 One of the things I understand what Christy you said about this may not be wise to talk to your friends But something in me is saying that that is a fear that I'm not going to be clear therefore, I should not say anything until I'm clear and I feel that whether it's a car mechanic or you or my friend or a stranger that walks down the street Ideas are to be shared whether they seem to be clear or not You know, I've been learning from my friends also in in attempting To let go of the fear of how I communicate by just saying to them Look, I'm going through something and I'm not clear about it right now But I feel very strongly about where I'm about we have to get back to the original point Which was you want still be able to really share the idea exactly and what I'm saying is if I hold back from those people I may be holding back from lessons that I need to learn about where I am. This is bringing me to some clarity And if I only come here to share I'm not gonna be I can't get as clear because I do have that life out there You know, I'm not gonna just be this is not my only life You're convinced even that you're breaking apart this from that life But I want to say is that that the whole idea is that Jesus is the one that performs miracles through us and That he at one point in the text he says that that that the partly sane are apt to look very foolish at times Of course the partly sane are not always in their right mind They're they will seem to vacillate between the right mind and wrong mind and they're gonna look like Fool in the world's eyes because they're teaching inconsistently It's like teaching one thing and then turning around teaching another now what I see when he says Let me be the one to tell you which miracles to perform is the sense that he knows Where they can be received that that's how the chain of atonement gets welded together He says is is by his miracle workers. We First of all, we have to be even just for a moment in our right mind because miracles cannot be performed in a spirit of Doubt or fear so that's that's the main condition for miracles Which is it's a big condition right off the bat to just even for a moment to be in your right mind And then the second thing is that he knows where that they are to be bestowed that he says I am the only one who can perform miracles indiscriminately because I am the atonement that for those that are teachers of God in training so to speak or aspiring to be miracle workers that it's going to look foolish at times if you still think as a person That you can spread the mustard over Jesus. I'm gonna spread it over here. I got a friend campy I got one Susan. I got Steve. I got Marcia. I'm just gonna spread their mustard around and make sure that everybody gets a piece of it and He you know at times there are times when clearly it's not There's not a receptiveness like Chris was kind of getting out. I think from from people a lot of times It was it can be an attack but once again an attack would be I must be in my wrong minor I must be trying to run the show as My little self instead of asking Jesus Is this a situation where I can be helped for it? Would you have me say something or do something here? It really is a surrender to that and to me that gets it away from all those ego things about well I should be able to apply it as much and say as much in this group in this situation as This one this one this one this one because then it gets into a form thing I should if I can share my feelings in this group, then why can't I? Share my thoughts and feelings, you know here here here here it still gets back into that time to spread it around And do the same thing everywhere And maybe there's a bit of a sense in there, too of Just a concept of myself that says, you know, I speak my mind wherever I am whoever I'm with And if that's the way I've constructed my false identity Then then then I yeah that I'm gonna you know think that I'm gonna have to continue to do that And it's gonna be hard to lay that one aside and just you know as David said recognize that Jesus knows the readiness and Jesus performs the miracle and you know That's gonna have to be put aside in order for or something greater to shine through And the part to you the miracle cannot seem natural because what you've done to hurt your mind Has made it so unnatural that it doesn't remember what it's natural to What is natural to it and when you are told what is natural you can't understand it The recognition of the part as whole and of the whole in every part is perfectly natural for it is the way God thinks and what is natural to him is natural to you Holy natural perception would show you instantly that order of difficulty in miracles is quite impossible for it involves a contradiction of What miracles mean and if you could understand their meaning their attributes could hardly cause you perplexity You've done miracles, but it's quite apparent that you've not done them alone You've succeeded whenever you've reached another mind and joined with it When two minds join as one and share one idea equally the first link in the awareness of the sonship as one has been made There's a part in here that had talked about I guess this isn't the part about Confusing the miracle Impossible to convince you the reality of what has clearly been accomplished through your willingness while you believe that you must understand it or else It's not real But I sense to and when you're talking about Whether it's your family or your friends and I really had to I struggle with this immensely because I felt like well If I should I could be a piece I should be able to be a piece anywhere I should be able to have The same friends that I've always had and on and on and on they should be able to work that way and What underneath I really had to get in touch with where my where the problem was was I had laws of friendship Part of that were part of my specialness. You know, I believed I Knew what friends were I would talk at Wayneville a bit about all the different variations of friendship and family and everything it was like a There's a hierarchy in there and It's clear that however you want to look at it, whether it's just loving everyone equally That is a very radical different idea than the way this hierarchy is constructed Like you were mentioning when you even brought it up to your friends like well I dear memories of these people and I and there are my husband and my friends Can't see them And why would I even want to see them? Because the same as everyone else. I mean this whole world is built on those hierarchies and You know the mind the ego is Protests when when you even would begin to question or start to even loosen up on Hierarchies a little bit Just to even begin to question because that's its whole Thing of specialness is based on that it's based on the fact that the ego says you've been able to have these special Relationships and you have got some Joy and happiness and comfort from them. You know, it's it's it's its own version It says it certainly hasn't been all the time, but there have been no moment Created those special relationships. Now. Why do I want to uncreate those special relationships? And it's that thing of create versus make because I know a lot of times when you're talking like I'm creating this guilt in Sever and myself. I'm creating guilt when I'm feeling like I'm not being financially responsible The thing that I've noticed and we brought this up over and over and over in groups in the intensive Was this thing about create and make that's that's where you start getting into away from The right mind is reminder that that creation is the mind's function And the creation is not of this world that it's the father created the son the son has creations. It's all spirit when I think that I have created Anything of havoc any problems pain misery that in the sense of saying I believe in sin Because there's a sense that the create is a very important thing and and there's a permanence to it and therefore There seems to be these these things in my life my conflicts and so on so forth don't seem to be errors or mistakes They seem to have much more weight To them like they're there. They're in concrete and everything and to me It's that's a that's a differentiation. I've had to get much more clear about I Made this I made this up What did I make up any situation that I could think of or the cosmos in general? it helps me to also remember to look closely at the attempts of Made made past tense because if it's make Or am making I'm taking my I am my pure I am and I'm putting Making I am creating this pain. I am creating this guilt. I'm you know Then there it's linking that I am it's linking that That true creative ability that I have with something in the world of form and the secret of salvation is real simple I Have done this thing and if it does is this that I would undo that the first part is essential because If if I'm still projecting out the blame on all these other people If I'm feeling helpless powerless Vectimized by something that has been done to me completely apart from my mind completely apart from my will I had no hand in this at all. I didn't have to be dealt this hand or whatever Then the mind's like closed. There is no way that I can even begin to accept salvation But the first step is I of the secret is I have done this thing and then I can't stop there because Oh That is guilty right and so it is this that I would undo in other words If I can see that I have done it and it's past tense Then there's an opening for for the present moment to move into the present To see from the present moment to where my innocence is there is no way That I can identify with what has been done in the past and not feel guilty Because the past is the time of guilt that is the unholy instant When guilt and fear and terror rang but but it keeps coming back to I in the present I am innocent and so as we keep going into things more and more we'd have to start to come to see that that as long as I keep ordering the Illusions as long as I keep making hierarchies as long as I keep judging It is impossible for me to to perceive myself in the present or to perceive myself in the miracle That's the central thing we have to start to come to to come to from all the different angles we come to I have to be able to see that as long as I'm judging as long as I'm making hierarchies and Arranging special myths out here Attached to certain things and different to some hating some however. I construct that that I cannot be in The present or I cannot be in the miracle of just seeing the past is the past If I judge I'm in the wrong mind and it's like I'm in it I'm I'm in the middle of the unholy instant I feel like I'm in the middle of a world of chaos and I am slandering and There's judgment going on in my mind that that I cannot pursue cannot help but perceive myself as in the mess as long as I'm judging So everything we do is coming to see the miracle is a place of Seeing the false is false seeing the past is past I'm seeing that images Any way that they're shaped and formed any constellation I come up with Any way I build my sandcastle any outcomes that I think will Give me peace and happiness that they won't that there will be no happiness In the wrong mind, but only from above the battlefield Where I will I have peace something that's coming up what Bev said about not In other words sort of taking over in the moment and not allowing the miracle to come through me not listening You know, that's another thing that sort of I've been struggling with there's two things going on within me I either have intense weakness and feeling a victim is that I'm a victim or Intense power and feeling like I've got the authority You know There's something going on here And so every now what you're saying what I what there's something in there that's saying that there's something I don't know if it's in the middle or what You can't you don't have all the authority But the strength that is within you comes from the Christ that you really need to listen to So you don't have weakness either, but what Bev was saying is is You know