 Hi, everyone. My name is Meera. Before I begin, I'd just like to say that I'm in the middle of my college exams right now, hence the diet eyes and the un-champoed hair. I made this presentation at 3 a.m. last night and I was of course highly caffeinated. So yeah, please just cut me some slack. I wasn't even sure if I was going to give this presentation or this talk, but I know that I gained a lot from my experience here at Fedora and I wanted to share that with other people. I know it's quite early for some of you, so I'm very grateful for everyone who is here. Okay, so name covered, okay, former Outreachy intern. So I became a part of Fedora throughout 3G this summer. I was an intern with the design team and I worked on improving and creating designs for Fedora's initiatives and events. So I'm just going to show some of the stuff that I worked on during my internship. So I made this budget template and these infographics. This is actually for the DNIT. This is my favorite one. And there's also mention of Fedora women's day here. I started working on the Zine. So this was a cover concept and a couple of artworks. And this is actually a project I think for the winter cohort of Outreachy. So that's exciting. And just some other stuff that I worked on along the way. I also gave a talk and I held a workshop on Fedora badges during NEST 2020. So I took Marie's badges design workshop and I gave a talk on the basics of Inkscape and did a little demo. So that was really fun. And it's actually on YouTube right now on Fedora's official channel. So if anyone wants to see, they can go right ahead. So if I want to talk about my biggest accomplishment here at Fedora, it's actually an invisible one. And I don't think a lot of people know about this. But it was overcoming imposter syndrome. Sort of overcoming imposter syndrome. So to give you guys a little bit of background, a couple of years ago, I decided to pursue the engineering track. And from that moment onwards, I received a lot of friction from the people around me, my friends, my family, the community. People would tell me that I was not meant for this and I should pick something easier, something that is more fitting for a woman. I, of course, ignored all of this. And then I got into a really good engineering college. But by that time, I had heard that I wasn't worthy or I wasn't good enough so many times that I'd actually started to believe it. And so when I got into my college, I felt like I wasn't worthy of this opportunity, because that's all I had been told. I was patronized. I faced blatant sexism, harassment, microaggressions, mansplaining. Everything a woman or a minority in this time field is subjective. And all of this sort of contributed to my imposter syndrome. And I started to feel like I was a fraud. I was an imposter. And to overcome that, and as a result, I started to work more because I wanted to prove that I was worthy of the opportunities that I was getting. And you know that I'm actually smart enough to do this. I actually can do more than you guys give me credit for. So around the same time, I started my own business. I am very good at making stuff like painting crafts. And I had an Instagram page that I turned into a very profitable business. I was also approached by a company. I was also approached by company that was in a similar field. And I actually worked part-time as the Creative Director. I participated in various clubs in my college in various event organizing teams. I took workshop. I headed my college's art club. I volunteered. I was trying to get good grades and somewhat accomplishing that. And I did everything I could. But it still wasn't enough. I still felt like I wasn't working enough or that I didn't actually know anything. And I was just faking my way through everything. I felt like an imposter. I never realized why I overworked so much until I actually read about imposter syndrome or IS. And I realized that I identify with all the symptoms of IS. Also, one more thing that contributed to my imposter syndrome was that failure was not an option for me. For ethnic or gender minorities in a field like STEM, failure is a very critical thing. You can't afford to fail because if I fail, then it's not Smira who isn't fit for this field. It's a woman. I will be reduced to my gender and I will be used as an example or as a cautionary tale for other women or other people of color who are trying to enter this field. And so I had this added responsibility of being a woman, a female engineer or a person of color in this field. And when I actually applied for the outreach internship, there is a contribution period. And I worked really hard. I used to stay up all night. I actually flipped my schedule completely because I wanted to integrate myself in the community better. I used to attend the social hours and I was at like 4 a.m. in the morning for me. So I used to go like I used to attend the social art and work more on my contributions, go to sleep, then wake up in time for college and then do it all over again every day for weeks. And when I actually got selected for this internship, I was really happy but my first thought was why? Why was I selected? There were obviously people who were way more deserving than me and I don't actually do good work. I don't think I am that good a designer that I can actually be selected for a design internship. I forgot and neglected all the hard work that I had put in and I felt like a fraud and an imposter. So yeah, I don't know if Marie knows this. After this she will, but so we used to have these meetings. Marie was my mentor and we used to have these weekly meetings where she would discuss and give me feedback on my work and whatever I had done the previous week. And I used to be so scared before every meeting. I used to sit right here and I used to be shaking like anything. I used to be so nervous because I felt okay, this is the meeting that she's going to call me out. She's going to discover that I'm actually a fraud. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not working enough. And this is the meeting that she's going to drop me as an intern. And that was a very bad experience for me. But every meeting without fail, Marie used to tell me that I was doing an amazing job. For three months every meeting, she used to appreciate my work. And that helped me start this journey of overcoming IS. Because when someone tells you for three months that you're doing an amazing job, you tend to start believing them. It was not instantaneous, but there was a brief period where I actually started thinking, am I doing a good job really? And I started to think maybe I am. And then whenever any of my work would be displayed or posted in a public forum, like the community blog or a telegram group, people from the community would show their appreciation and compliment my work. And that would help me because some person across the globe who has never even met me is actually telling me that I'm doing a good job. So I think I might be doing a good job. And so that is how the community, my mentor, Marie, and the community, Fedora community helped me start my journey of overcoming IS. People don't realize, I didn't realize actually that my confidence had been destroyed completely because of IS. And until I recognized and acknowledged that, yes, I am going through this thing where this voice inside my head is telling me that I'm not doing a good enough job. But I have to be stronger than that voice. It's actually not the truth. I have to actively, I still do, I have to tell myself because my natural instinct is to just be like, I don't know this. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm a fraud. I shouldn't be here. And I have to actively counter that. IS affects your confidence so much. For such a long time, I actually believed that I was not worthy of the opportunities I was getting. And it affected how I saw myself and it affected how I presented myself to other people, to prospective employers. I saw myself as someone who had loved their way or fluked their way into an amazing place like Fedora. And it's not that I'm completely over this. Like for example, I'm looking for design internships for next year. And I look at all these amazing opportunities, these listings. And my first thought is, why would they ever take me? Why would they ever pick someone like me? I don't know what I'm doing. There are way more people who are way more qualified than me out there who would be deserving and who would actually be picked for this show or for this internship. And so that is for me the next step in overcoming IS. It is being confident enough to present myself as a capable and worthy candidate. And I'm going to take that step right now. So this is how I'm going to see myself and how I'm going to present myself. So if you or anyone you know is looking for a proficient designer with an amazing work ethic, excellent design skills, and a great aesthetic sense, then I'm the person for the job. So it took me a really long time to believe that, but I think I do now. So thank you. Okay, so that's the end. I'm going to stop presenting. That was a little tough, but yeah, I got through. Okay, let me just go through the comments. Hi, you almost had me in tears over here. Honestly, it was really, it was really touching to hear that story. And you know, I didn't know that you were that nervous before me. But I always, I always had a sense from you that, you know, that verbal affirmation was something that would be helpful for you. So yeah, yeah, and verbal affirmation is a great way to build up even just our peers. Yeah, exactly. You know, appreciating people for the good work that they do. And I think we do a really good job of that. And for the other we try. Yes. Yes. So I'm glad that you found this community. I'm so glad that you found this community. And internship is great. I just want to say that Samara did amazing work. She had, she did have an amazing work ethic, and worked really, really well with the community. I mean, you just, you were like, Oh, there's your friends and people here. I want to be a part of this. So wish we could have had flock this year and brought you out to meet everybody in person. But I think that'll be like next year or whatever. So I guess currently, I just want to ask you a couple of questions. So currently, what, what do you do with Fedora? So I'm a member of the design team. And so I, my, what I do is I'll complete the design tickets, I give reviews, and currently I'm kind of busy because of my exams. So I can, I can't give so much time. But I try to look at the tickets, see if any, if there's anything that I can do really quickly. Recently, I designed the poster for the Fedora Hacktoberfest presentation and gave some reviews. So that was fun. Nice. That's awesome. And what do you, what do you go to school for? Oh, so I am actually pursuing both computer science and design. So I'm pursuing an engineering degree in computer science and design. So yeah, it's like the best of both worlds, you could say. That's a lot though. That's a lot to take on. Yeah. Yeah, I'm always impressed. And I'm hearing about the other stuff you've done and taken on. So impressed with all of that. I went to just tell you something. Even if you did have that, you would still be worthy of appreciation and love. Yeah. So you, you, you're, you're a worthy person. And I know that I know about imposter syndrome. I've been there and like coming into Fedora space was, as a designer, isn't very difficult. You know, I remember going to a first conference and every single conversation I was like circle, I was standing and I didn't understand what they were talking about at first. But at the same time, they all knew who I was. They were like, you're a recantor, you've made all this artwork. Oh my gosh, I can never do that. You're so talented. But you know, like, I got credit for that work that I did. And that, that satisfaction, that like, you know, professional kind of satisfaction is definitely the thing that Fedora can give and help build, build the confidence. Yeah, I remember. Oh, go ahead. Yeah. So I remember during Nest 2020, during Matthew's keynote presentation, I actually saw a couple of my designs in his presentation. And I was so shocked. And it made me really happy that that kind that that was really impactful because I know it sounds silly. I took screenshots also showed them to my parents because I was so happy. But it sort of made me feel like, okay, so my designs are good enough, my work is good enough to be featured in the FPL's keynote presentation. So I must be doing something right. Like, I am actually good enough. So yeah, professional appreciation is great. Yeah, definitely. I've been in jobs where I was micro managed or, you know, even though I did the good work, the amount of appreciation was little to none. And that was it wears on you, you know, and I think it's more in the environment, professional and the community like this, definitely. So we have a script, if you would like to participate. I will go. Okay, cool. Let me go grab it. And copy and paste into the chat. What language will you be speaking? Can be. I'm not gonna lie. I practiced a little bit. I saw this script in the in the in yesterday's presentation. Okay, I need to practice. Perfect. So then you can look right at the camera. Hopefully. For like a couple of a line. Yeah. So whenever you're ready, I'm just gonna mute myself. So there's no. Yeah. Okay. We are from different countries. We speak different languages. We are of different cultures. But Fedora unites us with open source. Yay. And I realized I wanted to add one more thing to the script, which I will do now on official thing. And I also have you say, but we could do it together. I realized the last the Budapest video has that at the end. All right. Yes. So I don't know if we can yell it, but I feel like if we just say it loudly. And then we merge all the voices together. It will sound like a shout, right? So three, two, one. We are Fedora. No, we were off. Oh my God. Okay. Okay. Three, two, one. We are. Oh my God. This is harder on video. Yeah. Okay. Try it one more time. Okay. Three, two, one. We are Fedora. I think it should be faster. Like we are Fedora. Yes. Like we are Fedora. Yes. Yes. I think we have so many takes we can, you know, cut and splice some tracks. We have a fine one. There's so many lovely comments here. Thank you for sharing. You're amazing. Very authentic. Samara is awesome. Well, thank you for coming and presenting at Bidora Women's Day and participating throughout the weekends. We're so lucky to have you in Fedora. I'm lucky to be here. All right. Well, I'll see you around and I'm going to jump off. Bye. Bye. Thanks everyone for joining. I'll also leave, but your votes, like reading your comments actually makes me feel really excited. So thank you.