 Well, hello and welcome to understand men now. I'm Jonathan assay of Jonathan assay comm and I'm so excited to be doing this live Stream for you today our topic the four sensual ways to kiss a man to turn them on All right, really quickly if you're brand new to my youtube channel, please if the content here resonates with you Do me a favor and please hit that subscribe button hit the bell So you can be notified of new content and again if the content does resonate with you Please do me a favor and hit that like button because the more likes the more chances this gets seen in the youtube algorithm And also if you could do me a favor share it with a friend as well All right, we're gonna jump right in to the four sensual ways to kiss a man to turn them on now really quickly If you're brand new to my live streams or if you're watching the video I do the content piece first and then I go straight to q&a So when I do go to q&a, I'm gonna ask you to write the word question in the chat box That's for those who are listening live and then ask a question And by the way if you do if you are watching the replay stick around for the for the q&a port It's really some of the best content that comes out of all this So all right, let's jump into these four sensual ways to kiss a man to turn them on now really quickly Why the heck am I doing advice on kissing? I mean to me you need to be talking to a sex expert or something like that This is not necessarily my general area of expertise in fact quite frankly even though I am a dating a relationship coach for mostly for women specializing in midlife Which is after baby making years and before retirement That I talk about more the human behavior aspects of relationships and not the technical aspects of relationships Like how to text a guy or how to get a guy when they break up with you and all that kind of stuff That's not my area of expertise. I'm more the human behavior But I thought this would be a fun one I saw this title with one of my contemporaries and I thought what the heck I'm going to talk about this and share from my own experience so One of and I want to share one of the women who posted a comment before Shared her version of the best sensual way to kiss a guy I want to lead with that and then share with you the four things that I came up with So she shared her favorite kiss for a guy is the upside-down Spider-man kiss, so I thought that was rather cute If I could find a way to do that, I'd love to give it a shot I guess it's possible in some way shape or form. Maybe if you lie on the back of them a Better something but I thought that was kind of fun But I'm gonna put on my trusty glasses because I wrote down my content right here. Oh, I didn't want to leave it up too long so The first unexpected or excuse me the first sensual way to kiss a man is what I call is the Unexpected kiss the unexpected kiss This is when you're leaning in when he least expects it And I want to share with you a story that happened to me That was the reason why I put this on the list was I was on a second date with a woman and On our first date. We didn't kiss. We just gave each other a hug in fact and there was like a kiss on the cheek and this was some years back and we had planned a second date and We had went to we went for a walk and we went for a hike and we went for a drive And then we changed clothes and got dressed up and went to a nice place to go have drinks and appetizers at this great Ocean view cliffside resort here and there where I live and we're having a drink and and I Guess I said something that really put a smile on her face and the next thing I know she just leaned in and kissed me our first kiss was she leaned in and kissed me and It was unexpected and I loved it I mean, I just loved that she took the initiative that it wasn't Incumbent upon me. I didn't have to worry about getting rejected. I mean men Rarely if a woman reaches in and kisses a guy I highly doubt a man would reject her but we men when we lean in and kiss we can get rejected So it feels really great to have what I call is the unexpected kiss unexpected kiss and well that relationship didn't go anywhere partially there were some distance issues and partially she was coming off of a Breakup and she had a lot of drama going on with the the person that she was in relationship with We didn't bother to go any further after that second date, but that's still to this day I'll never forget how she leaned in and gave what I call the unexpected kiss So I know most men if you do that, it's a thumbs up. Okay The second one is what I call the come close and pull away come close and pull away And what and by the way, I don't mean when I say come close don't pull away like this But it's come close and just slightly pull back like you're gonna lean in for the kiss But pull back that gives him an opportunity to kind of pursue you because he can feel you coming towards him But you kind of do that little bit of a pull just a tiny pullback and that gives him an opportunity to come into you This is similar to the unexpected kiss But this is a great way to create a little bit of sexual tension and dynamic By leaning in a little bit and then pulling back a little bit and that gives him an opportunity To come closer and lean in to kiss you. Have you ever done this before? Have you ever tried either the first one or the second one? If you have and you're watching the replay post the comments certainly for those that are on the live chat We're gonna get in to some of this nitty gritty in the second Okay, now I told you in the title number three is a biggie one. In fact, this is my all-time favorite So and I'm just sharing with you my personal thing, but man This is where I Recommend just tiny biting him on the lip just a little bit with your teeth I think most men will find that very sexy I know I do when there's that little bit of just a little bit of just roughness I mean, it's ever so gentle, but it's just a little bit of a sensual Sexual kind of way of approaching a kiss and I can tell you that most men will appreciate this In fact, what's interesting to me in the dating realm is most humans don't Savor this the true sexual aspects of the relationship now interesting up the hyper focus on sex, but I said the Sexual not sex portion. Well, let me reframe that rewind everything I just said men and women I think appreciate the Sensual way of approaching the physical aspect of a relationship and a lot of people are Robotic in the way they approach dating their robotic in the way they kissed their robotic the way they are in the bedroom I mean in fact probably most people are ridiculously robotic and not very Sensual this is why if you want to read a really great book I'm going to introduce a new book right now. The book is called intimate communion by David data intimate communion by David data Now it says awaken your sexual essence. I love I've read this book And I feel absolutely in love with it and this is advanced ninja level, you know personal development type work in the area of sensuality so And by the way folks I recommend a variety of different books in the area of human behavior But I also recommend other books, which I'll be sharing another one shortly that to really To really make you a full Row-wounded well-rounded human being especially in the area of dating mating or relating and so we most humans are so hyper focused on what they do for a living and their basic survival needs in life And the real root rich juiciness of life is through Sensuality through eroticism and that sort of thing This is one of the reasons why if you're not familiar with the work of Esther Perrell mating in captivity I would start following her on YouTube because she says one of the downfalls in most Relationships is erotic desire is erotic desire That couples have been together for years just become so robotic in relationship and they stop desiring each other on a real Sensual basis, which is why I'm recommending these books Just to begin with them why I'm doing this this you this live to talk about something which I think is kind of sexy Okay, and the fourth and last one for today's video Let me see what I wrote down again here Oh, so this is actually came from the movie weird science weird science Does anyone know the movie weird science weird science? There's a scene. This is where two guys invent a woman to young kids with their computer a vet basically did a Frankenstein version of creating their own woman and And there's a long story, but there's a scene where The the young man is kissing and the actress is Kelly LeBrock and I'm boy that I have a crush on her back in the 80s And she's and when while he's kissing her she grabs his butt She grabs his butt and pulls his body closer to him She grabs his butt and pushes her body closer to him like that real kind of pushing in while they were kissing while they were kissing that is that is very Essential and very erotic to pull a man's body closer to you when you kiss And I can say that as a man I've experienced I love it And I'm sure if there are any men watching this They'll probably agree that they would love it when a woman grabs his butt and pulls them closer to them pulling that Energy closer to one another that's very sensual very erotic And it's certainly a great way to shift from this Robotic way of people doing things I think once you become too familiar with someone a Relationship becomes I continually say the word robotic robotic robotic This is one of the reasons why I highly recommend checking out the book by Barbara D'Angelo is called making love all the time Making love all the time and this is really about creating True intimate connection with someone True intimate connection with someone because most people today are just Winging it. They're just they're they're dating life for those in midlife They have no effing clue how to create real connection with another human being. This is one of the reasons why I Recommend so many of these books by the way, there's a link in the Jonathan description Jonathan Recommend in the description below where Jonathan recommends I recommend all these books along with my book what the heck is self-love anyway What the heck is self-love anyway, we'll talk about that. I'm sure during the live stream today So just as a reminder the unexpected kiss the come close and so slightly pull away Kiss the bite his lip, which is my fave and Number four grab his booty while you're kissing. These are four sensual ways to turn a guy on All right I think this is a great time to get started with our Q&A just a reminder if you want to ask a question You can purchase a super sticker on this on the live chat You can do a super chat on the live chat and post your question there All the proceeds if you do purchase a super sticker super chat goes to a goes to a fund That I'm creating for a foundation for my son Connor those who know me know that my son There's a picture of him right there and a picture of him there my son Connor passed away a few years ago And I plan on Beginning a foundation where the funds go to support those who want personal development in their life in honor of Connor So those that purchase those super stickers serve a chest That's what the the goal is is to put together the foundation All right Just as a reminder write the word question in this in the in the chat box and then post your question there I'm going to scroll up to take a look if anyone's asked a question And bear with me. So we're gonna get started. I Want to stay high to I am the prize grace. I am the one Jane Michael Grace Jill so I don't see any questions yet. Oh Someone says deal breaker Wet kissers kissers that covers my mouth and nose some adults need actual kissing classes That's a perfect reason. That's a great example I can't stand women that slobber when they kiss or I can't stand women This is just a personal preference. I should say that it's just like it's like a it's like a dead fish I don't know how else to describe it. That sounds terrible, but I you know, there are I think there should be some classes on kissing Especially sensual kissing. This is one of the reasons why I highly recommend reading books that are centered around Sexuality David data does a lot of work on that as well as others a lot of people think they're good kissers But in actuality, they're not oh and lastly, I don't think I could kiss a woman who has duck lips I think it might seem attractive, but I just can't get past women who have duck lips. That just grosses me out. So Which means I'll probably fall in love with a woman who has duck lips, I'm just kidding, but nonetheless Thank you for sharing this event. I really appreciate that Alright, let's see if we have any questions again Just as a reminder write the word question and then post a question it can be on any topic I do want to dive into one conversation though I think is critically important to discuss and That is I want to listen. Oh Wait, I made a note here for a second Okay I'd like to think when I created my channel I'm not one of those coaches that blows smoke up your ass that blows smoke up your ass that creates false hope Because the reality is especially for those of us in midlife 80% of the population of men and women men and women alike who are actively dating are rather clueless They lack emotional maturity They lack emotional skills and they even lack the intentionality and many of them don't even have a true Understanding of how to choose another human being let alone being capable of being a relationship And this is true of men and women alike I know a lot of you women are frustrated to be out in the dating realm and to go through man after man after man Who's either emotionally stunted or who lacks the skills or is Incapable of being relationship. Maybe they're going through some trauma in their life. Maybe they're going through a divorce Maybe they're hung up on an ex-relationship and while humans want connection and sex They want connection and sex. There's a big percentage of the population. That's just incapable of it So I could sit here and blow smoke up your ass and go hey buy my program And you'll learn how to you know get the guy of your dreams or if you just lean back into your feminine energy You will just attract that guy that's going to claim you Because he's chivalrous. I don't subscribe to that. I do believe it's rather fucked up out there It's a mess out there because humans are ridiculously dysfunctional So let's just call it for what it is now some of you might go well Jonathan that doesn't give me very much hope Well, here's the problem with a lot of women in particular and I'm being this might sound judgmental But I witnessed this again and again and again and again a Significant number of women are living off of this need and that is I need you to love me So I can feel good about myself. Let me repeat that a Significant number of women are operating from the from this place of I need you to love me So I can feel good about myself and that's why you're hunting for a relationship. You desire relationship and Quite frankly, you're never going to be satisfied. This is why I wrote my book What the heck is self-love anyway? It's a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work So you can be ready for a great relationship in your life But then I recommend a lot of other books because most men are rather dysfunctional When it comes to the dating process, they're not bad guys They just lack the skills And I know you're all hunting for that that one percenter guy that what are that two percent or three percenter Who's got his shit together? He's handsome and he knows what he wants and goes after it Here's the reality ladies and gentlemen Most humans are suffering on the inside in some way shape or form centered around not feeling good enough feeling unloved or not Feeling likable and this is why they're out in the dating realm because they want Connection they want connection and they want sex, but they're not capable of going into any deeper intimacy So stop buying into the bullshit rhetoric. You're hearing from others. I'm not here to scare you I if anything I want to scare you into loving yourself because it doesn't matter whether or not you have a man in your life It's not about landing the guy. It's about landing the relationship within yourself because as Esther Perel says The quality of your life is predicated on the quality of your relationships and the most important relationship in your life is with yourself So I'd rather you hyper-focus on your own Sovereignty well-being self-worth self-esteem self-confidence So then when you do meet a great guy, you can just take off Now, how do you meet that great guy? It's not about how do you meet him? the real question is how do you vet him and I teach this in my private coaching centered around Pre-qualifying your prospect you have to pre-qualify prospects and if you need help with that check out the link in the Below that says free discovery call with me to see if working with the coach is right for you My job is to teach you how to pre-qualify your prospect. So you're in debt. I'm spitting So you're investing in a man who's is compatible with you and then if you have chemistry Take off All right All right, let's see. I see some questions in the board. So let's get started Um, bear with me. Oh I just want to thank that gadget girl. Thank you so much for that super sticker. I really appreciate it That goes to the conner fun. Thank you so much Ms. Jenkins says what are duck lips? Those are the women that lips like this You know the big lip the women the ones who inject all that crap in their lips So they make their lips bigger. That's just such a turn off to me. I can't speak for anyone else But I can only speak for myself um question from sb How to tell a how to tell a shy guy is a trap how to tell a shy guy is attracted to you If he's too afraid to talk to you He checked me out today smiled when I acknowledged him. Also. He only talks to a few people so how to well How to tell a guy. Oh, so what you want to say is you're interested in him. I guess that's the real question I want to share a story. Um, I remember Um, this was some years back on this is got a decade or so ago. It was uh Uh What's the Cinco de Mayo. No, it was uh, say patrick's day. It was sat I'm at a bar with a couple friends. It wasn't it wasn't it was one It was a restaurant. So it wasn't like a wild party And I could see a woman sitting with a couple girlfriends in the table across from me And she could see me and I could see her and she could you know, we could see each other So I'm staring at her for an hour. I was so afraid to walk up to her and just expressed that I was interested I was totally shy. I mean, I I'm actually a naturally shy person. Believe it or not By the way, my copy mug says swear a little you'll feel better So I finally got up to the nerve to talk to her But as I talked to her I my first question is how old are you and I know that's not a question to ask But she looked a little bit younger than I thought in the beginning and sure enough She was like I'm in my mid 40s and she was 29 and I'm like, do you want to have children? She said yes, and I go I don't so I want to wish you well All right, so I just wanted to share that story I'm going to tell you guys feel afraid. This is one that feel afraid and And the truth is this is one of the reasons why we identified Something years ago called and this is a hank. This is a napkin. By the way, this is what the napkin says But something called dropping the hanky dropping the hanky ladies I highly recommend with men men can be incredibly afraid to walk up to a woman They like so what you want to do is somehow dropping the hanky. I remember one of my female friends She was at a bar once and she threw an ice cube at a guy that she liked And she he went over and said why did you do that and they started a conversation? They went on to go have a two-year relationship It didn't go the distance But that's how she got his attention somehow you have to learn how to drop the hanky Now I don't know the environment the two of you met but these days ladies You can also walk up to a guy that just like that unexpected kiss we men You know make our job easier for us You know by letting us actually you can directly letting us know or you can throw an ice cube at someone like that My friend did but somehow get his attention to let him know it's okay to come over to you And you might even just tell a girlfriend to walk over and say hey My girlfriend wants you to come over and talk to me You know it can be as simple as that but if two people are connecting with one another you can actually initiate it It's not chasing and it's not going to it's not going to make his penis shrivel up into you know It's not going to emasculate a guy when a woman makes effort There's such stupid rhetoric based on this stupid fucking book called the rules the rules that's ruined it for women because it creates stupid reverse psychology way of Dealing with relationships and not the healthier Emotional way that I talk about so Ladies you can take the initiative and reach out to him. That's my suggestion and I hope that help sp Thank you so much for your question. All right, that girl wrote that gadget girl work. Are you a gadget girl? I am a question. I am in an age gap relationship 44 and he's 55 is it considered wrong to be the one who doesn't sit back and wait And be the one who is very quick. Let me read this Is it considered wrong to be the one who doesn't sit back and wait and be the one who is very very Who is very are for are about what they want? Okay, I'm going to try to decipher your last sentence last section because I'm going to assume you med Is it okay for you to express what you want ladies? Absolutely, let me tell you what a standard is a standard is knowing what you want So for example, I know my standard in relationship and let me share it with you all If you watch me long enough, you know, I'm in I'm going to say this really clash This is my standard I'm looking for a relationship where we spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interests spending time with family and friends traveling together Helping each other in our personal and our professional life from a partnership perspective Intimacy, which is both emotional and physical intimacy that leads to either living together or getting married That is what I want. Okay That's my standard. I express that very early on and I Approach the relationship process from that standard I'm here to suggest every one of you to establish what your standard is Now that means what do you want in relationship? Now ladies? I study this stuff every day I study these books for example I highly recommend before you come up with your standard to read this book Eight dates by dr. John and julie gotman eight dates by dr. John and julie gotman This is going to help you understand what you really how the mechanics of a healthy happy relationship works the mechanics of a relationship Remember I said earlier most people are winging it. They have winging it. They have no fucking clue how a relationship works So it's great. Listen most dating advice is centered around attraction. It's all the first Three dates. It's all centered on how to gain attraction. Well, that's great Okay for three dates, but then what are you going to do to make the relationship work? I want to recommend reverse engineering it Think of what makes relationships go wrong and address those issues Before you ever get too deep and that includes Compatibility and I got to tell you ladies I I have listen I've been a dating coach for decade plus now. I have over 20 000 hours of coaching I also have 3 000 hours of personal development work, which includes workshops trainings I currently have a neuro linguistic certificate Behavioral certificate and I'm currently getting my cognitive behavioral therapy certificate. I've done a lot of work I don't say that to impress you. I just want to impress upon you that when you're listening to bullshit advice being your feminine energy And that man will just naturally claim you That works for about a nanosecond. So what are you going to do once he claims you and he's emotionally unavailable? He doesn't have the skill sets to drive the relationship and he's going through traumas and other things of your life It's more important to learn how to pre qualify your prospects Because any any time you're on an app. Okay, you're on an app here. Let's pick an app Let's pick an app. There's bumble. There's match. There's the league. There's tinder. There's hinge just to name a few There you know, if you don't pre qualify your prospect, here's what's going to happen You'll invest in dating You'll you'll get have if you have chemistry you'll drive you'll you'll allow chemistry to drive the bus only to find out You're not compatible with one another and then what happens You're emotionally devastated when the relationship doesn't work out. This is why it's so important to pre qualify your prospects And that's what I do as a coach. Check out the link below Okay, um that girl. I hope your help know your standard meaning know what you want all right Um oops So let's see what else clean your mouth and freshen your breath. I hope that wasn't meant to me um that That girl you should do what you feel compelled from your inner soul to to the hell what what anyone says or thinks I think that was response to a comment. So let me take that one out. Thank you so much though grace um All right, if there's a question you have post the word question and then write your question out I know there's a lot of people in the chat. Oh and vaughn. Thank you so much for the super sticker. I really appreciate that Annette post Oh, by the way, uh, Anna if you do post a question feel free to write the word question so I can find it All right, Annette writes. I have done I have done the four styles of kissing and love them all So if someone is not a good kisser, maybe that's that relationship has no future a good kiss for me Is the connection of souls? You know a lot of people say you can you can determine the quality of a relationship by the way two people kiss First off, I don't think you could predict the quality of relationship You might be able to predict the quality of the sex But believe me kissing is only one version of that when you get to midlife You got to deal with a reptile dysfunction. You got to deal with metapods. You got to deal with is there estrogen load or People's hormones go up or down. There's certainly if there's still people on their cycle There's a lot of different things to consider from the sexual Perspective versus the kissing perspective. So I don't think it always goes to You know how someone kisses is a reflection of how they are in the bedroom and vice versa Maybe they're bad kissers, but maybe they're great in the bedroom. Maybe the guy knows how to use his Just the thought or maybe maybe a good kisser knows how to use his tongue and that's a good sign You know, it's a crapshoot the truth is you can't predict it all until you've experienced it That's why here's the thing about dating mating or relating It's not a destination It's a journey and the journey is the journey to self That's the most important journey in life is the journey to self. This is one of the reasons why I highly recommend this book The untethered soul by michael singer the untethered soul by michael singer. This is my bible This is the book i read regularly over and over and over again. Let me put it up again untethered soul by michael singer All the linked books are um, by the way, if you're watching the replay pause it then check out jonathan recommends books so Why I recommend this book is that it's such a great book to get to know Who you really are on the inside out when you get to know who you are on the inside out You'll attract someone who's more like who you are as well I know this has nothing to do with kissing and that but i'm just going off on a tangent because that's what I do And I and the thing is I I do believe It's great when two people are two good kissers, but I'll never forget. I had years ago Well before my significant relationship I went out with a woman who was not our first kiss was rather flat But we liked each other and we kept going at it and by the way when we got in the bedroom It was like an oh my god moment It was like wow and the kissing chain some people are a little bit nervous in the beginning That's why I don't always judge things by the cover in the beginning You got to kind of open the book and sometimes you can be happily surprised and sometimes You know what it is what it is. They're bad kisser and they're bad at other areas of their life I get it, but you know what you just got to go with what your heart says And what I mean is your intuition your intuition and a lot of times the ego blocks the intuition That's why reading the book the untethered soul will give you oh as well as this book Now I only have the cd version but return to love by Marianne Williamson is a great book to learn How to dismantle the egoic part of who you are and how to connect with your heart How to let go of the egoic part and how to connect with your heart So that's what I recommend. Thank you Annette for a great question. All right, let's see what we got here Um Okay, if you have a question post the word question and write it out um Hi back Christina. I appreciate that Oh, so Adina writes I have a killer move. This is if you're into making out suck the guy's thumb or finger It makes him crazy. I love that. Well In fact, I would like that right now If you have a question, it doesn't have to be sex related. Okay um Let's see what other questions we have Colleen says I love your personal shares. Can you please talk about recovering from codependency? You shared this once. How do you track the progress? Oh my god. What a great question So really quickly I want to identify a book So I'm a recovering codependent. I'm a recovering codependent. What that means is there's different levels of codependency But for the for me it was I need you to love me for me to feel good about myself That's a codependency. That's an example of a codependency. I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself So I operated for the longest time from the place of I need a relationship. I need a relationship. I need a relationship. I need a relationship. I need a relationship But what was interesting is a codependent will attach themselves to the first person they meet I was desperate for a relationship, but I didn't attach myself to the first person that said yes I actually still have this this part of me that wants the right partner. So Thankfully, I wasn't just saying yes to every because I could I could be in I could have had 30 Relationships since my last relationship ended I'm because I practice what I preach about pre qualifying your prospect. Now with that said, how did I get there? Well, one thing is I had to learn to love my own company Let me repeat that I had to learn to love my own company. Now, here's the thing My significant relationship ended going on almost four years ago And actually my my girlfriend was we had a beautiful conscious uncoupling And my birthday was about a month after we ended our relationship. She gifted me the Hoffman process The Hoffman process and if you're not familiar with the Hoffman process, here's the book But I did the live eight-day retreat Now what happened at this the Hoffman process? This is the book version of it. But during this eight-day retreat I experienced what it was like To feel what it was like to be wrapped in a blanket of self-love I cannot begin to tell you how I dismantled my negative patterns my limiting beliefs that were centered around My childhood wounds and traumas my childhood wounds and traumas. This is an eight day 12 hour a day Intense working on your shit Literally in one week. I got Two years worth of therapy. I want you to think about this if you went to therapy once a week for a year That's 50. That's 50 therapy sessions. Okay. I literally god dang it. My pants are writing up my crotch again excuse me so um, so I had two years worth of therapy in one week And I I knew what it felt like to wrap myself in a blanket of self-love. Now. Why is that important? so then going on My mother passed away a few months later and then sadly again my son whose picture there passed away And I didn't feel like dating and what I began doing was dating myself It's when I began writing my book what the heck is self-love anyway This is why I'm such a big proponent of doing personal development self-help and spiritual work on a daily basis By the way, do you like the heart? Has anyone ordered my book? Please let me know so with that said Is I was able to heal my codependency by learning to love myself by learning to love my own company In fact, I will say I'm almost at the other end of the pendulum which the book untethered soul talks about is I almost love my company too much In fact, I wonder if I'm even capable of being in a relationship right now because I I really do love my company And it's going to take a leap of faith. It's going to take a really special person To not to really want to dive into deeper intimacy and what I mean by a special person She you know, not only do we have chemistry, but we share the same values I've gone out with lots of women our values are different Or someone's whose lifestyle is compatible with mine. And then lastly, are they an emotional grown-up? And I can tell you men and women alike are stunted at an emotional level. In fact, let's think about this 50 percent of marriage is end and divorce 65 percent of second marriage is end and divorce 100 people are going to have a first Excuse me 100,000 people in the united states will have a first date come friday night And less than one percent of them are ever going to go the distance Less than one percent of them go the distance. I mean the true distance. It's probably less than one tenth of one percent Five percent will end up in a relationship that will last more than a couple months And so it's because they don't know they're not doing the personal development work So they can actually be mature in relationship And this is men and women alike. So to answer your question I've been doing a lot of work on myself which helped me heal this need of I need you to love me So I can feel good about myself and it took loving my own company to get there Thank you for that question coley and I really appreciate it and thank you for allowing me to share I hope it helped. Please let me know Okay, let's see if there's other questions. Again, if you have a question, please write the word question and let me know Jane writes, I love my company and I know that my boyfriend loves his maybe that is why we hardly see each other Okay, so I guess the question is Know your standard remember when I said standard because for me I want to spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interests and spending time with family and friends I know my standard and my invitation is know what you want if you only see each other Hardly see each other. Is that the relationship you want jane? And it's not because you love your own company. There's probably some other factors going on There's probably distance involved. Maybe your lifestyles aren't compatible. Maybe you don't share the same values Or maybe you're not emotionally mature One or both of you. I'm here to suggest to you Learn your standard on what you want and then invite him into that standard And then see if you guys can work on a relationship based on that. That's my invitation for you Jane, thank you for that great question. I really appreciate it Okay Adina writes I went on a great date last week great kissing and lovely time He invited me to go out again, but we couldn't but we couldn't confirm a time He has barely texted since then and I don't know why any advice Okay, let me read that again. So last week great kissing Hmm So here's my advice Reach out to him and say hey I'm gonna be in your neighborhood on Friday. You know, I'd love to get together with you and take you out What works best for you seven or eight o'clock? You know what you can ask him out on a date ladies stop Expect stop Here's the thing stop following the stupid This stupid rules because it doesn't work You can reach out to him and ask him out now if he doesn't want to go out with you Then you already have your answer and then you don't have to pine not that you're pining for it But you don't have to waste any time with it Text him right now say hey, I'd like to get together with you this weekend and it's my tree You know this friday or saturday work and then see what happens in fact test it right now We've got another 20 minutes before the live stream ends. You can tell me what happens shoot a message ask him out And if you don't feel comfortable with it, why? It's not a man's job to drive the bus. It's a relationship The dating process should be a two-lane street. You're both traveling it together It's okay for you to ask him Okay, make the effort and see what happens. That's my suggestion Um, and you know what? And he might be that he thinks you're not interested in him. So give it a shot and see what happens That's my suggestion. All right Monica right. How do we pre-qualify wanting a person who has who has done? How do we pre how do we pre-qualifying wanting a person who has done the Hoffman process? I'm not understanding this question or you mean You simply ask the question. Have you done the Hoffman process? If it's you want your guide to do the Hoffman process Maybe it's something you I would not do a Hoffman process with someone that you're in relationship at the same time Do it at two separate times Okay, but or invite him by the book and give it to him or buy the book and read it yourself. Does this help? I hope so But yours is a tough one for me to answer. So um All right, Keith Ann writes. Oh, I've never heard the name Keith Ann. That's kind of interesting How do you how do I deal with the 25 year old single daughter of my guy? Whom I feel wants to compete with me for the love and affection of her dad. This is a trigger of mine so First off you don't compete. It's not your job to compete and it's not your job to compare One of the killers in relationship Is comparisons in competing now? I think the real question is how do I dress my daughter? How do I address the relationship my my boyfriend has with? um Their daughter and that's a very complicated one as a parent recognize that some people Hyper focus their attention on their child because they might feel guilt Especially if it's a divorce they might feel guilt or they might just have an attachment to their child That might be an unhealthy attachment so The thing is is more focus on your relationship and to the extent that if the child is involved at the point You two start doing activities together with children Spend time with the child now the child may not like you. That's a challenge Okay, um, and that's going to affect the relationship, but my question is I highly doubt A man who's emotionally mature has a child who's going to be in their ego like that I suspect there's probably and this is just a projection on my part, but i'm putting it out there I suspect he may have some issues that you're not aware of because anyone who hyper focuses out of guilt Or some other need he has issues with himself or By the way, I've been with women who do the same thing I've had the flip side With women and I can tell you it's always been at least from my projection or perception I put both of them in their projection and perception Is the woman was most likely emotionally stunted or immature? So my invitation for you is don't focus on the daughter Focus on him and see if you two are aligned. Do you share the same values? Do you have lifestyles blendable and lastly determine his emotional maturity? And if you need help with that schedule a discovery call with me, that's what my by the way ladies When you schedule a discovery call, it's just to hear about the coaching I don't teach you what you need to learn. You got to hire me if you want to learn the juicy stuff I teach you the basic Look at I teach you a lot of stuff That's the iceberg above the water if you want to go deeper than the surface That's where you got to hire me. That's what I do for a living I give you all the the important surface stuff But if you want to go deeper to pre-qualify your prospect, you're gonna have to hire me And that's my invitation for you. So keep then I hope that helped I would pre-qualify him rather than focusing on the daughter All right Okay, jennifer says I'm exhausted from dating and meeting passive men Jennifer I can relate. I am exhausted with dating and meeting passive women. It is very exhausting to But here's the challenge. It's like a friend of mine says Love is a risk, but it's still the best game in town When you actually learn to love yourself You don't get exhausted. I mean you might feel temporary exhaustion temporary exhaustion You might be temporarily judging passive people But when you genuinely love yourself you think of the big picture is it's not about getting the person It's about loving yourself and the dating process is just as part of the ride I've had situations where I've had terrible horrific dates that were incredibly painful I've had terrific dates that never went anywhere And I look at each experience as an opportunity to love myself And that's my invitation for everybody is to stop focusing on the destination And appreciate the ride Buddha says all suffering comes From the attachment to an outcome. This is why I highly recommend this book If the Buddha dated if the Buddha dated the subtitle a handbook for finding love on a spiritual path I can tell you if you read the books. I recommend And say to yourself, you know what it's okay if I don't meet my guy because I have a great relationship with myself And what's gonna happen is a great guy will show up So instead of focusing on what's wrong focus on what's right and what's right Love is a risk It's still the best game in town and what I mean is a romantic partnership is still the best game in town So that's my invitation for you from my perspective and I hope that share helps you as well, jennifer Thank you so much and I get it by the way Sable mindset says what do you do if on each date? Out he gets his son with him So I think I'm assuming the question is what to do if on each date he brings his child with him That's not really a healthy way To now if you're at a soccer practice and you're at with your child or something you connect with someone I mean that's not really a date But if someone has to bring their child with them It's hard to truly get to know them at a deeper Emotionally intimate level because you can't speak as adults when a child is in the room So I'm not a big proponent of that and I wouldn't want to date So I wouldn't want to date a woman who brought her son with her every single time that would be That I just wouldn't be turned on by that and I wouldn't want to do that and I hope you feel the same That's just my opinion on it Denise writes I agree having expectation attachments to outcome can lead to pain love yourself first exactly that's exactly it and folks, this is why I'm such a big proponent of doing Reading all the books I recommend because when you've read all these books Like I have I've let go of my codependency. I've let go of my attach my anxious attachment style If you're not familiar with the book attached by amir levine and rachel heller I highly recommend understanding attachment style because when I could let go of my anxious attachment style I'm free to actually explore a relationship at a deeper level I'm free when you learn how to let go of your attachment style And then to follow up on that is understanding what's known as the amago the amago You have to read this book getting the love you want by harbell hindricks and hell and hunt This is our pattern and it's so funny. I got an email just before this live stream From a woman. She said jonathan. I can't stand it that you recommend all these books But I just decided to she bought this book I decided to buy one of the books you recommend reluctantly and begrudgingly And she said I read the first chapters and she said, oh my god I learned so much about myself in just the first chapter two chapters of this book She goes you are a godsend jonathan. Thank you so much for Like literally I hit people over the head read these books read these books read these well read this book first, okay By the way, there's a link to my book in the description By the way, there's another book I want to recommend in a moment But why I'm recommending all these books is if you want to change your life from the inside out Most of you are so struggling in relationship because it's outside in you want men To find a way to make you feel good instead of learning how to feel good and then attracting a great guy And I know many of you you are Look at the ego is insidious It creates an illusion around us that we're so Emotionally healthy and I can tell you that 97 percent of the male female population is emotionally Stunted especially in the area of their individual spirituality And if you want to go to ninja level learning I mean what i'm about to share with you is ninja level learning But there's a great book by jeff brown called grounded spirituality grounded spirituality now This is a thick book. I bought the book and I bought the audio version I listened to it at the same time while I was reading because this is this stuff is deep This is like next gen. I mean this is you know Star track next generation 5.0 level ninja level personal development work If you really want to shift your life from the inside out, I recommend doing this work I recommend doing this work because here's the thing You can it's like the line in the movie shashank redemption You can get busy living or you can get busy dying What's the definition of insanity doing Doing the same thing over and over and over again and expecting different results because we've all been indoctrinated By the stupid fucking rules book if you want to change your life Check out all these books. I recommend and I definitely recommend jeff brown's book grounded spirituality. I hope that helps all right God bless you. Thank you so much All right grace writes is it okay to discuss the kind of kisses you like to give and receive before you kiss someone you know Yeah, well, it's kind of like I like giving sexually innuendos just to see if a woman will have sex I'm just kidding. Well, I'm not kidding. I've done that but yeah, sure You know you can I think you know what let's stop this by the way when it comes to dating Most dating is that surface above level the iceberg, right? Let's go deeper. Yeah. Just say hey You just tell a guy. What's a sensual kiss type of kiss you like just be curious Be curious and ask Ask curious questions. It's absolutely okay to ask Unusual curious questions because you never know what may come of it. You might bond in asking a question like that So I think that's a great question to ask so go for it Okay, um, ooh Cecilia, let's get that one We have a hundred mile between us we talk and text every day and he calls me Nightly before we go to sleep Before without fail we date in person whenever we can he cares for his 88 year old mother. What do you think of us? Okay So let me just tell you ladies something and listen up and really pay attention Men do not bond over the telephone. Men do not bond over the telephone We might express our problems. We might share our stuff with a woman over the telephone But that's not how we bond with you. How do we bond? Social activities hobbies mutual interest spending time and family and friends traveling together. That's emotional and physical intimacy The telephone is not emotional intimacy. It's just it's like you're basically his therapist Okay, that's what the telephone time is. It's like talking to your therapist That's what men want femininity because we can't talk to our male friends about our problems So if you're incessantly talking on the phone, he's not bonding with you You're bonding you have bonded beyond belief most likely So there's an imbalance you bonded and he hasn't bonded at all Until you actually spend a minimum of 100 hours of face-to-face time in roughly the first 30 to 60 days of dating roughly the first 30 to 60 days of dating that 100 hours of face-to-face time is level one bonding Level two bonding is that deeper spending time with family and friends doing activities traveling together That's where the next level of bonding Happens so to answer your question. What do I think I think your chances are ridiculously slim And without a game plan of how you're going to take 100 miles to like this If you have no consciousness around that how to make that happen This is just simply what I call a cyber relationship. This is a virtue. Excuse me a virtual relationship It's not real until it's actually you're doing shit together And by the way, anybody who's happily married they didn't spend You know a long period of time on the telephone. They did shit together right from the very beginning So ask yourself What do you really want in relationship because here's the thing if you're like me Three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities hobbies mutual interest spending time with family and friends Traveling together team working build both in our personal and our professional life emotional and physical intimacy together I don't want to wait weeks people people that do that Oftentimes choose those relationships because they're at least having something is better than nothing I'm going to repeat that manner and by the way the guy could be sleeping around with 10 women for all you know That's the other disadvantage of long distances. He's not spending time with you. Where is he getting his sexual needs met? Maybe there's a friend with benefits around the corner. You don't know about That's one of the reasons why spend face-to-face time together. That's my recommendation for you I'd like to hear your thoughts on that. Please. Let me know All right, denise writes jonathan Are you the only man that worked on personal development? No Laugh out loud. I want to hear about others working on healing and maturing I've worked my ass off like jonathan. I need hope. Okay. Great question. Denise So when I did the hoffman process Okay I was shocked when I got there. There was 40 people 21 men and 19 women. Let me repeat that 21 men and 19 women I was shocked. I thought I was kind of hoping it'd be all women because I love to you know be around all women I I've been to the I've been to an abraham hicks seminar if you're not familiar with abraham hicks It's the law of attraction in los angeles. I can tell you out of 1,000 people there was easily 500 men if not more. Okay. I've been to insight insight Insight is in los angeles. Well, they're all over the world insight When I went there and I did first when I did the hundred when I did the insight one there was 125 people easily 50 of those people were men. I did insight two Half men half literally half men and half women and I did insight three half men and half women Men are doing personal development They are if you want to meet men that do personal development Then hang out with people who do personal development because I can tell you a lot of men do personal development I'm shocked always because I I would think women do it But believe me and if you go to a tony robbins event It's going to be easily 50 60 percent of men, but that's usually because men are trying to heal their business life and not their emotional life So and then there's some workshops for men and there's some workshops for women I can tell you there is plenty of hope And uh, by the way a lot of people hook up at these events whether it's hoffman or insight or whatnot So if you want to check out where they are start going to personal development events And now that covet is kind of starting to become less Impactful here in the united states you can go out and meet people that way That's my suggestion start hanging out with personal development people great question there danice. Thank you all right Well, we're going to take grace's question as our last one. I told the man i'm dating I dreamed he was kissing me and woke up feeling awesome. He got quiet was I too bold You know if a guy got quiet Either a he's not that into you Which I'd be shocked. Um But b he's a wimp I'm sorry that to me is someone gets well he might have gotten nervous for a second But why did he get nervous? Maybe he just he's I'm I'm sorry to put it this way But if someone said that to me it would be a total turn on I would just lean in and You know, I would just go I would do pda right then and there if that happened Um, so it might be that he has some emotional issues that he feels uncomfortable with receiving love He feels uncomfortable with receiving love because what you did was sent him love and he couldn't receive it I want to tell you something one of the challenges with most men and women is they have a difficult time receiving love Men have this issue and women have this issue This is one of the reasons why people prefer to be in control They they want to control the outcome because they have a hard time receiving love This is why doing all this personal development work Helps to be able to receive love because most people have a hard time Either they're givers or they're takers, but it's not about being with a taker. It's about being with a receiver This is why when I say a relationship is a two lane street It's giving and receiving receiving and giving giving and receiving giving and receiving receiving and giving A lot of people are givers and they choose people or takers But the oftentimes they they're either takers or they're rejecters like what he did is reject because he's incapable Most likely of receiving love. That's just my interpretation based on the question. That's not an absolute. So I hope that helped All right Well, I'm scrolling through to see if there's any other questions if you have a question post the word question Well, you know what it's an hour now and I've got a telephone date I've got a I've got a phone date coming up. So I should go and prepare for that I think this would be a great time to wrap up just really quickly those four Central ways to kiss a guy the unexp- hold on a second Thanks again grace So just as a reminder those four central ways to kiss a guy the unexpected kiss lean in when he least expects it Number two come close and just pull slightly away. He'll pursue a kiss The bite his lip. Mmm. God. I love that Along with what was the uh, well, of course and then fourth is grab his butt The body while kissing, you know push that body together Um And of course if anyone could do the spider-man kiss, that's great the upside down kiss Folks, I want to thank you so much for allowing me to come into your life today I really appreciate those who are on the live stream live and certainly if you've gotten this far to the recording I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I try to do live streams three times a week monday wednesday friday Four o'clock pacific coast time on monday and wednesday and three o'clock on pacific coast time on friday I do my best to meet up that schedule So this would be a great time to wrap up this uh live stream first off I'm gonna give myself a big gigantic job the bear hug of self love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone or a pat or a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives Thank you from the bottom of my heart and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye. Bye now