 This video is sponsored by short form. Are we done pretending like hooking up with men or being intimate with men who don't respect us is empowering? Here's the premise. We were lied to. People used to tell us that intimacy was a sacred thing that was set apart for only people who were married. And that if you give yourself away to someone, in that way, you'll only experience heartbreak, broken attachment, and commitment issues. But the truth is that intimacy is just a physical act, no more and no less. And the lack of commitment within a hookup is an asset, not a bug. The only reason that it was regarded as a sacred act was because Christian morality was guiding our culture. Women specifically have been sexually repressed. We need to undo the work of Christian morality in our culture and give them back their sexual autonomy. Everyone should be able to do whatever they want with whomever they want, whenever they want. That is the most liberating sexuality. This was the promise. Sleeping with whomever you want, whenever you want is empowering and fulfilling. As long as you're careful, you won't get emotionally attached and experience adverse feelings. Okay, so we heard the premise and the promise, but what's the problem? I just tell the truth and telling the truth is crazy and a world full of lies. No, I really f***ing hate you. Well, the truth is that Gen Z is actually beginning to see the lie that hookup culture actually produces. It says, hey, you're going to experience fulfillment empowerment by just sleeping with whomever you want to. For a lot of people, they realize, hey, man, this is not really offering us what we thought it would. It's not delivering what it had promised us. The heart of hookup culture is honestly godless. It's this idea that you can sleep with whomever you want to sleep with and there's no ramifications or consequences. And that's just treating us basically like animals. Like we can just go from one person to the next person and there's no bigger picture at play here. And honestly, it kind of began in the 60s with the sexual revolution and birth control and where abortion is free, which made the idea of a one night stand or we can fling that much more approachable because look, there's not as many consequences. It's not a big deal. But what we're neglecting to realize is that we're not just like physical bodies. We're not just like animals, even though that's what the university college system that's promoting this kind of idea would have you think, which is so, you know, it makes perfect sense. It's like, of course, you're going to go to university and want to experience the hookup culture because all your professors are telling you that your life is meaningless, that there's no intrinsic value or worth or dignity, that there in fact is no difference between genders. So, so why would we take extra care in being conscientious of women's vulnerability? And but no, no, no, we're all the same. Everybody's the same. So, you know, I can just do what I want to do. It's like, of course, this is what's come out of the university system. It's really destructive. That being said, the lie is that there's no accountability that I can just do what I want. And because it's my body, I can, I can empower myself in this way. But the truth is, is that God is the judge over everything. And he said what is right and what is wrong. And when we go against that, man, we are guilty before God. 1 Corinthians 16.3 says, Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. I think that's so interesting because it's so counter to what we're told in this world. We're told to actually experience these kind of sexual experiences in order that we aid ourselves, that we fulfill our needs. But the Bible is actually saying that we're sinning against ourselves, that we're actually kind of destroying what's going on as opposed to building it up. While we think we're empowering ourselves, we're becoming weaker because we're stepping into something that God does not want for us. I want to take a closer look at hookup culture for a bit. I think the primary issue is the sexual elements connected with it. People want to express their sexuality. They want that sexual pleasure that comes from a one-night stand or whatever else. But I don't think that's just the issue. I think at the heart of a lot of people they want to be loved. They want to be wanted. Before we continue on with today's video, I want to tell you a little bit about today's sponsor, Shortform. Shortform has the world's best guides to thousands of non-fiction books. I use Shortform for overviews on books that I'm curious about that I can apply to my life and ministry. A few of my favorite genres are productivity, leadership, and business. I just finished the guide to the book, Steal Like an Artist by Austin Cleon. One of the helpful takeaways that I got from the book was that there are no truly original ideas, and instead of trying to focus all your energy on coming up with something completely new and fresh, you should think about how to bring value to people's lives. So Shortform drops new book guides and articles every week, and they let subscribers vote on what books they want to cover. By joining through my link in the description, shortform.com slash daily disciple. You'll receive five days of unlimited access and 20% off an annual subscription. This will give you access to thousands of book guides for like the price of one book a month. Thanks so much to Shortform for sponsoring this video. Now let's get back into it. This is what I have to say about hookup culture. It's kind of f***ing things up, honestly. It's just like, do people really like hookup culture? I don't think so. I feel like people- The men do. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I don't really think they do either. I think they just feel kind of, I think it's just a way to, it's a coping mechanism for a sense of like emptiness. And so what the world is finding out is that sexual connection without commitment is dangerous. They recognize that. They say, okay, wait, like we have these deep longings in our heart to be known, to be connected, to be wanted, to be cared for. And yet we're kind of giving ourselves away in this way. There's not that commitment there long term and they're just kind of out the next day. And that feels really bad. That feels terrible. So as women, are we done pretending like hooking up with men or being intimate with men who don't respect us at all and actually actively dislike us or actively are using us and actively don't have any, an ounce of a shred of respect or care for us is empowering? Are we done pretending like that's empowering or even healthy? We don't want this. We want commitment. And they're missing something key here. I notice a lot with the world is, what they'll do is they'll identify a problem that is there, that is real, but they'll address it with a solution that is incomplete, right? And the incomplete solution here is that it's not just about commitment. What God has actually ordained from the very beginning from Adam and Eve, when Man shall leave his father and his mother and be made one flesh with his wife, was covenant, a marriage covenant made before God and man to say, I will be with you till the day I die. I will care for you despite sickness, despite anything that may come up. I am here for you. I am your person. And that is powerful because it is made before God. It is a binding agreement and you can't just kind of decide one day, I'm gonna dip, right? And sometimes that happens. Sometimes people do kind of unbiblically leave their marriages or they do abandon their person. And when that happens, man, so much brokenness occurs, but that's when you go against God's order. We're noticing something here that when we take things into our own hands and go against God's designed order in order to make ourselves feel more satisfied or fulfilled and like, no, no God, this is what I truly need. I don't wanna really focus on what you got to say in this because these are my needs. We're gonna experience the destruction and consequences of that. With the growing trend of pornography addiction, it can be too easy to say to God, hey God, these are my needs. I don't have a person right now, so I'm just gonna give myself to this screen. I'm gonna bond myself with this screen, with this person on the screen, and then tomorrow it's gonna be somebody new. It's like a virtual hookup culture and it does tremendous damage for our soul. What are your thoughts on hookup culture in college? I think that's the only culture there should be. I don't believe in relationships in college. I'm just saying. Find yourself and then be in a relationship. Even when he says, you know, I think you should find yourself, then find a relationship. And she's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely. A lot of what people believe is finding yourself is sleeping with as many people as you can, or at least kind of testing the waters. Actually that's gonna cloud your judgment. It's actually gonna cloud your identity and who you think you are and who you believe you are because if you're constantly throwing yourself around at all these different people, right? It's like, you're gonna get this perspective of yourself. Like you're just an object, right? It's just somebody there for people to use and if people aren't respecting you in that way, that's teaching you something about yourself that isn't true. If you want to find yourself, you need to actually get to know the one who created you and what he says about you and what he has ordained for you and what he wants for you. Like that's where you find who you are. Two things I want to encourage you with here. The world is finding out that it's a lie. They're experiencing the emptiness that hookup culture has to offer, but they're trying to replace it with something that isn't full. They're saying, okay, well now I need to, I should just get my partner to commit more to me. That's what I gotta do. Know what we need truly is sexual healing. We need sexual freedom and the only way we can do that is experience freedom and healing in Christ. And that is for us, our message. We're coming forward to people and saying, hey, look, you're experiencing the lie that the world has to offer. Here's the truth of Jesus. And the second thing, if you have found yourself caught up in hookup culture either now or in the past and you're still feeling guilt about that, I want you to know that there is complete forgiveness in Jesus that regardless of what you've done in your past, you can be forgiven and actually find healing in Jesus. It doesn't mean it's going to be an easy road. It doesn't mean it's all going to be fixed right away, but that's where we begin. So I just want to invite you into that. You're not a less than Christian because you've had sex outside of marriage, but you do need to give that to Jesus. You do need to repent of that. And he will forgive you. And you know what? Your story, the fact that you've been through this, that this was your past, that this was who you once were and God has transformed you and brought you out of that. That's going to be an amazing testimony for you to share to other people and to minister to those who have gone through the same thing and say, hey, look, I know that what you're looking for in this, it's not going to provide this. It's a lie. And I want you to come to Jesus. Look at what Jesus says about this and who he says you are. That is going to be an amazing thing. And I'm excited for you in that. Now, the likelihood is that most of you aren't tempted to go out and just sleep with random people and just kind of engage in hookup culture. But maybe your thing is lust. Maybe you are tempted to lust or maybe it's sexual fantasies or you know, whatever that thing is for you, make sure you get a hold of that and admit that to God and give it over to God because it is a lie. Those things see, you know, we might tell ourselves, this is to satisfy me, this to empower me, this to meet my needs. Just give me, you know, some sort of gratification, instant gratification. It's like these things will not satisfy you. When you're outside of God's plan and his commands, they'll always leave you empty. They'll always leave you with this sense of, man, that just wasn't worth it. That just wasn't worth it. And the more we can give that over to God and actually learn from that and be like, you know what, God, I'm not even going to go down this path because it's not worth it. It's not worth it because your ways are so much better, so much better. And I know a lot of you have a desire to be married and to be in that relationship. And I'm excited for you, but you're in the season of being single or whatever that looks like for you. And it's tough and it's hard and you don't want to give over to these temptations. I just want to encourage you with this. God's got you, right? I don't know what he's doing beneath the surface, but I know he has you in this season for a particular reason. And he wants to develop and grow you in it and get you to trust him and not take things into your own hands in order to get what you think you need. Give that over to him. He is good. Thanks so much for watching, guys. If you enjoyed it, subscribe because I'm putting out new videos all the time. I will see you next time. God bless.