 Okay, so if you want a man to love you more, if you want him to appreciate you a lot more, if you want him to be exclusive with you, if you want a relationship, if you want more in your relationship, if you want a guy to take your relationship with you seriously, if you want more from a man in a relationship, then there's one thing that you really, and you need to make him feel like he's scared of losing you. And so today I'm going to be talking about just that, how to get a guy to be afraid of losing you, because I think this is absolutely vital. And it's very, very important that you know how to do this and about this if you want a great relationship where it moves to marriage, if marriage is what you want or commitment, if commitment is what you want or exclusivity, if exclusivity is what you want. And so if this is your first time to the channel, make sure you hit subscribe. And also if you are really serious about having the relationship that you've always wanted, make sure that you go over to the goddess community.com and check out joining our community there for free. All right, so there's one key to kind of doing all of this to make sure that it kind of works the right way and that you're creating the right emotions in this. And that key is to stop trying to force things. What a lot of women do is they try to force a guy to do all these things that they want him to do. And it usually doesn't work. And instead what you want to do is come from a position of power. And I've been talking a lot about this position of power thing in the last few live streams that I've done. And it's vitally, vitally important because power makes it so that he wants to choose to give you the things that you want in your relationship. So he feels that he's lucky to have you and that he doesn't want to screw things up with you because you're such an amazing, valuable, awesome woman that he wants to be with. Whereas force, trying to force three things, trying to manipulate things, trying to make him do things, what that ends up doing is making him want to run away, rebel and start questioning whether he really wants to be with you or not. And so the key here is to come from a position of power. If you're with us right now, make sure that you say hi and let us know where it is that you're watching this from in the chat because it's really cool to see all these women from all over the world watching these live streams together. It's really awesome. So thank you for doing that. So the number one thing that you need to avoid here is there's three things actually that you need to avoid. The first one is trying to throw other men in his face or trying to make him jealous, right? I've talked about this in some of the other videos before. Most women who try to do this really end up screwing it up and end up like hurting themselves instead of helping themselves because they try to throw other men into a guy's face or they do these things that are blatantly and explicitly trying to make a guy jealous. And it just all it does is make him either want to fight back against this and make you jealous or what did I end up doing is making him want to leave. And the second thing that you want to avoid is trying to hurt him or shame him or saying things to him in order to get responses. And this just makes him feel like being with you is really, really painful and it might help and might work short term. It might make you feel better, but long term it really destroys the relationship from the inside out. And so you don't want to do that. And number three is complaining nagging or attacking him for not giving you what you want. And this just makes him feel like he wants to rebel against you what you and what you want instead of choosing to give you what you want. And so there are five things here that you're going to want to do in order to make him feel like he's scared to lose you. And so I'm just going to go over each one of these things right now. The first one is something that we've been talking about a lot. It's the lifestyle principle, which is having a life outside of him right how getting hobbies, like so many women what they end up doing is they just like, when they get into a relationship with a guy or they start dating a guy, some even like when they start talking to a guy, they like lose everything else that's going on in their life. And they end up just getting on this guy. And sometimes it happens with guys too. And, you know, it's not just exclusive to women. But I see a lot of women in our community and women that I talked to doing this and it can really, really destroy things because what you end up doing is just putting everything in right and making everything about him. And it puts a lot of pressure on him. And it makes him kind of question like what's going on here. And it doesn't make him feel like you're really special and valuable and amazing. And that's what you want him to do is feel those things. And so what you want to do is get hobbies, have friends that you go and hang out with, you know, have a life outside of him. If you're not exclusive with him yet, what you want to do is make sure that you're still dating other people and still having I'm not suggesting sleeping around. I don't think you should be sleeping around, but you should definitely be dating and seeing other guys if you guys aren't exclusive yet, even if you're not really serious about any of those guys just so that you are feeling and coming from a space of abundance, which I talk a lot about as well. And so another thing that you want to think about in terms of this lifestyle component is that you don't want to have such a full life that there's no space for him or a man to be there. But there's enough things going on so that you don't just end up living your life for him and the relationship that you have together, right? Because I see a lot of women sometimes that end up that they're like, well, I don't even really have any time to meet or date anybody, you know, like, I've got this one time, you know, one hour, one day a week for guys to hang out and meet up with me. And it's like, you don't really have space for man to be in your life. And so you don't want to go to the extremes on any of these things. There's a there's a beautiful thing called the golden middle. And that's really where you want to be. Number two is start valuing, loving and taking care of yourself. And this is a really, really big topic. And it's something that I don't think that we talk really enough about. But it's one of those things where you don't want to so stop putting up with abusive or hurtful behavior, not just from men, but from anyone in your life, right? The more that you have kind of people and toxic people in your life, the more it hurts your self esteem, the more it hurts your your feelings of your own self worth and your own value, right? Your your self image, how you feel about yourself is incredibly extremely important in terms of having a guy feel that way about you. As I talked about my live stream yesterday, if you don't feel like you're really deserving of a guy, what's going to end up happening no matter how he feels about it, eventually, if you really don't believe it, you're going to eventually convince him that that that he shouldn't believe it either, right? He shouldn't believe that you deserve to have him in your life. And it ends up sabotaging and destroying everything. And so you want to fill yourself full of love, you want to fill your your life full of love, and you want to fill your life full of happiness, and you want to create good experiences and live a positive life that that fulfills you and makes you feel good about yourself and, you know, learn learn how to talk to yourself in a really healthy and positive way. If you're not doing that already, and learn to enjoy your your life and and feel good about yourself and what you're doing in the world and and what your life looks like and where you're going in your life. It's vitally vitally important. And two other a couple other things involved there too is one is make sure that you're taking care of your health because that's incredibly important. If your health goes away, it can completely devastate your life. And so make sure that you're you're taking care of your health and make sure that you're you're taking care of making making positive emotional experiences for yourself. You can control a lot of the ways that you think and that you feel not only about yourself but your life and the more that you kind of take charge of that and experience really awesome emotions for your life, the more that the people around you are going to feel that as well. And another one is is learn how to dress yourself well because that also can help you feel really good about yourself. And it'll make it so that when he's around you, he'll feel really good about you as well. Number three, if you get what I'm talking about here, make sure that you say, I get it. Say I get it in the chat. Number three is allow him to invest in you mentally, emotionally and with his time. And so the more invested that a man is with you, this is a psychological principle that I've talked about before. The more invested he is in you, the more he'll feel like he doesn't want to let you go. The more he'll feel like he's on your side, like you're part of a team, like he's really in this for to win it, right? Like that he'll feel like you're more valuable, the more time he spends with you and the more he invests in you and the more he's connected to you on a energy level, the more that he wins, the more that he feels like he's winning with you on a continual basis. It can be really, really powerful. So allow him, give him ways to win with you, give him ways to invest in you, connect with him on an emotional level, spend a lot of time with him one on one in person. And the reason that I say that specifically is because we keep getting all these women that keep talking about, oh, we've chatted for months or whatever on Insta chat, you know, Instagram or some other chat, Facebook chat or whatever, right? WhatsApp or wherever you're chatting with these guys on. And it's that's not the same. It's not the same as being in person. And you want to spend as much time in person as you can, because that's really where the magic happens. And that's where he feels that real time investment there. So number four, so there's five of them. And we're on number four. Number four is making sure that you're communicating your needs and desires when the time is right. And so it you know, it's interesting, I've talked to a few women about this. And a lot of times women think that guys just know what they're supposed to be doing. They think that guys know what kind of a relationship they want. They think guys know all these things. And guys do not know these things, right? Guys have everybody's been raised in different kinds of environments, especially if you're from a different part of the country or a different part of the world than each other, you guys might have vastly different ideas about what you should be doing in a relationship, what's appropriate, what is what, you know, you can get away with with another person, right? And so you need to make sure that you're communicating the right things. You need to make sure you're communicating what you want, and what your needs are and what your desires are. You need to make sure that you're setting healthy boundaries, making sure that you maintain those boundaries. And you need to make sure that he knows what it is that you want, otherwise he's not going to know what to do there. I mean, he might kind of assume that he knows what you want, but he might be wrong, right? A lot of times guys think that they know what a woman wants and they try to give it to her and they end up totally screwing it up because they have no idea what they're supposed to be doing. And so you need to figure out how to communicate what's going on with you and what your needs are and what you want. And make sure, and I've talked about this in many other videos, but make sure that you don't sleep with guys without being exclusive and knowing what he wants as well. So you need to find out what he's looking for because you don't want there to be any confusion about what you're getting yourself into from the very beginning. And so don't sleep with guys without being exclusive and knowing what he wants and knowing that he wants something more. And don't move in with guys without making sure that you get a ring, some kind of ring on your finger, if that's what you ultimately want. And so that's the thing about maintaining boundaries and communicating your needs. So remember that, remember that, make sure that you're not moving, stop moving, keep talking to all these women, stop moving into guys' places if you're not getting what it is that you want. What you want is just as important, if not more important, than what he wants because it's coming from you. And so you need to make sure that you're getting your needs and your desires taken care of first before you're making sure that he's getting his needs and desires taken care of because if you're not taking care of yourself and you're not making sure that your needs and desires are getting taken care of, you're gonna end up feeling really bad and maybe end up getting really resentful in the relationship and that is a bad way to go. You don't want to go down that route. And so number five and possibly one of the most important, if not the most important part of this, is that you need to create scarcity. And I've talked a lot about this and you know it's not fair and nobody wants it to be true and don't we all just wish that you know we didn't end up kind of taking other people for granted after time, but it's true and this is a psychological principle that time and time again this is just how things work. And so it's important to know about how things work so that you're not putting yourself into weird situations and how things work is that if you're around somebody all the time, what's gonna end up happening is they're gonna take your presence for granted. And it's the same thing with anything, right? And I've talked about this before. If a guy brings you flowers every single day, eventually you're just gonna expect that he's gonna bring you flowers and you're gonna start taking it for granted. If you eat chocolate every single day, eventually it's gonna wear out and it's not gonna be special anymore because you're getting it every single day, right? And so it's not amazing that you get chocolate and that's why it's better to eat, if you eat chocolate and you love chocolate, to eat chocolate only once, once a month or twice a month or something like that because then it's this awesome experience that you have that you really enjoy instead of this thing that you have all the time that becomes really familiar and it's not that interesting to you anymore. And so if it's something that you really desire and it scares, it becomes a lot more valuable and that's what the idea of scarcity is, right? And so one of the ideas here is instead of sending out, reaching out every single day and saying, good morning, good night with your text messages and stuff, which I keep talking to women that are doing this, instead of doing it anyway, it's not bad to send a good morning or a good evening or a good night text or anything like that. But what ends up happening is if you're doing it all the time, it becomes predictable, it loses its value and it's not as exciting for him to receive it. And so you want to be more unpredictable in this sense. You want to be more sporadic with reaching out instead of doing it every day and every night and every time that he expects you to. Because then all of a sudden he's expecting it and you're just going to be doing it and you want to give him some space. You want to give him space so that he can wonder about what you're doing and where you are and who you're with. Because when you do that, all of a sudden he starts thinking about things and he's going, wait a second, you know, and you don't have to throw jealousy in his face. You don't have to throw men in his face because he'll start thinking about that himself. Like, yeah, is she hanging out with just her girlfriends? Is there a guy in the picture? Like what's going on here? Right. And he'll start worrying about it and he'll be like, okay, I gotta, you know, if we aren't exclusive now, we should probably kind of talk about this, you know, and that kind of thing will start coming up for him, right? And if he's really, really disciplined and strong, he might hold back for a while. But if he really wants something with you and, you know, he's really attracted to you and he really desires you, he might even start bringing up a lot of these topics instead of you having to wait about it. And that's really the ideal scenario that you want to be in. And so another thing is rewarding bad behavior with absence, right? And so basically this whole thing is what a lot of women do is they, when a guy kind of does things that they don't like or the guy treats her badly or something, she'll try to communicate and connect with him and do all these things. And you want to communicate, but you don't want to kind of attack and try to shame and try to do all those things. But what you want to do is communicate that it's not acceptable for you, that it's something that's breaking your boundary. And you want to reward that bad behavior with your absence and pulling away, because that is the fastest way for a guy to start paying attention to what's going on is when you start pulling away and leaving. Because all of a sudden it shows that you're really, really serious about it. If you talk about it and talk about it, one of the big things that a lot of guys talk about in the men's dating space, I used to be in the men's dating space, and I used to teach in the men's dating space years and years ago. And one of the things that guys just talk about in that space is whenever a woman would leave them, which happens, is they would say things like, oh, she kept saying stuff like that, like she was going to leave me, but I never took her seriously. And if you want them to take you seriously, then give him the gift of missing you. Give him the gift of your absence when you want to discourage bad behavior. So which comes to the next point and the most important point here, which is being willing to walk away long term, right? So if you're not getting your needs met, and you've been seeing a guy and he's not willing to meet your needs, maybe you're in a relationship and you've talked about these things and you've communicated these things, maybe you didn't start seeing my videos until last week and you've been in a relationship for a while and you're in this situation, one of the most important things that you need to know is that you have to be willing to walk away if you're not getting what your needs met. And the whole point of this is switching your mindset, right? Switching your mindset from being about this guy, this one guy that you want to get into to have to catch to keep switching your mindset from this guy to the relationship and figuring out what's more important, this guy having this one guy or having the ultimate relationship that I want to have. And my suggestion is that you focus on the relationship instead of the guy. And obviously that's going to be up to you because it's your choice and what you want to have. But my suggestion is that you make sure that you're willing to get what you deserve in your life. And that focus, in my opinion, should be on the relationship instead of the guy. And so if you guys have any questions about anything, make sure that you put them in the chat. I'm going to go over the everything that we talked about real quickly here. And then I will go over the chat and see what everybody's talking about. So again, we're talking about how to make a guy scared of losing you. The key is to stop trying to force things and to instead come from a position of power. You want to avoid throwing other men or jealousy in his face, trying to hurt him or shame him and or saying things to get responses, complaining, nagging or attacking him for not giving you what you want. You want to stop doing those things. And instead you want to have a life outside of him, start valuing, loving and taking care of yourself, allowing him to invest in you mentally, emotionally and from a time standpoint, you want to communicate your needs and desires when the time is right. And you want to create scarcity and have the willingness to walk away if you're not getting your needs met in your relationship. And if you're really serious about having the relationship that you've always wanted to have, make sure that you go to the goddesscommunity.com and check out joining our community there for free. And as a welcome gift, you're also getting my brand new program that I just came out with called the forever woman for free if you join our community there. So let's go to all of the questions. Hello, hello, hello, who Leslie says, why can't you just be honest instead of playing all of these games? Well, I don't think that they're necessarily games. I think that there's things that work and things that don't work, right? And this is the same way for men with women, right? Like, we all wish that things were just really simple and easy. You just walk up and you're just like, Hey, I like you. She's like, I like you. And you fall in love and you and everything works happily ever after. Unfortunately, things don't work that way, right? And there's psychology, and there's biology, and there's kind of these things that work and things that don't work. And so, you know, you can be really kind of righteous about it and be very mad that things don't work the way that you want them to work, or you can figure out how things work and just decide that you're going to do what works and just focus on that and getting what it is that you want, you know? And in some regards, it kind of sucks, you know, it's like, Oh, man, that sucks that things don't just work the way that I want them to. And in other ways, it's kind of it's kind of that's kind of the beauty of life, right? The beauty of life is that we it's not just so simple, right? There's there's complexity to it. And we get to learn about ourselves. We get to learn about the world. We get to become successful by trying different things and doing different things. And we fail and that's a part of life. And there's a lot of beauty in that. And it's reality, and you can fight reality, but reality always wins when you fight with it. So there's that. There's that. It's not the answer you want to hear, but it's reality. So Cindy says, Hi, quick question. I've been dating this guy for a month, but he hasn't asked me to be his girlfriend. How can I make this happen without coming off like I'm pressuring him? Well, I mean, what what do you mean by you guys have been dating for a month, right? Have you are you are you sleeping together? Right? Here's my suggestion. My suggestion is you stop worrying about being boyfriend girlfriend. I mean, what does that mean even right? Like I'm his girlfriend. Like, does that mean that you're exclusive together? Does that mean that you're committed together? Does that mean that he wants a real relationship with you? Because those are the things that I would be focusing on if I were you, instead of getting this label of girlfriend, although if that's part of the package, that might be something that you might be interested in. However, you know, this this whole idea of scarcity and all the things that we just talked about, that is what will make it so that that's really easy to get. Wow, lots of people from all over Sweden, Idaho, Ukraine, Puerto Rico, Florida, Canada. Cindy said, Never mind. I feel like you're answering my question. That's exactly what I'm doing. That's exactly what I do with this video is I answered your question. With my guy, we can't get beyond just best friends. So is it your guy? Are you guys in a romantic relationship or are you just best friends? Because if you're just best friends, I created a video not too long ago, you should go and look it up. It's called something like how to turn your guy friend into your boyfriend. And it's a great video. It's a great video that tells you exactly how to get through that if that's what you want to do. Little Miss S says, Can you please explain how can I make my boyfriend who is going under stress miss me without coming off as needy or in consideration? Well, if your boyfriend's got a lot of stress going on, and you're worried about coming off as needy. So making a guy miss you and coming off as needy are two completely separate things in the world. And it's kind of concerning to me when you say how do I make him miss me without coming off as needy, which makes it sound to me like you're trying to do something specific like send him a message that'll make him miss you. There's I created I actually did a live stream not too long ago about how to make a guy miss you, which I think that you should go and watch, which will give you all of I actually talk about this as well in my forever woman program. If you want to check that out at the goddess community.com. Or you can go check out that live stream that I did, which is a really, really powerful live stream. If you want to know about how to make a guy miss you that's that is the best place for you to go. So go search on my channel for how to make a man miss you or something like that. It's one of the recent live streams that I've done. So yeah, Denise says when men are stressed, they need a little space. Little miss says he is growing distant. I want to pull him closer instead of put pushing him away. Yep. Canepster says, hey, caught you finally. Hello and thank you for making these. You're welcome. You're welcome. So do we have question? Alice says great advice, Matt, but oh, so difficult to practically implement requires a lot of self development. Are you talking about the self love? It does. It takes time, you know, there's this, this story about the, the David by Michelangelo, right? The sculptor Michelangelo created this sculpture called the David and it took him over two years to create and it actually took him a long time to even find the piece of marble that he was going to create it with. He was, he was given this task by this really powerful group of people back in his day in order to create this sculpture. And it took him a long time to find. He ended up finding this piece of marble that was out in the middle of nowhere that somebody else tried to use, but couldn't quite use it for what they wanted to. And so they just left it there and had been sitting there for years and he finds this piece of marble and it took him two years of, of creating the, the actual statue and then it took him a long, long time to kind of sand it down and work on it and, and reveal it. And after Michelangelo finished creating this sculpture of David, he brought it to this town square and everybody who looked at it and there are people like fainting and they're just, he was immediately recognized as, you know, the most amazing sculptor of the day or what, of, of his day and age. And when they asked him later about like how he created it and how he got this sculpture of David out of this piece of stone, what Michelangelo said was, when he looked at the marble, he saw that it was already there and all he had to do was remove everything that wasn't David from the piece of marble. And so in my opinion, a lot of this stuff is, is like that, right? It's, it takes time, right? It takes time to kind of, we have a lot of thoughts, we have a lot of junk in our mind from our, from our childhood. A lot of times we have a lot of negative thoughts from being abused or hurt in previous relationships. We've got a lot of things that is there that's junk. That's not a part of who we really are. And a lot of times it can take time to kind of remove all of the stuff that's not who we are from, from this beautiful sculpture of, of who we are as a human being. And so I wouldn't get too overly, that was a long, that was kind of a long rant about personal development. However, I think that it's very, very important that you take some time and really work on yourself and, and re take a look at the way that you think and the way that you feel about yourself and your life and really focus on creating a life that you love and working on your self-image and working, and making sure that you really love yourself and that you're taking care of yourself and that you, that you look at yourself in a really positive light. Okay, so Sana says, I met a guy that have been hot and cold, stepped back for a few days and he contacted me today asking me if I was upset with him and told me sorry in such case. How can I tell him that I need more? Well, what you want to do is you want to set a boundary there and talk about what is really attractive to you and what's really not attractive to you. I talk a lot about this, this is framing, kind of framing conversations and framing what it is that you need and what you want, right? And just let him know like what, you know, when, when you're like, it's one of those things like sometimes people have to go hot and cold. And I don't know what you mean exactly by hot and cold, but what you're probably talking about is that he's really on sometimes and then sometimes he's, he's off and he kind of disappears and there's something going on with him. And what you want to do is you want to communicate that if he's going to do that, he needs to talk to you about it, right? And just let him know it's really attractive when, you know, if it's, it would be really attractive to you in the future if he talked to you about what it is that is going on with him so that you're not kind of left in the dark about where he is or thinking that, you know, whatever is going on with him, that's, that's the first thing. Number two is you need to do what we kind of talk about in this video, which is making sure that you have a life and that you're seeing and dating other people so that it's not, you're not all of your focus is focused on this one guy and making sure that you're communicating your boundaries and letting him know what, what it is that you need in a way where I was just talking about it, like what's attractive, what's unattractive, like it's really, you know, like, I don't know, talking about it in, in terms of like it, it's attractive that, you know, when, when a guy communicates with you, like tell him what you like. So this whole idea about framing is you're, you're talking about things that you like, right? Like I, if I'm sitting here and we're talking to each other and we're having a conversation and you say something and I'm like, Hey, you know what, I, you know what I really like is I love it when, when people compliment me, right? Which maybe you've heard me say in other live streams before, which I do, I really, I really love it when people compliment me. It's like one of, it's one of my favorite things ever, right, is when people compliment me. It makes me feel really good about myself, right? And when I tell you that, what ends up happening on these live streams, and you can just watch what happens on live streams, you might want to see some of the other live streams that I've done where I've been like, oh, I really love it when people compliment me. All of a sudden we start getting all these people complimenting me in the live stream, right? Why are they doing that? Because they know that I like compliments and they want me to feel good, right? And if this guy, if you're dating this guy and he likes you and he wants you to feel good, then you can talk to him about the things that you like. You can talk to him about the things that you, that make you feel attracted and that make, make you turned on and the things that, all these things, right? And framing it in those terms of like, oh man, you know, it's just so, so attractive when a guy like knows how to communicate with me and just, you know, tells me what's going on with him. You know, I don't know. It's like, sometimes when guys disappear, it's just, you know, it's just such a turn off. And then I'm just like, I'm not really even sure about him anymore. And I kind of like, started thinking about other people and it, you know, and just framing it in those terms, right? And just the terms of like, hey, this is really unattractive and this is really attractive and this is something I like and this is something I don't like. And, you know, talking about those things, one, it's, it's helping him get to know you and two, it's you're teaching him how to treat you. And so if you want him to treat you in a certain way, you need to be able to communicate that. And the best way, in my opinion, to do it is through framing. So that's that. If you want to know more about framing, go check out my Love Frames toolkit. It's a really great program all about framing. So Denise says, the more invested a man is in you, the more connected he is on an energy level. Allow him to win. That's right. Allow him to win. Mary says, grandma and I get it. Awesome. Like your, I like your grandma, Mary. I think she's great. Page says, they barely know what day it is. Okay. Papa Papa 007 says I walk on eggshell so that I don't upset him. Sounds horrible. Gloria says my guy invest in me helps a lot around the house fixes my car plumbing, etc. However, he's not cuddly or romantic. He tells me he's always tired. I feel like chopped liver. That sucks. Bunny Bundy says, what if you are already in an exclusive relationship with them? We do not see each other very often because he works out of state, but we text almost daily. Well, it's going back to the whole thing that I just talked about, right? With scarcity. So scarcity is, it's a, it's a very interesting thing. It's a very magical thing because when you aren't constantly in contact, then that contact that you do have becomes a lot more valuable. Just remember that. So I don't know exactly how you guys are doing things, but you know, and it's one of those things where you don't want to fix something that's not broken. Okay. So I don't know what's going on in your situation, Bunny Bundy. However, you want to remember that if things are going well, you don't necessarily need to start doing a bunch of stuff to fix things. If it's everything is going well. And so just remember that, you know, you don't want to mess with stuff that's working. Gloria says, I'm an attractive woman. I don't understand him. He says he's not seeing anyone else, but never says he loves me. I went no contact. Other men are coming around, but I care for him. Well, I mean, have you talked to him about it? I mean, are you saying you love him? Have you talked to him about it? Have you communicated that it, you know, it's, it's one of those things like he doesn't say he loves you. Are you saying you love him and he's not reciprocating that he loves you back? You know, like what, what exactly is the situation here? I mean, if, if he isn't, it's one of those things like sometimes we talk about these things, like no contact is a pretty, it's a pretty intense kind of technique. It's a pretty intense thing to use with somebody. And so it's like, okay, he's not saying he loves you. So you go no contact. Like have you, have you tried communicating with him first? Have you tried talking to him about this? Have you tried to communicate how you feel about him not saying it? Have you, you know, like what have you done here that has made you go from he's not saying he loves me to I've completely gotten no contact with him, right? Cause there's a whole bunch of steps in there between, right? Like over here is he's not saying he loves me. And over here is like, I'm going no contact, which is like a, a thing that you do with people who are exes, right? That you're trying to get back together with. And so there's a whole world of things here in the middle that you probably want to try starting with communication instead of just jumping to the, jumping to the no contact thing. So Julie Trey says, thanks Matt for all the advice. You're welcome. You are so welcome. Sun King says, the reason I don't say I love a woman is because I lost leverage and from my past experience, women have left me once I out of those words. Yeah, that's a good point, Sun King. Thanks for chiming in there and talking about that because it's one of those things, right? A lot of women are concerned. What one, I mean Sun King, just to talk to you a little bit about this is that since you're here Sun King and we're having this conversation, you also want to create leverage with yourself and come from a power position and not try to force things and make sure that, you know, the, the flame of desire and love is burning bright in your relationship. A lot of these principles that I talk about in all of these live streams work with both men and women. It's, it's really powerful stuff and it's not gender specific. And it's important that you're doing things to put yourself in a position of abundance and power position and making sure that you have a space where you're, you know, saying, saying I love you to a woman isn't what made her leave you, right? Like that, I can guarantee you that it wasn't you saying I love you that made her disappear on you, right? She didn't leave you because you said I love you. There is something else, right? If she loves you and you said I love you, she's not going to walk away from that because you said I love you, right? What, what happened was there was something else that you're missing, probably a bunch of other things that you're missing that you were doing wrong. And so her attraction and love for you either died or wasn't there. And what ended up happening was you threw that on her and you probably did it with expectations and trying to get something out of it or maybe you guys were just friends who knows what your situation was. However, it didn't work out because you were screwing things up from before that as well. And so you got to remember that, right? You got to remember like, you know, people kind of blame things. They're like, Oh man, I said I love you one time to this woman and she left me. And it's like, okay, well, what was going on before you said that you loved her, right? Was it, you know, you guys were totally in love and she said that she loved you and then you said it back to her and she ran off? Probably not. What probably, you know, may have happened was a whole bunch of different things. I'm not going to dwell on this point. Let's, let's move on. Alice Cooper. Alice Cooper is watching the live stream. Thank you for all the advice, Matt. I'm sure it's spot on. You seem unusually stressed today. I could use a good massage. That's really what, that's really what I could use right now. I was bitten by a vampire. I'm here in Romania and I was bitten by a vampire and now I am turning and I was bitten by Dracula and I'm turning into a vampire. Rachel says, thank you, Matt. Clap, clap. You are welcome. Denise said, phenomenal advice. Thank you. You're welcome. You are welcome. Wendy says, awesome information. You are welcome. How to be the one that got away. Great education stuff just to know. It is great education stuff. This is important stuff that everybody should know. Linda says, what if you are already sleeping together after two months and now it's been a total of three months and all has been good? How do you bring up exclusivity? Well, you bring it up by letting him know what, what I would do if I were you is I would bring it up by saying, Hey, you know, like having a talk with him and preferably before you guys sleep together again, where basically you let him know that you only, that you've decided that you only want to be physically intimate with a guy if you are being exclusive together and that you're not, neither one of you are sleeping with anybody else. And then tell him say, Hey, you know, I, if, if you decide, you know, I want to make sure that we're being safe and that, and that everything's good and that, you know, we're being exclusive with each other. And so if you decide that you want to sleep with somebody else, you know, will you make sure that you tell me about it so that I know what's going on and just listen to what he says, because he'll, if you tell him, if you let him know that you want to be exclusive and you're just like, Hey, I, I've decided that I really, I, I don't want to see other people, you know, I don't want to be having sex with other people while we are being physically intimate together. And I don't want you to be having sex with other people while we're being physically intimate together because it, you know, I want to make sure that we're being safe and that, you know, that everything's kind of understood between us, you know, and, and, you know, and then ask him, will you make sure to let me know if you decide that you want to go and sleep with somebody else so that I understand, you know, what's going on between us and making sure that we're being safe together and just, just have a conversation with him kind of from that basis point, you'll find out a lot about what's going on with him and how he feels about that and whether he's willing to do it or not. But if you're just looking for exclusivity and you guys are hooking up together, that is the best way to do it is just to kind of bring up this conversation about exclusivity and, and give him freedom, give him freedom to say yes, give him freedom to say no, give him freedom to be like, Oh, okay. And, and, you know, based on what he says after that will be very indicative of how things are going, right? If he's like, you know, if he's like, Yeah, sure, I'll do that. That's great. If he's like, Hey, yeah, absolutely. I was, I thought we were exclusive and I, you know, I'm not seeing anybody else that tells you something else. And if he's like, Hey, I really just want to see you. And I think that you're awesome. And I want to spend more time with you that that will tell you more, right? And so how he kind of responds to that conversation tells you a lot about what's going on. Sunita says, I'm interested in a person who is a public figure would like to know how to stop his bad behavior when he really don't want to lose me. Okay. AJ says, I have a hard time letting him do things for me. I've done things for myself for so long. Yeah, I get that a lot. I hear a lot of women, especially strong independent women, you know, who have been doing a lot of stuff for themselves. And I feel like he'll so she says, I'll feed and I feel like he'll get burned out. I did in my past relationships when I did everything. Does that make? Does that make? Does that make? I think you're asking if it makes sense. So I've done things for myself for so long. And I feel like he'll get burned out. You know, you'll you can be surprised that how much a guy will do for you when you let him do stuff for you. And so I just let him start doing stuff for you and just open yourself up to it and ask him for help, you know, and just just make it kind of a stair step thing for yourself, right? If you're if you've had problems with kind of opening up and allowing people to do stuff, just kind of walk it walk it up a little bit and don't don't try to put too much on yourself of trying to let him do things for you too quickly and just just let it kind of escalate over time. That's totally that is totally cool. Denise says, I don't agree or I agree. Don't think of it as a game. It's just part of our beautiful world. The delicious unfolding of learning all about a wonderful new man. I like your I like the way you put that Denise. That's really cool. Alicia says, this may be off topic, but I'm sitting with a guy I've been crushing on for a while. I'm at his house with his son and we are having no interaction just playing on our phones. What do I do? Send him a bunch of emojis. That's what you should do. Send him some emojis. Dakota says, why does the guy I'm with only say I love you once in a while? Why does he say he only loves you once in a while? Because he feels like he loves you once in a while. That's why he says it. Julie Tree says, I was a forever lady three years ago, but he died and I'm so lost without him. Don't know how to move on. I'm sorry to hear that Julie Tree. I hope that you regain kind of your strength and your identity and really take on it. You know, I know it's he'll probably be with you forever. And it's it can be a very difficult thing. I've lost a lot of people in my life and it's never been a somebody that I've been in a romantic relationship with where I've lost them, but I've definitely lost a lot of people and it can be really painful and they will be with you forever in memory. And so Rebecca says, hi Matt. I am from England. I recently broke up with man, but he keeps messaging me on Facebook. It's a good place to messenduring somebody. And by text, what am I supposed to do? Do I continue to talking to him or block him? I mean, you know, you're even why are you even asking? Why are you asking about whether you should continue to talk to him or not? My suggestion is if you're breaking up with him and you want this to be a permanent breakup that you stop talking to him and you give him some space and you allow yourself and you allow him to heal for a while. Dakota says, why does my guy only say I love you when we are apart? Because of exactly what I was talking about with the scarcity thing, because when you're away, that's when he really appreciates you. Go listen to the scarcity part again. Gloria says, I told him I miss him and want more time with him. He never responds. That's when I got tired and went contact. I'm now cut off there. Denise said, Sharon, think of a doorman at a hotel wish them well. And when they leave, welcome them warmly when they return. Hydracula. Hello. You see my Dracula teeth? I'm like Dracula. Totally. I'm totally a vampire. I'm a vampire. Gloria says, went no contact. I am upset and feel like I'm over it. I see my value and comes around before it's too late. I think you meant I hope you see my value. Quick question. My boyfriend has an avoidant attachment. Know all about that. We have different comfort zones of distance. How can we come to common ground without pressuring him or pushing him away? Okay. So you want to come to common ground. So what's going on exactly right now? So avoid an attachment style for everybody that doesn't know is somebody that kind of pulls away and avoids things. When they start feeling pressure or they start feeling a lot of kind of like negative emotions and what they do is they pretend like they don't have emotional needs. They pretend like they don't have needs in regards to relationships. And so you're asking, how can we come to common grounds without pressuring him or pushing him away? Well, what you need to do is communicate with him and communicate with him and just talk to him about like, this is what you should do. What you should do is you should talk about what your what your perfect scenario would look like and ask him what his perfect scenario would look like and just ask him what he wants and what, you know, what would it look like and how would it feel and just kind of talk about your wants and your desires and just, you know, just start just start communicating. Start having the conversation about it and just keep communicating and communicating and communicating and doing what we talk about in this video and doing the framing stuff that we talked about. It's very important communication, talking about it. Linda says, Hey Matt, please help. What if we are already sleeping together after two months and now it's been a total of three months and all been good. Oh, I think I already talked about that. Matt says, Hi Matt, what if he is not scared to lose me because he is more focused on his career? Well, it kind of depends on how focused he is on his career because, you know, if he's a super workaholic, he'll be pretty focused on his career. And it's one of those things where it's like, okay, what you need, if you want him to feel more like he's missing you and he's scared of you not being there and all that kind of stuff, because especially if he's got, you know, like what we were just talking about with the avoidant attachment style and all that kind of stuff, what you need to do is you need to focus on the connection. You need to focus on building that connection. And instead of making it about him being scared of losing you, make it about him missing you when you're not around. And so my suggestion is that you go back over that live stream that I did not too long ago about making a guy miss you and focus on building that positive emotional and deep and wide connection with him so that he feels like he just wants to be around you all the time. And then, you know, and then give him the gift of missing you and do the things that we talk about in this video, because that will make him feel like him being super focused on his work doesn't mean that he won't be scared of losing you. But what it means is that he's getting so much joy and focus and like pleasure and fulfillment and all these different things from his business. And he's probably been doing that and getting that for a very long time that he's not shifting his focus over and getting a lot of it from you. And so if you're creating kind of these deep emotional bonds and making him have a lot of fun and making it amazing to be around you and making it so that he's like totally addicted to being in your presence, what ends up happening is that he will start to he will start to shift that focus and he'll be like wow I'm getting all of this amazing stuff over here instead of just in the space of work where I'm controlling everything and he'll he'll start to shift that focus and and if he's feeling that way it doesn't matter how much he's focused on his work he will he will be afraid he will be scared of losing it if it's if it's the best that he's had and it's and it's that amazing and it's just something that he absolutely loves. He will be afraid of losing it and he will want to make sure that you're connected and sometimes he might be he might be focused on his work because you know men tend to be more kind of single focused on things however I can guarantee you that in his in his space he will think about it and he will be like man I want to make sure that everything's cool with her and I want to make sure you know everything's great with her and again you know making sure that you're communicating your needs and stuff because a lot of times those guys guys that are super focused on their work it's like it's not that they it's not that they aren't scared of losing you or any of that kind of stuff it's that they've got so much going on over there and they're like okay well I'm going to make sure that I'm taking care of her needs and making sure that you know everything's going on good over here as long as you're communicating them and it's something that he feels like he can do and you guys have that great connection together and I hope that I hope that I hope that really made a lot of sense to you so Alice Cooper says wow love the rant about the statue of Michelangelo so inspiring you are a true mentor life god thank you makes me feel so elated that perhaps building a better life self love is achievable it is achievable you can do that you can do that you can do that okay so I have to get going here it has been past the hour so thank you so much for being here with me if you are really serious about getting into a relationship where you feel valued and loved and seen for the amazing woman that you are make sure that you go over to the goddesscommunity.com and consider joining our community there you will get a copy of the new program that I just created called the forever woman there if you join up with our program so go check that out thank you so much for being here with us this whole thing is about helping empower you and giving you the tools that you need to have an amazing relationship where you feel loved and seen and cherished and just treated really great by an amazing guy and making you making you aware that you have options and giving you the ability to really have not only the relationship that you want to have but the life that you want to have and so thank you so much for being here with me and thanks for being a part of this allowing me to be a part of your journey and so thank you so much everybody and I will speak with you again