 video one of the questions is you get a man to spend more time with you and he's in a relationship or he's seeing other women as well how you make him your man if you know he's always with another woman he won't take you out and do all the things that couples do like you're basically the side chick and he doesn't take you anywhere how can you get from side chick not being taken anywhere to get to the main spot of where the woman who's actually getting all his attention and privileges of being a girlfriend and you're not and not y'all know I always keep it real so I'm not gonna sugarcoat this and I asked my husband the same question so I'm gonna give y'all my opinion and then his opinion okay so here's mine my opinion is if you don't want if you don't want to be a side chick don't act like one okay take that off the table oh hold on y'all someone's at my door okay y'all okay y'all so first of all you don't want to ever agree to be a side chick in the first place like if you if you go into the relationship as the side chick you have agreed to those terms so you cannot say okay I want I'm a side chick but now I don't want to be a side chick anymore and I want to take the place of the main girl you can't agree to be in a side chick ever if you want to take the girl's place so first of all if you like the guy and he offers you the side chick position decline it say no I'm sorry I can't take this position as side chick because I'm main chick material but if you went ahead and accepted it anyway and now you want to get out of side chick them yes side chick them you got you got to you got to break the moral code you either have to go and call the other girl and tell him what's going on I tell her what's going on or you're gonna have to play where you no longer heard his side chick in that you are now have a boyfriend okay you might have the line so you got a boyfriend but man are very possessive and jealous so if you really want you then he's gonna say hey what why do you got a boyfriend what about me well you're you know you're taking you're not you're not take take that thing you're not single so I didn't limit myself to meeting other people you were my you know in between I'm looking for a man I'm looking for a boyfriend you know now that I have one I don't really need you anymore so you have to find another side chick that was just a temporary position for me I was looking for a real man and you weren't really real man material so I let you go ahead and be my side man or my distraction until I found someone who was really worthy of me so but so you have to kind of play the reverse psychology role and like kick him to the curve saying you got a man that meets your standards then he's gonna be like man I didn't meet her standards and she was using me I thought I was using her so whoever he's with at you know he's gonna be thinking about you the whole time because now you dumped him and he thinks you're with some other guy you moved on that you weren't good enough and that he wasn't good enough for you so now he's like man what did I do wrong maybe she and then he'll start thinking about what he could have done better if he's not really into the girl he's with then he's gonna start trying to be with you and take you away from this other boyfriend and so if he ever calls you and say hey well I thought we were growing towards something I thought we were gonna be a couple and you were in your your response should be well you know you don't take me seriously enough to be boyfriend material you have other things going on and I'm not trying to be no side chick for the rest of my life that was just temporary until the real man came along so now that he's all his attention is on you and stuff like that this is when you start making your demands you say okay well you know what he's gonna be out town this weekend you know he's a military say he's a military man that means you know you have all this opportunity you know like you can travel if you want to you can you know get all the benefits of that cuz that's gonna be hard to top you know so oh he's a military man he's you know he's on base this weekend just makes up much so he's never there and then he'll be like well you want to go to lunch do you want to go do this yeah he's gonna try to get you back don't don't meet with him unless it's in public don't meet with him unless he offers to pay and go out remember he's trying to win you back so in order to get somebody like that you got to totally dump them make up a fake boyfriend that's in the military and basically tell that person that he's not good enough for you and he was just you know they're temporarily until you met a real man okay you got him you got to put up you got to break them all the way down okay so where they are like little lapping puppies and want to you know get your tension back okay that's not moral but it works okay now here's my husband say it okay here's from a man's point of view he said whatever the main chick has that he takes out in public and gives this all to maybe you should strive to become that I don't know whatever that means whatever she has that you don't to be main chick he says you should go after that focus on yourself improving yourself to where you won't get treated like a side chick but like a main chick you know when a man sees you he don't see side chick or someone to use he sees wife material girlfriend material so he men are visual creatures this is what my husband told me to tell you so me I like to play mind games because they work faster okay he don't he don't know that's how he got into this position but yes so you got to basically dump them and then a mystery man don't give him the time of day unless he invites you out in public and pays for your food and treats you like the main chick okay and now he's trying to win you over instead of you trying to win him over if he just dismisses you and say we'll go ahead then hello he only meant to use you in the first place and he was not very interested in you as a person or with for a future at all okay now there's one thing about me they will go after what they truly want they're not gonna go after something they don't want they only gonna give you effort and energy if they truly want you if they don't they're not they're not gonna care what you do and when you understand that you don't chase after men men are supposed to chase after you now you can do a trick like I just told you and see if they will come after you if they don't come after you they don't really want you they just want to use you up okay so I'm gonna leave it at that and you can take whatever advice you want out of that and you apply it to your situation you could take my husband's advice and apply both to the situation and see what you come up with and let me know what happened okay I'm gonna do another question to you okay someone also asked me now this has nothing to do with like a love life someone asked me why do people make New Year's resolution lutions and not keep them okay so we're getting upon January and it's time to make those New Year's resolutions why do people make New Year's resolution on New Year's and why don't they stick to them first of all it's trend if you're doing something that's trendy because everybody else is doing it and people say oh you're supposed to do this this and this at this time of year it's not really a motivation for you it's just your following trend and you have no true desire or true passion to change from within or to do whatever your resolution was it's just pushed on you and so you never really wanted to do it in the first place you know um for instance I just organized my entire closet and it wasn't a New Year's resolution it was one day I was just inspired and I have this urge to get up and go organize my closet okay had nothing to do with any type of resolution or goal or anything like that and just when you feel something and you really want to do it you're just gonna go do it okay you don't need an excuse like a New Year's resolution okay that's why people don't stick with them because they started off false in the first place okay and you can't ever unless you truly mean it and you know you're not just following trend it could work but since it's become this big thing and it's okay to not do your resolutions because everyone falls off then you're also giving your permission to fail so if you're gonna try to change something about yourself don't do it for New Year's do it whenever you feel like you're supposed to do it okay you get trapped in the trend of things so I never make New Year's resolutions my New Year's resolution is to never make a New Year's resolution because I why don't have to wait till the New Year why can't I do it whenever I feel like it you know I might not get inspired until spring I might not get inspired until late winter to do something you know I might not get inspired unless I see something and get an idea so I'm not gonna fake motivate myself to do something I know I'm not passionate about that I know I'm probably gonna waste time effort and money on because it's not truly in my heart to do it yet you know I'm gonna wait till I get that urge to like I got this surge of energy will just rush you and you will go head first into whatever you're trying to change or do okay like right now I still have this urge to organize for some reason so I'm gonna organize my laundry room next when I get when I get some time and then I'm gonna organize my children's closet and probably after that I'm gonna be burnt out on organizing for about a whole another year so yeah only do stuff when you're inspired and motivated not because it's trend okay because trend will get you every time sometimes you'll see a bunch of people rush to get the same item the same purse the same clothes the same look the same decor the same furniture and it's like every YouTube channel you watch it looks the same like the background is all the same that's why I changed mine up I got the dark furniture I got I mixed my style up I don't try to be like what's trendy you know because you see one you see them all okay and you got some type of originality yes you can be inspired by trends but don't just be a don't just be a trend you know incorporate your style and all that into it if you want to lose weight for new years just you know instead of making this strict long diet workout plan joining gender to change one thing just like you know I'm gonna get I'm gonna eat 200 calories less a day and that's the that's my new year's resolution that's it that's easy you just cut out one snack okay and that's easier to maintain than going to the gym working out going on a diet you know tracking calories and all that stuff just just take out one snack from your diet that's New Year's resolution and I read something and say if you do that you can lose like five pounds or something in a month or 10 pounds or something in a month just by taking one snack at your diet and eating 200 calories less a day or something like that depending on how much you eat you know and I if you eat a lot of calories and 200 calories and I'm gonna matter then I don't know but if you just eat like a normal you know daily food intake and you just take out 200 of those calories you'll see a difference like if you if you like fast food and you go to McDonald's and you get the meal instead of getting the whole meal just get the sandwich okay that's that's easy to do right okay so if you're gonna if you are gonna go on trend and do a New Year's resolution don't put it up so high where you cannot stick with it do something easy why would you do that to yourself you know another New Year's resolution is you know when I get up you know clean my room you know that's easy that way you know pick something that you can do that's easy you know how when people sacrifice something they choose something that they really like and they they like suffer and and they break it you know a lot of people fast or give up something for lint or whatever a Passover and like if their religion or you know meditating and they give up something they really like and they struggle with it why would you do that to yourself give up something you don't like the purpose of giving up something or sacrifice something that you like is to show that you have restraint and all that stuff and that you're dedicated to this this is that but if you are think about this for one second whatever if it's if it's not good for you then yes give it up but if it's not harming you and you think it is good for you why would you give that up like mentally that's depriving yourself saying you don't need this you don't deserve this give this up in order to feel like you deserve it again that's stupid okay it's it's a trick to say you know you don't deserve this you know why would I give up certain things when I asked for it in the first place doesn't make sense right like if you manifest and you ask for abundance to never go hungry to always have good things and then you give up sugar or you give up meat or you give up eating but one meal a day because you want to feel humble and thankful that's silly it's supposed to be the opposite okay and a lot of religion will trick you into this to giving up your abundance and feeling below and humble and you know if you're not thankful every day for what you have and you have to deprive yourself of something in order to be thankful then you know what's that say about you okay reassess reassess okay I'm gonna leave this video with that thumbs up if y'all agree on the New Year's Eve resolution part and also if you have any extra advice to give this young lady put them in the comments I'm sure she'll be watching and I'll see you guys later if y'all have an issue or a question or y'all want some advice as well put them in the comments and I'll probably pick a good subject a good topic to cover in the next few days okay thank y'all so much for watching happy holidays