 Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of I Have Notes, a show where we talk all things creative, animation. And let me check my notes here. Do you allow happiness? Find out more in a little bit. My name is Carrie Shockross. And with me, I have, as always, an amazing co-host. Hi. I'm E.C. Adiola. I always have to laugh at the last funny thing. It's just in my character. And with us today, we have a wonderful Erin Wynne. Erin. Howdy, howdy. Erin. And then another member of our J team, Joshua Ornelis. Oh. What? Joshua Ornelis. Nice to meet you. So philosophical. Oh, I just. And then we're going to start over. We can't roll it back. Sorry, was that too prepared? Was that too prepared? No, that was very amazing. I was just trying to hold on. I'm just like, a two doom guy. Like what? I just need I need something fancy. My first thought was, oh, Josh, once again. Oh, that's actually very good. Hey, really nerdy question, though. Is that like, was that from one of the collectors editions or would you get that? That is from the Doom Eternal Collectors Edition. Oh. Super nice. Fancy. Lights up. Can you? It lights up? You can? Whoa. He's going to do it. Both. He is the doom guy. OK. I am for audio listeners. Oh, he's turning. Oh, he's turned on the helmet. Nice. That's kind of the best thing ever. That was I was I was not expecting as quick as payoff if I got that was amazing. Performance art. Congrats. Sorry to audio listeners. It was really cool. I mean, I mean, it wasn't that bad. It wasn't that cool. Please also keep keep listening. Hey, everybody, how's it going? How's the how's your week been? We had kind of like a super duper cool thing happen this Monday. Oh, you're talking about if we want to talk about me. Yes. Oh, no, I washed my car finally. Not just kidding. I'm just kidding. I didn't even fucking do that. No, talk about our credit by Arzall. Yeah, the first members are yells internally. Yeah. How do they how? How do they say it in Japan? You have please scream from your heart. Oh, yeah. Wait, what? Oh, you'll see that. So there's this like roller coaster in a theme park in Japan and they're like, please don't yell on roller coasters because it might spread covid. Oh, OK. So please scream from please scream in your heart and it's like, oh, that's that's a that's a mood for 2020. Yeah, it's like it summarizes everything. It's like, OK. Put those signs up in Disney World because. Finally, those aren't happening there. Oh, geez. Oh, geez. I feel like I do that on a daily basis, just scream from my heart like I have to talk to people and just like have a straight face. So I'm just sitting here like, yes, sir, I do agree. And meanwhile, I'm just like. Ah. I have definitely. It doesn't happen often and I, you know, I will I will talk about who it is. It let's just say it was an external thing. But I've definitely at least been on one call where like I just like I was like, oh, hang on one second. Sorry. And like turned off my video and audio and just like held my head. Let's just you can't do that in normal meetings. You can't just be like, you can't. What? So now I can just be like, oh, oh, my thing. Oh, sorry, hang on. My cat came in. Let me just. Ah, it's kind of it's like one of the few upsides. Yes, you are 100 percent correct. Yeah, I said, I'm super, I'm super excited. How how have you enjoyed the response? Do I? Well, Carrie, fun, fun, fun segue, not really, but fun hit into the do you allow happiness question? OK. There's no, it's I think the small moments that I'm kind of like, I just need a mental break for some reason. That's what I go into the comments that I read. Yeah. But also there's a lot of engagement, which is really positive. And I really I'm really happy. It's am I wait? Question mark. Exactly. I'm I'm so conflicted, guys. Being a creator is very it's it's an interesting road to put to say the least, but also I am more than ever more. The thing that is all God words, it's it's been a day, guys. I can hit the button if you need. Thank you. The thing that is more than my happiness in regards to the show reception is actually just more of an appreciation and a gratefulness for people who and the amount of people who came out to like show support for the show because they were interested from when they first heard about it. And so that was really that was really nice. Thank you guys for watching. If you watch, I have notes and you've watched recorded by ourselves. Thank you. Thank you. Double thank you. Double thank you. Thank you. We appreciate it. Yeah, much appreciate it. I mean, everything I've seen so far has been like super overwhelming overwhelmingly positive. I mean, like people seem to really dig it. So I'm I'm super happy for you. We've only seen some cute fan art. Oh, yeah. Do we do we have that? There it is. Oh, this is our good boy, Avery. Oh, family friend of the show. Family friend, yeah. Family friend. Oh, man. Can you just imagine her to the music? Yeah, I can't actually just. Can you imagine a Titanic? Just bringing three. Is it is it too late to add in her playing the recorder in episode four? The way I'm looking at it, we have two and a half weeks. We you're right, you're not you're not wrong. You're doing a bonus in credit scene. Yeah. Yeah, let's just be clear. It won't be good. No one has ever played the recorder well. Well, yeah. Does anyone even own a recorder over the age of twenty one? I think my understanding over the age of like ten. I my understanding is that if you play the recorder outside of middle school, it is illegal. That is the way that I am aware of things. Josh, do you have a recorder? I had one in my cart just now as a joke to order it. After Kerry said that, I'm going to remove it. Yeah, yeah, there's just like there's just like an Amazon employee like the second you buy, just like we got him. All right. All right. We'll meet you there. I don't know. I just like it always is like that was the like when I was in middle school, you had to pick between like band orchestra or choir. And then I think part of choir was like playing the recorder or something. It was just like that was it. Like it was just like maybe I have a gap in my, you know, I don't know if we have any professional recorder players that listen. If we do after this, I'm sorry. I just I always I always assumed it was like a starter instrument. Oh, yeah, definitely. Like I think my school, it was like elementary school. And then like once you got to middle school, you could do like band or strings or orchestra of me called a string. I was playing violin and elementary school. Hell, yeah, me too, man. Yeah, two violin, bro. You had to. You had to bring it. You had to bring it to class and then all of the other kids want to put their fucking like grubby little hands on it. Yep. And you led them. Of course I did. The horse hair is off the bow and shit. Yeah, that sounds dope. I want to play violin. Hey, I mean, I still have mine. Oh, shit. Oh, is it child sized? I was a big boy eventually. My first violin was was it was a child. Child Lynn, a child. But then when I went to the middle school, I got an adult violin. An adult and an adult and it's actually it was the same kind of thing, but it had like like crude, crude art on it. Like that kind of adult. Yeah, it was like it was. Yeah, it was a it was a small violin, but it had like mudflaps with like a like a sexy woman pose. That's my adult violin. The mudflaps were to keep all the sick. Beat, no, not beats, six strings in. I'm done now. Thank you. I'm done. We can be done now. But yeah, maybe we can talk more about like the creative aspect later. But overall, I'm really glad about required by Arizona and and I hope people keep watching it and keep talking about how much they love it. Because it really like something like I don't know if we get to talk about a lot is that like it does matter a lot. One, it makes us feel like really nice to like, hey, we showed you our soul. So thank you for saying that you liked it. But also like it really does like help us, you know, get more seasons of shows or more support or, you know, that kind of stuff to hear people talking about stuff. So like it I know like we ask a lot to like for people to like like stuff and comment on stuff and all that. But like it really does mean something. So it's it is appreciated. Kerry is right. Um, pretty much talking about shit. That's not ours, though. Japan's sinking. Japan sinks 2020, baby. I don't want to get any worse. You're worse. I've I've heard some people talk about this and I have no idea what it is. Josh, have you heard about this? No, literally. It just came out on American Netflix like this past weekend or so. OK, so I I watched it and all of it. Yeah, it's only 10 episodes. OK, OK. Yeah. It is by the director who did Double Man Cry Baby, must have ping pong, the animation and a few. You are so right. I'm dumb and I didn't write it down before. But yeah, like I hadn't heard about it until Alex Lee, who was one of the voice actors in it, posted about it on his Twitter. And I really enjoyed his. Talents of his voice acting work. So I was like, hey, I watch I'll watch this. I like I like Devilman. That was a cool anime. And Poco had started watching it also. And he's like, oh, yeah, it's really good so far, but it's definitely heavy. Yeah, Dustin said the same thing. Watch it in bite sized chunks. And I did not do that. I couldn't stop watching it. It's definitely heavy, but it's very good. And can you can you give us like a non-spoilery like synopsis of it? I mean, if you kind of judge by the title. Yeah, I kind of. OK. Japan sinks and it's about the story of this family that's like trying to escape this natural disaster. But it also gets into like, I don't I don't like say it like kind of like the racial tensions in Japan are like prejudices and like xenophobia. It surprisingly gets like weirdly deep. So I think it's like on top of the pandemic, it's somehow weirdly appropriate, even though it is kind of like it's very much a downer, especially in times like this. But I think it's very relevant. And I feel like everybody should watch it despite it being so heavy and it is a bit graphic and intense. But yeah, I think it's one of those anime like everybody has to watch at least once. Do they by graphic do you mean like mudflaps with ladies? OK, it's not Devilman as in there's like weird titi monsters in like graphic sex scenes. There's only one sex scene. So it's not weird in that sense or graphic, but it's definitely like, oh, you see people getting crushed or like dismembered and shit. Obviously, like in their anime style. So it's not sure that visceral, but it's still pretty intense. And you just see like a ton of like human suffering, I guess. So I mean, be warned when you go into it. I've seen the first episode of Attack on Titan. So I think I'm OK. I saw the first episode and I was like, oh, man, that was fucked up. And then like by episode two or three. Oh, man, I didn't think they could top it. But pretty much in every episode they do. Yeah. Oh, no. It's awful. Yeah. Oh, I will say, I do. One aspect I liked of it kind of related to the race thing is that the family is like a mixed family. So like the father is Japanese and the mother's Filipino. Oh, wild. Yeah. So it definitely like until their kids are mixed race. So it definitely like explores themes with that and like living in year 2020, being like mixed race, etc. That's cool. That's quite enjoyable. I haven't seen that topic like really touched on in any way a lot, or at least the mainstream stuff I watch usually. Yeah, it's pretty. Yeah, like, I don't know. I want to recommend it to you, Eesa, because I feel like you might like it more than brand new animal. I probably I was going to my first thought. I feel like it handles it in a bit more mature way, but it doesn't kind of like tiptoe around it or use like weird allegories, I guess, like it's like straight to the point. So because my first thought is like, oh, this is the way you're talking about. It definitely makes it sound like it's not racism, like like B&A. Yeah, that's right. Or is is a yeah in that in that vein, especially once you mentioned is like, oh, they're Filipino. It's just like one, of course. It's like, oh, it's it's like it feels like it's genetically ingrained in me whenever I hear someone's the same race as me. I kind of just like the exclamation point animal crossing kind of reaction. See, it's funny because like as as a white British dude, like any time people talk about white people, my reaction is to be more like. Don't pretend to not see it. I don't I don't want to be. I'm sorry, I do not see it. Yeah, like, I don't. Oh, what do we do this time? Shit. Yeah. Why do we keep fucking doing this? It's interesting because it is from a Japanese perspective. So it's like stuff we probably want to even think of, but it's still like very relatable in a sense. So yeah, actually, the moment you mentioned, yeah, like the other thing on top of the you mentioning that they were Filipino is actually like, oh, if they're hitting on other, there are certain Japanese anime and media that I I can like kind of see if they're they're a bit more, I guess, woke than other nations. Sure. In terms of like how open is their casting, quote unquote, or what what what do their character designs look like or etc. And the fact that this show is very openly aware that there is actually a sizable Filipino population in Japan. Not to mention is like there is actually a sizable Korean population in Japan. Funny enough, also Vietnamese, I think as well. There's there is a lot of different non-Japanese people in Japan, but it's kind of like America where or well, how do I put it? When you think of Japan and Japanese people, you don't think of those people. You think of an Asian East Asian person similar to how when you think of an American, I think most of the time people think white. Yeah. So I the fact that they're acknowledging it's not that they're acknowledging that that person exists in Japan. And maybe they've even had like interactions with other people that are not Japanese in Japan is already kind of like, hey, that sounds neat. Yeah. And it's and they're not like half animal. Yeah. Highly, highly recommend. Cool. That's cool. Josh, what's what was how's your weekend? What are you up to? Mostly my weekend has been like mostly unconscious. That's that's a good state to be in. So mostly like I have I've been working or I have been like like I got like this health kit going on where I've just been like to hell, like a really nice bike a few years ago. And I should probably like start riding it way more. And I've been doing like hour long bike rides, which are pretty much almost all uphill. And I just tearing apart my legs. And I'm like, OK, cool. And then I get back a shower and I eat and I immediately don't remember what happens because I'm just like, what if I just lay down? And I'm like the next like five hours I wake up out of like a like just a exhausted stupor. And I'm like, OK, I guess I got to start working again. And then the cycle just repeats over and over again. That's the fucking dream. Yeah, that's the best kind of sleep when you're so tired. You just fall asleep immediately. It's great, but also awful because I wake up and I try to stand up and I'm like, my legs do not operate correctly. So they put like ice packs and like like tiger balm on my legs. And I'm just like, oh, no, this is the worst. But it's it's great, though, because I feel better like health wise because I realized that like the work from home thing was kind of sort of like I'm sitting here working and then I'm like, I can just order food. And I just like all the worst shit in the world. So that's what I've been doing as far as content and stuff like that. I've been taking in, I guess, like the new anime season like rolled in. So I've been watching a lot of all that stuff. And then one of the things that I've been finding a guilty pleasure in is I've been watching a lot of VTubers like a lot like like Hololive is one of my favorite things in the world right now. It is. Hey, Josh, I don't I don't really don't want to correct people on the show. You did. You said I think you said V when you meant to say you you. You said VTuber. Yes, but it's it's a YouTuber. It's a different look. It's like it's like a soft. It's like a hard V versus like a soft you. Um, oh, like Colt, right? What is it? What's a VTuber? So a VTuber is somebody who goes on and has like a webcam, like, you know, what we're all doing right now, but instead of a webcam, they have like an avatar or a character that is either 3D or 2D and they just present content as they're playing games or this and that. And it's usually like a lot of Japanese or like a lot of Asian people doing it. There's some people in Indonesia, some people in China doing as well. Oh, yeah. Isn't that one the is that like the AI one? Oh, because in AI, yeah, that's one of the more popular ones. But there's been people who've been trying to do like idol groups and stuff like that. So they'll they'll make like like a really super awesome anime idol and then have that as a new VTuber. And they'll be they'll be part of like a like an idol group. But there is one group I mentioned in Hololive where this man named Yagu I don't think I don't think this is real name. I think it's like a pseudonym or something like that. He put together a group in the intent of making them like another idol group. But it's more just like a dumpster fire like circus act. And it's the best thing I've ever seen. And I don't mean dumpster fire and a bad thing. I mean, like it's the most hilarious stuff I've been watching. And like half of the time, like I'll put on the live stream like because they'll usually be streaming like in the morning here and then I'll just be doing work and I can't understand what they're doing. But like I could see them having fun and I'm just like, I like this. This is super nice. And then during the night, like after like I'm done riding my bike or when I'm eating food, I see like the translated version of it. And I'm like dying of laughter because, oh, my God, it is. Oh, I I'll send you guys a video of this later. But the video that I have in mind is Hololive in five minutes. And it pretty much explains everything that you need to know about what all of this is. And if you like it, deep dive into it. If you don't understand. I completely understand because, holy shit, it is a lot to take in. So yeah, that's you said later you watch the translated version. So like, yes, this this some do they go back through or just like, is it a community to do that? Or is it like is YouTube getting better at auto translating? It's usually just like a lot of fans and stuff like that who take like choice clips and like have like highlights of like their streams and then we'll translate. And it's all great because. Usually they'll take like the best parts of like a Minecraft stream or like some like a really, really very cute anime girl who is like a dog girl, like a dog girl. Corona. Yes. And then she's playing Doom. And it's like the best thing ever. She's like, Shane. So yes, I love that. So that's that's been my guilty pleasure. That's what I've been doing that because I literally downloaded Viroid this weekend, Viroid Studio, which is like what a lot of them use to make their avatars or whatever. And I was just curious to see like what it was capable of. Yeah, it's a pretty nifty program. Like I wish it could do more. But if you're like wanting to get into like the tubing or like you're like your avatar for whatever, like it's a fun little program. OK, you heard it here first. If we make it, if this show lasts a year, a one year anniversary episode will be will be like our anime idol episode. Like I looked up how to like do it so that your webcam picks up your emotions. It's not that hard. It's kind of crazy. Oh, my God, I'm really, I'm really into the idea as well. I'm just saying, yeah, like if y'all can just keep us afloat for four like 40 something more weeks. Oh, my God. Now, I'll do it all. I'll do it. We have so many different personas. We've got the furries. We've got the anime VTubers. I'm ready. I'm so ready. I just listed everybody that matters. That's how we solve world peace. Sorry. I didn't mean to. You're working with my dumb thing. There's another program that I think they used to is live 2D. Oh, yeah, that's like a 2D-oriented one. Yeah, for sure. I think that is the one that I think a lot of that that community is uses. I only know this because I had a friend who recently commissioned me to do something because his his group, they were trying to test something and they're like, hey, can you just draw this for me? It's so much easier if someone else like takes apart the assets. And I'm like, oh, yeah, I do this for work. This is easy. So I ended up learning kind of like how not how it worked, but just like being familiar with the program. And I was just like, this is wild. Well, doesn't Adobe's like character animator have something like that? Yes. Yeah, they're trying that. It's literally called character animator, too. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, you said if you just want to go into the X-ray and Vav files and find like the dragon face asset, just like slide it my way. Maybe I can try something out. I'll talk to Baggy. I actually really like this idea. But I mean, Josh, that's like a good thing, though. And like, I think something that could be kind of interesting to talk about is like, what is everybody's like, go to like background thing to put on or watch or listen to? Because like, I remember like when I was compositing like more like at all, but like full time, like I could kind of watch anything. Like it was a lot easier to watch and listen to content. But like, you know, now for me, it's you know, if it has dialogue in it or lyrics, like it's a little too distracting. So I've been going for like all the lo-fi. I found a, I discovered a upbeat lo-fi recently. I saw. Which is maybe very happy. It's just, it's just lo-fi. It's just like not high-fi. Yeah. It's just like not, it doesn't always sound depressing. Yeah. But yeah, like what does everybody's go to? Like just, and like, it's like the point you call that, Josh is like, oh, well, you can't even understand what they're saying. So you don't focus on it as much. Like that is super helpful. Like do y'all have other like go to like, let me just throw this on in the background. Erin, I know Erin has a lot. If only because we, she shares. Oh God. Her passions with me. Yeah. I'll just watch whatever the fuck I can find in the background. Like sometimes YouTube just starts recommending me stuff and I'll just go down a rabbit hole. My go to, at least in the past, not so much recently, has been like full gameplays of like old horror video games, especially ones I haven't played. So I've seen like people play like Siren or like the old Silent Hill games, stuff like that. Corey in the house. Oh God, don't say his name. It's actually, I mean, even the title sounds kind of scary. This summer, Corey in the house. He's in the house. But the question is, do you want him there? But yeah, otherwise, I don't know, like lately I've been watching like people put together garage kits of like anime figures. Oh yeah. I watch like Sculptor's, God, Painter's, like literally anything. It doesn't like, even if they're talking or not, like we'll watch it. I think I think I'm about to buy like a third monitor at home just to so I can have like my constant background thing going because I do that all the time. And I miss like even if it's muted, just having like anime running in the background. Like I haven't been able to do that in a while. God, that reminds me of like going down the rabbit hole because sometimes like before this whole Vzuber thing, I would find random videos that like nobody ever in their right mind would watch. But it's like one of those things where YouTube has a weird algorithm where they'll go like, you want to watch this? And I go like, I do want to watch this. And the next thing you know, I'm watching four hours of carpet cleaning videos for no reason. I was so satisfied. Yeah. It's so satisfying. So satisfying. I don't understand it. I had that happen recently where like I, I don't remember why it came up, but like I watched a video that was like somebody, oh no, I was like, I was like, there's a part, I had a, not going to go into my mental stuff right now, but like I was like, last week I had this thought of like, what if I just like got like lived in a van? Oh yeah. And like that was what I did now. I watch a van life videos too. Yeah. So like I watched like one video that was like, how much does it cost to live in a van? And then like, now my like page is just like, $3,500 van billed. And I'm just like, don't do it, Carrie. Don't fucking do it. I watch a lot of like tiny house tours too. Yeah. Oh yeah. Erin and I, or Erin and I, we, I shared the tiny house some constructions with Erin a lot. Yep. It's just, it would be nice. I don't know. It would be nice. It might be nice. I'm trying to think, it sucks cause I think I used to watch more stuff in the background. And now I kind of am like, oh no, I tend to put a lot of my full focus into a lot of the work that I'm doing lately, if only cause I think it needs some of my, most of my attention, but I definitely go down the YouTube essay rabbit hole. And I love me, I love me some YouTube essayists. Long format. Long format. Oh yeah. The kinds that are like 40 to 30 to 40 minutes are like, oh, chef's kiss, like wonderful. And I could leave this on for days. Yeah. I did find a couple recently, Melina Pendulum and Yara Zade and Lady Night and the Brave. Those are my favorite new YouTube essayists. I say new, but they've probably been around for a while. Those also all sound like amazing like band names. They do. What was the last one? Lady Night and the Brave. That is a band name. Come on. Yeah. Just make it the Braves. The Braves. I think that is, no, there's a band called Bravery. Oh, that sounds like a band name. There you go. Yeah. Not far off. But yeah, I really like that. I just make an event out of whenever they have a new video. I'm just like, oh, and then I just sit and watch rather than work. Yeah. No, I definitely have that too. We're like, I've noticed like lately, it's a lot more like, I'm at my computer all day, but I'm in a lot of meetings. And then it's like, okay, I have one hour to do this thing. Well, it's going to take like my full concentration for an hour, so I can't really like pay attention to anything else, but I want to... But click submit. I think I'm just going to force myself to, I don't know, I'd be good. Josh, everything you were describing earlier about like just kind of like honing in, like I think I need to do that. Like I, you know, nothing's ever like, this year has just been a fucking dumpster fire. And I just, I kind of want to just like check out for a little bit and just work and play video games. And I want to ride my bike and not get distracted by Twitter. That's a great, that's a great feeling. It's pretty great. I mean, you do like avoid absorbing some of the world around you. Like, what was it? Like the Ubisoft thing happened. Like all the gaming stuff happened like last week or something like that. I completely missed all of it. Like sometimes you might miss some of that, but you also missed the bad shit too, which is like some right now, especially with the world in 2020, it's like everything's on fucking fire. And like you can be overstimulist, like or stimulized, whatever the word is. Whatever you want to be, man. Yeah, you can be overstimulated. There you go. Very, very, very easily. And I think sometimes just literally just like turning everything off and then taking time for yourself to do something that you want to do helps out so much. It helps clear your mind. It helps reground you to Earth and makes you go, okay, I can approach the next day or week or whatever or even like the next hour, like whatever it takes, it's just like that stuff helps out so much. So allow yourself happiness. Oh, I love that. He said it. I love that energy. He said it. He said it. He said it. So yeah, I actually don't even, I think it was Easter. I don't even remember. It was me. Okay, yeah. It's just do you allow happiness is their topic sheet. What does this mean? Do you allow happiness? There's, so there's a fun conversation between Josh Flanagan and me. He's been asking for updates every time, every so often on recorded by RSL cause he is also just as big of a cheerleader for it. Shout out to our other favorite J Jordan Swears. I called him out in the, I called him out in the Rooster Teeth blog for being a big supporter of it ever since I told him about the idea. In a similar vein, Josh Flanagan is always asking like, hey, so are there any updates? Like what? A lot of good J's. A lot of good J's. Some of our favorite J's, I would say. Yeah. Josh, Josh, Jordan, Jesus. Josh, Jordan, Jesus. That's a good one. Can't forget about JC. JC, oh, oh. And there, it was like the day or two before premiere and he's like, so are you excited about your premiere? And I go, I don't know. I think I'm more on the trepidation side. I don't allow myself to feel happiness, Josh. It was like a joke. And he went with the bit since that is his personality. He'll just kind of like go into the bit until there's nothing left. And he'll just be like, that's his life you signed up for, Issa, you understand being a true artist. And we're kind of just like sending each other these like Lord of the Rings gifts, I think. But after that, it was kind of a thing that I ended up kind of just like taking or saying a lot after because I think the thing that I think about is how as I think most of us are familiar with anxiety and the idea of kind of like staring at the future, especially with how uncertain it is, it's always kind of this question of like, or this feeling of, I feel like there's more work to be done. There's, what is the celebration? But then there's the other side of it where it's just like a lot of people are saying, if you just allow yourself like the one thing and then you can sell, and then you can continue worrying later. And it's just like, okay, and I don't know if I have allowed myself that yet. It's like, oh, it's a big success, but did I do anything about it? I told my Esau today or was it yesterday or today? I was just like, I'm gonna allow myself to drink one soda today. Whoa, party time. That's my happiness, that'll be my celebration. And fun fact, I didn't get the soda because it was $2 and I didn't want it to be $2. Whoa. So that's my headspace. I don't know, in that vein of like, do you guys feel the same way when it comes to like certain things happening? Do you feel like you kind of just downplay a lot of your successes? I mean, I don't know if I- I've never really thought about it. I don't wanna get too real, yeah. I don't know if I've like allowed myself to be happy ever. Whoa. I mean, like every once in a while, I feel like probably the moment I feel the most happiness like that would probably be like after like a panel or something, like RTX, when it's like, I think honestly the one time that I can think that I really let myself be like for a moment like, okay, this went okay and like felt good about it, like from a personal level, not like from a quality level was when we showed off the Ruby volume four trailer at RTX where we like had the characters in Maya for the first time and did like more associated lighting, that kind of stuff. And like I, I felt like that was like the, that was one of the first things that like, after money, like it was like one of the first things like decisions that I made for the show. And I was just like, I don't even think I realized how nervous I was until when people started clapping after the trailer, I just started crying because I was just like, oh my God, like I'm so like relieved. And I just like, that was only a few times I was like, okay, I didn't fuck this up. I didn't fuck this up. But yeah, I don't know if I ever like, let me just be like, hey, things are actually going okay. I need to do that for like, huh? Yeah. That'd probably be a good idea. Yeah. It's hard because it's like, there's always like, cool, that thing's done. Okay, but here's this next thing. Yeah. It's hard to be like, someone's outside. It's hard to be like, oh yeah, I did a thing. That's cool. Yeah, definitely. I don't know if it's just like, oh, sorry. No, no, no, you're good, you're good. I was gonna say, I don't know if it like, if it just so happens that most creatives like end up feeling this way or like a lot of them anyways, like not to feel too proud of your own work or like just overanalyzing all the mistakes that probably aren't even there. I don't know if it's just like, I feel like it's a very common thing, but I don't know if that's just me like imagining that. It seems pretty common. Yeah. But yeah, it's like, I don't know which came first. Like, are we drawn to this field because we are like this or are we like this because we're in this field? Oh man, that's a question. I always wonder like how true is the, not the starving artist, what's the word? The tragic artist? Yeah, the tragic artist, yeah. I feel like that's kind of it. Like how true that is, like, I don't know. It's probably a discussion for another week, but there's always like this idea that artists are like, all artists are always suffering and if you're not suffering, you can't make good art. It's like, how true is that? Or is that just some like bullshit we're telling ourselves? So we have a reason to keep creating? I don't know. I don't know. I think, I think it's bullshit. Yeah. I want to like, I don't want to say like, it's not that like I'm not happy. I want to clarify too. Like it's not that like I'm not happy. It's just like, I don't, I don't stop and like think of accomplishments very often, but like I definitely, I think the stuff that I do think that like I've done that is the stuff that I've like the most that I've ever done is stuff that I made in like a happier place. Yeah. That's true. That's fair. But maybe that's because I was happier the whole time. You make me happy, Carrie. Oh, thank you. You all make me happy. Oh, yay. I definitely, I don't know how much I've ever felt this too, but like I find myself like going out of my way, like I get more happiness and joy from seeing like the team. Like, you know, when there's always a moment, like, you know, when animation finished, like wraps for the season or like when the disc finally ships or, you know, that fight scene that, you know, everybody worked on really hard and was like a crazy asset headache, but it worked out and like was really cool. Like I feel happier for other people than I do myself usually. Or like when I have a very close friend who launched a show last Monday, you know, like that breaks me happiness. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I feel that. I think there's a, I feel that because I think there's this interesting, I want to say dichotomy of like, I feel we are all introverts, but for some reason we are in industry where we have to work with other people. Oh yeah, definitely. So what does that mean? Like how it's, it's not always how. It means we're all lying. It means we're all constantly lying and we'd all rather be alone. That's not what it means. I definitely think there's a value that even though we tend to like be more in ourselves, we also find a lot of value being with other people as well and we're not gonna, we're not lying about that. Yeah. So I feel you carry in that like, oh man, I went into this industry and animation to work with other people, not really to work on myself. So sometimes when the accomplishment seems so centralized or if I'm supposed to feel about it, it's like, oh well, it's not always me. And there, I think there's a time where you have to take that personal accomplishment for sure, like I need to work on it. But also I think the appreciation and the gratitude always comes more so in the group setting of like, oh well, everyone else did a great job. And that's how I'll, that's how I'll try to, how I'll try to, what's the word? Reconcile with it. And then eventually I'll get in two way. I feel good about myself. I feel like it's all phases too. It's like, you'll be feeling good about something and then there's like that one thing that happens in the world or that one comment that somebody leaves on a video that you're just like, oh, now I hate everything again. Uh-oh. And then you're, then you, yeah, you do check out for a while and then something brings you back in. That's why I think I'm just, I'm realizing I'm in that phase of like, oh, I think I just need to disconnect. Yeah, that's right. But I'll still have this show and that's what matters. Because I like talking to y'all. Yeah. I think the, you said like, oh, getting a nasty comment sometimes like takes you out of it and like knocks you down a few pegs. For me, I don't like one way, I mean, that all happens to me too. Like definitely sucks. But one way I'm trying to help better cope with it. If I see a comment like that, I'll kind of take it to heart kind of, but in a way that I'm like, okay, well, I know maybe I fucked up this time. According to this person, but I'll know better for next time. And I'll try to better myself or my craft so I can stick it to that person and like move on. Yeah, so. That's a good way to look at it. Yeah. Just another way of coping. I feel like that's what 2020 is turning into. It's like how to cope with things. Yeah. How to stick it to the man. Speaking of coping. I'm gonna talk about, can I talk about video game? Can I talk about video game that's been helping me cope? Oh, yes. Yes, always. This is a game, it's actually been out for a very long time. Like I think like four or five years, but you just came out of it. That's a very long time. Well, I mean, in video game. Well, but it just came out on the switch. It just came out on the switch. It's called a crosscode. And it's basically, the way I would describe it is Sword Art Online meets Blue People Avatar. And a little bit of meets other avatars as well. Just a tiny bit. But you're basically like, and I will say like I'm, I think this is like a 30 to like 50 hour game. Oh, shit. I'm only like five hours in. So I don't know, I don't think I could possibly spoil anything major, but you basically, you start out, you're actually don't even notice it first. Like you start out and you're just like, a lot of these like weird things about like your brother looks like he's about to die, but he's like, you know, his last words are like, I'm doing this to free you and all the kind of stuff. And then you wake up as an MMO player in a game. And you find out that you're in this world where, you know, there's like another, I can't, I don't know if it's a planet or what it is exactly, but I think it's what it is. And there's people living there, but there's also people who are playing a game that are like a beaming their consciousness to an avatar to be in that world. And you are, they kind of make it seem like you were like involved in like, you know, some like, not you yourself necessarily, but like involved in some like wrongdoings or some like illegal things or some shady people. And now you're stuck with amnesia and you can't talk and you're like a level one player again. But the whole thing feels like this like simulated MMO where like you meet somebody who like, just went to the tutorial level and like they want to party up with you and then like they'll show up in your party and you join their friends guild and all this kind of like, it feels like an MMO, but it's a single player game. It's really fun. It's a, yeah, the, it's like the art styles very like Chrono Trigger, like SNES kind of style. Josh, you said you, you had played or you heard about it before? I had heard about it. It's been in my Steam wish list for probably about the last couple of years cause I've been like, I've, yeah, I added this. It looks like November 26th and 2016 to my Steam list. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. So it's been there for a minute. I just like, haven't gotten around to playing it cause there's been everything else in the world to play but every single little promotional video and screenshot that I've seen seems so varied from the last one that you can tell that it's like, it leads you on a saga and it looks like, it's like, like bad good shit. And then now that it's on, now that it's on Nintendo Switch, I might, I still might buy my Steam probably because I'm usually here playing games, but like also like, if I just want to like go out or sit in my bed and play games cause I, you know, just be a lazy piece of shit and play games in the bed but whatever, I can do that too. But like every time I see this game, I'm like, I need to get this game. You know what? Hold on. He's getting it now. Add to cart, purchase for self, making that decision right now. Agreed to turn it live. This just in. Oh God. Now he's going to return that game because he needs the money to buy a new mic. I was going to say, good thing he didn't buy that recorder earlier. Yeah. I definitely buying this game is better than buying the recorder. That's probably, yeah, there, I will say if you're going to, and this is like as of this recording, if you're going to buy it on the Switch, it's a little buggy, not bad. And I think they already have a patch for it. Like you get like some frame drops here and there. The menu loads a little slow. And I've caught, I have one thing where there's like an entire like subsection of a menu I can't get to anymore or crashes my game. But it's not an important subsection. Not yet. But I will, so something I want to double check this, something that I saw and I think, I think this game is made in HTML5. It is written entirely in HTML5, yeah. That is true. It's, which is like bonkers to me because this, it, like I feel this way, I feel this way about it. I feel like indie games more than I do AAA games. Where the movement in this game feels very good. And I feel like, I feel like that happens more often or not like Hyper Light Drifter or Hollow Knight. Like because it's a smaller team that is like hyper fixated versus like a AAA game which is like very good. But also like every decision, you know, everything has to be run through like 30 people and touches a lot of hands. It's harder to like iterate. I feel like that's all bullshit I'm making up because I don't know how to make video games. But it feels very good. And the fact that they got that from HTML5 just seems like crazy to me. Oh my gosh. So yeah, that's true as well, that the HTML5 thing. And here's the thing, you can download the demo on Steam right now but you can just also go to the, I think it's the Crosscode website and you can just play it straight off your browser. Like the demo. What? Yeah, you can go play it right now. And get a feel for the game because I'm just remembering I did this. I think it was like in the middle of like a lunch meeting. I was just like, let's just try it out. And I was like, oh my God, this is great. And then I didn't buy it. It's like literally right now. But it still works super, super well. Like not sponsored. It's also blowing my mind, not sponsored. It is also blowing my mind. HTML5. Cross.code.com. Is that true? Yeah, I just wanted to go check it. Oh, cool. Yeah, no, it says play the demo and it says Steam and it just says web version. Yep. Whoa. But it's a, in terms of like play style, it's a genre, it's very Zelda. Yes. Like it has a lot of puzzle solving, which I fucking love. But and the thing I love, and I don't want to, I don't want to track from something else. There's a game that came out of Switch a little while ago. I'm sure it's on Switch too. Oh, it's called Blossom Tales. Oh yeah. Blossom Tales of Sleeping King. I really love that game. I played it on Switch. It looks like it's on Steam too. I loved it and it was a Zelda clone. I don't mean that in a negative way. It's just like very clearly was inspired by like Link to the Past and other 2D Zelda games. But it definitely put its own spin on things and it felt like an homage to that. This feels like it was inspired by Zelda, but is not trying to do exactly what Zelda did. Like they're using it as an ingredient, which I like a lot. Yeah, I'm just a sucker for like fucking 2D, like platformer puzzle kind of challenging games. Man, people are so smart. Right? And then that's why I'm like, I am a piece of shit. They made a cool game in HTML5. All right, next season of Ruby. We're making it in HTML5. We heard it here first. No. HTML6. Yeah, we'll beta test HTML6. The only downside is we're gonna be sponsored by Microsoft, so we do have to... We can only use the Edge browser, but I mean... Everyone, please scream inside your heart. It is a clean experience, you know? Wow, that's so cool. It's not. Yeah, I would highly... Not Microsoft Edge. No, not Microsoft Edge. I would highly recommend that game. And that is the topic that I've brought this week. Yay. Well, I think that about wraps it up. Yeah. For this episode. Did we do it? I feel like the takeaway for me is I have to exercise. I, yeah. Yeah. So I can allow myself happiness. Can we all go bike riding together? I'll have to get a bike first, for sure. Yeah, I have to. Or we can all ride Josh's bike. Yeah. I don't know about that, but okay. We'll just stack. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, like on shoulders, yeah. Well, we'll have some extras, add some extras onto Josh's bike. He'll have like a side, a side ride. That'd be so cool. Can we stack up like a diamond? So there's like a foot here on each shoulder. Oh, yeah. It's all single on top of you. Yeah. Work out our cores. Exactly. Balance. We're absolutely exercising. Our traps, maybe. That's a muscle. That's trapezee lure? I don't know. Trapezee lure. Yeah, that's what it is. Trapezoid? No, yeah, that one. That is also the shape. Yeah. Y'all want to work on your trapezee lure? Oh, I'm doing it right now. My trapezee lure is just like I have like one kind of like muscle that runs diagonally in my back. Should I have that with that? It keeps getting bigger. I'm kind of afraid now. It talks. Does your trapezee lure talk to you? Because mine talks to me. That's normal. Don't worry about it. OK, good. OK, ooh. Can you make me happy? No, thank you. Thank you all so much for joining us. Erin, Josh, thank you very much. Thank you. And yeah, please go watch Recorded by Aerozol. I always say Aerozol and not Aerozol. Please go watch Recorded by Aerozol. And please continue to watch I Have Notes. We appreciate it and share all these things with everybody. And find your happiness and ride a bike. And wear a doom guy. Be Josh is basically kind of like that. Oh, yeah, that's a great one. Yeah, that's our new slogan. Be Josh. Bye, everyone. Bye.