 Scotty Sire just dropped the music video for his track, Get Better, and I know a lot of us can relate to it, so in this video we're going to break down the lyrics and see what we can learn from it. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, what I like to do is see what's going on in the YouTube community, or take lyrics from songs and see what kind of lessons we can learn from them. So, in this case, we got both, maybe, but if you're into that stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell, and while you're at it, make sure you're following me over on Instagram and Twitter at the Rewired Soul because I love talking to all of you beautiful people out there, and I put up polls and get ideas for videos and all that kind of stuff, alright? But yeah, anyways, YouTube recommended me the new Scotty Sire music video for the track, Get Better. So, this song, my interpretation of this song, it's somebody who is in a relationship, right? And they have these outbursts, maybe it's anger or maybe it's sadness, and this is their message to their significant other. But for some of us, it could be a message to our friends or even our family members. But anyways, the chorus goes like this. I'm sorry for breaking down in front of you. I'm F'd up, don't know what else I can do. I'm trying to pull myself together, trying, trying to get better. So yeah, anyways, I want to focus on that chorus and discuss, like, whenever I hear, like, I'm trying to get better, I was taught a long time ago, when I got sober almost seven years ago, and I was working on my mental health and, you know, my sobriety, like, what is trying actually mean? So, although I am a much different person than I was seven years ago, I had a ton, a ton of anger issues. And for me, something I often told people was like, drugs and alcohol were my anger management tool, alright? Like, I was a very angry person for most of my life. And then when I got sober, and the one thing that was keeping me chill was taking away, I would freak out on people. And I felt awful about this. And some of you might be able to relate to this. Like, I just did a video about borderline personality disorder, and I talked about how people think that people with BPD are just like these crazy, manipulative people, but in most cases, people with BPD, they feel bad about their outbursts and things like that. But this is something a lot of us can relate to. So in my early recovery, I didn't know how to control it. I did not know how to control my anger. And I would lash out on the people who cared about me the most, and the people I cared about the most, my friends, my family members, all sorts of people. And I would just freak out. And these were people who were trying to help save my life and wanted to see me get better, but I couldn't stop myself from freaking out on them. So I talked to my mentor in 12-step communities. It's a sponsor. And I would call him up because I was early on in sobriety. I didn't know what to do. And I would tell him, I'm like, dude, I just freaked out on my friends, or I freaked out on my mom, and I feel absolutely terrible. What do I do? And he would tell me. He's like, OK, go and apologize. All right? And he's like, and let him know that you're sorry for what you did and you're working really hard to get on the other side of this thing. All right? But he always taught me that there was a kicker. OK? Like when I apologize and I tell somebody that I'm trying to get better, kind of like what Scotty Sire is saying in this song, like I have to actually be doing something. And that made sense. That made so much sense to me. Because especially when you look at these types of relationships where we're constantly freaking out or doing something or doing some kind of bad behavior or even an addiction, right? We constantly relapse. Like I look back and say how many times did I tell people like this time is going to be different, right? I'm sorry I did this. I'm sorry I did this, but it's never going to happen again. How many times did I say that and then I went back on my word? You see what I mean? So what my sponsor was teaching me was that my actions spoke louder than words. Like I couldn't just say, hey, I'm trying to get better. I'm trying to get better. Like what does trying mean? So for me in my early recovery, trying meant going to 12-step meetings, trying meant talking to my sponsor, trying meant working the 12 steps. Today what that means for me is a lot of the same things plus therapy, plus meditation, plus being on my anxiety and depression medications. You know what I mean? This is me trying. And over time, over the years, like on Mother's Day, I made a video about the relationship I have with my son's mother. Over time people saw me working and trying to get better, okay? They could see the steps that I was taking. So for those of you who don't know, I was working in an addiction treatment center for a little over three years, all right? And I would constantly have people asking me. They would call me up because part of my job as an alumni coordinator was talking to people after they left treatment. So I did a bunch of groups while they were in treatment and also did one-on-ones of things like that. But I would also follow up with them after. So I would take what people were doing after treatment and teach it to the people in treatment. But one of the calls I got all the time is like, Chris, Chris, my mom still doesn't trust me or my wife doesn't trust me or my husband doesn't trust me or my kids don't trust me. And they would always say like, don't they see that I'm trying? I'm trying really hard? And I would ask them. I would ask them, I'd say, what does trying mean to you? And they're like, well, I'm staying sober. Isn't that good enough? And what I would teach people is no. No, it's not good enough, all right? Because just being sober is like getting you to baseline. Like now you're just a normal human being. Now you're not somebody shooting dope or snorting coke or drinking alcohol 24-7, now you're just here. Now you got to be nice. Now you got to be kind. Now you got to be reliable. Now you got to be accountable, right? Now you got to manage your anger. Now you got to do all these other things. So when you look at your own life and what you're trying to do, like think about, are you just settling for the bare minimum? And think about how everybody else in your life interprets that. Because something I had to realize a long time ago was it is not fair to the other people in my life if I'm not really putting effort into this thing. See a common misconception about mental health or even sobriety is, is that it's just gonna happen out of nowhere by us not doing anything. Like mental health is an action word. Like what are you doing? Are you going to therapy? Have you talked to a doctor? Are you on medications? Are you meditating? How many steps are you actually taking? So the last thing I want to talk about in this video is I get questions all the time from significant others, right? It's mainly significant others who have a boyfriend or girlfriend or husband or wife who is like what Scotty Sire is describing in this video, get better. And they say, Chris what do I do? Now, just to make it very clear when anybody talks to me about their relationships like that is a big deal. I try to never tell somebody whether they should leave or stay in a relationship unless it's abusive and it's like, yo, get out of there. But something that they constantly tell me when they're explaining all of the things that the other person's doing, they're like, but they're trying, they're really trying. And I ask that. I ask that to the person. I say, what do you mean they are trying? What does that mean to you? What does that look like? All right, and that's kind of the point I want to make in this video is like ask yourself what does trying to get better actually look like? And when people explain it to me, they can't, like they can't really explain it to me. Like is a person going to therapy? Has a person talked to a doctor? Has a person like tried getting a job? Has a person tried saving money? What is the person doing to manage their anger and their outbursts and their freakouts? Right, like what are they doing? Right, because a lot of people what trying means is they're trying to use their own willpower to do it. But if countless times have shown us anything, it's that a lot of us have very little self control over our emotions and our outbursts. This is one of the reasons I preach meditation so much. Like I get so many people who are like, but Chris, I can't afford therapy. Chris, I can't, you know, afford the medications, right? Meditation is scientifically proven to strengthen your prefrontal cortex and calm down the amygdala. The amygdala is a part of your brain responsible for fight, fight, or freeze. So it's responsible for a lot of your emotions, like anger, like anxiety, right? While the prefrontal cortex is responsible for other beautiful things such as impulse control, emotional regulation, like how sick would it be to have a little bit of emotional regulation? Now, a common misconception about meditation is that you try it once for five minutes and then you don't do it and you're like, I didn't get any effects. No, it is a practice and it takes time, all right? So if nothing else, what I want you to take from this video is one of two things, depending on which situation you're in. If you are somebody who is constantly lashing out or causing chaos in your life and it's affecting other people and you're trying to get better, ask yourself, what does trying to get better actually mean to you? Maybe write it down on a notepad. Write down the actionable steps that you have been taking to try to get better, all right? Now, if you're on the other side of this thing and you're in a relationship, ask yourself, what is this other person doing to try to get better? And maybe it's not a significant other. Maybe it's not a spouse. Maybe it's your mother. Maybe it's your brother. Maybe it's your daughter. Maybe it's a friend, right? So check in with yourself and ask yourself, am I just making excuses for this person? Am I enabling this person by not setting up boundaries and waiting around why they're quote unquote trying to get better? Write down what steps they are actually taking because if they're not taking any actionable steps to try to get better, it might be time to set up some boundaries, all right? And if you're struggling with boundaries, talk to a damn therapist about it and they will help you set up boundaries, all right? If you need help from a therapist, what I always say, talk to your doctor, see if they can recommend anybody, talk to your insurance company, see if they can recommend anybody, see if friends or family members can recommend a good therapist. I personally use Better Health Online Therapy. It's an affordable online therapy app so you can use it pretty much anywhere. I have an affiliate link down below so if you decide that you want to sign up for Better Hope, you get cheap, affordable online therapy and a little bit comes back to help support the channel, all right? But anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you like this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos and I'm all up on Twitter and Instagram so make sure you're following me at the Rewired Soul and a huge, huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You're all amazing and if you would like to help support what I'm doing here and get some access to some other perks and benefits, click the top on that Patreon icon right there, all right? Thanks again so, so much for watching. I'll see you next time.