 The Craft Foods Company presents Harold Perry as the Great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Craft Foods Company makers of Parquet Margarine. Millions of women all over America serve Parquet because it tastes so good. Why, Parquet tastes like it should cost twice as much. To mark it, to mark it, to get some Parquet. Home again, home again, try it today. You'll like it, you'll love it like millions who say their favorite Margarine is. Parquet Margarine made by Craft. Well, let's see what's going on at the Great Gilder Sleeve's house this evening. It's after dinner now as the great man lures his overstuffed figure into his overstuffed chair and gives forth with his sage comment. Oh, ate too much sage dressing. Just can't resist birdie stuffed pork chops. You weren't trying too hard, Uncle. I guess not. Marjorie, would you mind pushing that hassack under my heels? Of course not. Uncle, you want me to lift him up while she slides it under? I could do that, Leroy. Oh, boo. You okay? Can I run upstairs and get your smoking jacket for you? No, thanks. Cigar? Matches? Leroy, you're just looking for an excuse to drop your homework and you know it. Yeah, I know it. You're staying home this evening, Uncle Mort. Well, I thought I was, my dear. Might just sit here with the fire and read. My book of the month selections are beginning to pile up a little. Marjorie, will you hand me a tree grows in Brooklyn? It's growing over at Miss Fairchild now. What? She borrowed it months ago, but I'll run over and get it for you. No, no, don't bother. I'll find something else. Oh, but I'd like to go over anyway and see how she's coming along with her new hats. New hats? Uh-huh. Miss Fairchild makes all her own hats. Didn't you know that? Well, come to think of it, I might have suspected it. Uncle, she's very clever at designing. She had her own millinery shop down south. Yeah, I know. Adeline Chapeau Chateau. And she's opening a shop here. She is? Why haven't I heard anything about this? Well, you haven't been over to see her in such a long time. She probably doesn't think you're interested in what she's doing. I don't know why she should feel that way. I've always had a casual interest in what Adeline is doing. Casual? Leroy. That was last month. What Miss Fairchild does now is no concern of mine. She wants to open a hat shop. That's her business. Doesn't interest me one iota. Where's she opening the shop? Next door. What? Right in her own home. Oh, my goodness. Adeline can't do that. Well, why not, Uncle? This is a residential district. She can't open a store on the street. But, Uncle, all she's doing is turning her living room into a salon. Well, she might have consulted me. What does she want to do? Turn this neighborhood into a shopping district? Women running in and out all day, cars parked all over the place. And you know how women park cars? Hey, young, I got a great idea. What? Is Miss Fairchild going to have a crowd of women buying hats on her side of the fence? We'll sell hot dogs on our side. Leroy. That's an idea. Well, forget it. I'm going to see Judge Hooker in the morning and find out what the zoning regulations are around here. Well, I'm off to do any kitchen. Good night. Good night, Bertie. Good night. I know Adeline, she hasn't even bothered to look into these things. But by George, I'm... Oh, good night, Bertie. Uncle Mort's upset, Bertie, because Miss Fairchild's opening her hat shops. You don't do that for sure? Well, she sure makes nice-looking hats. That may be, Bertie, but I'm not going to allow a hat shop next door. Of course, that's up to you. But you ought to see that hat she made over for me. Want me to go put that on? That won't be necessary, Bertie. You remember that old Cooley saw I used to have? Cooley? I don't believe I did. She put a ribbon and a feather in it, took the Cooley out, and you ought to see it now. Yeah, want me to go put that on? Please, Bertie, let's forget about the hat. I just can't forget about that hat because everywhere I wear, people say, Bertie, where did you get that hat? Want me to go put that on? Yes, Bertie, I'll take your word for it. Must be beautiful. Must be? Because people always say, Bertie, where did you get that hat? Why don't I go put it on? Bertie, I wouldn't want to put you to all that trouble. Oh, no trouble at all, Miss Gillespie. All I have to do is go put it on, and you'll see what a nice hat she made. I don't care if she makes the nicest hats in the world, Bertie. Oh, she does, because if I wear that hat, you know what people say. Yes, Bertie. That's right, Bertie, where did you get that hat? Now I know I'm going to spike this hat deal. Well, I'm a little concerned about something. How? Judge, what are the zoning laws in my neighborhood? Matter of the day, are your neighbors trying to get you to move? Horace, this is a serious matter. Adeline Fairchild is about to open a hat shop in our block right next door to me. Well, don't get excited. I know all about it. You do? Oh, my goodness, she's told everybody but me. She consulted with me, and I advised her to go ahead. It'll occupy her time, and I think she'll make some money. Adeline doesn't need the money, Judge. And there's the neighborhood to think about. What does the city ordinance say? Well, as regards to this matter, the city ordinance says... I don't want to do anything to hurt Adeline. There's nothing personal about this, but nobody has the right to start a business out there. As regards that, the city ordinance says... Give a woman a toehold with a hat shop, and we'll soon have a filling station on every corner. As regards that... Stop interrupting me, Judge. What does the city ordinance say? That's what I'm trying to tell you. Well, get to the point. The city ordinance says that so long as a place of residence is not so orderly remodeled as to change the character of the neighborhood. One may conduct a business. Insofar as that business does not constitute a public nuisance. Well, a lot of women's hats could come under that. You're being facetious, Gildy. There's nothing to prevent Miss Fairchild opening her hat shop unless the neighbor's petition against it. Oh? Gildy? Well, I wonder how Rumson Bullard and the rest of the neighbors would like the idea of a hat shop. You wouldn't start a petition. Oh, wouldn't I? Thanks for the idea, Judge. It might teach Adeline a lesson. She didn't consult any of us. Gildy, you're a bigger fathead than I thought. Watch it, Hooker. And it's only fair to warn you. If you try to fight Miss Fairchild, I'll fight you. What? But you're my lawyer. I'm hers, too. Why, you Benedict Arnold, you turncoat. And since she came to me first, I'll depend her to the last. Now, what do you think of that? I think you're a double-crossing old goat. What do you think of that? I think you're a fathead, Fathead. Be careful what you call me, Hooker. Lawyers can be sued, too, you know. Adeline's got my lawyer on her side. I'll get Rumson Bullard on mine. He's a big stuff shirt. But this is something we'd better get together on before the neighborhood falls apart. He won't want his house squeezed in between a tack factory and a glue works any more than I do. There's Bullard sitting in his study with his nose in the air. You'd think the glue works was operating already. Pretty cold out here. Hope he invites me in this time. Yes? Good morning, Mr. Bullard. Oh, hello, gilded sleeve. Hello. If you have a minute to spare, I'd like to talk to you about something. Won't you come in? Thank you. The hall? The hall. My shoes are a little snowy. Well, gilded sleeve, what can I do for you? Mr. Bullard, you and I are two of the biggest property owners in this neighborhood. You're the biggest. Yes. Well, it surprised you to know that one of our neighbors is trying to open a business on our street without even consulting us. If you mean Miss Fairchild, Mrs. Bullard was telling me about her plans last night. She was? Strange you didn't know about it, gilded sleeve. You and Miss Fairchild have been so chummy I thought perhaps you'd be modeling her head. That's very good, Mr. Bullard. But let's not take this too lightly. Miss Fairchild and I have been good friends and still are, but business is business. Perhaps you and I should protest this hatch-off word, circulate a petition among the neighbors. A petition? Yes. You have a heavy investment in this neighborhood. A hatch-off across the street next to my house wouldn't be a pretty sight. Well, I can't see how one more I saw over there can hurt much. Huh? I'll see you here, Bullard. I may not have the biggest houses you have, but I work hard for what I get, and I'm not going to stand idly by and wake up some morning in the middle of a shopping district. Well, you might have something there, gilded sleeve. You bet. Businesses can spring up fast, Bullard. Why, I've already heard rumors of a hot dog stand going up. Hot dog stand? Where? Right my fr- I mean... I was approached by a young fellow. Then that settles it. Hot dog stand, I will not tolerate. That's the way I feel. Gilded sleeve? I've always considered you a boob about business matters. But this time I think you're using your head. You start the petition, Gilded sleeve, and if you need any help, I'm behind you 100%. Great. Glad to have you aboard, Bullard. We'll block this hat business or know the reason why. Of course, I wouldn't want to start a petition without warning that line. I'll tell her she has to give up this hat shop idea, or Bullard and I'll go into action. That's not more than coming in. Thank you, Adeline. I want to talk to you about something. Oh, I want to talk to you about something, too. Have I told you what I've got in my silly little old head? It's a surprise. Well... I'm going to start a hat shop. You want a surprise? Adeline, that's exactly what I came over to talk to you about. Really? I didn't know you were interested in women's hats. Me? Sit down. You can help me with this one that I'm working on. No, Adeline. Here, here, you hold the ribbon while I tie the field flowers on this cartwheel. This what? Cartwheel. One of my new spring designs. Oh, yes, cartwheel. Well, Adeline, before you get too far along with this project, I think I should have a talk with you. Well, you just go ahead and talk, and don't step on that leghorn body. Leghorn body? That piece of straw on the floor by your foot. Oh, I guess I was thinking of something else. Silly. You mean you can make a hat out of that old piece of body as straw? Oh, now you'd be surprised what Adeline can do with that old piece of straw. I'll use 10 cents for the ribbon to tie on 50 cents for the violets and sell a hat for $20. $20? Can you do that? Oh, well, Pierre, just load it with Bailey and sell it for $25. What? Isn't the millinery business fascinating, Chuck Morton? $25? Well, yes, yes, it seems to be. You know, everybody at the garden club admires my hats. I think every woman in Somerfield will borrow one. They will? The only trouble is in getting ready for my opening. I'm running low on cash. Oh? I hate to cut some of my bones and things, but if I had enough of $200, I could make $2,000 of a new hat before Easter. $2,000? At that rate, you'd soon be a rich woman. Well, you never can tell. Look at Hattie Carnegie and Lily Dashade. Oh, yes. I might look on that successful, unless some of the neighbors object to a hat shop here. Well, no, with a chance to make that much money, I wouldn't worry too much about the neighbors. You wouldn't? Then, Chuck Morton, how did you come over here to talk to me about it? Well... Yes? I came over to see if I could lend you $200. How'd you like to take on a silent partner? Chuck Morton, that'd be wonderful. Oh, but I don't want to take your money. No, Adeline, I want you to. But I don't need $200 that bad. But I could use the two... Adeline, I insist. Please. All right, then. It's a partnership. I can make the hats and you can handle the money. Sounds fair to me. And Bullard thought I was a boob about business. Bertie, did you ever try that parquet margarine on hot cornmeal mush in a cold February morning? I sure did. And that's the way it tastes. Or on warmed-up rolls when you've come in after shopping? Yes, sir. And that's sure the way it tastes. Or on waffles? Hey, Bertie, you keep saying that's the way it tastes. I don't quite get what you mean. I mean, parquet tastes like a luxury food. Tastes like it should cost twice as much. That's what. Oh, well, it's prepared like a luxury. That's why. Only the selected product of American farms go into the making of delicious parquet. You know, Bertie, every pound of that good tasting spread is full of real nourishment and reinforced with 15,000 units of essential vitamin A. You take the vitamins, Mr. Wall. I'll take the taste. Bertie, you'll take the vitamins, too, when you take parquet. And you'll get parquet at half the price of the most expensive spread. Friends, make tomorrow night's dinner a parquet dinner. You'll all enjoy the light, delicate flavor of this delicious spread. Ask your dealer for parquet, that P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet, the margarine made by Kraft, that tastes like it should cost twice as much. Yes, sir. That's the way it tastes. So let's get back to the great Gilder Sleeve, who was a property owner, became gravely concerned about Adeline Fairchild's plan to open a hat shop next door. A day has passed since he stormed in to stop it and waltzed out a silent partner in the business. I had a little trouble rounding up that $200 without dipping into my bonds, but what the heck? A man can't pass up $2,000. I can hardly wait till Easter. In your Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it. Nope, they're not sings aloud. There's a bullard coming out of Peavey's. Hello, Mr. Bullard. Good morning, Gilder Sleeve. I've been meaning to call you. You have? How are you coming along with the petition? The old petition. Well, I've been pretty busy since yesterday. Oh? Well, don't let this get out of hand, Gilder Sleeve. Oh, no, I've got it in hand, all right. Good. Well, I must be going. I have a meeting at the bank. Good day, Gilder Sleeve. Good day, Mr. Bullard. I'll just conveniently forget about the petition. Bullard's so busy you forget about it, too. I just keep it quiet. After all, I am a silent partner. Hey, George, I should have gotten into a little business long ago. Hello, Peavey. Hello, Mr. Gilder Sleeve. What can I do for you today? Well, you might give me a half a dozen cigars, Peavey, coronas. A half a dozen coronas? On second thought, you might just as well make it a box. A box? That's what I said, Peavey. Very well. A box of coronas it is. I'll be smoking a lot between now and Easter. There you are. One box of coronas. That would be $17.50. $17.50? Charge it, Peavey. Very well. $17.50 is pretty steep, but I like to see a businessman make a tidy profit. Tidy profit. Now, Peavey, I know all about markups. I'll bet you make plenty on everything you sell here. Well, there are a few pennies here and a few pennies there. I'll bet this little business has been a goldmine for you. No, I wouldn't say that. Peavey? Well, even if it has, I wouldn't say it. Peavey, when it comes to business, you're a foxy old codger. And, confidentially, I'm not so dumb myself. Okay. What would you say, Peavey, if I told you that I invested in a little business that's going to make $2,000 for me between now and Easter? $2,000? My, my. What kind of business? Well, it's a legitimate big-profit business. That's all I'm going to tell you. Well, I wouldn't want to pry into your private affair. By the way, how is Ms. Franchile's hat shop coming along? Huh? I understand she's meeting with quite a little opposition in your neighborhood. Well... I understand you and Mr. Bullard are against it. Well, Bullard has been pretty narrow-minded about it, Peavey, but who pays attention to a sore head? Oh, you've withdrawn your opposition, I take it. Me? Well, Peavey, I don't believe in standing in the way of progress. We property owners can't be selfish about these things. Oh, I know. Well, got to be running along, Peavey. I'm a busy man these days. Hello. Good-bye, Mr. Galiseave, and I wish you luck in your... What did you say your new business was? I didn't say, Peavey. Oh, it's a good way to sleep before I forget. I was supposed to give you a message from Ms. Franchile if you stopped in. Oh? Drop by Hogan Brothers and buy ten yards of black veiling for the hat shop. Ten black yards of... I mean, thanks very much. Goodbye. That Peavey. I have a feeling he suspects I'm in the hat business. Oh, well, he's close-mouthed. He won't tell, Lord. Of course, I'll have to tell everybody eventually. People will wonder where I'm getting all my money. Hey, Commiss. Floyd. Hello, Floyd. What's your hurry? I'm on my way to Hogan Brothers. Come on over, I want to talk to you. Well, what's on your mind, Floyd? How's the lily touche of Summerfield? What's this? Come on in the shop, I want to have a talk with you. No thanks, I'm busy. I got a copy of Vogue inside. Please, Floyd. I don't know where you get your information, but I'll thank you to keep this hat shop to yourself. Oh, sure. You know me. Yes. I just assumed certain people in this town didn't know about it. Right now, anyway. Oh, sure. I know how you feel. The water commissioner designed a hat. Now, Floyd, what's your first creation going to be, Commiss? A paper mache fire plug dripping with watercress? I have nothing to do with the designing, Floyd. I'm just handling the business end, and you'd be amazed if I told you how much money we're going to make between now and Easter. Yeah? Well, good for you, Commiss. You deserve it. Thanks, Floyd. A blind pig has to stumble onto an acorn once in a while. I didn't stumble onto this, Floyd. I figured it out. Oh, no offense, Commiss. I know you got what it takes. Well, I know a good thing when I see it. Of course you do. I wouldn't surprise me if you ended up like them Hogan brothers at the department store. Hogan brothers? Sure. They started on a shoestring with $25 worth of neckties. Yeah? Yeah. And they parlayed it into Gents furnishings and looked what they got now. A store half a block long and four storeys high. Well, started out with neckties. Yep. That's America, Commiss. Free enterprise. And if they can do it, you can do it. Well, that could be, Floyd. And when you get up there, Commiss, how about giving the Mrs. a job as one of them hat mannequins? Lovey, uh, mannequin? Well, yeah, she's always wanted to be one of them live dummies. Well, that's a thought, Floyd. That might be just a thing for Lovey. Tell her to get in touch with me after Easter. Around Halloween. In your Easter bonnet, all the frills upon it, bloody dinner. Let's see. The veiling Adeline wants to probably be in the millinery department. Well, it's a pretty nice business. Hogan brothers built up here from a necktie? Or was it a shoestring? Well, anyway, if they can do it with $25, think what I can do with $200. Yeah, listen to that cash register album. See, here's the same type hat Adeline was making. Wonder if I can sneak a look at the price. Must have hidden it in the lining. Oop, ripped it loose. Please don't handle the merchandise. What? Oh, I'm just looking for the price. $34.95. $34.95. Do you want it? Oh, no, no, I want ten yards of black veiling. Very well, I'll show you what we have. $34.95, eh? Maybe. Adeline was going to sell it for $25. We'd better raise our prices. We don't want to be known as a cheap hat shop. Well, well, if it isn't our little character from Alice in Wonderland. What? The Mad Hatter. All right, Judge, stop cackling before you attract the crowd. Yelde, whatever happened to that petition you were going to circulate against the hat shop? Well, what made you change your mind? You change your mind, too, Judge. Take a look at what they're getting for this hat. Where is that price tag? Are you looking for something again? Just wanted to show the judge. But if you continue pawing that hat, I'll have to call the manager. I'll see you here, madam. You're not indispensable around here. I beg your pardon. I may just buy this little place some day, so watch it. What? Perhaps you don't know my friend young lady. This is the four-man's Marshall field. Oop. He's an old goat, lady, so keep him away from your straw hats. You're a regular Betsy Ross of that needle. That's a beautiful hat you're making there. Birdie was right. Oh, thank you kind, sir. I'll bet those things sell like hotcakes. Oh, they're already selling. You know that leg-orn cartwheel I made? Oh, yeah. The one with the field flowers. Yes. Well, Mrs. DeWilliger stopped here today and practically took it away from me. For $25? Oh, that's great. But let's not sell them too cheaply, Adeline. What? You could have gotten $34.95. Gracious. Yes, indeed. Let's not be afraid to think big, Adeline. And I've been thinking, if we can turn a $200 investment in a $2,000 by Easter, imagine what we can do when we reinvest the $2,000. Oh, that'd be a lot of hats, Throckmorton. Well, there are a lot of women. And after Easter, there's Mother's Day coming up. We'll do some advertising, a hat for every mother. And then there's Labor Day, a hat for every working girl. Oh, Throckmorton, you have been doing some thinking. You betcha. And then there's Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and New Years. Holidays are great for business. And then we're back to Easter again. In your Easter bonus with all the frills upon it, you'll be the grandest lady in Easter, pray. Oh, just listen to you. Here's the part I like best. And I'll be all in clover. Oh, you. You certainly are enthusiastic about the millineribus. Well, why not? Oh, my hands are full. Can you answer the door, partner? Yes, sure. Probably a customer, Adeline. Distorming the house before we even open for business. Watch me sell a hat. Hello, Gilda Sleeve. Well, Mr. Bullard. This is a surprise. Gilda Sleeve, I could tell when I met you on the street today that you weren't doing much about a petition to stop this hat shop nuisance. Oh, yes, the petition. Well, you see, Mr. Bullard. Never mind, you can forget it. I can? Well, that's a good idea. Yeah, because I'm circulating the petition. What? You started this, now sign it. We'll see if Gilda Sleeve can wiggle out of that one in just a minute. Friends, if you haven't already tried it, why not serve Parquet Margeron this week? Make your own test of that luxury flavor. Serve Parquet for breakfast on hot toast or crisp waffles. Use it for the children's luncheon snacks and for your big evening meal. And as you put Parquet on the table and tell the family to help themselves, you'll be able to make a good meal. And you'll be able to make a good meal. And tell the family to help themselves. Remember, every single pound of Parquet is brimming over with nourishment and reinforced with 15,000 units of essential vitamin A. And it costs only about half as much as the most expensive spreads. Ask for Parquet tomorrow. P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet, the margeron made by Kraft that tastes like it should cost twice as much. I'll get it, Bertie. It's Bullard again. Bullard, I won't sign that petition and that's final. Well, that's not exactly why I came over, Gildersleeve. This time I'm dropping the petition. You are? But I thought... I know, I know, but it doesn't seem cricket for me to oppose the hat shop and still let my son Craig proceed with his idea. Mrs. Bullard and I don't like to discourage any display of initiative on his part. What's this? And he wants to open a hot dog stand on our lawn. He does? I wonder who gave little Craig that idea. Shhh. Good night, folks. The Great Gildersleeve is played by Harold Curry, Adeline Fairchild by Miss Yulia Merkel. The show is written by John Elliott and Andy White with music by Jack Meakin. Included in the cast are Walter Ketley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross and Richard Legrand. This is John Wall saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, the makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. And be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gildersleeve. You bet! Do you ever get hungry for a piece of mellow, good, aged American cheese? You know, the kind that comes in the big golden wheels? It's been a long time since there's been much on the market, but now Kraft has plenty of it. Just this last year, for the first time since before the war, Kraft has been sending lots of fine American cheese to the curing rooms, aging it to a mellow perfection. And now it's ready for you at your dealers. The next time you shop, ask him for a big cut of old-fashioned natural American cheese, the kind that's been so carefully aged by the master cheese makers of Kraft. This is NBC, the national broadcast...