 So I was just sitting here in my living room my whole studio apartment thing with my girlfriend looking over at the hamster tank Where the hamster is its name is doughnut. We called him a he that's what we were calling him at the time because the person Who handed the hamster over said oh, yeah, that's the male one right in this five pack accidental litter I'm trying to give away as quickly as possible. We were seeing some nipples on doughnut over here Make it know what it makes of the girl, right and then just randomly out of nowhere one evening a couple hours ago I look right in here. It's empty right now, but there were three fresh hamster babies What? Yeah, just just a baby. What I don't see it. Do you really get it? No, I don't know I don't you don't want to stress them out, right? Okay, yeah, just like three bright eyes closed I wanted to say why died, but that's not how babies work hamster babies It was freaky because it was all like, you know when you see a mouse type creature That's not supposed to be there. You're all like, um, oh shit a mouse and you're like you're really all tense about it You know, but if you see a hamster in a cage where it's supposed to be you're like, oh, okay That's fine, but when you see an undocumented litter of mice like creatures that are in their cage But they're not supposed to exist. It's like a weird half-and-half level to freaked out So I'm like, dude, there's baby just baby hamsters in there and Nicky's all like what no and like no no Oh my god, what so that they're already like a week old so they just have not even like been around yet I'm sorry. They're all asleep right now, but I'm trying to tell the story So we start like phoning up our friends being like, hey you guys want some baby hamsters, you know stuff like that And so we're talking about what we're gonna have to do about that And then all of a sudden I get some discord notification from Nate who's like yo DaVoo You need to get in this little chat conversation. We're doing over here. Oh, there they are. There's five I don't know if you can see it's too dark. There's five. There's five At first we only saw three and then we were seeing four. There's five of them. Okay, we need to stop We okay, I'm sorry We wanted to disrupt them for the sake of art But this is too far because obviously we're stressing them out right so great Yeah, we turned into like a bomb shelter thing. Oh gosh. I'm sorry I'm sorry, but you have to you have to be sacrificed for the sake of a story So Nate tells me oh man get in this whole conversation. We're having so I'm like, okay So go over to the PCP discord server. There's no chat happening. So I'm about to post Yo, where's this supposed chat happening? But then I realized there's this all-new server that's been created that I've been invited to and I'm like, oh and like Monkeys not in it and I'm like, oh So then we're having a discussion about all these things that have been going on for the last several months and like Like oh wow that whole whether or not we should kick monkey thing has finally come to a head Holy shit. And so that I'm fucking Nikki comes up to me like we have to go buy a special cage for the hamsters right now because there's so many babies There's so many fucking babies We don't know if she's gonna try eating some of them and it was like wait what so we have to go and get a get another cage And I'm like but but I'm talking to my friends about whether or not to kick monkey like we were putting it up to a Vote we were we were having like an extensive preamble discussion about it And I had already not been privy to a lot of it Like it was a discussion had been taking place all day and I got it like invited like pretty close to the last minute last hour for sure Yeah, there it is And so like so then I'm like the Nikki's like we gotta go we gotta go save the hamsters I'm like, I'm sorry guys. I gotta go save the hamsters So I'm talking about the hamsters while they're talking about like blah blah blah blah, you know like human drama You know monkey being irresponsible for the thing but all but Ben's all like but he can't be held responsible Then I'm here like we have to got by another cage. It could be a small one. We can put it on your credit card Right, I know we're almost out of money, but it's an emergency and I'm like I don't know about that and did he's all like what does this have to do with hamsters? Like he's a half monkey not half hamster and I'm like I'm trying to save the hamsters I'm trying to kick monkey and save the hamsters at the same time. I can't do that many hashtags I'm not some fucking SJW. I can't cut save this many causes all at once so we get in the car and I turn on my discord app on my phone and then like You know we're driving through and we got the AC like pumped way up and we're on the highway and the car Is not that quiet so I'm like going like hey guys I'm back in the chat is my audio like somewhat listenable and they're like it's literally a new level of bad audio And I'm like oh well I just want to say this about like monkey and like the nature of psychology and like like like the parameters of friendship and like Codes of conduct between individuals and consenting adults But also oh my god, how we're gonna like make sure the hamster survived. So let me go to we go to Yeah, we do that I don't look look I'm still not into the whole like considering pets as children thing I have to get a little bit more emotionally attached before I can go to that level of hyperbola. So then we're over at pet smart That's the one yeah pet smart we drive into pet smart and like I'm still listening them on my phone with my earbud My my microphone is muted because I had the phone in my pocket without it being muted And they were like what the hell is going on you in a tumble dryer tornado or something So I muted it so I'm in pet smart. Oh shit what his eyes are open. Oh shit That means they're older than we think, huh? We have to separate them asap or else we're gonna continue the same problem that had been inherited upon us Fuck my ass Although don't take that to heart guys seriously. We're trying to prevent such things anyway So okay fucking um, so I'm at pet smart But my phone batteries dying and I'm like they're just talking about like you know Ben's all like but this and this and that thing that monkey then Jesse's like yeah But that and this and that thing that monkey did and it did she's dropping fucking bombshells Like I never liked monkey in the PZP what I never could have fucking guessed that and it's like 3% battery life What if we get this little cage over here 2% battery life and monkeys and even really that good anyway One and a half percent battery life you guys should be able to completely get rid of monkey immediately Just because I shed a single tear of sadness 0% battery like couldn't charge my phone like damn it damn it damn it damn it Let's just buy any case. Okay. What if you get this way like 60 bucks anything just buy anything I need to get the car put the car phone in the car charger for driving home driving home charging up the battery It gets up to 4% talking and like Monkey the nature of life and then everything and I come home and all like oh, but this and this and that point about look This isn't really like a legal issue. This is a friendship issue and friendship issues stuff like that Can you help me put this attempt to the hamster cage together so we put it together We have a little cancer cage right here I guess right now literally just now Nikki has realized that we need to start putting them in the cages because their eyes are open meaning they're older than we Thought meaning the dead meaning that don't its head Donate or donut with holes as we're gonna call her now No She is not officially donate with holes. Well, that's her. That's her maiden name. I'll give her donut hole. Okay fine So um fucking so I guess right now we're realizing that they're older than we thought she's been keeping us on the doubt The donut down low for so long. We should have known. How did we not knew it? You had him very carefully caged up in there motherfucker. So anyway, um, so then yeah We say we saved the hamsters and also kick monkey. Um Yeah What do you have to say about this issue? I'm a grandmother