 This meeting is being recorded. Okay, now we know what's working. Hey, thanks guys for joining us to talk more about trauma interventions. I am Steph Lundgren from the PD department at ESU 8 and I get to work with all of you lovely Paris every other month and for a whole day every August. And Sonya, do you want to go ahead and introduce yourself. I am Sonya Suckup. I am a licensed mental health practitioner with ESU 8. And this year I am serving four different school districts in the western part of ESU 8. And you're a frequent visitor here with us, Paris, right? I love the Paris like this is this is my crowd. Awesome. Well, we love you. So thanks so much for making time today to join us. And today's topic of trauma interventions really came about from the Paris surveys that we did in August. So this is brought to you by request. So, and I always an important topic of how do we help kids when they're in have lived through trauma experience trauma or are in those situations where their trauma reactions are coming out. And then Sonya you just tell me when you want me to advance and I'll just keep on rolling. All right, well everybody knows who I am so let's keep it going. So the when when stuff approached me to talk talk about trauma interventions today I wanted to reflect on the things that I talked to the para group about before. And I wanted to get a bit more specific about some of the things that I have mentioned before but not gone into depth about so today we're going to be covering about three interventions that I think across the board are really helpful are really helpful. And I think also I wanted to talk about these because they, they work with children and adults who've experienced trauma. But they also work with adults and children who've not experienced trauma. So I think these interventions across the board are really profound in our ability to work with people engage with people work with kids and engage with kids. So let's keep going stuff. Okay. All right. Clear in our board. We got all kinds of stuff on our board we can't see you. Okay. No that's, that's right our screen is shared and then Sonya is that over to the side. Right, but it's covering up all the words. And you can drag that bar with the pick. Well, I have the bar at the top. So let me see if I move it if it moves for you know. If you go to your screen. Do you see that. Well, let's just remove it for now. And if you need anything just just holler again so I'll I'll just get rid of that video panel. Now do you see the video panel. Go away to the pictures go away. I have one that says do you want to continue without audio up there and then we have another one that says this meeting is being recorded. You need to get the one about the audio is the one that's a duplicate that you have two screens open. So we can just hit continue on that. Instead of join audio we can continue. Yes, you need to probably just turn that one off completely. And then the meeting is being recorded. Okay. Okay. On your screen, can you drag the pictures to a different spot, or on your computer screen. Thank you. You bet. Now, if you can just make sure. Yeah, I don't know how we have two screens open but I doesn't seem to be echoing so. Okay, back to you, Sonya. All right. So the first intervention that I want to talk to you about is being with. Okay. The phrase itself may seem incredibly simplistic, but the act of being with is incredibly complex. The language helps us understand that there are six key emotions that is really important that we build the capacity to be with people in these feelings. And there's a lot of things that can get in the way of that. There are two kind of elements that are required to make be with more successful. Empathy. Are you guys familiar with the Brené Brown Empathy video? I think we may have watched that before. If not just YouTube Brené Brown Empathy and it gives a really great overview of what empathy truly is. And it's really our ability to put ourselves in the similar same emotional state of that person who's struggling. It allows us to tap into this level of attunement within ourselves to understand what that person is going through. That in itself helps us connect with that other person. The second thing that's really required in order to be with someone is vulnerability. It's required to be empathetic, to be a bit vulnerable. And if you're going to truly be with another person in whatever emotion it is that they're struggling with, you have to be vulnerable enough yourself to feel that feeling and be able and willing to handle what they bring you. Go ahead and advance to the next slide. So this I think is a beautiful representation of being with in the capacity of it's an uncomfortable emotion and it's hard. But this is demonstrated so beautifully. This is a clip from Inside Out. And we are going to witness the true power and what can happen if we're able to be with another person in their struggle. I just need to get back to headquarters. Which way to the train station? I had a whole trip planned for us. Hey, who's ticklish? Here comes the tickle monster. Bing Bong, look at this. Oh, here's a fun game. You point to the train station and we all go there. Won't that be fun? Come on, let's go to the train station. I'm sorry they took your rocket. They took something that you loved. Sadness, don't make him feel worse. Sorry. It's all I had left of Riley. I bet you and Riley had great adventures. Oh, they were wonderful. Once we flew back in time we had breakfast twice that day. Sadness, that sounds amazing. I bet Riley liked it. Oh, she did. We were best friends. Yeah. I'm okay now. The train station is this way. All right, we can stop it there. How did you do that? So, I think in this video it demonstrates how as adults, oftentimes we don't have time for the emotional outpour that comes with the intensity that kids bring sometimes, the intensity that adults bring sometimes, because we have stuff to do. We have things that we have to accomplish. And joy, the tall woman with blue hair worked so hard to convince Bing Bong that he didn't have to be sad. We have things to do. We have places to be. We have places to be. And Sadness acknowledged and recognized that he wasn't moving anywhere until he was able to express the true feeling that he was having. She was able to be present with him. She did a lot of validating. That must be really hard. And she sat with him in that really, really tough feeling. And when it got to a point where he had to cry, he didn't steer away. She leaned in for what she knew he needed as a hug, right? Again, I think this is a beautiful representation of how being with can be so powerful, but it can happen so quickly. Joy could have spent all day trying to talk Bing Bong out of his sadness. That would have taken all day. I think the power of being with is truly represented by meeting people where they're at. Being able to be with them where they're at. Go ahead and go to the next slide. That was so good. We had to watch it again. So this is just a true fact about us as a grown-ups. We work hard all day long to sidestep uncomfortable feelings. A great example would be when you ask your colleagues, hey, how's your day going? Our general assumption is that we're going to be able to be with each other all day long. We're going to be able to be with each other all day long. We're going to be able to be with each other all day long. Our general assumption and expectation is that everyone says fine. It's the one time when someone says I'm having a really bad day that you're like, oh, don't know what to do about that. What to say about that. And I have things to do. Sorry about that. Bye. The reality is on a continuum, we're not going to be able to be with each other all day long. We're not going to be able to be with each other all day long. And I think that's a really good thing. I mean, everything's good. Right. So if we take into consideration what students are coming to school with, specifically trauma kiddos. They're coming with a lot of feelings. They're coming with a lot of experiences. They're coming with a lot of heavy stuff that they don't know what to do with. They're coming with a lot of emotions. They're coming with a lot of emotions. They're coming with a lot of emotions. They're coming with a lot of emotions. They're coming with a lot of emotions that they can be ready to be with them in all of that heaviness and all of those emotions that they bring. So here's what I propose. What if we lean into those feelings. Instead of working so hard to sidestep them. With your colleagues instead of saying, man, that sucks. Got to go by. What if we pause for a moment. What if we lean into those feelings. We experience a bit of vulnerability. We lean into it and say. That's really hard. What happened. And be willing to be present and be with them. In that moment of difficulty. What if we do that with students. Instead of. Sometimes does it, sometimes does it not come out as like, you know, it's not going to come out as like like a, a bad thing. And then I think that was really sad and was sad and it was from a very understandably sad place. But I think about those kids that maybe act out and. And hit someone. Damage property, whatever it may be that. Tend to be on maybe some behaviors that get us a little bit more angry. Really fast. and just to be able to say to them to instead of shame on you and you need to not do that and you're ruining things to, oh my gosh, how does this feel after this? How are you feeling? What happened that, you know, you made you maybe not feel so good and had this happen? I mean, I think Ross Green says kids do well if they can and I 110% believe that. And I think when kids struggle, they're trying to tell us something. They're communicating that they're not okay. They want to be well, but they don't know how to be well. And I think as the smart grownups that we are, we have to lean into that and know that, right? Perfect example, I was working with a student this week who is just not ready to learn. And so I just sat with the student. No expectations, no reminding of the rules, just sat. No expectations. And all of a sudden, the student starts to speak. Sometimes kids are just looking for windows for adults to get it. And our ability to be with them and be present is sometimes what's required in order for that to happen. Yeah, some compassion instead of the harshness that we, maybe culturally has been the way to deal with some of those behaviors as with harshness and rules and consequence instead of just that compassion to be with them and to help them process what's going on and why it happened. Yeah. Something that may be useful is something that I still have to tell myself is that these are little people. And if they're not demonstrating pro-social behavior, if they're struggling emotionally, if they're not doing what the grownups want them to do, it's because they need my help. They need my help knowing how to do it and when to do it. And not only do I have to teach them, I have to teach them in a loving way that they're going to be able to understand me. And they can't be at the expense of our relationship. So I have the luxury of not being the rule enforcer. I mean, rules are important, but kids know that they're not going to get in trouble when they come to me. And it's incredible what kids will do and say when they know that they can be their authentic selves without fear of being punished. And that comes with having challenging behavior, right? If you have a challenging behavior in school, it will be consequences. So again, empathy and compassion go a really, really long way in helping stay connected to these kids to help them calm and help them be ready to learn. So the other hard part, incredibly hard part about being with is that it has, there's this level of awareness in ourselves to notice our own struggle, right? So, Steph, you give the example of the kid who's throwing stuff and really having a hard time. Internally, we might be upset ourselves because they're not following the rules and they're throwing things and that's disrespectful. And that can bring up emotions in ourselves. And those big emotions limit our ability to be with these students and their feelings. So I've talked about mirror neurons before, but mirror neurons are this way that humans learn from one another and we connect with one another. And if you've ever been in a room with another person, you might notice some mimicking body language. That's mirror neurons working. But the same thing happens when we're experiencing emotion. Like when you're having a rough day, kids pick up on it. Those are the days they push your buttons the most, right? If you are able to notice your own struggle, identify your own feelings and remind yourself, they're little people and they need me right now. They need my help. It's not about me. It's not about me. Little kids are not doing this to you. They're doing this because they need you. And I think that's incredibly powerful and profound and a way that we can help calm our own. Intensity in these situations to be present with these kids. And adults too. Another important component of being with is. To limit the distractions. I think it's really easy to get drawn away from the moment. The example I will use is if you are in an intense moment with someone in the phone rings. So incredibly distracting and you feel disconnected right away. So really limiting distractions. And the true art. Of attuning to children. That's just simply leaning in. And I think that's really important. Using everything that you know about that student, everything that you know about their needs. To make some guesses, some hypotheses about what's going on. And then lean in, lean in and being available to be with. That student. And I think as schools, we have to work to give people grace. So you might be late to the next class. But you know, you might be late to the next class. You might be late to the next class. You might be late to the, you know, the period before needed you to be with them. And, you know, it took 15 minutes longer. You know, as schools and as, you know, personnel, we have to be able to give that grace to know. There are some things that are more important than being on time. We have to. Honor those situations and give them that the time that they need. You know, I'm trying to talk them out of that feeling all day long. You're going to be out of learning time all day long. But if you pause. Lean in. Notice your own struggle. Be with that person in their struggle. It could be a matter of seconds versus a matter of minutes, hours out of learning time. So in the end. The child benefits and you benefit, right? So, I think I said giving yourself permission to do that. Really important. And then finally, kids know when we're present. They also know when we're not present. They know when we're available and when we're not available. When we're not available, they will do things in more intense ways. In order to become available. Why do kids present with challenging behavior? And it's kids have to demonstrate more intense behaviors to get more intense needs met, right? So when in that shell, that's being with. If you have more questions about your own process in being with students or how you can do that or what that looks like for you, please let me know. I would love to support you in your ability to truly be with students when they're having a hard time or just throughout the day, right? You can be with students when they are okay as well. All right, let's keep moving on. So the next thing that I wanna talk to you guys about is something that I get very excited to talk about. It is co-regulation. Regulation, not talking about rules, regulation talking about a state of being. When we are regulated, that means that we are in this kind of homeostasis. We're not good, we're not bad, we're just there, right? That's where we function best. Co-regulation is the art of helping calm or regulate a child by way of sharing your calm or regulation. We're gonna listen to Bruce Perry in a moment in a video and he will explain it a bit more, but the idea is that this is something that babies learn in utero. And there are some important components to that, including pattern and rhythm. But over time, we have to find things that work for us. We'll identify things that don't work for us, but we have to learn this through a safe person. And if we don't learn this through a safe person, we will have a hard time regulating, self-regulating. So you may hear those terms used in education, self-regulation, self-regulating tools, those types of things, but it's oftentimes missed how we get to self-regulation. And it takes co-regulation, meaning another safe person to help us get there. All right, let's go to the video. And Steph, if you wouldn't mind, I wanna start the video at 212. Okay, I'm just gonna move my little bar at the bottom here so I can see that. So this is my main man, Bruce Perry. He is a nurse psychiatrist and he- Most powerful. Go ahead. He is incredible in terms of the world of helping us understand childhood trauma in the brain. I'm doing a book study right now on his recent book with him in Oprah. And he's kind of my idol. So, that's awesome. Tools that we have to regulate are what we call somato sensory activities. And it basically rhythmic movement, rhythmic sound, rhythmic visual input. And I can just tell you this and say, oh yeah, do rhythmic things, it'll make things better. And that's probably not that helpful. But if I help you understand why rhythmic things can make you feel better regulated, I think more people will sort of connect with this. So, one of the things that we know from neuroscience is that during development and even after development that the major mechanism that the brain uses to kind of make sense out of the world is to take all this incoming sensory input and when it occurs simultaneously, if sensory input comes in separately into the brain, but it's happening at the same time with sufficient frequency, it connects things. So, when you see something and hear something at the same time again and again and again and again, your brain connects the fire truck with the siren or the dog with the bark. And that's how your brain makes sense out of the world. So, your brain makes associations between things that co-occur. In utero, when you're little fetus, your fetal body is sending signals back to the lower part of your brain, the stress regulatory part of your brain saying, hey, I'm not hungry because I'm getting nonstop calories and sending signals back that say, hey, I'm not thirsty because I'm in liquid. And it's sending signals back that say, hey, I'm not cold, it's 98.7 in here. So, all of these feedback signals from the fetal body to the fetal brain are that I'm regulated. Now, that's happening at the same time that sensory input coming in through other routes, through your senses, the fetal senses are coming in in this syncopated rhythmic way, basically driven by mother's maternal heart rate. So, vibration from the aorta, tapping on the diaphragm, so movement from the heart literally moving inside the body of the mother, and then the sound of the syncopated rhythm of the heartbeat. So those rhythms and sub-multiples of those rhythms become associated with being regulated. And so, as you get older, after you're born, simply rocking a child at a frequency that's similar to maternal heart rate makes them feel safer and regulated. And so opens up their cortex and makes them open for business. A little boy who's bladder started to get more and more full and he's just learning how, he literally starts to rock himself while he plays Legos because he's feeling discomfort and they wanna finish my Lego castle. And, but rocking has nothing to do with your bladder. It has to do with making the kid feel better regulated because he's getting signals that say, hey, I'm full. And so we do this all the time. If you ever seen Pete Carroll, the football coach for the Seattle Seahawks Chugum during a football game, he's trying to regulate himself. And we all do this. We all have some form of pattern, repetitive rhythmic activity that makes us feel regulated. It could be walking, running, swimming, music, could be needlework, could be art. And different people are kind of different and develop different preferences. But as an educator, the great thing is that you can start using this in your classroom to take kids that might be dysregulated and start to make them feel more regulated. And so if you start your classroom with four minutes of pattern, repetitive, rhythmic activity, it could be breathing, it could be, you do a little bilateral movement, it could be jumping jacks. It depends on the age of the child and so forth. You could use a little music, hip-hop music, if you're a little older. But if you start the class that way, more kids are gonna be ready for business. And then if every 10, 15 minutes, you have a little two-minute somatosensory break, you can reset these kids who are starting to get dysregulated. And again, these are one of the things that we try to use in this neuro-sequential model is help educators figure out. So I love the way that Dr. Perry explains how this whole idea of co-regulation comes to be. I think that this place is a unique opportunity for paras because you guys are in the classrooms and I think you see kids becoming dysregulated all the time. It's just you can't put a label on it, right? So it's when kids start to squirm around, it's when kids start to fidget, it's when kids start to do the things that as adults were like, oh, that's irritating, right? That's their way of trying to find different ways to regulate as the adults in the classroom. Maybe you get to channel that a little bit, right? So when I'm working with students or even classroom teachers on regulation strategies, maybe you have four or five that you offer students and then they pick one that may work for them better and maybe you get to coach them through that moment, right? Right here, this is a pen and I always get pens with the metal, I don't even know what they're called, clip things. The reason why, because if I have plastic ones, I break them off all the time. They don't last because a regulatory strategy that my brain and my body discovered without me being aware of it is when I start to dysregulate, I'll put it on my finger and I'll just start to tap. It's non-disruptive, I don't notice I'm doing it. Most times other people don't notice that I'm doing it and these things happen all the time with students. But remember for trauma kiddos who are inherently going to need support in regulating and coming back to baseline, we will have to be supportive and flexible and helping them learn some of these tools. So I think we do a really great job at knowing the strategies, take a deep breath, ask for a break, right? But co-regulation is all about the co-part, doing it with, coaching through, supporting with, right? Only when we can see students doing it independently is that self-regulation. Co-regulation is what is required, the teaching piece from the adult in order to help that student self-regulate. Any questions about that? Okay, I have an entire list of strategies that I would love to share with you all. Maybe I'll send it to Steph and she can upload it with this recording. And if you ever have questions about regulatory strategies, please reach out. I'd love to support you with those. All right, let's move on. Sorry. It's okay. It always, when you hit advance, it always starts the video again, so. All right, so the last thing that I wanted to talk to you about is Dan Siegel. He is also a neuropsychiatrist and he does a ton of stuff with kids and parents. And this strategy is called Connect, Redirect. Steph, am I allowed to share my screen? I will make sure that you can, right here. Okay, so I wanna show everybody something. And again, I can send it to Steph so that you can upload it to the drive with, excellent. There you go. So again, I could explain this or I could just show you how to do, show you the resource and then you guys can interpret that. Do I have to stop my share to get you? Yeah, I think so. Sorry. It's all right. All right, so this is a refrigerator sheet for you all. It is tailored for teachers, educators. So the whole concept of Connect, redirect is, we're going to capitalize on relationship, the relationship that we have with this person. We're gonna capitalize on a felt sense of connectedness with that person. And we are going to be incredibly aware of, remember when I talked about our own feelings getting in the way, we're gonna be really aware of that first. Okay. We gotta be aware of what emotions are going on for me right now. How do I acknowledge those and put them on pause and remind myself that I can handle this, this little person is struggling and they need me present. They need me right now, okay? And then we get to get curious. What's going on with the student? Why are they engaging in this behavior episode, struggle moment? You get to be curious about why it may be happening. And then you get to think about what I do next matters, right? So there's always the two paths. I don't know why we got stuck on two paths but there's always two paths. You can go the route of follow directions, follow the rules, get back to work, right? Or we can take a path of, I wanna make sure that you understand I'm here for you, right? So the connection strategy is get on eye level, reduce the power differential. If they're on the floor, get on the floor. If you don't wanna get on the floor, it's as low as possible with them, right? Let them know that you're there and you're non-threatening and your role is to not remind them of the rules. Your role is to support them through that moment. Again, you have to be empathetic. Empathy is just so important in the process of supporting kids with big feelings. And then you gotta validate what they're experiencing. And that can be as simple as, wow, I can see that you're really sad. Sadness did that for Bing Bong. Or it could be, wow, I noticed that you're really frustrated. And let me tell you, if you get it wrong, kids will let you know. I have done it before and it's, wow, I can see you're really frustrated. I'm not frustrated, I'm very mad. Okay, yeah, I can see that. You are really mad. You are mad, yeah. Acknowledge and even embrace those emotions. Like, yeah, it's okay to be mad. It's okay to be mad. It's okay, I'm here with you right now. Even if something has happened, right? Because something always happens, they've thrown the pencil, they've tossed the chair, right? You have to validate their experience. You gotta listen. If you remember the story I told earlier about the student who was shut down, I sat and I said nothing. Sat and I said nothing. Because remember Joy, she tried all the words. She tried all the words to help Bing Bong be okay. And it didn't work. So stop talking and listen. And then if they are able to talk to you or tell you things, reflect back with them. So I hear you say that your math is too hard right now. Man, that is frustrating. And after you do this a couple back and forth times, right? They feel connected to you. They feel safe with you. At some point you understand what the problem is and you're already thinking of ways that you can make it better or make it different because they're gonna need your help to do that. When they are calm and only when they are calm, you will know that they are calm because of their body language, their voice tone, their body movements, that attunement that we talked about in being with. You'll sense their calm because you're calm, right? Then and only then can you move on to redirect. This is the teach piece. This is, wow, that did not go very good the first time. How are we gonna change this so that next time it goes better, right? So if it's, I threw my pencil because math was too hard. Hey, it is okay to be frustrated. Not so okay to throw your pencil. Next time you get frustrated, let's negotiate some things that you can do instead. Kids are on board with this. They want to know things that they can do instead of throw their pencil. But throwing their pencils, the only thing that they knew how to do in that moment, right? And then the critical part of this is knowing how can you teach that? Whatever you decide, whatever the, what are we gonna do instead? How do I teach that? And we can't forget about practice, right? I learned how to ride a bike, but I did not learn how to ride a bike without skinning my knees several times, right? You have to practice, practice, practice. And let me tell you, this isn't in the redirect piece, but it is very important. When you see kids knocking it out of the park, you have to offer them praise, praise, praise, praise, praise. You did such a great job of letting us know that you were frustrated in using XYZ tool. I am so proud of you, because then they're gonna be more likely to use it again, right? All right. That is connect, redirect and a nutshell. Again, I'll send that to Steph so you guys can go through that refrigerator sheet. If you have questions on that, please let me know. Getting back to our presentation here. Sorry. Maybe, just a second, sorry. There we go. Awesome. All right, so my little portion today is I want us to reflect on our words and the words we use. And because it's just about Valentine's Day, it's really do our words convey love and make sure kids feel loved and accepted and wanted and all those positive things. This is so important for us to reflect on because, well, we'll watch a video here in just a moment that helps us kind of see it. And I want you to really watch this little guy and see his experiences with the different adults and how they treat him and act with him. And I want you to think about tone of voice and the words that are said. So let's go ahead and take a look. Ew! Did you see that? Why would somebody do that? Please go into the classroom. No talking quietly. Hey, Ms. Merida, Ty, you did one. We need you inside. How do you think that makes us feel? I forgot my number. What's your name? Jordan. What's your last name? Carter. Go ahead. School is hard enough. Come on in, sit down quietly at your desk and begin writing. This kind of stuff just makes it harder. I said quietly, please. Who's talking? Is it you, Sophie? Don't let it be you. Don't believe me. Please just watch. I'm not up here for me. I'm up here for you. Pay attention, okay? Now, somebody answered me. Somebody needs to answer me really fast. Every time we're ignored or yelled at or silenced, a teacher takes away what's possible. No horseplay, no running, and especially no talking. Moment by moment. Ms. McGarrity, your student's behavior yesterday in the lunch room, it was terrible. Next time, silent lunch. Did you hear that? Stay in line and catch a bubble. I'm not playing. If this is education, we're in trouble. Bye, Ms. McGarrity. Frederick Douglas said, once you learn to read, you'll be forever free. The way is now, two of the three of us will never be able to really read. It doesn't have to be this way. Hey, Jordan, how you doing? Good. Good. Everyone we meet throughout our day can make a difference. I've been waiting for you to arrive. All the difference. Good, how are you? Good morning, Jordan. How are you? I'm doing well. Thanks for asking. How are you? Good. Go ahead, put your number in. Talk with us, not at us. That's okay, I'll look it up for you. Go ahead, sweetheart. Okay. All right. Teach us what we need to know. That's how we get smarter. Well, good morning, Sophie, Janicea, and Jordan. And when you talk with us and teach us, give us bigger and bigger words. Now what I'd like you to do, children, is turn around and converse with your neighbor and discuss where the mother might have gone. Words that we can use to read and understand. She is praying for eagles, so she hunts at night. And that will take us places we can never reach without you. Remember, we're entering the learning zone. Now how can we show our respect to the children and teachers who are working? We can walk quietly. Yes. Okay, kids, so what I'd like you to do is continue writing your narrative, documenting your emotions, if you were the baby owl and your mother abandoned you in the nest. What can you do? Learn all that you can so that you can challenge us to be our best. You would have stayed and assisted them in whatever they needed. Share yourself with us and show us how to share ourselves with others. Give us courage. Give us compassion. Help us find our own voices so we can become who we are meant to be. Why would you want to silence us? We're gonna get back to our presentation here just real quick. All right, did it make you think how we react to kids when we sometimes are in a hurry or in a rush? We are having a bad day ourselves because we're human too. We always think about the kids and what do those words do to them? So our words, the words that of adults become children's inner voice. We teach them how to think and how to talk to themselves. And we wanna make sure that that is a positive thing. So some of that's just the tone. It's not always the exact words we say, but it's how we say it. Hurry up, you guys, get in the classroom versus hurry up, guys, get in the classroom. Come on, let's go. We've got so much to do today, right? That makes it sound like it's gonna be a great day and great fun. And if somebody has poor behaviors acting out in some way, getting really harsh with them and making them feel horrible is just gonna take us down that horrible road for our day. So we have to think about are the things we're saying to kids positive, loving and respectful? If you wouldn't talk to an adult that way, don't talk to a kid that way, right? Let's be respectful of them. Sonya, did you have anything to add there? Sorry, I went on. Nope, I just think it's incredibly powerful with the words that we use because again, especially those trauma kiddos when they come in, they may already be hovering in red and they already might be on their way up towards escalation and when they hear harshness, that's going to escalate or enhance the fear and then you're gonna get shut down where we then don't have compliance, we're unable to follow rules and then we're just gonna spend even more time trying to get those kids to engage or follow the directions or those types of things. And I think what you say is right about me or neurons, we talk about that a lot with our Marzano work and with educational research. If we're excited about school and happy about school or if we're compassionate to kids, they're gonna be compassionate, they're gonna match that. So we have to show that excitement, that joy, that be the one at the door that's saying, hello, I'm glad you're here today. Just for kids to hear that is so important. And then when there are times that we don't like behavior or whatever, we have to help them work through that in a positive way. There's another saying in education that is where there is no relationship, there is no significant learning. So if we kill that relationship by being really harsh with our kids and not understanding and not compassionate, then they're gonna stop learning from us. So we have to work hard for that. And every day that Paris, you do such an important job in our schools and today's the first day of the Chinese New Year. So happy New Year. It's been a hard month. January was hard everybody. So maybe we're ready for that new year, okay? So 2022 is the year of the water tiger, which means prosperity for all of us, yay. And signs of strength, exercising those evils and pushing them out and braveness. And we know in the past two years all those things have been so important for us. But I just wanna know, I want you to know how appreciated you are and the job you do is so essential in our schools. Hey Steph, I have to hop off. I have a client coming in, but if anybody has questions, please put them, reach out. Thanks so much, Sonia. Thanks for being with us. I'm gonna see the rest of you on April 5th. It was actually going to be a recorded Zoom next time in April. So the link will be on our website. I'll send out a reminder about that. And we're gonna talk about keeping kids engaged. And that was a topic that came from all of you from our surveys too. In the spring, it gets hard, doesn't it? So we're gonna work on keeping kids engaged. And I just wanna remind you that at our website bit.ly slash Paris of ESU 8, you can find today's recorded Zoom. You can also find our presentation. And Sonia said she's gonna send me a couple resources and I will link them there as well. So once again, I just wanna say thanks so much, guys. If you have any questions at all, feel free to email me. I've been getting para emails throughout the year and it makes me happy. I can help you problem solve or share some ideas. But thanks, everybody. Any questions before we go? Thank you. Okay, thanks, everybody. See you next time.