 Avengers comes out next week, so it's a little safe to say I am super! What better way to show my excitement than to arbitrarily rank all 200 MCU films in no particular order? No one has ever done this ever. Number one, The Incredible Hulk. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, shut up. I know what you're thinking, Khaleesi, this movie's not bad. In fact, I love it, I think it's great, I love it, I'd have a plate of it. Stack on it, save some for later. It's that good. Marcus Ruff has taken the character to such significant heights that Edward Norton, honestly, I don't think could. Number one, Iron Man Dose. That means doing Spanish. Why do I know that? It's good, it's just good. Whiplash on the racetrack, smacking those chains around, doing the whip smack. That's what I call it. It's like, it's like the new dab. It's like... Subscribe. We're also introduced to Black Widow for the first time. She's so hot, super hot, hot as shit. I'm gonna marry her someday. Number one, Thor. The Dark World. More like Boar, the Snore World. Am I right? No, I'm wrong! That movie's perfect! It's got elves, it's got magic, it's got Natalie Portman playing her iconic character that has no personality again, Jane Foster. I'm gonna marry her someday. Lest we forget Cat Dennings. She's witty, she's funny. She's perfect. She's Cat, her. And I'm gonna marry her someday. Number one, Venom. I know, not part of the MCU, but it's so good. Don't sleep on Venom. Seriously don't, he'd hurt you. See this film. Number one, Captain America. Christian Evans is Captain America. Oh Captain, my Captain. He's built like a tank and moves like a skank. Skank is a steady-paced dance to ray game music. Characterized by rhythmically bending forward, raising the knees and extending the hands, palms downward. Oh wait, you thought skank like the derogatory term? Such a nerd. I know things. Number one, but I just had it. I lost it somewhere. Oh I know, it's Ant-Man. It's small, I can see him. Although sometimes he gets large too. He can grow from small to big, like a penis. I wish mine could. This one's just fun. It features a Thomas engine. A giant Thomas toy for this soy boy makes the girls go coy. I've wrenched my scout leader at a weekend retreat. Number one, Thor. He's back at the number one spot. Thor is one of the original Avengers in these films. That's something you may not have known. If you're a fucking idiot, everybody should know that. Thor, pronounced Tor in Latin, is a chiseled Adonis that can wield a hammer and control the power of lightning. So naturally, Chris Hemsworth, an actual god, was chosen to play this guy. I'm gonna marry him someday. As a bonus, we have some bird up there sniping from the eagle's nest. It's Hawkeye! Hawkeye doing it in an eagle's nest. Fucking kill me. Number one. Oh no, I lost my pick again and not for the reasons you might think. It's because there's a ghost in this picture. See? Different play on words. Ant-Man and the Wasp. Ant-Man and the Wasp is the type of easy breezy cover girl popcorn summer action flick I look for. And can I be frank with you? You can be Joseph. I'm super pumped that Disney decided to pass on Edgar Wright, visionary director behind movies like Scott Pilgrim, and instead went with the generic director. It truly could have been something special. And that scares me. Well, there's something strange in the neighborhood. Who are you gonna call? Hopefully someone to green light a sequel to the masterpiece that was the all-female ghost busters from a couple years back. I'm talking, of course, seriously about Doctor Strange. Some of the criticism out there is that Doctor Strange feels like a Me Too Iron Man with a very similar protagonist in a very similar plot wrapped in a different package. I don't know about them, but I happen to like a tight package. Number one. Spider-Man Homecoming. Finally, Marvel has done it. They have produced an amazing Spider-Man movie. Oh, that's already a movie. Not only did they produce a terrific first outing for this character for the third time, they also brought me myself to my first homecoming. Because no girl would go with me when I went to high school. Because of the micro-penis. This Peter Parker reminds me of a line from Iron Man 1. Take away the suit, and what do you have left? In this case, a really smart high schooler that got pretty much no abilities from the Spider-Bite itself. Polarizing. Controversial. Subverts Expectations. No, I'm not talking about The Last Jedi for once. That movie was my 9-11. It's popular to hate on Iron Man 3, but I'm firmly in his camp. Number one. Avengers. Age of Ultron. Sun's getting real low, assholes. If you hated Age of Ultron because it's too convoluted or has a lot of half-baked ideas, then you're part of the problem. Is this movie perfect? Of course. Does Joss Whedon know how to properly frame up a woman in a push-up raw? Absolutely he does. Look. I'm a simple man. I see Chris Evans split a log in two with his bare hands. I'm a harder-than-a-metallica concert from the 80s. I know. Not that that says a lot because of the fun-sized sneakers I'm packing between my legs. Number one. Civil War. Between this and Batman v Superman, there was a lot of really good movies that came out that year. They were both very well incredibly made pieces of cinematic art. Both of them. Equally. The same. In fact, it'd be hard for me to choose between them even if he had a gun pointed at my head. Batman, of course, holding the gun and he would shoot me regardless if I told the truth or not. The airport sequence alone that ended in zero stakes and had no consequences to any of the films moving forward. That's what I love about movies. No stakes. No consequences. Just mindless action that leads to nothing. I love film. Number. Are we almost done? Avengers. This was a big one, folks. And no, I'm not talking about my- I think I said, wow, at least a dozen times during this picture. Loki was such a cool villain. Let's be honest, I stand him from day one and I'm an adult who used the term stand. And even though the last 45 minutes of that picture were essentially the last three Transformers movies, just substituting out-of-framed robots with superheroes, I still thought it was fresh and fun. In fact, I know right after that movie was done, I went home and cried for a full hour into a pillow because I was that excited and moved by the picture. That's what a stable person does. Number one. Guardians of the Galaxy. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. I am Groot. Number one. Volume two. Guardians of the Galaxy. I am Groot. I'm just messing with you. I'm not going to do that again. I'm not a complete hack. The franchise is everything to me because I have so little going on in my life. I love my Star Lord. I love my Gamora. I love Drax. I love Groot. He's baby now. He's baby Groot. Space Battles. A great soundtrack. A director who made countless jokes about pedophilia when he was younger. Awesome action scenes. What more can you ask for? Number one. Captain America. Winter Soldier. No one was expecting a sleek, sophisticated, spy thriller from a Captain America movie. But they should have been. Christian Evanson takes up the shield one more time. And then a subsequent amount of times after to give us a bang for our buck. Or like a bang for our bucky. Someone off-screen gave me that joke. I'm using it. My Black Widow's here too. Which I love. Which is great. Which I love. I want to date her. I'd like to white knight for a second if I could. The fact that Black Widow hasn't had her own film yet. Her own standalone is borderline manslaughter. Or women's slaughter if you must. Is that an extreme statement? I don't think so. Maybe a little ironic. Consider only one of these ended in an actual widow. Because of the manslaughter. Number one. Thor Ragnarok. Wait Khaleesi. How did a Thor movie get so high on this list when you were pretty down in the dumps on the previous ones? I would lie if I told you I didn't miss my Jane Foster. Her lack of personality and charisma and character development is something I can relate to. Ragnarok also gives us a lot of fun moments. The movie ooze is fun. Just try liking fun sometimes. Just try liking it. Like some fun once in a while. You piece of shit. Also is it just me or does Chris Hemsworth somehow get hotter when he only has one eye? I mean come on. What is with this dude? Could you imagine Khaleesi Grimes with the eyepatch on? Like a pirate or something? I'm Khaleesi Grimes. I have a parrot on my shoulder. Which I guess I'd be the parrot. Because I'm constantly parroting other people's thoughts and ideas on YouTube. Number one. Infinity War. Controversial pick I know. I cry no less than 20 times during this epic cinematic journey of cinema. Cinematic. We have almost the whole gang here. We have our T'Challa. We have our Christie Evans. We have our Spiner Man. We have a Hulk. Kinda. Tilly hides like a little baby Hulk in the corner. He's like meh meh meh meh. Hulk no smash. They should have baby Hulk. That'd be so fun. All I know is he better come out of his shell in Endgame. If he pouts in the corner again, I'm gonna be super pissed. Speaking of Endgame, I don't know if I'm more excited for that or Taylor Swift's new album to drop. Number one. I'm always ready for a war again. Black Panther. Strong Black! This isn't just a big Hollywood movie. It's a movement. It's a message to all Hollywood corporate elitist douchebags that a movie featuring Black people doesn't have to be about slavery. Congratulations, assholes. Just played yourself. We already knew that. Thanks for catching up. People don't actually care what color your skin is as long as you have a well-written character and a great story. Plus, it gives people a perfect opportunity to grandstand and shame those that didn't like the film. It gets a racist. Number one. Everybody knew it was coming. Captain Marvel. It was tough to decide between Captain Marvel or Black Panther. It was either be racist or sexist at the end of the day. Then I realized the harsh truth. I'm a white male. So I'm already both. Captain Marvel has a lot to say. There are intricate layers to this film that we have yet to unravel, yet to dissect. It will take many years and film studies to get to the bottom of it. Mainly because of the performance by Brie Larson. She puts everything into this role. Solid face. Stone face. Facial. Less expression. Face with no expression. Removal of expression. A face that has eluded expression. It subverts expression. It's really the last Jedi of expressions. And she's more than just a strong female lead. She's a message of hope. She's a beacon of power. She's a her. Can she die? I don't know. What are her powers? I'm clear. What struggles does she overcome? Forget about this. Does she do her own stunts? Fuck Tom Cruise. What else is there really to say about this other than, I love this movie! Number one. Avengers Endgame. The bold statement. I may or may not have already seen Endgame. I may or may not have been given an early presser Rob Down Jay and been given a private screening from my own personal Jeep Cherokee looking out the window to his private bugalow Upstate New York in the Hamptons. Which is Upstate New York. And I may or may not have loved every single thing about this movie! For all those hypothetical reasons, Endgame is my number one. And I will say a whole lot more on it when the rest of you sheeple. I mean people get to see it. Thank you for watching. I hope you loved my list. And I can't wait to hear what you thought about the film. Don't give a single fuck what they think about this movie. We're just here to get paid. And once more, I want to thank you from the bottom of my tiny dick for watching this video. It's a top list. No one's ever done them on the MCU movies. And it's going to hold up really well. Especially when Marvel releases like 13 movies a year. So, completely useless. Cringe Crew! Sound out in the comments! And I'll MCU you next time. Guess what that title of play on words. I'm a geek. Mainly because of the performance by Brie Larson. She puts everything into this role. A solemn face. A stone face. Facial. Less expression. Face with no expression. The removal of expression. A face that once had expression but no longer does. A face that has eluded all. A face that has eluded expression. It subverts expression. It's really the last Jedi of expressions.