 Dating is not going well for you, statistically speaking. And no, I'm not just projecting. 67% of single people are not happy with their dating life. Yeah, and if you're like me, a large part of that dating life includes the apps. Even if they're not the only way to meet people, they are the most immoralizing way. Like seriously, are they bad for us? If not, why do I feel like shit after using them? And why would you post a profile pic with sunglasses on? Uh, yes. Tender, bumble, grinder, hinge, coffee meets bagel, desperate, raya, the league, scruff, jacked, field, feels, okay, cupid, Facebook dating, and I only made one of those up. There are a ton of dating apps, and for some people they've made dating easier, while for others, yikes. And I promise, this video is not just about how dating apps are awful, and they're just a scheme from big dating app to get you to spend money. Well, that last part is kind of true. A lot of these apps have been designed by similar people that design literal gaming apps. So they're designed to give us dopamine hits that has us coming back. Yeah, because not only does dopamine get released when we get a match, it gets released even when we think we might get a match. That's why even just swiping feels good. Until the dopamine wears off, that is. It's kind of like slot machines. Unpredictable rewards make us want to engage more and more and more. And guess who gets the most matches? The people who are on the most, and the people who pay. Surprise, bitch. Some of the downsides and negative impacts are similar to that of social media. So the comparing, the thinking that like, oh, I bet this other person is getting so many likes. The good news is, is that these feelings were only found to be connected to excessive swiping. And it isn't all negative. In fact, about half of online daters say that they've had an overall positive experience. Apps are also the number one way lesbian, gay, and bisexual people meet their partners. If you're in a town where you don't want to go to the one gay bar within 78 miles of your house, you get to meet people from home. So Rachel, being out there on the apps can be tough. Do you have any tips? Be clear and honest about who you are and what you're looking for. One of the biggest things that, you know, anyone using these apps kind of complains about is I met this person and they were nothing like what they said they were like. So for your own sanity, allow people to self-select. Have clear boundaries. Boundaries are not about controlling other people's behavior. Boundary is about what we're available for. What we can say is, if someone talks to me like this, I'm not going to stay in this conversation. And so it is completely okay to just simply click disconnect. So are you advocating ghosting? I think that it's totally okay to do unless you're in an established relationship with someone. Any tips around dealing with, I'll say sensitive pictures? I tend to encourage folks to default into consent land. Like if somebody runs around naked in public, they can get arrested for being naked in public. And so it's not great to send someone a nude photo unsolicited. I have one last question for you. How do you relationship? Honestly and openly and with empathy, even when it's really hard.