Co-Director/ Writer: Andrew Bancroft (Jelly Donut) Co-Director/ DP: Jason Ragosta Editor: Albert Lopez Starring: Daveed Diggs & Andrew Bancroft Yoga Instructor: Lucy Owen Yoga Goddess, female vocals: Audio Angel Yoga girls: Shaye Troha, Sarah Mitchell, Lauren Nagel, Helen Nesteruk, Leslie Waggoner, Nicole Socia, Julia Allison, Jalene Goodwin, Fhay Arceo, Amy Karle Props/Boner Wrangler: Sig Hafstrom Visual FX: Ty Bardi Song Audio: Luke Dillon, Nic DeMatteo Video Audio/Mixing: Dave Baker First AC/Gaffer: Juli Lopez Makeup: Margaret Caragan Sound on set: Wes Sneeringer Key Grip: Nick Sage Additional Thanks: PJ Koll, Genevieve McCarty, Tony Aldrich, GS&P, and hot Yogis everywhere
JELLY: Shit! I got a yoga boner Teacher? want to get up on her Students? I wanna tap these ladies on their backs in a happy baby
DIGGS: damn, I got a yoga stiffy... this situation's iffy if these new age chicks take a look at my dick stickin out, shit they gon hit me
JELLY: ooh, I want to do you women woo you outta your lulu lemon
DIGGS: Damn it, Janet! I cannot handle ya camel toe when ya land in camel
JELLY: Sasha, I don't mean to harass ya but i love yo ass-uh, when you do a vinyasa nasa-shavashna...
DIGGS: Uhh... that ain't a thing.
BOTH: Oouu! the way you bend like a pretzel it's hella sexual What my gonna DO? (whisper: I'm confused.) i want to get next to you can i interest you in a Yoga Boner-er-er-er?!
DIGGS: That's what we call the hook of the song... Where's Jelly?
JELLY: floatin with my third eye open hopin my third leg gets some gropin
INSTRUCTOR: picture yourself on a prana ocean
JELLY: keep talkin like that, i'll blow my load, hun
DIGGS: I can't believe this shit's in Oakland
JELLY: I can't believe my hips are open!
INSTRUCTOR: your inner-child will rise to meet us
JELLY: not to mention my inner pe-nus
DIGGS: i want a yoga hotty, one with a yoga body
JELLY: and she hasta be a jedi masta 'cause she talks like Yoda only sorta naughty
DIGGS: i'll give ya a spank holdin' plank
JELLY: i like your dolphin, you come here often?
DIGGS: bro, let me get my hands on those
JELLY: dude, hold up, that's child's pose
BOTH: cock block!
BOTH: Heh... What? Oouu! good goddess good gracious your taint is right where my face is Boo! (whisper: can i call you boo?) I will be a warrior for you I'll be a warrior too with my Yoga Boner-er-errrr!
JELLY: Hold up... why they all lookin at me Like the whole class is about ta slap me
DD: dude, you know what they say ya can't spell Namaste without most ah nasty so what up girl let's do this
JELLY: smoke some Buddha, ya sexy Buddhists.
DD: aren't you hippies mostly nudists?
ALL GIRLS: No...we were sent here by Shiva to destroy you.
BOTH: Ohh... you're even more sexy When you're snappin my neck I think you broke my nose You don't know what you do to me I'm bleeding profusely from my Yoga Boner-er-errrr!
JELLY: If this is chattar-WRONG-ah... i don't want to be right.
DIGGS: Girl, you don't love me. You just love my downward doggystyle