 أفلح من صل على محمد وآل محمد أعوذ بالله من الشيطان الرجيم بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم رب الشرح لي صدري ويسر لي أمر وحل الأقدة من لساني يفقه قولي بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم الحمد لله رب العالمين وصلى الله على سيدنا وحبيب قلوبنا وشفيع نفوسنا أبل قاسم محمد أما بعد رسالة أسكولرين أوديين أخواتنا وصلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته إن شاء الله كان the topic for tonight will revolve around the concept which is the idea of marriage in light of the person we commemorate tonight which is سيدة خديجةですね عليه أفضل الصلاة والسلام in order to analyze what kind of woman she was and what kind of daughter she produced وماذا تصميم هذه الخارجة في سيدة فاطمة وعليها أفضل الصلاة والسلام وإن شاء الله الثلاثة سوف ننظر على اليوم أولا وثلاثة هل هي الخارجة من ماذا الإسلام يدين لنا to choose a particular spouse على الثلاثة أريد أن أتحدث في محاولة لتصميم في which someone comes forth and says something called love at first sight we'd like to analyze this and look at the idea behind it and what kind of side effects this particular point may have and on the final level we'd like to look at examples from history in which particular people came forth and choose their spouses and the reason behind their choices please help me in starting tonight's topic with the loud صلاوات على محمد وآلي محمد the Prophet ﷺ has a narration in which he states make sure you choose your spouses for the genes are very misleading تخيروا لينضفكم فأن الأرقاء the sas in which he states make sure that you choose very carefully and the Prophet ﷺ gives us guidelines there are four particular guidelines in which the Prophet of Islam says three of which if you choose a spouse are negative and one of which should be the main reason in which you choose a spouse or a partner for life the first and foremost in which الله سبحانه وتعالى on the tongue of his Prophet ﷺ relates to us that's a reason behind marriage first and foremost is the most common which is the beauty of a particular gender the opposite gender may be beautiful and that's maybe a reason why you marry that particular gender the second in which is the particular idea of wealth that particular person may be of a high status that are very rich and that may be a reason why you marry them the third reason he says they could be from a very wealthy family a very wealthy lineage of the sons and daughters of particular kings and queens or prestigious places that's the third reason that you may marry and the fourth reason that the Prophet ﷺ states in which you may marry is the idea and concept of religiosity now let's look at these in depth the first of which the Prophet ﷺ says if you marry solely for the reason of beauty and this is quite important because many people within history fallen into that trap many people in history have gone because they think a particular person looks amazing however when they find themselves in that particular relationship they find they have a foul mouth they find the treatment between the two is unbearable however they tend to overlook it because that person has a particular attribute of beauty the Prophet ﷺ says if you marry for beauty I guarantee that I will make however beautiful that person is in your eyes it's not beautiful anymore even if they were the most beautiful person on earth if their mannerisms isn't up to scratch within the Islamic circles if their tongue isn't the best of tongues if she has a foul tongue or he has a foul tongue because it goes either way do you think that's that's relationship will last how on earth do you think that that particular person whether it be the male or female will bring up a child into the future and this is something we're going to look at in reference to Khadija what kind of character was Khadija and how did she take those characteristics and take it into Fatima Tezahra number one number two the Prophet ﷺ states if you marry for wealth if that particular person has wealth the Prophet ﷺ says if you marry for wealth however much that wealth will not have it doesn't have the bounties that you wanted to have one day it's there and the other day it's gone or it may not even affect you in the way that you wanted to you won't see the beauty and how many people do we know that's our reach but it's unhappy how many people their wealth they don't know what to do with it they don't know what to do with their wealth they're rich they're unhappy it says if you marry for this particular reason this is its attribute if you marry for a lineage and remember this is a very touchy point because someone may think that okay lineage is a particular good lineage no no no we're going to depth I'm saying if you marry solely in the Prophet's words for particular woman being the son of or the daughter of a particular king or a queen basing it on where you'll be like as an example that we have when Muawiyah goes to Ju'ade and he says to Ju'ade he says if you poison the Imam Imam Hassan عليه أفضل الصلاة والسلام I will give you my son Yazid's hand in marriage one of the conditions therefore you see that she wanted to marry she poisoned the Imam look at the effect of it she points the Imam in order to marry someone from a lineage from a prestigious background in which she can say to herself well you know what I'm married to the ruler of the time she says if you have that your lineage or your offspring's won't be very noble however look at look at what the Prophet teaches I says if you marry solely for the purpose of religiosity الله سبحانه وتعالى I will give you beauty you will see that person as beautiful in your eyes I will give you sustenance and enough sustenance for you to be pleased with and Allah says He will create your lineage to be the best of lineages that's on the first level the second level Imam Al-Baqar عليه أفضل الصلاة والسلام has a narration in which he states to us he says if you are giving your daughter to a man he says make sure he's a man of religion why he says if he's a man of religion and he loves that daughter if he loves that female he says if he is religious and loves her أكرمها he will honor her he will put her in a pulpit a high status in his eyes and on the reverse angle let's say he doesn't like her he says he will never oppress her never oppress her look at that decision this is Imam Al-Baqar's wording he says make sure you take it to a religious person a person I'm not saying he has to be an ayat it's Allah no a person he prays he fasts he knows what's Halal he knows what's Haram that's a person nowadays looks at as religious that's just as he knows Allah he fees Allah he won't do anything to go against Allah سبحانه وتعالى عليب نبي طالب paints this picture when he looks into marrying أمو البنين doesn't he when he goes he says I want a woman that will give birth to a son that will be aiding my son حسين in the 10th of محرم doesn't he so he looks تخيروا لنطفكم he went and chose أمو البنين didn't he he goes to Aqe he says I want a lady with this specific characteristics this personality and he chose أمو البنين and أمو البنين produced four and look at the character of أمو البنين if we're looking at mother relations with her spouses أمو البنين remember what we said prior to Ramadan if anyone came to the lecture in which we talked about أمو البنين أمو البنين look at the characteristics remember أمو البنين when she first came her name was what was فاطمة she said don't call me فاطمة anymore because I can see the sons and daughters of عليب نبي طالب getting emotional because they remember my name and they remember their mother do not call me فاطمة anymore أبا فضل عباس most of his life what did he call him أمو حسين did he call him brother he called him my master it goes traits move on through the nieges that's the mother that's the son خديجة and then فاطمة let's look at the characteristics now on the second level we said we want to look at the idea of love at first sight because nowadays we're very accustomed to this particular قرار as in for example this particular person or this particular female looks at a man and says that's love at first sight or a particular male looks at a female and says this is love at first sight if I don't marry this particular woman now I'm going to hang myself I can't live with myself anymore that's it there's no future for me if this particular person we're not married let's look at this concept now at first sight at first sight if you look at a particular person an opposite gender إسلام what does it tell us when you have that first glance it says that first look that you think that first look is love at first sight الله سبحانه وتعالى says you're only allowed to look once that look is only allowed to look once does that mean that's love at first sight is that admiration one person likes particular characteristics attribute about the opposite gender the opposite gender that particular attribute about that person therefore we can't conclude with love at first sight love is مودة love is something that's created throughout these memories stuff that brings you together what do you know about that person at first sight what do you know about that person at first sight that person could not even be single at first sight that's the idea we have to think about there's a lot of negative incultations in which we can look at that first sight that's why it may be haram in so many instances and that's why you're only allowed to look once so therefore can we actually say there's something called love at first sight food for thought number two number three and insha'Allah we'd like to explore this insha'Allah and then we conclude with it when he looks at the right of the mother he says one of the sentences which is a very beautiful sentence he starts off by saying the right of the mother is that you know that she carried and no one else carried you then he goes on to say he says the mother has fed you with the fruit of her heart that which no one feeds anyone the fruit of her heart where no one feeds anyone now that's why we can look at the mothers in history when we look at one side we have khadija فاطمة الزهراء and we look at the other people that used to fight the prophet used to fight عليب نبي طالب حسنة إمام حسين look at the mothers we have the mother of yazid which in narrations I want to get too much into it but in narrations it says there she had five different husbands but let's look at let's look at the nieges you have these beacons of light purity upon purity and then you have people that opposed them there's a narration in which she says we at the time of عليب نبي طالب they said we didn't know if someone was born in حلال منا or in حرامن meaning either the son of حلال or the son of adultery we didn't know so how did we differentiate how do we differentiate this was son of حلال this was son of حرام how do we differentiate we didn't know we couldn't categorize that this was a particular reason he says look at this this is not in our books by the way this is from the other schools of thought they say we used to take the child to عليب نبي طالب what happens he says if that child would become saddened or begin to cry we used to know that child or that son or that daughter was the son of حرام he says if that boy or that girl would smile in the face of عليب نبي طالب or begin to laugh we knew that son or daughter was the son or daughter of حلال not in our books noting it from the other schools of thought meaning what that they knew that the definitive factor between truth and falsehood is who عليب نبي طالب was محمد وآلي محمد if the fruit in reference to إمام سجاد if the fruit of the heart of the mother is that which is unpure or unpure and that is what's being fed to the child what kind of child will be brought up however if the fruit of that heart is pure is on the path of أهل البيت is in the path which الله سبحانه و تعالى has instilled for us what kind of fruit with that heart produce خديجة فاضمة الزارب I need not say any further because we knew and thank you for explaining to us the position of خديجة the honorable position of خديجة خديجة the honest خديجة the business woman the woman that came to Islam that gave everything for Islam that sacrificed everything for Islam in such a state where she was and you find at the end of Islam she did not have a coffin a shroud to cover her body it was too short the cloth that they had to cover this great lady that possessed so much they'd cover her head her legs would show they'd cover her legs her face would show until Allah سبحانه و تعالى brought a cloth from heaven that's the struggle a person came comes to Rasulullah what does he say he says to Rasulullah I love you he says أستعد للبلاء أستعد للفقر he says I love Ali ibn Abi Talib أستعد للبلاء that's the truth brothers and sisters if we remember the people that died yesterday we remember the bombing that bombing is one of many throughout history unlike the sheikh stated so beautifully every single time that we are brought down we flourish if we look at it into context سبحان الله يد الله Saddam at the time what did he do he thought that he was demolishing Islam he was demolishing the Tashaywa he took the Iraqis to every single corner of the world running away and he thought you know what I've obliterated it no one comes to the Ziyara of Aba Abdullah little did he know that Allah's plan was for people to migrate and in every corner of the earth now there's a Alam for Hussein صلى الله عليه وسلم we know not the plan of Allah سبحانه وتعالى but we know that's what we have to do we know what kind of people we are we know what Bala will be in front of us and we know that this is without a shadow of doubt the ends for us we are the sheikh and this is what we have had throughout history and that's why we crave the reappearance of our Imam and that's why we have to crave it more than we say it's not just the tongue that does the work it has to be our actions كونوا دعات لنا بغيري make sure your actions represent Islam make sure your actions bring people towards Islam do not go about cursing everyone going out and having a foul mouth against everyone that just takes everyone away bring people in with your mannerisms bring people in with your smile that's the only reason they will start to question who are you what do you follow the Christian man we said yesterday he took Ali ibn Abi Talib in his خلافة to his own court and won the case and he says I've seen justice on earth I want to worship that which you worship that's how you bring people in with humanity brothers and sisters إن شاء الله I end on this but إن شاء الله we learnt from tonight some important aspects in how to choose a spouse how to go about choosing a spouse what to look for in a spouse and it's a very detailed discussion but I touched on it in very brief with the limited time that I had for tonight but إن شاء الله we can pray to Allah that he instills that we marry whoever is not married to the best of women and the woman to marry the best of men and Allah writes for him in this blessed night and if you are married that Allah سبحانه وتعالى will produce for you the spouse the children or the offspring that will be of the time of the Imam of the companions of the Imam صاحب العصر والزمان إن شاء الله we end on this with the Surah المباركة الفاتحة تسبقها الصلاة على محمد وآل محمد