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Published on Nov 6, 2013
Hector: Where would you like to work this afternoon? Rudge: In a garage. Boys: No, No Scripps Not again. Have pity on us. Hector: Dakin, Where would you like today? Dakin: I would like to work . . . in a masion de passé. Hector: Oo-la-la Boys: What is that? What is a masion de passe? Posner A brothel Hector: Very well. But a brothel where all the clients use the subjunctive or the conditional tense, yes? See there, a client already. Who is the chamber maid? Posner: Me. I am the chamber maid. Hector: What are you called? Posner: I am called Simone. Akthar: Simone, the gentleman must not be kept waiting. Posner: Hello, sir. Dakin: Hello, my dear. Posner: Come in, please. Here is your bed and here is your prostitute Hector: Oh, here one calls a cat a cat. Dakin: Thank you madame. Posner: Mademoiselle Dakin: I want to stretch out on the bed. Hector: I would like to stretch out on the bed in the conditional or the subjunctive Posner: But the shoes sir, not on the bed. And your pants if you please. Dakin: Excuse me, miss. Posner: Oh what beautiful legs. Dakin Watch it. Posner And now, Claudine. Dakin: Yes, the prostitute, please. Crowther: Sir, I would think that you would like some preliminaries Dakin: Which preliminaries Posner: Claudine, What preliminaries are on the menu? Timms: At what price? Dakin: Ten francs. Timms: Ten francs? For ten francs I could show you my prodigious breasts. Dakin: And now, if I could caress the breast? Timms: That will cost you fifteen francs. For twenty francs you could place your mouth on my breast and agitate. . . Lockwood: Agitate what? (there is a knock) Posner: Another client! Hector: Ah, dear headmaster Headmaster: Mr. Hector, I hope I'm not Hector: English is forbidden. Here one speaks nothing but French, giving particular importance to the subjunctive. Headmaster: Oh ah. And what is going on here? Why is this boy, Dakin, isn't it, without his trousers? Hector: Anyone? Don't be shy. Tell our dear headmaster what you are doing. Dakin: I am a man who. . . Hector: You are not a man. You are a soldier, a wounded soldier; you understand dear Headmaster a wounded soldier? Headmaster: Wounded soldier, of course, yes. Hector: This is a hospital in Belgium. Headmaster: Belgium, Why Belgium? Akthar At Ypres sir. Ypres. During World War I. Hector. It is so. Dakin is a wounded soldier, one mutilated by the war and the others are the doctors and orderlies, and all the personnel of a large medical and therapeutic establishment. Continue my children. Headmaster: But . . . Akthar: How he suffers! Lockwood: My mother. My mother! Akthar: He calls for his mother. Lockwood: My father! My father! Akthar: He calls for his father! Lockwood: My aunt! Headmaster: His aunt? Timms: The whole family. Hector: He is distracted. He is distracted. Irwin: He is shell-shocked perhaps? Hector: What? Irwin: Commotionné. Shell-shocked. Hector: It is possible. Commotionné. Yes that is the right word. Headmaster: Allow me to introduce Mr. Irwin, our new teacher. Hector: Enchanted. Headmaster: What I want. . . Hector: What I would like. . . Headmaster: Would like. Enough of this silliness, not silliness, no but Mr. Hector, you are aware that these pupils are Oxbridge candidates. Hector: I, too. No, absolutely not. No. No. No. No, it is out of the question. And now if you will excuse me, I must continue the lesson. Until later