 Minimum wage jobs gotta be one of the sufferings God put in the world after Adam ate that damn apple. Do say yeah and take this poverty too. You know, I'm starting to understand why there's so much evil in the world now. You know, you got people getting paid peanuts to do some hard labor, more labor than a pregnant woman. You get paid minimum wage to do the strangest job ever. It's like, so you are aware that there are other responsibilities to this job, right? Well, yeah, definitely. You know, along with flipping burgers, we also need you to clean up falling glass with your fucking teeth. Yeah, and we also need you to tongue clean the toilets. Yeah, good luck buddy, we're counting on you. In Texas, minimum wage is still $7 in some chain. How has there not been a literal or a vault going on down there? Like personally, if I was in charge of one of those Texan cities, I switched around some of the state lines. They're like, fuck it man, I'm part of Oklahoma. Oklahoma, yeah. Some of those jobs even got the nerve to say it's not just a job or a family. What sort of psycho manipulation you're trying to play on the folks? Family? Family that's paying their children diddly squat? Family that says, yeah, one hour of your life isn't even worth a $10 bill. I just can't understand. I can't fathom the heroes that can juggle two minimum wage jobs as a single human being. How can you survive that sort of mental stomping? It's like you're getting sliced up by a psycho killer and in the middle of it all, you call up Michael Myers to join in on the action. Hey, is this Michael? Yeah, the snake is whipping my ass. You can come and join in if you got some time. If I was a judge, I would give pardons to every criminal that has a minimum wage job. It doesn't matter what crime was committed. So I heard you blow up a children's cancer hospital, huh? Says here, you work at McDonald's. Oh, I'm sorry we've even wasted your time, sir. You're free to go. My dad's a doctor. Mayo dad is a pussy ass bitch. I went to college. I took the opportunity of spending eight years in nerd school. In the future, humans won't be discriminated based on race anymore. Now it's gonna be like some Mad Max apocalypse shit and they'll be the minimum wage workers versus the other people. Yeah, you better watch out. Mike Hatch, you slipping. Mike Hatch, you slipping, Mr. Doctor, doctoral degree, whatever that was called. Might pull up on you in a dark alleyway smelling like the pizza I just made at my job. Someone ordered delivery? That's gonna be my tagline before I force you to take me back to your house. Show me where your degree is and I crammed that shit down your fucking throat.