 Hello YouTube, I'm Asperger's growth and today we'll talk about seven ways in which Asperger's makes it hard to communicate with people. This is a really important video to watch if you want to understand autistic people a whole lot better so make sure you give it a like and share it to as many people as possible or to anybody who you might think will benefit from this video. Before I get into the video I just want to ask you to hit the like button make sure to subscribe it's just a tiny little thing that you can do that will make a whole big difference in how this channel goes about so without further ado here's seven ways in which Asperger's makes it hard to communicate. Number one the understanding of ourselves is very limited the logic communication and emotional part of our brains don't communicate very well with each other so this means that it takes a lot of effort to translate our emotions into a logical understanding and this logical understanding into speech that can kind of get on the wavelength of other people that we're trying to communicate this to. Number two social mimicking and passing as we grow up we get a lot of lead behavior from being around people at school being around people in family so this means that we mimic a lot of the communicative ways that people go about although this is a good thing in order to make friends and in order to go about your daily life and get jobs and stuff like that it also doesn't translate well to how our brains work it also reduces people's perceptions of how much our autism may actually realistically affect us it's usually viewed as something that doesn't have a very large impact on our personality and the way that we think but in reality it does have a massive impact on how we perceive things and also how we act. By passing as a neurotypical person it means that a lot of the compromises that we may want people to make in order to make us feel better in social situations or just to understand us in a better way are usually ignored and if it isn't taken as seriously it won't be factored into other situations such as relationships or friendships such as the differences in our ability to portray what we mean and also our ability to get an idea of what someone's trying to tell us through the body language and facial expressions and tone of voice that are usually used to convey a certain idea to a neurotypical person as you can see we can get very confused about these things i would prefer a more direct and logical approach to communicating a lot of people with autism who want to be better at being in social situations want to get girlfriends anything like that will do a lot of looking at people and observing people and seeing how they react to certain situations so that we know how we should react in certain situations to get to know people but we do lack the innate social abilities that people who don't have autism have to put it this way a neurotypical person has a conscious and subconscious mind and a lot of the sensory information from a conversation such as the tone of voice the body language and the facial expressions feed into the subconscious mind which ultimately affects how they communicate with another person being people with autism or aspergers the understanding of these things have to be learned and often get mixed up and confused even if we learn how to understand people's body expressions facial expressions tone of voice in a social context to a degree that's as well as a neurotypical person it requires a lot of brain power because we need to think about all these things and in a lot of certain situations there can be a lot of sensory environmental factors that come in and it can lead us to feel very exhausted trying to communicate someone with someone the problem comes in when we try to relax and we're very at ease with other people we tend to focus less on the body language and tone and this can lead to us getting a wrong idea of a situation or receiving a message that is opposite or different to what the person intended it to be you may have friends with aspergers who may take regular breaks from social situations that maybe just go to the bathroom for a bit or maybe just say that they want to they want to go home because of some other reason but this is basically just to alleviate all the pressure and all the anxiety from trying to decode this this language that neurotypical people generally have a very easy time of doing in their subconscious because we need to do it in our in our conscious minds it's very difficult and even if we do it very well it's very exhausting and can take a lot of a lot of mental power to do number four social anxiety and generalized anxiety are much more prevalent in people with autism or asperger syndrome the anxiety can further be increased by the different ways that our sensory systems are put together so for example we may be exposed to a lot of sensory overload in public places and we may be very feel very adverse feelings to certain sensory stimulation like loud music or anything like that sensory overload occurs when there are a lot of small and large stimuli happening at the same time our conscious mind can't distinguish between things that we need to concentrate on and things that are a background noise and our brain can just shunt off and ignore for the the length of the conversation obviously with a lot of practice we are able to do social do social situations in a environment which is quite busy and stuff but after a while all of that mental strain from having to decode like people's social meanings with body language and stuff as well as ignoring this these other social these other environmental stimuli and it can lead us to be very exhausted and sometimes it may even cause panic attacks we can easily be distracted during conversations and some people may interpret it as being having a lack of interest in someone or have a lack of interest in what they're saying and generally just disengage from the conversation which may make me feel like we're rude or we don't care about them number five unusual or confusing body language or facial expressions as i said before in the other points it takes a lot of mental energy in order to decode the body language tone of voice from other people and also to ignore the sensory overload that comes from the environment when all of these things are happening our focus may not be on ourselves and maybe on trying to read the other person so a lot of the time our tone of voice or facial expressions or body language can be very disjointed with what we're trying to get across or what we're talking about number six social concepts and social rules social concepts and rules are something that autistic people and people of asperger's syndrome may be quite familiar with but may not fully understand an example of this is when to progress a conversation into another topic i know one of my friends with asperger's who with me find it very easy to talk to because they can jump from one topic to a completely different topic without you know any kind of phasing in of like topics and stuff but when they're trying to communicate with other people people will be very confused at why the the the topics changed or they may find it quite rude that they've interrupted them in something or may find it quite rude that they've interrupted them in something that they wanted to talk about another thing is knowing when it's your time to speak we have to spend a lot of time and listening to the conversation listening to the tone of voice and so that we know when it's our time to speak and input on this situation it's a little bit easier when there's only two people in the conversation when there's group conversations we tend to just either ignore them um because we don't know when when we're supposed to put input into the conversation or we'll talk too much in the conversation and interrupt people and it will just be all kind of crazy social mess this may lead people to think we're quite rude and obnoxious with our opinions and maybe not being able to let other people have input in the conversation may make them think we're kind of selfish but it's it's generally just because we don't really understand how we're supposed to go about these group conversations the last concept to look at would be the difference between friendships and relationships for me apart from the obviously physical intimacy i find that very hard to distinguish what makes a relationship and what makes a friendship so in my mind i don't really know how to distinguish a very emotionally connected friend from a romantic partner so it may make it very very difficult for me to understand those concepts i know in my childhood i found it very hard to deal with those kind of things and it led to a lot of strains on the relationships that i was having and also some complications with some friendships that i was having as well it also means that i'm very unlikely to understand when someone's interested in me and and may also think that someone's interested in me when they are actually not at all number seven we live in a society that is built for neurotypical people and not for artistic people from an early age with psychologists and parents and teachers we learn a way of interacting thinking and going about life in a way that we feel is very alien to who we really are the only way that i can really describe it is if you have to put a really patriotic american into a japanese society and expecting to understand all the social cultures and stuff and how to interact with people and also the general kind of emotional vibe that people give off it takes a lot of time but over over the amount of time all these behaviors and teaching how to act like a neurotypical person leads us to be able to pass passing as a neurotypical person this is almost like a outer shell of person around us and it is very contrary to how we would naturally act in in situations and also how we would not act in social situations as well although this can be very beneficial in for getting jobs like in interviews getting friends and getting relationships and we start to really understand why is that way and it can also make us feel like we're not acting how we truly are and make us very self-conscious and upset because we want to act a certain way and we can't all we want to act a certain way but we're very anxious and scared about people's judgments of us this barrier can prevent a lot of autistic people from connecting with other people because we have this outer layer of other person that surrounds us people don't get an idea of what we're really about a lot of the time and it can lead us to making friendships with people who are very contrary to how we really are inside being around these people on completely different wavelengths can lead to um wanting to be isolated can lead to loneliness and depression which um personally I have had trying to uh grow up and make friends in school if you know someone who is autistic or is on an autistic spectrum I recommend you try to uh push them and try to talk about themselves um nine out of ten times you'll find that there's a whole lot beneath the surface that you didn't really realize in the person and it may help you to develop your friendship and get more of emotional connection which will make both of you a lot happier you'll see a lot of unique perspectives on certain things that may make you admire and understand the person even more thank you very much for watching this video this video contains a lot of insights and important things to consider about autistic people and these are a lot of things that a lot of autistic people may want you to know but may not have the um confidence or the ability to communicate what they really want with a better with a better understanding of how an autistic person works and how an autistic person communicates um you can improve their lives and you can also have benefits for you and and also make you you too a lot closer so remember to like and subscribe if you like the video and if you want to see some more content from me and make sure to click the little bell in the corner and that'll give you notifications when my videos come out I don't do them that often so you want to get all the juicy content that comes out when it does so thank you very much for watching that again and I hope you guys are having a great day