 Colgate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stomp tooth decay and Bluster cream shampoo for soft glamorous caressable hair bring you our miss brook starring Eve Arden Well last Friday fell on the 13th of the month a day of caution for the superstitious But to our miss brooks who teaches English at Madison High School. It didn't mean a thing No, indeed even when my landlady told me at breakfast that our cat Minerva came home with two black kittens I just laughed and said Mrs. Davis. No They've just had our last drop of milk, but Minerva and I were always so friendly. She didn't say a word to me about this All the kittens aren't Minerva's I don't know where they belong All I know is that we can't afford to keep them it would mean two more mouths You're right, Mrs. Davis. We've got enough trouble feeding the mouths. We've got Say I've got an idea we could leave them in the snog grass pet shop until we located the owners Spetcher's father has all sorts of things in his place. That's true. He even has stretch Good old stretch that boy certainly is a fine athlete. Yes. He is now if there was only some way We could find to exercise his brain Don't worry about the kittens, Mrs. Davis I'll have Walter Denton drop them off at the pet shop on our way to school this morning good And one more thing Connie would you deliver this jar to mr. Conklin when you get to school certainly Mrs. Davis What have you cooked up for our beloved principal? It's a secret concoction Connie my own recipe It never fails good. How long does it take to work and will they find out what's in it at the autopsy? It's just a remedy for hiccups Connie it contains nothing but juniper juice oil of cloves a dash of vinegar some vanilla extract A spoonful of baking soda. Tell me the rest after breakfast Well, that's about all there is to it, but it's very good Mrs. Conklin says it's just a nervous reaction. She called last night and told me he got the hiccups yesterday Just a few minutes after he found out that the superintendent of schools Is visiting him this afternoon mr. Michaels. Why should he give mr. Conklin the hiccups? Well, there's a new term starting in february and it seems that mr. Michaels wants to chat with osgood about the way he's running Madison You mean if mr. Michaels finds fault with something there's a chance that mr. Conklin may not be Oh now cut it out Connie you're too old to live in a dream world Oh That's walter den come in walter I'd better go into the kitchen. I've got to clean those dishes I used for the kitten's milk Why don't you let minerva do the dishes they're her friends Hi mr. Brooks did I hear mrs. Davis mention kittens? Just some trench in the quaintances walter. We're going to drop them off at stretch's pet shop on the way to school Oh swell stretch will get a big kick out of him. He loves animals all kinds of animals I know you've been friends for years haven't you I hope you're not superstitious walter, but these are both black cats and today is friday the 13th Oh, that doesn't bother me miss brooks This is going to be a red letter day in my memory the day when the results of careful planning should be brought to fruition translation Well, you've heard of cure that habit incorporated, haven't you you mean the outfit that helps people overcome alcoholism? Yes, ma'am. They got a big ad in the papers You know, perhaps you or someone near and dear to you was a victim of this dread disease Send for our instructive literature telling how you two can be cured. Well day before yesterday, I sent for it You walter, I always thought you were strictly a two coca day, man Oh, I didn't sign my name and address to the request I printed the name of someone very near and dear to me who I was good conchlin The walter mr. Conchlin doesn't drink why even on new year's eve. He just had fruit punch His proudest boast is that he's a teetotaler. Well, that's a humor of it when he gets all this stuff in the mail He'll think that somebody somewhere doesn't believe that he doesn't drink that thought alone should turn him purple Probably be quite a picturesque spectacle, but I still don't think it's right walter Does harriet know about this rib? Of course not. She's his daughter. She likes mr. Conchlin Oh Well, she's bright in other ways Now come on walter. We've got to get started for school if we're going to drop those kittens off Okay, miss brooks. Oh, uh one thing before we go everything. I've told you today is strictly confidential But not that I'm asking for an oath of secrecy or anything I know that I couldn't possibly feel the admiration and respect for you that I do feel if I thought you'd rat on me I mean betray my confidence about this joke and I'm full Well, don't worry walter. Your secret is safe with me. Miss brooks. That statement makes me feel warm all over Really? Sure in a dangerous practical joke like this. It's great to know that somebody else is in it with you up to her ears Sorry to have kept you waiting mr. Chalmers. What can I do for you? Well, mr. Michaels as superintendent of schools, you're equated no doubt with the principal of madison high school Oh, yes, that's us good counten. Matter of fact, I'm going to see him this afternoon Then I'd very much like to go with you. You see mr. Michaels My son attends madison high and I'm very anxious to find out the meaning of this postcard which arrived at my office this morning Postcard? Yes, sir. Uh, I'll read it to you. It's Addressed to cure that habit incorporated. That's my firm mr. Michaels and it says, uh Kindly send me all your literature. I am determined once and for all to rid myself of the curse of alcoholism It's signed as good conclin Here we are miss brooks dear old madison high I should have known that this nod grass pet shop doesn't open until nine What in the world are we going to do with these kittens walter? Gosh, I don't know miss brooks. Mr. Conklin's awfully strict about pets in the building The only animals allowed are in mr. Boynton's lab Oh say we could keep him in there until lunch period That's right. Then stretch could take them over to his dad's shop. Come on walter. Let's take them in Wait a minute. Where are the kittens? I got them in my sweater pocket. See? Here's one And uh, here's the other one So much for maxine and laverne Look hello patty. I mean harriet Hi harriet. Well, I gotta run now. I'll talk to you later. Okay walter How does your dad feel harriet? Are the hiccups gone? Yes miss brooks. They disappeared about an hour ago But I'm afraid it isn't permanent every time something unpleasant happens. It brings them on again Well, maybe this remedy that mrs. Davis sent down will be of some help. I better take it into him right now All right miss brooks. See you in class It's me mr. Conklin. Oh miss brooks They're back. Who's back? Does that answer your question? Maybe you should see a doctor mr. Conklin saw a doctor yesterday Told me to relax and they go away relax What's in that jar you've got there it's a hiccup cure that mrs. Davis asked me to give you she made it herself What's in it nothing but juniper juice oil of cloves a dash of vinegar some vanilla extract and baking soda I'd rather have the hiccup Mr. Conklin, if you haven't got anything else handy, maybe you ought to try some of mrs. Davis's remedy Well, I might take just one swallow of the stuff give it here uh Well, mr. Conklin, what does it taste like? Well, it tastes like big up Like like big up Like what's the difference as long as it does the job Starring eve arden will continue in just a moment, but first Here is verne smith. 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Davis's hiccup remedy I returned to my classroom and wiled away the hours before lunch by teaching a bit of english Promptly at noon. I found myself by the amazing coincidence, which occurs daily at mr. Boynton's biology lab Come in Oh, it's you miss Brooks. I'm glad you dropped in very glad indeed honestly, mr. Boynton I should say so you've got to get these cats out of here So don't worry about that Walter Denton has asked stretch to pick them up and take them to the snodgrass pet shop Oh, good. Where are they mr. Barnett? Well, I had to keep them over here in a separate cage away from the white mice. They uh, they were pretty upset Cats do that to mice as a rule Well, here they are This one loves to be petted So does this one for that matter? Oh, excuse me miss Brooks. I didn't mean to interrupt. Oh, that's all right stretch Oh, I don't mind waiting if you want to finish your song No, thanks. I don't know the rest of the words Are these the cats Walter wants me to take down to the shop? Oh, that's right stretch. You think you can handle them all right Oh, sure. I love animals gosh. I think animals are smarter than a lot of people of whom I'm acquainted with I know they're smarter than some people of whom I'm acquainted with Before I take the cats mr. Boynton, I'd like to talk to you about a swap You got a bullfrog in here. I'd like to show my dad Well, you don't mean my pet mcdougal. Oh, no, sir. I know you wouldn't let mac out of your sight I mean this big fella over here. Oh, boy. I have big fella See, he knows me say more fella He certainly talks your language We have mr. Boynton. I'll give you clearance clearance. I got him right here in my pocket There he is Don't be scared. He's perfectly harmless. Isn't he mr. Boynton? Oh, yes, of course. It's completely non poisonous, miss Brooks This little creature's a milk snake. That's right. Miss Brooks. Just a little old milk snake must take a pretty shallow bucket He couldn't possibly hurt anyone miss Brooks. He's just a baby. That doesn't prove anything when I was a baby I bit people all the time Take him away stretch, please. Well, yes stretch you keep the snake and take the frog along too Gee, thanks, mr. Boynton. I'll take off a good care of them. Don't forget the kitten stretch Well, I won't let's see now. That's a good thing. I wore my sport jacket today I can put the kittens in the side pockets the frog in an inside pocket and clearance in my breast pocket Too bad. You're not a kangaroo. You could give me a lift to the cafeteria Oh, I'm not going to the cafeteria I got to go to the principal's office and clean it up. Mr. Conklin's expecting some high brass down You mean the chandeliers loose? No, ma'am the superintendent of schools is coming here and that reminds me Mr. Conklin says that you should inspect his office as soon as I get through and see that everything's spick and span Me? That's right, mr. Brooks. Well, I better get going. Thanks for the keen fraud, mr. Boynton Oh, you're welcome stretch. See you in a little while, mr. Brooks Oh, that's just dandy now. I won't be able to accept your charming invitation to lunch, mr. Boynton What invitation? Oh, you mean to lunch or Gee, mr. Brooks, maybe you could have a quick lunch with me and then inspect mr. Conklin's office I hate to disappoint you mr. Boynton, but that's just what I'm going to do Mr. Conklin's office looks neat as a pin. Don't you think so, miss Brooks? Let's see. Yes, it looks very nice stretch Mr. Conklin should be very pleased when he gets back from lunch. Well, I hope so No, I'll put my jacket back on and get these animals back to the Hey, wait a minute. They're gone. Who's gone? Everybody I'll kill these the frog and the snake. They must have crawled out of my pockets when I put my jacket down Oh, no Well, they must be in the office somewhere. We've got to find them before Well, let's see how the place looks mr. Conklin. Ah, you've done a very nice job stretch Well, thanks, mr. Conklin, but you can run along now. Miss Brooks, you will stay here and help me find some papers Yes, sir. But mr. Conklin, I've already thanked you snodgrass. Now go Now then, miss Brooks, I've been trying to locate the semi-annual report I made to the board of education six months ago when you kindly look in the top drawer of my desk while I try the closet here Very well, mr. Conklin It's not in there I saw enough It must be in this drawer. Let me look for myself You were right miss Brooks Nothing in there, but a cat Well, maybe it's in this other drawer No, just another cat Well, in that case, I'll simply have Just another cat They're looking for the report too Straight in through an open window, mr. Conklin. I'll have them removed at once. Well, see that you do but first go look in my filing cabinet Yes, sir. Uh, look under letter B. Yes, sir What are you doing in here? You should be filed under F. Conklin. Well, it must be somewhere. Let me look Oh, what's in this badge? Uh, it's a one letter from boys town my beaver patrol badge One communication from the board One frog An invitation to the elk's barbecue another notice of a board meeting a letter from One frog. Yes, he's jumping all over the place. What will I do miss Brooks? Why don't you hit him with the snake that's crawling on your coat lapel? That's a good idea. I'll just take this snake and then I'll take this snake What's going on here miss Brooks look look this mark on my hand that snake bit me I'm high over mr. Conklin. I've got to be inoculated quick. Take me to the first aid room Relax for a minute. Mr. Conklin. I'll be right back as you say miss Brooks If I am miss Brooks, I got all the animals out of mr. Conklin's office good for a while there He thought the snake bit him, but I've convinced mr. Conklin that the mark on his hand is just a bruise In fact, I was looking for some rubbing alcohol, but they seem to be out of it in first aid I'll get you some over at the gym, but first I'd like to cheer mr. Conklin up a bit Oh, yeah, mr. Conklin. Let's see your hand there all black and blue That ain't nothing at all. Mr. Conklin the skin ain't even broke. You got nothing to worry about Thank you doctor Now that There they are again Oh, don't worry about them mr. Conklin. I didn't expect you'd be concerned miss Brooks Well, frankly after hearing nothing but mouse and all day it's a leak to hear Well, I know a sure cure for hiccups mr. Conklin I'll just sit back in that swivel chair for a minute. I am sitting back Well, now the idea is to start spinning you around slowly. Yeah, straight stop that but never fail Straight you mustn't spin mr. Conklin like that. I know we gotta spin him faster Oh, no straight Oh There who are these girls who just came in I was waiting for you in your office. Oh, oh, thank you Harriet. Just get up to who? Oh, I can hardly stand. I'm so dizzy. Maybe you want to spin around the other way for a while Well, let me help you mr. Conklin. I'll deal with you later boy Meanwhile miss Brooks you go ahead and tell mr. Michaels. I'll be right there I'll lean on Harriet and stretch until I feel a little stronger So you see mr. Michaels I certainly wouldn't want my boy in a school run by someone who had to come to my firm for assistance I'm sure there must be some mistake mr. Chalmers. I've known us good conklin for a good many years and whatever else he may be He's not the drinking man Good day gentlemen. I'm miss Brooks. Mr. Conklin will be here in a minute. I'm mr. Michael's miss Brooks And this is mr. Chalmers. How do you do? How do you do? Tell me miss Brooks? How is mr. Conklin feeling these days feeling? No, just fine. He's never been better. Good You see mr. Chalmers. I'm sure that one look at mr. Conklin will convince you that he's not the diaper person Who sends postcards to cure that habit incorporated. Hello, mr. Michael. Sorry. I'm late There you go Can help you up mr. Conklin? I uh must have tripped mr. Michaels and who are these gentlemen with you? These gentlemen are mr. Chalmers shake hands with the one in the middle Pleasure to know you mr. Chalmers don't look now, but that's mr. Michael. Here's mr. Chalmers. Oh, of course Glad to shake your hand mr. Chalmers. You're shaking his umbrella What seems to be the matter mr. Conklin having trouble with your vision. Yes. Yes, that's it. I broke my glasses this morning Well, I'll get over here sit down at my desk Michael's looking in the stagger incredible Miss Brooks you said mr. Conklin never felt better. That's right. You should have seen him an hour ago Boy what hiccups Hiccups. Yes. Yes. I always get them when I'm startled and uh, what may I ask startled you? He opened his desk drawer this morning and saw a cat in it Tell me mr. Conklin in which drawer did you uh see the cat? Well, the first cat I saw was in this drawer In this drawer mr. Conklin. No, no, there's another cat in there It was the one in here that startled me Uh, would you mind showing us your cats mr. Conklin? Not at all. They're right here in these drawers Uh, why they're gone They uh, they come and they go mr. Conklin miss miss Brooks. Where are the cats? They disappeared right after I took you to first aid, but he really did see them gentlemen Indeed the next thing you'll be trying to tell us is that he found a bullfrog in his filing cabinet How did you know? Bullfrog too there must be some error here. Yes, he was filed under b instead of f Oh, mr. Michaels, do you believe me now? I'm afraid I do mr. Chandler's Compton, I don't want to seem unnecessarily cruel But if you want to stay on as printable of this, pardon me folks. Oh, here's your alcohol mr. Conklin I'll take it Miss Brooks that alcohol is for mr. Compton. Yes, it's for where the snake bit him Yes, of course, it really didn't bite him. He just thought it did Oh So you saw snake too mr. Conklin. Yes. Yes, I did right on my lapel Although I'm told He's not poisonous snakes still give me an extremely unpleasant feeling I assure you that if I ever see him again, uh, wait a minute. There he is under your chair, mr. Charmers. Look out. I'll get him, mr I'll get him There good for you, mr. Conklin. You have just killed mr. Charmers umbrella Out of here. This man is dangerous. I'll go with you mr. Charmers as for you mr. Conklin I'll talk to you again when you're sober Sober mr. Charmers here is the head of cure that habit incorporated Oh, no, this card he received yesterday will explain why he called on me this morning. Good day Sure, this habit incorporated. What does that got to do with me? Ms. Brooks read this card for me. It says kindly send me all your literature I am determined once and for all to rid myself of the curse of alcoholism And it's signed us good conklin poor soul Any man who has to resort to writing in You didn't write this postcard because I know who did But it was only a little friday the 13th joke and I'm honor bound not to mention who did it. Oh, you are Well, mr. Brooks, such loyalty is worthy of a better fate than the one under which you are about to crumble You see you and I have traveled the road of learning together for some time now It hasn't always been a smooth road, but it's been our road, mr. Brooks Now, do you know what's in store for you? I believe I do mr. Conklin pass me the rubbing alcohol The rubbing alcohol. Yes. I might as well have one for the road Ms. Brooks returns in just a moment, but first dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream Girl tonight. Yes tonight show him how much lovelier your hair can look after a luster cream shampoo Luster cream world's finest shampoo No other shampoo in the world gives k-doom. It's magic blend of secret ingredients plus gentle aniline Not a soap not a liquid luster cream shampoo leaves hair three ways lovelier Fragrantly clean free of loose dandruff Blistening with sheen soft manageable even in hardest water luster cream lathers instantly No special rinse needed after a luster cream shampoo So gentle luster cream is wonderful even for children's hair tonight. Yes tonight try luster cream shampoo Dream girl dream girl beautiful luster cream girl You owe your crowning glory to A luster cream shampoo And now once again here is our miss Brooks Well much to my surprise mr. Conklin didn't dismiss me on the spot But he did insist that I report to his office immediately after school on my arrival He told me we were going down to mr. Michael's office immediately But mr. Conklin, what good will that do if you won't tell me Who sent that card in perhaps you'll tell the superintendent of schools Now wait right where you are miss Brooks. I'm going to get my hat and coat out of the club. Yes, mr. Conklin Hi, you miss Brooks. Gee. I'm glad mr. Conklin's not here. Walter wait a minute. Yes Here's an ad for another one of those liquor cures. I'm going to sign his name, too Boy, I wish I could see his face when he finds out about this one. I'll bet he'll be positively purple I've heard for it. Oh marble head will turn all the colors of the rainbow What should I do now? There's only one thing you can do Plead insanity Please turn into another hour miss Brooks y'all brought to you by luster green shampoo for soft glamour Seresible hair and polegate dental cream to clean your breath while you clean your teeth and help stop tooth decay Hour miss Brooks starring evard and is produced by larry burns directed by al louis with music by wilbur hatch Mr. Boynton is played by jeff chandler. Mr. Conklin by gale gordon Others in tonight's cast were jane morgan dick crena gloria mcmillan bill lally lennard smith and francis x bushman For a beauty bath that brings you glamour from head to toe get bath size palm olive soap Yes, lady ladies for a velvet smooth beauty lather that corrects your skin Leaves your whole body glowing with the warm blush of fragrant loveliness Enjoy your beauty bath with bath size palm olive. It's perfect for your tub or shower Just the gentlest massage over your body creates a glorious lather that leaves your skin delightful Yes, for the most luxurious bath you've ever had get big bath size palm olive soap For mystery liberally sprinkled with labs listen to mr. and mrs. North Tuesday evening over most of these stations and be with us again at the same time next week for another comedy episode of our Miss Brooks bobleman speaking