 Welcome to Dare to Dream, yet another episode, and this is Debbie Daschinger, it's a pleasure to be here with you today. This show has been around for 13 years, started out on radio at Good Old Station here in Burbank, California, and thereafter has been in both camps. And is also on YouTube at youtube.com slash Debbie Daschinger. You've been nominated for two People's Choice Podcast Awards and a Webby Award, and it's ranked in the top 100 podcasts in the USA of all of self-improvement. I know in books that's the hardest category, so I am very encouraged by all of you who listen and comment, watch, respond, thank you so much. And thanks for turning other people onto the show by subscribing to the show and leaving me a five-star review. It helps other people find this conversation. I myself am a certified coach and I run a visibility hub. I help people who would like to write a book and have a book inside of them to write a page-turner book. I have a company that takes books to a guaranteed international bestseller and I teach people how to be interviewed on radio and podcast and get mad, crazy, incredible results such as filling your workshops, selling your books, finding your tribe and community and way more. You can go to my website. I've got lots of free gifts there for you and I encourage you to take advantage. There are things like how to know what your message is and more and a lot of, I just put out a free series of videos about how to do media, free PR for yourself. So go there and enjoy them. It's at Debbie-shinger.com, it's D-E-B-B-I, D is in David, A-C-H. I-N-G-E-R.com, enjoy the tools and templates that I've put together just for you because this really is a time for you to be visible and get the exposure that you so well deserve. Excited today. I just finished the book. And I'm going to suggest that if you have a rough day or think you've had a rough life, you might just want to indulge because this will change your perspective on everything. True Grit and Grace, I've got the author here and she is indeed that. Are you ready to find out about resilience and real hope? My guest is Amber Lee Lago, who is a health and wellness coach, a TEDx speaker and a podcaster, bestselling author of the book, True Grit and Grace. It is the story of how at age 38 she endures a horrific motorcycle accident while being hit by an SUV. And after 34 surgeries to save her leg from amputation, she is diagnosed with complex regional pain syndrome, which by the way is dubbed the suicide disease. She lives through it to become a leading expert in resilience transformation, turning tragedies into triumphs, as well as fitness and wellness. Amber Lee has been a certified personal trainer and a health coach for 22 years, previously a dancer. Amber Lee shares her passion for turning the tragedy into triumphs through workshops, through public events, corporate summits and schools. She offers hope and solutions for anyone feeling stuck or living with chronic pain. And she has been featured on NBC's The Today Show, The Doctors, Hallmark, Good Morning La La Land, and magazines such as Shape, Fit Pregnancy, Health and Disability Magazine. She is a Texan living in California with her husband and two children, and Amber Lee is out to change the world. You can find out more about her at amberlea lago.com, it's A-M-B-E-R-L-Y, L-A-G-O, and she is very active also on Instagram and YouTube herself. I want to thank the sponsors for this show, Dr. Dane Heer and Access Consciousness. They do beautiful healing energy work out into the world. If you would like to become a facilitator and learn their method, go to accessconsciousness.com. You can also learn their bars energy healing method. They've got books, they've got products, they've got online classes in person, some day soon, classes again, highly, highly recommended, Dr. Dane, D-A-I-N-H-E-E-R.com and accessconsciousness.com. And I welcome the very beautiful, wonderful, and resilient Amber Lee Lago to the Dare to Dream show. Oh my God, sister girl, it is so great to have you here today. Thank you so much for having me. That was quite the introduction. I think seriously the nicest introduction I've ever had. So I want to just hang out with you all the time. I feel the same. I told you before the show started, I feel intimate with you. I feel moved, which I haven't shared with you, but I feel deeply moved. And frankly, you gave me hope because I've been living with some chronic pain myself and feeling kind of hopeless about it. And especially towards the end of the book, you make a list of all the things you tried. And I was like, oh, I so get it, throwing money at this and throwing money at that. So I just want to start by saying, you know, I'm sorry you went through what you did. It's actually, it's so unthinkable what you endured. And I wonder if you had known then, what you know now, 34 surgeries this many years, what would you have done at the inception? Would you have done anything different when you were facing the news from the doctors? Well, you know, when I first woke up out of a coma, the first thing I learned was they told me, you've got a 1% chance of saving your leg. It's basically like a war wound. There's nothing we can do for it. We need to amputate. I held on to that 1% chance, that 1%, I was like, oh, there's 1%? Well, there's my hope. And that 1% was that glimmer of hope that I needed to get me through the surgeries. Now, I had no idea if they would have told me at the time, but it's going to take 34 surgeries to save it. I don't know what I would have said. And for a little while, I drove myself kind of crazy thinking, if I would have just amputated it, maybe I wouldn't have gotten complex regional pain syndrome. Maybe I wouldn't be in pain. I'd probably be running by now. But I can't get caught up in the could or would or should have. Because I think if we do that, it gets stuck instead of thinking about the possibilities we have in front of us of what is and then moving ahead. But I will tell you that after about a year, and I think it was on surgery, like number 24, 25, and I was in so much pain. And after that many surgeries, I'd been out of the hospital a while. I went into my pain doctor and I was like, yeah, Doc, you got to just cut it off. I can't handle the pain anymore. Just cut it off. And he's like, we can't do that. And I said, what do you mean you can't do it? No, you got to amputate. And he said, we can't do that because it won't get rid of your pain. It may, but it probably won't. And in fact, it could get worse because you have complex regional pain syndrome now and it's in your sympathetic nervous system. So your body is going to feel that pain whether you amputate it. In fact, it can spread to different limbs. So after I was on crutches for a while out of my wheelchair and on crutches, I fell down the stairs and I broke my wrist. And the doctors were terrified that I was going to get the CRPS in my wrist. And I didn't. It's a miracle. But I don't think mine's going to, I don't think mine's going to spread because I've done some pretty crazy, stupid stuff. And it has just stayed in that right leg. But it, you know, I don't know. And the doctors don't know. I may have developed CRPS if I would have had my leg amputated because it is caused by trauma. And so pain has been my biggest teacher. You know, it was one thing to go through all those surgeries. But to know when I was diagnosed and to find out that this is the rest of my life, that you will always live with pain. There's no known cure. That was like giving me a life sentence. And at first I did not want to accept that. I was in denial. That is when I really hit my rock bottom. Is when I was like, oh, this isn't going to get better. And so I think that we are, you know, we have a decision. And once we realize, you know, we have a decision and, you know, we can't always handle what life throws our way. But we do have a decision and how we're going to react to it. Then it puts us kind of back in the driver's seat and being able to make choices. And that's empowering in itself because, you know, it feels very disempowering when someone diagnoses you with an incurable disease. But you take your power back when you're like, well, this is what it is. Well, what are my options? What can I do? And so that is why I really dug deep to find different ways to strengthen my resilience. And I think we all need ways to strengthen our resilience right now. And, you know, my intention in here is to really share, you know, as much as I can, as many tools that I can to help anybody who's listening today who might be struggling, whether you're struggling with, you know, you may not have gone through a ton of surgeries or deal with chronic pain. But we all have pain in one form or another, whether, you know, we lost our job, whether, you know, we're in a really bad relationship, which is magnified right now because you're stuck under the same roof. Well, you know, we're pretty locked down here in California still. And so, you know, I'd like to give as many tools as I can. I love that. And we will definitely weave those in and out. I promise the listeners and the viewers. So what Amberley is referring to is here she is, she defies the doctors who initially are saying we definitely have to amputate. They give her a prognosis of 1% chance that she holds on to. She defies them and all the odds, which I love. And a condition that's so painful, it feels like fire ants can drive someone to suicide. So tell people, take them back. They have not, maybe all of them had the grace yet to read your book to that day. And what is it like, by the way, for you to even talk about it? Do you feel detached if you, you know, share a couple of sentences about what happened or does something get triggered inside of you? Well, you know, that is such an interesting question. No one has ever asked me that. I think that it's very healing when you can talk about something. And I think that if you can write about it, if you can like writing the book was very cathartic, but at first I have to admit it took me down a really dark path. And I actually hit my rock bottom in the middle of writing my book and I had to stop writing for a while. And I remember the editor came over and he was like, I just have to make sure you're okay because I think you opened up a can of worms and I just want to make sure you can put the lid back on. But I think that it's very, very healing and I can share my journey and my story and there's often times that will surprise me that I'll be talking and I get taken back to that moment and it gets me a little emotional. But I think the more that we share our story, the more that we can connect with other people who are struggling as well. So that day that it happened, I was really, I was finally in a place where I was like, life is good. I'm living the California dream. I worked so hard to get to where I was. I mean, I was a single mom for years. I had gone through a horrible relationship, abusive relationship, horrible divorce. And I was a single mom for years. I had nothing and I built my business from scratch and I finally had this thriving business. I'm married to my husband now, Johnny, who is a man of my dreams. We thought we couldn't have a baby. He's a man of my dreams too. The way you describe him and what he does and how he shows up, I mean, ah. He's a good man. You know what? He really is. He was every single surgery that I've had. He has been there. He's shown up. He, and in fact, he's, but he still reminds me to this day, well, you've got both your legs because of me, because the doctors were just going to amputate it. And if it weren't for me telling them to wait until you woke up and to let it be your decision, then you would have only had one leg, you know? So we, we kid humor has been like a secret to us getting like it's been medicine for us to get through so much in so many hard times that we can laugh about certain situations. But yeah, really life was good. We used to ride motorcycles. That was our thing. We had jet skis and motorcycles and that's what we did for fun. It was a holiday weekend and I had just that day ran my best time. I ran 11 miles in my best time. Running was my favorite thing to do. I love to run and finished work training clients and I hop on my Harley and I'm cruising down Ventura and as a cyclist, as when you ride a bike, you look out for other people and to make sure they see you. And I made eye contact with the guy. I thought I made eye contact with the guy and obviously I didn't. He shot out of a parking lot, T-boned me. I got thrown in the air. I'm sliding across the asphalt down Ventura and when I finally came to a stop, I looked down at my leg and it's just broken into pieces and my foot was dangling off and I remember thinking, you know, I had these leggings on and thinking that's the only thing keeping my leg together is the leggings and I was afraid to let go of my leg in my mind. Like I didn't want to reach back in my backpack to try to get my phone. I was afraid my leg would just fall off and there was just blood everywhere and I didn't know at the time that it was because my femoral artery was severed and the guy, thank goodness, came over and made a tourniquet on my leg right away and I immediately felt pain, but I don't think I realized just how serious it was because like one of my second thoughts was, oh, wow, this might be bad. I might have to train clients on crutches for a while and shoot, man, my husband's going to be mad. I have some pulled pork in his brand new backpack and it's probably all over his backpack. Not knowing that I am, I'm dying out. I'm bleeding out. I'm dying right there on the road and ambulance and paramedic got there and then I started to realize how serious it was because people weren't running over to me. They were walking, very discerning. They were hesitated to come over. One lady fainted and luckily this one lady came over and she grabbed my hands and she was a nurse and she told me to breathe and she helped me and when I got to the hospital it was, and that was a long ambulance ride by the way. That was the longest, paramedics couldn't give me any pain medication because I'm allergic to morphine and I remember thinking in that ambulance, am I going to die because I was trying to make eye contact with the paramedics like to say, am I okay, am I going to, am I going to get through this? They wouldn't make eye contact with me and so in my mind I'm thinking well maybe they're not looking at me because they know I'm going to die. They don't want to let me, they don't want to give me any indication that this is not good. You're not, you're a goner and so then I kind of wished I was because of the pain and the hospital, the room was chaotic because my husband's a cop and news travels fast so the whole ER was like full of, he was there, all the other, his you know fellow cops and it was just crazy and I heard this wailing, this crying and I had never, I was like what the heck is that? It was my husband. I had never seen or heard him cry. I had never seen him like that and he was just his eyes full of tears, face full of tears running back and forth and I was like honey get over here right now. I said I need you to be strong for me and see I just took me back to that moment, got a little emotional there. I needed to know that he was going to be able to pull it together if, if I didn't wake up. I didn't know if I was going to wake up and then this nurse leaned over me. Her name's Shaniqua and she leaned over she said I'm going to give you something to make you feel all better. That's the last thing I remember before I woke up trying to pull tubes out of my throat and then hold my arms down saying no don't, don't, don't pull the tubes out and they gave me a sheet of paper they're like oh I think she's trying to say something and the first thing I wrote was get off my tubes because my husband was leaning on the tubes and I couldn't breathe so that's the first thing I wrote and you'd think I'd be all loving like how long was I asleep or am I okay or no get off my tubes can't breathe. God you come from some stock I gotta tell you but you know your soul was incredibly equipped because you know you so beautifully weave the story of your life you know as a child through teenage through growing up in Texas and how you choose to come to California first Northern and then Southern and your career and relationship so it's like you really get to know you but there is something inherent in the entire story no matter what part whether it's you know you're prospering so much because you have this enormous drive I mean there's so many times in a good way I'll say I compared myself to you because I would think I don't know that I could have done in all honesty I don't know that I could have done what you did I don't know that I could have chosen what you did so talk to me about your drive like what is this fire that burns inside of you for life and for doing and accomplishing and there is no no in your space. You know that gets me in trouble sometimes but you know I do have a passion for life I do have a passion for people I love people I've always loved ever since I was a little kid I've loved working with people I love seeing people just grow and bloom and seeing that light inside them come off and I love connecting with people and that I think has been something that's been a little bit hard during these times I mean thank goodness for zoom but like I spoke at an event today and when I'm speaking they can see me but I can't see them and it makes me realize more than ever that the reason I started doing speaking events was because it's all about the people it's because I love people the reason I had you know it takes a lot of grit to travel for a book tour especially when you're in constant pain but what gave me like the the inspiration to do that and fueled the fire for me to do that is because at each book signing I got to meet people that I connected with on social media and so I think that's a big part of it and I realized doing that webinar today I was I even stopped in the middle of the webinar and I was like I was like y'all I can't see you and I know you can see me and there's nothing worse than doing a webinar and it feels like you're talking to yourself can you just like drop a message for me in the chat so that I know you're there because I think we're not meant to do things alone you know we're meant to hold each other up and and lean in on each other when the going gets tough and so I think it's real important to do things that just make your that spark your soul I think and at a time like this when it's tough times are tough and we were talking about before we started recording about how times have changed even in our neighborhoods and it's so important to find things that spark your soul and when you when you do when you find your purpose you know I don't think I ever had to find mine I feel like I always just knew mine by listening to my heart then it doesn't feel like work and in fact I have to like put the the brakes on a lot because I love what I do so much that I would just work 24-7 because it doesn't feel like work but I think that when you know your why you can get through almost anyhow if you just keep going back to the reason why you're doing it so when it gets hard and you want to give up when you want to throw in the towel when you're like I don't know if I can keep going you focus on your why and if your why is big enough you will keep going in fact I just had a friend reach out to me recently and she's and she's like wanted advice on how to start like a course that she's thinking about doing and she's like you know um I just don't know if it'll be worth it I mean the time that I would have to put in it the time away from my family she goes how did you know that it was worth it to like write your book and and to do what you've done and I said I never questioned whether it was worth it I said the fire in me and the passion to write that book I was going to do whatever I mean like we were talking about I was like I don't know how to write a book so okay well what I do I'm going to go take a course and I took you know the top one of the top teachers in our you know in in writing his classes the advanced class I threw myself into it you know method writing it's like if you don't know how to do something you you learn like even for this webinar I did I didn't know how to do like a screen share for a PowerPoint I'm used to doing speaking engagements where I give the event organizer here are my slides and then all I had to do is click a button and it's like this is the time where we have to figure things out and you might have to go back to your why quite a bit because it's not as easy for me anyway it's not as easy to navigate my way through a lot of new changes and I think it's really important to do what makes your heart and soul happy and focus on your why and if you don't know start playing around and lean into your creativity yeah 100 you know what I like about what you just said Amberley is when you started writing you never question and I think the secret sauce is you're not in the end result you're in the process because if we literally go out of ourselves and try to anticipate will it be worth it what we're asking is future come tell me how will this turn out and it can never be so we can only be in the moment that's where the the magic is anyway so I really agree with you and I love the fact that you also another piece I feel about what you shared is that you know these times are throwing us into new methodologies I agree you know I used to only do privates with people for book writing now I've got an ongoing book writing membership and I'm actually loving it I I didn't know that I would but the people I attract and the work we do and I'm a writer too I get as much out of the classes so it's been tremendous the fact that you say well I didn't know what to do that but you learn and I think most of the time we learn these things with today's technology and it's like it's so simple it's actually very simple you know and always a product a podcast a book it is about reaching our people it's a way for us to communicate our message so much more deeply one of the things that you did and we're going to sort of weave in and out of Amberley's stories we go ahead but you know the fact that you're walking today is like a pretty amazing well sometimes it's not real pretty yeah yeah sometimes it's not real pretty I mean what do you mean by that exactly well I remember years ago I had a friend of mine that I used to work with who said oh yeah I can always spot you from a mile away because you walk with such grace you walk like a dancer and I never really thought of that never thought about walking and I remember after my accident one day I was on my way to physical therapy and I was watching the people walk across the street like the crosswalk and I was like oh gosh I wonder if I'll ever walk like that again and I was just I just so wanted to be able to to walk with ease and grace and not have to think about every single step or feel every single step so intensely or think about okay I have to go from here to there do I think I can make it how much pain am I going to be in by the time I get over there you know it's like there's so much that goes into play whereas before I never even thought about it and so after my last surgery it really did something with the complex regional pain syndrome where I used to be able to wear like a skinny jean or a tight fitting sock or just about any tennis shoe and it I woke up from surgery and I was so flared up and it's never quite been the same that's been a couple of years ago and so to this day I still wear like bell bottom pants and people are like oh are those coming back in style and I'm like no actually they're just the only kind of pant I can wear and it's so funny because I work out and I have like one pair of old boots that don't flare me up and so I wear those to work out and I wear them to hike in I wear I wear them for everything you hike I can hike easier than I can like walk long distance on the asphalt and I think it's because of the you know what I think it is I think part of it when I'm really thinking about that right now I think some of that is distraction from the pain and when you're hiking you kind of you have to be in the moment but you have to pay attention to where you're stepping and you're looking at what you're you know you're looking around and if I'm walking on straight asphalt I don't really have to think about it's just straight and so I'm just focusing on this is painful like I can feel the pain and I think so much about pain is whatever we focus on we feel more of so it's like look with a baby if a baby falls and skins their knees you brush them off you pick them up you go oh are you okay oh you're you know you acknowledge it but then you move on but if you were to make a huge deal out of it and you keep looking at that bloody knee and that's all you're talking about then that baby is going to freak out they're that's all they're going to focus on but if the same for my pain if I acknowledge it and I ask my body what does it need what is it trying to tell me and then I move on and kind of process how far can I go how much can I do do I need to persevere a little bit more do I need to reel it in and rest a little bit more but um the walking thing is like you know because my ankle is fused you know my whole leg's metal from the knee down my toes are metal and it's it's hilarious when I go get a pedicure because they try to like bend my toes down to like my toes and I'm like dude they're they're metal they don't they don't bend what about TSA I mean when you were able to travel how do you go through those oh I have a special card that says that it's it's full of metal and it's so funny though it's so hilarious that because my legs deformed and I wear bell bottoms because they're comfy um uh you know I get lots of looks when people see my leg anyway but when you can't see my leg and you go through TSA and they pat me down and it feels hard as a rock in places because the bone sticks out in one place they feel my leg and they always pause and stop I'm like ah it's it's deformed and they're like oh okay she's clear let her through they're like I don't want to ask any questions yeah you know I was actually amazed so I went on to find pictures of you because I'm reading the book and I guess the visual aspect to me I'm like I want more I wanted more wanted to fill in whatever blanks I was hungry for and so I saw pictures of you first in the hospital that was hard to look at I have to say oh um but really at the same time is powerful because my god it drove home like here you are describing already I'm sort of identifying with you but then to see it it's like oh mama Mia well a picture says a thousand words right like a picture says like it's you know I tried to write like so you could feel what it felt like oh you do you do but I want to say I feel like in the and I even saw the pictures after your surgery and there's pins everywhere and you know like it's good to see this I really think that it's important and yet to see you on the other side it's so beautiful the celebratory pictures you have showing off your leg which to me I was like I think you look great and I was amazed at the top of your leg like I mean I could be missing something but it looks completely perfect was anything done yeah yes actually and thank you I remember they had to take skin and they weren't sure if they well they had to take muscle and they weren't sure where they were going to take the muscle from they were going to take it either from if they could my calf but they were probably going to take it from my back and I remember going oh I don't want to scar on my back too and so they were able I was like thank God I had huge calves because they were able to take my calf and flip it to the front of my leg so now part of my calf is in the front of my leg and it's really crazy when you get like a charlie horse in your calf but it's in front of your leg and you can't stretch it out it's so wild but then they were going to take skin and I said could you please don't take it from my back please take it if you're going to take it if you have to take it then take it from my leg and so my leg from the hip down they took all the skin and I've got like holes in the side of it from where they had rods to stabilize my leg and my knees pretty disfigured and but when I went back to see my plastic surgeon who did the skin graft and muscle flaps he said you know and all the years of surgeries I've never seen a skin graft heal up as well as yours he goes I can't believe it he's like I can hardly tell that we did skin grafts and so you know I just try to keep it out of the sun and but I used to be really embarrassed of my scars and I mean in fact I hated my leg I hated it not just not just the way that it looked but I hated that it gave me pain I hated that my foot wouldn't point anymore I mean being a dancer my whole life the fact that I couldn't point my foot it's still drives me crazy a little bit I have to admit um but I really just was so embarrassed that I would never let anyone see my leg I would always cover it up it could be a hundred degrees outside and I would have on boots that were up to my knee to try to cover up my leg I didn't want anybody to know that there wasn't that you know something was wrong with me I tried to I tried to pretend like nothing was wrong I was in denial about my my nerve disease and it was it was so hard because on the outside I was trying to pretend like everything was okay and nothing was wrong and I wasn't in pain and on the inside I was hanging on by a thread I was like dying inside and I couldn't keep pretending I couldn't keep trying to suck up the pain and and numb out I started just to try to numb out to get through the pain and and pain demands to be heard you know we can't keep sucking it up or or drinking it away or shopping it away or whatever we're doing to it will eventually come up it will come up in our work it'll come up in our relationships and unless we let it rise to the surface and really start to deal with the situation and take steps to make it better we're going to repeat old patterns or we're going to be stuck or we're going to be resentful or we're going to be miserable is what I started just be depressed and miserable until I was like I can't live like this anymore I I know this is not the life that I was supposed to live that was the moment that I decided I need help and that asking for help was probably the most courageous thing I've ever done because as a Texan as a girl who grew up with you know sayings like cowgirl up get her done hide your crazy and be a lady that was really hard to ask for help to admit that I needed help admit I had a problem that was hard but it changed my life hmm one of the things I was so curious about you know when you describe the scene of the accident and the gentleman who has hit you who was in an SUV and plows into you he stands with his arms crossed and and there's not a look of panic or oh my god you know praying or anything it's more like oh my god you know yeah I'm gonna get where I'm going it wasn't your perception was that he was inconvenienced but I was so curious throughout this whole ordeal until now have you ever heard from him I've never heard from him and and you know uh the the editor of the book actually he said um you know you need to add in he said you forgot to write about the part where you're angry at the guy who hit you and I'm like oh I'm not angry he goes well you gotta be angry he goes there the guy hit you I was like well it was an accident he goes no a rock falling down off the cliff into panga is an accident he shot out of that parking lot he hit you that is not an accident and I was like well no I never thought of it that way I was like it no I said I have not had time to be angry I had to heal if I would have spent my time being angry in the hospital I wouldn't have healed the way that I did and and at that moment the editor said I want you to look down at your leg he goes look at what that man did to you and I was like okay yeah you're right I'm a little angry looking down at this leg I'm going to add that in there so I did have I think it at first I was not angry I was I think you were also just trying to survive I was just trying to survive I was a lot to be thrown at any human at one time and it just seemed to me like every like you talk about two steps forward four steps back and it truly is even if you get the titanium in your leg I mean when you got to that part where you said that you're trying to go in the grocery store and you realize your leg is bowing and you go see the doctor the doctor says oh my god we have to get you in surgery right away you broke in the titanium and the screws into a million pieces we and then another 10 hour surgery I was just like how much can a human endure like at what point you know so I also feel like it's very difficult to process feelings when all like I just want to live and be intact and be with my hubby and kids and have a lifestyle and whatever else and you know I was in and out of surgery so much and yeah when my leg started bowing I had to fly to Texas when my grandfather passed away and I was still on crutches at the time and traveling with a two-year-old in a backpack by myself I remember Ruby started running across like took off in the airport and I threw my crutches down to run like to try to run after her and shortly after that my leg started bowing out and I think I don't know for sure but I think that may have been when I did it but I wasn't so much pain all the time anyway that it was but it got to the point where I couldn't take a step and the doctor the look on his face when I sat in front of him and I grabbed my knee and I grabbed my ankle and bent my leg where it wasn't supposed to mean I said I don't think this is right I said I think something's wrong yeah and I but I had no idea I thought maybe they could just put a cast on it I had no idea and so at this point too my doctor knew what kind of person I was like some people you give them the green light you can try walking and they might hesitate a little bit if it hurt but the doctor said green light you can try to walk I don't think he realized I'm gonna be walking every day I'm going to physical therapy every day I'm going to the gym every day I'm gonna start training clients again and so he realized what kind of person he was dealing with when I'd go back into the office and my husband would go doc you would not believe what my wife did this week she went she went you know paddle boarding she went on the flying trip he's she's going to the gym and the doctor was like well good for you you just do what makes you happy just do what do what you can and I said see there honey he said yes but when I broke the titanium they checked me into the hospital for two weeks and made sure that I did not get up out of that hospital bed because it was a very intense surgery it took two doctors to be in there to do the surgery and it was a 10 hour surgery the first one and then they had to wait a couple of days to close me back up so they put a wound back on and waited a couple of days to completely close it and I went in for my checkup and and Dr. Wiss and Dr. Sherman who were there Dr. Sherman said I was laughing said I've never seen Dr. Wiss sweating like that and in all my years of knowing him to do surgery because and I was so happy you know he didn't give up on me he could have easily said well could got the rod out or got the broken pieces out couldn't get the rod in but he worked 10 hours until he could get that rod in and thanks to him I'm able to walk you know on both my legs yeah it's amazing but the team is befitting of you there's a there's a quote from Elizabeth Edwards which says resilience is accepting your new reality even if it's less good than the one you had before you can fight it you can do nothing but scream about what you've lost or you can accept that and try to put together something that's good and I feel that really speaks to your life and the choices you made are you actually training people right now are you still I know you're speaking everywhere but are you still a physical trainer and so who is so lucky to work with you oh you're so sweet I actually only have a handful of clients clients that I've had for like 15 20 years that are they're like family when I after my accident about a year and a half after my accident I was able to go back to work and to my surprise my business just boomed I I thought nobody's going to want to train with me I'm broken I used to train people how to run like I taught people how to pace themselves for marathons I taught you know people who wanted to become a CHP officer I got them conditioned for the physical test and now I'm on crutches like who's going to want to work with me but to my surprise because people had seen me in a wheelchair on crutches at the gym then back on a wheelchair then walking I mean I just showed up right like a week after I got home from the hospital I was at the gym with my leg bandage probably not the smartest thing but it was good for my soul and my business boomed and my schedule packed and I realized after about a year of nearly killing myself being on my feet trying to do this I thought this is not serving my my health my family and it's I was given it all I had during the day to my clients and then I wasn't so much pain I could barely function the rest of the day and so it was one of the hardest things I had to do but you know we all make decisions that are hard but hopefully for our own good and you never know what other doors open up as a result to those closing and so I stopped training one-on-one clients and then started doing coaching and speaking and then that became more I never dreamed you could make a career from from speaking I just never I had no idea that was possible and and so I still do coaching but in group settings and I still have a couple of clients and actually I see them one-on-one that that I've and through COVID I've still been training them through Zoom so awesome that's so wonderful I mean I would totally hire you who wouldn't hire you like oh yeah that's so powerful you know I so I have a question and I had like a soul level question because I thought it was very interesting when you call together your entire life story if you will there are actually three accidents that happen and I thought there was some kind of relevance but I would like you to weigh in because you'll know the truth there's two actually prior to what happens to you at 38 right there's one while you're in high school and you have this you're in a car and something happens and it is your leg that gets affected right then three months prior to the the big tragedy that happens you are also in an accident and again it's your leg so all of this happens before you're 38 these two other incidents and I just felt so curious to you on a soul level feel that there was a contract at some level like this was going to happen and maybe you had these little nudges if you will that you're being warned and prepared in some way that something terrible and tragic is going to happen but also I mean maybe in some you know perverse way it's wonderful because look what you're giving back to the world right now because of your completely new point of view and who knows why else the soul may have agreed to this do you feel like there is any possibility in that or do you feel like these were completely independent you know I think that everything that we go through we don't understand you know we could in fact our our friend Nancy um Sommers in our interview she said um gosh Amberley do you ever ask why why me and I'm like no I never ask why me because that makes me feel like a victim I mean why not me who you know why not me why not me because I can get through this and show others that they can heal and get through difficult times too and and I think that we go through things and sometimes we don't understand while we're going through it but everything that we're going through I feel like it's a learning opportunity and as as much as it sucks or it's hard or it's just not fair it is really a way for us to learn and those things that I went through as a kid you know I learned to be self-reliant as a kid so I learned I learned to have grip as a kid from my dance teacher from my track coach um I definitely you know did not have the easiest childhood I had to work hard for I had the best parent I love my mom and dad they're and but they didn't have we didn't have it easy you know I started working at a young age and if I wanted something I had to work for it if I wanted you know a new pair of cool jeans I would have to pay for them had to buy my own car I had to pay for my way to California and drove out here I wasn't one of these kids whose parents like oh let me fly you out to LA and we'll go pick out an apartment together it was like see ya you're on your own hope you make it you'll probably be back but we wish you well you know but all those things and all those difficult times over time that built that built resilience and I knew I could get through some of the toughest times and so I knew that I had it in me to get through these hard times and and you know what we all have that resilience within us and but the thing is it's not like it's just there and we've got it we have to work for it's like going to the gym you can't be strong without working out or working your body you can't be a writing teacher and and teach other people how to write without writing so much like you being an expert in your field you've worked hard at doing what you do and resilience we can't get through those hard times if we're not getting out of our comfort zones a little bit every day I used to always tell my clients do something that scares you every day and when you do something hard like today when I did a webinar and it was the first time that I've ever done a webinar where I had to facilitate it I had to do the slides I had to answer the chat in the question box and all of that I finished and I was like wow I did it that was that was hard and and you know for some people technology comes easy that's hard for me yeah for some people you know working out comes really hard this has given me perspective on so much in life I remember when I was training clients in the gym full-time and I you know worked out my whole life and I had I would have people come in and say um gosh you know I'm just so intimidated about all these machines I don't know how to work on my and I never understand that I'd be like how can you be intimidated by this just sit on the machine and and do it well my accident totally gave me perspective because all of a sudden I'm working on a computer never owned a computer and I'm having to do things and I remember I didn't even know how to send an email with a picture attached to it and I was like ah I get it now like learning something new you know we all start somewhere and it's hard in the beginning and messy in the middle and hopefully very beautiful in the end you know but we just keep going well this is dare to dream Amberley so what do you next dare to dream what are your future dreams and goals oh you know I feel like I'm I'm right now I I'm living the life that I love actually I'm doing what I love doing I mean I get to work from home a lot right now I was at the time when COVID hit I was like oh I'm so I'm kind of burned out I've been traveling non-stop speaking at conferences and I was kind it was hard being away from my family and everything now what I would not give to be going to speak at a conference and hugging people but you know what um I love what I'm doing I'd love to see you know my podcast grow more I would love you know I've got an outline for a second book um I'd love to to get that off and going but I've got so much right now that I'm doing with a mastermind and a course and in clients and interviewing people for the podcast that I feel like I'm having so much fun I think dare to dream though I would I'd love I'd love to do conferences again speak at conferences and I guess a big dream of mine would be to hold my own conference wow powerful I'll come to that where can people you'll be speaking it it would be my honor and pleasure to be on your stage my dear thank you where can people find you where can they find your podcast oh thank you for asking yeah reach out to me amberleylago.com that's a m b e r l y l a g o .com and you can find free gifts there you can find the podcast there it's called true grit and grace or you can find it on apples did your google any other any of your favorite listening platforms um and yeah reach out to me I check all my emails all my dms you can see some of the behind the scenes on instagram at amberley lago motivation so I'd love to hear from you and is there anything here at the end amberley that you'd like to share with the listeners and the viewers well I want to thank you you are just such a beautiful soul and thank you for having the show for your listeners I think that we can all agree I'm speaking for your listeners I mean you have such a beautiful heart and thank you for having this show so that we can all connect on a deeper level um and I just want to say I think if if you can take away anything from our time together today that just to know that change is possible and hope is available and the choice is yours your dreams can come true don't give up on your dreams just one step at a time keep going after them I end the show with this quote from Maya Angelou I can be changed by what happens to me but I refuse to be reduced by it you can subscribe to the weekly number one transformation conversation on dare to dream and next week I am having a guest return the amazing Glenn Harold I'm so excited to have further deeper conversation with this world renowned hypnotist who frankly changed my life I still listen to his apps and his meditations and recordings this man is a genius and we had such great conversation the first time he immediately said I have to come back I have to come back so he will be back next week and you can send questions should you have them remember if you love what you hear and you want to see myself and my beautiful guests go to youtube.com slash debbie dashinger d e b b i d a c h i n g e r and it's always the courage to begin your dream in the first place don't just dare to dream dare to turn all your dreams into your reality thanks friends