 Over life, SCP-5093 is an anomalous relationship between the force of an explosion in Drawing County, Wyoming and the efficiency of the New York City subway. The larger the yield of the explosion, the faster and smoother the subway will function for the day. June 27, 2016, explosive yield 0.05, no significant statistical rise in efficiency. However, researchers noted an unusually no number of complaints filed on the MTA's website. By 23rd, yield of two trains were ahead of schedule by several minutes. MTA staff took active action to maintain this, and the employee once pulled a suicidal individual away from the tracks. It is unclear whether SCP-5093 affected this decision. August 1, yield of 3.5, trains seemed to regularly defy reality and physics to reach destinations quickly. In one instance, a train began to simply teleport between stations, and then there's 292 lines of tests submitted, so we're just going to move on. SCP-2678 is an extra-dimensional space, solely accessible to those holding Catholic beliefs through a previously barred door in the basement of the Siena Cathedral in Siena, Italy. A metal placard beside the door reads, SCP Foundation Department of Adnormalities. Those who enter the doorway will emerge into a small, tarped outpost built around a freestanding exit. Inside the outpost is, a biomedical laboratory refrigerator, stocked with samples of blood and bone taken throughout SCP-2678. Several audio recorders, ranging from wax strip models to magnetic tape machines. A computer terminal requesting Foundation credentials. All attempts to access it have resulted in rejections for insufficient clearance. The score for a choral prelude titled Soul Gogata, the incomplete skeleton, hyoid, hip bone, and both forearms omission, of a pre-pubescent male, covered by a sheet on a steel table, caused death unknown. Covered by the SCP Foundation from plans retrieved, SCP-711 is a device assembled from several highly modified, high-energy physics equipment. Its primary function, in short, is capable of sending data into its past and of receiving data from its future. Transmission is strictly one way. Independent operation of the item is therefore causally impossible. Any message it receives will necessarily be sent at some point in its future. All SCP-711 messages predetermine their own existence and content. To date, exactly 17 messages have been received via SCP-711. The first string was received at 1,300 hours on f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing the day the item was created, and sent 4 minutes later. It consisted only of the character's test. With successive operations, signal quality is declined dramatically. Ah! SCP-5909 is a crustacean measuring an estimated 2.1 light-years in length, located 7.5 light-years from the solar system. Aside from its size, SCP-5909 possesses features congruent with those found in the Alaskan pink shrimp, genus Pandalus Eus. SCP-5909 has shown no signs of life or movement, remaining in a fixed position since its discovery. SCP-5909 was originally discovered by astronomer Julian Martin at Sault on May 20, 2020. The Foundation became aware of the discovery when Mr. Morton attempted to publish his findings. All evidence was confiscated and Mr. Morton was administered Class A amnestics. SCP-5535, previously known as Mateo Velez, is a Hispanic male born on July 5, 1986, who suffers from an anomalous version of Alien Hand Syndrome. The subject completely lacks control over its left arm, which is actively hostile toward the main body, as well as any surrounding individuals, despite not having sustained any damage to the corpus callisum, the posterior parietal cortex, the supplementary motor area, or the anterior cingulate cortex, which is usually the cause of AHS. SCP-5535 was arrested for the murder of its wife and the attempted murder of its child on July 13, 2016. The subject claimed that it lost control over its left hand, which had then choked its wife to death against its will. SCP-5535 was released by the police and delivered to a hospital. It was further detained by the Foundation after its anomalous brain chemistry was discovered by the hospital, following containment. SCP-5535 claimed that it had been possessed by some sort of incorporeal entity that took control of its arm. The liveable researcher Theron Sherman. And if you're watching this briefing, it's because you got lucky and get to supervise one of our very, very good boys. SCP-5530 is a male eastern goddess snake, approximately 6.7 meters long, that has had 48 legs from an eastern blue-tongue lizard, thomically grafted onto it. Its length and legs are its only anomalous attributes. Aside from its predilection to use these legs for locomotion and increased appetite, the anomaly behaves like a non-anomalous male eastern goddess snake. SCP-5530 was discovered in New York City Central Park on following reports of hysteria in the park and sightings of a massive centipede like lizard in the area. Mobile Task Force Lambda-12, co-named pest control, were dispatched to contain it. The anomaly was found pursuing rabbits on the western side of the park and restrained with minimal difficulty. SCP-5950 is a parasitic subspecies of Pacific flying squid, capable of fully integrating themselves into human hosts. Users of SCP-5950 use organic jet propulsion to enter a human host's rectum. After entering a host's anus, the SCP-5950 instance will position itself so its head will remain protruding from the host, functioning as the new visual center. The eight legs fuse to the host's rectum, at which time the SCP-5950 instance will secrete a complex toxin. This toxin puts the host in a semi-comatose paralytic state during the duration of the infestation. The SCP-5950 instance then attaches its two tentacles to the host's spinal cord and assumes full control of the body. SCP-5950 instances will consume food and water using the host's mouth, excreting waste from the same orifice. The SCP-5950's host will walk backward in a quadrupedal fashion, with their posterior held in an upwards orientation so that their anal eye is faced in the direction of motion. SCP-5805 is a Zenith brand AM radio, which has been playing an improvised small ensemble jazz since at least 1982. The branding and construction of the radio are consistent with manufacturing in the 1970s. There are otherwise no anomalous components to the device, aside from its ability to operate indefinitely and without an apparent source of power. SCP-5805 was initially discovered in 1982 at a campground in the Cascade Valley Park near Akron, Ohio, when a fangationing foundation researcher and his wife were unable to locate their assigned rental cabin. Unintentionally entering a portion of the park not intended for public use, a couple overheard jazz music and traced it to an unmarked cabin obscured by brush and overgrowth. The interior face of the cabin door contained a number of crude etchings. Several personal effects were also located inside of the cabin. SCP-5149 is a radio signal of unknown origin being received by LunarSight 34 every 24 hours. SCP-5149 consists of a short repeating message in UTF-8. Decryption of SCP-5149 is considered a class A priority, a team of cryptographers, linguists, and radio technicians are stationed at Lunar 34 for this purpose. Attempt 1 ran it through all modern language translation systems for similarities. Translation failed. Manipulated based through flips, rotations, reflections, and several stretches and compressions before putting it through previous suite of analyses. Translation failed. Attempt 2-49, Greenhorn suggested we run it through nonverbal languages screener. Poor guy thinks it'll really be that easy. Translation success! Within 0.5 seconds of the scanning, Screener produced an English translation of SCP-5149. It was realized that no individual on the project had recognized the transmission as a form of braille. With a cryptid message on SCP-5149, HELP! I CAN'T F***ING SEE! See what I tell ya, just because you got a PhD doesn't mean you want a dumbass. Ha ha ha ha ha. Alright staff, that ends our broadcast for today. Use your foundation in cryptid YouTube account to like, comment, subscribe, hit the bell, support our broadcasts at Patreon.com, so Site 42. See you guys in quarantine. Thank you for listening. Site 42 studios and its staff are funded by viewers like you. 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