 I'm taking your health back on Think Tech Live Streaming Network series, broadcasting from our downtown studio at Piney on Honolulu. I'm your guest host today, Helen Dora Hayden, sitting in for our lovely regular host, Wendy Lowe. Mahalo, Wendy, for allowing me to host your amazing show and share my story on how I took my health back. Safe travels to see when you get back home. Remember that our talk shows are streamed live on the Internet from 12 noon to 5 p.m. every weekday, and earlier shows are streamed all night long. All our shows are streamed on livestream.com. If you want the links to our live streams or previous workshops, which are available on youtube.com, or if you want to subscribe to our programs or get on our mailing list and get our program advisories, go to thinktechhawaii.com. If you want to post a question or a comment during one of our shows, please tweet us at thinktech.hi. We'll try to get to some questions by the end of this show. Today, I'm very lucky. I get to have Dave Fiedel, my amazing boss, join me as a co-host on this show. Dave, thank you so much for joining me. Absolutely, Helen. So nice to see you. Thank you, sir. Today, I'm just going to go through a couple slides to show the audience what I went through on my magnificent journey of weight loss and transformation. We're going to talk a little bit about physical health and mental health, which a lot of people don't like talking about. But I love it because it's a one-whole-body process. So today, I am absolutely excited to share this journey because it's magnificent. And Hawaii has been so challenging for me. Thank you so much for including me in this journey. Absolutely. So, on to our pictures. I want to share with you the first picture. It's me at my heaviest weight after I was 200 pounds in Alaska before I came to Hawaii. I was sick. I was diabetic. I was walking with a cane and very stuck. I was sick in my relationship. I was sick in my physical being and in my physical being. Then something amazing happened. The second picture shows you that I moved to Maryland and this is what I looked like after 25 pounds of weight. I did lots of line dancing. I did lots of drinking water. I gave up fast food and fast fast food. I walked two miles a day. Rain or shine did not matter. But I loved the transformation. So I came to Hawaii and bought myself a convertible. Third slide will show you that exciting adventure. That's me and my new little convertible in Hawaii. I learned how to shakka with the best of them and had just a wonderful experience here. I came back to school. I got my first apartment on my own. My family lives here. My son's active duty. So it was a real good journey for me to come to Hawaii and see if Hawaii really fit me. I am definitely an island girl now. So my other slide, the next slide will show you how I kind of lost this weight. When I got to Hawaii, the first place I saw out was a country western place. The national Waikiki. They had a loha tower. They moved. But I got there three nights a week and I line danced. And I learned how to swing and do two steps and how to blast. I tossed around like a rag doll. I had just the best time ever met the best people ever. Then after National Waikiki, one extra gift was given to me. I got to reconnect with an amazing person in my life. This person I knew when he was active duty, same as John. And we dated for a brief moment 30 years ago in Fairbanks, California. Crazy, right? And we reconnected here and I did not believe for a minute that we were the same man for 30 years. We both changed. I got real sassy and John just didn't look like the John I knew back then. So it was really fun to reconnect. And I can report to you now that we've been engaged for two years already. We love being fiancés. I think we're going to be fiancés for life. But John's on his journey and getting healthier and I'm on mine. So the next slide will show you that, you know, even though I was getting healthier in Hawaii, I still had the health issue. And that's me at Trippler. I think they have my name on a bed over there. I swear. This was such a, I have two hearts. When I lived in Alabama years ago, they said, oh, there's nothing wrong. You know, you have a little bit of high cholesterol. They did an angiogram. And then they sent a two heart, put two stints in my heart and said, I had jump habit for a long time. That was a really rough ride. But, you know, you can keep a good girl down. That's for sure. But every year I think it developed something more and more in itself. And until I met Wendy Lowe, I really didn't think about having the good old people. You really taught me a new program. But the next slide I'm going to show you, this happened this September. This one was where I was. And that's a scary, scary thing to have. And you don't know if it's a scary thing. And once again, I go partying off the tripler. They all had different opinions. But luckily, I had a neurologist, C.A., that worked with me and taught me to distinguish strokes and belt quality. He said, put your hand up in the air and put it. Like, like you're picking the finger. He said, if you can do that, that's a fine motor stroke. And I know that now. I did not do that before. And so I did everybody that. And he said, belt quality is very cool in here. And people were like, how did it come about? And I said, no, it's just the information of the type of thing you'll know. But it looked so scary. It took a couple months for me to get over that. And get back on track. So once again in January, I hit the ground running and started back in school. Started doing some internship work at the VA. The VA was very nice enough to let me intern with them. And I'm just continuing my journey with HVU to finish graduating at the Boston through non-profit medicine and development. Recently, I'm super excited. One more slide I got to show you. This is Rindy on her patio. She tried to get me to print a kale smoothie. I turned my nose way up. I said, hey, that's great. That's great. It was the first to cut itself. But look at that kale plant on her patio. She's touching these. Her magic touching up blender. And next thing I know, I'm drinking a kale smoothie and it was delicious. I could not believe it. She uses some juice plus powder and it was just phenomenal. And she taught me a lot about the power gardens and about just juice plus and what it does for the body and all these great things that she does. And all her friends have been so warm and welcoming. And they told me about their health issues and how they've overcome them. So I'm a firm believer. I just got to follow their example. But I'm super excited to be on this class to get that health apart. Body health. And after the break, I want to talk to you a little bit more about mental health. Things that people do. But physical health. Come join me, Jay. Come join me down at Nash's. I can see. Rindy Lowe. I jerk her down there. And now she's a convert. She line dances with the best of them. She brings her friends. We have a very good time. You don't have to drink. It's free. There's less Monday and Friday nights from Donna. All of us will keep you to the basis. And then before you know it, you'll pass me up. You don't even have to wear a hat or a blue. So what do you think about my crazy journey? Wow. It takes a certain amount of gumption. You know, it's a good journey. You've had hard times, but you've always been good here. I remember a few parts. You've always been up on things. I think that's got to be part of it. And the other part is, you know, you have the U.S. military behind you. And that brought a few things about how to deal with problems. And you have the veterans administration behind you. And that's what it's about. It's provided all kinds of medical care for you. So it's too bad if you suffer these misfortunes. But at the same time, I'm very impressed that you have recovered. You're looking great. You sound great. You're clear-headed and you're a really good host. Thank you so much. I forgot to mention one more thing. Scribler starts up with a VA to provide physical assistance. And if you can't get time and appointment, they do out with quick. And so veterans are very lucky to get paid in two years. In two years, I think I've seen a lot. According to my mom, I don't... It's fully related. I automatically think I'm going to die, right? Because of my mom's death. But everybody reminded me I'm not my mother. I get early tests. And they found it early enough. And I was bedridden. And interestingly enough, the minute I could go line dancing, I went. And I did this aerial kick. And that landed me in bed for three days. But it was so worth it to get back on that dance floor. The secret is all in line dancing. The secret is all in line dancing. But I tell you, it's the support that I've got. My family being here. Everything... And it's just really... Everybody, all my friends, start over. I don't like to dance, but no, everything else I can do. Or hi. But we're about to take a break. And I just want to say that we're going to take a break. I am Helen Dora-Heiden. I am your guest host on Taking Your Health Back. On Think Tech Live Streaming Network Serious. We'll be back in a minute. We'll be talking about mental health. But please stay tuned for more of the stories. Hi, I'm Rusty Komori, host of Beyond the Lines on Think Tech Hawaii. My show is based on my book also titled Beyond the Lines. And it's about creating a superior culture of excellence, leadership, and finding greatness. I interview guests who are successful in business, sports, and life, which is sure to inspire you in finding your greatness. Join me every Monday as we go Beyond the Lines at 11 a.m. Aloha. Aloha, I'm Yukari Kunisue, the host of Konnichiwa Hawaii, Japanese talk show on Think Tech Hawaii. Konnichiwa Hawaii is all Japanese broadcast show. And it's streamed live on Think Tech at 2 p.m. every other Monday. Thank you so much for watching our show. We look forward to seeing you then. I'm Yukari Kunisue. Mahalo. We're live. I'm Helendora Hayan, guest host on Taking the Health Back on Think Tech Live Streaming Network Series. I am sitting next to the most amazing man I have met, shy of my son and John Adams, Jay Fiedal. Jay, thank you again for hosting this event with me. Oh, it's fun to be with you. Thank you so much. So I want to talk a little bit, before we get into the mental health part, one thing that I've decided to do is start making my mother. I know everybody has that reaction. My mother. Mine dancing and kimchi. They go hand in hand. Kimchi is a super food. And according to the people that make it in Korea, the experts, they have a whole litany of reasons why you should eat kimchi. It's amazing super food. But yeah, yesterday, as a matter of fact, I went to a Veterans Business Outreach Center near UH Manoa and got my LLC. So I am now the kimchi queen. I'm super excited. And we'll be coming to Market Stream, but I want to share this with everybody. It's such an amazing food product. And I want to start resourcing local food source and produce here and share that love from my mother through me to all of you. I'm going to produce kimchi. There's money to be made in kimchi, Helen. I make four different kinds, and it's really pretty, pretty tasty, but I'm pretty excited about that. So let's talk a little bit about mental health. You know, the VA has put out that there's 22 that produce a day. Not a year, a day. That's possible, because I utilize the VA services, and I know about all the wonderful mental health that they have here. So I don't understand the disconnection they're facing when they think that they can't utilize the service or they don't, or what the issue is. I want to encourage everybody to utilize any services that help you, because people want to talk about physical health all day long, but when it comes down to how everybody should take care of the client. You know, there's a public misconception out there about, when you say, you have mental health, you have PTSD or you have PTSD, you know, I'd likely, you know, I want to wear a shirt that says, you're lucky I'm on my meds, because I swear if I wasn't half the time, right, no, just kidding. But the veteran community gets a bad rabbi feel, because of the stigma with the public, whenever there's a shooting, they automatically go to Army Veteran, Marine Veteran, they harp on that much more. PTSD. Yeah, well, I'm wondering the 22 per day, that's really a shocking number. That's a lot of people killing themselves. And is that, is that, is that PTSD, is that people who have been in a war theater, or is that just retirees from many years ago? No. Or is it all across the board? All across the board. A lot of times what I, when I've worked with veterans that have gone to deployment, they come back, their family is no longer the longer the, normally their bank accounts are taken away, right? Because of whatever wives they, husband, they, because these, or men and women that sort of, have multiple people. And so, unless you have a relationship, things crumble and, this is me on a good day. On a very, very bad day, I get an open stay up. In my head, three days, in reality, when you don't bathe, and I had to be built for the job. I had to brush teeth, dower, and I bet it, and take meds, that was really important to me. Because when I'm non-confronted on medications, my VA doctors provide for me, things go downhill, so I have to be honest about what's going on. I have to take what they give me, right? And then utilize the other services, with the help. I had an amazing program with that, the impact, the chance to make an empowerment of the public. So when I came here, I was a hot mess today. I was going through another divorce, starting all over again. Visiting, I looked great, but emotionally it was just strange. I ended up at the 3-2 out-precipitation at Tripple, and that's VA-1. And then I graduated from that and went on to St. Patrick's. I graduated from that, and now I have all these resources I'm using, and I look at it like this. I used to pick fire, just me and the fire, right? And now I have a suit of armor on, that's all the training I've gotten, that's all the sports I've gotten, I can put that fire, I've got a glove on, I've got a fire suit, I can do that. What made you do that? A lot of it started early on childhood. I never really talked about my childhood. I didn't talk a lot about it, because my childhood was so crazy and stupid. My parents are now a big piece, I like to open, but my mother's discrimination, not to raise, very unhappy, a lot about and I came here to talk. I had a therapist that understood me, that understood the Asian culture, that didn't judge me, and taught me to talk. And I started talking about even my military promise that I came up with. Never to ever. I mean, I told the man, or you think he was talking about the health. I love and a big you know, because for me, I don't need another for my physical and I think well, and it just makes me very different. You imagine how are you? And that was me on those medications. I'd be afraid. I know, right? I don't do well on those. So I needed some. And what I found here is that you're an expert. You're an expert of you. And if you don't want to take care of yourself, they'll help you try another method. And mine was proper. And I got into art therapy. I love art therapy. What kind of art therapy? Any kind. The one rule is no judgment. Which is great because my mother was an artist. And I could hear her voice in my head. You don't draw right. I'm better than you. All these things, right? And now I can do whatever. And it's like, oh, look at that. That's prettier. That's for me. That's how I feel. And some of it's dark. Because that's what I'm thinking. They even have this great thing that I keep with me in a day planner with different faces and what the emotional memories are for those faces. So I can go up to someone and go, this is what I'm feeling. It's a self-diagnosis self in the matrix. And so what about pills? What about medicine? I don't take mental health. No need. Not for me. Because I use talk therapy. So that's been the biggest gift of VA's ever given. The gift of talk therapy. With whom? The VA providers. What is a provider? Is that a psychologist? I have a psychologist. I have a psychiatrist if I need medication. And once in a blue moon, I have insomnia and sleep deprivation. They might prescribe me something to sleep with when I start getting really too tense. Or if I have tremendous anxiety. But I don't do like 30 days. It's not like that. It's like 5 days. Because I used to be like some of these airplanes that would just, ah, you know, now it's just kind of like, oh, that's an air pocket. Okay, let's get back on track. Self-awareness. Self-awareness. Absolutely. And appreciating and understanding your body, your needs, reaching out for help to people you trust and build relationships with. And then just doing your thing and making yourself happy. What is it for value that makes you happy? I found out recently, you know, I'm happy making kimchi. So I'm going to do kimchi for the next month. Well, it's creative. It's very creative. And healthy. And that's how I share love through food. So that's, I'm going to share lots of love on the island. Wow. So, okay, so where is it going? What's the dynamic? In other words, you're better now than you were before. You feel that you have reached, you know, your optimal mental condition, or is there more work to be done? Always more work. Always more work. Because the last few years, I focused on certain aspects. I would like to go a lot deeper into the knowledge that I would like to go deeper into the PCSB aspect, learn better state types. Just really, I'm at a place now where I'm safe enough and comfortable enough with my private life. And they have one of the programs here. They see a lot of people who don't know in California for a long time. So, who knows what the future holds, but I'm willing to take that next step. And like I said, go up to that fire with my fire safe, bring it, because it can't hurt you. What sort of things do you think you need to avoid, you know, to have a recurrence of the problems you had before? Sure. The question's the big, it's the easiest to get back into anxiety and depression. Once those go, everything goes. I think for me, is no isolation. I have all my friends, Facebook, everybody. If you don't care for me in three days, if I don't post anything, something's wrong. You need to confide me or check on me or something. If I don't shut up at Nashville in a week, something's wrong. So I've got these little things going with everybody around me. And like, for instance, if I'm in a quick situation and I get anxiety right away, I have people saying that everybody knows. They feel like a cold drink, and they give me a cold drink, because it's holding it around me to be in the mindful moment. And I learned mindfulness is not just... It's very cool for me. What I've learned that works for me. Literally cool. Very cool, right? And I've also learned that mindfulness isn't just no. Mindfulness to me is a two-line dance. That's why I like it. It's a double win for me. I get to focus. I don't even know who's talking to me, because I'm focused on myself. It's very nearest. I get to look at them. I mean, it's a bonus. But I focus on what I'm doing. I take myself away from whatever I'm thinking, and just for a couple hours, focus on them. So it's a mostly... So all of this is working out fine. Do you foresee going to a provider for the rest of your life? Do you foresee having the same kind of mental priority experience, whatever you do to become clear for the rest of your life? I think I will always... Because the minute I click on me, I think it will easily revert to old habits. For me, it's ongoing. It's like, for me, I feel pretty about my mental health care for me, talk therapy. It's like that. It just gives me a boost. It reminds me of who I am, what I'm about, where I want to go. Identity. Yeah. So what about the PTSD pod? Did you have an experience in the service that led to PTSD? Oh, I had lost. And unfortunately... Were you in an award theater? No, I was not. I'm not a combat vet, which everybody thinks... They can't imagine me in the military at all, but I'm 100% disabled, and I tell people all the time, I'm 100% up for the reason. So on bad days, it's really bad. On good days, it's really bad. There's a very little middle ground. It's all or none with me. But I had some experiences, and we'll gladly share them with anybody that wants to contact me. They can absolutely contact me at the station, and I'll get back to them and give them some guidance on the resources available to them. But I think one of the things I wanted to share before we ended our story was crisis management. I have reached out to crisis management. I haven't seen it. So my brain is a react-play going all the time. I write things down and still more things pop up, and I feel like I can't sleep, and instead of picking up a sleeping pill, it's all crisis management. And you don't have to be suicidal. You don't have to be homopsyched, but those are the first few things they want to know just to give you heads up. If you say, I'm not either of these, I'm just in crisis because of this, then they can work with you. They're always on the side. And the gift is they are 24-7. You don't know this person. They don't know you. It's lovely because a lot of times, you know, family members, I can't ask them, I did everything that, you know, I don't want to worry them or, you know, whatever. And my friends, I don't want to burden, but I can talk to crisis management all day. I can text them if I can't get a place where I can pick up a phone, I'll text them. And that's a conversation with them. Interacting with another human being who's a fair witness. Absolutely. And people who are too close to you sometimes they cannot be fair witness. Absolutely. And people that have history with you, you know, it's just sometimes wonky and with you. With me, right. And so having this crisis on, you just hit the number. We're going to show it up on the screen, but you just hit the number and it's wonderful. You hit one, but anybody, anybody, you don't have to be a veteran. Veteran is option one. But if you are a caregiver, if you're a civilian, please, I really want the message out there is, yes, work on your relationship. Yes, absolutely. Work on your relationship. Absolutely. Because that's the most important thing. Because when we go, it ain't about job, money, or any of that. It's, man, I wish I had set more time for the relationship. All about relationships. All about relationships. But in the end, work on your message. You deserve it. You deserve to work on your relationship. Don't be afraid. I've said 50 years being afraid of history. And that led to a life. It's all been avoided. And I just talked in an early age. So when you walk down the street and you feel a little bound, what do you do? I start smiling at people. I do because they smile back. I have this crazy trick. Is that interaction? Yeah. I like people, right? They smile and they smile back. So that's pretty much what I do. Good to know. Dave, thank you. You've been such a tremendous support. And being on this show has truly helped me build my confidence level up and just get to meet wonderful people like Wendy Lowe and Cal Griffin and all your other hosts. It's been such a joy being a host on this show. Yeah, that's why I say I'm your ardent admirer. We got to wrap this up, Dave. Thank you again for being on this show with me. Aloha. Okay, we are out of time and we'll have to wrap it up. I'm Helen Dora Haydn, guest host on Taking Your Health Back on the ThinkTech Live Streaming Network series. It's been great pleasure filling in for our favorite Wendy Lowe. It's been so much fun sharing my journey on how I took my health back. Thank you again, all of you, for being here. Thanks to our broadcast engineer Ray, our floor manager, Cindy, and to J. Fidel, our executive producer, who took it all together. Thank you, our listeners, for listening. If you want to get on our e-mail and social media program advisories, click the link on thinktec-coy-e.com. If you'd like to be a guest, underwriter, or volunteer, or if you want to join us in our downtown studio plaza in Plain Air Plaza, contact Dave at thinktec-coy-e.com. If you want the links to our live streams or our previous broadcasts on newsstream.tv or youtube.com, just go to thinktec-coy-e.com. Go there and to our Facebook page and tell them that you like us. We would love for you to like us. And of course, we'll see you next time. We're taking my health back with our host, Wendy Lowe. Come out to Nashville, Spiky Pee and Aloha Tower and practice the mindfulness and lion dance with me and Wendy. Yes, Wendy lion dances. Stay healthy, my friends. Mahalo and Aloha.