 Yep, Charlamagne to God. Andrew Schultz. We are the Brilliant Idiots podcast. Back for another week of Brilliant Idiotness. Schultz, how was your weekend? Yo, very good. Very good. How was yours, man? How was the show? I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you, man. The Roots picnic was dope, man. It looked like you got a bunch of people out. I guess. I mean, listen, but Philly's a cheat code for me, though. Oh, because you started radio. Not started, but when I got with Wendy and listen, I don't know if this has anything to do with it, but when I first started radio with Wendy, Philly was a huge market for Wendy. And then I did morning radio with Philly for seven, eight months before they fired me and got me to fuck up out of there. But I mean, I've always connected with Philly. Even when I was doing radio with Philly, I think I had the number two show in the morning at 18 to 34. Oh, wow. Yeah, so I mean, my morning radio show career definitely started in Philadelphia. Like, my radio career started in South Carolina. But my morning radio show career started in Philly. So Philly's dope. I never met a person from Philly that said they were offended. That is a goddamn good point. It's hard to offend Philly Delphi. That's not true. But she's from Lower Marion. You're right. She's from Lower Darby. Yeah, she's from Lower Darby. You're right. But the average Philadelphia that's going to boo Santa Claus is going to eat shit off the ground. Like, you can't say a word that's going to bother them. There's nothing that can actually bother them. They're a fantastic crowd. And you've got to go into Philly Humboldt. And that's why I say, if Philly fuck with you, you're a real, you're a fuck-winnable person. Yes. You know what I'm saying? Yes. Like, if Philly fuck, if Philly ain't about the bullshit. So it was interesting, you know, because I didn't. What'd it feel like being on stage again? This has probably been five years, seven years. I don't know. It's been a while. It's been a long time since I did the live podcast. And I didn't know what I was going to do. That's what everybody kept asking me. You know what I'm saying? It was like, what you going to do? I said, I'm going to go up there and talk. And they was like, who's going to be out there with you? They're like, is Andrew coming? I'm like, nah. Because it was just shawlaming the god. They're not used to that when they see podcasts. Like, when they say live podcast, they're expecting, OK, is it going to be brilliant? What is it going to be? It just said shawlaming the god. So what does that mean? So, you know, shows couldn't make it. So I hit up Jess. Like, yo, Jess, you want to pull up? And you guys had good rapport. It was fun. That's my girls. That's my partner. And then Simba, Simba was out there. Simba's my guy. Bro, I think it was Simba. Think it was Simba? I'm not exactly sure. I think it was Simba. He's in, I believe, a podcast that they're doing out of a barbershop. And he's talking about how. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's Matt Poffer. That's my expert opinion. OK, my expert opinion. And he's talking about how Jay-Z's whole thing that he's been selling for years is better than you. And he goes on this rant. I remember that. That is absolutely sensational. Like, we should play the rant. It's that good. Because he gets pushed back, and it becomes like a real argument amongst friends. Like, you know how, like, when the energy's high, you're arguing with friends or whatever like that. But it's punchline, punchline, punchline. It is fantastic. I saw it on Instagram. In the last 20 years, we've done a whole deal. In the last 20? Name. You can't name a group in the last 100. Name. Name. No. No. You got to be kidding me. That doesn't matter. No. No. 50? There's nobody. 50 sales televisions. OK. We talking about a nigga that's solely sales, I'm better than you. That's not all we're talking about. Nigga, I'm better than you. My wife better than you. The clothes are better than you. The businesses I'm a part of is better than you. I brought the next to Brooklyn, I'm better than you. I'm fucking with these motherfucking shoes on. I'm better than you. I don't feel like I'm better than you. I know every motherfucking thing you do is so better than you. What are we talking about? He's better than everybody. He's better. Niggas can't do that shit. This nigga went to the bar place and did these size. Nigga, I'm better than you. I didn't perform my best hits. What the fuck are you talking about? Nigga, I brought camera out, nigga. I don't even like this nigga. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm better than you, nigga. Stop talking to me. I'm better than you, nigga. I'm better than you, nigga. I'm better than you, nigga. I got title. I'm better than you, nigga. Beyonce dropping next year. I'm better than you, nigga. I linked up with NFL, Rihanna, before this year. I'm better than you, nigga. What are we talking about? What are we talking about, bro? Just hit the goat. Yeah, that's the fact. He's the goat. What the fuck? He's one of my favorite people to talk to. On and off it. He brought camera. He don't even like him like that. I do disagree with that take, though. Oh, God. Because Jay-Z has not just... First of all, he didn't sell on better than you. He is better than everybody, right? That's number one. But what Jay-Z sold is lifestyle and business acumen. That's what he sold since day one. Lifestyle and business acumen, the hustle. You know what I'm saying? From Can't Knock the Hustle. You know what I'm saying? That's what he sold you from day one. He was dope back then but you had to be a great to recognize it. That's why Biggie... That's why Biggie, hey, you would be. That's why he was Biggie's man. And that's why, you know, all the greats like Park and them mentioned him back then when he wasn't even the guy yet. You could just see him coming. He was better than everybody lyrically and he sold lifestyle and he sold business acumen. But I don't think he was selling better. I just think over time you started to see oh, he is better. Fair enough. I do think in hip-hop there is a competition like in many different forms of art. And part of the competition is who is the best. I got more money than you. I got more bitches than you. I got more cars than you, etc. It's not a way to have more or to be better in intricate ways. It's not only I have more money than you, it's like I got more art than you. You thought you had money and he's like, but do you have art? How many people have both? Think about that. In life, who's actually the best and has the success and money to match it up? In any field. I just love the angle. This is something I love that Lil Duvall does. In unique ways. So Lil Duvall, I see what you guys are all on yachts. I got this funky little seadoo boat thing that nobody has yet. I remember once I saw that this video of Lil Duvall walking the hotel and his luggage was following him, but he wasn't dragging the luggage. So he flexes in these super unique ways, which is like the super flex. Lil Duvall's shit is I'm more interested in you. Word up? No. I'm more interested. My view is going to be more interesting. My point of view is going to be more interesting. My vacation is going to be more interesting. My planes are going to be more interesting. He's unapologetically uniquely Duvall. And that's what I told somebody at the Rootspick that they asked me what is the key to... Everybody's basic compared to Duvall. That's right. If you're going on a vacation to a spot, he went there five years ago. But that's what he said. You know what basic really means? All y'all doing the same thing. The same thing. All y'all doing the same shit. I flex harder than you. He's one of those dudes. I love the fact that he's flexing art when everybody else is flexing watches. He's like, I was on watches, but now that y'all are on watches, I'm on Picasso. He makes everybody look basic and the fact that he's just lyrically better than everybody. You know what I'm saying? And being that he's lyrically better than everybody, he actually has the success he raps about. I didn't just buy a team. I moved it to my neighborhood. That's crazy. That is crazy right there. I didn't just buy the team. I moved it to my neighborhood. I moved it to Brooklyn. Goddamn. I don't want to have to drive to the game. That's what y'all do. Y'all drive to the game. Jay-Z is absolutely positive to lead a blue friend, man. But that's what you gotta do though. But and he don't take nothing for granted. That's the other thing. What does that mean? Meaning he's never wasted a bar. Right? So he's always with the success still trying to be the best in his craft. Even with the success. Oh, you're saying he didn't take brand like he doesn't get lazy. Never. Never. Whenever he drops an album, he's always trying to give the people what he's selling his motherfuckers because he's not afraid to grow. He's not stuck on the same shit. He was on 15, 20 years ago because if he was, he wouldn't be the Jay-Z we know now. Jay-Z we know now came later in life. Y'all do realize that, right? The Jay-Z with the art. You know what I'm saying? Once you say now, the second you say now I think you're speaking Chinese. Yo, did you see the last episode of Dave? Talk to me now. Oh my God. Spoiler alert. You have to watch the next episode. Even if you don't watch the northern episode watch the season finale of Dave with Brad Pitt and Drake. Man, that's one of the first let me give Dave his flowers before we go back and talk about the Rootspick and all that shit. Dave is absolutely positively one of the funniest shows that has ever graced television screens in any way, shape or form. Dave is one of those shows you watch and it's so good that you get jealous. Really? You're like, I need to do something that great. Bro, I knew Dave the show was good when Jack Harlow promoted his episode the exact same amount he promoted his own movie. Hilarious. By the way, hilarious episode with Jack Harlow. It's making fun of the Met Gala. That's what the whole episode is about. It's not about Jack, it's about man. When they put a gun to Brad Pitt and the girl goes say something to get something cancelled. Say something to get cancelled. Say something to get cancelled. And he goes, I don't do that. She goes, say something to Asian. Say something to Chinese. Did he do it? Oh, man. Oh my God. I was sitting there like, he's going to say, what's she going to do then? Tell me he said what y'all are going to do. No, he didn't say what y'all are going to do. That was good. I mean, he hit it. When I say he hit the Asian accent, he, I mean, deep Chinese. Did he do old school Chinese? I was like, nobody's watching Dave. Because there's no way this shit isn't hilarious to everybody. That's funny. That's a funny compliment. I was watching it like nobody else watches this. No, they got high viewership. I don't know. I don't be on Twitter no more. I can't say what it does. But it feels like it doesn't connect culturally. It's the funniest show on television. This is what I think is happening with Dave. I think Dave is having this massive moment amongst artsy and coastal folks. I don't know if it's permeated America. So it's similar to that show Girls on HBO. Remember with the fat girls. There's like, you have everybody in LA, New York was going, oh my God, this show is transformative. It's genius, whatever. And then everybody in between was like, I don't care about a bunch of white girls who can't figure it out in New York. You know what I mean? So I think everybody I've spoken to about Dave is like, this show is brilliant. It is fantastic. And you have to watch it. It's fantastic. But the people who are telling me to watch it are like, what is it? I think it's about the industry like kind of insiders and artists and other creatives. That's crazy because nothing about it is that like first of all, you know, I love. It's very industry though. It's very industry though. He's a rapper, but think about it's satirical about the industry. It's satirizing what a rapper is going through. It's kind of not like, think about this season. This season he's on tour. And that's why he's in Mississippi and he's in Georgia. He's in all of these places experiencing a whole new culture that he knows nothing about. This whole season is just literally him traveling the country, going to middle America, going to the south. And it's more so about those people. Matter of fact, I take that back. Even in the last episode, the last episode, the catalyst to the whole episode who makes the shit super funny who came out to LA to chase her dreams because she met Dickey and Dickey gave her one of those bullshit cliche shit like, you got to go chase your dreams and you got to go for it. That's funny. I'm telling you, everybody who I've spoken to who watches the show speaks about it in the way you've spoken about it. And it's dark gay humor. You know I love that. You know I love good dick jokes. Yo, I'm not going to lie. The gay jokes is getting kind of basic, bro. Too many people dick riding, bro. Too many people dick riding, bro. I'm just saying. Too many people dick riding. It's like, you know, we've been on this for a while. You know what I mean? It's like, now that it's cool and comfortable to make gay jokes, everybody want to do it. We was doing this when you got beat up. Yeah, you're right. We were doing dick talk when it wasn't popular to do dick talk, yo. Yo, people are calling us gay. Now they call you cool. That's right. We're a bunch of homosexuals. That's what we were for years. We bled. We bled. Out the asses. See y'all can have fun with your little, what would you do for a million dollars? We was doing it for a hundred thousand. And you know the other thing Dave does? You know the other thing Dave, what'd you say? We was hypothetically sucking dick for a hundred thousand. It's nice to get more than a hundred thousand. Me, maybe not you. You're not getting more than a hundred thousand. You're getting more than a hundred thousand. Nobody wants you to suck their dick. Oh, you're talking about actually sucking dick for a hundred thousand? Yeah, people would pay me, not you. No, I never got paid to suck it. I did it for fun now. Y'all say it. Y'all say it. I'm pregnant. Take that. Take that. Y'all are on our level. You know what I'm saying? Talk about it, be about it. Y'all ain't getting paid to suck dick. That's it. Straight as hell. Word up. Word up. You straight. Word up. Look out of here. Look out the window. Your window don't look like that. What's your window look like? Listen. The other thing about Dave that's so dope is the things he touches on culturally. Mental health. Social media. Like he does it in the most way, you know what I'm saying? Dave got the best comedy I've seen in like five years, y'all. The best part of the show is that he finds ways to actually insert a message without it being so like overhanded, preachy. That's the best part of the show. Gator is a great example of that, you know what I'm saying? Gator deals with depression in the show and bipolar even when they found out why he was a womanizer. You know what I mean? That shit was fan-fucking-tastic. You know what I mean? A Dave. I don't want to give too much. Go check out Dave. It's amazing. Go check out Dave, Andrew Santino's in that, Taco's in that, man. There's a lot of talented people in that and obviously Dave creating it. I'll go back to the root spin. I don't take anything for granted, you know what I'm saying? Because people don't have to fuck with you. You know what I mean? You just sold... How many seats? You just sold out Scotiabank in Toronto. Don't take that for granted. Never. People do not have to fuck with you and you don't realize that people fuck with you until they gotta pay for something and take time out of their day to show up where you are. The luckiest shit that I have I think in my career as a stand-up is I get a real metric for people fucking with me or not when I do the live shows because there's one thing you could create views from chaos. We could come here right now and like... Create noise. Talk shit about somebody and make drama and people will watch it but they might not fuck with you enough to get a babysitter. That's right. Or buy your book. To buy your book. Ooh, I like what you said, but that's hard. Go get a babysitter. Get a babysitter. You gotta hire a babysitter. I don't take that shit for granted at all. Neither do I. But I want to say thank you so much to Toronto. I really appreciate that. We put it out for presale literally today and in a few hours it was completely sold out. And that's... Five. That's crazy. They told us that they never see anything like that. That was the fastest sell-out that they've had. Congratulations. That is four for the comedy festival. I'm sure fucking The Weeknd and Drake and all these guys sell out in two seconds. But still, that was incredible. And I will say this. If there's young comics or even young performers watching it's like that's not a clip or two clips going viral or going on The Breakfast Club or going on Rogan. That's going to Toronto for 10 years. Work. And delivering a fucking great show for 10 years. Starting out at a venue, there's 100 people and every single time new material going back and investing in those people and they have a great tight-knit culture in Toronto. They have an identity in Toronto and they can tell... Places can tell if you care about the show that you're giving them and they speak to each other and everybody talks about it. And there's a difference. When you go back into those markets, they go, no, no, that show is worth it. We got to come back out. And that was a fucking amazing feeling, man. That's what I was trying to say about YouTube last week. YouTube is like... It's a digital... You should use social media and the internet as a digital billboard to promote the work you're doing in the world, in the real world. You know what I'm saying? And even when people talk about clips, right? Yeah, you put out clips. But what were those clips are you doing? Stand up. On stage. In front of people. Touching the people. You know what I'm saying? You're not sitting in your house. Nope. Talking to a bunch of people on the chat. Like, you're out there in the world. Like, that's what you have to do. Like, everything connects. All those dots connect. Because trust me, when you go out there and you want people to actually show up. In order to get to those next, next levels, you have to leave your house. Now, you can be cool with the money, right? Yep. And all of that. And not really knowing how, you know, not really knowing what your true heat is. Yeah. Some people are cool with that. Yeah. But I promise you, man, if you get a taste of that. Oh, it's different. You're going to want to go see. You want to go outside to see what's out there. Oh, 100%. You know what I'm saying? And you only get that through putting in real work. Yeah. Giving people value, man. Absolutely. Putting it on a fucking great show. And I cannot wait to... I mean, this is my first arena. And there's only two arenas that I've cared to do. Right? It's Scotiabank and Madison Square Garden. I've said that for a while. Maybe the Forum in LA, because LA has held me down as well from the beginning. But I remember from the beginning, I was going up to do shows in Toronto and it was brilliant idiots fans holding me down in Toronto, bro. Like the beginning, beginning. And I remember, I was like, yeah, I'm going to do that shit. I'm going to do that fucking Scotiabank. You prophesied it. You said it on stage. That's how I was on stage. I was like, that's how we were doing the Raptors play, man. Yeah, it was really fucking cool. But I think that's the takeaway for me. It's just like investing those cities. Like a lot of times people will be like, oh, I just want to play in these big cities. I just want to do that. Whatever. Toronto is a massive city, but sometimes even Americans will be like, oh, it's not in America or it's not in LA or something like that. It's like, you're missing the point here. You have... Who gives a fuck where's that? I'm saying if people fuck with you and invest in them, give them the great fucking show, like put money back into the show. There's 60,000 people in London, right? I know. Unbelievable. You think he gave a fuck that he not from there? No, he's probably honored to go see that. 60,000 people anywhere, gathered to see you. It's amazing. I bet you, I assume that he reinvests in the show. The bigger the show gets, don't do the bare-bones shit. Deliver a show. Yes. You're going to make money and you have to spend money to make that show different. That's what I'm so fucking excited about is, how do you feel this arena show and make that arena different than any other comedian has ever done? All right. How can you make that show different? How can you change it? How can you set a new expectation? Yeah, it's exciting, man. And it's the journey. I think that's the other thing that people buy into. They buy into your journey. Like when I'm on stage at the Roots picnic, there's people there quoting shit from... 10 years ago. 15 years ago. Like, literally. Shit that I forgot I said on Wendy. Shit that I said on the radio in Philly. There's people out there, the white dude that was drunk, like, y'all bought three of your books and you signed it. I thought he said the freshest John in Philly. Yeah. But he said, I signed it, the freshest jar of mayonnaise. Freshest jar of mayonnaise. I swear, I thought he was saying the freshest John in Philly. This guy shows up, lines up, buys your book, and you insult him. That's what he wanted! That's what he wanted! That's what he wanted! That's what he wanted! But these people, they're people up there holding up signs. Can I tell you a great name I thought of for a girl who gives great head or a guy who gives great head? No. I have a great name for it. Oh, what is it? You gotta call him Jaumarant. Jaumarant. That's good. That's a good name for a guy. For a guy or a girl? A guy. I mean, not you obviously, but another girl in your situation. Jaumarant. You got some great names when you're thinking about it though. Maurice Cheeks. Somebody with a fat ass. You know what I'm saying? Homie with a fat ass. Moe Cheeks. Moe Cheeks for short? I want Moe Cheeks. You're a straight dude. You're gonna turn somebody out. You call them little Rudy Gay. You're gonna gotta blow on your ass. Call him Aaron Jordan. This is crazy. Keep it going. What about a guy, Taylor, that gives you great head and it feels like your vibrator? Jalen Rose. Oh, shit. That's fine. That's fine. That was crazy. This is how I love a comedy. Dude. Oh man. I can't even keep up right now. How many of you just rattle off? That was crazy. On the spot or you had these? You had it, so that's great. I didn't know he was going here, man. Listen, thank you. What just happened right now? Thank you. I didn't even know I was lobbing. I thought I was dunking myself. I thought I was on a fast break. That was crazy. What else we got? Keep going. Dunking myself is crazy. What? Dunking yourself is crazy. Dunking yourself sound like masturbation. I thought it was giving yourself head. That could be it, though. Yeah. That Tim Duncan took. From the free throw line. That is from the free throw line. Everybody love being gay, yo. What would you do with it? Maybe that's— You know gay means fun. I'm telling you, I'm telling you. Gave me fun. Gave me fun. That's why they start calling. Happy, happy, happy. They're happy or whatever. Yeah, gave me is happy. No, I'm sick. What would you do with Giannis? Giannis? Yeah. The Greek freak. No, no, but like what would you do with it? How do you, how do you, how do you do what you're just doing? What do you mean? Like the game you were just playing, can you do it with Giannis? Nah, Giannis is kind of tough, man. What about Giannis entered a poop hole? He entered a poop hole? A poop hole? Giannis entered a poop hole? I didn't think of the poop hole. Giannis entered a poop hole. Giannis entered a poop hole. Giannis entered a poop hole. Thank you to everybody who sold out Toronto, though, and thank you to everybody who came to the Roots for the guy I really appreciate. Thank you. I saw what y'all did to accurately at that day. I was like, God damn it. And I saw, let me tell you something else. I seen some, there was some ops. No. There was some ops. I saw some, you think I didn't see you. I saw some ops lingering around. What'd you mean? I was like, oh, you thought you were catching me slipping. You thought you were catching me. Because somebody told me that when act, the way the stage is set up, like don't call me white girl, salute the moaner, don't call me white girl, she was on before me. And then it's like a 15 minute period after they get off. So that's when people leave the move or some people stick around or whatever, whatever. So somebody told me that that video that they put out of act wasn't all the way accurate. Because it was during like a gap. It was during a small gap. But I mean, act confirmed it was, you know what I mean? But I think he said that somebody, because somebody told me act had a crowd. My guys at the trap nerves, they was like, it was like act had a cool little crowd. I assume that that was hating. I assume somebody wanted, interesting. Yeah, he admitted it, but I thought somebody, and I even ended the show early. I was like, you ain't gonna leave me. No, Usher was coming on at 9.15. That was my running thank joke throughout the whole thing. Like I know we gotta get out here to go see Usher. So at the end, when they saw we was wrapping up and I saw people moving, I was like, all right, in the show. Joe, you about to get me out of this motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? All these motherfuckers out there, and then you video tape at everybody. Not even know more, hell no. I see what y'all the fuck y'all doing. The video would have been everybody walking away. Why are you still on stage? God damn, God damn, Lou. That's probably what they did to act though. I assume that they're trying, there are people invested in making it a look bad. No, act said he took it out. He said it. He said because Lil Uzi was on. You know what I'm saying? I mean, in Philly, Lil Uzi, of course. But I wanna, I know, go see this. One thing I did like about what act said in that video, his scream about talking about people not coming, was he said, now y'all done put a fire under me. Oh, to. And now I wanna show y'all. That I can do that. That I can draw a cry. And I remember us having a conversation after your show at Radio City. And I remember act saying to me like, man, I don't think nobody will ever, I don't think I could ever do something like this, have all of these people come see me. And I'm like, no, I think you could. You know what I'm saying? And I wanna challenge act to do that. He said he wants to do it before the year is over. I think you can do it and just curate the show. Like, give them a thing to go see. And you know what your people like. So have it at a venue that your people would feel comfortable at. Them chat niggas that you, have it at a venue where those people would feel comfortable at. You know what I'm saying? And yeah, show people, you could draw a cry. Cause the Roots Pickett ain't fair. Like even what they said on the tweet when they was like, yo, academic show and only sold eight tickets. That wasn't his show. It was the Roots Pickett. Yeah, don't you buy, you buy a ticket to all the events. So everybody's sharing the same group of people. Yes. So it is, it's a, one is a huge compliment that they're coming to the brilliant idiot show because there are probably other shows that have happened at the same time. That's fire. And that was cap. I remember Ak mentioning he wanted to get into stand up. Yo, I don't do that. No, I want everybody to try it. First of all, I have funny as shit. And I've been telling him, I was like, yo, just try it. Everybody funny until they gotta be funny. It takes time to get good at stand up. There's no question. But for you, I've always said this about you. You think like a stand up, your brain works like a stand up. You think in terms of bits. That's not saying the first time you do is gonna work but you will find, you are funny enough naturally and a good enough writer naturally that you're gonna figure out how to solve that problem. A lot of people going to stand up, they ain't even funny to start. It's the hardest thing to do on stage in entertainment. You by yourself going on that stage, one against 300, one against 3,000, one against 13,000, that shit is no joke. Don't do it unless you've been putting in the time. And Ak is already at a level to where he don't have the time to go out there and fuck up. So that's the other thing. It makes me talk. And I also think this about you. It's like, you're so famous that you can't go through the anonymity to get good at stand up. And Ak is gonna have that difficulty as well. It's like, anybody that's famous that then gets into stand up can't really afford to just spend two years bombing until they figure it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're gonna be able to sell out venues. You're gonna have people coming out to see you. So the expectations are gonna be so high. They're not looking at you as a person who just started stand up. They're looking at you as this hilarious person that they already laugh at and they already do your content. So it's a different level of expectation. Do you feel the same thing with TI? When he tried to stand up? Bro, I admire the fact that TI was like, I'm gonna bomb through this. Like, I'm gonna stay here, I'm gonna work on it, and I'm gonna keep doing it. A lot of people, do you know how easy it is for TI to get a crowd to switch? That's what I was saying, like. He's still out there. That's all? He's still out there, right? He's still out there. No, he is. I'm still doing the work. But do you guys think that he's go, people are going out there to see if he's funny or like they just like TI's fans? To me, it don't matter because within five minutes of that show starting, you're gonna know if you like that. There is justice in comedy, right? So it's like, whether they come out there to see him just because they see him, whether they come out to see him because they think that he's funny, whether they come out to see him because they love his music, doesn't matter. Within five minutes, you're either gonna like that show or not like that show. And he went through some tough fucking situations that a lot of people would go, yo, I'm out. Like, I don't wanna go through the depression of bomb. And again, when I know I could play one of these hits and the whole fucking crowd is gonna go crazy. I thought TI was out there getting his stand up chops up because I don't know why in my mind I thought he was auditioning, he was gonna audition for like the Red Fox role. Like when they do a biopic on Red Fox because for some reason I can see TI playing Red Fox. That's interesting. I feel like he's out there doing his stand up chops because that is like, like that role for TI would be the role that like wins him like an Oscar or some shit. I mean, low key, if you're gonna play Red, you need to be able to do stand up. You gotta, come on. You gotta be able to do stand up. Come on, come on, but no, don't do stand up. Everybody sit there after that. That was actually my, that was- Everybody try it one time. I would love it. You gotta try it. If you try it one time at the elite, you'll have so much more respect for it. I think a lot of people who've never been on stage, they've made people laugh before. So they think it's the same thing. I got gas like that. Everybody, oh, you should do stand up. You should do stand up. I say, you know what? I'm gonna host some comedy shows. So I'm gonna do these comedy shows. And we did it at the Scratch Factory and it sold out the weekend. We did it. Charlotte May and the Gods comedy show, whatever. I don't remember who. I think I had Damien Lemon on there. Shout out to Damien, yeah. You didn't do it? No. Damien, I think Damien, I forgot who I had on there, but I had a nice little lineup of people. And I remember going out there with that mic and I had like three or four jokes that I was going to rip. And I looked at that crowd and I said, you know what? I'm gonna grab this stool and sit down so y'all can never ever say Charlotte May was up here trying to do stand up. Because I knew. Did that joke bomb as bad then? No. That joke bomb. They laughed. They laughed because they knew I was dead serious. I wasn't joking. I didn't let none of them jokes fly. I sat my ass down and I said, hey man, thank y'all for coming out tonight. I really appreciate it. You were having a good time tonight, man. You know, and I bought the comedians on. No, you gotta try to get y'all. Bro, we went. You gotta try it. Do you remember when we went to Fox Woods for that show? I think I was doing a spot on it and then you were hosting it. Fox Woods. It was a Fox, it was up in Connecticut. I remember Connecticut. I remember, I know Foxwood, Casino. And I'd never seen anybody do less time hosting in my life. Bro, they, I think he was scheduled to do 15 minutes up top as the host, right? And I remember we'd be at him. 15 minutes. Yo, son, we're back in the room with Charlotte Maynes. 15 minutes. Charlotte maynes. He already starts talking to himself out of it. He goes, yeah, we'll do like, you guys do like 10, 15 minutes up top. And then Charlotte goes, he goes to me. He goes, he goes, he goes. Yeah, we gonna warm up real quick. I'll bring him right up. That's right. Yeah. Fuck you mean 15, you don't know 15 minutes. Bastard talks. I dare, let's do that. I dare you to go on stage for 15 minutes and just sit up there. Number one, just try to figure out something to talk about by yourself and try to make people laugh. Okay. But that's why I feel some of these streamers would be good at that. Cause they sit in a room and talk to themselves for mad long. It's different when it's a crowd of people looking at you with an expectation. But it must be entertaining enough cause they keep coming back. They said, no, I'm talking to a camera. I'm drunk. I'm having a good time in this air. I can do this all day. But when it's 100, if it's just 100 people staring at you like, what's up nigga? What's happening? You know what I'm saying? That shit is no joke. You kissed my ass. Stand up is the hardest thing to do on stage in the world. I don't give a fuck what y'all say. Listen, the more people say that, the better for me. I ain't gonna ever disagree with that. That's why you don't see everybody jumping into that shit. There's a lot of fields everybody jumps into. It's never stand up. You can't, the same way you can't play boxing. You can't play comedy. Yeah. You can't play boxing. You're not even playing boxing because your ass knocked the fuck out. You can't play comedy. You're gonna get bomb. You're gonna bomb on stage. Yeah. Okay? Salute to Pete Davidson though, man. What happened to Pete? He bombed us it? No. No. I'm gonna tell you, when Pete don't bomb, especially when he is just being Pete. Wait, what happened? Did you hear this shit, man? No, tell me. Play this Pete a call, Taylor. This is hilarious. I'm sincerely allergic to dogs. So I have to get a specific breed and only knowledge to catapult and those types of dogs. And my mom's fucking dog who was two years old died a week prior and we're all so sad. So I had to get a specific dog. So why don't you do your research before you fuck the people because you're a boring... And this message. There's nothing more disrespectful than to tell a bunch of people who hate animal products to suck your meat. That's facts, bro. God damn. That's facts, man. God damn. Yeah. And I still don't even really understand what that call was about. Did Pete put out a story? Oh yeah, Pete says the actor left a heated message Monday for the org senior VP of cruelty investigation. He got her name because it's a statement of TSE expressing Pete's collective disappointment and Pete buying a puppy at an NYC pet store instead of adopting from a shelter. Man, Pete, mind y'all fucking business. Yeah, nobody want to adopt a dog, girl. But does it matter if you buy from a pet store or adopt it? Yeah. This is big. But they make a really big deal, especially in LA. It's illegal. But the puppy in the store wants a home too. Yeah, but the idea is if you don't buy them at the store, then they'll stop breeding them. If you don't buy them at the store. They'll stop breeding them. Yeah, so if there's no market that people will stop breeding and then... If people stop buying a pair of sneakers, then the company will stop making it. Well, get better dogs at the shelter. They have to fly exotic dogs at the shelter. That's what I'm saying. You got your shelter dogs. They don't want that. There's no designer dogs. There's no designer dogs. The shelter's like the thrift store. Exactly. You know what I'm saying? We don't want no vintage dogs. That's what I mean, yo. I don't want to be a fucking designer dog. But what's crazy at LA? Like, the flex is having the weird-looking dog now. A proud-of-puppy. They have an ugly dog. Yeah, like, you see so many three-legged dogs without wonky-eyed dogs, it's like... Because they want to be able to be like, I ain't saying that. Yeah. I like a new dog. Like, I like a new one that's like... I want to design a dog, yo. Yeah, I want to design it. I want a proud-of-puppy. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? No, I am 100% supportive of that. That's what I would do. If I had one of them little stupid-looking dogs like Taylor... Yeah. I'd get the Prada logo. And then brand it. No, I'd post it. I'd stick it on them. Something permanent. It hurt a little bit. Peter would be mad at me. But imagine... You have the Prada logo on the side of the dog. Prada dog fire, bro. Okay. You know you can just get a leash and just put the Prada... Nah, nah, nah. I ain't a dog. I asked that. That's the dog-wearing problem. First of all, my dog also is the... My dog is the number one. Your dog just nutted all over the carpet. Shut up. My dog is the number one. Your dog needs some pussy. I know. Your dog do needs some pussy. He does need some pussy. We should have took a picture of that. Taylor's dog nutted all over the carpet. Repulsive. Repulsive. I'm not talking about... You saw it. It wasn't like... That shit was like a gallon of dog cum. It was foam. Yeah. And guess what Taylor did? I hate it. Slurp it. I hate it. I hate it. Yeah, with her bare hand. Like I said, God, damn Taylor from Philly. Disgusting. Jesus Christ. That's the only time we've ever thought you're from Philly. And she didn't wash her hands. I know. You did not wash your hands. You didn't wash your hands. Don't you lie. God is watching. You didn't wash your hands. You're a liar. I didn't wash it. I didn't go back. You're a liar. You just said a different thing. You said you went back to watch it. You never said you actually washed your hands, did you? You did not wash your hands after you picked up that canine cum. Well, he asked Tammy, she's more disgusted, because I saw when he was about to throw up one time, and I just caught it. Oh, come on, yo. Just have kids. Yo. The fuck is wrong with you? I wasn't thinking my child, though, so it wasn't a lie, but like. I got four. They ain't never catching me, though. Why? Jesus Christ. That's crazy right there, Taylor. You're a wild girl. What else we got, man? So that's disgusting. What else we got? Did you see? Oh, Travis Rudolph found not guilty. Let's go. Travis Rudolph found not guilty. We broke that case down for y'all a few weeks ago on Brilliant Idiots. We told y'all he was absolutely innocent. It was self-defense. He stood his ground. And now I hope that that young lady gets boo-koo charges throwing at her. She does have charges, right? Life. She gotta do life. She gotta do life. Word up. Absolutely. She gotta get life. Travis Rudolph found not guilty. Somebody is dead. Was charged with one kind of first-degree murder and three kinds of attempted first-degree murder in connection with the fatal shooting outside his home. What was the actual story I forgot? Remember the... She lied about... She said, yo, he's hitting me, ten of her brothers, and then they went there, and she said, yo, go shoot his shit up. And it was tragic that one of them died. Very tragic. Especially off of false pretense. That's right. That's horrible. He went to jail for the rest of her life. He's found not guilty. The sad part is, didn't his career get cut short and everything? I thought this was after. I didn't know. I didn't know if he's still... He's only 27. He's young. Yeah, but I don't think he was playing. He wasn't in the league. Got you. Got you. Got you. We'll salute to that young man, man. What else we got, Taylor? I mean, did you watch the Spider-Verse movie yet? I haven't seen it yet. Yo, we gotta talk about one thing, about Mermaid. What? You saw it? No, but this was funny, man. Like, yo, this is so woke, blah, blah, blah. And, like, they got a different race daughter. Like, and you were like, what the hell is going on here? Every daughter's a different race. It turns out that each of the daughters represent one of the seas. One of the seven seas. Yeah. Still don't make no fucking sense. So do they have one mom? Huh? Do they have one mom? Or did he have seven different moms? Maybe it's seven different moms. They don't explain none of that shit. All they say is that he got seven daughters that represent seven different seas and the mom is dead. Yeah. That shit is... But isn't that how fish procreate? Don't they just shoot their sperm into the ocean, I think? And then the eggs... Well, could they shoot it on laying out? No, but I'm saying... Oh, yeah, you're right. They're not actually fucking... Yeah, they're not fucking. Really? So... Oh, good point. So it makes sense. So we just don't know enough about fish. Or mermaids. Yeah, shout out to mermaids, bro. I didn't know that. For real, fish just shoot things. So, Dan, we could be in the water getting fish sperm and all. Oh, yeah. Like, we eat fish eggs because the eggs are out there, too. I mean, eating fish eggs is eating fish cum, right? This is just fucking... Nah, they not far enough. Get out of here. You sure they not fucking? No. What did you Google? Taylor Googled fish sex. How fish have sex? I did not know this. I mean, if you ask Jamaicans... Nah, they not fucking, bro. They side to side. Okay, what else we got? What else we got, Taylor? What's up with this weather, yo? Yeah. Can we talk about... Right now in New York, it's like, overcast as hell. There's all this smoke. I guess there's wildfires in Canada and all that smoke is coming down to New York. I don't know if we're in the last days or this is just how our shit is for our era, bro. Because there's some crazy shit fucking happening. What is going on right now? I don't fucking... I'm walking around with a mask like it's COVID on. They're saying that the air quality is bad. They're saying that if you got respiratory problems like lung disease... Stay inside. Or heart disease. Stay inside. They say if you're out for more than 25 hours, it's like smoking six packets of cigarettes. Chris Monroe thinks he's gonna die. So Chris Monroe is going through it, bro. He came through the elevator. He was like, huh! It's crazy out there. My line's acting up. I did see somebody on the corner today. I was like, boy, this is New York City. That motherfucker was giving a Broadway performance, bro. I'm like, what do you expect people to do, yo? Nobody knows what's going on. We're not paying you nothing. He was on the corner going crazy with the carpet. I mean, he was losing it on the corner in New York, yo. Everybody wants some sympathy, man. I thought if the air wasn't so bad, I'd have rolled a window down and said, knock it the fuck off, yo. You know what I'm saying? I really don't know what's going on in the sky, yo. I mean, yeah. Can this happen from a wildfire that far away? Yeah. That's crazy. Word? I think it's a tragedy, miss. You remember, I think it was last year or two years ago in Cali. Like they had all those wildfires in like northern Cali. I've been in Cali a bunch of times and they had wildfires and I ain't see this shit. Yeah, this is different, bro. And for it to be so far? I think it's a tarrage and miss. If you know the comic books, tarrage and miss is a dismiss that makes people inhuman. Inhuman is another form of like, it's not mutant, but it's called the inhumans. And the tarrage and miss is what makes them. I actually used the tarrage and miss when I wrote for Marvel, when I wrote one of my comics for Marvel, I used the tarrage and miss to give me super files. And I said, I said, the whole comic, the comic was about me coming out. Come on, bro. As a superhero. You know what I'm saying? Because I hadn't got the tarrage and miss, but I didn't tell nobody. You know what I'm saying? What was your superhero? He tried to tell us something, bro. Come on, he's like, you're gay, son. He just, he tried to say it, bro. Look what you made go back on that. Come on. Holy shit, Mateo kissing Mateo already. That's crazy. That is crazy. How you got to kiss him? Mateo Lane got a new special out on YouTube. Make sure you go check that right now. I miss Mateo. He was in our building. Hand plugs and heartbreak. Oh, come on, Mateo. It's supposed to be anal plugs and heartbreak, bro. Hand plugs, bro. Mateo, come on, man. He got the hair plugs, man. He does? He just got them, yeah. Mateo's always had a nice look. Now it's on a different level. Now it's on a different level. It's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mateo's my guy, man. He's great. You can tell he's working out crazy. He was on Elvis the Rancher. I missed him using the building. I didn't get to see him. Yeah, I didn't get to see him. So Alex said... Crazy Segway. Crazy Segway. Crazy Segway. Some people just start trends, bro. Alex says he's the originator, bro. Some kids just start trends, bro. So Drake got the yellow nail polish and Alex goes, I got to stop him now. Wow, Taylor. What? What you mean? What do you mean? Taylor, stop doing that to people. I don't tell them. You are really ass serious. What you don't like telling to you? Isn't that crazy? See what I'm saying? See what I'm saying? That's not right, Taylor. You know what I'm saying? That's not right. I'm not calling Drake fat. I'm not calling Drake fat. You said his hands are... Yeah, look at his hands. They look like little girls. That's not what you said. You look like little chubby nails. Stop doing that, Taylor. But I'm not chubby, though. I'm not chubby, though. Say something. Say something. No, I won't back down. No, I won't back down. No, I won't back down. No, I won't back down. No, I won't back down. No, I won't back down. No, I won't back down. No, I won't back down. I'm really having an alliance right here. You see that? He won't say anything bad about him. That's not what you're talking about. He praises me, though. She's making it so hard for him to not do that. I ain't saying nothing. I ain't saying nothing. I just take his whack. But we make promises. Don't fucking tip him. You are tempted. You know what I'm saying? He's throwing up out. You are tempted. You acted crazy right here. You know what I'm saying? She wants it. Can we talk about the nails, though? Can we talk about the nails? It seems like you keep asking for it. Can we talk about Alex's twin right now? Alex. This is what y'all doing all summer, Feroto? We've been on that. Wait, wait. You call Alex a bad bitch? I'll take that. I got a little tribal design. It's a tribal design. If guys want to paint their nails, fine. I just need to know why. It's the same reason why you wear what you wear. It's like... No, it's not. It's a different form of self-expression. This guy, he doesn't have pants that go all the way down. Why you gotta attack me, bro? We should not have it. We know what he's doing. He said it's a form of expression. So what are you saying? Nothing. I just like it. Don't you do stuff that you just like? But you said it's a form of expression. Yeah, I like the same way I'm rocking this jacket. Like this is... What are you saying? What are you expressing? What are you saying with this sweatsuit? I'm gay. All right. I'm just saying it. Alex, I have a question for you. Alex, if you was to break your nail... Son. Son. Come on, bro. Look how adorable he is. Come on, man. When you like to roll me... I look like a little dollar bill on a... You're gonna roll me up and stick me in your nose, wouldn't you, Alex? What? What? You'd like to do a line with me, wouldn't you, Alex? You'd like to take those little pretty nails of yours that are painted, roll me up, and just do a line with me, wouldn't you? I keep shooting, man. Bro, let me go like this. He turned it to the riddle all of a sudden. He's the riddle. It is crazy, but it looks good on you. It's the color. It's the money green. But I'm wearing this. I can tell you why I'm wearing this. I'm wearing this because it's Nipsey's The Marathon Overline. Oh, Nipsey. Oh, is that The Marathon? Yeah, it's The Marathon. That's why I wore Nipsey's chain today. These Nipsey shoes and everything. I felt like representing for Nipsey today. That's Nipsey? I always thought that was Farrakhan. No. Don't you have another one like that? Yeah, I have Elijah Muhammad, Malcolm X, Nipsey. Why don't you have any white guys? Why don't you have any white guys on your neck? I don't know. Why don't you let some white guys on your neck? Ew. Come on, dude. Hey, come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. Come on, man. Yo, would you cross that street? Charlotte, would you cross that street? Yeah, I'd walk backwards. He said this guy. I crossed it backwards. This guy? This guy is confirmed homosexual. This guy is confirmed homosexual, dude. It's Pride Month. We represent gay. For Pride Month, we're gay. For Pride Month, we're gay. No, we are gay for Pride Month. You're not gay for Pride Month. You're gay on not Pride Month. That's weird. The fact that he got his nails painted when he got on state property. State fucking property. You represent one of the hardest rap groups out of one of the hardest cities with yellow nails. I mean, the thing I really don't like about this... Go that range, go that range right there. You don't think his color is a little off, Alex? Like the yellow on a beige person? Yeah, I would choose yellow. I mean, I don't know. What color would you choose to really accentuate that fit? Charlotte, what you doing, son? You're the expert at this. I'm not the expert. I do what I like. What color do you think would look better? It's self-expression, bro. Alex, what color nail should I put on to go with this state property fit? I mean, if we be honest, I would match with, you know, the darker brown. You will put brown on your nails? Didn't I say that? Hold on, hold on. Y'all are dumb. Why? How you gonna know if you got doodle on your ass when you wiping if you got brown on your nails? Nah, you represent for Pride Month, man. What if you want to think of your man real quick? Now people don't know. Even making a white boy uncomfortable. That's crazy, son. That right there was crazy, son. That right there was crazy. Like, you just kind of ringing the bell. Like, yo, is Jonathan home? I don't know. Word up. How do you choose your designs? I let my... I just want to know how I choose my designs. I let my nail tech design. Yo, come on, yo. I do. But what makes you this... Stop talking to me seriously. I'm trying to be serious, though. I guess her shots don't count. I'm really being serious. I just want to know why you're doing it. Because to me, it's... I told you already. You seem so black. I do feel threatened a little bit because I feel like... You being judgmental. Yeah, you being judgmental. You being judgmental. You call Drake fat. You're not calling that. Now you're calling out of his gay and I don't like... Bad bitch. That's what he is. That's what she called it. You and your soft girl era, aren't you? I am in my soft girl era. Okay. What's the difference? You're in your what? I'm in my soft girl era. What does that mean? That means that I'm, you know, staying away from all negativity. You know what I'm saying? I don't want no stress. You know what I mean? I'm staying away from all that. Why don't you be a girl through that? Black boy joys. I'm trying to get our shit. Relax. Why can't I be a... I'm a 50% girl. That's a fucking fact. That's a fucking fact. That's a fucking fact. That's a fucking fact. That's a good-ass point. That's a good-ass point. I'm a 50% woman, yo. That's a good-ass point. That's a physical truth. Bro, did you see what Justin Bieber's dad posted? That shit was one of the funniest things I ever seen. There's no reason. There's no reason. For no reason. Why didn't you use violence in the middle of pride for Justin Bieber's daddy? For pride month, he said, he goes, gay people, don't forget... don't forget to thank a straight person for making you. For making you. Wow. That shit's kind of a bar, though. Like, why? Stop it. He passed that Hillsong, though. Yo. Don't just think Bieber's dad... He went from one daddy to one dad. Don't just think Bieber's dad looks like a passed that Hillsong, yo. So, go back to that shit right now. Yes. Justin Bieber's dad. He does look like a passed Hillsong. Do they have a relationship? I don't know. Oh, no. Yo, he apologized. So, wait. Tell me about this Hillsong shit, the documentary. I only saw the first two episodes. And you thought it was amazing? I thought it was very interesting. I thought it was very interesting because I think that a lot of times people get so fanatical about religion and they get so fanatical about their religious leaders that they forget that these people are human. And what's so interesting to me about the church, so many people go to the church looking for grace, so many people go to the church looking for forgiveness, but when their spiritual leaders need that same grace and forgiveness, these people are so hurt by the fact that that person isn't the perfect human you thought they were. So, you get upset at them and want to shun them forever, which is not Christ-like in any way, shape or form. That is true. Which is not God-like in any way, shape or form. And so, I just find it interesting how people just put these people on these pedestals. And I don't know whose fault that is. I don't know if it's the pastor's fault or the congregation, you know? And that's why I like this new era of pastors. I love the Sarah Jakes Roberts. I love the Torrey Roberts. I love the Devon Franklin because they're not acting perfect. They're letting you know I have flaws and I've made mistakes, you know what I'm saying? And I'm trying to figure it out. I think Sarah Jakes Roberts is the most brilliant pastor out here because the way she's able to blend the intersectionalities of faith and God and mental health. Like, she's bringing all of this to the table because we all need work. Like, we all got healing that we need to do. And just because a person can preach a good word and the person might... To me, it's like this. That's the same person that motivated you. Like, all you people that's upset about Carl Lentz and, you know, mad about, you know, cheating on his wife or whatever. That's still the person that motivated you. That's still the person that poured into you and gave you a word that changed your life. That shouldn't change anything about you. You know what I'm saying? And it really shouldn't change your feelings about him. He's just a man. He's just a man who right now needs the grace that you wanted, that you wanted from God when you was going through your shit. And if you were to make the argument for the other side, for the people that are upset with them, what would you say? What would your argument there be? I understand being let down, but still understand that Carl is a man. So forgive him and forgive these religious leaders that have failed us while at the same time be disappointed by them because that's okay. Be let down by them, that's okay. Maybe don't look at them as this image of God and maybe lower your standards for them. That's how I look at it. I never look at a, I don't believe, what's that word they use? Deity? I hold religious, what does deity mean? Deity means I don't like people looking at their pastors and their spiritual leaders as deity. I hold them to a higher standard though. I hold pastors to a higher standard. I hold rabbis to a higher standard. I hold imams to a higher standard. And I think that they've chosen to hold themselves to a higher standard when they decide to take on that position. That's not to say that they're not going to fail. Make mistakes. Or make mistakes, of course not. But I don't think it's wrong for us to hold them to a higher position or hold them to a higher faith or hold them to more piousness. And this is maybe a bad example, but say if you have a personal trainer and you hired that guy because you like his physique and you're like, oh, I want a body like yours. And then he's like, this is what you have to do to have a body like mine. And then you find out he's on a bunch of steroids and shit like that. Wouldn't that taint all of the advice that he gave you? No, I tell you why, because that training... I think that's a good argument. That's a good argument. But that trainer's straight up lying to you. Where I don't think the pastor's lying to you. The pastor's just telling you some shit that... No, this is interesting. The pastor's just telling you some shit that he feels like you should know to better yourself. And he's probably trying his hardest to live by that shit too. The trainer's just straight up lying. The only difference I would say, I love the actual argument. The only difference I would say is that there aren't steroids that get you closer to heaven. Faith and the work is what gets you closer to heaven. But with weightlifting, there are these steroids that get you closer to the Z-quitches of heaven. So that's why there's a disingenuousness there. 100%. But there isn't a cheat code to heaven. But check this out. What if... So the things that he's saying you should do will ideally get you there. If he's not doing them, then he's not getting there. But the word doesn't come from him. The word comes from God. So he's just going, yo, this is what God says to do. Yeah, but then you question that word. Because it's like if the trainer said, hey, this is what I did to get this body. This is what he did to get the body. All the same workouts is what would get you there. But now you're like... It's like, do I believe it? What if the trainer's on? You've ever had to question it. But what if the trainer's on steroids? But he's still giving you workouts that get you in a shape? That's what I'm saying. But you can still have doubt about... Where are you going to go? Yeah. But what if you got diesel? Also, also... What if you got diesel based off his workouts? It's not about doubt where you're going to go when it comes to faith. It's you have doubt about how effective the faith is. I think that's what it is. It starts to chip away at the foundation and the effectiveness of faith in and of itself. If religious figures can't even follow the word of God and they're the ones that are supposed to be the most pious, then you're like, oh, is this shit not even worked it? But they tell us we all fall short. They tell us the flesh is weak. That's our expectations of religious leaders and maybe we need to bring those down. Maybe we need to reduce them. They're just men working on it. Exactly. I mean, listen, even if he's abusing his power, manipulating people, what do we say? That's up to God, right? That's for God to figure out. No, if he's not... Do you have to protect your parishioners? Is that the... Sure. Protect your flock. If he's doing things that he's hurting his congregation... Congregations. If he's hurting his congregation, of course, you got to go. All I'm simply saying is that shouldn't be enough for me to lose my faith or feel like the man who taught me all of these things, like these things still aren't valuable. You know what I'm saying? Feel however you want about the man but the things that man taught you, you can't deny that that shit changed your life. And that's why I do think the train of analogy because even if I'm on steroids, if I gave you actual exercises that benefited you and you got diesel and you got in shape, I did my job. Yeah. Regardless of what I was doing, I did my job. If it helped you. If it helped you, yeah, I see that argument too. I see the disappointment in the people that have followed him and they feel that down. And I also see the disappointment in the institution in the church which hasn't afforded him the same forgiveness that, you know, they've afforded many people. There's probably people who walked in that church that were like, yo, I used to hurt people. I used to steal from people. I used to do all these things and that church forgave them for those things. You're begging for forgiveness. Right. And I think it's the institution's fault because the institution of the church. They worried about the bottom line. Yeah. And it's like if you were worried about the bottom line, God's going to take care of you. If you really got faith in God, God's going to take care of you. But if you worried about this pastor and how it affects your image, this is assuming he didn't do anything criminal. If you did criminal things. Yeah. I didn't see the last two parts, y'all. Exactly. So the first two parts. So we don't know what else. I mean, what I saw was, you know, him cheating on his wife. Yeah. That's what I saw, you know. Yeah. Which is a crime in God's eyes. In God's eyes, you know. Yeah. And I think he, at that time, I don't remember what exactly happened with, you know, the mistress, but yeah. I just find it weird when people, a spiritual leader falls short and now you question your faith. Your faith has nothing to do with that. Yeah. Your faith has nothing to do with a spiritual leader falling short. Everything the spiritual leader told you about God and the Bible still holds up. Yeah. It still rings true. Yeah. You know, you just, he fell short. And that's what they say, oh, you're not practicing what you're preaching. Sure. But that don't mean that you, you don't have to. You can still practice what you've been taught. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's all. That's it. Let's do it. Let's do it. What we got? Guys, this episode has been brought to you by the one, the only, the bluest of chewest, the blue chew, same active ingredients inside, Viagra, Cialis, but this is the chewest one that we rock with, the one that we stay rock with. Okay. This is the greatest sex you're going to have in your life. Ladies, the best dick you've ever gotten is blue chew, breaking you down, sticking you up. Okay. Obviously with love and affection and passion. Okay. Blue chew is going to come to you for free. Okay, fellas? For free? All you got to do is pay $5 shipping. When you go to bluechew.com, you use the promo code idiots. Simple as that. Bluechew.com, promo code idiots. Go get your first month free. All you got to do is pay the $5 shipping. Now let's get back to the show. We got some church announcement show to see. Yo, I mean, the church announcement is, I guess, keep an eye to see if we're going to add another show. You know? But thank you so much. All the idiots out there. Thank you so much, asshole army. Everybody who gobbled up them tickets on the presale. That's incredible. So, but it's possible that we, we might add another show. So if we do get on that, you know, go check on my Instagram, Twitter, that kind of stuff and we'll give updates on that. But again, thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Cannot wait. My church announcement, man. Salute to my guy, Doug Melville. Doug Melville is going to be one of the next releases on Black Privilege Publishing. That's my book imprint through Simon and Schuster. He's dropping his book, Invisible Generals on November 7th. Okay. Invisible Generals is the amazing true story of America's first black generals, Benjamin O. Davis Sr. in Jr., a father and son who helped integrate the American military and create the famous Tuskegee Airmen. You know what I mean? Like I really, really, really want you to go check this book out, man. It takes a trip through three centuries, a journey from post-Civil War America to modern-day Europe. Doug uncovered the lives of these two great men who I just mentioned, Benjamin O. Davis Sr. in Jr. and they sacrificed so much for the country they believed in. Regardless of all the hardships they endured, man. So salute to my man, Doug Melville and make sure y'all go pre-order Invisible Generals right now on Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, wherever you buy books. It will be out November 7th. We've got two releases coming out on Black Privilege Publishing this year. One's actually coming out before November 7th and I cannot wait to announce that one as well. But salute to my guy, Doug Melville. What the fuck did Zion Williamson do? Why people texting me talking about Zion Williamson and John Morant? Let's off Carolina down. I think he got wifed up. What you mean? Oh yeah, he's having a baby. What's wrong with that? By a stripper. Having a baby by a stripper? I've already got another baby. Yeah. I think she's a porn star. Really? Look that up, Taylor. Let me see what the hell going on with my guy, Snacks. My star is upset because that was a side bitch. And then he got it. But I think the girl was the stripper though. So Zion Williamson announced life-changing personal news on Tuesday. Oh, he's expecting a baby girl with his partner, Akima. What's wrong with that? Yeah, but the point starts calling her out. He what? Hold on, I'm going to pull it out. I mean, he likes... I don't see what's going on. A girl who's talented, you know? I don't see what's going on. I asked my man what's going on. He just sent me a link to some... some shit that says guns and buns the South Carolina addiction store. That is a funny ass. I like scraps and snacks better. What do you think is happening with John Morant? Do you think the... you think the suspension is going to be 30 games? Oh, yeah, you guys broke the news about the toy gun. Break the news. That was funny. Wasn't I enjoying... I don't believe that. Oh, shit. I believe that story is capped like a capped gun that... You really? You believe that story? I don't know. I could believe them saying it. If that's the best thing you can come up with, everybody just needs to shut the fuck up. Really? On that side. I love... I'm always rooting for John Morant. I hope John Morant gets out of this situation. I hope that he grows up and realizes the position that he's in. But ain't nobody buying that. That's the toy gun. Yeah. Come on. Put it like this. Nothing about your behavior. Suggest. Said it was a toy gun. And we can just start the Claudia clip... Claudia Jordan clip here when she was on Breakfast Club. But... All right, y'all. I got some inside source stuff here with John Morant and the whole case with his gun and the car and all that. So, we all know he was already issued a warning and had a history of this. But my source would say that the relative in the car in the back seat had a toy gun in the car. The gun is not real. And was playing around with it, passed it over to John, and that got caught on the line. He had it in his hand. Now, the video was sent to Adam Silver, the NBA, allegedly. They have it and they said the gun looks extremely fake. Like, it's obviously a toy gun. But according to my source, allegedly, Adam Silver's still going to go through with the suspension, looking like it should be about 30 games. Even though they know it is a toy gun. I know they... I mean, it has an image and it's a private company. They can do what they want. But I just wanted to be known that it was not a real gun. And how do y'all feel about that? I love Job and Ran. I love his team. They all from South Carolina. So, you know, I'm going to always support them. But that's the best excuse y'all can come up with. If it was a toy gun, why not say that from the start? Why issue an apology for a toy gun? I agree. You issued an apology, John. I thought most of those toy guns, especially when they look like that, the replicas usually have an orange tip on the majority of them. I have no idea. But you issued an apology. If it was a toy gun, that's something you would have said immediately. If it was a toy gun, why did your man put the camera phone down when you started waving it? Why did he move the camera? Like, come on, y'all. Y'all got to come up with a better excuse. I said to my source, why would that he not be screaming that from the rooftop? Come on, man. And they were like, well, you know, the NBA has a copy of the video and they have proof that it's fake. Come on, Blake, man. Come on, y'all. You got to do better than that. You got to come up with... But what if it was a toy gun? That is... It's impossible. Nothing about their behavior says it was a toy gun. From the fact that when his man realized he put the gun up, he tried to move the camera from him. From the fact that John issued an apology after that. Come on, y'all. But even if it is a toy gun, it's a private company and they can decide what they want to do based on your ethics and moral, right? It's still a bad look. Come on. Stop. It's still a bad look. When you know you have that in your history in there, looking at you for that, why would you... No one can be around me with toy anything that I'm already in trouble for. Absolutely. Would you apologize for having a toy gun? No. Would your man pull the phone away and pull down the phone if he was just waving the toy gun? No. Wouldn't you, if it was a toy gun, be funny in the moment and say, come on, guys. There's a cabin when you squirt water at the cameras. Something? Come on, man. Nobody believes that. That can't be the, you know, story y'all running with. Somebody said that the NBA has more information that hasn't come to light just yet and they're making their decision based on that. Job and rant, they're gonna make an example out of it. They're gonna make an example. The fact that they're waiting until after the NBA finals is over, I mean, they don't want no distractions. It's big. That's right. They don't want nothing to distract the finals. Because if it was no suspension, it wouldn't distract the finals. No. If it was 10 games, 15 games, if it was 30 games, it'd be like, this is gonna be big, bro. No, it's gonna be big. Oh, wow. Big, big. What do you, what's your guess? Probably a season. Probably a season, Lope. Wow. I think, I think 30. You think 30? Yeah. I think they announced 30, bro. You think? I think they would announce 30. I don't think they're trying to distract from the finals, but I think 30 is legit. Yeah, I don't know, man. This is, I mean, just such a dumb way to lose all your money. Not all of it, but a lot of it. Emotional, lack of emotional intelligence. You know what I'm saying? Like, but listen, when you give, if you give somebody straight from the, the backwoods of South Carolina. $200 million. Come on, man. You know what I'm saying? Like, and there's no, there's no class for that. Yeah. There's no, there's no course for that. They don't teach you how to handle $200 million. But, but like I said before on the pod, the only reason I would get pushed back on job when we say stuff like that, because there's too many examples in the NBA of how to do it right. There's only been, I think, 500 NBA players in the course of history. Like, I saw somebody say that stat the other day. It's only been like 500 plus. I'm talking about the course of the end of the whole NBA in 75 years. Looked at that stat up. It's only been like 500. No, there's, there's more. I don't know. So think about it. It's only 12 on a team. Yeah. There's 28 teams. There's 30 teams. So like, just do the math. I was told it was only 500. I could be wrong. Or maybe it's 500 now. Yeah. I mean, it's 500. It's 500 now? I think. But it hasn't been a lot of NBA players in the history of life is what I'm saying. It's not a lot of them. Yeah. Like it's a very, very small few. 43, 4,300. 5,000. 4,300. Yeah. So maybe you heard 5,000. Maybe it was 5,000. So 4,300. Think about that though. Think about how small of a pool that is in 75 years. Amazing. So you have more than enough examples, especially in this modern era of how to do it right. Kevin Garnett from Stockin Line, he came straight out of high school. Chameleon Neal from Stockin Line. He came straight out of high school. You know what I'm saying? Kobe Bryant, God bless the day. He came straight out of high school. LeBron James came straight out of high school. You know what I mean? Like don't get me wrong. All of them had, you know, little issues here and there but nothing like this. Yeah. It's crazy. It's insane. Yeah. That's all. Oh, I got to see this. This is by the way, this is the worst title for Michael J. Fox will be ever. I can't believe that. What are you doing? That's like Taylor over there. That's what Taylor does. Yeah. That's what Taylor does. Yeah. That's what Taylor does. Yeah. That's what you do. That's what it is what you do. You say little shit knowing it's going to set off jokes. And then we don't say any jokes because we respect you and care about you. That's right. And then you say really mean things because you're a fucking dickhead asshole. Oh, shit. Jesus Christ. I'll take that. Whoa. What the fuck? What else we got Taylor? See, she likes the aggression. Yeah. Curse words are fine. Curse words are fine. Right. If you go to Philly, even though she's from Lower Darby, if you go to Philly, you understand Philly people. Yeah. Like they like abuse. They're an aggressive people that like abuse. They like dishing it. They like taking it. You know what I'm saying? They're like Black Panther when he had that suit on that could take whatever he would get hit. He'd absorb it and give it back. That's fucking Philly. Yes. That is Philly. Yes. What else we got Taylor? What happened with Boosie? God bless. I mean, nothing really. He was on the show. Oh. Yeah, Boosie came on. He was on Breakfast Club last week. He's mad about his son getting a haircut. Boosie is Boosie, man. He's so entertaining. He's highly, he's highly entertaining. He knows it. Coronel West announces he's running for president. What do you think? Oh, yeah, I wanted to get you a table. I like it. I like it. But, uh, Coronel West is somebody who I've always appreciated, you know, I love hearing him, regardless of what form or platform he's on. He's always very objective. Coronel West has criticized Barack Obama just as much as he's criticized the Donald Trump. Like, he cares about people. And when he says he's running for both truth and justice, I believe that. I truly, truly wholeheartedly believe him. What do you say to the people that are saying this almost guarantees the Republican whoever's running, they win. Yeah, they need a stronger candidate then, because- He's running independently, you're saying? Yeah, he's running independently. I don't think he'll be able to raise enough money to be a factor. He probably won't, you know? I think he's a big enough figure in himself. That he'll take away votes from the Democrats. Listen. And the races are so close where it's like- Once again. I don't think he's big enough. Maybe I'm wrong, but like, I don't think- But these elections are so narrow. That's what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? If he gets 30,000 votes, then it's okay. Yeah, I hear you. He's the same people who was worried about Kanye. Legit worried about Kanye. Yeah. Like legitimately. Like, I'm not telling you something I heard. I'm telling you something I know if I did hear it, but I got hurt if they told me. Like, they were legitimately worried about Kanye. So, yeah, I can see Cornell West being a formidable one, but it's not just Cornell West out there. You got Cornell running as an independent. You got Marianne Williamson running as a Democrat. You got Bobby Kennedy, Jr. And Biden isn't a super strong, he hasn't proven himself to be a super strong president, even with a lot of the stuff that he's gotten done. People don't fuck with Joe Biden like that. What do you think? What do you think happens? Like, who do we vote for? But I mean, like, anybody running Democratic, you know the DNC is gonna be like- Shut it down. If Biden wants to run again, they're gonna shut it down. I don't think it matters. So it's really the only people who can't affect it as somebody running as an independent. If any of those people get on the ballot, which they will, the Marianne Williamson of the world, Bobby Kennedy, Jr., they're gonna take away votes. Bobby Kennedy, Jr. is kind of a wild boy, huh? I don't know nothing about him. He's kind of a wild boy. Well, you know, sir, I haven't heard anything about him. Yeah, I think he's like, I think he's a wild boy. Why? He's like COVID as a hoax. He said that? I think he's that kind of wild boy. Allegedly. Allegedly. Yeah, I'm not mad at Cornell West running. I actually think, I think it's cool. And I think that, you know, even though he's not running as a Democrat, I think the DNC should have a primary because we need to see if President Biden's ideologies hold up now. But why would the Democrats allow the democratic process to happen within their party? Because people are going to... Yeah, you're not thinking straight. You're right, you're right. Why would they let the people decide who the president was gonna be? Democrats would never do that. But people hear the thing, if whether y'all do the primary or not. Sorry, it's so funny that like Democrats make this big deal about when Republicans do the gerrymandering. And it's like super delegates is gerrymandering. Only you don't need to move the districts around because you have a super delegate that counts for a thousand votes or 10,000 votes or whatever. It's the same thing. So they do all these things where they're like pointing, the Republicans almost, the Republicans obviously are gerrymandering to do, which is wrong as well. They're both wrong. But the idea that they would point fingers and be like, you see what they're doing? They're creating an unfair advantage and stripping your democratic process while they're doing the exact same thing. The worst thing ever that happened in America to politics is the internet came out and we could read free information that showed how bogus both sides are. And I think most Americans are just going, ugh, they both stink. Yep. That's exactly what it is. They both just stink. That's really the biggest thing. Everybody's tired of the two party system. They're over it. I think we're tired of the establishment. We're tired of the establishment, but that's why Trump was so effective, right? Yeah, and Bernie. He looked like, and Bernie, they came in anti-establishment. That's one of the things I do regret though. What is that? Not supporting Bernie. Like not actually like- Even if you did, he didn't want it enough. He wasn't really willing to- No, he wanted it. The DNC didn't want it to happen. But I'm saying he wasn't willing to call out the DNC. He wasn't willing to call out Hillary. He fell in line. He got his three houses in Maine and he was like, you know what? Communism sucks. I like capitalism. You don't think you want to get popped? You think that's what it was? You don't do that no more. You can pull up old tweets. Because it doesn't do that anymore. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's too much of a spotlight anymore. Pull up old tweets, guys. That's because nobody tests them. That's right. They might have some shit on him. That's why- So many other ways to take you out now? Bro, that's what Patrick Bedavit was saying. He had him on Flagering. He was like, yeah, they must have something on Bernie. I go, what do you mean? He goes, the fact that he didn't put up a fight at all. He's 97 years old. I mean, he was 92 when he ran. He liked talking that shit though. How much of a fight can he put up? I mean, we got a fight. And when Bernie starts talking shit, he looks like Doc Brown, trying to tell Marty why he can't get back to the future. He's like, he's not gonna have a fight. You don't take him serious when he starts popping that shit? Yeah. Let's do Ask Canadians, Mike. What we got, Mike, what do you think of the Superteams in the WNBA? The New York Liberty and the Las Vegas Aces? Aces look good. Asian, I'm going to definitely- Who cares? Repeat this shit. What the fuck? Love the WNBA. The Superteams in the WNBA. They are Superteams in the WNBA. Oh my God. Can't just park in Asian Wilson on the Asian. I'm telling you, you're gonna be on the WNBA's clip in about three years. You watch. When Angel Reese and Caitlyn Clark and all of them go to the WNBA, we're gonna be following that storyline like Magic and Bird. Can I just be an old head and have my dumb old person views? No. Because you like the WNBA. Let me be an old head with my dumb old person views. You liked the NCAA finals. You're a line if you say you did. That's not true. I didn't watch it. Really? I don't know what you was missing, bro. I know. You are committed to your misogyny, yo. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How do you know they identify as women, Charlotte May? Oh. The corner. I can't be a misogynist if you're not a misogynist. Charlotte, did you see the show, The Idol? No, I didn't watch it. Well, well, well. You gotta say it. Charlotte, it's great like that. Welcome to the Milk Factory. What, latinis? There's a set of nipples in that that I think are prosthetics. What do you mean? I think they put on prosthetic nipples on her tits. It's all about tits? Nah, not all about tits. No, but partially it's about tits and the nipples are really pointy and perfect and I think that they're made out of prosthetics. Really? I do think they took little banana bottoms and then I stuck them on. Who said he thought it? The weekends? No. But the weekend, the weekend. I'm not going to watch this. I can tell you. Bro, the weekend? I'm just not interested. He might be one of the best actors ever. Really? Are you able to stay focused with them fucking with them fucking milk jugs right in front of you and keep your, you know, shit together? Bro, I'm telling you, it's a different situation, Charlotte. Man, you never seen milk like this. But you watch Euphoria. Love Euphoria. It's the same maker of Euphoria. Really? Yes. Sam Levinson, genius. Milk connoisseur. I like Sam Levinson. Milk connoisseur and there's more milk coming on. Apparently there's a new milk queen that's coming on to the... And it's HBO, right? HBO, yeah. Is it a series or just a series? Yeah. Really? Yeah. You haven't heard about this? Not heard about it. I just didn't give a fuck. You should check it out. You need to start giving a fuck about tits. You fucking gay dick. No, he doesn't. Watch WNBA. Man, you watch WNBA? You might be gay, bro. You watch WNBA. Man. You don't care about titties. I got four daughters. Come on, bro. Come on with that, bro. You know. Come on. You got to come back to the titties, bro. No, bro. You used to love titties, bro. Remember back in the day? Come on, son. Back in the day, bro. I'd never been a brash man. Is that a white guy thing? I feel like I hear more white guys talking about titties. What, liking super fat tits? But I'm saying... No, bro. I hear more white guys talk about titties. Son, you got to try being white for a second. Try doing what I just did. Nobody does that. By the way, nobody does that. Yes, they do. Like, nobody actually does that to brash, bro. What? You never seen no fat pair of titties and just went... Nobody does that. That's a movie shit. That's porkies. I'm sure. I'm sure he did that. Come on. Nobody actually does that to brash, bro. Come on, son. You see a fat pair of titties and you go, put them on me. You never done that, Charlie? Jesus Christ. Come on. Come on, man. Your wife is watching this. Say what? Say what? Why are you bringing that up? She knows his heart. She knows his heart. Come on, fucking crazy. Throw the heavies, bro. I'm out the heavies, man. You don't think that's a white boy thing? What do you mean? Tits? Yeah, I feel like... Nobody likes tits, Taylor. No. You guys like tits. Asian guys like tits, too. They do, but I never hear black guys talk about tits as much as white guys talk about tits. Why do you think that is? Because we got the asses. Y'all don't. Are you thinking that white girls... You just said that white girls have better tits than black girls have. I didn't say that. You just said that. I didn't say that. I mean, we have the asses. Y'all don't have asses. I like pretty faces. But by process of elimination, you're trying to say that white girls got prettier titties. No. No. I'm just saying you're saying... I'm not saying that at all. I think you should take that back. Because I think that there are black women with absolutely beautiful tits. There are. Yes. Why would you say that? I don't understand why he said that. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. You just saw a bunch of beautiful titties. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. I never said that. You don't care about titties, too. I didn't say... I'm saying I hear more white men talk about it. That's it. Huh? Anyway. All I know when I see titties my face, I get a screw face when I see titties. When I see a big fat, fat face that happen. I can't even speak when I see titties. Charlotte, what do you think about this set right here? To your left? This is ridiculous. That's Daisy Taylor. What do you think? When we're talking practice bad habits, I'm a married man. Yeah, this is it. Wow. Go back to that topic about Clarissa Shields. Wait, what happened with Clarissa? Charlotte to her. Oh, I got to go, my guys. OK, come on. Give us one more. What we got? Let's end on one. What we got? You don't want to do that one? Charlotte and, yeah, Charlotte and Drew. Let's go to something motivational. Let's see. See, look at that. OVO Thirds, who is the biggest SC dumb-dumb between Zion and Ja. I have faith that snacks and scraps going to get it together, OK? Leave my guys alone. I have faith in both of them, all right? And I still don't even know what the fuck Zion actually did. OK, this is a good one. We can end on this one. Would you rather live in the bottom of the ocean? What the fuck is going on, man? Son. Son, just enjoy it. Just enjoy it. Yo, just enjoy. Enjoy us and what we're capable of. We're too rational. Come on, son. And the bottom of the ocean are in outer space. Which one? Honestly, I'd probably rather live in the bottom of the ocean. Yeah. Right. Well, because at least I'd be, you know. They both kind of suck. Yeah. How do you know that? You've never been to either. The bottom of the ocean is just dark and cold. Who told you that? I mean, they go down there. They have not even fucking just, they have not even navigated 75% of the ocean, y'all. So you think the ocean changes the first thing that you go down? I don't know what's down there. Alanis might be down there. Man, I don't want to make this argument for Charlemagne. But if you're getting close to the Earth's core, there's going to be heat in the Earth's core. So it's possible if you get to the bottom bottom that the water is actually starting to heat up. It's possible. And think about how much? Highly unlikely. But we don't know what's going on in space. We don't. But I think the ocean might be kind of fine. Because think about all of the species and creatures that we see every now and then pop up that come out the ocean. Because what if you jerk off in space and it doesn't go anywhere? It's just floating around the fucking space station and then randomly toss it? You make a fucking mess, right? Yeah. God damn, you can't even hide your fucking sperm. You can't even hide your nut. You got cheats around the space station. What are you doing? Only one way to clean it up. Son, this guy is strong. This is crazy. What the fuck? Charlotte, give them back their sport, bro. Give it back to them. Son. Give them back their sport, bro. White boy fun, lead, let them have it. The best. There is no color. There is no color, bro. There is no color. Gay is for everyone. It's freeing. Exactly. This is Pride Month. As always, if you listen to this podcast. And you're gay? If you listen to this podcast and you're gay, that's what's up. If you listen to this podcast and you're not gay, you need to get the fucking into the poop hole. If you listen to this podcast, you think we're smart, you think we're intelligent, you think we're brilliant, you're absolutely right. But if you think we're just a couple of gay idiots who don't really like dick, you're right too. It's the building in this podcast. Thank you for listening. Hey.