 Hello, hello, everybody. Welcome to episode 13 of The Walk Podcast. If you're new here, my name is Sam. I post all things lifestyle travel face. This is kind of a video diary of my life essentially here on this channel, and I kind of just post whenever I feel like it with whatever's on my mind. This is going to be the last episode of The Walk for the year, and it's also going to be the last episode in general or the last video in general on this channel for the year. And I figured that there was only one way to kind of end the year on this channel, and it is by doing essentially a 2023 wrapped 2023 is a year that I will be telling my children about. It started as the most painful year where I was lost, where I didn't fully know who I was, very low self-esteem, I mean all the things I've talked about it before. I was down bad, and I went through some things. And 2023 very quickly became one of the most beautiful years of my life. It is the year where I learned who I am as an individual, who God says I am. I have boundaries that I actually put in place now. I have confidence. I don't regret anything because everything happens the way it's supposed to, and those things build your character and build you into the person that you are meant to become. At least that's what I believe anyway. So I just wanted to, and this video is very unscripted, okay? I normally plan every single one of these podcast episodes, even the Christmas one, I had notes. This one is extremely unplanned, and I would say that I'm nervous, but I just prayed before I sat down and filmed this video. I'm just kind of letting God take over here, but it's very unscripted. But I figured the best way to do this, to be the most authentic and to an extent vulnerable, would be to go through, it's not even a journal, it's I don't even know what it is. It has church notes, it has some aspects of journaling, it has a lot of scripture. So this, I will say right now, this episode is going to be heavily faith-based. There's a lot of scripture in here because that is what helped me build myself back into who I am, and even surpassed who I was before all the bad things happened earlier in the year. And so, I mean, I have to give credit to where credit's due, and that would be God. So a lot of faith stuff in here. So just putting that out there now. I haven't really looked through this much. We're just going to go through it. I'm not going to share everything, because some of it really is just church notes that I don't think really needs to be shared. Also, some of it is very personal, and I won't share anything that is too personal. But I've said it before, I truly, truly believe with my entire being, with my whole heart that God had me go through the things that I went through. One, to build me back up. He has to, I read my devotional actually was about it today. God has to break you before he can use you. And let me tell you, your girl was broken. Y'all know, especially those that have been here for a while, you know, I was down bad. And I really believe that I went through those things so that God can use me. And one of the ways I believe he is using me is through this YouTube platform and through this little The Walk series. I know it's not a real podcast. I know some of you like to point that out to me. It's not, it's not on Spotify yet, mark my words. It's not on anything yet other than YouTube, but I still call it my little podcast series, because that's kind of what it is to me. And I truly believe that I went through all that in order to help people. So how many times did I say that? Probably six times already. So I'm going to just go and I'm going to read through a lot of what I wrote, I think, and then I'm sure I will stop and kind of go over my, my thoughts, maybe what I was thinking about in the moment, we're really just going to, we're just going to go all in and we're going to wing it here. Okay. So I will say, this video is not totally going to be just about my breakup because I went through a lot more than just a breakup in 2023, although that was the big catalyst that started everything. And like really started my new journey, my new walk. It's funny how when something happens, you feel like that's like you're, you feel like your world is crumbling, like that's, it's the end of the world. And little did I know that that was actually the beginning of something beautiful. I just didn't know it yet. And so I bought this journal three days before my breakup. And this first journal entry was from my old church, the church that I grew up in. And I remember actually taking these notes, it was January 8th. And I remember this, this, this message, it was about distractions of the world and how things of the world can pull you away from your relationship with God, pull you away from the things that you're supposed to be doing, pull you away from the person God has called you to be in things like, you know, like, what did I write here? I don't want to read all of it because again, it's a lot. And also, I don't know how like relevant it is, but this is every, this is what started everything. It's about keeping your eyes on Jesus. When you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to something else. When you're saying yes to something in the world, you're saying no maybe to like for me, for example, use myself as an example, I would say yes to going out and drinking Saturday night until two, three a.m. And that would mean that I was saying no to going to church the next day. For example, when you say yes to one thing, you're saying no to something else. And it says whenever you fall off course, because we're none of us are perfect, we're going to fall all the time you pick yourself up and you throw yourself back in the race when needed. Distractions will hold you back from your Christian walk, blah, blah, blah, et cetera, et cetera. And it was just I was talking a lot about like, relationships that are not for you. excessive drinking is a very big distraction because when you're clouded with, you know, substances like alcohol, for example, it's very hard for God to speak to you, it's very hard for those thoughts to come through. And there's a scripture, I don't know what it is specifically, but it says basically that the more the friendlier you are with the world, the less close you're going to be to God. And that's just the way that it is. So anyway, that's what this message was basically about. And I remember I sat there and I just, I ate it all up. I wrote it all down. And this was the day I think I spoke about this in my testimony episode here on this channel. But this was the day where I knew that my life was going to change. And I knew that my ex was not of the same mentality. He didn't agree. And I knew that that was going to be a problem. But I didn't let myself face it. And sure enough, a couple days later, that relationship ended, which brings us to our next thing, January 18th. And I in the beginning, when I was like, still like down bad, you know, it was not, it was never about wanting the relationship back. It was never about wanting the person back. Literally, it never was. As soon as that relationship ended, I knew that it needed to end. But I was still, I had a lot of feelings of betrayal, a lot of feelings of hurt and all that. And so I started just writing things, thoughts, scriptures that I came across, and I would title it New Beginnings. Sort of says on top of this paper, New Beginnings, January 18th. And I wrote, and this was just like off the top of my head. I, because like I, I think things through by like writing them out. And so I came up with the five stages of heartbreak. The first one is shock and heartbreak. Two is accepting the truth. And that's the morning period. Stage three is when you start to get a little angry. Four is wanting to still talk about it over and over again, because it still makes it relevant in your brain. So it's almost like that relationship isn't completely gone because you still talk about it. So you're trying to keep it relevant. And then the fifth thing was knowing that healing isn't linear. And I have four verses here that I guess I came across at the time that were speaking to me. John 13, seven, you don't understand now what I am doing, but someday you will. I remember I saved that one the day of the breakup, but before the breakup happened. But it was the day of the breakup, the morning of Psalm 147 verses three through five. And I summarized it into He heals the wounds of every shattered heart. That was my wallpaper for a while at the time on my phone. Psalm 30 verse two. Oh Lord, I cried to you for help and you have healed me. Second Kings 20 verse five. I have heard your prayer and seen your tears and I will heal you. So those are all things that were, you know, giving me comfort. And then I wrote here, God's plans will always be greater and more beautiful than all of your disappointments, which is very true. By the way, I have learned it's indeed true. And then I wrote four songs here that were, I guess, getting me through at the time or like we're encouraging me. And the first one is everything you do by river valley ages. Same God by elevation worship, a thousand hallelujahs by Brooke Lagerwood and flowers by Miley Cyrus. That song came out like, I think like the day of my breakup or like a couple of days after. And that was like the running joke, like with me and my loved ones of like that was my anthem at the time, because like every word I was just like soaking it up. I was like, yes, and it made me feel all powerful. So shout out to Miley for that. Okay, this is another church note that I wouldn't really see necessary to read. Now we have new beginnings part two. Again, these are just my my miscellaneous thoughts and things that were speaking to me at the time. I'm sharing all of this really just one, because I want to summarize it and just leave it all leave this all in 2023, all that pain, all that hurt, it is ancient history. Now I used it, God used it for my benefit, and now it's done. And now it's going to stay in 2023. So that is the the reason of this like year wrap. But also I'm sharing it because maybe, you know, if some of you are going through things now, maybe this can help you now. So this is literally my healing journey from beginning to now. New beginnings part two. And this was there's no date on this, but I'm assuming it was around January 22. Philippians four verse six. Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything with thankful hearts, offer up your prayers and requests to God. Romans eight 18. This is a good one that really I was relying on at the time. The pain you have been feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming. Romans 826. I love Romans. It's such a good book. God understands the cries of our heart, even when they're too deep for words. Then I have three little quotes here. Again, no idea where they came from, but they're here. God removes to replace. The next one is one day you'll see why God made you wait. And the last one in our waiting, God is working. All very true statements. And this is a new beginnings part three. This is January 25, 2023. It says new beginnings plus other notes. So strange. Okay, but I'm so glad I have all this to look back. I will keep this journal forever. I don't see. I don't even know what this is. Oh, okay. I wrote down like the spiritual dress code. It's found in Ephesians, the book of Ephesians. And this was just like notes because I guess I wanted to memorize it. So that's where it talks about putting on your armor to go through to go through the day. So it's the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, shoes of the gospel of peace, the shield of faith, helmet of salvation, sword of the spirit and a prayerful heart. That's a lesson in and of itself. So we're not even going to talk about that. But if you're curious, it's in Ephesians six. Okay, I have some other quotes here. It says, you will be someone's best thing, but until then be the best for yourself. Very true. Next one is God knows your heart and he will provide the one. We may make a lot of plans, but the Lord will do what he has decided. And that's Proverbs 19 21. I actually just read that this morning. You can make your plans, but God's going to tell you what's actually going to happen. And this one was a big one. I have a star next to it says God's protection is removing someone from your life that he knew you'd never leave despite what they did. And that was me clearly, I never really shared the full story of what happened in my breakup. And I don't think I ever will not in full detail because that's just too much. And also it's ancient history at this point. But that was me at the time was that God will protect you and he will do what you are not strong enough to do yourself. And I am living proof of that. And that's not just in relationships. That's in literally every aspect of your life. Why is my phone, my phone is blowing up right now. New beginning is part four. Wow, I was really just on a roll here. Okay. This seems like it's just a bunch of like quotes. So I wrote, you can't start the next chapter if you keep reading the last one. That's true. So I was trying to get myself to stop thinking about what happened and just look forward. This one's a good one. It's a quote by John Piper. And it says, occasionally weep over the life you hoped it would be, grieve the losses, then wash your face, trust God and embrace the life you have. And something like a breakup, you go through that and you essentially have to mourn the life that you thought you were going to have. And at the time, my mentality was so different. And I thought I knew the life I was going to have. I knew that I thought it was like right around the corner. I could like taste it. And so I know now that that was not the future that God had for me. But at the time, I really had to like accept the fact that okay, that is not the life that you're going to have. And that's okay. And then I have some other quotes here just talking about like people in general. If it's pulling you away from God, it is not from God. This is a good one. It says so many people love you. So don't focus on the ones who don't. So go one. This is a good one. I think I've said this one to you guys before. It's exit gracefully, heal and grow, and don't look back. That could be like for a family breakup, or like a like a not family breakup, but like a friend breakup, or a romantic relationship, any kind of relationship that ends, I feel like that is appropriate. Now this one is a little quote. It's like a passage that this can be taken into many, many, many different contexts. And I'm reading it now. And I remember writing it. And it seems very dramatic. But at the time, I thought that this was like very relatable to me. So I'm just read it. And then you'll you'll see the second half of it is very true. The beginning is a little dramatic. But anyway, I wrote I look back to the vulnerable girl that was taken advantage of. That's the dramatic part that made being is not super relevant, but to me. But anyway, I don't recognize her anymore. But I still wish I could go back, give her a hug, hold her hand and tell her you are strong enough to leave and you deserve so much more. I think it was the last part that really like stuck to me. Um, and again, like I've said this so many times, when talking about this, like, not saying that I was perfect by any means I wasn't I had so much to learn about life and myself and love and relationships and all that. But your girl was really hurting at the time when I was writing all this, I was like two weeks fresh of this breakup. Okay. A lot of the self growth hadn't happened yet. This was me just like getting my feelings out. My devotional for the day on January 31st was titled steps to forgiveness. And I wrote notes on it. So let's read step one, accept people as they are and don't try to change them. Changing people is God's job, not yours. Step two, see your offender as God's tool for your growth. That's a good one. See them as God's instrument to develop you. Again, that goes back to like everything happens for a reason. And step three, try reconciling with your defender. That one isn't always necessary in my opinion. I think you can forgive somebody without telling them you forgive them, but that's just me. But of course, if it's like a family member or something, like I absolutely advocate for that. But um, okay, then I have some other notes here about it. It says you have to walk out the process to become gold meaning like to make gold. You have to go through fire. So when they're making like a gold ring or whatever, you have to go through fire for it to, to become what it's meant to be. Meaning you have to go through hard times to get to what you're meant to be. And that the degree of heat and the amount of time required to make that gold ring, for example, is determined by God. So the time it takes for you to go through that hard season is not up to you. It's up to God. And when you rush the process, it doesn't come out right. When you really need him, God shows up and does for you what you can't do for yourself. I said that before. And the rest of the time he strengthens you and says walk out the podcast. Well, a little did I know that I was going to have a little podcast called The Walk when I wrote this. That's actually really funny. I see, I just realized that for the first time. New beginnings part five. And I think that this is the last new beginnings, but I could be wrong. Okay, two scriptures to start both in Romans. I love Romans. Chapter five, verse three, we gladly suffer because we know that suffering helps us endure. It makes us stronger. Romans five, verse five, endurance builds character that will never disappoint us. All this happens because God has given us the Holy Spirit who fills our hearts with his love. So again, going through the hard times makes you who you're meant to be. And then a couple other notes under it says God deconstructs to reconstruct. That's kind of the same thing as saying God removes to replace. And it says Jesus says it is finished. He has everything worked out for your good and his glory and you are in the palm of his hand. So thank God for what you're praying for as if it's already done, because it kind of is. And then I have a random little quote here that says you deserve somebody who knows your rare and will hold on to you no matter what. Because that's what I was longing for at the time. The next page I'm not going to read this, but I essentially wrote a letter to Jesus. It literally says Dear Jesus. I think, did my therapist tell me to do this? I don't remember how I got this idea. But anyway, I wrote a letter to God about what I wanted in a partner, what I desire in a future husband. And let me say my thought here, again, I'm not going to read it, but looking at this, I was still very much in a place where I was romanticizing relationships and I was romanticizing love at this time. This was almost a month after my breakup. And already, I was like, okay, now I have to just keep working and keep working so that I can meet my husband one day so that God can give me the person he has for me, which, yes. But I was always, I was only a month. I was only single for a month. But I was still very, very focused on it. I hadn't yet learned how wrong it is to idolize relationships, how a relationship is not going to complete me. That's not the missing piece. That wasn't the missing piece. But at this time, it's very evident to me that I still thought that it was the missing piece. There's nothing wrong to have that desire to get married and to have a relationship. I think it's actually a very good thing. God designed marriage. It's a good thing. But I can just see how much it was still, it was my focal point at this point. Again, the self growth hadn't happened yet. I do recommend writing a letter like that or like a list of things that you want in your partner. That way, when you like meet somebody, you can reference the list or the letter and kind of be like, okay, does this person check off these things? I actually, I recommend it. This is where my old pastor at the church I used to go to started a message on faith and it was amazing. He preached on it for like, I don't know, like 10 weeks or something. That's a lot in here, but that's a whole other thing that we're not going to go into because that's a whole other lesson in and of itself. Although it was really helpful to me at the time. Okay, I have some devotional notes now. And this was January 22nd. He says, when something happens, recognize that it's God, see God in it and recognize it often because there's no such thing as a coincidence. When you diligently seek him, it strengthens you to keep fighting the good fight of faith. Learn how to be happy between happenings. So learn how to be content in every situation. When it's boring, when it's bad, when it's good, learn how to be content. And that's where your inner peace comes from. It says maintaining it is the hard part. You have to renew your mind and your attitude daily. And to do so getting into God's word is what you should do every day. And I definitely was not doing that at the time. I was reading my devotional every morning, but that was like it. I didn't actually read the physical Bible. And then I have more relationship stuff. Again, you could see how important relationships were to me still. A relationship sent by God will not steal your joy, damage your self-confidence, or take life from you. It will give you confidence, peace, life, and a healthy radiant glow. I don't know where I got that from, probably Pinterest. I mean, that's all true though. It's all very true. And then there's another quote that says, you are right on schedule. That delay, detour, disappointment is a part of God's plan. Be patient and wait for His plan to unfold. Again, everything happens for a reason, a lot of repetitiveness in here. Okay, then I have 1 Peter chapter 3, verses 3 through 4, don't depend on things like fancy hairstyles or gold jewelry or expensive clothes to make you look beautiful. Be beautiful in your heart by being gentle and quiet. This kind of beauty will last and God considers it very special. And that was me kind of just learning to not put so much thought into like what men thought about me, you know, or just people in general, like outside people. It's got to come within here. And it's true. I've seen that once, like, I got my inner peace and I got my confidence back, it radiated forward, it radiated outwards and people noticed. So it's not about how you look on the outside, really, it's about it comes from in here. It's so cheesy, but it's actually true. I've said this to you guys before, when God sees that you appreciate your now, he starts to release your next. Oh, I have a little quote here. Wow. It says a quote, did I come up with this? I don't know. It says I want to marry someone that I didn't have to give a million chances to because they appreciated me the first time around. I think that was a quote, actually, I definitely didn't come up with that. But I mean, yeah, I think everybody deserves that. And then it says focus on God and enjoy every single day he has given early. Yeah, I think most of these are from like Pinterest. Okay. More church notes. This stuff is a little personal. These are like I literally just tied a little miscellaneous notes. This is good. It says I feel so liberating to finally let go of something you thought was right for you. This one's good. I'm going to read this and it is kind of personal and this is probably the most personal thing I'll read. But it's just so it really describes my mentality at the time of the breakup where like, I'll just read it. I'm just going to read it. This is a quote. I didn't come up with this but I related to it very much at the time. It says it got to a point where I was okay with being a fool for you if it kept us together. I was fine with getting hurt and forgiving you when I knew I couldn't expect any better. It's kind of rough but okay. It got to a point where I became this was the part. I got to a point where I became less concerned with being loved the right way and more concerned with making sure I held on to the relationship for getting the whole reason that I was in the relationship in the first place was to pursue happiness, not heartache. I mean, that's pretty self evident. I had just, like I said it, I think in my testimony video, I had just lost myself so much in this relationship and I had so many insecurities that I didn't handle in the right way. But that all of that made me so lost that when the relationship was ending, I gripped onto it with everything I had even though I didn't deserve to put myself through that because that's all I knew how to do. So I hope you learn from me to not do that. Okay, let's see. This is a good one. It's a good quote. It says, don't worry about the people God removed from your life. He heard conversations you didn't. He saw things you couldn't and he made moves you wouldn't. That's true for any kind of relationship. It's amazing how this is going to change so much because you could really see how down bad I was at the time. This is still February. I'm sorry, it was the beginning of March. I was still very, very fresh and I was still down pretty bad. It's going to get better, I promise. This is a good one. This is when I started learning about just things in your life that can distract you from what you should be doing. So this was my devotional for the day and like my verse of the day that morning, this was March 10th. God wants you to be as fruitful as possible so he prunes you and that requires lopping off things from branches that don't produce fruit, a.k.a. good things in your life because God has something better in mind and he's at work. Philippians chapter 1 verse 6 says, God who began the good work within you will continue his work until it is finally finished. Like that Tornwell song, if it's not good then he's not done with it yet, that kind of thing. If it's not good, he's not done with it yet, yeah. And this was my verse of the day that day, Romans 1212. Let your hope make you, I'm sorry, let, oh yeah, I was right. Let your hope make you glad. Be patient in time of trouble and never stop praying. And then I wrote, God gave us his word to guide us through hard times. One, be joyful in hope because God is within you. Two, be patient in affliction. Hard times are inevitable, but they make you who you are and they give you endurance and patience and strength. Three, be faithful in prayer. Who or what do you need to pray for? Let love be the foundation of who you are. When we endure suffering, Jesus forms strength and confidence we couldn't attain otherwise. Again, everything happens for a reason. Yeah, this is a little prayer I have here. It says, God, I am grateful for all the plans you have made for my life. Because you are in control, I can place hope in you when I face trouble. Going forward, please help me to have honest conversations with you when my future feels unclear. And this is when I really started, like my walk with God really started to form. We have more church notes and this was all about like speaking. Like when you're when you're acting in faith, you have to speak it out and like speak God's word back to him essentially. So I wrote down a whole bunch of verses. There are a lot of them. I don't know if I'm going to read all of them here, but they essentially became the verses that I was like reading back to God or saying back to God. First, John 5 15. And if we know that he hears us, we are sure our prayers have already been answered. He says, put it in God's hands, be patient. God has to prepare these things and he has to prepare you. Psalm 51. In the morning I lay my request before you and I wait in expectation, meaning you know he's going to hear you. Psalm 37 4. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Jeremiah 29 11. Very well known one. I know the plans I have for you says the Lord plans to prosper you plans to give you hope in a future. And then Matthew 6 33 says seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you. Seek him above all and know he is working all things out for your good. I have devotional notes here from I think the same day and it says what she lost was painful but what God promised her is powerful. She's not afraid of the wait anymore for she knows he will open doors beautiful and perfect in their time. Love that. Philippians 2 13. God is working in you. He wants your plans and your acts to fulfill his good purpose. Amazing. See so you see I'm slowly starting to come out of the funk. I'm slowly starting to really just seek something else other than the hurt. I don't want to read that. That's a little personal. This is a good one. Actually hold on. Yeah this devotional from April 5th says God is calling you. Nothing about us surprises God. And it says that even when you don't know what to pray for yourself he knows what you need better than you know what you need. So his word literally says that when you don't have the words to pray he will pray for you. It's in Hebrews 7 25 it says he Jesus he speaks to God for them. And not only can God turn your life around he can use you to turn the lives of others around too. That's so so powerful. This is what this is April 20th and I was like okay I want to walk with God but like how and I came across this TikTok from this girl named Kim Caputo. She actually just got engaged. She is a Christian. She is very involved in her church. I just I think she's from New York and I followed her after I saw this and she made a TikTok about how to hear from God. So there are three scriptures and then three pieces of notes. And I wrote it all down. I saved the TikTok and I came home and I wrote notes on it because I thought it was so good. Isaiah 26 3 you will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you and whose thoughts are fixed on you. Psalm 29 11 the Lord gives his people strength. The Lord blesses them with peace. 1 Corinthians 14 33 for God is not a God of disorder but of peace as in all the meetings of God's holy people. So she said stop monitoring things you already surrendered in God's hands. Set your eyes on him and just trust him and his process. Wake up in the morning knowing that God is on your side because he is like we said he takes delight in our lives. She finds peace in knowing God will always lead her exactly where she needs to be and that is something that I remind myself of daily. I always say God you place my steps you know I'll be fine no matter where I am no matter where I'm going I will be fine. More church notes more church notes let's see this is literally faith part 10 it's such a long series. Okay now we're in June I have my verse of the day here the end of June June 27 and I think I think July is when I started actually reading my Bible like every day so we're getting there my verse of the day was Psalm 27 14 wait patiently for the Lord be brave and courageous yes wait patiently for the Lord and it says how and then I have a bunch of bullets one looking at his hands and ordinary moments two reading about his story and his plans and his word worshiping him no matter the bad happening in the world that's harder to do easier said than done but it's doable do it by serving people and by thanking him for what he's already given us and I have a couple notes here just because a specific door isn't opening doesn't mean that God isn't moving it just means that he says either later you're not ready yet it's not ready yet or I have something better and God works while we wait even when it feels like he's not working he is asked for patience and trust that he is in control of your future I ask for patience every day I'm like Lord please don't let me settle for something that is not for me just because I want it I literally pray that all the time on this is when I started going to my church for the first time so I didn't write anything for like a month and a half because the next one is August 13th and this is when I started going to my church that I go to now and I really started like digging into the word and really like learning I learned on August 23rd the fruits of the spirit that's a thing it's a whole list of things that you get from walking with God you get love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control I'm still trying to memorize those and I wrote by choosing to obey God instead of your impulses you activate the power that brings victory and it's harder to do because you want everything of the world is easier it's more fun in the moment until it's fun until it's not that's a different that's a different story the different message for a different time but by choosing to obey God instead of your impulses you activate the power that brings you victory this is this is good okay I started reading things this is when I was really just soaking it all up and I was like okay I want to know what God says about me and this is where my self-love really started I have a list of five things and it says know that one God is above me I am submitted to him two God is for me and I am accepted three God is with me I am engaged with him not like engaged but the other kind of engaged for God is in me I am directed by him and five God is using me and I really had to meditate on those things and that's really how I started to learn like who I am and who God says I am then on September 7th this is a cool thing my church started 21 days of prayer I didn't know anybody I knew one person maybe two at this point I didn't know anybody but I participated kind of by myself in the church's 21 days of prayer and they encourage you to sit in prayer every single day I started this on September 7th and I have prayed every day pretty much since then I have spent 10 15 20 minutes sitting in God's presence just talking to him in the mornings and so I wrote I am participating in my church's 21 days of prayer from September 7th to September 21st and here is what I'm believing God for building the foundations of God the community in my life this is my first time reading back to this I wrote friends to talk to slash sit with on Sundays friends who will give me godly encouragement worship nights bible studies having the confidence to talk to new people having the favor that can only come from God wow guys literally after I film this I'm going to a Christmas party a white elephant party with my young adult group at church that I have become friends with and you know what it's it took four months to get here at three because I've been friends with them for about like a month now but I prayed diligently every day believing for God the community every day and now look it's just amazing I wrote the next bullet I want to continue to grow into the best future partner best future spouse that I can be so again it wasn't about now it's not about finding a man it's about God preparing me for the person he has for me it's about me it's about working on myself not about searching for it working on myself it's just amazing how I'm looking back and I can see how much I grew and I even wrote I prayed that God would open my eyes if what he has for me looks a little different than what I pictured that's a really that's a whole other thing where you're like fantasies or you're like daydreaming can actually hinder if something that God sends you doesn't maybe look like what you thought he doesn't have six pack he's not six foot five he's whatever that's a very real thing that maybe we'll talk about another time I pray that I would meet someone who also wants a Godly relationship someone who's intentional clear will pursue me and don't and won't leave me guessing this is your sign to be specific with God when you pray be specific oh and I wrote I know this is a lot to expect in just 21 days but I pray that the foundations for these things will begin to form in the next three weeks but God is crazy and can turn things around faster than we can imagine I am expectant thank you Lord for working in my life that is why gold because man he was working I even wrote like finding ways to volunteer and help others in my community is also something I started praying for and I have done that as well crazy all right and this is my my current pastor now some of his first messages that I I started to write down and just soak it all up let's see I wrote notes on how to speak to others this is September 17th one the heart touch them emotionally to speak to hope inspire them with their potential and their possibilities three speak with help how to apply what you're saying for use humor laugh at your mistakes to show them they're not alone and I actually tried to implement that in my little podcast episodes church notes church notes this is the message of this one actually was if you don't transform it you will transmit it and that's very real that was in my healing journey healing era this I have spoken about this I learned on September 21st the recipe for prayer and it has changed my life I actually know the woman who taught me this at my church and I have yet to be able to tell her that she taught me this but I will one day it's the recipe for prayer one reverence praise and honor him first before anything two reflection thank him for what he's brought you through so far three repentance reprint for the things that you're aware of that you've done that were wrong and even things that you weren't aware of and ask him to reveal those to you four this is your request now you get to ask him for things and five that's your reward and he does that part I follow that recipe every day amazing all right now we're in October so we're getting close to current time more this is now this is where I started doing like less journal entries and really was just soaking in all the bible studies and the things that my pastor was saying um let's see I don't want to get too much into this because this is actually like not personal but it's personal to like my church and I don't want you guys to know where I go to church so um now I'm in December okay the last thing I think I will end on is this message it was from a guest pastor actually it was November 26 and it was called dying for a purpose and it's basically about I'll just read it to you it says death proceeds purpose so it's again like God has to break you you have to kind of like die to yourself first before you figure out who you are and what God has has for you and who he's called you to be Proverbs 14 12 there is a path before each person that seems right but it actually ends in death doesn't have to be like death death but like bad things happening essentially John 12 24 unless a kernel of wheat is planted in the soil in the soil and dies it remains alone but it's death will produce more many new ones a harvest of new lives so again if it doesn't die the seed that seed is going to wither it needs to die in order for it to blossom it's the same thing for us in a life dedicated to self doesn't produce anything lasting so we live in a very like yes do you queen era right and like yes do you but also when you're just serving yourself it doesn't result in anything lasting so be careful what you idolize me I was idolizing relationships I was idolizing appearance I was idolizing marriage you know just everything that I was a year ago was putting before God you know let life's author God write your script purpose produces life Ephesians 12 I'm sorry Ephesians 2 10 for we are God's masterpiece he has created us a new in Jesus so we can do the things he planned for us long ago um yeah you have to believe I have a star next to us when you have to believe that his plan is better than yours exchange your plan for his purpose because that's the best for you and acts 2024 says my life is worth nothing unless I use it for finishing the work assigned to me by by the Lord the work of telling others the good news about the wonderful grace of God live a life that outlives this life so man if that is not and there's more here but it's just like church notes and this leads me to my notes from two days ago so man if this does not show you how much I grew this year then I don't know what does and I would really encourage you guys if you are going through something write it down journal it doesn't have to be formal journal entries like dear diary it could be bullet points it could be just random thoughts it could be anything but write it down because I promise you one day you're gonna look back it's all gonna make sense you're gonna understand why you went through it it doesn't have to be a breakup it could literally be anything that life throws at you anything bad or anything that you thought you didn't you didn't see it going that way but it did now you're like whoa now what do I do write it all down because it's not nothing is forever it's not gonna last forever one day you are gonna look back and it's going to make sense and you're gonna it's gonna make you feel so good to see how you've grown I mean look at what I just read to you I went from a heartbroken girl who had no idea who she was who was just craving that love which like where does that even come from because I'm loved by my family I'm loved by like I don't even know where that comes from but I just wanted that love that love and I still do but not the way I did before because now I don't know that I now I know that I don't need it I just want it and it's different I don't need a partner I don't need a man he's not gonna complete me because he can't only God can but it would be nice you know it's a want not a need so anyway I don't know what this video was I'm gonna be really honest with you as I was sitting here reading this I'm in the back of my mind I'm like wow I really hope they're getting something out of this am I talking too fast I know I talk fast especially when I read I know I read fast so I hope that you guys got something out of this I really do and this stuff it's gonna stay in 23 2023 the bad stuff the good stuff can come to 2024 but the bad the bad stuff the bad stuff is gonna stay behind so yeah that was my 2023 wrapped I hope you guys had a great year and if you didn't 2024 is gonna be better I saw something that said 2023 was the year that God made you strong now 2024 is gonna be the year that he makes you happy not to say that I'm not happy now but I just feel I feel in my gut in my heart that good things are really coming like I've already entered into it I have these godly friends who we encourage each other and we do worship nights together and we we you know lift each other up and it's just it's what I prayed for for so long and I just know that this is this is the beginning this is the beginning of new chapters for me and I'm just really excited and I'm excited for you guys too I'm speaking it over your lives as well that 2024 is gonna be a fantastic year for you and we don't have to be all cheesy and do like new year new me because you know we're not new but I just have a good feeling I really do and I hope you guys do too and thank you for being here it's been a really good year on this channel I finally used it in a way that I think I want to continue using it like I found what I want this channel to be it is very me I don't have to live up to any anybody's expectations it is just what I want it to be and I'm so excited to see all the videos that are coming on this channel in 2024 I already have ideas I already have videos I've started working on that are not podcast related but like vlogs and yeah I hope that you'll subscribe and you'll stick around and go on this journey with me and again thank you for being here and I will see you next year for the next episode of The Walk Padcast bye guys