 section 15 of actions and reactions this is a LibriVox recording all LibriVox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit LibriVox.org actions and reactions by Rudyard Kipling the house surgeon on an evening after Easter day I sat at a table in a homework bound steamers smoking room where half a dozen of us told ghost stories as our party broke up a man playing patience and the next alcove said to me I didn't quite catch the end of that last story about the curse on the family's firstborn it turned out to be drains I explained as soon as new ones were put into the house the curse was lifted I believe I never knew the people myself ah I've had my drains up twice I'm on gravel too you don't mean to say you've a ghost in your house why didn't you join our party any more orders gentlemen before the bar closes the steward interrupted sit down again and have one with me said the patient's player no it isn't a ghost our trouble is more depression than anything else how interesting then it's nothing anyone can see it's it's nothing worse than that little depression and the odd part is that there hasn't been a death in the house since it was built in 1863 the lawyer said so that decided me my good lady rather and he made me pay an extra thousand for it how curious unusual too I said yes ain't it it was built for three sisters Moultrie was the main three old maids they all lived together the eldest owned it I bought it from her lawyer a few years ago and if I've spent a pound on the place first and last I must have spent five thousand electric light new servants wing garden all that sort of thing a man in his family ought to be happy after so much expense ain't it he looked at me through the bottom of his glass does it affect your family much my good lady she's a Greek by the way and myself are middle-aged we can bear up against depression but it's hard on my little girl I say little but she's 20 we send her visiting to escape it she almost lived at hotels and hydros last year but that isn't pleasant for her she used to be a canary a perfect canary always singing you ought to hear her she doesn't sing now that sort of things unwholesome for the young ain't it can't you get rid of the place I suggested not accepted a sacrifice and we're fond of it just suits us three we'd love it if we were allowed what do you mean by not being allowed I mean because of the depression it spoils everything what's it like exactly I couldn't very well explain it must be seen to be appreciated as the auctioneers say now I was much impressed by the story you were telling just now it wasn't true I said my tale is true if you would do me the pleasure to come down and spend a night at my little place you'd learn more than you would if I talked to a morning very likely to wouldn't touch your good self at all you might be immune ain't it on the other hand if this influenza influence does happen to affect you why I think it will be an experience while he talked he gave me his card and I read his name was L Maxwell Mallowed Esquire of Holmes Crawl a city address was tucked away in a corner my business he added used to be furs if you are interested in furs I've given 30 years of my life to him you're very kind I murmured far from it I assure you I can meet you next Saturday afternoon anywhere in London you choose to name and I'll be only too happy to motor you down it ought to be a delightful run at this time of year the Rotodendrons will be out I mean it you don't know how truly I mean it very probably it won't affect you at all and I think I may say I have the finest collection of narwhal tusks in the world all the best skins and horns have to go through London and L Max well I'm allowed he knows where they come from and where they go to that's his business for the rest of the voyage up channel Mr. Mallowed talked to me of the assembling preparation and sale of the rarer furs and told me things about the manufacture of fur line coats which quite shocked me somehow or other when we landed on Wednesday I found myself pledged to spend that weekend with him at Holmes cost on Saturday he met me with a well-groomed motor and ran me out in an hour and a half to an exclusive residential district of dustless roads and elegantly designed country billus each standing in from three to five acres of perfectly appointed land he told me land was selling at 800 pounds the acre and the new golf links whose queen and provision we passed had cost nearly 24,000 pounds to create Holmes croft was a large to storied low creeper covered residents of Aranda at the south side gave on to a garden and to tennis courts separated by a tasteful iron fence from a most park-like meadow of five or six acres where to Jersey cows grazed he was ready in the shade of a promising copper beach and I could see groups on the lawn of young men and maidens appropriately clothed playing lawn tennis in the sunshine a pretty scene ain't it said mr. Maloud my good lady sitting under the tree and that's my little girl in pink on the far court but I'll take you to your room and you can see him all later he led me through a wide parquet floored hall furnished in pale lemon with huge cloison a bosses and ebonized and gold grand piano and banks of pop flowers and banners brass bowls up a pale oak staircase to a spacious landing where there was a green velvet sati trimmed with silver the blinds were down and the light lay in parallel lines on the floors he showed me my room saying cheerfully you may be a little tired one often is without knowing it after a run-through traffic don't come down till you feel quite restored we shall all be in the garden my room was rather warm and smelt of perfumed soap I threw up the window at once but it opened so close to the floor and work so clumsily that I came within an ace of pitching out where I should certainly have ruined a rather lopsided labyrinth below as I said about washing off the journey's dust I began to feel a little tired but I reflected I'd not come down here in this weather and among these new surroundings to be depressed so I began to whistle and it was just then that I was aware of a little gray shadow as it might have been a snowflake seen against the light floating at an immense distance in the background of my brain it annoyed me and I shook my head to get rid of it then my brain telegraphed that it was the forerunner of a swift striding gloom which there was yet time to escape if I would force my thoughts away from it as a man leaping for life forces his body forward and away from the fall of a wall but the gloom overtook me before I could take in the meaning of the message I moved toward the bed every nerve already aching with the fore knowledge of the pain that was to be dealt it and sat down while my amazed and angry soul dropped golf by golf into that horror of great darkness which is spoken up in the Bible and which as auctioneers say must be experienced to be appreciated despair upon despair misery upon misery fear after fear each causing their distinct and separate woe packed in upon me for an unrecorded length of time until at last they blurred together and I heard a click in my brain like the click in the ear and one descends in a diving bell and I knew that the pressures were equalized within and without and that for the moment the worst was at an end but I knew also that at any moment the darkness might come down anew and while I dwelt on this speculation precisely as a man torments a raging tooth with his tongue it up the way into the little gray shadow on the brain of its first coming and once more I heard my brain which knew what would recur telegraph to every quarter for help release or diversion the door opened and allowed reappeared I thanked him politely saying I was charmed with my room anxious to meet Mrs. Maloud much refreshed with my wash and so on and so forth beyond a little stickiness at the corners of my mouth it seemed to me that I was managing my words admirably the while that I myself coward at the bottom of unclimable pits Maloud laid his hand on my shoulder and said you've got it now already ain't it yes I answered it's making me sick it will pass off when you come outside I give you my word it will then pass off come I shambled out behind him and wiped my forehead in the hall you mustn't mind he said I expect the run tired you my good lady is sitting there under the copper beach she was a fat woman in an apricot colored gown with a heavily powdered face against which her black long lashed eyes showed like currents and dove I was introduced to many fine ladies and gentlemen of those parts magnificently appointed land dows and covered motors swept in and out of the drive and the air was gave with the merry outcries of the tennis players as twilight drew on they all went away and I was left alone with mr. Mrs. Maloud while tall men servants and maid servants took away the tennis and tea things miss Maloud had walked a little down the drive with a light-haired young man who apparently knew everything about every South American railway stock he had told me at tea that these were the days of financial specialization I think it went off beautifully my dear said mr. Maloud to his wife and to me you feel all right now ain't it of course you do Mrs. Maloud surged across the gravel her husband skipped nimbly before her into the south a randa turned a switch and all homescroft was flooded with life you can do that from your room also he said as they went in there is something in money ain't it miss Maloud came up behind me in the dust we have not yet been introduced she said but I suppose you are staying the night your father was kind enough to ask me I replied she nodded yes I know and you know too don't you I saw your face when you came to shake hands with mama you felt the depression very soon it is simply rightful in that bedroom sometimes what do you think it is bewitchment in Greece where I was a little girl it might have been but not in England do you think or do you cheer up the it will all come right he insisted no papa she shook her dark head nothing is right while it comes it is nothing that we ourselves have ever done in our lives that I will swear to you said Mrs. Maloud suddenly and we have changed our servants several times so we know it is not them never mind let us enjoy ourselves while we can said mr. Maloud opening the champagne but we did not enjoy ourselves the talk failed there were long silences I beg your pardon I said why I thought someone at my elbow was about to speak ah that is the other thing said miss Maloud her mother groaned we were silent again and in a few seconds it must have been a live grief beyond words not ghostly dread or horror but aching helpless grief overwhelmed us each I felt according to his or her nature and held steady like the beam of a burning glass behind that pain I was conscious there was a desire on somebody's part to explain something on which some tremendously important issue hung meantime I rolled bread pills and remembered my sins Maloud considered his own reflection in a spoon his wife seemed to be praying and the girl fidgeted desperately with hands and feet till the darkness passed on as though the malignant rays of a burning glass had been shifted from us there said miss Maloud half rising now you see what makes a happy home oh sell it sell it bother mine and let us go away but I've spent thousands on it you shall go to Harrogate next week thea dear I'm only just back from hotels I'm so tired of packing cheer up thea it is over you know it does not often come here twice in the same night I think we shall dare now to be comfortable he lifted a dish cover and helped his wife and daughter his face was lined and fallen like an old man's after the box but his hand did not shake in his voice was clear as he worked to restore us by speech and action he reminded me of a gray muzzle collie hurting demoralized sheep after dinner we sat around the dining room fire the drawing room might have been under the shadow for art we knew talking with the intimacy of gypsies by the wayside or have wounded comparing notes after a skirmish by 11 o'clock the three between them had given me every name and detail they could recall that in any way bore on the house and what they knew of its history we went to bed in a fortified blaze of electric life my one fear was that the blasting gust of depression would return the surest way of course to bring it I lay awake till dawn breathing quickly and sweating lightly beneath what the Quincy inadequately describes as the oppression of inexpeable guilt now as soon as the lovely day was broken I fell into the most terrible of all dreams that joyous one in which all past evil has not only been wiped out of our lives but has never been committed and in the very bliss of our assured innocence before our loves shriek and change countenance we wake to the day we have earned it was a coolish morning but we preferred to breakfast in the south veranda the forenoon we spent in the garden pretending to play games that come out of boxes such as croquet and clock golf but most of the time we drew together and talked the young man who knew all about South American railways took miss mullard for a walk in the afternoon and at five mullard thoughtfully world us all up to dine in town I don't say you will tell the psychological society and bet you will come again said miss mullard as we party because I know you will not you should not say that said her mother you should say goodbye mr. Perseus come again not him the girl cried he has seen the Medusa's head looking at myself in the restaurant's mirrors it seemed to me that I had not much benefited by my weekend next morning I wrote out all my home's cross notes that full as length in the hope that by so doing I could put it all behind me but the experience worked on my mind as they say certain imperfectly understood Ray's work on the body I'm less calculated to make her Sherlock Holmes than any man I know for I lack both method and patience yet the idea of following up the trouble to its source fascinated me I had no theory to go on except a vague idea that I had come between two poles of a discharge and had taken a shock meant for someone else this was followed by a feeling of intense irritation I've waited cautiously on myself expecting to be overtaken by horror of the supernatural but myself persisted in being humanly indignant exactly as though it had been the victim of a practical joke it was in great pains and up evils that I felt in every fiber but its dominant idea to put it coarsely was to get back a bit of its own by this I knew that I might go forward if I could find a way after a few days it occurred to me to go to the office of mr. J. M. M. Baxter the solicitor who had sold Holmescroft to mellowed I explained that I had some notion of buying the place would he act for me in the matter mr. Baxter a large grayish throaty voicemail showed no enthusiasm I sold it to mr. Mallowed he said it did scarcely do for me to start on the running down tack now but I can recommend I know he's asking an awful price I interrupted and on top of it he wants an extra thousand for what he calls your clean bill of health mr. Baxter sat up in his chair I had all his attention you're guaranteed with the house don't you remember it yes yes that no death had taken place in the house since it was built I remember perfectly he did not gulp as untrained men do when they lie but his jaws moved stickily and his eyes turning towards the deed boxes on the wall dulled I counted seconds one two three one two three up to ten a man I knew can live through ages of mental depression in that time I remember perfectly his mouth opened a little as though it had tasted old bitterness of course that sort of thing doesn't appeal to me I went on I don't expect to buy a house free from death certainly not no one does but it was mr. Mallowed's fancy his wife's brother I believe and since we committed it was my duty to my clients that would ever cost to my own feelings to make him pay that's really why I came to you I understood from him you knew the place well oh yes always did it originally belonged to some connections of mine the mrs. Mowtree I suppose how interesting it must have left the place before the country roundabout was built up they were very fond of it indeed I don't wonder so restful and sunny I don't see how they could have brought themselves to part with it now it is one of the most constant peculiarities of the English that in polite conversation and I it's driven to be polite no one ever does or sells anything for mere money's sake Miss Agnes the youngest fell ill he spaced his words a little and as they were very much attached to each other that broke up the home naturally I fancied it must have been something of that kind one doesn't associate the Stafford Sher Mowtree's my demon of irresponsibility at that instant created him with with being hard up I don't know whether we're related to them he answered importantly we may be for our branch of the family comes from the Midlands I give this talk at length because I'm so proud of my first attempt at detective work when I left him 20 minutes later with instructions to move against the owner of Holmescroft with a view to purchase I was more bewildered than any Dr. Watson at the opening of a story why should a middle-aged solicitor turn plover's egg color and drop his jaw when reminded of so innocent and festival of matter as that no death had ever occurred in a house that he had sold if I knew my English vocabulary at all the tone in which he said the youngest sister fell ill meant that she had gone out of her mind that might explain his change of countenance and it was just possible that her demented influence still hung about Holmescroft but the rest was beyond me I was relieved when I reached Maloud's city office and could tell him what I had done not what I thought Maloud was quite willing to enter into the game of the pretended purchase but did not see how it would help if I knew Baxter he's the only living soul I can get at who was connected with Holmescroft I said our living soul is good some Maloud at any rate our little girl would be pleased that you are still interested in us won't you come down someday this week how is it there now I asked he screwed up his face simply frightful he said fear is that droid witch I should like it immensely but I must cultivate Baxter for the present you'll be sure and keep him busy your end won't you he looked at me with quiet contempt do not be afraid I shall be a good Jew I shall be my own solicitor before a fortnight was over Baxter admitted roofily that Maloud was better than most firms in the business we buyers were coy argumentative shocked at the price of Holmescroft inquisitive and cold by turns but Mr. Maloud the seller easily met and surpassed us and Mr. Baxter entered every letter telegram and consultation at the proper rates in a cinematograph film of a bill at the end of the month he said it looked as though Maloud thanks to him we're really going to listen to reason I was many pounds out of pocket but I had learned something of Mr. Baxter on the human side I deserved it never in my life have I worked to conciliate amuse and flatter a human being as I worked over my solicitor it appeared that he got therefore I was an enthusiastic beginner anxious to learn twice I invaded his office with a bag Maloud lent it full of the spellings needed in the detestable game and a vocabulary to match the third time the I spoke and Mr. Baxter took me to his links quite 10 miles off we're in a maze of tramway lines railroads and nursery maze we sculpt our divoted way round nine holes like barges plunging through head seas he played vile and had never expected to meet anyone worse but as he realized my form I think he began to like me before he took me in hand by the two hours together after a fortnight he could give me no more than a stroke a hole and when with this allowance I once managed to beat him by one he was honestly glad and assured me that I should be a golfer if I stuck to it I was sticking to it for my own ends but now and again my conscience pricked me for the man was a nice man between games he supplied me with odd pieces of evidence such as that he had known the Moultriez all his life being their cousin and that Miss Mary the eldest was an unforgiving woman who would never let bygones be I naturally wondered what she might have against him and somehow connected him unfavorably with mad agnes people ought to forgive and forget he volunteered one day between rounds especially where in the nature of things they can't be sure of their deductions don't you think so it all depends on the nature of the evidence on which one forms one's judgment I answered nonsense he cried I'm lawyer enough to know that there's nothing in the world so misleading as circumstantial evidence never was why have you ever seen men hanged on it hanged people have been supposed to be eternally lost on it his face turned gray again I don't know how it is with you but my conservation is that God must know he must things that seem on the face of him like murder or say suicide may appear different to God a that's what the murderer and the suicide can always hope I suppose I've expressed myself clumsily as usual the facts as God knows them may be different even after the most clenching evidence I've always said that both as a lawyer and a man but some people won't I don't want to judge them we'll say they can't believe it whereas I say there's always a working chance a certainty that the worst hasn't happened he stopped and cleared his throat now let's come on this time next week I shall be taking my holiday what links I asked carelessly while twins and a perembro later got out of our line of fire a potty little nine-hole affair at a hydro in the midlands my cousins stay there always will not but what the fourth and the seventh holes takes some doing you could manage it though he said encouragingly you're doing much better it's only your approach shots that are weak you're right I can't approach for nuts I shall go to peace as well you're away with no one to coach me I said warmfully I haven't taught you anything he said delighted with the compliment I owe all I've learned to you anyhow when will you come back look here he began I don't know your engagements but I have no one to play with that bury mills never have why couldn't you take a few days off and join me there I warn you it will be rather dull it's a throat and gout placed baths massage electricity and so forth but the fourth and the seventh holes really takes some doing I'm for the game I answered valiantly having well knowing that I hated every stroke and word of it that's the proper spirit as their lawyer I must ask you not to say anything to my cousins about Holmes Cross it upsets him always did but speaking as man to man it would be very pleasant for me if you could see your way too I saw it as soon as decency permitted and thanked him sincerely according to my now well-developed theory he had certainly misappropriated his aged cousin's monies under power of returning and had probably driven poor Agnes Moultrie out of her wits but I wish that he was not so gentle and good tempered and innocent eyed before I joined him at bury mills hydro I spent a night at Holmes Cross Miss Maloud had returned from her hydro and first we made very merry on the open lawn in the sunshine over the manners and customs of the English resorting to such places she knew dozens of hydros and warned me how to behave in them while Mr. Mrs. Maloud stood aside and adored her ah that's the way she always comes back to us he said pity it wears off so soon ain't it you ought to hear her sing with mirth thou pretty bird we had the house to face through the evening and there we neither laughed nor sung the gloom fell on us as we entered and did not shift till ten o'clock when we crawled out as it were from beneath it it has been bad this summer said Mrs. Maloud in a whisper after we realized that we were freed sometimes I think the house would get up and cry out it is so bad how have you forgotten what comes after the depression so then we waited about the small fire and the dead air in the room presently filled and pressed down upon us with the sensation but words are useless here as though some dumb and bound power were striving against gag and bond to deliver its soul of an articulate word it passed in a few minutes and I fell to thinking about Mr. Baxter's conscience and Agnes Moultrie gone mad in the well-lit bedroom that awaited me these reflections secured me a night during which I rediscovered how from purely mental causes a man can be physically sick but the sickness was bliss compared to my dreams when the bird's weight on my departure Maloud gave me a beautiful narwhal's horn much as a nurse gives up child's sweets for being brave as a dentist's there's no duplicate of it in the world he said else it would have come to old Max Maloud and he tucked it into the motor Miss Maloud on the far side of the car whispered have you found out anything Mr. Perseus I shook my head then I shall be chained to my rock all my life she went on only don't tell papa I suppose she was thinking of the young gentleman who specialized in South American rails for I noticed a ring on the third finger of her left hand I went straight from that house to Burry Mills Hydro Keen for the first time in my life on playing golf which is guaranteed to occupy the mind Baxter had taken me a room communicating with his own and after lunch introduced me to a tall horse-headed elderly lady have decided manners whom a white-haired maid pushed along in a bath chair through the park like grounds of the Hydro she was Miss Mary Mowtree and she coughed and cleared her throat just like Baxter she suffered she told me it was a Mowtree cast mark from some obscure form of chronic bronchitis complicated with spasm of the glottis and in a dead flat voice with a sunken eye that looked and saw not told me what washes gargles pastiles and inhalation had proved most beneficial from her I was passed on to her younger sister Miss Elizabeth a small and with a thing with twitching lips victim she told me to very much the same sort of throat but secretly devoted to another set of medicines when she went away with Baxter in the bath chair I fell across a major of the Indian army with gout in his glassy eyes and a stomach which he had taken all round the continent he laid everything before me and him I escaped only to be confided in by a matron with a tendency to follicular tonsillitis and eczema Baxter waited hand and foot on his cousins till five o'clock trying as I saw it to a tone for his treatment of the dead sister Miss Mary ordered him about like a dog I warned you it would be dull he said when we met in the smoking room it's tremendously interesting I said but how about a look around the links and luckily Dan always affects my eldest cousin I've got to buy her a new bronchitis kettle Arthur's broke her old one yesterday we slipped out to the chemist shop in the town and he bought a large glittering tin thing whose workings he explained I'm used to this sort of work I come up here pretty often he said I have the family throat too you're a good man I said a very good man he turned towards me in the evening light among the beaches and his face was changed to what it might have been a generation before you see he said huskily there was the youngest Agnes before she fell ill you know but she didn't like leaving her sisters never would he hurried on with his odd shaped load and left me among the ruins of my black theories the man with that face had done Agnes Mowtree no wrong we never played our game I was waked between two and three in the morning from my hygienic bed by Baxter in an ulster over orange and white pajamas which I should never have suspected from his character my cousin has had some sort of a seizure he said will you come I don't want to wake the doctor don't want to make a scandal quick so I came quickly and led by the white-haired authors in a jacket and petticoat entered a double bedded room reeking with steam and fryer's balsam the electrics were all on Miss Mary I knew her by her height was at the open window wrestling with Miss Elizabeth who gripped her around the knees Miss Mary's hand was at her own throat which was streaked with blood she's done it she's done it too Miss Elizabeth panted hold her help me oh I say women don't cut their throats Baxter whispered my god as she cut her throat the maid cried out and with no warning rolled over in a faint Baxter pushed her under the washbasins and leaped to hold the gaunt woman who crowed and whistled as she struggled toward the window he took her by the shoulder and she struck out wildly all right she's only cut her hand he said wet towel quick while I got that he pushed her backward her spring seemed almost as great as his I swabbed at her throat when I could and found no mark that helped him to control her a little Miss Elizabeth leaped back to bed wailing like a child tie up her hand somehow said Baxter don't let it drift about the place she he stepped on broken glass in his slippers she must have smashed a pain Miss Mary lurched towards the open window again dropped on her knees her head on the sill and lay quiet surrendering the cut hand to me what did she do Baxter turned towards Miss Elizabeth in the far bed she was going to throw herself out of the window was the answer I stopped her and sent Arthur's for you but we can never hold up our heads again Miss Mary writhed and fought for breath Baxter found a shawl which he threw over her shoulders nonsense said he that isn't like Mary but his face worked when he said it you wouldn't believe about Aggie John perhaps you will now said Miss Elizabeth I saw her do it and she's cut her throat too she hasn't I said it's only her hand Miss Mary suddenly broke from us with an indescribable grunt flew rather than ran to her sister's bed and there shook her as one furious ghoul girl would shake another no such thing she croaked how dare you think so you wicked little fool get into bed Mary said Baxter you'll catch it chill she obeyed but set up with the gray shawl round her lean shoulders glaring at her sister I'm better now she panted Arthur's let me sit out too long where's Arthur's the kettle never mind Arthur said Baxter you get the kettle I hasten to bring it from the side table now Mary as God sees you tell me what you've done his lips were dry and he could not moisten them with his tongue Miss Mary applied herself to the mouth of the kettle and between in draws of steam said the spasm came on just now while I was asleep I was nearly choking to death so I went to the window I've done it often before without waking anyone Bessie such an old mate about drafts I tell you I was choking to death I couldn't manage to catch and I nearly fell out that window opens too low I got my hand trying to save myself who is tidied up in this filthy handkerchief I wish you had had my throat Bessie I never was near or dying she scalded us all impartially while her sister from the bottom of the bed we heard a quivering voice as she did have they took her away oh I never could bear the sight of blood Arthur said Miss Mary you are unharley go away it is my belief that Arthur has crawled out on all fours but I was busy picking up broken glass from the carpet the Baxter seated by the side of the bed began to cross examine in a voice I scarcely recognized no one could for an instant have doubted the general rage of Miss Mary against her sister her cousin or her maid and that a doctor should have been called in for she did me the honor of calling me doctor it was the last drop she was choking with her throat had rushed through the window for air had near pitched out and catching at the window bars had cut her hand over and over she made this clear to the intent Baxter then she turned on her sister in tongue lashed her savagely you mustn't blame me Miss Bessie faulted at last you know what we think of night and day I'm coming to that said Baxter listen to me what you did Mary misled four people into thinking you you meant to do away with yourself isn't one suicide in the family enough oh god help him pity us you couldn't have believed that she cried the evidence was complete now don't you think Baxter's finger wagged under her nose can't you think that poor Aggie did the same thing at Holmescroft when she fell out of the window she had the same throat said Miss Elizabeth exactly the same symptoms don't you remember Mary which was her bedroom I asked the Baxter in an undertone over the South Miranda looking on to the tennis lawn I nearly fell out of that very window when I was at Holmescroft opening it to get some air the sill doesn't come much above your knees I said you hear that Mary Mary do you hear what this gentleman says won't you believe that what nearly happened to you must have happened to poor Aggie that night for God's sake for her sake Mary won't you believe there was a long silence while the steam kettle puffed if I could have proof if I could have proof said she and broken to most horrible tears Baxter motioned to me and I crept away to my room and lay awake to a morning thinking more especially of the dumb thing at Holmescroft which to explain itself I hated Miss Mary as perfectly as though I had known her for 20 years but I felt that alive or dead I should not like her to condemn me yet at midday when I saw Miss Mary in her bath chair Arthur's behind and Baxter Miss Elizabeth on either side in the park like grounds of the hydro I found it difficult to arrange my words now that you know all about it said Baxter aside after the first strangeness of our meeting was over it is only fair to tell you that my poor cousin did not die in Holmescroft at all she was dead when they found her under the window in the morning just dead under that labyrinth outside the window I asked for I suddenly remembered the crooked evil thing exactly she broke the tree and fallen but no death has ever taken place in the house so far as we are concerned you can make yourself quite easy on that point Mr. Maloud's extra thousand for what you call the clean bill of health was something toward my cousin's estate when we sold it was my duty as their lawyer to get it for them at any cost to my own feelings I know better than to argue when the English talk about their duty so I agreed with my solicitor their sister's death must have been a great blow to your cousins I went on the bath chair was behind me unspeakable Baxter whispered they brooded on it day and night no wonder if their theory of poor Aggie making a way with herself was correct she was eternally lost do you believe that she made away with herself no thank god never have and after what happened to Mary last night I see perfectly what happened to poor Aggie she had the family throat too by the way Mary thinks you are a doctor otherwise she wouldn't like your having been in her room very good is she convinced now about her sister's death she'd give anything to be able to believe it but she's a hard woman and brooding along certain lines makes one groovy I have sometimes been afraid of her reason on the religious side don't you know Elizabeth doesn't matter brain of a hand always had here Arthur's summon me to the bath chair and the ravaged face beneath its knitted shut them rulehood of Miss Mary Moultrie I need not remind you a hope of the seal of secrecy absolute secrecy in your profession she began thanks to my cousins and my sister's stupidity you have found out she blew her nose please don't excite her sir said Arthur's at the back but my dear miss Moultrie I only know what I've seen of course but it seems to me that what you thought was a tragedy in your sister's case turns out on your own evidence so to speak to have been an accident a dreadfully sad one but absolutely an accident do you believe that too she cried or are you only saying it to comfort me I believe it from the bottom of my heart come down to home's clock for an hour for half an hour and satisfy yourself of what you don't understand I see the house every day every night I'm always there in spirit waking or sleeping I couldn't face it in reality but you must I said if you go there in the spirit the greater need for you to go there in the flage go to your sister's room once more and see the window I nearly fell out of it myself it's it's awfully low and dangerous that would convince you I pleaded yet Aggie has slept in that room for years he interrupted you've slept in your room here for a long time haven't you but you nearly fell out of the window when you were choking that is true that is one thing true she nodded and I might have been killed as as perhaps Aggie was killed in that case your own sister and cousin and maid would have said you had committed suicide miss Moultrie come down to home's croft and go over the place just once you were lying she said quite quietly you don't want me to come down to see a window it is something else I warn you we are evangelicals we don't believe in prayers for the dead as the tree falls yes I dare say but you persist in thinking that your sister committed suicide no no I've always prayed that I might have misjudged her Arthur's at the bathroom spoke up oh miss Mary you would have hit from the first that poor miss Aggie had made away with herself and of course miss Bessie took the notion from you only master Mr. John Studer and and I've had taken my Bible if he was making away with yourself last night miss Mary leaned towards me one finger on my sleeve if going to homescroft kills me she said you will have the murder of a fellow creature on your conscience for all eternity I'll risk it I answered remembering what torment the mere reflection of her torments had cast on homescroft and remembering above all the dumb thing that filled the house with this desire to speak I felt that there might be worse things Baxter was amazed at the proposed visit but at a nod from that terrible woman went off to make arrangements then I sent the telegram to Maloud bidding him and his vacate homescroft for that afternoon miss Mary should be alone with her dead as I had been alone I expected untold trouble in transporting her but to do her justice the promise given for the journey she underwent it without murmur spasm or unnecessary word miss Bessie pressed in a corner by the window wept behind her veil and from time to time tried to take hold of her sister's hand Baxter wrapped himself in his newly found happiness as selfishly as a bridegroom for he sat still and smiled so long as I know that Aggie didn't make away with herself he explained I tell you frankly I don't care what happened she's as hard as a rock Mary always was she won't die we let her out onto the platform like a blind woman and so got her into the fly a half hour crawl to homescroft was the most racking experience of the day Maloud had obeyed my instructions there was no one visible in the house or the gardens and the front door stood open miss Mary rose from beside her sister stepped forth first and entered the hall come Bessie she cried I dare not I dare not come her voice had altered I felt Baxter start there's nothing to be afraid of good heavens the Baxter she's running up the stairs we better follow that's way below she's going to the room we heard the door of the bedroom I knew open and shut and we waited in the lemon colored hall heavy with the scent of flowers I've never been into it since it was so Baxter signed what a lovely restful place it is poor Aggie used to arrange the flowers restful I began but stopped of a sudden before I felt all over my bruised soul that Baxter was speaking truth it was a light spacious airy house full of the sense of well-being and peace above all things of peace I've entered into the dining room where the thoughtful Maloud's had left a small fire there was no terror there present or lurking and in the drawing room which for good reason we had never cared to enter the sun and the peace and the scent of the flowers work together as is fit in an inhabited house whenever turned to the hall Baxter was sweetly asleep on a couch looking most unlike a middle-aged solicitor who had spent a broken night with an exacting cousin there was ample time for me to review it all to felicitate myself upon my magnificent acumen barring some errors about Baxter as a thief and possibly a murderer before the door above opened and Baxter evidently a light sleeper sprang away I've had a heavenly little nap he said rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands like a child good lord that's not their step but it was I've never before been privileged to see the shadow turn backward on the dial the ears ripped bodily off poor human shoulders old sunken eyes filled and the light harsh lips moistened and human John Miss Mary called I know now Aggie didn't do it and she didn't do it I could miss Mary I did not think it wrong to say a prayer Miss Mary continued not for us so but for our peace then I was convinced then we got conviction the younger sister piped we've missed death poor Aggie John but I feel she knows now wherever she is she knows that we know she is guiltless yes she knows I felt it too said Miss Elizabeth I never doubted said John Baxter his face was beautiful at that hour not from the first never have you never offered me proof John now thank God it will not be the same anymore I can thank henceforth of Aggie without sorrow she tripped absolutely tripped across the hall what ideas these Jews have of arranging furniture she spied me behind a big cloison a vase I've seen the window she said remotely you took great risk in advising me to undertake such a journey however as it turns out I forgive you and I pray you may never know what mental anguish means Bessie look at this peculiar piano do you suppose doctor these people would offer one tea I miss mine I will go and see I said and explored Malod's new built servant's wing it was in the servants hall that I unearthed the Malod family bursting with anxiety tea for three quick I said if you ask me any questions now I shall have a fit so Mrs. Malod got it and I was butler amid murmured apologies from Baxter still smiling and self-absorbed and the cold disapproval of Miss Mary who thought the pattern of the china vulgar however she ate well and even asked me whether I would not like a cup of tea for myself they went away in the twilight the twilight that I had once feared they were going to a hotel in London to rest after the fatigues of the day and as their fly turned down the drive I capered on the doorstep with the all darkened house behind me then I heard the uncertain feet of the malods and bad them not to turn on the lights but to feel to feel what I had done for the shadow was gone with a dumb desire in the air they drew short but afterwards deeper breaths like bathers entering chill water separated one from the other moved about the hall tiptoe depth stairs raised down and then Miss Malod and I believe her mother though she denies this embrace me I know Malod did it was a disgrace believing to say we rioted through the houses to put it mountain we played a sort of blind man's buff along the darkest passages in the unlighted drawing room and little dining room calling cheerily to each other after each exploration that here and here and here the trouble had removed itself we came up to the bedroom mined for the night again and sat the women on the bed and we men on chairs drinking and blessed drafts of peace and comfort and cleanliness of soul while I told them my tail in full and received fresh praise thanks and blessings when the servants returned from their day's outing gave us a supper of cold fried fish Malod had sensed enough to open no wine we've been practically drunk since nightfall and grew incoherent on water and milk I like that baxter said Malod he's a sharp man the death wasn't in the house but he ran it pretty close ain't it and the joke of it is that he supposes I want to buy the place from you I said are you selling now for twice what I paid for it now said Malod I'll keep you in furs all your life but not our homescrawl no never our homescrawl said miss Malod we'll ask him here on Tuesday mama they squeezed each other's hands now tell me said mrs. Malod that tall one I saw out of the scurry window did she tell you she was always here in the spirit I hate her she made all this trouble it was not her house after she had sold it what do you think I suppose I answered she brooded over what she believed was her sister's suicide night and day she confessed she did and her thoughts being concentrated on this place they felt like a like a burning glass burning glass is good said Malod I said it was like a light of blackness turned on ours cried the girl twiddling her ring that must have been when the tall one thought worse about her sister in the house oh the poor aggy said mrs. Malod the poor aggy trying to tell everyone it was not so no wonder we felt something wished to say something theamax do you remember that night we need not remember anymore Malod interrupted it is not our trouble they have told each other now do you think thens mrs. Malod that those two the living ones were actually told something upstairs in your in the room I can't say at any rate they were made happy and they ate a big tea afterwards as your father says it is not our trouble any longer thank god amen something loud now the let us have some music after all these months with mirth that pretty bird ain't it you ought to hear that and in the half-lighted hall the sang an old english song that I had never heard before with mirth thou pretty bird rejoice thy makers praise enhance lift up thy shrill and pleasant voice thy god is high advanced thy food before he did provide and gives it enough fitting sigh wherewith be thou sufficed why should thou now unpleasant be thy wrath against god venting that he a little bird may be thy silly head tormenting because he may be not a man o peace he hath well fought thereon therewith be thou sufficed in section 15 section 16 of actions and reactions this is a liberox recording all liberox recordings are in the public domain for more information or to volunteer please visit liberox.org recording by phone actions and reactions by roger kippling the rabbis saw if thought can reach to heaven on heaven let it dwell for fear that thought be given like power to reach to hell for fear the desolation and darkness of thy mind perplex a habitation which thou has left behind let nothing linger after no whispering ghosts remain in wool or beam or rafter of any hate or pain cleanse and call home thy spirit deny her leaved cast on all thy heirs inherit the shadow of her past for think in all thy sadness what road our griefs may take whose brain reflect our madness or whom our terrors shake for think list any language by cause of thy distress the arrows of our anguish fly farther than we guess our lives our tears as water are spilled upon the ground god give us no man quarter yet god amines hath found though faith and hope have vanished and even love grows dim a means for by his banished be not expelled from him end of section 16 recording by phone end of actions and reactions by roger kippling