 what did you gather from me with this conversation? Be more specific. What did I gather from you like personally or with like what you're going through on YouTube? I mean, both honestly. Respectfully, I gathered that you want to understand men. Let me rephrase it. You want to want to understand men. Does that make sense? I want to understand men. You want to want to understand men. However, I think there is some reservation that it might compromise who you are. Like you would be giving something up. And I think that is kind of creating some resistance with actually hearing what it is that I was saying and the context that I was trying to add to the conversation because there was a lot of, yeah, but. When Courtney Michelle and I did a conversation, we had a whole stream about sex. One of the things that was brought up is this whole how long should a man last in bed, right? And there was a street interview that we referenced and the young lady said, well, if my stuff is good, he probably won't last long, right? The counterintuitive truth there is a dude who's able to fuck you for two hours straight is either number one, getting so much sex that your shit don't really do nothing for him. Or number two, your shit is dap, not wap. What? Okay. So, and that's counterintuitive because we're taught that, you know, if it's good, he's going to want to stay and boom, boom, boom, boom. So similarly to bring it to what you're saying, a dude who is unconcerned with who other potential suitors are and da, da, da. Either number one, he already has you locked down. What do you mean by locked down? He already has you locked like he's already slept with you, he knows that you're not going to wear or not talking about, we're not talking about that. No, you're right, you're right. I'm talking about they're all suitors, right? You're not sleeping with them. Sure. I'm sorry that some women don't have self-control. That's sad. I agree with you, I agree with you. If you are a woman that's saying, there's no way, that means you don't have self-control over your body. Okay, so or like I said, or again, I think for the sake of this conversation, we're going to assume I know niggas, right? I know men, I've been a niggas and I know niggas. With that being said, that dude who doesn't care, don't like you that much. No, I don't agree, I don't agree. Because I know women who have dated and the man was, didn't care. And that's their man, they got engaged to that person. They eventually married that person, like I'm sorry, but maybe it's just this YouTube thing, but like we don't deal with insecure men. Like I think it's an insecurity thing. And I don't stand on that. I think like I said, as long as you're not sleeping with people until you commit to that woman, you should be asking her questions of what she's doing on her downtime. Because she's not committed to you. She's only known you for a week. You're not entitled to her entire life. That's not the point I'm making. I think you're missing the point I'm making. Like I said, like I said in the beginning, we're going to assume I know men a bit better than the average woman. And I know women. Sure. And right now we're talking about men and their motivations. So with that being said, we're not talking about insecurity. That's not what I'm saying. But what I'm saying to you is on the macro, cause we can all come up with anecdotal evidence to reject whatever it is that we don't want to agree with. But on the macro, if a guy really does like you and really does want you, it will bother him if you are entertaining other men. How can you like me that fast? If it does not, because again, I'm speaking to a man who's actually done his due diligence on you as well. So you're not just a random girl. Like he's done his own research. So you're like, you know what I'm saying? This is somebody I really want to pursue seriously. With that being said, if he is okay, if he is okay with it. And again, I've been a dude. It's either number one, he doesn't really care about you or number two, he views you as a trophy. I don't agree. Cause I've seen women do that when they got married. I just said, we can all come up with anecdotal experiences to negate anything. So I'm speaking on the macro. Cause I'm sure there's examples that don't line up with what I'm saying. Obviously. But on the macro, we can only speak in generalities cause everybody's not Alan. Everybody's not being tailored. The men are not asking them, who are you with? Like, like crazy territorial people. I'm not talking, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking behind the scenes. I'm talking about, I'm trying to tell you what's going on in men's mind. And we might not vocalize it, but I'm trying to tell you what's going on behind the scenes. When they first meet a woman, they want to sleep with her. Yes. Right. So what makes a man look at a woman more than just something they want to sleep with? They what? Get to know her. So if a woman knows that you're only approaching me right now because you want to sleep with me. Right? You don't even like me yet. I'm not talking, I'm not talking about like he likes you just off the bat meeting you. I'm talking about, y'all been talking for a while. You've got to know each other a little bit. That's what I'm talking about. That's where you're losing me. Cause I clearly stated that if you are talking. At what point do you dismiss the other guys? Let's kind of figure it out. Right. At what point? Yeah. Cause like that's what I'm saying like a week. Like what are you guys doing? No, if I'm talking to a guy and we went on one date and the date went great, I'm going to be excited for the second date. And whoever I was talking to before him and if we not really like on that level, like the pressure that he's putting on, I'm going to slowly fade away from them. Like, you know, and then as I go on the second day and he's letting me know that maybe what I would say, it doesn't take that long for a man to know if he wants to be with you, right? I say, I give it about six weeks to eight weeks. That's when a man should know if he wants to be with you. So during those periods of y'all getting to know each other and he's really showing up, he's being consistent. He's hitting you up every day. Y'all was talking on a phone every day. Y'all seen each other. He's planning dates. Anytime he talks about the future, he's adding you in it. That's a man you cannot risk losing for some dudes that y'all are just probably texting here and there and there. So have there's been, and it's just like, has there been a situation where two men at once are putting pressure? You're going to go with the man that you like the most and brush off the other ones until, and then eventually they're going to, you know, they're going to go their own way. They may still hit you up, but you're not paying them no mind, no attention anymore. And then I think by that eighth week, six week mark, you should ask him, hey, where are we going with this? Where, I think women shouldn't be scared to ask, hey, where are we going with this? You know, like, is it just me and you? Like, where are we going with this? And he'll let you know right then and there, I want you to be my woman. I want to be committed. That's when you don't play around anymore. Like don't even, they should be blocked at this point. Everybody should be blocked at this point. That's where I say it. One of the things that I bring up a lot as far as, you know, why so many of our women are having such a hard time and dating these days is because a lot of our women, number one, they neglect the self work and the understanding of self. And number two, and I think this is vital, they enter the relationship beginning stages in bad faith. Like they enter it expecting things to go bad. So they feel this sense of having a backup plan, having an alternative. And again, that's okay if you don't want certain outcomes. But for the women who might be watching this, who might listen to this later, who want the outcome of monogamy, want the outcome of marriage even, the one at a time gets you to that better than the best man. Why are there so many women saying their time was wasted and they stayed too long trying to make something work because they really put all their eggs and invested. One thing a woman hates is investing so much of her time in a man. Because y'all telling us constantly, if I've been with you for this amount of months and I'm invested so much of my time, one thing a woman hates is starting over. Okay, so to say that. But remember the first thing I said is an understanding of herself. No, the first thing I said was an understanding of herself and what it is that she needs. Unfortunately women, and I've said this before jokingly, women spend more time on a motherfucker's Instagram instead of his LinkedIn. So a lot of women unfortunately prioritize superficial aspects of masculinity. Because they barely understand femininity so they don't know what to look for or how to vet men. And that's why they end up spending and wasting so much time with shitty dudes. And later on instead of taking some kind of accountability of the part they played in the toxicity and choosing that, they would rather say, I'ma just switch up my tactic as opposed to getting to know myself better. Because again, not only have I participated in this, I've seen these things play out. The women who are just dating because it's fun and may the best man win. Typically, there are one offs. Like you said, I agree with you. But typically that does not end well because that woman continues to obfuscate responsibility to every external factor outside of herself as opposed to recognizing that I am the common denominator with each of these guys and all this time that I've wasted. You can use the same analogy with a job. You could use the same analogy with religion even now with sex changes. If you are unwilling to start with a deep and nuanced look at yourself, it doesn't matter which path you go down. It won't work.