 The Jack Bendy Program, presented by Lucky Strike.차-a-a-e-s-s-a-e-m, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um, um. LSMFT, Lucky Strike, means Fine Tobacco. Just listen to the words of Colonel Hart Shoemaker, Tobacco Auctioneer, said, At thousands of auctions, I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike by good, ripe, mild tobacco. Ed L. Isaacs, 22 years of tobacco warehouseman, said. Season after season, I've seen the makers of Lucky Strike by fine, good-tasting tobacco. My own cigarette for more than 15 years have been lucky. Yes, independent tobacco experts can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. Fine, light, naturally mild tobacco. Remember, LSMFT, Lucky Strike means fine tobacco and in a cigarette it's the tobacco that counts. So for your own real deep down smoky enjoyment, smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike, so round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Barry Livingston, Phil Harris, Rochester, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Dodd Wilson. Ladies and gentlemen, tonight Jack Benny leaves for Chicago where he starts his vote bill tour this Friday. So let's go out to Jack's house where we find Rochester helping him pack. Rochester, did you pack my socks? Yes, boss, I put them right next to the underwear. Good, good. Now let's see, we'll be on the train for two days, that's six meals. You better pack 12 sandwiches. Better make it 14, I have company some night. Well, it looks like all my clothes are in. Did you bring along my stuff from the medicine cabinet? Yes, sir, I packed your nerve tonic, stomach tonic, liver tonic, heart tonic, brain tonic, muscle tonic, blood tonic, and tonic tonic. Tonic tonic, what have I got that for? In case any of the other tonics get run down, that's what they take. Now make sure they're all packed well so they won't break. And oh yes, Rochester, take my golf clubs along. I'm going to play in Chicago. Yes, sir. You better take two golf balls, I might play in New York, too. Say, boss, when you're in Chicago, are you going over to visit your hometown? Yeah, good ol' Walkiegan. Yeah, I'll see my cousin Cliff Gordon and my boyhood friend Julia Sennigan. I wonder what kind of presents I ought to bring them. Well, what kind of a man is your cousin or is your friend? A friend? Well, he's retired. He spends most of his time working for his lodge. He belongs to a lodge? Yes, he's a moose. Oh, I got it. I'll get him a hat rack. He'll like that. I got the idea from a joke I did on my program a few weeks ago. You know, like a moose needs a hat rack. I can't understand why I didn't get a laugh. Maybe it isn't funny. It could be. I don't know. Norman Krasner was mad about it. Rochester, are you... Rochester, are you all packed? Yes, sir. Good. Oh, you know, I kind of hate to leave California, especially at this time of year, when the sun is shining, the flowers are blooming, and the birds are singing. Yeah, I know just how you feel. Imagine me giving up all this fresh air and sunshine just to go back to stuffy old Harlem. What are you doing, Rochester? Taking some of your brain tonic. I'm talking like an idiot. You know, oh, my goodness, I almost forgot my little black book. You know, I have some wonderful numbers for New York and Chicago. Oh, you left it right there on the dresser. Yeah, here it is. Ah, what girl? Joan Robertson, Geraldine Simmons. Ah, that Geraldine Simmons. Hilda Butts. Julia... Julia Wadsworth. Barbara Fritchie. Barbara? Barbara Fritchie, she's dead. She is? Well, I'll put the book in the trunk. Everything else in? Everything. Good, now close it and lock it. Now, Rochester, I want to see if the burglar-proof lock I put on works. Open the trunk again. Yes, sir. I wonder if that's loud enough to wake up the baggage man. That's loud enough to wake up Barbara Fritchie. Yeah, I guess so. I'm going to phone Phil Harris and see if he's ready. Don't worry, Jackson, I'll be there. Goodbye. That was Jackson, honey. Oh, I thought it was the drugstore. Drugstore? They made a mistake and delivered the wrong bobby pins. Well, what's wrong with the bobby pins they sent? They're not the right color. They're too dark for me and too light for you. Oh, let's take them anyway and rough it. Don't feel I like traveling, but it seems a shame to leave our home and start living in hotel. Yeah, especially when we have a house like this. Gee, honey, it's really beautiful. The rooms are so big and airy and furnished so nicely. It's the most beautiful home I've ever had. Alice, how much did it cost you? What's this little black book? Huh? Well, I'll be darned. That's that little address book I used to keep before we got married. Ah, you dream book if you could only talk. Let me look at some of the names and numbers. No, Alice, no, after all. Oh, come on, Phil. Let me look. That's a good boy. Geraldine Simmons. Ah, yeah, that Geraldine Simmons. And look, Phil. You used to write notations after each name. Yeah. Marjorie Kraus Redhead has swimming pool. Peggy Floodbrunette has car. Alice Faye Blonde has possibilities. Why, Phil Harris. Don't get mad, honey. You're the one that got me. You got me. I even turned down Geraldine Simmons. Hey, excuse me, honey, I got to call Dennis and find out what songs he's going to do on the trip. I haven't decided yet, Phil. I'll talk to you later about them. OK, Phil, I got to hang up now. My mother's helping me pack. Goodbye. My little boy is going away from me. Now, now, mother, don't cry. And Dennis, next Sunday will be Mother's Day, and you won't be here. I know, but last year when I was on the road, I remembered Mother's Day. Yes, Dennis. But this year, son, no matter what Mr. Benny tells you, you're supposed to send the candy to me, not him. Mother, everyone on the program gives Mr. Benny presents on Mother's Day. It says so in our contracts. The nerve of Mr. Benny, leaving his parrot here while he's out of town. You know, mother, that's a very clever parrot. It sounds just like Mr. Benny. If it had it to pay, it would look like him, too. Well, it'd be all right for me to take Ms. Livingston out to dinner in Chicago. Well, yes, Dennis, Mary's a nice girl. Oh, well, I'll take her anyhow. I'll miss you so much when you're gone, but I hope you enjoy yourself. Oh, I will, mother. I like Chicago and May, and the people out there are all crazy about me. They think I'm a great comedian, and I'm very funny. What makes you say that, Dennis? Well, last year when I was in Chicago, I went swimming in Lake Michigan, and all the people at the beach stood around watching me and laughing at me. I'm going to swim in the lake again and see if I'm still popular. Well, in that case, I'd better pack your bathing suit. Oh, bathing suit? Go into the other room with your parlor. Yes, ma'am. Son, the years keep passing, and now you're a man. I am? Could be. Now, son, it's time you knew the facts of life. You know, I was just your age when I took my first trip, son, and it was to Chicago, too. And it was there I first met your mother. Yes? So son, for goodness sake, be careful. Now, before you go, here's something I used to treasure when I was single. It might come in handy to you. Gee, a little black address book. Yes, it has some wonderful numbers in it. Jeanette Ironman, Rosalind Browning, Geraldine Simmons. That's Geraldine Simmons. Bernice Smith, Mrs. Ella Rawlins, Tilly Foster, Mrs. Harriet Webster, father, did you go out with married women, too? I didn't ask questions. I just had fun. The only girl I'm going out with is Mary Livingston. And I think I'll call her up now and ask for a date in Chicago. I certainly, Dennis, will have dinner together the first night we're in Chicago. And thanks a lot. No, no, you needn't bother coming over here. My sister, Babe, is helping me pack. OK. Goodbye, see you at the station. Say, Mary, do you go out with Dennis Day? Oh, once in a while, Babe. I think he has a slight crush on me. Well, I think he's cute. Oh, he is. He has such a wonderful voice. Yeah. You know, before my voice changed, I was a tenor, too. Let's finish my packing. You know, Mary, I can't get over how surprised you were when I came out here to visit you from Plainfield. Well, I just wasn't expecting you, that's all. Gee, when I first telephoned you and said, guess who? You sounded so thrilled. Yeah, I thought you were Charles Boyer. I'll put my cosmetics here, my rouge, lipstick, manicure set, perma-nail, and perfume. Say, Mary, where did you get this tremendous bottle of perfume? Oh, Jack gave it to me for Christmas. Is it good? It must be. Phil Harris tasted it and said it was swell. There, I get them all packed. Mary, you left this out. Oh, that's my address book. You mind if I look through it? No, go right ahead. Harold Warren, Arthur Cook, Frank Rembley, William Carter, Geraldine Simmons, Geraldine Simmons, who's she? Don't you remember? That's Mama's stage name. Oh, yes. Say, Mary, what station are you leaving from? Oh, I think it's the Union Station. But I'll check with Don Wilson. He always knows those things. That's right, Mary, the Union Station. You're welcome. Oh, thanks, but my wife's driving me down. Goodbye. Gee, Don, I hate to see you go. Oh, I hate to leave you there. The house will seem so empty without you. I know. You remember all the things I told you. Oh, I remember, dear. I'm to go to bed early. I must wear my long underwear until May 15th. I should take my sulfur and molasses every day, and I shouldn't play cards with strangers. Or Mr. Benny either. And another thing, every night before going to sleep, you must do your exercises. You must bend down and touch your toes 100 times. Oh, boss, come now. Now, everything's ready. And we've got Donald's. What's this little black address book? Oh, my goodness, honey. That's something private. Private? But Donald, we're married. We should have no secrets from each other. Honey, please don't ask any questions and give it back to me. Certainly not. I'm going to look through it. Effie Boone, Beattie Rick, LSMFT O'Brien, Dean Simmons. I don't know. This used to be my father's book. Now, let's put the baggage in the car. Gee, there's packing with some job, two trunks, four valises, two fortnighters, and oh. Oh, my goodness. Donald, what's the matter? What am I packing for? I'm not even going. Anyway, Jack and the gang must be on their way to the station by now. I'd better get on and see them off. Well, here's the station, Mary. I hope the gang is late. Here, let me help you. Thanks. Say, Jack, who's going to be with you on your stage show at the Chicago Theater? Well, there'll be Phil Harris, Rochester, Marjorie Reynolds, the sportsman Quartet, and myself. Gee, what an important cast. How are you building the show? Jack, Benny, and friends. Come on, Mary, let's, uh. Oh, boss, boss. Oh, there's Rochester. Rochester, take my bag to the train. Yes, sir. Jack, have you had an upper berth or a lower berth? He's got an upper berth. How do you know? Because I'm going to get there first. We'll see about that. Well, why don't you toss for it? Oh, no, we won't. I know what happened the last time I tossed. What happened? He took a quarter out of his pocket, flipped it into the air, caught it in his hand, it slipped through his fingers, hit the floor, rolled under the seat, and while he was looking for it, I had a good night's sleep. I never did find it. I hope we have the same car today. Now, take care of this luggage. Come on, Mary, let's go to the station. Mary, there's Dennis. Dennis, what's that tag on your lapel? When I told my mother I was going on a long trip, she tied it on me. Your mother put a tag on your lapel? Let me see it. To whom it may concern, the bearer of this tag is Dennis Day. If lost, mind your own business. Your mother did the same thing last time, Dennis. She certainly has a wonderful sense of humor. Then why didn't she laugh when I came home? I don't know. I'll be right back, kids. I'm going over to validate the tickets. This is for Glendale, Barstow, and Block Camara. I wonder which ticket window I should go to. I beg your pardon, mister, but are you validating tickets? What do you think I'm doing with this rubber stamp voting for Hoover? Look, mister, all I want to do is get these tickets validated. That's all. I'm going to Chicago. Chicago? Well. Yeah. I'm returning in four weeks. I knew there was a catch to it. Now, look, mister, I'm going to report you to the station, master, and see. Pardon me just a moment. I'm in a hurry. Do you mind if I go first? No, no, it's quite all right. And what can I do for you, sir? Well, I'd like to know something. I just heard the train announces say that the train on track eight now goes to Glendale, Barstow, and Block Camara. That's right. Now, what is it you want to know? How are things in Glendale, Barstow, and Block Camara? Is that little brook still leaping there? Yes, yes, it is. Does it still run down to Donnie Cove through Killie Begg's Kilkari in Kissel? Yes, it does. Is that willow tree still weeping there? Uh-huh. Does that lassie with the twinklin' eye come smiling by? And does she walk away sad and dreamy there, not to see me there? Yes, yes, you got it. Give me a ticket to West Los Angeles. It is your ticket and have a pleasant trip. Thanks. To him, he's got to be nice yet. Now, what are you mumbling about? Look, Mr. All I want you to do is validate my ticket. All right, all right. Don't be mad at me. Just validate my ticket. Give me your ticket. Parlor car, poolman, coach, parlor car, parlor car, cattle car. Wait a minute. You've got a batch of tickets here for the cattle car. Yeah, we're taking Phil Harris' orchestra with us. Don't forget to spray them with sheep dead. Now, give me those tickets. I got to get back to my dad. Galanga, word has just come from Anaheim that the tracks have been washed out by orange juice. Beat that. Hey, Mary, something must have happened to the loudspeaker. Ladies and gentlemen, please excuse that pause. I was fated by the vice president of the railroad. Gee, they do it here, too. What about him sleeping in the lower berth? Only if he beats me to it. Now, I'll give you eight to five. He wins. What makes you so sure? He just walked by here in his pajamas. He won't do them any good. I'll still beat him to the lower berth. Well, you better hurry. He's brushing his teeth at the drinking fountain. Rochester. Good night, boss. Come back. You bought that candle. You're not fooling anybody. Now, Rochester, is this the rest of my luggage right here? Yes, sir. Say, Jack. What? What have you got here in this big crate? It's nothing, Mary. Nothing. Rochester, get it on the train. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm going to look and see what's in that crate. Mary, get away from there. Now, Mary, don't lift that lid. I will, too. I'll be darned. Gee, I hope the conductor didn't hear them. Say, fellas, in case anything happens, you know what train we're taking, don't you? Do you hear that whistle down the line? We figure that it's engine number 49. She's the only one that'll sound that way on the Atchison to Peacock and the Santa Fe. See the old spoke rising round the bend. It's from a lucky strike, they're puffin' on one end. Folks around these parts smoke a lot because they're on the Atchison to Peacock and the Santa Claus. Santa Claus? Lucky strike. L-A-S-A-M-A-S-A, around so firm so fully packed. Look, fellas. The conductor'll hear you, boy. You can smoke a measure, glidin' rightin' down the track. Oh, every boon. Boy, it's not so loud. Boy, the conductor will hear. This land is so hard, you might have heard him. Let me see. I knew it. You shook him up. The base is in the middle and the tenor's on top. Rochester, I've got the lid locked. Now, put this crate on the train. Oh, boss, I can't lift that thing. Well, how'd you get it down here? I put eight holes in the bottom and it walked. Now, look, Mary, we better get back to the station. Hello, Mr. Benny. I'm the intrusion. Oh, Mr. Kitzel. What are you doing at the railroad station? I'm taking a trip to New York. Well, well, all the way to New York. Yes, and I can see my wife's face now. Boy, will she be surprised. Oh, she doesn't know you're coming. She doesn't know I'm going. Mr. Kitzel, don't tell me you had an argument with your wife. It isn't my wife. It's our relatives. Your relatives, eh? Well, are a lot of them living with you? Do you think the station is crowded? At the last count, 36 relatives came to live with us. 36 relatives? Yeah, 12 of them were taking their word. They have no birth certificates. Oh, I see. What a crowd in my house. Every place they're sleeping on the couches, on the beds, on the chairs, and on top of the piano is my cousin Murphy. Murphy, your cousin? He's one of the 12. We're taking his word for it. Oh, oh. A bulletin from the lost and found department just came in. Will the owners please claim the following. A pecanese, an umbrella, and a young man with a tag in his lapel. Oh, my goodness, that must be Dennis. Mary, you get him. I'll stand in line. Arriving at the lower end of the station, the lark. Oh, Martha. Martha, we just made it. Yes. And there's Jack Benny standing in line. Shall we go over and give Mr. Benny the flowers we brought for him? Yes, I guess we're better. You know, Emily, we would never have had the courage to come down here if we hadn't split that bottle of ginger beer. You're so right, kid. He might as well go and give him the flowers. Oh, Mr. Benny. Mr. Benny. Huh? Oh, hello, girls. I came down to give you this as a going away gift. Well, what do you know? An orchid. Oh, girls, you shouldn't have gone at this expense. Oh, we didn't buy it. Emily won it at Tom Breneman's. Well, isn't that nice? Yes, and we want you to have it. Well, thank you very, very much. Thank you. Go ahead, Emily. Ask him. No, you ask him. No, you ask him. Oh, well, all right. Mr. Benny. Yes. Is this your first orchid? Yes, it is. Well, you know what that means, Mr. Benny. I'll have to kiss you. A little kiss? Why, certainly. Well, what do you know? I kissed Emily and Martha fainted. Gee. Hurry, Mary. There's going to be trouble. Come on, kids. Gentlemen, during 1946, 1,200,000 people were killed or injured in city traffic and on the highways. At that rate, someone is injured every 30 seconds and killed every 15 seconds. Careless driving, speeding, and drinking play a part in approximately half of the fatal accidents. So please be careful. The life you save may be your own. Thank you. Now, Jack will be back in just a moment. But first, here is Basil Riesdale. As you listen to the chant of the tobacco auctioneer, remember, L-S-M-F-T. Chili-fiftieservus... Lucky strike means fine tobacco. And in a cigarette, it's a tobacco that counts. Mr. William Whitley of Henderson, North Carolina is a man who really knows tobacco. An independent tobacco auctioneer for 18 years, he said... At hundreds of tobacco auctions I've seen the makers of Lucky strike by fine, ripe, fragrant tobacco that makes a fine smoke. I've smoked Lucky's for 13 years. for 13 years. Quote, find ripe, fragrant tobacco that makes a fine smoke. Unquote, independent tobacco experts like Mr. Whitley can see the makers of Lucky Strike consistently select and buy that fine, that light, that naturally mild tobacco. Fine, light, naturally mild tobacco. Real Lucky Strike tobacco. LSMFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Year in, year out. LSMFT. Lucky Strike means fine tobacco. Yes, fine tobacco that means real deep down smoking enjoyment for you. So smoke that smoke of fine tobacco, Lucky Strike. So round, so firm, so fully packed, so free and easy on the draw. Well, Mary, here we are on the train. On Friday, we'll be opening at the Chicago Theater in Chicago. It'll be good to get on the stage again. Yeah. Well, I'm going to my apartment at rest. I'm kind of tired. It's in the next car. OK, see you later, Mary. OK, Jack. Well, I might as well relax myself. Rochester. Rochester, get out of that lower berth. Rochester, get out of that lower berth. What'd you say, boss? Oh, never mind. Porter, bring me the ladder. Even national broadcasting company.