 So, I'm probably not going to be doing a whole lot of development in the upcoming week or two. I'll be talking about why over the course of this video, but I also make a point that I have some sort of discussion videos that aren't directly programming related that I needed to get around to, and this is going to include some of those topics. Obviously, first things first, why I'm not going to be doing a whole lot of development recently, and not recently. Well, I haven't been doing much the past few days, but this is going to extend for a while. Largely has to do with how my mind is priorities. The work I'm doing is largely either open source development or the stuff you guys don't see is development for a business that I'm working on. Now, that can hold off. You've always got to put yourself first. Burnout's pretty bad, especially the entrepreneurial kind. So, I'm going to put myself first for a little bit. So, kind of the TLDR on what that whole situation is. You know, inevitably, you care about some people more than others. It's just kind of how things work, all sorts of reasons for that. Sometimes they just do morphia, sometimes it fulfills some deep-seated need, but I'm not going to get into a whole bunch of psychology shit, partially, because I don't always agree with all of it, but also, it doesn't really matter. There's all sorts of reasons behind that, too. All different ways in which you can care about somebody. Sometimes they're just a friend, sometimes they're a romantic or sexual interest. Sometimes it's other things entirely like some kind of business prospect. Partnership, rather, I guess. I might get rained on a bit. In this case, it's complicated. I mean, isn't it always, but it's definitely one of the more complicated ones. One thing you may notice going throughout your lives is people tend to pair up based on what each other needs. Not always, of course. You get some more like companionship rather than codependence, I guess. Not in a psychological codependence disorder kind of thing, but just codependence where you're contributing things that each other needs rather than strictly relying on it. I can't think of a better name for it right now. But, anyways, you may have noticed rather overly serious, sometimes grumpy people, like myself, have a tendency to sort of attract, not necessarily in a romantic way, just sort of attract people who are bubbly, goofy, less serious, the jokers who want to see everybody happy and smile, but aren't necessarily good at handling situations. Of course, sometimes that's a lot of the time, at least in my own experience, that's just friendly stuff. A lot of my friends are like that. In this case, it's the girl I seem to have maybe be getting feelings for. I'm rather meticulous with details and understanding situations. Still trying to figure out how much of this is just stupid hormonal shit I actually like her, but as I said, it's a complicated situation. Obviously, what I just described is not that complicated yet, so how it's complicated. I work with her, that's the first part, and I generally have a pretty strong policy of don't fuck where you work, because if it goes south, it causes problems. She's got a boyfriend. Can't even say that's the first time I've been in that situation. I'm kind of one of those assholes. The thing I will say is, if you've got a... If somebody's in a relationship and is happy about it, they won't leave. And I won't even try. This girl, she's not in a good relationship and she fucking knows it. As much as we can rationally say, oh, if you're not happy, just leave. If you feel like you're being mistreated, just leave. It's one of those things that's easier said than done, and I've been in that situation myself where you stick around too long. If you know you should, it's just hard bringing yourself to that point. Especially when there's a kid in the picture. You're starting to see how this is a complicated situation. I'm the grime's motherfucker to walk this earth. Regularly... Two of them are regularly fighting. And a lot of nights at work, seeing her cry over shit. Texting or calling each other about... Look, I'm not saying she's innocent in all this. But I don't fucking know. I have basically no context at all in the situation, just that the two of them clearly aren't happy with how much this is going on. And even if I don't do anything, at least at this point I'm thinking I'm probably not going to do anything. That's a messy situation I'd get myself in if I did. There's still the simple fact that I do like this girl. She does benefit me in ways still, even if I'm not with her. You know, you can... You still be friends with somebody, you know? And that fucking bugs me when certain guys, the nice guys, get like that. You can still be friends with somebody and benefit in ways. You don't have to get with every single girl who's your type. You don't. But they still don't like seeing her like that, you know? And I prioritize community, the people I'm around far more than I prioritize work, especially side jobs. And that's basically what this YouTube channel is. That's what the programming I do is. It's side stuff. So, obviously, I'm going to be seeing exactly what's going on in this situation and what I can do to help, whether I should even get involved at all, that kind of stuff. Anyways, I said I had a number of discussion topics to get to. And I figure, since I'm doing this anyways, I might as well get around to that. One thing people ask about a lot because they figure, why must be a professional programmer? And I'm not. I actually have a whole video about that. That title, I am not a programmer. And I do one of the card things to link to it, but YouTube keeps changing exactly how that whole thing works. So I'm just not going to bother. But I'll have a link to it down in the video description because they don't change that. I never really elaborated on what I actually am professionally. Work history largely started out with me as a cook, actually. And I don't mean fast food shit. I mean, Italian restaurant where I was the only person who spoke English. Friends of the families that... I guess not even friends of the family because they're like married into the family. My aunt married an Italian who came over with her. Sort of a complicated situation there. But yeah, these things happen. Hell, our current president is one of those. Well, his wife is one of those, but yeah. He liked it over here. Some of his family followed, started up a restaurant. They all just spoke Italian, but I, you know, it was a good way to get a job. A lot of people in my generation have really fucking hard time getting their first job. And so that helped me out big time. I did that for about two and a half years. You know, this is the kind of place that basically did everything from scratch. So it was a very good learning experience. And then went on to work in a pizzeria. So not really what I would consider Italian food. Definitely more Italian-American because you're doing pizza and a few side things. But there's actually the head cook there. I mean, it's just a pizzeria, so it's not super special. But we are still talking about coming up with the exact way to do the pizza dough, the exact recipe for the sauce, all that stuff. Because now I learned from these guys the importance of actually making the stuff from scratch rather than just using the store-bought shit. Because, like, can marinara is not that great. And the store-bought dough is usually frozen ahead of the time, which really just makes the resulting pizza taste sort of dry. And it doesn't quite rise right when you freeze the dough and then let it thaw. Yeah, so I did that for about a year and a half. It probably says a lot about how good I got at that. When six months after I had left to go to school, go to college, that is, they sold the business because, well, closed the business rather. They'd sell it a year later, but they closed the business because they couldn't find somebody to keep it operating like I was. I'm pretty proud of that. Proud of how good I got, not proud of the fact that this business closed because I left. I do feel bad for them. But knowing what I do now, I probably would have stayed there. College was a huge fucking waste of time. But anyways, I originally went off to study psychology. I grew pretty bitter of the field over the course of my study. The third year pretty much gave up on it entirely and grew to the immense disdain I have for the field. It took some time. I think about what I wanted to do. It took a year off. I would then work as a salesman doing phone sales. So the phones themselves and the contracts, cell phones, to be specific, not house phone plans, did that for just shy of a year. It was largely commission-based, although we did get some base pay. And that was a nice balance, I think, because it still compensated you for the non-sales part, like providing actual good customer service and shit like that, and helping them troubleshoot issues with their phones and stuff like that. And I definitely stood out doing that considering I got two raises within my first five weeks of being there. But then later after this, I move on to get my CNA. Because I wasn't really quite sure what exactly I wanted to do with my life at this point. And I come from a medical background. My dad's a physician. My mom's an RN. Quite a few other members of the family are medical workers in one way or another. So I figured the nurse's aid cert is pretty cheap. State might even pay for it for me. Let's get it. And sort of get my foot in the water, see if I like this stuff. I did. And I would stay in that field for about five years, not as a nurse's aid. I would actually rather shortly after I stopped started working shifted into home care. Where I was very shortly promoted from the PCA to equivalent up to an HHA and then get my LPN and then RN. That's right, an RN. And like I said, I would do this for five whole years. The last year and a half, I actually went private practice. And for those of you that are even remotely involved in that field at all, know that going private practice, especially after the PPACA was passed, was a fucking nightmare. But I managed to make that work. Reduced operating costs by 34% brought in about 16% more profit while providing the exact same service of care, or quality of care rather. So pretty proud of that. But ultimately, the legal shit, the fucking clusterfuck that medical laws are, drove me out of it. It was just too much of a pain in the ass with all the shit that I had to keep track of and make sure it was secure and all the freaking shit you have to go through with the employees. It was just a massive pain in the ass. So about eight months into me being private practice, friends started really pushing me, starting clothing business. As you see, I've been learning how to sew, how to tailor, how to mend since I was nine. I know I have more experience with that than I do with anything else, even programming. As you could say, I was kind of a weird kid because I started learning that when I was nine, started learning programming when I was 12, 12 or 13. I was late in that year, 12 or 13. And I've been building that up, getting all that shit done, making sure the products are really good, timing all the different stages of production extensively so that I can know exactly how long everything takes, where improvements can be made, how much improvements actually matter, stuff like that. Anybody who views my channel is going to be that interested in exactly what I'm doing. But some of the programming I do that isn't open source is for that. Seeing as this isn't my first business venture, I realized some things about how to fund business as well and how to not get yourself in as many risky situations, shit like that. I'm largely funding this through bootstrapping means instead of investments. This means that the initial growth is definitely slower. I'm okay with that because I can just treat this as side work and build it up without risking my own ass. That's important because most business ventures actually fail. So unless you know, and I mean know, not just think you know that you have a success, it's a lot safer to bootstrap. So I working as a cook again. Been doing that for about eight months now and about nine months now actually. And yeah, that's a full circle with the start of this video. That's where I know this girl from fun times. I got to figure out that whole situation and unfortunately there's a whole awkward thing. I got to discuss with her as well that isn't related to me and her directly, but rather just sort of something that'd be beneficial for her to know. Even just as her manager, not as her being a manager. Yeah, it's that level of awkward. I had to stop for a bit so I'll sit down and continue this. So I guess third topic for this video, I'm autistic. That's what I got to talk with the manager about. And of course, that's just a sort of good thing to know. So it's how to add tricky, I guess, really a lot of people that really look down on that kind of shit, misunderstandings and whatnot. One of my big beefs with a field of psychology actually is the APA is one of the big ones contributing to the misinformation about what autism is. Heaven's fucking forbid you actually ask the people with it. As long as you've got somebody who's not super fucking judgmental, it's a good idea to let them know. Just because it helps explain some quirky parts of behavior and whatnot that are associated with it. And I'm not worried about her being bitchy about it or anything like that. I'm going to try to remember to edit a little clip into a screenshot of something into here, but I think it summarized things pretty well about how the view on autism, like back during the whole vaccines calls autism bullshit. How a large number of people were saying that they'd rather risk their child being dead than have them turn out to be autistic. And it's like, yeah, that's how bad the views are on it. As luckily in my case, I have a very rare form of it that makes it not so easy for people to tell. Very high functioning, as you can tell, having held down numerous, numerous jobs where a degree of skill was actually required, where focus is actually required, stuff like that, where you have to be able to work with other people. And as Lord knows medical work, you have to be able to work with other people. And something like the classic autism that they're never going to be able to. Unfortunately, but I'm very high-fungioning in a way that's different from Asperger's, where they're like, just kind of only care about one thing. I'm hesitant to say that because nobody only cares about one thing. Nobody. But they're definitely just hyper-interested in that one thing. It's not like that in my instance, as you can tell, by juggling a large number of things. I'm clearly interested in a lot. But it's sort of high-fungioning in the same way that it can still hold down a job. I've been in plenty of romantic relationships and shit like that. Just for anybody who knows what the signs are, what the major actual symptoms of the different forms of autism are, it is actually pretty obvious that I have it just high-fungioning enough that most people who aren't familiar with that kind of stuff don't actually pick up on it. But yeah, I gotta explain that to this girl. Just because the whole business side of things. I say that, but it probably affects other things as well. When I'm focusing on something, she's trying to talk to me a few times, but she's about a little... I'm not sure I want to call it flirty, but definitely not super business-oriented. It was definitely more just straight-up social stuff. I want to make you smile kind of thing. Sorry, there was another person on the trail of me walking the other way, or if I don't have to deal with the whole legal side of having other people appear in this kind of shit. If YouTube ever decides to sort of resolve their monetization stuff, I would have been eligible under their previous shit. The moment you're actually involved in commercial stuff and you have other people appearing in your shit, you need releases and shit like that, and it's just easier if I make sure that nobody appears in this so that I don't have to worry about it in the first place. And I was saying, not all of her conversations with me have been strictly business. She actually tries a lot, a lot, a lot to get me to smile and shit like that. For those of you who aren't super familiar with one of the major things about autistic people, you can sometimes interact with them and they don't seem to respond at all. They take it from somebody who actually has the condition and isn't one of those psychologists talking down to people who have it, who are fully aware of everything that you're saying. I will process everything that is said to me. The lack of response is because I'm busy doing something else, whether working on something or just thinking about something. It doesn't mean I'm not listening. It doesn't mean any autistic person isn't listening. Just ask again, say whatever it is again. When you can actually get their full attention and they will respond. Completely respond. It's not that they're not listening or don't care. It's just sort of like a hyper focus on whatever is going on. So if you get their attention, you have their full attention. Even if it doesn't always look like it, eye contact can be kind of difficult sometimes with people that you're not close with. But if you have their attention, you have their full attention. If you don't, it's not that they're not listening. They're just not going to respond. Just ask again. You could tell one time she got a little upset by this. She was doing a lot of her goofy shit trying to get me to smile and I think she thought I was getting mad at her. She asked me if it was bothering me that she'd back off. She just wants to see me smile. She doesn't want to upset me. And her being at work in the middle of dinner rush. I'm going to be focusing on that, not on having a conversation with her. So I didn't respond. And I think she took that as just me still being mad at her. Yeah, I guess it does. I guess I do need to explain this for personal reasons as well. Not just business stuff. A bit of an incline. And I'm actually about at the top. So I figure, show you guys the view. Switch this over. It's a cloudy day. It's probably going to get some scattered showers. I don't really mind that. I'm prepared for it. But it's a hell of a view. None of you guys can't see depth all that well. Since there's not any good parallax going on. There's no stereoscopy. This is about 900 foot elevation over that lake. So it's not a super high mountain. I plan on doing some other stuff today. As long as the weather holds up. Even if this isn't a particularly high or challenging mountain. It's got a hell of a view. There's some clearing that needs to be done though. The view used to be a lot better. But with that being so steep. Clearing that's going to be interesting. So I guess having mentioned the whole thing about me being autistic. I can add a little bit to the whole reasons why I'm not a programmer. And I do want to be clear. That video was not made with me neither having worked as a programmer. I work in contract jobs and I have actually worked for a few different companies. Very short term. Always resulting in me leaving. The reasons why largely stem from two things. One is very easy to understand. And that with the bureaucracy that management introduces. Especially multi-level management. I find it stifling. I find it just absolutely stifles any type of creativity in the solutions and what not. And the whole thing about release deadlines stifles any ability to do good quality assurance. And let's face it. Quality assurance is fucking important. If it was for better quality assurance we wouldn't have things like the iPhone bend gate. So yeah. You'll notice like with the added tools project or any of the libraries there is no project deadline at all. Things get done as they get done. And I think you all can tell even though this is side work and I have a main full time job. I'm still keeping up a pretty rapid development base. But it'll be done when it's done. When it passes a large test suite. When it meets certain quality standards. Where it meets certain design and usability standards. Then I have not some arbitrary date. That being said. I have actually released a beta of it. I had a tools library itself. So that is the thing that really does everything. Is actually packaged up and available for use up on Nougat. Now as of the last time I checked which was a few days ago. There were 97 total downloads of the library. Which is rather impressive considering it's a niche product for a niche language. That I have not really advertised much of at all. So it's off to a good start. But yes to be clear it is absolutely beta code right now. But you can play around with it. Please do. Please file bug reports. Please file feature requests. I would really appreciate the feedback. And of course if you would like to contribute to the project at all. I would really appreciate that as well. I made sure that there was a file in the solution to provide the formatting standards and everything else. So you don't even really have to worry about that. If you open it up and I believe it's the dot editor config standard. But if you open it up and then the editor that supports that standard. It will automatically implement the correct stuff. And of course with me developing in Visual Studio. Visual Studio is one of those editors. But VS code is as well. Yeah. Play around with that because it is available for use. I'd really like your feedback. Yeah it's just a comment a little bit on how it's structured. The ID tools itself is really just the library. The other stuff I've written the other stuff in that solution. Are just interfaces to it or test suites. All the interfaces really do is call the stuff in the library and format the output. That's it. This way everything is reusable. So if you want to do a GUI based tool or something else entirely like a build server or whatever. It can be done without having to write new code. Or without having to call these command line tools. Because it's generally better if you don't have to do that kind of approach to development. The other big issue I have with working for these companies. Has to do very specifically with the off of me being autistic. And how it's largely a requirement to work in teams with extensive amount of collaboration. And even though it's not a written rule in many of these places. There is this. Forget what the name for the that type of culture is. But the business culture where you're largely expected to go out drinking and other shit with people. To be clear I have absolutely no problem with drinking. I'm very Irish. I drink a lot anyways. It's the required socialization that I have an issue with. Because with me being autistic there's some difficulties there anyways. And forcing it especially is very unpleasant. I would even argue illegal given the whole thing with the ADA and EEOC. But their approach is largely to say that oh hey this is a required part of our business. Because it's for collaborating on the projects. Even though it's not ever about collaborating on the projects. If you ever actually go out to these things. It almost seems like these fucking ass hats can't make friends because they're such pieces of shit. That they have to largely force it their own coworkers and subordinates to be their friend. Just fucking pathetic. It's like come on when somebody who's on autistic has an easier time making friends than you. Clearly you're fucking doing things wrong. But you know how arrogant middle management business people get. So yeah. Find it easier to work in very small teams where. Or even just by myself. But very small teams where communication and friendships and things like that just happen more organically rather than forced. I don't know what it is but for some reason these tech businesses really just force this kind of culture hardcore. Startups especially but I've seen issues of this nature in in bigger places like I've mentioned. And of course certain big businesses big tech businesses have an additional problem with them being so ridiculously politically correct. Google is a great example of this. Well they'll look at me someone like me and see straight white male. And think that I'm privileged and do all these things to your strict access to things because hey we we need to provide this to those less fortunate. And absolutely no regard to. That I'm illegally recognized as being disabled. Whereas these other people that these businesses will cater to instead are just recognized as being disadvantaged not disabled. But that's how they operate and I just rather have no part of it. I'm very passionate about programming and I want to focus on the actual code the actual projects the actual solutions. Not the business culture so I find it way easier to operate with this stuff on the side. Maybe turn some of this stuff into a business I'm sure there's parts of what I do that I could actually market to like a B2B business model. Business to business for those not familiar with the lingo. I just I don't I don't want to work for these businesses. I don't even as even as social as medical work has to be. I can do that I've done that but it's focused on the job. I just rather do other types of work.