 In place of Fiverr McGee, usually heard at this time, we present a rebroadcast of the Abbot and Costello show with music by Freddie Rich and his orchestra and songs by Connie Haynes. And an answer to the many requests from new men and women in the armed forces of the United Nations, you'll hear that famous baseball routine starring Bud Abbott and Lou Costello. The program with I Know That You Know. How well have you been? And just look at your face. When did you get that black eye? I got that black eye in the restaurant down the street. How could you get a black eye in the restaurant? Oh, they had a sign over the counter that said, ladies, served here. Yes. So I ordered a blanc. Oh. You were injured in the fracas. Well, me in the fracas? Yeah. You're in no condition for that, Lou. Who's not in condition? You. Who is? At least they're in shape, so am I, Abbott. Jumping out of bed and taking a ice cold shower. Then I felt like punching a bag. Then I felt like skipping a rope. Then I... And what did you do? I stayed in bed until a feeling went away. Well, now that's very commendable. But you must be careful picking strawberries or you'll get poison ivy. No, I won't. I got a system. The minute I get up to Uncle Artie to wrap myself up and top paper bag, then I'm going to hang myself in the closet. But you can pick strawberries. That way. I know, but I can't get poison ivy. Eat it. You know, talking to you, Castella, is a waste of time. You know that, don't you? You're an imbecile. And I think you're an imbecile. And I say you're an imbecile. Now, just a minute, boys. What's all the arguing, Father? Now, you keep out of this, Niles. It's just because you're an imbecile. It's just between us, Niles. It's just between us, Imbecile. What do you expect to get along with people? How do you expect anyone to like you? You certainly are. Mrs. Niles will be here any second. And just watch what you say. Try to be decent for once. Okay, Evan. Oh, hey, quiet. Here she comes. Oh, I heard that remark, Castello. I didn't say anything, Mrs. Niles. Oh, that's right. I didn't say anything. Castello isn't going... I'm trying to be so nice. Absolutely, Mrs. Niles. He's not going to insult you. He's going to be a good boy. Aren't you, Lou? Yes, Mr. Rabbit. See that? Gee, Mrs. Niles, I sure am glad to see you. And by the by, can this be me talking? Did you ever collect the insurance for the accident you had? Why didn't I have an accident? Don't tell me you were born with that face. But I'm sorry. Go ahead. Wash my mouth out with soap. I said a bad thing. You chivalry. He had the most empty space in his head. Another had five square inches and another had ten square inches of empty space in his head. I'll bet you did see my head there. See it? That's where they were holding the conch. It's only more that time, darling. Oh, you're so refreshing. You're my little grapefruit. Just heard from a couple of old squirts. There you are. Now you've done it again, Castello. Now the only way you can square things is to buy a farewell present or a gift for the entire cast. Rabbit, don't talk so loud. That's what you'll have to do. I did that very thing this morning, Rabbit. I bought farewell presents for everybody on the show. I got some dandy presents in the department store. Why are you talking so low? I bought them in a basement. Stop whispering, Castello. What kind of presents did you get? I got a big box of candy for the boys in a band and Connie Haynes and Mr. and Mrs. Niles and everybody. Just look at it, Rabbit. Isn't that fine-looking candy? For heaven's sakes. I've never seen such big pieces of candy. What are they? Chocolate-covered bananas. Dummy, I should have known better but I trust you to buy presents for the cast. Now we're in a fine pickle. Where are we going to buy anything at this late hour? Oh, come in. Come in. Full-friend Kitzel, the salesman. I haven't seen you in a long distance. You're just the man I'm looking at and you're just the guy I'm looking at, Kitzel. You know, you showed me an electric razor two weeks ago and it's no good. Oh, Pispasch, no good. Oh, Pispasch, it's no good. Well, for you information, my little man, that was not an electricizer. That was a riveting machine. Hammer's my whiskers in and I have to fight... Never mind that, Castello. Look, have you got anything to sell us today, Mr. Kitzel? Have I got anything to sell? Yeah. Body boy, cheap, that's possible. Why, I don't know. No, today I'm in the mansion business. What was that called? I'm not lost. What are you in? I'm in the mansion business. The mansion business? Yes, anything you mention, I got it. Oh. I got a beautiful line of musical instruments. I got trombones, saxophones, a violin, a trumpet. Wait a minute. Have you got a pipe? Yes, and a couple of keys. No. Oh, you don't understand. A pipe is a long, skinny thing. Yes, yes, that's my thing. We don't want no musical instruments. What else have you got in your sample case? Wait a minute. Have you got a potato clock? A potato clock? Mm-hmm. Doesn't he talk at peculiar angles? Castello, don't be silly. What in heaven's name is a potato clock? Well, you wind it up when you go to bed, and it gets you up potato clock. I don't like it. That second, don't push me. What am I? A baby carriage. Look, Mr. Kitzel. We have no time for foolishness. What have you got to sell us now? Quick. What have I got to sell you? Why, in this little satchel, I got gold rings, old rings, earrings, earrings, golf rings, studlings, golf rings, and bubbling sports shoes, suede shoes, golf shoes, and look at you. Starks, starks, socks, and smart. Not to mention. Jacks, suits, swimsuits, blue suede shoes, top coat, sport coats, overcoats, and any coats, old ties, silk ties, home ties, rail ties, quirts, shirts, assorted, nerds. After all, you see some of these guys on the team I'd like to know. Well, I... If I'm gonna join your team... Introduce. I'd like to know what's in here. I'll introduce the boys. Do you suppose they do that? You tell me who's playing on your team. You know strangers may seem to give these ball players nowadays very peculiar names. You know, like Dizzy Dean, and Daffy... Daffy Dean. I'm your cousin. Who are you? Let's see, we have on the bags, we have who's on first, who's on third. That's what I want to find out. That's what I'm telling you. Go ahead. Who's on first? What's on second? I don't know who's on third. Are you the manager? Yes. You know the fellas' names? Well, I should. Well, who's on first? Yes. I mean the fellas' names. Who? The guy on first. Who? The first baseman. Who is on first? What are you asking me for? I'm not asking you. I'm telling you. Who is on first? I'm asking you who's on first. That's the man's name. That's who's name. Yes. Well, go ahead and tell me. Who? Who signed the contract? Well, naturally he signed it. Wouldn't be any good unless he signed it. Well, that's who signed it. Absolutely not. So who signed it? He did. He did. Oh, positively. When you pay off the first baseman every month, who gets the money? Every dollar of it. After all, I mean the man worked for it. He did. Yes. Who did? Absolutely. So who got the money? He did. Sometimes his wife comes down and collects it. Whose wife? Yes. Well, I'm trying to find out what's the guy's name on first baseman. Oh, no. He signed up. Hi. The play is around. I'm not changing anybody. I'm asking you, what's the fellas' name on first base? What's the fellas' name on second base? I'm not asking you who's on second base. Now, who's on first? Who's on first? That's right. Okay. He is the fellas' name on first base. Listen, what is the fellas' name on second base? I'm not asking you who's on second base. Who is on first? I don't know. He's on third. Now, we're not talking about it. That's entirely different. How did I get on third base? Well, you mentioned his name. If I mentioned a third base with his name, tell me who's playing third. Now, who's playing first? Never mind first. I don't know. What's the guy's name on third? What's on second? Who's on second? Who's on third? I don't know. He's on third. Third base again, man. That's you and I stay over there. Don't go off. Now, what is it you want on third base? Now, who's playing third base? Why do you insist on putting who on third base? Who am I putting on third base? Yes, but we don't want them there. You know what? His name belongs there. What belongs on second? I'm not asking you who's on second base. Who's on third? I don't know. Third base. Third base. Field is named. Why? I don't know. What's on first? What's on second? I don't know. Third base. Fourth. Oh, he's center field. It wouldn't be a fine team without a pitcher. The pitcher's name. Tamara. You don't want to tell me today? I'm telling you, man. Tomorrow. What time? What time tomorrow? You're going to tell me who's pitching. Now, listen, who is not pitching? I'll break your arm, you say? Who's on third base? I'd have it your own way. I want to know what's the pitcher's name. What's on second? I don't know. Third base. Today. So they tell me. Now, I'll get behind the plate. I'll do some pitching. Tamara's pitching on my team. Now when he puts the ball, me being a good pitcher, I want to throw Freddie out of first base. So I pick up the ball and throw it to the hole. Now that's the first thing you've said right. That's all you have to do. Throw it to first base. Now who's got it? That's right. If I throw the ball. Naturally. Who has it? Naturally. Naturally. So I pick up the ball and I throw it to naturally. I know, you know, you don't. You throw the ball to first base. Then who gets it? Naturally. That's different. Now tell her folks. So I pick up the ball and I throw it to naturally. You do nothing of the kind. I throw it to who? Naturally. That's what I'm saying. They're not saying that. Who gets it? Naturally. They'll tell them that. Who gets it? Naturally. They'll say it. Naturally. Now ask me. Who's got it? Naturally. All right. Tell them. Same as you. But now here's the man with the band, so kick it off, Bob.