 Hey, Psych2Goers, welcome back to another video. Have you ever had a partner, parent or friend, who always made you feel guilty? Do they make you feel like you owe them something? According to Sherry Steins, a California-based therapist who specializes in abuse and toxic relationships, manipulation is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way. You should note that there are different forms of manipulation, ranging from a pushy salesperson to an emotionally abusive partner. In either case, it's important to be aware of when someone may be manipulating you. So here are eight common phrases people use to manipulate you. Before we begin, we would like to mention that this video is not intended to suggest that somebody is emotionally abusive or manipulative when using these phrases. These are just some examples. If you feel that you may be at risk of being in an emotionally abusive relationship, confide in somebody you trust to discuss it with them. Look what you made me do. This one is probably most commonly used in friendships or romantic relationships to blame you for something they've done. Perhaps they say this to you when they've messed up on an assignment or overcooked dinner. Instead of acknowledging their own mistakes, they will find a way to place the blame on to you. They may say it's because you distracted them or because you were standing too close to them. Anyways, it's a way for them to remove responsibility from themselves and to shift it on to you. Number two, but you said, were you ever tricked into buying something only to later realize that what you bought was not what the salesperson offered or trapped into a commitment that does not have your best interest at heart. A common tactic used by sales and marketing companies is to make something sound really appealing by over exaggerating the benefits and advantages. When you get your hands on the actual product and find how far off it was compared to what the salesperson had described it to be, you may end up in a frustratingly futile but you said argument with them. They will turn what you've said to them against you to manipulate you into doing something that you don't want to do. Number three, don't be so sensitive. Have you ever been accused of being too emotional or sensitive? By saying this, especially in a situation where you're feeling uncomfortable, they're demonstrating that they don't care for your feelings or your emotional well-being. Whether you're uncomfortable at a group gathering or used as part of an insensitive joke, it's important to remember that how you feel in any situation is valid and real. Number four, I would never. Do you ever hear others say, I would never do that? I would never react in that way. Doing such things means you're not strong enough. Maybe you grew depressed after a breakup or you started picking up some bad habits after a close relative passed away. While some may say this without any negative intentions behind it, they're still judging your actions and discounting the situation you're in by saying they would never do the same thing. They're ignoring how you feel and the pressure you may be under. Number five, I know you feel strongly about this, but I need you to do it my way. It's what's best for us. Were you ever made to feel guilty and stayed in a relationship or friendship against your better judgment? When people want to hold on to something, sometimes they may use phrases that are unintentionally manipulative to get what they want. This includes making decisions in the name of doing what's best for both of you. Remember that in a healthy relationship, it's important to have both of your inputs heard and respected. Otherwise they may end up making all the decisions and doing what's convenient for them and not you. Number six, don't throw away. So people have a natural fear of loss. You may worry about what you have to lose as opposed to what you have to gain in the process. Parents may fear for their children when they decide to take a different route other than the ones they planned by saying things like, don't throw away everything you've worked so hard for. In romantic relationships, your partner may say, don't throw away everything we've built to trigger your fear of loss. This may end up making you stay in an unhappy relationship with them instead of letting it go. Number seven, don't overreact. How many times have you been told that you've overreacted when you don't feel like you have? Perhaps you've confronted them for coming home so late every evening and they brushed it off by saying that you're just overreacting. It's a manipulative tactic to avoid acknowledging your feelings and concerns and for them to get what they want from you. It may ultimately lead to your relationship becoming one sided with them calling all the shots. And number eight, don't misunderstand me. Have they ever accused you of misunderstanding their intentions when you brought up a concern about your relationship? Instead of addressing your concern and to communicate their side of the story, they may harass and accuse you of misinterpreting what happened. This aggressive approach is an effective way to dodge the conversation and to manipulate you into thinking that you've misunderstood the situation when you haven't. Have you noticed anyone using these phrases in your relationships? If you feel like you're being manipulated, talk to somebody you trust. If you found this video helpful, be sure to like and share this video with those who might benefit from it. And don't forget to hit the subscribe button and the notification bell icon to get notified whenever Psych2Go posts a new video. The references and studies used in this video are added in the description below. Thanks for watching and we'll see you in our next video.