 Well, hello and welcome to Understand Men Now. I'm Jonathan Asley of johnathanasley.com, and I'm so excited to be shooting this short video for you today. Our topic, well, this long distance relationship work, four questions to ask. You've got to ask these four questions before you even dive into a long distance relationship. Really quickly, if you're new to my YouTube channel, please hit the subscribe, hit the bell so you can be notified of new content. I shoot about three or four videos per week. And please send this video out to friends. I really could use your help. All right, let's get into those four questions to ask about a long distance relationship. OK, so it's very fascinating to me, but I want you to think about this for a second. Up until about, well, certainly up until about 50 years ago, the idea of long distance relationship was so rare. I mean, I know some people in the 70s might have met at Club Med at a singles event. They might have lived in two different states or two parts of the different parts of the country. And because they connected there, they started to explore a long distance relationship. But these days, since we're meeting through these little devices called a smartphone in our laptops, a lot of people are connecting with people all over the country. And then they begin engaging in a little bit of flirtation. They begin in connecting. They start communicating with one another. And all of a sudden, people start getting attached to people who aren't even remotely live close. Now, here's the thing. Long distance actually can be 30 miles. I live in Los Angeles, and someone who lives 30 miles away is an hour and a half drive sometimes. So that's even a long distance relationship. So let's differentiate between you live in the same basically state versus those that live out of state, or literally more than, let's just say, 50 miles away, OK? Here's the thing about long distance relationship. It's hard to make a relationship work when you live in the same city, let alone another state or different part of the world. And I'm seeing a lot of people investing time and long distance relationships that go nowhere because they're not asking the really serious questions. In addition, long distance relationships, oftentimes people choose those because they're lonely. They want companionship. They want connection. They want sex. But they're not able to really lean into a relationship. And I'm going to be talking about those four things so you can learn how to lean into a relationship much sooner. Because here's the thing. A lot of people choose long distance relationships, and they find themselves in what's called a bubble relationship. It's a bubble, meaning they get together once a month, maybe once every two months. They have a great time together. They have sex. And then they go back to their respective homes, and then they start communicating via these devices all day long. And then after a while, someone starts to pull away because the reality is it's hard to maintain incessant communication using these little devices. We need to be face to face. Because true communication, 70%, 80%, 90% of communication is nonverbal. It's not with our thumbs. It's being in their presence. It's seeing body language. And I know you can use Zoom or Skype to communicate, but it's still not the same. You don't feel their pheromones. You don't feel their testosterone and estrogen at the same time. That's why long distance relationships struggle. So I want to shift that for you if you're ever going to invest in a long distance relationship. And since my channel is for women, these are the questions to ask men before you ever allow the penis into the vagina. Can we make a deal? Just give me a thumbs up if you said, yes, I'm going to make a deal, Jonathan. First and foremost, first question to ask, given that we're long distance, ask the question, what does a long distance relationship look like to you? Do you have kind of a thought or plan on how this would work? In other words, how we'd go about spending time together. If someone doesn't have a plan or doesn't even have an awareness to a plan, then chances are they're just seeking connection to fill a void without any real intentionality or purpose. Let me repeat that, without any intentionality or purpose. Now, a lot of people are seeking connection because they're lonely. They don't feel good about themselves. They don't feel lovable. They don't feel likable. This is why I'm such a big proponent of people reading my book, What the Heck Is Self Love Anyway? There's a link below written by Jonathan Asley. Because a lot of people, men and women alike, are thirsty for connection. But they need to find the connection within themselves. Find that relationship within yourself first before you seek to get connection with someone else. And the follow up question, number two, is what does a committed relationship look like for you? What does a committed relationship look like for you? For example, I'm dating. I'm very crystal clear. When I speak to a woman, I say it looks like this. I want to spend three or four days and nights a week together doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, spending time with family and friends, teamwork, partnership efforts, traveling together, and eventually moving in together and getting married. That's what commitment looks like for me. So find out what it looks like for you. Ask the man what it looks like for him and see if you're on the same page. Now, if someone says to me two or three, I could live with that. If someone says one day every other week, that doesn't work for me. You got to find out what works for you. That's my invitation is what does commitment look like for you? And then the follow up question is, how will you know when you're ready to commit? What signs do you think you need to feel before you're ready for commitment? This is a deep question, but it's an important question. Because if a person doesn't know what they need to fully commit, then why would you want to invest in a long distance relationship that will most likely fizzle out? It'll preoccupy your time for a little bit, but it most likely will fizzle out. This is why I'm a huge proponent that if you're gonna consider a long distance relationship, read the book, Eight Dates, Eight Dates by John and Julie Gottman. This is the mechanics. Look at that. This is the mechanics to a healthy, happy relationship. Figure it out before you invest in a long distance relationship. And then lastly, and this is piggybacking before, what plans would you make to consider living in the same city? In other words, what kind of plans would you make? Ask this question before the penis gets to go in the vagina. Get a sense, does this person have a plan of what does a relationship look like, but then living in the same city? Because if that person isn't willing to move from where they're at, and maybe it's incumbent upon you, then you've gotta ask yourself, because you're gonna invest a lot of time with a person who may never want you to live in their same city. So talk about see, get a sense, do they have a plan before you ever invest in a long distance relationship? This is all about asking good questions before you ever meet, because you can waste a lot of time dicking around with people that are never gonna lead into anything. And I don't want you to do that. Is that a deal? All right, post a comment, ask a question below. I read them all. I'm gonna wrap up this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big gigantic Jonathan Bear hug of self love. I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love, if that's okay. I'm gonna ask you to turn to someone and give them a hug of love or even a pet or even a teddy bear because we could all use more love in our lives and hugs are a great source of love. I wanna thank you so much and wishing you a super duper wonderful day. Bye-bye now.