 All right guys, so Very good. We're gonna get started right now as you can tell my voice is hoarse But coming to the stage is a stallion in the pickup game. I'm not afraid to say that I'm gonna welcome second year in a row all the way from California the dapper and Indiscriminative DJ Fuji give him your undivided attention. Give it up. You guys hear me in the back How's the mic? Good awesome. How you guys doing? I Need a little more energy. I thought we did this last year. How are you guys doing? Outstanding all right, so today we're gonna talk, you know like yes to the last year right 2009 We talked a whole lot about fundamentals We talked about those those things that lie the foundation for everything that game is built upon and Those things that make the difference no matter who you are No matter what your skill set is no matter where you're interacting where you're charging those fundamentals are absolutely critical And so last year we covered things like the date model Okay, some of you guys will never forget that because you missed a free boot camp. Okay discipline training execution We talked about the fundamentals talked about eliminating flakes Completely eliminating the phone flakes right the the no texting back the no the no callback We talked about not ejecting pushing your comfort zone why that's important and qualification So this year we're gonna change it up a little bit this year I'm gonna go from the what which is what I taught you guys last year I'll touch you guys the what and this year. I'm gonna teach you guys the how so one of the things when I went through my speech From last year and I said you know what like what am I gonna speak on this year? And I went through and I watched my whole speech again And what became very apparent to me it over the course of a year is that I taught you guys last year all of the Concepts and all of the things that are very important But I never taught you guys how to implement it how to do it and so the theme this year is action Everything about this year is going to be action So it actually instead of me lecturing to you guys what you're gonna notice is that a large part of what we're gonna talk about today Is going to be interactive? So hopefully you guys have notes because a lot of this stuff is gonna be me bringing you guys to the stage It's gonna be you guys writing things down It's gonna be you guys creating action plans because gentlemen the name of the game in all of this and being successful Whether it's in life where there's in pickup where there's in finance or anything else The name of the game is action and the men who take action are successful and the men who don't are not Okay, it's a pretty simple concept. All right, so We're gonna define and implement all of these fundamentals that we talked about last year So all those concepts that we discussed now we're gonna show how to do it and we're gonna put a date on it We're actually going to create an action plan to actually get that stuff done Okay, and what we're gonna look at is holistic growth We're gonna look at things that improve not only your game But your life in general that affect all these aspects because everything kind of is intertwined So let's move on I'm gonna move fairly quick guys because I have a lot of stuff to cover And I'm gonna try to get some time in for questions at the end Quick ground rules first things first same as last year if you guys have questions Please write those down and ask at the end Periodically, I'll pull the audience and I'll ask do you guys have any questions? Does that make sense? Okay, especially when I'm talking about something that's a kind of a complicated topic when I ask that question That's your cue to ask any questions you guys have okay second thing for the next hour and a half I want you guys to forget everything that you know about game Everything that you have read everything that you've watched on DVDs everything you've listened to everything you know from the field Forget everything okay for the next hour and a half because I want you guys to keep an open mind I want you guys to absorb all this information that way when you get out in field you can apply it Participation like we said okay, this is gonna be very very interactive. So I want you guys max participation All right, this is not gonna be a one-way lecture. This is not gonna be me up here running my mouth Right, this is gonna be a two-way thing and lastly for those of you guys watching at home We're gonna be doing a lot of drills. We're gonna be doing a lot of very interactive things I don't want you guys the same as everyone else here. I don't want you guys to be passive listeners I don't want you guys to watch this as entertainment. I want you guys to take out a sheet of paper Just like all these guys are here I want you guys to take out a pen and I want you guys to follow along and if you're here And if you're watching with a wing or you're watching with a friend of yours do the drills Pause the tape do the drills just like these guys are gonna do here Okay, the name of the game is action and those of you guys at home You're no exception the men who take action those are the guys that are gonna are gonna be successful. Does that make sense? Good Okay, so we talked about the date model last time right this idea of discipline Training and execution right and why that's so important This is the three critical concepts that if you don't implement them You're just not successful unless you bring an incredible amount of talent to the table There's one of those things that either if you do if you have it you're successful and if you don't you're not Okay, now we're gonna revisit this concept because I've added some more things and just like all of you guys are in this growth Process right you're in this process of getting better at pick up you're getting this process of improving yourself Right of working on all aspects So too am I with coaching and one of the things that I do periodically is I go back through and I make sure I Haven't missed things I make sure that my things are clear and they're concise And what I've realized is that that a that was formerly lower case is now uppercase because now we have a definition for that A so let's get into this. Okay, so the first one D discipline who can define that for me No one's taking a chance I'm gonna start calling on people are you in the front Okay, close close discipline is doing what's necessary even when you don't want to it's making the tough decisions Right discipline is courage All right, so with discipline what we're gonna do is what I want you guys to do instead of just Understanding the concept of discipline and say oh, yeah, that's that's really cool. Like I get it. It's a guy doing push-ups Yeah, whatever next slide. Okay now We're gonna have action action plans Okay, I want all you guys to write down one example Where you lack discipline and we all have that no matter who you are and it could be in pickup It could be in your workouts. It could be in waking up early whatever the case is I want you guys to write down an instance where you lack discipline Okay, where you can improve that level of discipline and where that's impacting your life When you guys are done with that look up. Okay green shirt. What's your one thing for discipline? Okay Gotcha purple discipline. You do what? Okay, gotcha Blue shirt right there center will be more specific procrastination with what? Okay, gotcha. Okay, so now we're gonna do is we're gonna find a solution So what I want you guys to do now is I want you to write down how you're gonna fix that Let's brainstorm a solution. Let's think outside the box So all those things that you guys wrote down I want you now to come up with a solution not only that but I want you to write when you're going to fix that and Some of these things don't seem to have a definite answer And that's why we're doing this drill because I want you guys to think outside the box I want you to not think I can't do it right or this is an obstacle. I want you to think how can I solve this? Okay, so for that one thing with this discipline find the solution. Okay, do that now and look up when you're done What shirt what you got? Okay, what's the what's the discipline part? Okay, and the solution is you're gonna start buying healthy foods Okay, be a little bit more specific. When are you gonna do that and how are you gonna do that? Okay, so what's the difference between a guy who has a goal when he goes after it and he Achieves that and the guy who has the goal, but it's just doesn't really work Right that action never really pans through is specificity how specific his goals are right So what I want you to do is I want you to give me a very very specific timeline and a very specific action plan of How are you gonna do that? Okay, so what's preventing you from doing that right now? Okay, okay So what could you do in your current situation right now? What could you do to change that? What about asking them and they're just like no, I'm just gonna buy junk food Okay, well you get like you said you can pick and choose right and then when you get to that school year now You can start implementing that okay, but when you have a timeline when you know when you're going to do something all of a Sun this becomes real. It's oh, this is this is actually something. I'm working towards not some Some random goal in the clouds that random goal in the clouds is not called a goal by the way It's called a fantasy Meaning it doesn't actually happen. Okay, so we're gonna we're gonna do is take all these things today And we're gonna assign timeline to them We're gonna give you guys the when so that you have something to work towards okay The next thing after D that elusive a right that a is aggressiveness And it's the one thing that I was I was thinking it and I was like there's one thing missing on that DTD Model because every natural he's got the D the T and the E, but there's something missing There's something else that's going on and that's something else is aggressiveness And you'll notice anyone who's good at anything would that be pick up whether that be life whether there be any skill They are aggressive. They go after what they want. They go after their goals. They achieve their goals Okay So in aggression or an aggressiveness what I want you guys to do is again find a specific area Where you guys should be more of aggressive and again that could be in pick up that could be in life That could be in finances that could be in your job Okay, write that down now and look up when you're done. Okay in the back Way way in the back, right? What's your specific area? Going out more Okay, I want you to be more specific in terms of aggression going out more could be discipline really right? So in terms of being aggressive, how would you specify that? Okay? Are you going out four nights right now? Okay, so going from four to seven is that your biggest sticking point in terms of aggressiveness In other words, if you looked at your whole life and said where am I lacking aggressiveness in my whole life? Is the biggest sticking point that you're only going out four nights a week? It's not right. So what is that? Okay? I want you to be specific taking charge in your life. That's very general It's very vague. Okay, specifically. What is that? Finding the right career. Okay, even more specific than that. Okay? Aggressively finding your passion now. We're on to something right? Okay. Now stage two How and when do you fix that? I want you to tell me how and when we're gonna fix that we got it. You got to find the how first right? Because what if the how is to travel the world and do different things in different countries? But you're broke right now then that when all of a sudden changes doesn't it? Okay, so give me the how first then we'll give me the when Okay, I want you to be more specific in terms of like you're saying experiment with different jobs Okay, I want you to be more specific. How are you going to go about finding that passion? What are you going to do? Are you just gonna quit your job every month like I like I'm done with McDonald's I'm gonna go to Starbucks done with that gonna go to save on Okay, now what fields are you looking for? Do you have any idea? Okay, what other way could you go about finding? information about traveling or marketing and the jobs related to that and maybe Getting experience in those industries. How what else could you do to make that happen? What's that? Internships, what else so I can experts what else but volunteering volunteering right Going around and volunteering your time or going to volunteer organizations See a lot of us have these goals a lot of this have these these ideas of things We want to do and they're they're very vague these these broad ideas of like oh I want to be wealthy or I want to be successful at pickup or I want to be blah blah blah and the reason we do this drills Because no matter what we're talking about we're talking about escalation for talking about qualification for talking about sexuality We're talking about pickup as a whole None of this stuff actually changes this same concept of figuring out what your goals are Being very specific about your goals and then figuring out the how and the when and then the when that stuff Is what makes you successful? Okay Okay, blue bracelets Vinik Okay, what is your thing for aggression? Okay, is that is that a big thing holding you back right now? Okay. All right. Now give me the how and give me the when Okay Right, okay. What else could you do? Bingo? What else could you do? I was a web developer? So I know your your industry very well Sort of that's part of the process right, but what else could you do? What would you do if you wanted to learn say history? Right go buy some books take some classes get some training learn from people better than you go on the forums Right experiment all of those things those are all the how okay now when are we gonna start doing that? Not when can we when are you going to do that? Are you gonna be back on Monday? Okay, gotcha. So it's Monday feasible for you then Okay, so what I want you to do then is write down that date write down Monday write the date and Commit to that that applies to all you guys commit to those dates I will do this on this date and don't take all of these things put them on the same day because you know You need as well as I do you guys aren't gonna get to it Okay, space out your stuff, but when you have goals Specify the how and specify the when and then we go after it make sense Yes, no fuck you something Good all right, okay, so let's talk about training now right so training again training encompasses in Pickup training compass is actually taking real training for a professional But it also encompasses working with guys better than you it encompasses going out with guys better than you going out with natural friends Learning from everybody around you even if that the people that you're learning from may not necessarily be as good as you are Learning from all these different resources That's the training process as well as cross-training into different areas Guess what if we're doing pickup right we're doing cold approach We're meeting women and you go out and you take a stand of comedy class or you take an improv class Right doesn't directly correlate to pick up but guess what that helps you more than a lot of classes You even take in pick up all right all these different things kind of intertwined together. All right, so in terms of training a Everybody kind of has a lot just like anything else everyone kind of has a lot of the same habits And I would guarantee that all of us have a sticking point in training Okay, you know that maybe that you haven't taken a workshop or a class on something that you need to get better at That maybe that you realize you have certain sticking points and you haven't directly addressed them You've hoped that they're gonna solve themselves Whatever the case is what I want you guys to do is I want you guys to write down the reason that you guys have in Your head for why you haven't taken that training Why you haven't done that? Why you haven't gone out to seek out those naturals to go out with those guys to learn from those guys to hang out With guys that are better than you whatever the case may be I want you to take that concept of training and I want you guys to write down one reason that's been holding you back Could be all of money. It could be Time it could be I don't I don't know any naturals. Whatever the case is. I want you to write down that reason Do that now and look up when you're done Green shirt, okay, like what? Okay, so you need training for the website then, okay? So what are your priorities then if your priorities aren't coaching right? If your priorities aren't doing that then find out what your priorities are and then find out could coaching help me Or could some sort of training doesn't have to be coaching could that training help me? What area would that be? Okay, so in order to do that, right? What is the actual reason that you're saying? Oh, I can't take training now Maybe this is training on whatever internet marketing Okay, is that what it is? Okay, then define that we got to define that right because if it's just this broad concept like oh, yeah I just I need to know how to do that. We don't know how to get it go about it Okay, okay, so in that specific field Are you maximizing the amount of training to make you effective and if you are then what's the next thing that you're not? We're looking for sticking points, right? We're looking things that are holding us back again. This could be a game This could be internet marketing. This could be job could be anything Okay, so when what area is a lack of training holding you back sticking point wise, okay at coaching people, right? Okay, gotcha. Okay, so now you have that sticking point right that reason, okay now give me the how and the when What's the actual case? So you said you need coaching, right? But what's the reason you haven't been doing it focusing on our stuff, right? Okay now? What's the solution to that? Okay, good. Good. Good. Now you have the solution now when? When could you start doing that? Okay. No, will you do it? That's the question, right? The million-dollar question. Okay. Good. Good Okay Third row back Navy Polo. Okay. All right Let's see Center right there Like sure Sunglasses. Yep you okay training one reason for not taking training. What's that? It doesn't matter what I'm looking here for right here for is excuses Right. What we're going to do is we're going to bust through limiting beliefs We're going to bust through obstacles. We're going to bust their excuses Okay, right, so we're looking at areas in which training can improve your life Like I said, that could be pick up that could be Your career that could be a skill that you want to learn it could be a musical instrument But we're looking for areas in which training can improve your life And what most people don't do is most people either don't think about it They don't acknowledge it. They don't go after it or they let things get in their way They let obstacles get in their way. They say, oh, well, you know, I can't I can't do this because blah blah blah Right money's a big thing, right money's especially in what we do money's a big deal. It's like that's expensive training It's like a lot of people don't have that kind of money, right? A lot of people like we don't have an extra two three thousand dollars I'll tell you what Steve who's sitting right here. I'll topo that guy slept in his car to take training He said, you know, I only have enough money today training. I don't have enough money for a hotel or anything else So I'll sleep in my car to make that happen Okay, what did he do differently than the other three guys the other ten guys who said, oh, I don't have the money I don't have the money and and so I guess I can't take training. He made it happen He didn't let those excuses get him down He didn't let those things hold him back and what you'll find is that those excuses are the same things that hold us back In field they're the same things that hold us back in business in our career and everything else that we want to do So by sitting by by looking at the excuses that our head comes up with that our mind that our mind comes up with and Being able to get around them being able to overcome them. We train ourselves We train our brains and our thought process to not allow those excuses to hold us back. Does that make sense? Okay, so in the center again. All right, so what area is training holding you back or lack thereof You guess or you do want to You do okay So in what way would training help you about do you need training to enter law school? Like do you need to training to take a test to get in or you tell me? I'm not a lawyer Okay, so do you think training would help you do that? I don't think so. I'm not buying it Okay, but do you think that's an area in which you need to improve I want you to think of areas in which you need to improve Yeah We'll come back to you Okay, okay black shirt right there area in which you can improve Okay. Now. What's the solution? What's the how and the when how do you get around that? Okay, what time do you work? What's your hours? So then what's been holding you back right now? Okay, okay So you're exactly you could literally when you get back soon as you get back start implementing this, right? Okay, so the when is basically immediately as soon as you get back right now. Will you do that million dollar question? Okay, good solid solid. All right. Let's move on. Okay execution right when you're in the moment actually executing pulling the trigger Okay, we can prepare we can be aggressive. We can get the training but in the moment Can you pull the trigger? Can you make it happen? That's execution? Okay, and like all these other these other facets that we covered Execution is again one of those things where there are a lot of us all of us have sticking points in execution Okay, so an execution one way you fail to execute in anything Write that down look up when you're done. What do you got man? You can be really aggressive and then when the moment of truth comes fail, right? Correct, correct, but in what area you fail to execute? Okay, I want you to be more specific I want is a very specific area in where you're you're not Okay Okay, okay, why? Okay, this is good. This is good. This is exactly why we're here. Okay, so what I'm trying to get at is the root cause Because if you don't know what the cause is you can't fix it, right? So what's the root cause of this problem this fire to execute is it not knowing what to do? Is it not knowing when or how to do something is it being afraid? Correct, I'll tell you I'll tell you what it is. Okay, I'll tell you with an almost certain degree of accuracy what it is It's fear It's fear right just like all of us experience when we're approaching all of us experience when a set's going really well And we don't want to mess it up. We don't want to lose it Okay, it's just like anything else all that is fear Okay, so you have to learn to recognize that and you have to learn to see fear in a different light Okay, well, okay actually break down. What are you actually afraid of? correct No, no, no, not logically right When you're feeling that what do you think what do you think you're afraid of for example? Okay, you go out and you see say to gorgeous women and you're gonna go talk to them I don't care who you are if you are sane You are afraid because I'm afraid the other coaches are afraid you guys are afraid it happens Okay, and no amount of training Fixes that you just learn to manage it now. What if we break that down? What are we actually afraid of now logically? There's nothing really to be afraid of but emotionally. What are we afraid of we're afraid of rejection We're afraid of the damage to the ego, right? We're afraid of our self-concept being different from what we think it is Okay, we're afraid of all of these different things. We're afraid of the social proof impact We're afraid that people will see that and they will look at it differently Those are all actual feelings and emotions and when we can narrow down why we're afraid We can then take steps to eliminate that or to fix that Okay, so what I want I don't want to know from you is what are you afraid of in terms of say escalation? Okay, I want you to think about what though What are you afraid of? In other words if this doesn't work out What are you afraid is going to happen? Let me take a shot in the dark. You're if this doesn't work out Are you afraid that she's not gonna like you anymore? Correct, correct, right, right, but we're not we're not looking logically Okay, because logically there actually is nothing but emotionally like what we have to look we have to do is we have To break down that emotion that emotion of fear like I said if it's an approach a lot of times It's that validation or it's the the possibility that we're going to break that validation Right, we're not gonna get that validation right or our peers are gonna look at us differently, okay? So let's say let's give a specific example. Let's say escalation, right? Let's say going for the kiss when you say that's that's an area in which you're not escalating Okay, so when you're in the moment and you know she's down for that and you know I'm saying I'm really close all I have to do is go for it, right? So we're eliminating the other variables we're eliminating anything to do with I don't know how to do it I'm not close enough anything you're right there. It's it's it's all you have to do is reach out and take it But you're afraid, okay? What are you afraid of? That's not gonna work, right? That it's not gonna work, right? Okay, so if we're afraid that it's not gonna work in that you're gonna get say quote-unquote rejected Okay, what we're gonna do and we're gonna talk about this a little bit intergame Okay, the solution here is to look at that differently to reframe to change your point of view because what you see from your point of view is if She doesn't kiss me back or she's not ready or whatever the case is and I get quote-unquote rejected in your head Your head is playing a mini movie and that movie is she's gonna reject me She's gonna run out the door and I'm gonna look like an idiot and I'm gonna feel really bad Okay, in reality what happens in the real world is when you go for it and say for example She's not ready or it's not the right time or her friends are looking or whatever whatever mistake you're making And she's not ready for that. What really happens is you continue to move forward If you go to kiss a girl and she walks away from you she was going to walk away in the next minute anyway You do not blow yourself out with escalation like like a lot of guys say a woman will always forgive you For being a man and for going for it and being a little bit miscalibrated a woman will not forgive you for not being a man For not going after what you want. Does that make sense? So when next time you're in that situation, I want you to realize that if you go for it The worst possible thing that could happen is she's not down and you got to try again later If she walks away, you are gonna lose it anyway. She was gonna walk away in the next minute anyway So you can't actually screw that up There's actually no way to screw that up if you just go for it Okay, a lot of guys think I'm here on let's say this is a scale, right? And a lot of guys think I'm here and I'm trying to go this way to escalate, right? I'm trying to get further ahead and this is before the kiss and this is what a lot of guys think if I get the kiss I'm here. I'm further ahead if I don't get the kiss if she rejects me. I'm here It's what a lot of guys think in reality. This is what it looks like This is you before the kiss about ready to go if you get the kiss You're here Okay, we understand that if you don't get the kiss you don't go that way if you don't get the kiss You're there. Does that make sense? The key to that is when you don't get the kiss you still move forward You move forward because she realized you know what? You're a man. You're going after what you want Maybe it's not the right time, but she can forgive you for that You are going after what you want. That is an attractive quality Whereas if you don't if you don't go at it for it at all guess what you do then now you move back That's the only time you move back So when you guys are at that point of execution take action anytime you're on the fence, right? Decision decision. I'm not sure which one to do You always err on the side of action Anytime it's like I'm not sure which one's going on It usually means that that decision is a decision of action or inaction. You always want to err on the side of action Okay, last year pretty much right after I did the 21 convention I had an opportunity if you guys saw the jet blue thing right $600 fly anywhere jet blue flies So I called my friends and I said hey man, let's go do this It's gonna be a blast. We're gonna fly around the world We're gonna see all these new things and my friends all gave the typical response that I'm sure you guys have all gotten to Oh, yeah, let's do it. Let's do it man. They don't follow through They don't actually do it. They're not closers, right? They're not people that do things They're people that talk the talk, but they can't walk the walk so what happened is We got down to the wire and I said, you know what they're all we got a check for work Well, we're not sure yet. I you know like it's really busy. I was like, you know what I'm gonna do this If you guys would like to join me that would be awesome But if you don't if you can't for whatever reason that's cool, too So what I ended up doing was basically traveling around through all South America By myself not knowing the lick of Spanish not having a hotel to stay in not knowing what the hell I was gonna do And I'll tell you what from a guy who never traveled growing up my parents never took me anyone I never left the country till about four years ago From going from that place to going to a foreign country not speaking the language not knowing anything about the culture That scares the crap out of you But I had a decision to make and that decision was action or inaction Now inaction would have been an easy decision to take. Oh, you know, my friends don't want to go It's expensive blah blah blah. I could work on the business. There's so many things I could be doing I'm just not gonna do it, but I chose action and you know what that was the best decision I ever made I grew more from that one trip from facing my fears in that one trip then I had grown in the last 10 years When you are faced with action and inaction you always err on the side of action. Nobody ever regrets action You never say oh, I should have taken that vacation. That's so yeah, like I'd retrospect. I should have just stayed home You always regret the inaction. You never regret the act even if it doesn't turn out, right? At least you gave it your best shot at least you can go to sleep at night knowing you know what I gave him my best shot How many of us have been in field and we see that that 10 and we say oh man, I should approach her But she's talking to some guys. I don't know. I don't know how many have been there all of us, right? Now how many of us have been there when you don't approach because she's talking to the guy and you beat yourself up at home The whole time you're home. You're like man, I should have done it. I should have done it Now how many of us have actually approached so you get blown out and you go home and you're like man I shouldn't approach fucked up. It was stupid. I shouldn't have done it like that was a waste of my time I wanted my five minutes back. How many of us have done that? I've never done that I have never regretted an approach that blew out never we're talking thousands five six thousand approaches never regretted an approach Because we don't regret action the only regret in action. Okay, so let's move on Okay, so one of the really really common questions that I got last year was okay Fuji, so you're teaching the fundamentals What are the fundamentals? What does that mean? What are the actual skills that I have to learn and in what order and I answer that question over and over and over And I realized that was my fault for not explain that for not elaborating on that Okay, so real quick. I'm gonna give you a hierarchy of skills for all of you guys that ever wondered, okay These fundamentals. What do I do and in what order? Do I learn this indirect first? Do I learn like the seduction stuff? Do I learn like the advanced come like when do I do this? How how does this all fit together? Okay, this is the hierarchy if we went from what you learn at the beginning to what you learn towards the end Approximately speaking. This is kind of the order in which you learn things So first and foremost body language and sub-communication perhaps the most important thing in all of pickup You can literally have nearly none of these other things But have the body language and the sub-communication of an attractive man and you can do pretty well Which is why the first thing on that list is to nail down your sub-coms nail down your body language And I realized that's also the hardest thing How many of us have ever been in that in the field with a drink here, right? And someone tells us to put the drink down and what happens two seconds later when you get distracted Boom right back up again. We've all seen those wings, right? We've all had the wings. Oh, hey, man You should put your drink down. He's like, okay, cool. Yeah. Oh my god Dude the other day like yeah, like I was hanging out instantly comes back. Now. Why is that because it's a habit? Because you are used to doing that Because you have done that so many times that it's muscle memory Now what happens if the muscle memory is leaning back if the muscle memory is smiling if the muscle memory is Kino is physical contact if it's all good habits and not bad habits all of a sudden We stop thinking about those things as well Okay, our sub communication and our body language as we all know communicate a whole lot more than the words We say so focus on that first Okay, second thing social and conversational skills a lot of people kind of overlook this a lot of people say Oh, you know like I talked to my mom the other day and I didn't stall out So I'm good socially like I didn't have run out of things to say so I can have a conversation When I say social and conversational skills What I mean is mastery over the conversation being able to lead the conversation in directions You want it to go how many of us have ever gotten stuck in a conversation about something factual like computers or politics Something that's not helping us a lot of us, right? Definitely been there getting stuck in that one thing I know this is not going anywhere. I know I need to take this someplace flirty someplace sexual But we're just having a really long discussion on politics. We've all been there Okay, that's conversation skills. That is social skills Okay, don't make the mistake of thinking. Oh, you know as long as I can talk. I have those skills learn those things We're gonna cover those in a little bit teasing and humor one of the most overlooked things in all of pickup you can't tease you can't generate humor It's really hard to escalate gentlemen very very hard to escalate because one of the things that enables us to escalate One of the things that enables us to throw out sexuality to throw out the sexual frames is that humor Diffuses that how many of us have ever tried to Kino without humor in the first part of the interaction And you're you're up there and you're talking and Neil Strauss talks about this in the game He talks about they told me to Kino and I didn't know what to do So soon just put my hand on the girl while I was talking and it was like a disembodied hand just on the girl And we both felt the awkwardness if you guys have ever tried that that's exactly what it feels like Someone tells you to Kino and you don't know how to Kino. You don't know you don't know that Kino accompanies humor So you're talking about politics or whatever boring topic it is. Oh, yeah, it's really nice weather today Yeah, like it's really hot and Orlando's okay. That's weird. We can all feel that we all a lot of us have been in field We know that okay humor teasing allows us to get away with that Sexuality which this man right here is an absolute expert at Sexuality is something that humor allows us to get away with okay It doesn't matter kind of where you are in the pickup humor and and teasing are one of your biggest tools So learn those things if you're not naturally funny Then learn that sense of humor go to improv classes learn stand-up comedy go out and develop that Okay, next thing leading again one of the most important things if you don't know how to lead and we're gonna cover this You don't know how to lead you've got to learn that you can't lead the set You can't lead men Nobody's going to follow and if a girl doesn't follow your lead guess what nothing happens Kino and physical contact being able to touch people being able to have physical contact and not have it be weird Knowing when to touch knowing how to touch Having the right vibe so that when you do it. It seems natural We've all seen those natural friends that from day one. They're just very touchy-feely They touch everyone and it seems totally normal and we're stuck going I don't know how the hell he's doing that because every time I touch it feels weird to me Okay, same thing Kino all these things will are all these things super super important on this hierarchy of skills Okay, flirting showing interest Again, all these things have prerequisites the one above that. That's why it's in this order Okay, so once you learn to learn to learn humor once you learn Kino now We learn to flirt flirting is what allows you to get the girls that aren't into you a lot of guys think game Is only getting the girls that are already attracted to you. That's not game in my opinion Especially because there's not a lot of girls into five foot four Asian guys It's a lot easier when you're like tall and like good-looking when you're short and Asian you don't get in girls Just rolling up. Oh my god, like I had this like really big fantasy about like five foot four Asian guys doesn't happen I'm sorry. Okay, doesn't happen. So we actually have to learn how to change people's emotions We actually have to learn game and game to me is Attracting women that wouldn't otherwise be attracted to you because let's be honest We're not all of us have a lot to work with to begin with all right so again flirting showing interest That's what allows us to do that the flirting process allows a girl that would otherwise see you as a friend in the friend zone to all of a sudden see you as sexual potential rapport and connection forming that emotional connection seduction and sex All these things these hierarchy of skills a lot of us a lot of these of us learn out of order a lot of us learn A lot of us just skip it entirely. Oh, yeah, I'm good at rapport. I'm just heard that from our wings Yeah, I'm like, I'm gonna report. Yeah, I just got learned attraction and that's it that I'm fine with rapport Then what happens when a girl likes them? Oh can't escalate can't form that bond get flaked on if you're getting flakes Guess what rapport and connection is weak. Okay, seduction and sex relationship management Once you have the girl then what what do you do? You want to be that guy who supposedly gets the new girl every week or whatever, but can't keep any of them around You've got to be well rounded. Okay, and these skills these hierarchy of skills when we build these These make us the complete person Okay, let's move on. Okay approaching Zadie. Let's look at some real-world solutions All right, and I kind of skipped over this last time which is crazy because this is a huge huge issue All right, how many of us experience approaching Zadie? Pretty much everyone right? It's kind of a universal thing. We all at one time or another are going to experience that anxiety Now a lot of people will read books on it and though there's a lot of theories on that like where it came from and blah Let's look at real-world solutions Let's look at things we can do to actually achieve that management of approaching Zadie Okay, because it's not going to go away. I'll tell you right now that approaching Zadie doesn't go away But we do learn to manage it case the first and foremost open the first set. We've all heard this Okay, all of us have heard this at one time or another open the first set As soon as you walk in the venue and how many of us do it almost no one Almost no I'll tell you that because I was in the same boat Okay, when I was in your guy's shoes, which is not that long ago. I was the same thing I didn't approach the first set Oh, sometimes I did when it was convenient when I was in a good mood. I did but did I do it consistently? and Was I able to consistently get over that approaching Zadie? No, not until I started doing that when I made up my mind I will approach the first set every time come hell or Hawaii water I don't care who it is two girls a guy in a groan a date two guys making out. I don't care who it is I'm approaching the first set that I see Don't give yourself excuses because guess what if you say well, you know I saw that set but that's those two guys and they're like holding hands or they're making out I can't approach them Then what are you gonna say when you see the two girls? Oh, you they're probably together, too What about the three girls? Oh, they look like they're in a conversation right now Like they look like they're really busy. I can't approach them Okay, the point being is that if you let one excuse get by you're gonna let every excuse get by and it's a cascading effect You're gonna consistently let excuses come by and all of a sudden you're 45 minutes an hour into the into the venue And you have an open one set because you have this cascading list of excuses that are holding you back So instead we approach the first set and we don't let any excuse get in our way It doesn't matter who they are doesn't matter what they look like it doesn't matter what move there And it doesn't matter what they're doing the first set we see we approach okay, second thing the mindset of Opening is interesting because a lot of guys future project and what I mean by that is a lot of guys think about What's gonna happen afterward naturally we think okay, so I'm gonna open. Oh, what am I gonna say after that? Oh, what if she likes me? What if she doesn't like me? What if I've approached her before? What if I met her last week? What if she's friends with my friends all of these? What if scenarios go through our head and they go through our head because our mindset is not in the right place our Mindset should be in this place right here. The goal is to open. It's not to impress people. It's not to get attraction It's not to make her like you. It's not to go sexual It's not any of these things it is to open that is your only priority until you open nothing else matters It doesn't matter what you do in the set doesn't matter what the sets like how they react Doesn't matter if they're straight by gay otherwise until you open nothing matters So your first priority your first mindset is I will open I'm gonna open and that's my only thing and when I get there Then I'll worry about everything else, but I'm not gonna worry about that stuff now that mindset keep that in your head That will allow you to manage a lot of that initial approach anxiety. Okay, next thing get a sponsor. What happens at Alcoholics Anonymous? Yeah, what happens when you're addicted something whether it's alcohol drugs or anything else you have a sponsor, right? And why do you have a sponsor? Because there are times of emotional weakness There are times when you want to drink there times when you want Whatever whatever your vice may be there times when you want to actually do it, right? Now what happens when we're in field? What happens one field and we start to feel that approach anxiety build up We start to feel that intense anxiety the intense fear and it's right here in the gut and we think oh man I can't approach her like this is this is super hard like she might do some she I don't know She might not like me she might her boyfriend might come up and beat me up We're thinking all these things it is a time of emotional weakness So just like in the Alcoholics Anonymous or any other kind of vice we have a sponsor So too should you guys have us and I know it sounds hokey I know it sounds like get a sponsor. That's crazy. But how many times have we been in field? How many times have we been in field? We see us that we should have but we don't do it We don't do it because we let the fear get to us We let the anxiety get to us and I discovered this by accident I discovered it because my wing and I when we go out solo and we did a lot or we'd be in another city or whatever We felt that approach anxiety and it didn't happen very often But we felt that crippling approach anxiety Every once in a while you're gonna feel it's so bad. I don't care who you are It's so crippling you can't move and when that happened we would call each other up And we call and it wasn't even a it wasn't even like a pep talk really most our conversation sounded like this Oh, hey, hey, Mike. What's up? He's like, hey, I'm like, yeah, I'm in field right now He's like, well, what's going on? I'm being a pussy He's like, well, what are you afraid of? I don't know man. This is hard like I just like there's like the Logistics are bad. He's like, what are you going to do tomorrow? How are you gonna feel tomorrow when you haven't gone after that when you didn't do it? When you aired on the side of inaction, what are you afraid of and I was like, you know what man? You're right I shouldn't be afraid of anything. This is bullshit. I'm just gonna do it Okay, and obviously that relies on the quality of your sponsor right quality of your friends And so ideally you want this to be a wingman you want this to be coach You want this to be someone who's gonna be supportive not someone who's gonna talk crap to you Right, so in my long-term training program. I've then extended that for all of my students So whenever they have that approach anxiety they can call or they can text and I can walk them through that process No matter what your situation is though You want that sponsor and it could be approach anxiety could be escalation You said it could be any of those things But you know how much easier it is when you're like afraid to escalate Oh, hold on. I have to go to the bathroom you go and you call your sponsor Could be your friend your wing whatever you call your sponsor and he gives that little pep talk He walks you through it and he makes you realize how silly that that fear is Okay, that's the power of having that sponsor thinking outside the box gentlemen Okay, the other thing the index card portable coach, and I know that sounds geeky, too Okay, what this is is this right here. I want you guys all to take out sheet of paper And I want you to write this down and I want you to fold it up And I want you to put it in your wallet and every time you feel that crippling approach anxiety I want you to take that out, and I want you to read it and this applies to you guys at home Write this down, and I want you to read that off to yourself Because it's going to reframe your beliefs. It's going to make you realize how silly this thing is How illogical this feeling is okay the index card coach says this are you here to get the girl? Or are you here to get the skill? And if you're here to get the skill then why does a rejection matter? Does it have any effect on your life whatsoever? Don't let fear control your life the fear is an illusion Don't let illusions hold you back from achieving your goals You write this down And this is exactly all of these things all these tactics that I'm giving you guys all these action points these action lists I'm having you guys do to take to sit down when you have a sticking point and to solve them These are all the things that I did these are all the things that helped me through this And I have this exact same thing in my wallet And when I'm feeling that approach anxiety, I take it out and I look at it Okay, and sometimes that's all it takes sometimes It's just that little edge that little edge that little push that pushes you into that Okay, look up when you guys are done with that While we're waiting for people to finish up does anyone have any questions thus far? Why would you give yourself three seconds? Don't give yourself three seconds. Okay, the reason it's not is because when you approach the first set you build momentum After you've approached the first set like you have approach anxiety before you've approached anything or like seven sets into the night No one has approached anxiety then right you just hit seven sets in a row Okay, unless there's some extenuating circumstance you have it at the beginning of the night when you walk in Seven sets into the night. You're like I could do this in my sleep Right, so three second rule is great, but I don't even advocate waiting three seconds Don't wait anything at all go in immediately first set and once you have that momentum established You realize everything else after that is easy. It's all downhill from there. Boom soon as you see it, right? And if you're if especially if you're going out at the beginning you're gonna go out to day game Right, especially if you go out to day game as soon as you walk outside of the house talk to people Talk to people walking to your car talk to people as soon as you park the car talk to everybody Those are your first sets so that by the time you see remember day game It's hard to find sets unless you live in New York City or a place where there's a huge number of people in one place You can't just turn set set set right? It's hard to find them So you got to be ready when they do when they're there you have to be already warmed up So you talk to people everybody you come across a lot of guys in my long-term program have an assignment And they have to talk every day seven days a week. They have to talk to five new people And it could be simple as someone in Starbucks. Hey, what's up? How's your day going? Okay, first off be warmed up all the time, right? You're talking to everybody. You're always warmed up, correct? So make that a habit you're talking to everybody now You're warmed up and you have that much more of a push to go do that Okay, second thing understand the excuses for when they come which is why we did a lot of those drills to Recognize when something is coming up and it's an excuse holding you back Okay, recognize that's an excuse and realize this is holding me back from going after what I want Last question This one right here. I would say put it on an index card or on a business card in your wallet You can put it on your phone things that a lot of times you don't look at it Okay in your wallet when you open up your wallet every time you see that right there It constantly reminds you sometimes on your phone. You're like, I don't know where it's stored You know, oh, I got a text message. You get distracted. You just have it there every time you open your wallet look at it Put it back. Okay Okay, let's move on Okay, now let's look at intergame and it's something a lot of people haven't touched on and The thing with intergame is that most intergame isn't practical and that's what sucks about it. It's ethereal, right? It's it's in the clouds. It's like oh, this will help me in theory, but most of it isn't practical So what we're going to talk about today is practical intergame the intergame that directly influences you and field that directly Influences what you're doing with your life. Okay, so the first thing is this idea that actions will influence your beliefs And it's one of the most powerful tenants in this whole intergame thing. What that means that the things that you do Influence the way you feel about yourself the things that you think about yourself I'll give you guys a quick story. I had a one-on-one student and he was pretty well dressed He was wearing like slacks or dark jeans. He's wearing like boots, right? And we were going shopping for new shoes. He took off the boot and he was wearing white socks I said, why are you wearing white socks? And he said, ah, I don't know man. I mean no one's gonna see him I'm wearing boots. I said, well, do you think you should be wearing white socks? He's like, well, no, but I'm wearing boots like I can't like just pull up my pants and see him Nobody's going to see these I said, okay, so I have a question for you then The guy that you're trying to be that attractive guy Does he wear white socks? And the students as well. No, he has good fashion and I said, then what do you think you are telling yourself? every day that you were white socks You're telling yourself that you're on him telling yourself that you're pretending you are poisoning your own belief system By your actions, you are telling your inner game. You're telling your belief system. I'm not that guy I'm pretending and I will never be that guy because I don't want to change these things that guy Does something as silly as where dark sucks? But I'm not doing that. So I'm just gonna forever pretend and hope that one day. I'm gonna magically transform into him That's the power of your actions And that's why this whole thing today this whole talk is on action because your actions are paramount your actions are what influence your beliefs Now practically speaking how does that affect us the things that you do in field things that you do on an everyday basis? Those things determine how you see yourself the beliefs you have about yourself Okay, so earlier you asked about you know in day game if you see that girl and you don't approach like how do you do that? Right and you said oh, it's tough like you say. Oh, well, you know like I have stuff to do There's all these things that come up right the problem is that when you don't approach that one set Let's be honest experience wise that once that's not that big of a deal Relative to four five six seven thousand cents right? Statistically insignificant the problem is that when you don't approach and you say oh, you know, I you make an excuse Oh, I have something to do. Yeah, I'm not gonna approach the problem is that now your actions are influencing your beliefs Now what are you telling yourself? What kind of man? Are you telling yourself that you are? Are you a man that goes after what he wants apparently not? Because your actions directly contradict that When you're in field and you see a set and you don't immediately go in and you think you know Like let me just think of my opener. Let me just think of what I'm gonna say and then I'll go in If you thought of a great routine after your opener you went and you hooked that set you took them home That would be more damaging to your inner game Then if you went straight up and got blown out Now that sounds crazy to us in theory that you could go out and get blown out and that's better for your inner game then Thinking about something great and going after it and actually quote-a-quote succeeding now. Why is that? It's because you hesitate it because of what you're telling yourself up here because when you hesitate no matter what the outcome is When you hesitate when you go in you tell yourself. I'm not a man of action. I'm not a man who believes himself I'm not a man who goes after what he wants instead. I'm a man who second-guesses himself I'm a man who isn't sure of himself. I gotta I gotta think of the right thing to say And that is much more damaging than anything else that you can do. Okay actions influence beliefs Okay, second thing approaching direct who here started out approaching indirect Fair amount. Okay. Who's still approaching indirect? Okay indirect being like opinion-openers who's still using opinion-openers Okay, appreciate the honesty, but stop stop Okay, and it's not that they're ineffective Because if you do them right, they are effective. That's nothing to do with it. It's that they screw up your inner game Just like everything else that we've talking about the big big problem that we found and I did indirect for two and a half Three years and the big problem with indirect is not that it doesn't work It's not that it's not it doesn't teach you dominance which it doesn't and that is a big deal The biggest thing is that it screws up your inner game You constantly poison your belief system and that is more important than anything else now We wonder how are we poisoning our belief system by asking a question by asking for an opinion you do because most guys Myself included we are using a pin we were using opinion-openers because we're afraid we're afraid of showing interest We're afraid of going out there. We're afraid of putting ourself out there. We're afraid of rejection We're afraid of all these things So when someone says you don't have to put yourself out there in fact You don't even have to face them you can just look away and pretend you don't want to talk to them that way if you ever get Rejected doesn't matter. You don't want to talk to them anyway Someone gives you that temporary crutch. You're gonna take it. I took it. I said this is the best thing ever I can approach without actually risking anything. I don't have to risk anything I can just pretend like I wasn't gonna talk to them in the first place that way if I get rejected It's no big deal right now the problem with that of course is that what do you tell yourself? Okay, the whole paradigm to indirect the whole theory is I am not worthy I'm not attractive. I'm not good enough. I could never get her. She is so far above me. I could never get her She is worth more than me. She is higher up. She has more social right whatever the case is We think we are unworthy and so therefore Because I can't just walk up because I'm unworthy. I should just sneak in under the radar I'll just sneak in till before she knows it. I'm in her pants, and I'll just sneak in now tactically Tactically if you do that perfectly it can work. The problem is that what happens to your belief system when you tell yourself I'm unworthy every day of the year Every day I'm unworthy. I suck. I'm unattractive. No one will ever like me for me I am a horrible miserable human being and that I have to disguise and trick women into getting into bed What does that do to your belief system? It poisons it and it screws it up Which is why some of the guys that have the worst inner game are indirect guys and That's because it's poisoning your inner game over and over and over and When you do that you start to believe those things just like you can do positive affirmations Guess what indirect is negative affirmations stop doing that Okay, the next thing perception is reality and a lot of us have heard this But a lot of us in the real world in the practical sense. They don't know how this affects pickup Okay, so the first thing is that you will find evidence for your beliefs And it's one of the strongest tenants in practical inner game That means no matter what you believe no matter how crazy it is You will find evidence for it and that could mean you believe that we were put here on earth by aliens You could believe in Invisible magic people in the sky you could believe in a whole cluster of different things no matter How silly that seems to everyone else if you believe that guess what you're gonna find evidence for it Now let's take something that we consider Perhaps the universal truth like let's say Brad Pitt equals attractive. I think most of us can agree on that now Let's say Brad Pitt believed he was ugly. Let's say Brad Pitt believed he was unattractive He actually at his core thought I am an unattractive individual girls don't like me What's going to happen with that belief is he will find evidence for it everywhere He goes and he will dismiss all of the evidence that goes contrary in the same way If you ever had that friend who goes to a psychic that thinks the psychic is freaking amazing and you sit down with her You're like he just got them last nine things wrong. You're like, oh, but the 10th thing was right. What's going on? She's dismissing because she believes in the veracity of the psychic She dismisses the nine things he got wrong and pays attention to the one thing he got right and in the same vein If Brad Pitt thought he was unattractive he would dismiss the nine women throwing themselves at him and the one women that were say it was say Into black eyes or into short Asian guys for that matter, right that one woman She wouldn't like Brad Pitt and Brad Pitt would be like, you know what? I'm unattractive There's evidence right there. Look that girl doesn't want doesn't want me therefore. I am unattractive and You know what he'll do that over and over and over until he establishes this mountain of evidence that he's unattractive Now why is that important to us? It's important to us because our perception is reality because whatever we believe we will find evidence for so if you believe you're unattractive You will find evidence for it no matter how true no matter how false that statement is if you believe You can never get a girl if you believe you're unworthy of any of these negative thought patterns these beliefs If you believe them you will find evidence for them. You will make them true So what we need to do then is we need to reframe all of these beliefs that don't help us Everything that we believe about ourself that does not help us and whatever we're trying to do we have to reframe them So let's take let's take a really a really for the most part clear-cut example. Okay, so Statistically I can find a mountain of evidence that says short Asian men are statistically unattractive So pretty much the rest of the goddamn world Okay, and there's literally scientific evidence that points towards that like they've done massive studies that show that yes The rest of the world considers Asian men, especially short Asian men unattractive Now you would think that would be as close as you get to fact That would be as close as you get to a negative to a negative belief But it's real and so you say at Fuji. Well if I just believe something else, then I'm being delusional I'm just not acknowledging that this is as this is ever real So what we do instead instead of being delusional or instead of being negative the solution is the sidestep and We look at now that problem from a different point of view Okay, so it seems clear-cut that short Asian men are attractive. Okay, but when we really look at it from a different angle What do we see we see what makes short Asian men unattractive? Let's look at the core causes the root causes behind that Okay, short why short unattractive because short is stereotyped with a lack of dominance with a lack of survival value Right with a lack of strength With the emotions of safety So it's not actually short. That's unattractive. It's the lack of those things She doesn't feel like she can experience that sense of safety with that short guy She thinks that if she's with that short guy that he can't protect her Right that he's not strong that he's not dominant all these things So what does that tell you that tells you that if you can show her if you can make her feel that safety If you can show her that you are not that stereotype that you are not beta Right that you are dominant that you go after what you want your men of strength Especially in that internal strength, then guess what short doesn't matter Same thing with Asian, right? Is it really is it really the specific characteristics that are inherently unattractive But Asian when you really look into it. It's not It's not actually a direct causation. What is it? It's stereotypes Now stereotypes happen to be true a lot and we all know Asian guys that are beta that don't speak up That are very passive that don't go after that what they want that are introverts Right for the most part our culture has influenced that that is correct However, it doesn't mean that Asian men are unattractive what it means is that those traits are unattractive Therefore if I remove myself from those traits all of a sudden I'm a short Asian guy. That's attractive See how those reframes work all of a sudden we looked at the same problem from a different point of view And we realized there's a wizard behind that curtain This is not what it appears to be and our perception our new improved perception is now our reality Does that make sense to you guys? good Last thing when you guys are in field again practical intergame you are not your results What does that mean to us? It means that when you're in field and you get a result whether it's good or bad That has no impact on who you are if a girl likes you that doesn't mean you're more attractive If a girl doesn't like you it doesn't mean you're unattractive If you get a great reaction or a negative reaction, it has no influence on who you are All it means is that you made some mistakes or you didn't make mistakes You did well or you didn't do well when a pro athlete wins a championship Does he believe or when he makes a basket or when he does something does he believe? Oh, I am I am Higher worth now. I am a better person now I am worth more in in just a theory of quality because I made that shot. No There is a separation between his skill or his sport and how he is and who he is and That same thing we have to apply to pick up because so many of us are reliant on The expectations and the validation and the outcomes of our interaction. You are not your results Which means if you blow every set that means absolutely nothing to who you are And if you hook every set it means absolutely nothing to who you are It is simply a matter of how you performed Simply a matter of did you make mistakes or did you not did you do well or not? Okay? Let's move on Okay fashion fundamentals Let's look real quick at fashion because not a lot of people take a look at this. Okay first things first the fit Absolutely critical and the vast majority people don't get fit right. Okay in a nutshell. This is how fit works If anything on any article clothing on your body is remotely baggy And I'm talking about t-shirts. Okay, you have a t-shirt and the sleeves right here There's a lot of excess fabric on the sleeves. Guess what? Sure doesn't fit you Okay, you know how a shirt is supposed to fit like the guy in the blue Okay, like El Topo t-shirt it fits tight around your arms And if you're not a big guy you go to the gym and you get that shit tailored Make sure your stuff fits Do not spend money on clothes that don't I don't care what brand they don't care how cool they look Okay, I spent about 300 on the suit and I spent about 200 tailoring it Which is retarded when you think about it, right? I spent almost as much tailoring it as I did buying the goddamn suit Why because I would rather have a suit that fits than a great suit or a cheap suit as a reasonable suit That doesn't fit. Okay the most important thing to fashion second thing accent pieces things that make you stand out Once you have clothing that fits right you have clothing Hopefully that's within this century in terms of style Okay, the next thing is you have to make sure that your clothing stands out and not everything But one piece one or two pieces stand out Okay, something that sets you apart from everyone else Something so that when you walk in the room there's something different It doesn't have to be crazy and it doesn't have to be 18 thumb rings It can be something little it can be something big It doesn't really matter what things but something to set you apart Okay, we call those accent pieces and in interior design. It's the same thing. You have all a room full of entirely white What do you have red pillow? They are accent pieces. They bring out the contrast and everything else. Okay, third thing Stereotypes is a big big thing with fashion understand what your stereotypes are Because you want to trigger the positive stereotypes when you need them and you want to downplay the negative ones You know what would happen if I was an Asian guy and I dressed like a typical Asian guy Now that would be great in a computer programming job would not be so great in a club Why because of the stereotypes? Because when I go in the club, I'm gonna have to work that much harder because girl as soon as I walk up There's instantly stereotypes being placed on me. Oh, he's dressed like an Asian guy like a typical Asian guy That must mean he's beta that must mean he's asexual that must mean he's not gonna be aggressive That must mean we can ignore him all these negative things So I have specifically engineered my look to break those stereotypes in the same way And I know this can be politically incorrect But in the same way when I was in the Marine Corps I had a boss who was like a but it was a black guy, but he was like Obama black guy, right? And he was like high up in that in our in our structure in the military, right? And he was a civilian and one day and he was just just like Obama, right? One day I walk past his cubicle and I heard him talking to his family and he sounded more like Kanye than Obama And I was like whoa whoa what happened to the Obama voice? That's totally different and what I learned in that split second is that he knows what Serotypes to trigger and which ones not to he knows and he has a master's degree, right guys very well educated very intelligent But he knows that if he talks a certain way if he acts a certain way if he dresses a certain way That he's gonna have stereotypes placed on him and those are not necessarily conducive to his career And in the same in the same vein all of us have certain stereotypes Bring out the positive ones guess what if I'm gonna go to a computer type job that I'm gonna dress like an Asian computer programmer I'm not gonna dress like this because they're gonna think no one with hair like that is spending any time on programming Okay Highlight the stereotypes that you have highlight the advantages that you have and downplay the ones that you don't Okay, let's talk about dominance and leading Okay in a nutshell dominance leading one of the most important things in the whole pickup being able to lead Okay, practically speaking. How do we do this? Okay? The first thing is take on leadership positions at work among your friends volunteer opportunities Take on all of us have opportunities where we can lead Where we can go about things and we can say you know what I can be the leader here I can take charge but very few of us actually do that So what I want you guys to do is any time you have that opportunity take those opportunities Okay, socially lead socially anytime. Oh, hey, where are we gonna go to eat? Don't be that guy I don't know where you want to go man Lead okay, always be taking the lead at the very least make a recommendation Oh, how about we go eat blah blah blah Chinese Thai Italian Find a solution you should and when you get to the restaurant and the waitress says oh, how many don't look to your friends That's what almost everyone does. Oh, and your friends like oh, we got five. Okay, cuz guess what he's stepping up He's leading if you want to be a leader if you want to be effective if you want to be dominant Then you must lead and you must lead outside of the field. You can't just flip it on when you're in field Oh, now I'm a leader now. I'm dominant and then I'm done in field. I'm just gonna go back to the way I was You have to do these things all the time. That is how we change. That's the essence of action Last thing commit a hundred percent. This is the core of dominance No matter what you do you commit a hundred percent Whether that's Kino whether that's opening whether that's pulling everything you do you act as if There is no possibility for failure. You just go a hundred percent with it You just go a hundred percent and everything else you just you know what if it doesn't work out It doesn't work out. That's fine. Okay, let's move on I'm gonna speed through these really quick conversational jujitsu Okay, these are the drills that teach you never to run out of things to say Okay drill number one word association. We've all played that game You find a word and you find what is associated with it. Oh red. What do I associate with that a robin, right? I associate blood I associate Wherever okay, you find a robin. What do I associate? Oh bird I associate as a teacher that taught us bird watching you do that free association over and over and over in your head Just like the game that we used to play as a kid Okay, that word association game you come up with these topics and you think about all these things in very rapid succession The things that it reminds you of this is the word association game I know it sounds like this is like how is it gonna help me in field? Helps you because the next drill is a thread cutting monologue This drill you take one topic and you talk about it. I'll say that topic is Lights I talk about how a friend of mine has like the professional lights in his house and because he's always shooting video Okay, what I'm gonna start doing is I'm gonna start thread cutting myself So the initial topic is lights and I started talking about oh and he's always shooting video So he's got this company and they do like like internet marketing I don't know if you guys are where internet marketing is really really lucrative Like I always thought like the financial whole thing like was was really about a business and about like getting a good job Like financially Some of the people that make the most money are people who go after what they want Okay, see how I've thread cut multiple topics over and over and over so this thread cutting drill Utilizes our word association and it thread cuts over and over and over and over if you can do that at home And you can do that consistently by yourself. You can do that in set and if you can do that in set You don't run out of things to say Okay, once we get that we have the investment value cycling Okay, that's where we ask a question. Where are you from we get any generic question? Where are you from? What do you do? We get a generic answer. I'm from California. I am a banker, whatever Okay on that response. We do one of two things we tease or we say something interesting about it Okay, so I don't have time to cover that in depth But remember that we ask a question we get a response we tease or we say something interesting about it That cycle permeates the entire interaction everything that you do in the interaction if you're doing things Correctly if you are a natural and you're doing things like that Then you are doing that cycle over and over and over again. Okay, last thing steering conversational topics take two conversational topics that have nothing to do with each other exit sign that's the easy one turbulence and sexual out that's an easy one turbulence and Nick sparks Okay, that's actually an easy one too. You take two topics. Okay, that are completely independent of each other And then you start talking about the first one and you thread cut like we have until you get to the second one And you have between 60 and 120 seconds to get from one topic completely unrelated topic to the next one If you can do that gentlemen, then you can steer any topic You can steer any conversation and I don't care what you're talking about She could bring up politics and you can steer that to sexuality You can steer any conversation you can lead any conversation and that drill teaches you to do that Okay, so again you guys should be taking notes on this stuff What I want to see from you guys is I want to see you guys implementing these drills I want to see you guys doing these drills Okay, I'm gonna skip a few Okay, so overcoming obstacles we talked a lot today about action about seeing these obstacles seeing these things and overcoming them Finding these excuses that are holding us back and going after things not letting them hold us back Okay, and we learned that failure is not the absence of success fires the absence of persistence Failure means that when you get knocked down you stop getting up again. It doesn't mean you don't get knocked down You get knocked down again and again and again And if you continue to stand up you will continue to be successful and overcoming obstacles the process of overcoming those obstacles relies entirely on that facet right there on Being knocked down over and over on blowing it sets over and over and continuing to get back up Continuing to go after things. Okay, a lot of you guys will hear the words. I can't in a variety of things You might have said them yourself. I want you to eliminate that from a vocabulary Instead of I can't I want you to say how can I and I want you to think how can I do this Instead of simply shutting down and saying I can't do that when in doubt air on the side of action Okay, so real quick those of you guys who are here last night Understand that I usually give free stuff away. So this year. I'm gonna give away a free boot camp same as last year Except that this year I'm gonna include one night of infield training somewhere around $2,000 the kicker though Said I'm not gonna give it away here kicker is that exactly a month from now on August 22nd Through September 1st You have one week and you have that week to send me a report of how you have been implementing this stuff That we talked about you can send me pictures you can send me videos you can send me text You can send me field reports I want to know how you guys have been been implementing and I'm gonna choose the best report that I get and you guys are Gonna get a free boot camp and in this way the most dedicated guy is going to be the guy that gets free training Like that's Okay, last thing Okay, throughout the whole last hour and a half. Okay, we've been talking about action We've been talking about going after what you want We've been talking about a lot of these concepts that underlie the fundamentals how to implement these fundamentals This is important because as a lot of you guys Started to realize the vast majority of people in this industry never get good and it's a sad fact I would say somewhere around 95% of guys never get good at this That means that this entire room one of you will get good statistically Right one maybe two maybe three somewhere in that ballpark. That's what you're looking at in terms of people getting good That's sad. Okay, and that's sad and the reason I bring that up is because I want you guys to be aware of the fact that of the 95% dropout rate that means in order for you to be in that 5% You have to be willing to do what the 95 are Unwilling to do if you look around the room and everyone else is Doing one thing are you willing to do more than everybody else if you aren't then you are by default in that 95% If you are or you are changing to become that that is how you get to that 5% That is how you achieve success. That is how you go after and you achieve your goals. So if you guys if you guys Remember one thing about this whole hour and a half talk and you only absorb and remember one thing It is that action Action is the name of the game going out and doing these things Having these goals and going after them setting timelines Going after what you want. That's what's going to make you successful. That's gonna What's going to put you in that 5%? I want all of you guys to buck the trend I want all of you guys to be in that 5% and I want all of you guys right now I want you to sign your notes and I want you to write the date Right now write the date and sign your notes and that signature is going to be your vow It's going to be your promise To me and to yourself There are all these things that we've written down. We will do these things We will go after our goals. We will implement these things same as you guys at home We will implement these things and Every Sunday I challenge you guys or once a week I challenge you guys to go back through your notes and to look at them every week say am I doing this am I doing this? continually update go through your notes read those notes every week and I'll tell you what's going to happen one day You're going to look through those notes and One day perhaps in the mirror perhaps in the far future You're going to look through those and it's going to be like your everyday routine and you're going to look at Those notes and the pages are going to be torn the pages are going to be weathered and you're going to see those notes and You all of a sudden it's going to dawn on you How far you've come all of a sudden those goals that you wrote in those notes. It's going to dawn on you I've achieved those multiple times. It's going to dawn on you. How far you've come in all of this How much you've been able to accomplish by doing all of these things and It's it's all of a sudden you're going to realize all of this stuff all of this effort all of this action Contributed to me achieving those things. Okay, and you're going to see the date You're going to see July 23rd 2010 and you're going to see your signature and what you're going to realize is that was the day July 23rd 2010 That was the day that everything changed because that was the day gentlemen that you all took action Thank you If you have time Okay, all right, I'll take a couple questions because I have time Yes, I just wonder if you could tell us what your background is like where you came from before as far as where you are now and What I would say real quick. I would say watch the 2009 Speech because I went for like a half an hour. I like how bad I was I had pictures and all kinds of stuff But in a nutshell I came from a place like a really dark place I came from a place where not only did I not have abundance. I had a massive scarcity I was 20 years old and I'd never held the girls hand. I Had never obviously kissed a girl obviously a virgin right complete lack of anything to do with with women I had nothing right so I started with this with basically almost on an empty slate I had no experience whatsoever and That's what drove me forward because every step of the way I saw that improvement. Okay, but I went into it in depth So take a look at that, okay? What was the investment value cycling again? Exercise investment value cycling is that drill where we ask a question like where are you from? What do you do? Okay, and we get a response like I'm from California. I Am a banker or I work at blah blah blah on that response You're going to tease you're gonna generate humor from that or you're gonna say something interesting and If you'll notice We all say in the community. Oh, don't ask questions. Yeah, I don't ask questions. That's really bad questions are bad You should make statements which is in essence, right? Especially they say don't ask boring questions. Don't ask where you from this boring question So we've been hearing this over and over now what happens when we go with our natural friends What's the first thing they say? Oh, hey, what's up, baby? Hey, where are you from? You're like, well, how's this guy taking this girl home? That was the first rule We said not to break and every time that's what he's doing. Why is that working? The answer is that he's asking that question and he's following up with something funny or something interesting He's not following up with what we're following up with which is worried from California. Oh, cool Do you like California? That's gonna get you blown out Okay, but he follows up with teasing or he follows up with something interesting and all of a sudden He's now contributing to the conversation all of a sudden. He's giving value all of a sudden now He's in an interaction. Okay, so what you guys need to do is do that drill by yourself By yourself ask yourself. Where are you from? Think of a random city Orlando, LA, New York And then say if she said this, how would I make fun of her? How would I tease her? How would I joke around? How would I be funny or how would I be interesting and if you can't come up with something right away? That's okay. That's part of the drill when I first did this It took me 20 minutes to come up with something every time that you can imagine in field how awkward that is But guess what I did this over and over and over I did this for 15 hours a week for a year 15 hours every week because I'm not fast on my feet I'm not a guy who's really quick who's really like witty and I come up with stuff So I did this for 15 hours a week and you know what? After a year all of a sudden it appears that I can think of things Make sense Where are you right now in relation with the dating and women are you in a relationship and Where do you see yourself in the future with women in dating? I did the you know, you guys all know where I started from once I started to get results I wanted to try the MLTR thing okay the multiple long-term relationships mostly because when you start from zero anything is cool, right? And I didn't want to get like sucked in and and settled down when I wasn't ready when I hadn't had that skill yet Right, so I did the multiple long-term relationships for probably two or three years and I did that and I juggled between Two and five five is not recommended at all by the way And so it's just it's a pain right and so I did that for a while And I learned how to manage relationships and I learned how to have a girlfriend really because Until like having a girlfriend is a skill like anything else And if you don't have practice at that if you're not actually doing it then you're probably not good at it I'll tell you right now my first girlfriend. I was awful and that's why she broke up with me I was just I just thought oh we live together. I don't need to hang out with her like we're in the same room I don't need to like take her out at stuff. That's stupid like I'm always with her right that stuff We'll get you broken up with real quick. Okay, so I learned how to manage relationships I learned how to manage multiple relationships, and I learned how to deal with the jealousy issues And I learned how to deal with a lot of these different things with relationships and there came to a point where I realized you know what I really really like this girl and Basically, I like her enough to where I want to I want to go to the next phase And that next phase is obviously a girlfriend exclusive girlfriend right and so at that point I basically quote-unquote graduated right from juggling multiple to going back to one and it's it's kind of full circle Because when I started out I started out because I had broken up with that or she had broken up with me for that one girlfriend Right and it's come full circle and in that sense I feel like the holistic process has kind of come full circle right and now I'm back to learning all over again And in that same vein no matter what you do you start off learning you get like better better You know your intermediate now you're advanced now you're teaching other other people and everything and then boom You're right back to learning good and that applies to everything that you do and that's why it's so important to have that Mindset of always a student always learning. That's why it's so important to keep an open mind And I don't care who's talking. I don't care who's on stage. I don't care if I agree or I disagree I always forget everything I know because just like you guys I'm learning and I'm in that continual process of growth Make sense No, no, so I have a girlfriend now. Yeah All right, thanks man. Appreciate it guys. It's all we have time for give it up one more time DJ Fuji Well done