 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by Rose Franken brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a coke and now Claudia Fuck it's only it's only two in the place looks a shamble I would look then you can come in and sit down if you find room on one of those chairs What's the worse than going on here the place looks like a tornado swept through it no tornado just me you said you weren't gonna look I have to dangerous to sit in one of these chairs without looking clothes hang I'm fixing things neatly See instead of David's clothes and mine all mixed up in one closet I'm putting David's in one and mine in another David suggested no my own idea I'm nearly done. You sit here, and I'll I'll take these clothes away. Thank you. I Can't stay long. Oh here. Here. Take this hanger with you next time you go out to the closet. All right on the chair. Oh I'm nearly through mama Remember this paint dress Keep on talking. I can hear you if I can't see you. I have nothing to say. It's the dress I wore when I met David That's why I have it in this cellophane bag saving it. Uh-huh for our 50s anniversary Here's the blue I won our first date which ended up in a drugstore. How'd you know it told me a dozen times Oh, so I did remember this one. Hmm This one this one here. Oh, oh, yes It's the one with a torn hem. Mama. It is not it's the one I wore in the bus ride the night. He brought you the flowers It's still the one with a torn hem Is there anything on the couch? I forgot to look Two dresses and a wool shirt of David shall I bring them in? No, thank The dresses are going to cleaners, and I'm gonna press this full shirt What did I hear you say I said I'm gonna press David's wool shirt. What do you think I said that's what I thought you said Mama just because I burned a wool dress at home once I suppose you think I can't iron. Can you mama? Look, I'll show you no don't start ironing on my account. I'm leaving in a minute I was going to anyway. I'll bring the ironing board in from the kitchen Sure, and I'd like to have it ready for him when he comes home Do you mind your electric iron? It's a wedding present. It's like a radio with that dial I'll show you how it works now watch over here. Come on over here. What mm-hmm Maybe you better plug it in first. Or doesn't it need electricity need electricity? Kev, have you had under that table Claudia? Can't see the iron mom anything happening making noises I'll be right up. That means it's on frightening I'd be expecting it to explode at any moment see the nose is round that way you can't lose any buttons just your shirt there Now you see you dial according to the material you're pressing cotton silk rayon wool I'm gonna iron wool. So I set the dial to wolf now for David's favorite shirt I might get used to the ticking but that little dial would make me self-conscious. It's like an eye watching you You get used to that I think oh, but it's a wonderful iron. I'm so smoothly mama. Oh That's David phoning. How can you tell? He hasn't phoned all afternoon. It must be him. So I get it I'm going come on in the bedroom and listen. I'm not interested in your private affair. Let's say a lot of David. Come on I'm coming coming coming you realize of course that whoever's phoning can't hear you until you pick up the receiver I know but it makes me feel so much better Hello David good. I'll be ready Mama's here. I told her it was you David says hello mama. Tell him hello himself and see how he likes it mama says hello yourself and see how I like it David says he likes it He says come on in and talk to him. I'm on my way Let me have the receiver his mama David. Hello David. I've been just getting a lesson and home making for your wife No, not giving a lesson getting one Hold on. Oh, wait a moment David. Claudia. Do you smell something burning? Well, yes, I do. Give me the phone David. I've got to go something's on fire. I don't know what it is I was just gonna find out I've gotta go. Goodbye, darling David's shirt. I know it is You better take the iron off the sleeve, but it shouldn't burn when it says off that one should have told the iron Stuck it off. Maybe off isn't for phone calls You know there should be a position on there that radios for help better pull the plug out Careful of your head on that table too late. There should be another outlet besides the one under this table What happened the lights went out I Never realized how dark this apartment was until now never believed was afternoon outside First thing for you to do is to come up from under that table Sticks out further than I thought it did Claudia. Where's the fuse box use box? I don't know. I never noticed We don't have any fuses anyway. Why don't you call the superintendent up to fix it the house phone is here here along the wall Oh Now what happened? There was a little chair against the wall too. It's all right. I've got it No answer Maybe the whole house is dark. Want me to go downstairs after the superintendent? No. Oh, here's somebody now. Hello This is mrs. Norton and to see I think I blew out a fuse that's putting it mildly Well, could you send someone up to fix it? Oh, yes, the apartment's very dark Thank you. Thank you very much Superintendent be right up. That's fast service probably because I've been so friendly with Bertha. Have you met him yet? No, but Bertha says he's marvelous. Do you mind sitting in the dark? I'm getting used to it If I open the bedroom door the light will be coming from there Oh, I wonder who moves furniture in this apartment every time the lights go out If you had everything against the wall, there'd be nothing to trip over small chairs near phones. That's all Yeah, that helps a little doesn't it? Little enough It'd be nice if you could move to an apartment a little higher in the building One without the windows facing a blank wall. Oh being on the second floor has some advantages such as well Well, because it's right near the superintendent in case anything goes wrong come in the doors a lot mrs. Norton, yes I'm frets I've come to fix the fuse Bertha says I could come right up to take care of mrs. Norton. Do you know where the fuse box is fritz? Oh sure right here in this foyer You just don't worry. I fix. Do you need a chair? No, thank you. It's not high I can reach without it There This is much better with the lights on yeah, thank you fritz. I met bertha the other day Oh, oh, you are mrs. Norton's mother Bertha tells me about you I'm very happy to meet you. Not as happy as I when you fix the fuse Thanks again fritz. I've got to run claudia. Uh, mrs. Norton Please if everything is all right now, then I go. Oh fine. Thank you fritz Oh, our icebox won't defrost. Maybe you could fix that for us as long as you're here fritz Yeah, you had the button is in a funny place in this refrigerator I'll show you You come into the kitchen. You go find out about the button claudia. I have an idea This apartment give you a lot of trouble mrs. Norton. No, yes I cut my finger last night helping mr. Norton fix a leaky faucet. Oh, oh, that's too bad You should call me I fix it for you Here see I'll show you about the refrigerator You look in here, please there Up on the top It is hard to see yeah. Well, that's because it's down so low Oh, you you just pull him out and she defrosts herself You won't need to do it. Thank you fritz Don't mention it if everything is all right now Then I go now everything's fine Goodbye fritz tell bertha. Hello for me. Thank you. Thank you very much. I do that. Goodbye mrs. Norton. Goodbye fritz. Oh, goodbye Bye What do you intend to do with the shirt now keep hiding until david forgets about it? I suppose this situation hasn't come up before I can fix it for you if you like We'll make a very nice shirt with short sleeves does david like short sleeves better than bird sleeves, I guess Well, uh, want me to show you how to do it. You know, you're going to do it If you watch me the next time you can do it yourself. There won't be any next time I'll never trust an iron again I guess I knew what I was doing when I wouldn't let you do any ironing at my house Furious scissors needle and thread in the drawer right next to you Are in here, of course A good wife knows where everything is Now we snip this sleeve off here Mama I can't watch don't worry. I know what I'm doing david's beautiful shirt david's beautiful shirt So there Now all we have to do is hem it up and press it down We can send it to the cleaners. They'll press it down But it looks marvelous much better than the other way. I hope david thinks so It's so much cooler looking that way too. Men should always wear short sleeves, especially in summer There one's done. I don't see how you can cut them both the same length without measuring If I did it the left one would be two inches longer than the right one Claudia Claudia, you all right? What was burning? Oh nothing nothing What was burning over the phone? I had a vision of this place in flames. I took the cab home instead of walking. Hello, mother Hello, goodbye david. Wait a minute. Hold on mrs. Brown before you leave What are you two girls hiding? What do you both look so guilty about david? There are times when our mother-in-law shouldn't be around There are times when a woman wants to speak to our husband in private. This isn't one of those times Hey, what's going on here? Claudia will explain it all to you david. Goodbye children. Goodbye, mother I don't think I should let her out No, all right. What is it claudia? Oh, what's what? What is it that you've been holding behind your back with the mistaken belief that I can't see it? Oh that Would you do me a favor? You tell me what it is you're hiding. Oh Well, that's part of the favor. Oh That's part of the favor, huh? Now first darling. Just make yourself comfortable. I'll sit down right here in the middle of the floor Good i'm comfortable sure Uh what constitutes being comfortable? Well first take your jacket off take my jacket off Say you didn't buy me that blue smoking jacket. Did you know? I don't know what you're talking about smoking jacket. No there There now my jacket's off I suppose next you want me to take off my tie and shirt. That's right. How'd you know? All right, I don't know why but I'll do it. Oh, thank you daddy. All right I was Tied stuck here. Want me to help you? Here's the tie Oh, you're missing a button on the shirt. I'll fix it tonight Never say I haven't done anything for you now here. I am running around without my shirt here I'll give you the shirt off of my back. David. What more could I ask for nothing and and and and here's something for you, David What is it? This looks like my old wool shirt. It is Try it on see how it fits. I know how it fits I've been wearing it for oh five years. Just try try it on David for me And it's not a shirt to wear every day in the week on hot nights anyway Hey, wait a minute What happened here? Where what happened? To my sleeves They're gone They are oh, so they are doesn't look rather short your elbows are sticking out What gave you this idea? It's wonderful You're not mad at me, David. No, no, I like it without sleeves Put them around me. What? Put what around me your arms, darling Without sleeves All story material used on this broadcast of plaudia was under the supervision of rose franken and william brown meloni Shopping can be a tiring business. So here's something pleasant to keep in mind You'll find coke at the familiar red cooler at refreshments stands at lunchrooms at surface stations And at your favorite food store ice cold and ready for you to enjoy Every day monday through friday claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joking saying au revoir and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola For ice cold coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes