 One of the things we hear a lot is Especially like when it comes to feminism, especially black feminism Well, the reason we like this is because grandpa treated grandma so bad and my dad dad treated mom so bad and You know those women didn't have a voice those women didn't they got cheated on all the time This this and that one of the best rebuttals I've heard is Is Yeah, you think grandma was a saint or you think mom was a saint, but dad was raising kids that weren't even his type shit so talk about your situation and How it shaped Your understanding of the black family dynamic the good the bad ugly. Okay, so My dad Michael Miller may he rest in peace? Um He was to me the ideal black man, bro because Me being a man right now. I Looked back on some of the decisions he made for me and my brother who isn't his children and I say yo dude He was the goat. Yes, and I'm saying because I Can't imagine myself taking care of another man's child and Loving them to the extent that my dad loved me. I called him my dad because he was my dad. He knew me since I was two weeks old Yeah, he met my mother when I was two weeks old So when he met my mom he asked her she had kids. She said yeah, I got a four-year-old and I got a four He said the ages he she said four in two. I don't know why she said four in two, but she met four years. I was two weeks so From day one, bro, like even from all of the stories I heard from my mom He took us in and he loved us as his own, bro like There was never a doubt in my mind. You know what I'm saying and He helped shape me You know I'm saying because he was such a positive role model, bro You know I'm saying my my sister was his real child and I saw how hard that he fought to have a sister with I'm excuse me to have a relationship with my sister Because you know my mom had for some reason broke pulled the child support in and that tore the family up and He didn't deserve it because one thing about me. I was always a I Always paid attention to stuff. I was a very quiet kid I used I said my first sentence when I was six years old, but I knew how to talk I was just very observant. I'll just look and stare some and figure it out for myself and from a young age I understood bro like I never seen my mom with a job My dad always had a job So I always was able to rationalize and put stuff together that who I know who's taking care of us Financially, you know, I'm saying as a kid. That's probably none of my business But I was always able to put that together, you know So when a child support stuff and stuff started coming in and you know women have to lie sometimes to get their way I always knew it was cat You know, I'm saying so I was like my dad going through the works and my little sister She'd be a manipulator because she has no she she has no other Recollection of what's going on other than what her mommy's telling her and for clarity you tell my years stepdad my stepdad Yeah, my stepdad. Yeah was being a great father to me my older brother Which aren't his kids and my little sister which was his child. Yes, and I'm saying but um Long story short the relationship was broke up between my dad and my sister Because when child support came in and the courts came in visitation girl by my sister got Brainwashed and manipulated now. She hates her dad for reasons. That's not even true Because she got a person telling all your dad never loved you She never did he never did nothing for you and da da da da and look I got to go to court all day and look at all these papers and stuff like that So the little girl want to pay her dad for no reason and he was the one supporting us our whole life so I Was living with my mom up to the age 13 wound up going to stay with my dad And I asked him about like, you know The experience, you know, I'm saying and that'll do broke down crying telling me You know I'm saying show me receipts $80,000 here $40,000 here. I'm talking about per year, bro Paying all of this money not one thing I could never actually understand was how's my mom going on all these trips. You ain't got no job She used to go on mad trips, bro The best furniture was in our apartments. I never really thought about that part And then he showed me those receipts and I was like, hey, bro He was funding her going on vacation this whole time and all the clothes that she bought for the nation Me and my brother struggling. We ain't got nothing to wear I guess that's why when I finally got some get some sneakers out there. I can meet a girl I have much growing up but I'll be watching my sister had the world because she was getting those child support checks She wasn't supporting me and my brother, but it we just lived there sometimes with it. You know, so I'm saying but um When I moved over to my dad's house, man, it wasn't to spoil me, you know, I'm saying it was to Help mold me into a better Individual my brother had already turns his life to the streets and he ain't want to see me with doing that You know, I'm saying so his thing was yo, I got Jimmy here. I Got you. You my son. I love you. He used to tell me that all the time, bro Like here and I love you from a parent. It was like so new to me, bro Like you know, I'm saying so my dad was my best friend bro till the day he passed away You know, I'm saying and he helped me become the father I am today and Kind of the husband I am today. He was never a husband, but he had values, you know, I'm saying and yeah, I follow Muhammad do the lie Yeah, what was last did you have a relationship with your biological father? What was what did you have a relationship with your biological? Don't know who he is Yeah, never met him. I got a middle name of a man and my mother once told me was my biological father But then as I was living with my stepdad, which is my calling my dad Literally his next door neighbor his name is Corey. He noticed me. He was like, yo Your mother named putting I'm like, yeah, that's her that's her street name or whatever. He's like, bro Come over here. Take a walk with me. His name was Corey. Like we just pay basketball with him and everything I'm walking with him. He's like, yo, look, you ever heard of a dude named Greg. I'm like, yeah, like that's your father I'm like, how you know about Greg said that's my brother He's like I was around the day he was born like what module I've been living in for three years This is literally my next door neighbor the house right next to us This after you left your mom's 15 at this time. I'm about yeah 15. Yeah, this is right before I met Jalissa probably the same year And I got that news broke to me, bro That's some guy named Greg, you know I'm saying that and he has the proof that yeah I was there and everything Greg is my brother and all this other type of stuff and my best friend Lived he was he was the guy right there next door to me So my best friend wound up being potentially my blood cousin shout out to cool So yeah, that was that was that was a tough pill to swallow. So, you know, of course, I went to my dad I asked him like you heard about this Greg dude. He's like, you know Greg man like back when I first met your mom He came over. He seen me with your mother and said, oh, that's not my son no more So he calls he calls Greg Skeletor. He says so I told Skeletor you don't got to worry about him That's my son now. And I was the last time Greg was there Yeah, you ain't got to worry about him you jump you mad because she moved on to another man You ain't even don't worry. That's my that's my boy now Yeah, bro Man, this is wow, so A lot of dudes who have stories similar to yours You know because a lot of times I think as a community we over talk about Toxic fathers. Hmm. We don't talk enough about toxic mothers Hmm, and it's a lot of dudes who have and grew up with toxic mothers a lot of women too Yeah, and it shapes their view of women But in your situation, you still had a reverence. You still had a respect. So how how did your Relationship with your mother and who she was affects you as a boy into into manhood I don't think it was too healthy witnessing what I did with this because I was able to realize at a very young age that women lie and Growing up you are To believe that what women say is true if a woman tells you She was assaulted believe her No matter what because she's the victim. She's the weaker being believe her. I Grew up with the exact opposite If I hear a woman was assaulted let's do some research. Let's get some proof Let's not just believe what's coming out of her mouth because she has the capability to lie Now if we get this read read we dig into it and everything lines up tonight. It wasn't cat. You know what? We got you But I'd never just took to it just because a woman just cuz it's word of a woman and Even with men if a man tells me something and it don't make sense stuff. Just don't line up Bro, I don't believe you until it makes sense, you know, so I'm saying so I don't know if it's like trust issues but I Don't think it was healthy for me to witness those days because I want to you know Be more sympathetic with women, but when I see them have some of those characteristics that my mom has that it's like Not that I dislike you anything, but I gotta dig a little deeper into you I can't just take your word off top because I've literally seen the word of a woman Tarnish the relationship between my little sister and her loving father and I felt bad for my father to the day he died because all he wanted to do was love his daughter He died What yearning the love from his daughter, bro? My little sister spit in his face out of visitation visit And that that that didn't just hurt him, but it hurt the people around him. You know saying I'm saying yeah, bro It's it's young dudes watching this right now They might they might have similar situations they might have different situations What game do you have? based on Based on like your real-world raw understanding of women from your experiences and your mom What what piece of game would you have for them to to better understand how to navigate women? um Don't be naive but try to Not be an asshole at the same time There's a thin line between it. You understand I'm saying between be a naive and saying you know what? I don't believe nothing No matter what you say. I just It's cap you a hoe you were there. She would add Give give some leeway There's opportunity there now the reason why you might have trust issues with women might be because of Your experience with your mom, but you got to understand these women ain't your mom You know so take some of your lessons learned and apply it to dating But don't Let it be detrimental to your dating experiences You understand I'm saying so it's really it's really tough because it's a mind battle you have to battle Your mind in order to have a successful relationship when you've been through traumatic experiences with a woman With anybody really but since we're talking about women. We're gonna highlight with women So that's the toughest part battling You're you're you're you're you're an issue in your net and your natural thought patterns and That is also the secret to a successful relationship on both ends Because we all have different upbringings You understand I'm saying I was taught to be a different ex about a certain way She was taught to be a certain way Those certain ways aren't the same certain ways So in order for her certain way and your certain way to come together You got to cut her certain way in half cut your certain way in half and bring those halves together Boom now you got a half of an unique certain way You understand I'm saying because now you have an understanding of Some ways how you think and you understand some ways that I think what am I willing to compromise? mentally To make this relationship work. How am I gonna make our certain way the best certain way? How are you willing to compromise your certain way to make our certain way the best certain way and That's That's the key to it bro. It's hard Relationships aren't easy and that's why most people aren't in them Because who wants to do the hard thing? Who wants to do the hard thing? But one thing that I've learned as a child growing up It's harder to do the hard thing but people that do the hard thing get more respect think about it You played Tomb Raider before right? Okay Imagine you got a name god named Convo right and a god named Alan right Convo beat Tomb Raider on super easy mode in like Three days right Alan beat Tomb Raider on Super hard mode in five days Who you respect more who got more skills? But a lot of people aren't like Alan Because Alan was willing to endure All of those failures because he even felt missions at least 40 to 50 times He wanted to throw his controller. He wanted to turn the game off But he endured it and got through it see Convo Convo didn't have that mental capacity He don't like the word mission failed. He don't like seeing it. So he go to easy route I'm gonna do it on super easy. Just say I completed just to say that I done beat it I want to go to school in Brad, but if you compare Convo To Alan Alan's experience is way more respected than Convos Than Convos even though Convo completed it in an earlier stage Convo completed in three days to take him five But he did it the hard way and Relationships are hard and that's why most people don't want it. It's easy to say I just over next move on to the next one That's the easy thing But that's why people talk to people like me and Jelisa. We've been together for 18 years. How did y'all do that? Because that's what that's what Convo gonna ask Alan. Yo, how you beat that? You're no homo, bro Them Tigers kept eating my ass up on level two Now he got some game for me and I might go back I might not can't do it on very hard, but I might be able to do it on medium though And once I reach medium, I might want to get to that very hard one day that might be the goal Thanks You you mentioned Child support family court divorce things like that When you watch people like fresh and fit we were talking about them earlier a Lot of the the you know the game we're seeing come out of like the red pill spaces Yo, bro, don't even get married. It ain't worth it. It's a lot more at stake It's a lot more to potentially lose than that there is to gain especially in a modern context in the United States What's your philosophy on that man? Um guys out there that's tuning into the red pill Part of the internet if you don't line up with those high-value men that's out there to six figures Don't take what they say and Run with it Those guys live a different lifestyle Um, and they have a different reality, you know, I said I Made up something called the median man You understand I'm saying and the median woman We are middle ground people Most of their Audience are median people bro. Thanks Their audience isn't the guys that's making six figures getting all the girls and all that They're not worried about what French for saying they were already in a game, right? They got us We are the ones tuning in but The information is misleading when it's Promoted to the wrong group now My advice to the median man to the median woman date to marry Date to marry she divorced you bro. What are you making $60,000 a year? I'm not trying to suspect you because I don't make the most money in the world either What's he taking bro? Take a chance if that's what you want Marriage is a chance, bro. And it's it's about fighting. You got to fight for it sometimes Because you're combining two different worlds You know saying I'm saying so you kid you kid you can't just go into a situation Knowing that times could get hard. They say enough to alter for better or for worse They say that for worse part for a reason rich or for poor for a reason So you can't just go into a relationship or marriage and think it's just for richer and for better You can't forget about the bad parts. They're gonna happen So now are you resilient enough? How strong is your love for this person? Are you resilient enough to fight through that or stuff? Or are you the person that fights on easy mode? Do you want to go in easy mode and take the easy way out? Yeah, you know what? I don't want to lose. I don't want to do that. I want to go through that. So I'm just not gonna do it All right, then what you're gonna do you're gonna tune into my park as it asks combo. How you do it, bro? Bro, I was able to I made the decision To want this because I believe in family Marriage isn't just about Me and my wife It's about my children. It's about my children's children When I marry To to marry you you don't just get married in holy matrimony To marry something is to bring together Okay, so when I married this girl, you know what I also married her mama her daddy her sisters her brothers her friends I married everything about her She married everything that comes with me my family my friends Shit if I got some ops she married. She she she got out now Because our world is together now Now the game I got for that, bro Or sis if you want to get into that lifestyle go ahead and it's not it's not scary It's scary when you start thinking about the negatives You have to think about the positives once you start thinking about negatives and oh I gotta put this in play just in case the relationship breaks up Well, I gotta have this girl on the side just in case my wife want to leave and I could just go to her No, you're already divorced The moment you think of a way out you will find a way out subconsciously Stop having them secret bank accounts that she don't know about just in case whatever because you know why You will revert to that secret bank account because now you don't need her as much now Stop having that girl on the side Just in case she don't work because now in some case She gonna piss you off and you know what you're gonna say Ain't no gotta make things better in my marriage. I got Stacy over here. I could go highland You're just playing on easy mode, bro Marriage in about easy mode marriage is about hard mode, bro. When it's time to get hard And when I see a lot of people in relationships do They take those hard times And they equate it with the majority of their year Let me explain on that Me and my wife argue. Yes, we argue, bro And One of the things that she likes to say is i'm done I'm tired of this. I go through this every day And I had to sit her back like Jalisa You went through you go through this every day. We argue every day We was at apple beach yesterday loving each other And then we were somewhere else Love each other as well every day means 365 days a year Now if we have four arguments in one year There's 365 days Four arguments that you feel is the worst thing that happened to you Do you really think that that's worse? Breaking up a family a bond A togetherness that we've built 18 years you think four days out of 365 days is worth that Because while you're going through it you feel Like it's most of your marriage Hmm The thing about it is some people take hardships And it's too much for them and it's overwhelming. So when they go through it, it's like The end of the world. I don't know what to do Run Easy route Easy route, bro And that's why every relationship Requires at least one resilient person At least one resilient person now, you know if the person you and this marriage is not going to work out Y'all done tried everything. I'd have been through all of the therapy, which I don't believe in Um and the advice you don't watch the we need to talk podcast both of them You know I'm saying And it is no no no information out there that could just make this better and y'all just vomit damn it every time You're sleeping the same bed. All right, fine, bro. It's probably time to you know, I'm saying But if you have something there and it's stuff worth fighting for then fight for it, man Yeah, that's real. That's my take That's real