 Okay, right. So welcome back We've the last one hour. We've actually spoken about Adultery we've looked at what scripture has given us as warnings about what the Consequences of adultery certain words of caution that we need to take into consideration We looked also of certain often how people fall into this to into a state of adultery in the next Hour what we're going to be looking at is What do we do? How do we help? Somebody who's fallen into this place of adultery this place of an immoral relationship or into unfaithfulness How do we help someone out from that? So I think let's look at it in two counts in one is of course for us personally if there have been Any of us maybe here or anyone listening who's in a struggle or in this sin Ways of knowing that there is hope and there is a way to come restored and hold Out of this and the second part of and also for those of us who may be ministering to people who may fall into sin and fall into adultery a way to help them and Give them hope as to how they can move from a Place of sin into a place of wholeness The second part is what we are also going to be looking at how What are some practical boundaries or Certain certain moral Aspects of how we need to take care of what what do we need to take care of practical measures on how we can place those Boundaries where we can fence ourselves from such from from getting into such such a struggle Is there any question if not I'm going to move forward Just the first five minutes of questions on anything that we addressed earlier. All right. Okay, so I Guess not so then we'll we'll keep going forward Sorry having a bad throat All right, so the this part of the Lesson what we're going to look into is what if people Husband or a wife has gone into sexual sin. What is something? What is it that we do? And how do we help them to work through this and often people who are engaged in this kind of an emotional relationship or an immoral relationship Find it extremely hard to step out to to find hope through this it's almost like they're in a deep pit and there isn't a way outside but We know through scripture. We know with the God that we serve that there is hope there is just through Through who Christ is and the freedom that he gives there is hope So the first and important thing to understand is To know that no matter Where we are or how much we have fallen There's nothing that is hard for the Lord for to bring back to restore to redeem And we see that as a principle so much in scripture, right? So no matter how let's let's look at David himself We see that at the best of his times he fell back you know He went back very many steps because of his adulterous relationship And the murder that ensued after that But we see that there's nothing that is not there for God to restore and to bring back and And no matter what we know that if we are in a place of true confession and repentance Turning to God Looking at him for help. He is able to take us off from there and we see that Scripture says it, you know when I called to you You have answered me when I've been troubled deep in my affliction You have saved me. You have rescued me out of the Myri clay and that Helps us see that with God's help we can come around we can recover we can come back strong to to the purposes and to things that God has for us Now as we begin to understand that something that we also need to Internalize is to understand the father's love and the father's love has been beautifully demonstrated In the story of the prodigal son, you know, we see how Once the prodigal son left home, you know took away the money it took away all his share Broke it all, you know spent it all finally Came to the deepest part of his life where he had nothing and he decides and he realizes That he can actually return back to his father. He can actually return back to his father who had enough and plenty so When you know, he probably Thought and that's what he says, right? I I'll at least I can at least You know be treated as a servant in my father's house So when he was in his mind, he was prepared that it would probably not be a very good reception It would be something that may be humiliating a sense of an embarrassment But on the converse we see how The father welcomed him with arms open wide so much so that he puts The best robe and he puts a ring and he creates a party and That's the love of the father that we see and that What what Jesus is doing by expressing that he paints the love and shows us, you know Just a bit of I mean we were able to see only a glimpse of it of the love God has for us That the father's love the heavenly father's love is Much stronger. It's greater. It's more intense than a human father's love and Romans tells us that you know nothing can separate us from the love of God that is in Christ So we can be assured that when we return to the father He is there with arms open with the best things to give us if we come back in repentance We also do know that it is only God who is the restorer of our souls He is the only one who is the overseer and the restorer of our souls We see that in Psalms 233. It says he is the restorer of our souls So he is the one who can Reshape and change our souls and make it whole once again So even if we have gone astray But when we have returned to him he is the Restorer because he is the one who oversees our soul So having assurance that when we return to him he will do What he is best at is which is to restore us and make us whole Now through what we do We also see that the power of the Holy Spirit is what turns things around for us in our lives We see that in Isaiah 61 3 where it says you know The the Holy Spirit is there to console those who mourn to give those To give beauty for ashes to give oil For joy oil of joy for mourning to give a garment of praying praise for those with the spirit of heaviness You know, there will be there will be gladness There will morning is off and dancing comes the sack lot is off and they will be clothed with with gladness again in Psalms 30 So we see that it's the power of the Holy Spirit that brings us out From the ashes to something that is beautiful. So it is his it's not our doing It's not our only our work, but it is his internal churning or refining that takes place as we repent and as we are willing to submit to him Now those who have those people, you know, who fall into adultery Feel that it's it's it is a way forward that is too intense that is too severe and You know, when you hear people who fall into adultery Speaking their desire to be able to come out of it I mean, I've heard people saying you know, I wish I could wake up in the morning and pretend as if none of this had happened Right the pain that they go through not just in the rejection in the in the problems and the consequences of the As a result of their adulterous relationship But also of the fact that they feel so Trapped like like being in a prison to be able to get away from the emotions and from the from the attachments that they've been feeling to the to the third person right, but Scripture shows us that you know when we keep our eyes on the Lord He's the one who picks us out from a trap as Sam 25 15 He's the one who picks us up from the track from a trap So he's the one who takes us away from captivity so that we can walk in freedom Now although it appears as a long long journey or a long place into recovery Every step matters. It is the initial steps that matter to You know towards it towards your destiny So when you're encouraging people to make that step into freedom The first one of the things that you would help them to see is to know that even though it looks long Even those look difficult taking one step at a time towards Choosing your freedom Now as you begin this journey, there are certain things that is Important for the person who has offended the offended person needs to do one the first thing Is to recognize that sin is sin the journey begins when you call sin sin you have to come to a place of not Justifying the action or excusing the sin saying that it is it's only because you know my my spouse didn't do this or didn't do that Or it's only because of or it isn't I mean it is not sin It's it's just a good friend. My colleague is a good friend The fact is you need to call a spade a spade you need to know that often Satan puts you through a deceptive Loop that makes you justify that your actions aren't wrong and these are Deceptions these are lies that that come about Shri Kumar, I'll just take your question. I'm just I'll just complete this bit Yeah, so So the first thing that that we need to do and if it is a personal journey to identify that any Intimacy outside of the marriage is to be called sin and we call it out of sin For those who we may be ministering to you may find a lot of people Hiding behind these lies and it's something that you may need to call out as a minister or as a pastor and say Sometimes it may be being a little bit more hard and saying You know you seem to be covering up on some things or there are certain excuses that that that That you're falling in we we need to bring out that sin is sin and Any sin that that it says all unrighteousness is sin and this is unrighteous Anything that keeps away from God's word is sin and we are answerable to God So the first point where the journey begins is is being able to call call out the sin to recognize that it is sin and Bring about an agreement. Yes. I am in a sinful place. Okay. Yes, Shri Kumar. We can take your question now Yeah, thank you pastor As you are Sorry, am I already? Yes. Yes, you are. Thank you. Thank you, pastor That's my question is as we were discussing on the like how the God has restored that relationship of David even though when he fallen into that sin and not only in adultery but also in murder But I just want to know in this present circumstances, there are a few cases which I know and Sometimes I was confused. I used to be confused that how to Like, you know, how to hand like not personally handle, but I used to think that how this can be like, you know Mr. Richard Where, you know, when some relationships goes Very deep and when the woman get pregnant and when she conceived And in such cases and this person is already having a having a like a having a married life and So in that cases if If one of this person wants to come out from this relationship Then now she's conceived now. You cannot say that you can about a child also And, you know, and how can we guide them? Because of this, you know, and that's in that which is now It's in a in a very very purposeful pitch. So how can we handle this case? Thank you pastor. Thanks a lot Yeah, absolutely. I think Shri Kumar What you bought out is is a reality This becomes extremely messy when When there is pregnancy involved when there is conception when there is a birth of a child in thing it becomes extremely messy Yes, we need to use a lot of wisdom as we deal with concerns like this The first and foremost thing we look at is one The the person Let's I'm okay. I'm just going to say maybe this is the man who is You know who's been adulterous in this relationship just for as an example for us to make it easier So the man of course needs to come to a place of repentance to be able to cut off the relationship And bring about restoration within his own family now that in itself is a process because with uh, you know, when it has moved into Uh a pregnancy coming as a result of it. It can get a lot more deeper and and difficult But the first thing we need to check to see is to ensure that the man Comes to a place of repentance and building on Himself as well as that relationship Uh the this because it scripture is very clear that The covenant relationship is the foremost important one. Okay We do understand that the other party in this Uh has has a lot lot of difficulties has a lot more things um to take care of but We need to ensure or help the person the the third party to come to a place of Living through those consequences um, so it it is you know establishing Uh establishing her emotional health finding out ways of maybe finding support for this person So that they can be taken care of yes, we we do not agree on uh on abortions No, and I would never recommend This in fact, I think I had a very similar example. I had a case like this where There was you know in an adulterous relationship It was not the man who came to me, but it was the woman the the Third person who came who was pregnant who came to us asking for what what could be done. So, uh It it the the church was very clear that uh, the the man involved Had to you know help we were he was helped to severe that relationship And to you know restore things with his wife and have nothing To do to completely severe cut off amputate this relationship. So he had nothing to do with this To do with this third party the third party. Yes, we had to find support within family Support of maybe extended organizations to protect to help to encourage You know, she came in in her third month of pregnancy asking for a decision of what she needed to do and You know, we she was counseled. She was she was helped. She was shown scripture But on her own She decided to about her child right I think within Within I think a month after after all, you know, there were there were these multiple settings and working through she decided to abort abort the child and Then, you know did not come back for help at all It is our responsibility or you know, and I think if it is if it is within a church situation, right? It's the responsibility to ensure that the man goes back to his family at that point of Uh, am I audible? Yes. Oh, okay. Okay. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. I think I lost my connection for for a minute. Yeah, so, um, so So, yeah, what I was trying to say was to ensure that the husband gets back to his home where you work on him And help restoration happen and for the woman in quest in the third party in quest in To get her to for help and support and whatever things she she may need by finding out resources of it So this is something that that I think as principal Is what we would definitely follow to to that that that cutting off really does need to happen Even if it may may mean that there are certain consequences that have come as a result like like maybe a child out of that Relief the cutting off is important in order to maintain first family Yes, Harrison Thank you pastor. Thanks Yes, Harrison. Thank you. Okay. Um Just like what my brother shared and what you've also explained It is something that when I look at it, it's more like, you know, you leave his car in the life of the woman I'm talking about the wife in question Now it is it is one thing, you know for the man of the husband, you know to come back in and see how You know, he builds, you know the home back or maybe restores, you know back The home to what it used to be Now like the one that you know pregnancy is involved and the child is not aborted It's a little bit difficult. It's a little bit Sensitive, you know for you to like, you know deal with, you know such situations You know and didn't maybe when the child is born the child is born The father is the father the mother is the mother Both thought party and the real wife, you know gets to Live with this, you know for the rest of their life So my question now is that in cases like this, you know, because I have a situation where The husband accused the wife of adultery And she was pregnant, but she stood on her ground, you know to say that I did not commit any adultery You are the only man That I know and this child belongs to you and the man, you know was not even Paying attention, you know, maybe Agreeing to what she was saying left the house And leaving her out all by herself And she not start pregnancy by herself until she give birth So it was more like, you know, the neighbors in the compound, you know Where the one that called him to say, oh your wife in has delivered And by the time, you know, he came to Visit He saw that the resemblance, you know of that baby was Nothing compared to him as in The resemblance was just Him So a lot of things were done and they found out that he was the father of that child And this has left a scar in the life of that woman that up to date She's not at peace with him So how do we help, you know, the women in this aspect, you know The women or who the one that is a victim of this situation Who is to bear all the consequences Not having anything to do with the situation Being faithful in the relationship and at the end of the day Such a thing, you know has happened to them. How do we Help them, you know, stay in such relationship and not feeling hot Thank you Thank you, Harrison So I think what Harrison is bringing about is when Someone has been offended Without any fault of this There is no fault That can be found in them but They equally or even more go through A pain and I think it's This could be even in similar situations where there is adultery that's happened where there is Someone who's offended and someone who's been the offender So whether there has been adultery that's actually taken place Or it has been An accusation of one It definitely causes a deep scar and And deep wounds So any spouse who has been Betrayed Definitely I'd either through, you know an allegation or or an actual Abandonment or adultery definitely goes through a lot of pain And they need Support and help through the time We may not be able to speed in The healing process We may not be able to push Them into healing fast And I think that sometimes is very inconsiderate Of us to demand That maybe because they are christians they should Come easy to a place of Acceptance or a place of Forgiveness now even as I'm saying that It is important that the offended person Needs to forgive There is no two ways about it because that is the very Fiber of christianity That even when we Have been outrageously sinful To god the father he Forgive us by sending his son Now that's the example we see so no matter how big the sin is how big the hurt is The offended person Should come to a place of forgiveness Right, but it may take time It may be a journey. It may be A season it's something that they need to progress into so We are looking finally At the offended being able to release forgiveness By taking maybe the time they need to work through The emotional struggles at the emotional knots that have taken place. It's definitely not easy And I and I see we've seen people walking through this journey some make it well Some often even choose to just end that relationship Which we know in in the case of an adultery it is permitted that you know if the if they are in an adulterous relationship there is They are permitted to For divorce and that's that's one of the Places where a divorce is permitted However, whatever they choose to do The offended person needs to release that forgiveness even though Whatever has happened even though there's been suspicion Even though there's been abuse. There's been emotional Hurt there's been abandonment. There's been shame. There's been humiliation Helping them to work towards Having that heart of love and without that offense Because as a believer We are all called to love as god loves And yes, the offended person does need this grace To live this up To a place where they can actually Come to a place of healing and wholeness By discussion with with uh counselor The other thing that I would say is now in the case that Harrison you bought up Um a restoration and a reconciliation between the this this party the offended and the offender That is important Where the offender comes to a place of knowing that he's been come he's been He has wronged his wife Coming to a place of repentance to her asking her for forgiveness for the things he's put her through coming to a place of sharing Maybe of you know, it requires a lot of humility to come to a place to say hey I was wrong and that too in something as Grevious as this right it it comes to a place of humility but Healing like like like, you know, like we were we were talking about healing Or hope is always there knowing that when we can bring about these hurts to god and ask him To restore these wounds and hurts. It's a journey I and even as I'm saying it it looks maybe like a five minute thing But it's a journey that can often take months and years where both This husband and this wife needs to work together to be able to come to establishing trust once again To be able to establish that intimacy and closeness once again and that can happen only through Open communication You know open repentance confession Building a faith going through those emotional overwhelmed moments Living that together working with that together. So yes, it's a journey. It it is hard. It is difficult Uh, but nonetheless, I with the power of the holy spirit Nothing is impossible Yes, Harrison. I think you had a follow-up question Yeah, thank you. Um I feel like sharing some few things about my life experience And it will help it will help everyone of us that is here Because sometimes, you know, we shy away from it and You know, we're talking of other people but Us in a question one way or the other we must have gone through some of these things I remember the early stage of my marriage where my wife, you know, had to travel out and you know belly stayed, you know for Almost two years apart and I I committed adultery and My my faith, you know and My work with God was questioned and it's very important for us to realize that In as much as we need help We as the victim or whoever that is involved, you know needs to realize that he or she Has wronged It is very important for us to understand that we have a very Big role to play in the healing And I'm talking about, you know, whoever that must have committed adultery Because in as much as you go to the pastor and the pastor will quote all the bible passages Tell you everything that he needs to tell you when the mind is not made up When the mind of that person is not made up, you know to To ask for forgiveness Or to come up, you know to say that yes, I have done something that is wrong Healing will not take place And what I'm saying this is that When this thing happened, you know, it's more like, you know My my reputation was questioned. My work with God was questioned My faith was questioned and it troubled me and in as much as nobody has seen what I have done God has seen what I've done I know what I have done But I took a bold step I called my pastor He was the first person I called I called my pastor and I said I want to see He was like Harrison this one you want to see me. I hope all is right. I said all is well And I went to his house And I sat down and I said I have something to tell you And he was curious and he was unsure, you know to hear what I want to say And I opened my mouth to tell him that I have seen before God and I've seen before man This is what I have done He was very shocked Not shocked that I did it but shocked that I came to tell him Because it's quite difficult, you know, for us, you know to come up in and and say what we have done Then, you know, we just go, you know, we cover up, you know, what we have done And when I told him that I said I'm also willing, you know, to come before the church And also Confess And he told me that for the fact that I've come to him There's no need, you know, coming before the church, you know, to To say it We pray And when I went back home I called my wife And I did the same thing and I told her this is what I have done She was broken at first But for me, in order for My life to be restored And my home, you know, to be restored and not giving room for the devil to dominate I needed to do these things And when I told her I gave her some time, you know, to like, you know, reflect on it But for me, I needed to do the right thing I needed to confess it first because when you don't confess it, the devil will deal with you with it You know, it will haunt you If you're really a christen and you're and you really walk with God, it will haunt you And at the end of the day You know, we started healing One good thing that I heard from my wife is that Even the step that I've taken marvels her And today we are stronger than before We are more bonded than before We are more united than before And God's presence is always with us So what I'm sharing this is that this topic is very very important to know for a christen race Because this is one area that we don't want to give room for the devil to operate Because the truth is that when it happens, if you're not careful It could destroy a lot of things It will ruin your marriage, it will ruin your relationship, it will ruin your work with God And everything about you will be questioned So I believe, you know, by sharing this, you know, it will broaden our minds, you know, to To understand, you know, what it really means, you know, to work with God And what it means, you know, for us, you know, to stay away from sin Sin, you know, is just something that keeps us in the dark It makes us hide And when we start hiding You know, when we start hiding What this means is that everything that God has Proposed in a man's life Will be will be hanging Because one is that fear will be there, shame will be there You will not be confident, you know, to come before the public, you know, to say that this is the same that is that When your mind, you know, will prick you to say that Do you believe in what you're saying? So I think, you know, with this little Experience of mine It will help us, you know, to see reasons, you know, why We have, you know, where the the ones, you know, that are involved in this Should be able to like Play that major role because the truth is that When a man's mind is not made up, you know, to forgive, you know, to forgive or to ask for forgiveness That that problem or that situation or that Challenge, you know, will be Will be so difficult to deal with so that's just what I want to share. Thank you Thank you so much, Harrison Um, when you shared that, I mean, I think that's a testimony that you've shared And I think number one, um, you've taken that courage to share that it was not easy But thank you because I think that bless blesses us to know that We're a body where we help And where we stand by our brothers and sisters who fallen into sin Who's come out from it and we've seen, you know By you're just sharing it and by what you did the courage you took In confessing it to your pastor and to your wife in itself Uh, you know, gives us a way to know that the Lord's blessing has been Uh over you and we pray and we um, we ask the that the Lord just Gives you a double portion you and your wife a double portion of his grace And his unity together as you move move ahead. Thank you for sharing I'm sure it touched so many of us. I can hear so see so many Messages here. Thank you brother Harrison for doing that Thank you Right. So, uh, you know, just by his example, I think a lot of what I wanted to say Um is is is something that he said You know, one of the things that he spoke about is getting rid of the lies behind it And that's one way that the enemy hooks you in, you know, when You do not recognize sin for what it is and do not call it sin um you You hide behind the lies of the enemy that causes further deception that for the that causes further manipulation and that's what All that sin and get rid of that those lies and to also to ensure that we We need to be in a place of remorse Into a place of absolute repentance in a scripture says that godly sorrow produces repentance so if We know that restoration is on its way when there is godly sorrow and there is a repentance and that's exactly what uh, you know, Harrison was was sharing that that coming to a place of Recognizing that you have been you have wronged Not not just man, but you have wronged god and to come to a place of that godly sorrow Uh an important practical thing, you know, especially For those who may continue to be in in that relationship. Yes Coming to a place of coming in right In the in the right place with god Is something you need to do alongside What we call an amputation The only way that you deal with sin, you know as it talks about in matthew It says if your eye has caused you to sin gorge it out if your hand has caused you to sin cut it off So it says you need to cut off And deal with that sin And that could be in any form and that could even further have consequences You know, there are times that people who are in extra marital affairs You know in their workplaces Some way of severeing may be to change the job or to move away from that situation or you know resign that place Yes, there are going to be financial consequences. There are going to be you know reputation issues absolutely But if if that is followed if this cutting off happens like Harrison so rightly said The enemy doesn't have a foothold when when one continues to be in a place of sin Continues to Dabble with it, you know play a little with either just just a call just a message just a peek just a hello That itself Brings brings you back into that depth of sin. So it does require The recognition that you know you need to make the choice the person who has offended Is someone who needs to make the choice of getting this back, right? So breaking free from An affair or a relationship or an entanglement definitely requires that that cutting off that's Severeing off and it has to be done severely, you know, it cannot be done gradually It's not something that you know, you can do over the next few months. It it is painful It's something that has to be done like Like then and and now, you know and being able to reverse those those choices that Like I say, you know Interactions if it has been communications if it has been The job or if it has been a place of work or you know, wherever it is to be able to reverse those choices Change those choices because satan Definitely once he has a hold, you know, like I said in Ephesians 4 27 It says don't give the devil a foothold the minute there is a little bit that is that is given out You know, that's when he has The the whole of you, okay I want to quickly deal with With certain boundaries. We did talk about reconciliation And you know as as Harrison put forth that quest and we were speaking of how Reconciliation and healing is important. Yes The offended as well as the offender Needs the offended needs to come to a place of repentance Needs to come to a place of calling sin a sin Come to a place of working things out giving their spouse the time they may need to to recover to to come to a place of reconciliation and be willing to accept Whatever the consequence that may come as a result of that act, whereas the offended They need to be in a place where You know, they have the grace to to forgive to come to a place of releasing that forgive this And working on that. So these these steps aren't easy Sometimes they are a lot more painful just working together and discussing this I mean, I've seen how often things take a lot of time but ensuring that you know if Both the offender and the offended are in places are in Right right standing with God. We can see that it turns out beautiful like Harrison said it turns out beautiful The crisis tends to make you much stronger Much more faithful to each other you walk One one in one in one hand together and God reflects that healing and reconciliation Okay, so even if a couple has encountered this You know, there are times that they may go their separate ways and it is important that we continue to be loving and support And encourage both of them and help them to Live and pursue whatever purposes God has for their lives Maybe some things may not be come back to its original May not come back to what it was But God is still able to help and restore And redeem broken people to the best and the highest in him. Okay I just want to spend the next five quick minutes Just to just to go through certain moral boundaries that that you know A couple how do you safeguard your marriage? And this I think is helpful not just for us those of us who are in ministry But you know anyone who who are believers or those who aren't to really ensure how you keep your boundaries strong How do you discipline your way? In order to safeguard your marriage. So if you look at page 152 to 153 there are a lot of You know tips practical tips that are given and I'm just going to read through each of them and You know quick quick one-liners on each of them So the first it says is to be able to maintain your fulfillment within your own marriage Maintaining not just your sexual fulfillment Then your emotional fulfillment in marriage and one of the ways to to ensure that is there is to keep your marriage exciting to do good things to do fun things to Have now fun around each other to work things together And if at any point of time you see this as a concern You know take it as a measure on what you need to work at if you aren't satisfied Fulfilled in this area of your marriage do some door into Into into a temptation Okay, the next thing is don't do something you would not like your spouse to be doing right if it is maybe You know texting an old friend Maybe in the middle of the night and if you wouldn't want your husband to be doing or your wife to be doing that Don't do it yourself. You know Ensure that you keep the same standards that you're keeping for your for your spouse as well The third is avoid being away from your spouse for extended periods of time. You know we think Yeah, there may be times you're traveling frequently, but I think it's always helpful to not Be too long away from each other and to be to stay connected with your with your spouse at all times If you are working to ensure that you do not pair up with With with a colleague of an opposite sex for for for trips or for solo Business trips, you know avoid it or you know say that it is beyond it's not in your principles You know keeping some of these boundaries will be absolutely useful and helpful for you in the long run It may sound kinky to many people But when you do it, you know, it it not only establishes an example to others But it keeps you it refrains from you getting into any form of a temptation Okay refrain from going out alone taking drives with those of the opposite sex other than your spouse You know drops Shot drops to the bus stop or taking someone from the office to the work home From from home all of that the best it can be avoided be careful about your chatting your use of social media What are the messages that you send the emails that you send are your passwords all You know out for scrutiny scrutiny out for for others to see that's important to not doing things in You know on the slide. I would say cut off any kind of communication from unnecessary communication From people apart from work times that is needed or to the point, you know, maybe you may need to communicate to some Your team about something but to the point keep it short and that's be careful about be judicious about your interactions Next is to be able to guard your mind your thoughts your imagination your feelings and affections remember that You know, sometimes you may have thoughts Towards somebody arouse towards someone of the opposite sex. It's important to deal with it then and there Not allow it to brew and not allow it to simmer and boil But to deal with it then and they're taking it to god and prayer being able to come to a place of casting it out And consecrating it asking the lord for his spirit to cleanse your mind to be able to See the individual differently, you know to guard your mind to not to engage in in in those Thought the thoughts and those affections. The next is to be able to maintain your internal boundaries. It is to Being careful not to think of anybody else about your spouse. Now, this is something nobody can see This is all within the four. I mean the round in in your skull, right? But what you're doing is making a commitment to the lord that you will Will stay in those boundaries and and not allow these thoughts to creep in because everything starts with the thought Everything starts with things on the mind. Okay next is being able to speak positively about your spouse in your conversation with others avoid personal compliments or any You know flirtations with others not really making a mention about how they're looking or what You know what suits them avoid Avoiding those being careful in your interactions with the person that you may have had feelings to Sometimes yes, these these feelings do come come up But it makes absolute sense and I've seen a lot of people Thinking that if I go confess that I am feeling like this with that person, it may go away I think that's the biggest mistake one can make to not express your feelings or give any indications that you feel that way towards somebody Okay, it you're stepping into something that that's that's causing that's closing in those boundaries So don't be mistaken. You don't need to express those those thoughts to anybody Uh, yeah, next would be to yes staying away from pornography or anything that causes Sin in this area of sexuality Pornography in itself engaging in pornography can keep your mind Waiting to lurk on some on on the next temptation. So keeping away from pornography avoiding counseling those of the opposite sex avoiding Cussing personal problems or anything that may be emotional with someone Of the opposite sex this this this is the beginning of that intimacy Choose to discuss it with your spouse if if If that isn't possible Find someone who can help you with you know, maybe someone of No, someone of the same sex who can help to restore this emotional lack of emotional intimacy that you're you're finding Okay, being intentional about past relationships and cutting off those past relationships Establishing any other boundaries that may be specifically relevant to your situation I think it's important to evaluate yourself and see where it it takes courage to really look at To have a good look at what you are doing and how you interact, you know, it could be something in the thoughts It could be something in your words. It could be something of your feelings your emotions, but ensuring that you Really evaluate and establish those boundaries that may be very clear about About where your stance should be and of course if you are single Also to ensure that you establish these boundaries so that you will be fit and ready once you are married. All right Yes, I'm I'm through with this lesson. I know we've we've had a lot to discuss in this this chapter We've had excellent You know shareings Any question we just have you know way up time but just two minutes for anyone for any questions If not, we'll just close with a word of prayer Ask the lord for the protection of our marriages and our singles who may be here anybody any question Okay, let's just close with a word of prayer Heavenly father we thank you father for this institution of marriage Thank you for the way that you have designed it to be for one man for one woman To find all our fulfillment within this lord I commit every marriage represented here on this call and everyone lord who's hearing and listening to this Father we need your grace your mercy your protection over our marriages Lord just as we ask you father We pray that we will step in and guard our minds our thoughts our feelings Lord we will guard our Our very desires and our appetites father that we will seek to receive fulfillment from our own homes Seek to fulfillment from our own partners father Lord we come against every attack of the enemy in the area of our marriages lord, especially When it comes to our sexuality father We pray that you protect us lord even as we establish these boundaries give us the courage to call sin a sin Give us the courage to cut off everything lord that is against your word that is unrighteous in your sight father Give us lord the courage lord to to be willing lord to step into your grace father Lord we pray god for those of us who have fallen off the mark lord We repent lord we come with you lord with sorrow and repentance and ask god that you You revive us and you restore us lord if it takes any of us the courage To go back to our spouses and share with them no matter what the consequences may be Father may we lord start that process that journey of healing lord lord You have convicted us lord of our sin and when we come to you lord in us and when we come to you lord There is surely a blessing father. I pray lord for those who've been offended in this call father Those who've been offended lord lord your grace your mercy your love be poured out father So that the scars and the wounds that they feel lord will be healed in jesus name That they will begin to see hope that there is a living hope in you father That only you god can restore and reconcile us lord back to our original places father Lord i pray for the singles on this call even as they've heard father I pray that they would establish in their hearts that they would follow you with all their mind their soul and their spirit lord So that they could be strong examples strong witnesses to show forth your glory Thank you for lord that you make these difficult topics father Something that that that brings about a teaching for us yet lord that we need to protect ourselves through this Thank you heavenly father. We love you. We praise you I I bring each one of us hearing this prayer lord I pray that your miracle working power lord goes with them through this week May they see your miracles in every area of their lives in jesus name. I pray amen Amen God bless. Thank you God bless. Thank you. Thank you so much, ma'am. Thank you. Thank you. God bless