 Felt all the cloud all right Joining us from Chicago, Illinois is Azar Usman. He's been on this show before we love him. He's back. Azar Usman is a stand-up comedian actor writer playwright producer And I guess I have to mention this don't hate him. He's a lawyer. Oh You're a lawyer Former former man once a lawyer always a lawyer Azar is one of the hottest stand-up comics based in Chicago CNN calls him America's funniest Muslim and Georgetown University identified him as one of the five hundred most influential Muslims in the world but more importantly Dave Chappelle for whom Azar has opened more than 50 times Dave Chappelle calls Azar Usman Untouchable You can watch Azar in season two of Patriot. Congratulations. Thank you. It's been picked up. It's on Amazon you are joining us in Chicago, but you will be in New York on July 20th You're doing an hour at the comic strip at 9 30 July 20th as part of the last show of The third annual Muslim funny fest Which is organized by the great Dean Abedaya who's also a lawyer Also a lawyer. Yeah, that's true. All Muslims are lawyers, right? It's part of the religion We have a lot more in common with our Jewish cousins than you might think I should also mention that Azar wrote the Historic White House Correspondence Dinner Performance for Hassan Minaj Congratulations. Thank you, but I was I wouldn't say I wrote it. I was one of the team members I did contribute heavily toward the closer which I was quite proud of but thank you Well, I like to get writers in trouble Okay, because It's just you know, everybody says that my mother has friends when I go to a party They'll say he writes the triumph the incel comic dog show. No, don't do that I'm I just by the way now we met I you just told me we met in In Iowa, right? Correct. Correct. Yeah, when was that last last year about last year? Yeah, about summertime. I think last year Smigol was working on his triumph 2016 election coverage, you know peace for Hulu and I know you were a writer on that project and then I just got a call out of the blue God was it for my agent? This sounds so Hollywood. I don't think it was for my agent even I think it was just one of the producers on the project was trying to find a Guy to play like, you know generic Muslim-looking Arab dude for this gag that you guys were doing at a gun show And I think you I think it was what's his face Isaac Isaac. Yes. Yeah. Yeah Isaac Federer he so he just started googling and They couldn't find anybody and then he told me the story that Smigol was like look look in Chicago You know, it's close enough to Iowa So he just typed it like Muslim comedian Chicago and then he's like stumbled upon me online And so that's how it happened. He just hit me up and he was like, can you be in Iowa tomorrow? And I was like sure So yeah, it was an honor to meet you and like I said, I started telling you before we started rolling You know, I have a very I'm on the fringes of show business And I've been a very I've been very deliberate about maintaining kind of like an indie underground stand-up career Well by doing this show, you'll remain there. Yeah, that's exactly what that's precisely where I reached out to I consider you an underground legend You know, I looked at I'm tongue-in-cheek on that one because I do have so much respect man for You know the veteran comics who have found their own way and you know Look you're balls deep in show business and you have been in a million things and written down a gazillion things And you know, you're a comics comic man, but as far as like being able to maintain a pretty private life You know, you can still walk around and people are just like think you're another person. Yeah, it drives me It drives me crazy. Yeah, I mean I could see why I would drive you crazy if you want to be famous But I kind of see that I see it as a nice altitude man. I'm not gonna lie. I want to be really fat I want to I want to have a reason not to be able to leave my apartment See, it's easy to say that though, man, but be careful what you wish for I know you're joking You know famous people like that the trade that famous people make I feel like which they don't often don't realize They're making until it's too late is their privacy for celebrity. Yeah, so I realized recently like I would like to be Like a solid Sealist famous celebrity Like that's a life goal of mine Like I want to be able to just maintain and make a comfortable living doing stand-up with an audience that wants to come and see me But at the same time like when I don't want to have anything to do with it I could people just leave me alone and I can live my life with my four boys. Yeah Well for me fame would be nice I'm going through a divorce and they just dig through everything. Oh, they want The lawyers just they want stuff on you and I'm an ascetic, you know, I'm not ha-said it's static I said it. I said it. Yeah, I got you. I know it's you know, as I pointed out To opposing counsel you can dig but the reason I'm getting a divorce is I'm boring. There's nothing on me But you keep searching I was with her for 30 years But you know, I'm like There's there. I'm an open book. I mean, I probably don't want my porn sites Look dad. I mean, I wouldn't you know, I probably wouldn't want people to know You know, I don't know. I don't even care about that I'm just sure I think it's generational also by the way You realize that in our lifetime like probably since the advent of the internet and certainly social media, you know Privacy is over Like people young people my kids who are like 15 13 10 and 8 they don't even have a conception of The notion that there's a distinction between public and private space. Yeah, can I just interrupt you for one second? Sure I said the same exact words And you know what they said? Put down the binoculars get off the ladder and stop looking through that window, mr. Feldman You are not stop, I love it Such a joke writer. I think jackass is They have no sense. They have no sense of Of privacy It's no but it's I'm being I know it's funny and it's all that's all there is junk And I'm being genuine like the let me give you a perfect example If you are at a party, okay, you're whatever I'm assuming I don't know how old you are But whatever you're you're in your let's say 50s. I'm being generous What I didn't I can't hear you. Who am I talking to you? Let's say you're in your 50s, right? Who are you in my 40s? I'm in my early 40s. So who are you? Who am I? Are you here to change me? No, not at all. Okay. So my point though is You and I still have this shared understanding of like if we're at a party, you know What it's happening at the party pictures being that are being taken first of all just the notion of like I have a right to take a picture of you that that that that is a generational difference like that That was not okay. Just go and take a picture of somebody in a private space You know in my lifetime not until I don't know 10 years ago Whereas my kids have grown up in a world where it's like they don't even get the idea that like somebody would object to being filmed and Inside a private space. Mm-hmm. They don't even understand that idea. It's so weird I have a friend who's famous. He said to me that It's impossible to date women being famous because they stalk you on Facebook. Yeah God forbid you're at a party chatting up another woman a pictures taken and You get hell from her. Yeah, I mean, and that's a very practical thing I what about the more fundamental problem which is, you know, once you're famous like you don't know why people like you exactly But I already am there Right people don't like you anyways, right? That's the other thing on this show. I talked to Bruce Smirnoff about this I'm already screwed up You know, you can like me because I'm funny. You can like me because I'm nice Or you can like me because I'm famous and some of it will rub off on you I don't care just as long as you like me. Sure. I mean, there's different ways to live That's certainly a way to live but I think there's a lot of people who are hung up on like, you know I want to be loved for me and I don't want it to because of my you know money power fame Those are the three things that once you have if you're a rich person, you're a famous person You're a powerful person Part of the problem becomes, you know, you're always suspicious of people's motives. Why do they want to be around? What do they want from you? You know, I have enough rich famous or powerful friends that I'm just like I don't know it seems like it's not that it's not all that it's cracked up to be if you had a if you had a Pick if you said all right, I can have a wife what you do Yeah, she's gonna love me either for my money my power or my fame Of those three. What do you think is the most innocuous? Right the least grading on myself. Yeah, I would say probably money You think money is a nice thing to be loved for not no I think it's a horrible thing to be left for but it's the least horrible of those three Why? Because money is really a stand-in for security for most people go on So I think that you know what people want everybody wants to be loved That's this is my starting point my thesis is that everybody is after the same thing which is that everybody wants to be loved and Part of feeling loved for every person is different But in general, it's the feeling of you're being taken care of this person cares about you and they care about your Well-being and they want to help take care of you and Money is such a thing that enables in a very practical kind of way more than fame more than power Money enables a person to feel like okay, at least I know I'm taking care of my needs will be met I'll have a roof over my head. I'll have clothes on my back I'll have three meals to eat if you're actually rich then it's like I'm living a comfortable life I have luxury in my life. I can take vacations. I can have a pool I can have a fancy car blah blah blah so all of that ultimately to me is just a branch of Feeling security and comfort which you know is the least of the three things that I could knock on because everybody wants that You're saying money is security I'm saying it represents for a lot of people security. I agree with you. Yeah, and yet we live in a country Where nobody has financial security anymore? We have a time of economic slavery, man. Yeah, and we have homeland security I'm being serious here. Yeah. No, I know and homeland security is all about making us feel secure against Muslims against phantasms phantasms black people Latinos they make us feel secure against you know, we don't have to worry about Muslims and Mexicans and black people but the one thing that we're truly insecure about is Our financial future that they won't address they want to dress in fact on the contrary. They will you know give hundreds of billions of dollars of Tarp bailout money to a small group of bankers mm-hmm who basically danced on the grave of the US taxpayer That's what happened. Yeah, absolutely So okay, so now it's Orwellian man. It's Orwellian. We're living in a you know It's it's new speak so much of the terminology the labels used by both media and government They actually indicate the opposite of what they are That's just a mark of the time we're in, you know, it's like you can deconstruct. I was just talking to a friend of mine Recently, he's like, you know, he goes I get it He's a very easy left-wing kind of liberal, but he's like I get all this hater hatred of so-called political correctness Coming from the right. He's like, you know, why do we use the term trigger warning? He's like, that's what you use when you're about to shoot somebody. Mm-hmm Trigger way is a micro aggression micro. That's what you call when you drop drop a smaller bomb Rather than a large So it's like you're using these terms trigger warning micro aggression safe space like wait Are you unsafe like you're at a college or a university? You're at an elite private Ivy League University. Somehow you're unsafe So the terms we use end up actually producing the opposite effect. You're using these terms I want you to give me a trigger warning. I want you to watch your micro aggressions I want to have you in a safe space But all of that term terminology is actually just making you feel less safe less secure and more paranoid Do you play colleges? I play a lot of colleges. Yeah, is it possible for a Muslim comedian to be politically incorrect? I mean as an experiment I would love to do this. I wish wow my show is pretty is getting pretty I did a very kind of you know, PG Disney, you know friendly family friendly You know pardon the reference but Cosby's kind of friendly show for a long time And then my stand up just started getting more political and more honest and it's gotten to a point where it's pretty It's pretty It's pretty political man. I mean, but is it politically incorrect one of the things the triumph did in Philadelphia during the convention is He decided this was one of the this is the heart. I mean anyway, I just love the triumph What did he do? So during the Democratic Convention we go to Philadelphia and Riding the Hamilton craze of African-Americans and people of color playing our founding fathers We hired an African-American Comedian in Philadelphia to dress up like Ben Franklin and we said We have ladies and gentlemen in front of Independence Hall From all these white Democrats we have the guy who plays Ben Franklin from Hamilton and The guy wrote a rap right and it was it answers my question. Can a person of color Politically incorrect. So he talks He does this rap about it's been Franklin It's the Ben Franklin rap about how freedom and the Constitution and independence is all about taking white women from behind and Oh my god, and just stuff about the booty and the the police and going down and get any and To some people's credit, they were offended And we're sitting in a truck watching this It is they are Constitution constitutionally incapable of Seeing a black man as politically incorrect and and I forgot the name of the comic who did this He was so funny and he was just trying to prove that point Do you get history? So you're at you're at a your work? Well, let me tell you something when you was telling the story and the offensive things the guy was doing I have to I have to confide in you after I have a confession to make okay How long has it been since the last time you were here? Father David Felt all the clowns. I have committed many comedy since among them among them the fact that I I love the fact that a Muslim is To a Jew perfect. Yeah, that's America What what I was gonna say was what I saw what happened to What's her face Kathy? Griffin Kathy Griffin. What's her face is it actually that's what a lot of People said after her plastic surgery Please tell me your friends with her. I love Kathy. Okay, good. I don't know her. So I don't love her and she's she's beautiful I really don't like to do that. You know, it gets so much of that you remember that VH1 show Where they were just like diss celebrities. Yeah, I forgot the name Yeah, so I got her asked to do that and I was just like I don't want to be part of this whole I think that's part of what's wrong with celebrity culture It's just like, you know lowest common denominator making fun of the way celebrities luck or whatever. It's just stupid. Anyhow, she the gag that she did of holding Trump's bloody head Like I had a thought like I had thought of that idea as like imagine me doing that shit and that is like to me it's a Experimentally just in my mind as an artist like isn't it isn't an idea like that the very limit of free speech Testing the limit of free speech You're the lawyer not me. Well, yeah, I mean, I think that it's legal But I wouldn't do it because it would basically sabotage my entire life and career and probably, you know Put my family's safety at risk, but but ultimately like, you know, it's a perfectly legal Expression of political dissent, you know, I mean it's and she's a comic and it's an artistic photo taken by a provocative You know photography Photographer who is doing it as a piece of political art like I honestly don't have any problem with it It's fake outrage to me. I was not offended by it. I don't think Kathy Griffin is gonna sneak over the White House fence with a guillotine. Why did she apologize? Yeah, she's not gonna behead She's not gonna behead Donald Trump. I Think the right wing when they come for you, they're pretty scary if You know, if you're a public figure, right? So you have to either at that point Choose to double down dig your heels in and be like no, I'm not gonna apologize or you just have to cave to all that pressure Yeah, I think being scared is Scary, I mean when you're scared like with some scared like for her safety or scared for like her professional career I think just the issue of have you ever been scared? Have you ever been paranoid? I think that's the difference between Republicans and Democrats I think Republicans are scared all the time so they don't realize that they're scared I think Democrats are occasionally scared and when they do get scared, it's terrifying So they relate to other people who are scared. I think Kathy Had is pretty fearless I think she had a moment of fear Interesting that's human It's it's it's to me. It's the hate crime argument. I believe that certain things are hate crimes and they should carry a Larger sentence more a stricter sentence and I always say anybody who doesn't understand the necessity of a hate crime has never been frightened before Interesting. I haven't figured out I feel about hate crimes. Have you ever been frightened? Have I ever been frightened? Um, yeah, of course. Yes. I'm a human being. I think that every human is probably I mean besides. I think I'm pregnant Have I ever been frightened have you ever been frightened on stage? I Guess frightened is too broad of a question like frightened that am I bomb or frightened that I might get killed or attacked Have you ever been frightened for being a Muslim in America? That's a great question, man You don't have to answer that But I mean I think the answer is yes. There's been a couple only a couple of times, but yeah, there have been times. I Was okay. I'll tell you know one time I went to this Event I was performing actually was like a Muslim Conference of like educators or something, you know, it was like a really, you know, nerdy kind of thing but they they booked me as a part of their entertainment wherever and Turns out this they had gotten some local press. So a bunch of like Muslim hater groups turned out to protest So I was like, yeah, let me just go out there. I'm a comic I'm just gonna have fun and just meet these people and see they were they were like their Westboro Church Westboro Baptist Church type people holding these huge signs, you know, you're gonna burn in hell and I was like, okay Whatever, so I just went I was having fun at me with these with this guy And I already know that I I can talk to people, you know, I'm a comic So it's like I'm gonna be funny and there's something funny about the whole situation I'm gonna talk about that I had people laughing even people from the from there You know, some of the protesters were just like seeing how funny the interaction was But then this guy like one of the head guys of their group. He started getting really You know, like when you're busting some of these balls and then suddenly they'll be like, yo You want to take this outside type of thing? So he just flipped on me and he started just like looking in my eyes and like, you know, I want He's like you want to you want to you know, we could we can do something about this So like he said something to really cryptic and that was the only time in my life for a moment I was just like dude, this guy could have a gun right now, you know, like I'm standing outside this venue. This is unsafe. I should just back down and leave So I just like smooth it over and I was like, no, man, it's all we're all good here You know, I respect your right to your views and I wish the best and I just left But that was one time where I thought to myself like, wow, this guy seems like one of these crazy People, you know, you know, there's where their lights go out When you look in their eyes, all of a sudden the lights have gone out. Yes. Yes Thank you. It was one of those moments. Yeah. And by the way, let me also mention I don't know if people know this because it's like it hardly gets reported on the press, but you know, there's been multiple Instances of this type of protester group. I'm talking about showing up outside of mosques in America with weapons Arm to the teeth like in in, you know, in parts of the country where you can carry a weapon If you have a if you have a permit, they will show up with weapons like strapped guns rifles ammunition like Rambo type Outside of mosques, man, little women like women, little kids going inside to pray and these people are just like chanting and shouting outside of a mosque fully armed And that doesn't get reported on but that's that stuff is extremely frightening. It's interesting that you bring that up because on the triumph show that you were on We went to a gun show and the idea right Was what? Well, as I first thought when the gag never happened, right? Because we got we got we got kicked out. Yeah We got kicked out of the out of the gun show. But the idea as I recall was to go with triumph To actually know triumph would have his own booth at the gun show. So it's like all the other regular sellers and normal, you know, vendors of various rifle and gun products And then triumph has a booth there and then throughout the gun show There would be multiple characters planted by the producers like myself dressed as like looking like basically a terrorist from the Middle East A gay a black dude looking like basically a thugged out gangster You know a Latino guy looking like he's a criminal or a criminal part of the criminal element And you know playing up basically all the stereotypes that are typically the kinds of people that You know right-wing Republicans kind of hate on are scared of and certainly don't feel should should have a gun And and basically these guys going from booth to booth trying to get a gun Everybody turning them down and then him go them going to triumph who's of course like yeah We're guns for everybody, you know, we believe me. We believe their arms And it's a it's a elaborate. It's a brilliant Wasn't it wasn't also the idea that you were dressed sort of to look like Osama bin Laden And wasn't weren't we gonna charge people to hunt you down or something? Well, I think that I Was never Fully in on Range of the gang. I think triumph was gonna charge I think as I recall trying we did a couple of we tried with a couple of people were we would give people an actual gun That's right The gag evolved into that because we got kicked out and then we tried to make the best of it outside Do you remember that we set up to set up the van and try to have triumphs booth outside And at that point pretty much all the other actors had gotten nicks like it was just not gonna happen But I was just standing around watching and then you were like yo go just go in there And I just like creep into the frame Swigol is operating triumph telling this random white guy like You gotta give him a three-minute head start, but he's a slot. I remember trying to say but he's a slow runner You can You can hunt this Muslim. Yeah, and then he's trying to turn to me. He's like My family is my family will get paid and take it care of in Afghanistan And the whole thing we got cut out obviously from there well we got thrown out of the gun show That was it was creepy. It was that gun show guns creep me out. They really do and I walked around I took pictures of what they were selling. It was a lot of borderline Plastic a bomb making paraphernalia stuff for that You would you know stuff that looked like it was for destroying buildings, you know construction type equipment but it was obviously So just to blow things up and some you know borderline Nazi paraphernalia. I took pictures of it Oh, yeah, a confederate flag because I mean Yeah, it's it's it's I Reminded it reminded me of my mother's basement Hello, yes, I'm here when I'm saying is my mother Yeah, I'm not see paraphernalia. Go ahead. I'm sorry for everything. Please tell me you're joking of course on Stranger things have happened man. I have my people who collect all kinds of weird stuff. Yeah. Yeah, in fact Bruce Smirnoff is on the show today he collects World War one memorabilia, which is acceptable German pith helmets and those kind of things, you know That's that's passable Hey, yeah, you know gun control Started because of black people This is I remember how we came up with the idea to go to a gun show with triumph we were talking about the second amendment and how Gun control began first under Dred Scott when Tawny Chief Justice Tawny, I don't know if he wrote the Dred Scott opinion, but he was the Chief Justice When that issue When that was issued one of the excuses for not freeing slaves was if they become citizens then they can gain access to guns We have a second amendment. We can't allow freed slaves To go in and buy guns So that was like the first well, let's complete that thought they'll have access to guns and then they'll come back and kill us As well they should That was the fear. Let's let's be clear about what the fear was. Yes So that's why we can't let these black people get guns. Uh-huh. That was the logic What what often happens is We project our fears and our thoughts on to others in other words Tawny is Thinking hey if I were a slave exactly that's what I would do Yeah So gun control started in modern history under Ronald Reagan in the late 60s when the black Panthers Showed up in Sacramento. Yeah Toting right famous the famous Malcolm X speech Worth listening to you because it's still 100% relevant today the ballot or the bullet And what is that? I don't know anything about that. Oh, you got to listen to the speech I mean, it's brilliant, but it's basically his thesis about you know, how the big debate that activists ultimately run into is Whether they believe in Inter-systematic versus extra systematic change. I don't know what that means Working within the system or opposing and saying the system itself is fundamentally corrupt We need to basically burn it down and start over. It's it's it's unresolved. It's unsolvable. It's unresolvable It's irredeemable. It is fundamentally corrupt and and Trump would believe that Well, he would say that but he's also, you know chosen to within the system work it become the president Now occupies the most powerful seat in the you know, the American democracy So, you know, he's he's done a wonderful job. It's back to the point. I was making earlier like using words that to mean their opposites You're going around talking about condemning You know the the takeover of American democracy by corporate interests and banks and billionaires and it's like dude You're one of them. Mm-hmm. You are a billionaire. You're you're me How can you talk about anti globalist agenda when your name is on buildings all over the planet? How does that make any sense? Well, your name is on buildings all over the planet, but that's because you're tagging Go ahead. That's the extra systematic change So so so yeah, I just make bad jokes on the show. You know, it's you got to try it, right? They can't all be home runs Anyway, nice if some of them were anyway, my point my point is that The ballot or the bullet I mean Malcolm X's speech and so basically his thesis, which I still believe by the way Is that black people in the United States? If they ever want to do anything as far as making real Significant progress from within the system the Legislative and the governmental system that we have they must become a block and then and then he says register to vote But don't vote Hmm be courted by politicians as a block I think the population of black people America's what 12% or 18% what is it? Yeah So imagine if that entire block on the basis of nearly nothing more than than yeah, people say well You're just being reductionist and looking at it from a standpoint of race. It's like yeah. Yeah, we are yes, because so you're saying Let me get this straight. You're saying that Malcolm X wanted African-Americans to register to vote Be locked and become a block of 12% of all registered American voters and then not vote not vote for the explicit purpose of you know sort of Leveraging that power the voting power in a real way this is like getting politicians You know what this is down and yeah, actually actually sit down and talk to them find out. What is their agenda? What are the policy issues they really want and the fine politicians who will in exchange for getting this voting power? Will actually implement real change. You know what this is exactly like every woman. I've met on jade Okay, and they say they they register with jade Vote they won't go on dates They're down with the j part not the date part. They're down with being courted the power the influence but Yeah, and they won't vote right So that's interesting. I I'm sorry for that. Oh, that's the great I mean, I mean look and the reality is you keep trying to sell them and get them to vote. So it's working Mm-hmm So that was his thesis, but anyway, it's I'm summarizing it But the idea of the ballot or the bullet the notion of you know, if you want a violence to stop right you the thing that gets ignored I would say in the vast majority of Civil conversations in this country when it comes to politics is the fact that out of one side of the mouth We want to moralize about how evil violence is which of course it is and Another side our country our foreign policy our military behaves in Arguably the most violent manner of any state actor on the face of the planet earth Right. Hey couple questions I'm tired of talking about it, but I haven't had a Muslim on the show this week except for you Okay, and Bruce Murloff Bruce Murloff And brother Bruce and brother Bruce Bill Maher Yeah, man So I've had Dean Abedaya on the show Brilliant guy and he wrote a brilliant takedown of Bill through having Milo Yaponapolis from Breitbart on earlier in the year I read Dean Abedaya's piece and it was just so well written. He's a lawyer He just made the case. Hmm. I think it's called Iraq when lawyers make a right. Yeah, right issue you got I haven't thought about this in a lot of time What is it issue rule? application something yeah conclusion, yeah, and I thought I Was gonna make an Iraqi joke. I apologize, but it was it was it was just so well-britten And he does not like Bill Maher and Bill Maher doesn't like him I think Bill is brave, but I think there's mental illness when it comes to his Antisemitism and by antisemitism. I mean the Muslim stuff because interesting. Yeah, they're Semites. I don't know that he's okay Here's my take on it. I wrote something by the way as well, but agenda which I chose not to publish I'm happy I didn't because my thoughts have been evolving but do you remember when Bill Maher and Sam Harris had that kind of face-off with Ben Affleck and You know Ben Affleck was pushing back on what they were saying and he was saying you're being basically racist you're being you know Foeb here phobic and you're painting all Muslims with a very broad brush now They'll see my movie about the Iranian host But they had this very interesting exchange and I would argue that actually that exchange was Perceived as less nuanced than it actually was Because I would argue that Sam Harris made a more nuanced point He said if you go back and watch watch the tape and I have very carefully He says a comment he goes Islam today is the motherload of bad ideas Okay, okay the qualifying term is today So he's actually commenting and a lot if you read his writings and I have you know what he's critiquing is politicized religion and You know the the the the only beef the only exception I have to his arguments is like hey Sam Harris I hear you loud and clear, but let's be even more clear. It's not just a Muslim problem Religion has been hijacked by politics across the planet Earth Zionism is hijacked Judaism right-wing evangelicals of hijacked Christianity Islamists of hijacked Islam The BJP and the Hindutva movement in India has hijacked Hinduism the violent extremists in the name of Buddhism I forget the guy's name in in Japan who's like literally Led like had had made violent terrorist attacks in the name of Buddhism it has hijacked Buddhism Like this is a global problem of religious fundamentalism So if you say Islam today is the motherload of bad ideas and what you mean by that is politicized political religion that is basically Islamism or Islamic fundamentalism Then you and I are in complete agreement and I would argue that's pretty much all of the critiques I've ever heard of Bill Maher of quote-unquote religion even including in religious has moving It's all it's like you all you're doing is proving over and over again that Muslims do bad shit Yeah, of course, they're human beings that has nothing to do with the doctrine of the religion or the teaching of the Profit or the classical teachings of the scholars or what have you like he completely glosses over any mention or any discussion of actual substantive, you know Questions of faith or morality or religion and just wants to talk about politics and identity We have no I have no disagreement with any critic of religion who has identified this problem of identity politics Having hijacked religion I completely agree and all religions not just is all religions exactly religion in the modern world has become synonymous with identity politics Hasn't it always been having they always said Hasn't it always been praised the Lord and passed the ammunition? Seriously, isn't it always with a crusade? It's a valid point of view I mean, I would say that religion the history of religion has is a complicated complex nuanced history that has definitely one huge aspect of it is what you're talking about this Empire Empire building violent kind of Usurping religion for purposes of the state and then it has this parallel track of like, you know producing beauty and spirituality and art and Music and some of the greatest Scientists were deeply religious people some of the greatest artists were deeply religious people. So religion has a complicated history I think that judging, you know something as Gigantic as a sphere of human life as Religion and everything that historically that encompasses in a sound bite is precisely the problem And he's not really helping I'm talking about Bill Maher. I don't think he's helping By having this conversation. He's free to have the conversation You know, I don't know I don't know bill personally, but I think it all comes down to I suspect that he is You know, simultaneously, you know a great comic. There's no doubt about that I think he's a very sharp and bright person and at the same time, like, you know, he's kind of nihilistic about the fact that You know, he wants to be he's a he's a celebrity. He's a famous guy. He's got a platform. He likes being provocative It's good for him. It's good for publicity. It's good to be provocative You know, I started watching Bill Maher's career carefully ever since he made that comment about You know back in when he had When he had the show on on ABC Correct and he called the the 9-11 hijackers, you know, brave Right and said they're you know, we're they're not the ones who are cowards. We're cowards Wasn't it Dennis de Souza who started that the right wing? bigot who kind of Intimated as I remember it on politically incorrect. It was Dennis de Souza who kind of intimated that they Weren't cowards and then Bill picked up on it. Oh, is that right? I think so. Yeah It's funny because Dennis de Souza is that you know, isn't he's a right wing piece of dung Yeah, he's he's we consider him in the brown Indian community as basically one of our uncle tops And what would his religion be? He's a Hindu as far as I know, I mean, I think he grew up in do He may have converted to Christianity. I remember reading something online, but suffice to say that he's he's a demagogue He's an ideologue He puts the dew in Hindu Now I need to Google this by the way That is what you're gonna look about We don't deal. We don't I'm obsessed with I'm obsessed with here. We go new atheism. Dinesh has been critical of new atheism, by the way Huh, all right. If you want to bring facts into this conversation He grew up in India So if you're gonna and what is he like did he go to Dartmouth or something as he Christianity Christianity and religion Dinesh attended the evangelical church Calvary Chapel. Did he get Laura Ingram pregnant? Did he look it up as long as well? I could tell you it says Dinesh D'Souza says that his Catholic background is important to him But he's also comfortable with Protestant Reformation theology So he identifies himself as a non-denominational Christian. Did he go to Dartmouth? He go to Dartmouth good question. Just make it up. You know, this is the David Feldman show We don't deal with truth Just say yes. Say he went to did he go to Dartmouth? I'm not gonna lie about that. He went to Dartmouth. Come on, man. I Think he was part of this right wing Cabal at Dartmouth you believe in that stuff man cabals and like Illuminati type two Well, I'll get to that in a second. Can you tell me whether or not he knocked up Laura Ingram? I think I don't Let me do this While you're looking that up, I should mention that we are talking to other Usman This July July 20th He's gonna do an hour at the comic strip on the upper east side of Manhattan. Come see him at 930 It's part of the third annual Muslim funny fest organized by our friend Dean Abedaya and now back to other osman With the answer was Laura Ingram knocked up by Dinesh D'Souza It seems that there is some relationship here Learning was previously engaged to Indian American political commentator Dinesh D'Souza They were definitely romantically linked whether or not she wasn't pregnant by him But the choir for the research The rumor The rumor is Laura Ingram remains unmarried fending off any issues of husband or divorce Wait a second wasn't she married at one time she was yeah, well the rumor is that She and Dinoosh What's the how do you pronounce his name Dinesh Dinesh? Made a baby That's the rumor that I'm trying to get started now I had heard a rumor that No, I I'm just you know I want no part of this rumor man. Yeah, I'm just I hear things what they're saying out there is Dinesh and Laura Ingram made a baby that didn't come to term even though both of them are Right-wing and pro-life. That's what they're saying. So that's the that's the talk So that's the if that if true would prove, you know hypocrisy like to a nth degree But I doubt it's true just because a lot of people who went to Dartmouth say that Interesting, you know how people talk people who went to Dartmouth in particular. Yeah, they're nasty gossips So let's return to that question asked you do you believe in that stuff? Do I believe in cabals? I think that sculling bones. I think there are cabals to get things I think there are conspiracies to get money power I think you can conspire among groups of Individuals who will all work together and remain silent to further their own Financial or military or violent ends the Mafia has shown that there is omerita that you can Kill and murder and steal and people will die before they turn anybody in Jimmy Hoffa there was a conspiracy to kill Jimmy Hoffa and Somebody did it Do you do you believe? What should we call it? Have you heard of this thing called? Bohemian Grove where I was naked with Richard Nixon where we're Industrialists meet near Stanford in the woods among the eucalyptus trees in the redwoods and they commit Homosexual acts to gain each other's trust Yes, I do believe in Bohemian Grove. I think that our spy agencies require men to Have sexual relations with other men Because it builds trust it goes back to Plato symposium Alcibiades the great Greek general Says in Plato symposium That the best love is the love between two soldiers Because they're willing to die for each other that transposes into Current day homophobia in that if uzer Usman and David Feldman were conspiring to rob a bank It would be in our best interest to have gay sex Because of the shame associated with it and then we'd have a special bond I would have something on you interesting and in you and That's what Bohemian Grove is about Wow really. Oh, yeah, it's like bringing Yeah, you bring Richard next it up and you say look we we can fund you we have all these industrialists who want to back you but we We got to trust you now take your clothes off And I I need you to blow General Westmoreland But I don't want to do it, but I don't blow general Westmoreland The reason I'm curious to ask you I'm being served by the way. I'm being absolutely serious about I know you are But I realize that some of your listeners might also be like he can't be serious. I'm absolutely serious. So my question is how do you Hold those beliefs when obviously So few people are even aware that Bohemian Grove is a thing and do you feel crazy? Saying those things out loud when most people would hear you say that and be like that can't be true Are you kidding me? I'm not saying it works No, just the fact that it happens. I'm saying that people what I'm saying is that there are some lunatics Who go up to Bohemian Grove as part of some club? Why the lunatics are they are they the most powerful and no, I don't think no, I don't think they're that powerful I just think that they try this crap and Occasionally some people fall into line and some most people don't but I believe there are these attempts to Create loyalty to create fear and I think the Bohemian Grove is You know is the framework for a conspiracy the same way the Carlisle group is the framework for a conspiracy in that You know We just gave Tony Blair a couple of million dollars because he went into Iraq You know, we'll give you the bright the Carlisle group is this investment house. They own Dunkin Donuts They do but they they do the bribe Ex-post facto in other words you invade Iraq and you kind of know that When you're done invading Iraq, there's a job waiting for you at the Carlisle group. Is that a cabal? Is that a conspiracy? Yeah, it is Is it a successful one? Is it pervasive? Nah, but it's a conspiracy. It's a conspiracy to bribe political leaders into doing something venal first and then collect the bribe afterwards So then okay, here's then here's the next question. Okay, if that if everything you just said is true And I personally have no problem. I mean, I actually think that a lot of this stuff is happening It's almost like open conspiracies like anybody who bothers to do a bothers to do a little bit of research and reading These are facts, right? I like to distinguish between what are referred to as 9-eleven a conspiracy. Yes Well, let me finish because people use the term conspiracy theory And I like to distinguish between conspiracy theories and conspiracy facts Okay, okay the fact that Carlisle group exists is a fact The fact that it has roughly ten billion dollars in assets is a fact It's involvement in, you know, multiple Political events of recent memory is a fact that can be established and demonstrated Etc. Etc. Right? Same thing with Bohemian Bohemian Grove. People will hear about it and be like, ah, that can't be true It's like These are facts like this exists. There's footage. By the way, Alex Jones as crazy as he is You know that he went into Bohemian Grove and has Footage that he put online really the first-ever footage captured of the actual retreat of Of these, you know people that that go in and participate in this in this gathering. So anyway, the point of all this is How do you then knowing that information? Kind of Not agree with Trump that it's all fake news Well, let me let me let me address that before, you know When I said 9-11 is a conspiracy what I mean is How many planes yet two planes flying into the World Trade Center one crashing into the Pentagon and the other one crashing in the field in Pennsylvania That was a conspiracy now There's no question that that was a conspiracy Now the question is how big a conspiracy How many Saudi Arabian princes were involved By the way, before before before you even get to that level of questions even the way you set it up You already there's a lot of question marks Because where is the plane that hit the Pentagon? I've seen those That I That to me in all honesty once you go there. I have a theory about this We frame the discussion in America You look into the abyss and then you question. Are you willing? to call the premise of America yeah, in other words the Kennedy assassination you dig you dig you dig and then you go Okay, I am not gonna question the premise of America and the same applies I think we're gonna find to to Putin. We're gonna dig. We're gonna dig. We're gonna dig and then suddenly There are gonna be breaks and people gonna say whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa stop Now you're questioning the whole premise of America and I think once you ask where that plane went At the Pentagon. It's like you're asking you're questioning the premise of America. You're that that that's the big question of all the things that one I can't answer and That's one of them. That's the third for me. That's the third rail and when you bring it up. I'm going No, I don't want to get let's just make sure I mean but I'll I'll I don't want to do the kind of No, it's fine. I mean, it's okay. Do you do you know where that plane went? I I think it might have I Was gonna make a joke, but no, that's please please. No, they had the answers I have no idea, but I think it's very bizarre that you know, nobody has seen a picture or footage of that plane Or even the fuselage or like, you know, whatever has been leaked is like so Unpersuasive fundamentally unsettling unpersuasive and leaves too many questions And then when you add that up with all the other question marks, you know building seven I mean the wither explosions or not all The footage of all the eyewitnesses from the day it happened saying I heard explosions. I heard explosions I heard it's like okay, and then all of that is just swept under the rug Ignored and we not a lot of talk about it because the Muslims are the bad guys like I'm sorry that that is Really really a bad. It's highly unpersuasive Well, yeah, the position I've settled on is I don't know what happened That's it. And what happened? I can't tell you. I don't know I Can tell you I don't believe in most of the fairytale that's been pushed on the American public I mean, oh, yeah, the planes hit the towers and melted everything the jet fuel was so hot Everything was destroyed, but they didn't manage to find a passport of one of the hijackers in the middle of the rubble in Manhattan Because it was made from a magical substance called bullshit Fuck out of here, man. I'm at this too So well, let me ask you a question about that and I hate having this conversation because I'm a coward Yeah, and I always right now My listener there's a segment of my listeners now who are going to just start writing about this turn against me Not you but just in general and Two things about this. I think 9-11 is like the Kennedy assassination. There's definitely a conspiracy. There were rogue elements within Somebody's government who let something happen in other words I think the Saudi princes turned a blind eye to Osama bin Laden. They may have contributed money. I'm pretty sure I think the Bush family and the bin Laden's and all that kind of stuff is very complicated and I Think the same thing happened with the Kennedy assassination. I think a lot of people turned a blind eye to Protecting Kennedy and Dallas. They weren't it was a more a sin of omission than commission It's the Warren omission that the Warren commission just they they didn't care They, you know, oh the president has the bubble top down. You know, what a case or I think that there are these passive aggressive Conspiracies that often happen where you know, you remember in Elementary school when somebody was about to get beaten up and you knew it was wrong But they kind of deserved it. So we'll see what happens Maybe I don't think they're really gonna fight Well, let's let's see what happens. That's what I think happened With 9-11 and I think that's what happened with Kennedy and it's pretty horrible. Yes And it has to be looked into I Think the passport that you mentioned is kind of like OJ's bloody glove right OJ in that Furman May have had his own little conspiracy to frame OJ and Left the bloody glove there and tampered with the evidence But that doesn't mean he didn't do it exactly. Yeah. Yeah, that's let me tell you something as a Muslim because I've obviously heard You know this debate happened Both in in public and private, you know with people who are fellow Muslims people who hate Muslims like just 9-11 and unpacking All the different layers of it, right and what what what is annoying to me is when Muslims will try to be like well This is all just you know Conspiracy and 9-11 was either an inside job or was you know, kind of what you're saying It was like a JFK assassination type plot and you know Bin Laden was just a useful idiot and the Al Qaeda was you know was co-opted for the purposes of this larger Conspiracy and they were just used they ended up being Classic examples of what in the Cold War were considered useful idiots. Mm-hmm. They want to attack America So it's like okay, we'll let we'll let them do it and we'll advance our own interests So that's the thesis that I've heard from you know, some people make and my my my pushback on that and my big problem With that is like yo any Interpretation of the effects of 9-11 that tries to absolve Muslims and the religion of Islam on the planet from from the fact that there are very dangerous radicalized Extremist violent elements who are in the name of religion committing mass murder is To me a very disingenuous position because these people do exist number one They are a massive problem and by the way number three. They are killing Muslims more than anybody else So this idea of trying to dissociate Islam and everyday Muslims from terrorism, which is a noble Effort and I and I applaud that at the same time should not venture into this almost like naive Pretending reality is not reality when in fact there are indeed Extremely violent elements on this planet who have as I said earlier hijacked religion for the purposes of politics and are indeed committing horribly atrocious and barbaric acts in the name of religion Mm-hmm, and that is a cancer within Islam that needs to be rooted out And so when I hear some of the comments made by whether it's Sam Harris or Bill Maher or even Trump and his ilk It's not like I don't understand what they're saying. It's that their language is so sloppy. They are often Painting with too broad of a brush Yeah Trump needs to be you know what Trump's big push for we need to call it Islamic Islamic terrorism or something like that, right? It's like, you know, the problem people have with the terminology is because no the whole argument that that is being made here Is that the terrorism is not Islamic it has nothing to do It is not sanctioned by the teachings of Islam. It is a perversion of the teachings of Islam So to call it Islamic terror, you know, does a great injustice and does the great deal of damage Even just cognitively and psychologically by constantly associating this thing that the violence and the political violence in the name of religion With you know, whatever a billion plus people who have nothing to do with it and in fact by the greatest victims of it So this this paradox this tension I would argue is at the center of so many of these debates Whether it's Islamophobia quote-unquote from the right wing or it's sort of the left wing Sloppy language being used by people like Bill Maher or Sam Harris That I think is both of them are ultimately doing a great deal of injustice to the actual conversation that they both want to have right That's just unfortunate. So I think that's a function of you know, that that that issue will be there will be addressed When more talking heads enter the fray who can push back on that narrative right now There's just not that you know, hello. Yeah, I'm listening. Oh that that you know That's the NSA Right, right. They're triangulating this conversation. We've been talking about the Pentagon plane and yeah and building seven two or too long So anyway, the moral of the story is man Well, we got we kind of got lost from one question I want to ask you though, which is that if one becomes aware of the level of You know collusion between the hyper wealthy the ultra rich eight billionaires according to Oxfam Have more wealth than the bottom half of earth combined Okay, if those if that level of of Collusion or cabal does exist and then further add to that the fact that you know Six media conglomerates own the basically the mass media in the United States When Trump says, you know, it's fake news and he's always talking about he's good for you know His ratings are so great. I think he's speaking in code. I think he's actually saying hey Don't forget media executives. Trump is good for business Hey all this call me all this call me hearing today and you know, even the impeachment I mean if they if they decide to impeach Donald Trump, the ratings will be through the roof Mm-hmm, you know all the executive all the networks will make money selling ads Because the eyeballs are worth money That's the business that that the media is in and we shouldn't pretend It's other than what it is and so when he says, you know, hey It's all fake news and I'm good and the ratings are great when I'm on television. I do your show It's like he's saying you're all fake news and you know, I'm good for business So just everybody keep the mouth shut. Let's keep the racket going and I keep the people, you know, bread and circus They're talking about me and Russia and this that and the other and and you know, Katie Kathy Griffin having to Apologize over this stupid picture. Whereas in fact what's happening on the ground Whether it's international or it's you know local Domestic policy they're continuing to ramrod the policies that they want through Congress. Mm-hmm. It's still happening. Mm-hmm So it feels a little bit like bread and circus and I feel like I don't know. I don't know what How an intelligent serious person is supposed to take the media discourse seriously because it by and large seems to be That Trump has a point when he says it's all fake Yeah, and the listeners to my show know that when I'm discussing Bill Maher Kathy Griffin And to some degree even comey testifying I feel guilty because it's easy It's not really policy. It's as you said bread and circuses and I think Podcasts are So powerful Yes, you can have these new wise conversations sure and the television by neat bites nature Are you familiar with this book by Jerry Mander? Yes? Kill your television. I met Jerry Mander. Oh my god. Really. Yeah, I would love to meet him Yeah, I read his book as a teenager man for arguments for the elimination of television Yeah, and I kind of ready it really affected me and I didn't own a TV for like a decade in my life And I just was whatever I was in my own universe And then I kind of ended up in show, you know in comedy and kind of tangentially in show business But I've been seeing it now, you know really up close and personal like every argument He makes in that book the fact that television as a medium is a reductionist medium that forces every conversation into a sound bite and you it is almost like impossible to have a nuanced Position let alone articulated in a meaningful way in a television ecosystem, right? And I would argue that really, you know smartphones and short-form content whether it's on YouTube or on Facebook videos now They've become really extensions of the same phenomenon of television. So it's a reductionist medium By the way, it's advertising driven So television is nothing more than a platform for the delivery of ads for the delivery of ads and its reductionism and soundbites and conflict Yes, there has to be conflict not information. It has to be Conflict and and that's the service that the false equivalency provides. It provides conflict Because you just can't tell people the truth because that's too much of a responsibility That requires too much. No, I So I really struggle with this man I think that podcasting it has a tremendous, you know possibility as a medium to really rival this this this other type of medium this would all these reductionist mediums and I honestly don't know if the same thing is gonna end up happening though because it's already seems to be happening You know the commercialization of podcasting that the practical need to have to make money off of it So you got to get a sponsor and before you know it I mean these advertise the same advertisers who are you know putting 60 billion dollars of ad revenue in Google's pockets every year and funding the entire ecosystem of all these hundreds of channels and Movies and you know pop culture and and and it's a handful of advertisers, man They basically run everything. That's the great point. That's what's being missed about newspapers. I think you read the same articles I've been reading in that Newspapers are Making money online. I'm not talking about the New York Times is making money through subscriptions They've kind of abandoned the advertising model for online like HBO Yeah, but you know, right your your local newspaper that covers your little city Those newspapers make money Unfortunately not for themselves. They make it for Google and Facebook in other words The Des Moines register They run ads on their website. They make money Yes, but Google is selling those ads and Facebook is selling those ads and that's a multi multi multi multi Billion-dollar business. Absolutely. It's in fact the most it's not an exaggeration to say some of the most sophisticated technology that exists on planet Earth Including the algorithms and the and the and the guts of the Google the architecture that runs Google Okay, some of the most sophisticated technology on the planet Earth Exists for only one purpose and that is to figure out how to commodify human attention to collect ad revenue, right? That's all it is and they have to be broken up Google has already set itself up to be broken up as alphabet. Yeah, and they have different divisions They have to be broken up as does I believe yes and Facebook it's a Monopoly it's not good to have Yeah, and it's good for everybody if you break it up Antitrust me Antitrust is good for people who own the company that's being broken up It also it forces diversification you when you break up AT&T That was the last big breakup ordered by the judge Green. I think in 82 or 83 That was beneficial to people who owned AT&T because they broke AT&T up into five separate Bells five separate companies Well, if you owned AT&T you've got stock in Five separate companies you own AT&T. We're breaking you up into five separate companies. The owners now have Stock in five Companies plus AT&T. It's good for everybody. It's good for the consumer and it's good for the stockholder Interesting to break these companies up. You're not destroying value when you break up a monopoly. You're creating it That's what people don't understand about Antitrust when you enforce was it the Sherman Antitrust Act? I can't remember. It's one of them there Or the Sherman and the Peba. I don't know You're creating if you when they broke up standard oil the owners of standard oil Got 12 different Companies that they now own stock in and all those companies start competing with one another Which is bad. So one of that if you own stock in all 12 One of them is gonna break through and become ExxonMobil and you own stock in it And then you'll break that one up and then you break well actually what's happened is all the companies that got broken up After the AT&T Antitrust action have all gotten back together again. Oh really if you trace the companies That got broken up in the 80s They're back together again. Yeah, that's the humor that's seen in in network Mm-hmm in the board with the famous board and that beating that baby Yeah, that that that that's everything man. He summed it up. He summed up the world that we are not living in We already were but it's just even more in your face now. Yeah standard oil Rockefeller standard oil was broken up Over about it took about a hundred years that it's back together again. Did you know Patty Shaskin? I I'm not that old I thought maybe you met him when you were young and he was old I think But I love network. I love hospital Did he write Marty? He wrote Marty as well. I think those are the three movies he won You know, he's the only three-time Oscar winner for original screenplay So solo screenwriter. Yeah, there's been a few others, but they had co-writers the only Solo screenwriter who won three times original screenplay Oscar. Hmm. It's amazing. You're a writer a playwright Well, I wrote so I did this one-man show in Chicago Which I ran in September. It's called ultra american a patriot act And I did it with a little theater company. It's equity theater company and then they told me at the end of it like Oh, yeah, by the way, we we we published the script as a play. I was like, what? So I became a published playwright and the show was actually recommended for a jeff award I don't know if you're familiar with the jeff awards. I had never heard of them But jeff awards are the basically like the tonys for chicago theater. Wow. So, yeah, I was really excited I got recommended for jeff award. I don't think he got nominated. I don't even know what happened after that But anyway, it was a fun experience. I did 18 performances of it and my plan actually Is to sort of update the show because I did that pre trump, you know, that was september of last year And then he won and um, you know, obviously I have some new material that is relevant to the same subject matter So i'm kind of updating the show right now and then I want to do a run of that Uh in new york and possibly la and then I would like to actually use that as the basis to film my First ever one hour special The one hour show that you're doing at the comic strip on july 20th It's basically yeah, it's a preview of that. That's the third annual muslim funny fest at the comic strip 9 30 I guess people would go to muslim funny fest on google google that and there you can buy tickets We can also just go to my website. I'll have a link up and all that other Before you go you'll come back Bro, I love you. I'm honored to be on your podcast brother man. Happy to come back whenever you'd have me You you got a brother a fan of yours You you know, I love your brother. Hey brother. Yes, brother Can you speak for all muslims? I want to end on one note here, of course, I want you to I I'm having you on the show to speak for all muslims. I will speak for all white people Although i'm not white. It's bad. You get to speak for jews. You don't get to speak for all white people Yeah, that's you know, i'm kind of that's what i was told. How did jews become white people in america? Can we talk about that? Uh How did that happen? Shixes That that That that because that is uh, that is one of the greatest magic tricks ever That is fantastic. Well, you know, you can speak on behalf of all jews I don't know you have to get a license to speak on behalf of all white people. I On the show, we're going to talk about jackie mason with bruce smirnoff Player nice my big argument with jackie mason on the streets of manhattan In 2008 It was near columbus circle I stopped him we'd start talking we didn't really know each other and he looked at my then wife and said You married out of the religion And I said, yeah and he said uh You've killed more jews than hitler by marrying out of the religion and we got into it like a two hour argument Wow in manhattan. Was he being was he trying to be funny? Yeah, he was trying to be funny and I was trying to be funny and I actually convinced him that intermarriage Was the best thing better for jews. I said at one point I said Do you think it really helps us if we have more people looking like you? Don't you don't you think it's worth diluting the stock a little so we can have My kids do we really You know, so How did the argument end? I made him laugh. I told him that abraham was the first jew And that means he had to have married out of the religion The religion He also had multiple wives though He had multiple wives none of whom were jewish because abraham was the first jew and he married non-jews And had children he had isaac and and ishmael and if he had children with non-jew The mother wasn't jewish, which means that isaac and ishmael who founded islam They're not jewish. Judaism doesn't exist jackie. You're swedish. You're a methodist. You're a unitarian that made him laugh So it was okay. Hey, so all right. Okay. Now. Here's my question. So you're gonna speak for all muslims. They're gonna wrap it up It's rumored on by the way right now. So Is it? Yeah, are you observing it? I am I'm fasting right now Now, how does the fast work you it's 12 hours of fasting And well, it's not 12 hours. It's sun up to sundown. So it depends what part of the world you're in right now in chicago Um, I basically start my fast like a roughly 3 30 in the morning And i'm not eating till about eight almost 8 30 at night So Basically, it's a 17 hour fast. I guess and then you eat then you eat at sundown Yeah, and then you can so it's should be called like you should still exercise discretion, but uh And and um some type of restraint, but people just pardoned upon pick out Without a pick picking out exactly that's yeah, it's I call it. Well, it's ramadan. It's kind of like bulimia I'm not really like it's hilarious. How holy is ramadan? How holy is it? What does that mean? What is it? What does ramadan mean? well, it's actually considered a very very um Spiritual time of the year. I mean so for one month out of the year Which is a lunar calendar like the jews follow. So the muslims also have a lunar calendar, which means that It kind of rotates throughout the the gregorian year, right? So it moves up about 10 days every year And that means that in every part of the world Over a period of years ramadan will end up being Throughout the different seasons. So the the winter fast is obviously a lot easier The sun sets pretty early summertime fast. I mean we're talking about man. We're in the middle of june right now And in chicago or a place like california. I mean you're getting a pretty long hot day And so you don't you don't eat or drink anything If you're married you don't have sex until uh during the fast So you have to abstain basically from all these animal appetites And the idea behind it is number one developing Some type of self-restraint over your animal appetites And then also an ancillary benefit is the idea that you're also Um cultivating empathy for people who are starving and people who don't have Food to eat every day. So I think in a time like this with all these like refugee crisis going on and everything that we're here about You know, I mean even just in america man Like it never ceases to amaze me that you know, we have homeless people in the united states And you know if they're enterprising and scrapping i'm sure they can figure out how to Put together a meal every day, but there are people who legitimately Are you know below the poverty line in this country and are not able to get a decent meal every day Yeah, and you know who I blame Dogs and cats My sister sends me these videos from dodo And they're these adorable videos of people dressing up their Pit bulls and matching pajamas and bathing their Cats and giving them deep tissue massage and Feeding them birthday cakes Wow and americans have So much love and empathy to give for cats and dogs They've become substitute children in many ways substitute humans. Yes, it's become They've anthropomorphized Their pets to the point where they no longer need to take care of Humans they take care of cats. Yeah, there's a direct correlation between the number of People living on the streets children Requiring food stamps And the number of cats and dogs that are being rescued by People who are incapable of loving other humans Wow I cannot tell you the number of by the way At one time we had depressing room. Yeah, well, we've had eight I mean my house when I was married at any given time Four cats three dogs plus the kids and There's a virtue to having pets. I'm a borderline vegan. I hate Hurting animals. I love animals. Right People say to me I go, how are you doing? David? I go, wow, you know, I'm in new york. It's Single it's lonely People automatically say get a dog They never say Get a whore I mean, no, they They never say, oh, you should, you know Meet somebody it's all get a dog. It's just this is and and and I see it. I see I see women once they get a cat. That's it. That's all they need all all Women of a certain age who I know my experience is you give them a cat a subscription to netflix Some candles And they're done. Wow So my question. Yeah. All right. Sorry. What's your question? My question for other is I hear a lot of white people saying Oh, I'm so tired from trump. I just can't My gastroenterologist actually told me to stop watching msnbc. I mean, it's just so I just don't know what to do I just um, we're going up to the Hamptons and I said just cut the cable. I just need a week without this I'm just so miserable Uh, do you hear muslims talking that way speak for all muslims? Um, I have heard yeah the answer is I have heard that really yeah, I would I mean I think that they're the people who are kind of Um influenced by the very cultural You know frequency you just referenced in other words that they're They're also be influenced by that same attitude But Yes, there are people like that. Yeah, I would say that the majority of muslims that I know in the united certainly in the united states I mean first of all muslims outside of the united states. I mean, they're looking at Like america has just become a big joke It just looks like uh, it looks like a reality show I was doing a bit about this before trump won. I was like you guys realize what's happened I mean he has used his years of knowledge Of being a wrestler a professional wrestler. You know, he was inducted into the world wrestling entertainment hall of fame, right? No Yeah, that's a real thing dude. I I was reading it online. I thought it was the onion It was the new york times, okay Donald trump was inducted into the world wrestling entertainment hall of fame as a wrestler by the way Is it linda mcman vince mcman's wife like under secretary of Commerce or something? It's amazing if that's true I would not be surprised because he talked so he's talked about publicly about how that happened because he He was basically getting into the wrestling game because he owned build, you know own venues and stuff And then the next thing you knew he was becoming very friendly with you know vince mcman and other Leaders within the at the time wwf Anyway, long story short. They had this thing they promoted called the battle of the billionaires You could watch donald trump put it in google put it in youtube donald trump wrestling He will see him legit like clothesline vince mcman I've seen it Shave his head in the ring. I mean it's absurd So this guy used all of his knowledge about that then he of course became a Celebrity bonafide himself as the host of celebrity apprentice And learned just kind of even more about how show business and reality shows work And then he decided to hijack the world media and give us all the best reality show ever made It's called america starring donald trump Okay, and season one was when he won and now we're in the middle of season two with all the twists and the Comey situation and the russia investigation and you know like season two finale is is going to basically be Probably you know once he's been off once he's been in office for a year. Yeah So suffice it to say that this guy is a living reality show and the rest of the world is just looking at I talked to friends of mine who are muslims and even other people are not muslims certainly comedians like America is a joke This guy is a complete buffoon Clown and everybody in the world is just laughing at how did you people let this happen? And it's really entertainment for them um, yeah Yeah, I mean political danger to it all because This man has access to nuclear codes And you know has already rattled the cages of other world leaders I don't know if you've been following what's been happening with germany, but I mean, uh supposedly Angela Merkel is very openly talking about how you know, we need to Europeans need to protect themselves and not pretend that america is necessarily the same ally that it's always been And unfortunately the Breitbart people like steve bann and hear that and they say good. Yeah, they love it That's what they're all about. You know, so anyway, I would say that um muslims around the world kind of Fall into that bucket, which is like, you know, this guy is a clown and he's a dangerous clown And it's unfortunate and they feel bad for americans Being having you know having for being stuck in this situation Muslims in the united states I find are of sort of, you know, two or three types Either they're they're crying whining type you mentioned earlier Or they're like activists like, you know, we need to be in resistance mode And hold the feet to the fire and be collaborating with activist organizations and The aclu and challenge, you know, trumps Travel ban and you know, blah blah blah like they're on the case And then there's the third group, which you know, I would say I kind of belong to which is sort of like You know, I just don't take politics that seriously because it has become part of the celebrity game Which is our celebrities And the whole celebrity game is just this, you know, what we were talking about earlier. It's a fake news You know, commercially driven ad driven platform of television And news media that is basically owned by a small group of people And as Jerry mander talks about in his book, you know, television is anti-democracy because It's the idea of allowing a few people to have control over this incredibly powerful medium That is basically brainwashing people 24-7 And advancing the narrative that this handful of people want to advance All of them could fit in a single golf cart with Donald Trump, by the way In maro lago, so I just don't take the whole thing too seriously and I resign myself to more of a you know History is in good hands because I do believe in god And this too shall pass and if it doesn't then we're dancing on the titanic. What are we supposed to do? Very good us your Usman How do people reach you? Um, I got a website. It's just my name us or dot com. It's spelled a It's spelled a z is in zebra H a r dot com. Great. You'll come back soon. I hope so brother. Thank you. Stay on the line Oh very quickly if you want to see us or perform Go to the comic strip at 9 30 on july 20th And he's part of the third annual muslim funny fest organized by the great dean abedaya Stand the line. Thank you. Thank you, sir