 All right, well, thank you everyone father. Could you open us up in prayer? Sure in the name of the father of the son and of the Holy Spirit Heavenly father we ask you to bless this time We thank you for the wonders of this world this universe's technology which can help us come together We come together in the name of your beloved son Jesus Christ whose priest I am Being both without pouring of the Holy Spirit upon our minds and our hearts Even our bodies through this interchange as we discuss your kingdom and as we try to To really dig into the depths of the wisdom of your love so that we can experience true freedom and true holiness in Christ Hail Mary full of grace the Lord is with thee blessed art thou among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus Holy Mary mother mother God pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death Amen glory be to the father and to the son and to the Holy Spirit as it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be World without end amen St. Lawrence pray for us in the name of the father and of the son and of the Holy Spirit amen amen Well, thanks again Father we're so excited to have you here. You're definitely a fan favorite of us at avala foundation spiritualdirection.com I actually personally It was your one of your articles on roots in was my first contact with this mission And it was life changing for me obviously because here we are so so much gratitude towards you And I know that a lot of our people were always always always promoting the better part For the best resource on daily mental prayer So I want to just show that on the screen here real quick before we get started we it's available at sophia you can find it on amazon as well and Why don't we as we get started? Why don't you just tell us a little bit about what the better part is and kind of the inspiration For writing this and then we can get into some of the questions that people sent over And and go from there Okay, sounds good. Well, first of all, thank you very much for inviting me to be part of This evening and I think I see some familiar faces there in the gallery. So that's nice So the better part really came out of of my valve obedience I'm a member of religious order the legionaries of christ I make a valve obedience and I received an email from our headquarters in rome Back in 2000 and I think it was 2006 Saying that we need a new resource to help people pray Because one of the ministries that we do in in my order is a lot of spiritual direction with lay people a lot of retreats to lay people We really believe in the power of the lay charism and the holiness of the lay people is the future of the church this new New christendom, which is emerging from our post christian culture So and and it was interesting in this assignment that I received from my superiors saying so our men throughout the world Who are delivering these retreats and giving the spiritual direction? they are really sensing that The holy spirit is moving these lay people to a to a deep a real life of mental prayer Not just prayer by rote not just saying prayers But really going deep in that personal prayer of mental prayer And and so the the assignment was so we need a new resource because the old resources aren't really helping people that much And we need something that's going to be useful for men and for women For old for young for people who are starting and people who are experienced and it has to be completely centered on the gospels And we need it by december So that was kind of my assignment And and so I put together a little kind of ad hoc commission with some other people Some religious and lay people some consecrated women and brainstormed a little bit came up with the structure With probably most of you are familiar with and the idea behind the structure was really simple We want to know christ completely want no christ from every angle We want our our own person to interact with christ completely for that transformation into christ Which is the core of the christian journey So you have different sections you have the gospels included So you don't have to have your bible in one hand and your meditation book in another It's all there together And then the different the gospels divided up into those different passages and each passage has a commentary That devoted to christ the lord brings out the aspect of christ's own kingship He's the one we follow. He's the one we obey and christ the teacher He's always teaching with his example with his words even with his silences. He's always enlightening our minds So not just our wills. We serve christ the king, but our minds are intellects We learn from him the meaning of life who god is what the purpose of things are And then christ the friend Because it's not just our minds and our wills but also our heart. He wants a relationship He wants to walk with us He calls us his friends and then the fourth commentary is christ in my life Which is written in first person singular so it can help jump start your own time of mental prayer If you've been having some trouble doing that and then because you can always use it in group In a group as well for group reflection and group discussion You have some questions at the end and some references to the catechism If you want to touch on some of the doctrinal points that come out So it's like this great. It's a great resource for personal prayer for group study And and you can kind of it's we want it to be an evergreen thing because the gospel is in it You know, so you can always go back to it and it's meant to spark your own conversations with christ And that's the the whole introduction explains that method of of mental prayer. So that was it That's wonderful and we have you know for anyone listening if you're looking for a group Head over to postilly va.org. It's a p o s t o l i v i a e And we have a ton of small groups on there. I think our goals to have over 100 by the end of the year I don't know where we're at on that goal But a lot of small groups on there and our small groups use the better part for their Discussion so every time they meet gospel encounter groups So we're very familiar with that text and yeah, it's it's just fantastic So As you guys are here. Oh christine rich. She says hi fata john You're the reason you're the person that connected her with damberg too. So there you go Yeah, then I go way back Then I go way back So as we go along I have a list of questions here You guys were great in sending those in ahead of time if something comes up for anyone listening Just throw out go ahead and throw it in the chat box and we'll try to get to it So speaking of the better part and you know, some of our some of our people have been doing this this the better part for five years They just go over and over again with it And this was actually one of the questions that came in it says How do you handle when your conscience is telling you? Well, I've read this meditation before and I get it I already know this already and with the scriptures and meditations It's the word of god is living and effective He makes everything new so But sometimes they're struggling in their mind with this when they go to prayer What would you recommend for that person? Wow, that's a great question You know, I mean, I'd love to have a conversation with that person about that question But basically it sounds to me Like that you've been engaging in mental prayer for a while And so when we do that for an extended period of time Over, you know years then what what begins to happen in our prayer can change The the mental prayer of someone who's just beginning this journey with christ who's kind of maybe had a powerful retreat Maybe just felt I need to go deeper my prayer life That type what happens in that time with god is going to look different Then what happens in someone who's been engaged in mental prayer faithfully For in and living a life of grace for many years So it sounds to me like this questioner. Well, I'm very familiar with these meditations. I'm very familiar with these passages So, you know, I kind of already know this well, I would really encourage you to explore at least in your time of personal prayer to to to go ahead and You know respond to that what's going on in your spiritual life by giving yourself permission to be more simple in your prayer To to maybe for you. It's good enough one line from from the gospel passage That you read on monday And kind of going back to that and simply pondering it and savoring it and letting it penetrate your mind and your heart And that might last you for a whole week. Like you don't necessarily you don't necessarily need new input You know for that time of mental prayer We can always have new input in our time of study and learning the faith and going deeper understanding of the word of god But the time of prayer is really meant to be an intimate encounter with god In our in the early stages of prayer that involves a lot of our our work We think we ask questions who what when where why? You know those journalist questions they came from the medieval monks a method of meditating on the scriptures on the gospels So we do a lot of work, but as we grow god says, okay, you've been doing a lot of work I've been sending my grace through that now. I want to work more directly So he kind of invites us to slow down. We become we even encounter some dryness You know new ideas aren't moving us. We're not getting new ideas That could be a sign that god is inviting you to a greater simplicity in your prayer So go with that. It's okay. I'm just going to go to maybe my favorite passages. I don't need something new every day I'm going to talk to him about that. I'm going to open up what's on my heart Listen to what's on his heart And see what happens and then do that for a week or a couple weeks kind of keep track Of of what happens in that time of prayer talk with your spiritual director or with a You know friend if you don't have a spiritual director about what happens and see I think that's what that that could be what god is up to Yeah, and what's interesting about that father is when You know instead of getting something new every day Just this more some simple prayer is something new for them and it could be frightening for them Oh, yeah, it's it's very disorienting. It can be very disorienting. There's no latin phrase That can help in the midst of that disorientation. It's uh, it's non multa sed multum Non multa sed multum, which means not many things but much And as our spiritual life advances We don't feel a need to kind of go after as many things We don't feel a need to kind of be spiritual glutton's and learn everything and no in our spiritual life We find ourselves being drawn to to certain points of revelation that uh that really connect with our heart And that can be very disorienting because I used to be so busy in my prayer and working so hard Now I feel like I can't do anything. What's wrong? What's wrong with my prayer? And maybe nothing's wrong with your prayer. Maybe that's where god is leading you But it's really good to have someone you can talk about that with because sometimes, you know, sometimes there are Uh hidden attachments which can impede us which can we get to kind of a roadblock in our prayer because there's something Uh that we're not fully aware of that god wants to bring to the surface and that so there can be some some other Causes for that type of dryness as well Yeah, even attachment to Um, just like you said all that work is like the achieving Yeah, yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, that's great. Thank you. Um Another question uh regarding praying with scripture. Do you have a recommendation? Uh For a resource to better understand and pray with the Psalms Ah the Psalms Yeah, the Psalms are really the prayer book I don't know if some of you may be familiar I can't remember which father of the church but a couple of the father church fathers of church used to call the the Psalms the fifth gospel because in the Gospels of matthew mark luke and john We we get to we get to learn what jesus said and what he did But since jesus prayed You know as man He also would use the the jewish prayer book You know of ancient israel, which was the book of psalm. So what happened in his heart Is expressed in the Psalms even on the on the cross on his crucifixion You know, why why have you abandoned me when he said that's triggering a psalm There's a whole psalm. That's the beginning of a psalm. So he prayed the psalm So when we read the Psalms and we understand them we actually We get to continue to discover christ's own heart So I would say a great resource for that is Fantastic resource one of the last series of catechesis that st. John paul the second gave Towards the end of his pontificate the end of his life was he went through All of the Psalms and all of the canticles which go into the liturgy of the hours That's the main part of the hours of the Psalms and he commented on each one of them So he gave a catechesis Like his wednesday audience. That's where he gives his catechesis his reflection his talk he gave talks on each one of the Psalms I'm sure they've been published in volumes, but you can also just get them from the vatican website You know, you can and you can you can use those until you can read the psalm Then you can read his commentary and you can go back and read the psalm And again when you're when you're praying the Psalms I mean any good but biblical commentary as well will have some explanations But when you're praying the Psalms what you really want to look for are those lines that kind of that really pierce your own heart That resonate with you and then you stay with them This is the prayer book that was written by the holy spirit the inspired scripture and their prayers So everything that we experience in our own hearts is expressed somewhere in the Psalms So we find if we as we become more and more familiar with the Psalms We find the words in the Psalms which can express to God with greater eloquence than we can come up with ourselves What's going on in our hearts? Very very rich source for our prayer Amen, I definitely agree with that. It's like You find this psalm and it's like that's exactly what I feel You know it like you said it just expresses it so deeply in a way that Speaks, you know heart directly to your heart You know just what you need to hear so thank you for that if anyone listening wants to Throw the link into that on the Vatican website That'd be great. I I don't know if Anyone could do that for us. Look at that someone's holding up a Psalms and canticles. There it is So it is published in different volumes. You can find them there. Yeah, yeah, great resource Thank you. Well, we'll post the resource after when we post this webinar. We'll we'll find it for you guys Um, so yeah root sins We've got these great articles on root sins and we've got it in the little survey and navigate getting the Interior life and so we love taking a look at that And it's helpful to us. So someone says that asks the question Do we all have a root in each of the deadly sins but deeper roots in just one that is dominant? And and or how do you separate the root sins the three root sins we talk about? with pride vanity and Sensuality comfort versus the seven deadly sins Yeah, that's a really good question. There's there's a lot There's a lot of ways that could be answered and there's a lot of different Even different answers. I wouldn't say there's necessarily one absolute answer to that question The the seven, you know, the seven deadly sins the capital sins Are are really linked to the different powers of the soul You know kind of were and so they kind of they become vices which contradict the the proper use of the powers of our soul And the proper use of a power soul or the proper development is a virtue Right. So if you kind of if you do a little diagram, I think I I made there's a chapter in one of my books a book called 60 Days to Becoming a Missionary Disciple There's a chapter there on the emotions and the feelings and you kind of you can see kind of a map of the basic human emotions Which are which are kind of at the root of our vices and our and our virtues so the seven the seven capital sins is a way of understanding kind of The different aspects of our powers of our soul Which can go awry Now the three root sins is a little bit more And the well going back the capital sins there are the theological insight on the capital sins is those are the ones that spawn other sins So if you keep falling into certain sins, you know, you want to trace them back to some of the capital sins And then the root sin concept is simplifies that even more And the way that I would actually describe I think the way that's most useful to understand the different root sins is Where we're supposed to have find and seek our meaning is in our relationship with God Because we're created to live in communion with God To know him to love him to obey him to praise him to receive his love to receive his grace Friendship with Christ is the core of Christian charity so Because of the fallen world and our fallen nature and our darkened intellect and our deviated will We tend to seek that fulfillment in things that are not God And the three root sins It kind of linked to the to the first letter of st. John Where he talks about He talks about three different kind of areas of sin But the three root sins in kind of the christian tradition, which is in navigating the interior life You can seek your meaning in God. That's the right place You can have a tendency to seek that meaning in your own achievements in your own excellence And that's pride You can tend to seek that meaning in that fulfillment in what other people think of you and other people's approval and affection That's vanity And you can tend to seek that the fulfillment your contentment in Pleasures and material comfort that's sensuality So we all have a tendency to seek Meaning and happiness in all those different things because in the end all those different things are actually They're actually good things We're actually created and called to make an impact on the world on creation on the universe Now we created put adam and eve in the garden said go cultivate the garden go subdue the earth So we're actually called to achieve things to make things to do things So when that's ordered that that's becomes a way away from me to deepen my communion with God And we're called to live in relation with others. We need to be loved. We need to be seen and understood Right. So so at the root of of that disorder kind of search for people's approval Is a healthy need and then same with the physical we have bodies, you know We're created with the capacity to experience pleasure food tastes good because life is good There's a message from God and those healthy pleasures, right? So So we all have We're all drawn to those things because of who because of who we are as we're created But because in our formative years That's when you know because we we grow up in a in this broken world this fallen world We have a damaged human nature. So usually in our formative years Some of our our basic needs are not met in a healthy way and that creates a certain penchant or kind of a certain tendency Depending on the circumstances in which we grow up and then our own You know our own dna and all kinds of other factors that we're not, you know, we don't know completely but we we tend to have One of those that we that we kind of grasp we tend to grasp it more energetically than the others depending on what happens in our formative years and which needs that we have are met and And and which needs aren't met. So we all have all three of those tendencies their original direction is good But their disorder direction causes a lot of problems because we make idols out of those things and so that that leads us away from communion with God But each one of us tends to have one of them, which is more There's like a stronger magnetic force For some people to to seek to super achieve and that's what's going to give their life meaning or To seek people's approval to be you know to be loved by others that's and they you know a disordered Pursuit of that that would be vanity. So that's kind of a Just the beginning of an answer to the whole theology of of sin and original sin and personal sin and woundedness But I think that I think that can help maybe I hope Yeah, it's even interesting how sometimes in our root sins is it's it's we're trying to find meaning in it too But it's even how we can present ourselves to God You know like well, you know, if I if I achieve all these things or if I do, you know If he approves of me if I please him type of thing and sometimes we can Present ourselves in that way too and it can get confusing with with the root sins Can they so we have one that's more dominant and a lot of people have gone through this Healing process and it's like oh, I really thought my roots and insanity, but I'm just healed of that. I don't I don't care anymore What other people think of me and I I'm really confident in what I think about myself and now I think my roots in is pride Um, and you know, they get humbled and now they just don't really care about achieving or what you know excellence in their opinions or anything like that and Now they're just really don't want to do anything except maybe just eat and Sit at home and now maybe they think their roots in is is uh sensuality. You know, does it change at all? Yeah, so No, the roots in won't really change um, but I think what you're describing is it's a Is something we can fall into in the spiritual journey, which is uh get getting Well, let's put it this way So, you know, some of the great images of the spiritual life from the doctors of the church like st Risa talks about the soul as a garden And in the purgative way that kind of the first the first stages of real spiritual growth We're weeding out The the bad plants in the garden and we're taking out the rocks that are there that are impeding the soil from being able to So we're kind of cleaning it out And that's when you're you're identifying your vices and you're trying to correct them by actually exercising virtue um, and then As once we the virtues then would be the good plants right that god plants the seeds of the virtues and we nourish them And then they begin to bear fruit the fruit of the spirit in our soul so What can happen is We can we can get stuck um In becoming obsessed with the weeds When actually once we get, you know, the the the garden cleared certain and to a certain degree Then we want to focus on nourishing the good plants And weeds are going to come up here and there and you're going to find Sensuality weeds and you're going to find some pride weeds and you're going to find and you may you may um later on Discover that you thought you got something out by the roots some bad plant out by the root But the roots are still there and so they send up shoots in different areas Oh wait, so we've got to go deeper in there and that would that's kind of the the transition from the purgative to the Illuminative way when god begins to reveal maybe some what i like to call the roots of our root sins And usually it's some kind of a fear Some kind of a fear that again is is linked to my own experience, which might not even be conscious But it's at work Impeding me from trusting god more fully So he'll reveal that and so when he starts to begin to reveal those things you don't want to worry about Is that essentiality or is that pride or is that you know, what don't worry about that? worry about How what is impeding you from trusting god more deeply and he's going to be showing you that And he usually shows it to you by stretching your trust By inviting you to trust more deeply and that hurts and you're and you're disoriented You're scared And that is where he begins to show you what's holding back deeper trust Because the currency of intimacy in any relationship is trust So if holiness means growing in my intimacy with god growing in my community with god Then I'm going to have to keep trusting more deeply more fully So if there's no limit to the intimacy that I can that I can have with god because there isn't right where I'm a spiritual being god is infinite So this relationship is always going to keep growing keep being new. So there's always going to be room for greater trust So the things that come up in my life Are always, you know, once you get kind of past those first stages of the spiritual life Are really the things that are impeding my trust. So don't worry about labeling them as pride vanity or sensuality I would say I would say focus on no, where has god inviting me to trust more and why is that hard for me And kind of dig into that and see where he wants to heal whatever fear is there or counteract whatever fear so you can trust more deeply I love that. That is great. And the other word that comes up for me too when you're thinking about like trust is a lack of control, you know That could be a very fearful thing for for all of us as we step out So thank you for that uh answer So since we talked purgative, illuminative We did have a question From some dear friends of ours. They said regarding the unit away. Do you know any shortcuts? Shortcuts to the unit away. Oh, I like that question. Um Well I'm not going to give one that I invented but there are spiritual writers who have emphasized I'll say two things Maybe not a shortcut to the unit of way, but you know kind of the this the path the most direct path to continued growth right and uh There are some spiritual writers from the second half of the 19th century first half of the 20th century who talk about gratitude as the shortcut to holiness That to cultivate A mindscape. I like that word mindscape. I don't know if it is a word, but you know Basically a mental view of the world which is dominated by um by gratitude Uh opens us up to constantly be receiving god's goodness Uh in a sense gratitude is the antidote to that fear like a a deep attitude a mindscape of gratitude Which we can form gratitude is a virtue that we can exercise especially if there's a tendency to anxiety or a tendency um to depression or a tendency to Uh, yeah, all all those different forms of uh of kind of that negative energy My gratitude is kind of the direct answer. It puts god in his place and and constantly reminds us that His goodness is always flowing right and so that's what accelerates our capacity to trust So that's one thing and then there's another there's one of the the most often quoted pieces of spiritual advice is from thomas akampas's book the imitation of christ In which he says if we would just overcome One vice a year we would soon be saints Now you can turn that around and say if we would just develop and mature one virtue a year We would soon become saints very interesting how some of the most recent um behavioral psychology the good behavioral psychology research that's been coming out is is kind of Showing something similar now. They won't make the connection but I love these connections between kind of not modern sciences and and you know the the wisdom of the tradition of our spiritualized But talking about how if you really want to change a behavior You the one of the most common tendencies is to make a list of all the different things you want to change And then try to change them all at the same time And when you do that you end up making very little progress Whereas if you kind of reflect and you think about what is that, you know If I were just to change one thing if I were to develop One virtue this year mature and one virtue this year or this month or this week whatever it be That would make the biggest impact on helping me trust god more deeply. What would it be? And if you just choose one and then you say, okay And and how what can I do god's gonna have to give me his grace to grow to and super naturally in that But what can I do? Today this week with the one thing that I could do differently that would open myself up to grow in that area So focusing focusing on one thing Um, even you know, my favorite passage from luke chapter 10 Where jesus told martha that she worries and frets about many things When only one thing is necessary right the sense of what is the one thing necessary for you in this season of your spiritual life You don't have to cover it all You don't have to figure all of it out But if you can just identify what lord, what are you asking of me right now and just focus on that then that's the That's the shortcut because he knows what's best when we try to kind of going back to what you said in about control If we try to understand everything and control it all Then we end up getting dispersed and we end up getting distracted And that's one way that the enemy likes to work on our souls And you know to kind of if he can't get us to do super evil things He wants us to get distracted with a lot of good things that maybe god isn't asking us to do So there's a there's a thought there Yeah, and if if you guys can't figure out what virtue to start with I think we're all just gonna hop on gratitude because that's the The other shortcut here But you know what's so great about that too if you think about the purgative way usually the purgative way it's It's purgatory. It's purging. It's purification. It's tough And there's a lot usually a lot external chaos and interior chaos going on As the lord brings us through that and and when these hard things are going on and lots of detachments and and just healing happening Which can you know, it's it's in the middle of the healing. It can be painful but gratitude like just being thankful that you're going through this stuff Thankful for the hard times. Thank you for the craziness It it really does help You know, it keeps you going through all of that and pursuing and and continuing on in in in the healing and on that way um yeah A question in the chat box going back to fear someone's asking how Um, how can we cooperate with god when he wants to heal us from fear? And I had another question someone sent in which I think is a really good question Um, how do we discern between fear and prudence? Yeah, okay. Well, there's two different things going on there. I think uh I'm gonna turn on an extra light the sun's going down here in georgia. So I'm gonna turn my light on That might help a little bit So, yeah fear is is one of those concepts. It's actually very rich. It's very um There's a lot of dimensions to it so One part of the question was about the difference between fear and prudence and the other part of the question was How how do we cooperate with god if you go overcome the fears? Yeah Yeah, um Well, I think there's the first part that how do we cooperate there? You know, there's the direct and the indirect the indirect is Everything we do to nourish our life of personal prayer our mental prayer Is strengthening our courage strengthening our hope Strengthening our confidence in god Because when we any we're spending time with him alone in mental prayer in whatever stage of prayer you're you're in right now Whatever season of life you're in that is what strengthens our knowledge of god kind of that biblical knowledge of god And the more we know him the more we trust him So st. John talks about perfect love casting out fear So as we grow as we receive more and more of god's love Then we we just become more courageous So that's the indirect and then directly know when I know that god is asking something of me Or when I know that he and I'm afraid of it and then That's a time to consciously exercise courage And hope those two virtues go together hope is the assurance You know, I know that that god is going to give me what I need to make to make a successful journey to to his house And then courage is that ability that energy that comes in the face of difficulties in the face of things that that are threatening right, so When we know that god is asking something of us sometimes we just have to make an act of courage In that moment and the more we've been cultivating a knowledge of god a relationship with god In in the normal times when we're not facing huge threats The the more resources will have to be courageous in those times of of threat And then the difference between fear and prudence. So fear is the emotion of fear Is something that is good Right, we're created. It's one of the basic emotions that was built into our organism When something is a threat to us when something could cause damage to us We feel fear Like fear is a clue. Wait a minute. Something is really dangerous here And that can be very useful Because that gives us energy to run away to fight When we know if we didn't know when things were dangerous, that would be kind of a problem You know, that would be an issue, right? So the emotion of fear Is something good. So when i'm feeling something when i'm feeling fear a real important thing Especially in the spiritual life is to to be able to recognize that And to identify what's causing it Because here's where our fallen nature gets us tangled up Fear in itself is a gift But because of our woundedness We can often perceive threats where there really is no threat And and when we do that we get fearful and that triggers all kinds of all this anxious energy But we don't really need that anxious energy because there's not really a threat. It just seems like a threat Because of our woundedness because of our vulnerability, right? So so that's why when we experience fear we need to say, okay Where is it coming from? And once we once we do that like taking the time to do that learning to do that getting help to do that That's an exercise of prudence Prudence is all about choosing the best means to achieve a good goal And fear is telling me there's a threat I need to avoid Okay prudence steps in and says, okay What's the threat? Is it really a threat? If so, what's the best way to avoid it? So they kind of go together Yeah, I love that too and a lot of times we just did a webinar last month on body soul and spirit Even our bodies which is a temple of the holy spirit they the body keeps the score it remembers trauma So your body might just be telling you you might experience anxiety you might experience panic and this fear You can literally feel it in your body. It's telling you danger danger danger, but there's actually Not danger there Um, it's just remembering that there was something dangerous here and it's a it's a gift that god gave to us. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, that's a really good example. Definitely Yeah Okay, great. Um next question. So, um This is the in regards to screw velocity. Um And in the examine which what I love about the examine too is really it is a gratitude exercise Um, since we've been talking about gratitude someone says that Some priests have suggested that the best confessions are specific with number and kind But they have a personal battle with screw velocity. So it's very challenging to do They've considered keeping track in a daily examine the sins and imperfections Is that good practice or is it too much checking the boxes is do you think that's helpful or not helpful? Yeah, I think it depends. That's a really good question My sense is this person is living the life of grace and has been living it for a while as familiar with confession Uh, and in you know in someone In someone's life if they have screw velocity is is present in someone's life And they're living life grace that that's just a heavy cross. That's just to acknowledge it screw velocity is is an oversensitivity to um To the possible sinfulness of certain things Uh, it sounds like it's odd, you know, how could you be oversensitive to sin? But um, you know, so a scrupulous person Will often see sin where there is no sin And that just imagine, you know, how hard that can be what a heavy cross that can be So I don't know this person's particular case. I'm not sure exactly What they're referring to about the priest who recommends sins in number and kind The general recommendation is when we go to confession if we have grave sins Uh, we confess the number and the kind Um, you know, we don't just say, you know, well, I stole But we say, you know, I I defrauded my company three times this past year of a hundred thousand dollars each Each time, you know, so the number and kind of the sin when it's a grave sin Um, and then for venial sins and for imperfections, any, you know, venial sin is where Well, you probably know those distinctions But for those the recommendation of the way to bring them to confession is going to depend on the person's own the person's personality their temperament And the season of their spiritual life Because it's it can be for a scrupulous person It can get very very disturbed experience a lot of interior turbulence Trying to identify every single imperfection and every single venial sin When that really isn't necessary What what's most important For frequent confession as we go is to again to be understanding to be kind of examining. Okay. Where in my life Is god working and how am I responding and and where can where did I respond in a less than christlike way? That's the most important thing now for some people It's going to be if there may be pretty lax then they're going to need help reflecting on that And they're going to say well, you know, they might need they might find it very useful to have a very specific questionnaire That they use saying Ignatius of Loyola used to use his own Particular examine Where you know, there were specific points and he would have his little checkbox and mark an ax and and that was helpful for him For others for someone who's Struggling with scrupulosity. I would say the other I would go to the other side. I would say you give yourself You you determine ahead of time Ideally in conversation with a confessor or a spiritual director with someone you trust You determine ahead of time the frequency of your confession And you determine ahead of time how long you're going to take preparing for that confession And you know, for example, you could say, okay, you're going to go to confession twice a month first friday and third friday And If I'm your spiritual director and you're suffering from scrupulosity I could say something like the following You're going to take you're going to get to the the church early for and you're going to take 10 minutes No more no less to prepare your confession. Whatever comes to mind in those 10 minutes. That's what you're going to confess Um, so that way there's you're you're kind of putting really kind of objective guardrails around this tendency to over analyze Our fault and our weaknesses So I hope that helps a little bit. I don't know and if you wanted to follow up on that at all Yeah, well actually I got a message here that came in it says their parish priest will stand on the side I don't know what that means. Just ask how long since confession, but we do not actually specify sins And that is it is this a valid although I do not feel I fulfilled I feel I fulfilled for given only venial sins on my behalf So maybe like they're doing a general confession or something. Yeah, I'm not sure it's not making a lot of sense to me in general the For a valid confession, we need to confess some sins or some imperfections Some some areas where you know, we recognize that we haven't lived up to to what christ asked of us So, um, I can't imagine a priest saying you don't have to actually confess any of them Um, but if someone's struggling from the scrupulosity, I can I can imagine a spiritual director saying giving some specific guidelines, you know Don't go into too much detail You know, keep your keep keep it simple that type of thing Yeah, he says that their sins are forgiven, but they don't actually say their sins And you know this Does I mean, uh, could you maybe mention to what happens at mass because aren't you know, technically or Venial sins are all forgiven at mass every mass. Oh, yeah so the normal, I mean, uh The normal means for to receive god's forgiveness of our mortal sins is the sacrament of confession That's the gift he's given us for that and Frequent confession and we're only required to go to confession once a year if we have grave sin on our On you know on our conscience, right? That's the that's the church requirement. It's it's Kind of minimalistic in that sense But frequent confession is recommended Because part of the grace of confession isn't just the forgiveness of sins but strength to continue growing in christlike virtue So when we bring our areas of weakness and struggle even if the the sins are are Are venial or even if they're imperfections are not even willed. I'm not even choosing. I'm just noticing my weakness We can still receive the grace of confession In those cases when you're really not when you're confessing mostly imperfections, it's useful as well to say I mean, this is kind of a you know Traditional advice in the spiritual life to say and all the sins of my past life So you bring where you're feeling your weakness Most in this the recent period and then you finish in all the sins of my past life So you bring your sins and your weakness you receive both the forgiveness and the strengthening but That's not the only means the church gives us to receive objectively Forgiveness for our venial sins and our imperfections the act of You know at the beginning of mass when we when we I confess to Almighty God and we receive absolution from the priest That actually is real. It's not just symbolic We're supposed to mean Actually, the the rubric say the priest is supposed to pause When he invites us to call to mind our sins so we can celebrate the mysteries wordly pause So that we can actually call to mind You know our sins our weaknesses our sense of need for God where we need his grace And then we pronounce the confetti or or whichever of the options are given and then we receive absolution So that is a real Forgiveness. It's another gift that God gives us to experience objectively forgiveness for our sins But I also advise, you know, anytime I find that I've fallen into a sin Or I'm feeling my weakness you don't have to wait for confession or for mass To turn to the Lord and say Lord have mercy on me. There I go again And he hears that prayer too That's more subjective, right? That's a subjective encounter with God's mercy But God also gives us these objective ones the sacrament of confession and then the holy sacrifice of the mass Especially that part of it great And this is a little off topic but a question that came in was is it a sin to give a wedding present to To two males That's a tough one. All right, these types of situations are are are becoming so much more present We could probably have a debate about this So let's see. What would I say? And I'll say this too the the the woman that wrote their question and it did not send a gift, but it's feeling a little guilty yeah Well, the reason you'd want to send a gift is because you care about the people or at least one of the people And you still care about them even though you might you wouldn't agree with the choice they've made And so you don't want to condone the choice But you want to make sure you want to still express that you care about the person Uh, and that's how do we do that? That's a great place where you need the virtue of prudence What's the best way to do that? and I find I mean the The very best thing to do is to have And and try to explain like sincerely. Hey, you know, I You know that I don't depending on the relationship, right? You know, I don't approve of the choice But but I still I still love you. I still care about you And and I and I want what's truly good for you And so let me let me rephrase the question So would it be a sin to give a wedding present to two hindus who are being married with the hindu hindu marriage, right? You know because the hindu religion is you know, not the true religion, right? It's not It's not in harmony with the truth. So would it be a sin to it's not the perfect example? But I think the point is similar, you know, we want to be able to find ways that express our love and our esteem for people and our our sincere care for them without necessarily condoning What we what we see is is not true, right? It's not true So It's a tough one I think it would depend a lot on the relationship on the gift and there's other ways to express the love But you want to make sure that you do your part to express that I think that's probably at the core of that question I think we got the perfect answer here. You get the masses said like 30 days of masses for both of them If you give anyone the sacrifice of the mass, right? Yeah, that's a good one There's your gift you care and you're praying for their conversion. So Another question kind of in the same realm if an adult child chooses to marry outside of the church What does the parent do go not go? How do you how do you handle it with charity and in that sin? Yeah, I think the the the really important thing is is that last part, right? And it depends on the relationship depends a lot on the relationship and it depends on the conversation You know, they need to understand what What you're thinking what you believe And what you're feeling and you need to make sure they understand it So if you just boycott the wedding with no conversation, no explanation You could end up driving them further from the church no further from god, right? And if you just go to the wedding without saying anything Uh, you know some a catholic who's getting married outside of the church And then then you could also be encouraging them to to not take seriously What god has revealed to us through the doctrine of the church. So the key is the conversation and um You know, and I think that the actual action will flow from that Uh, you know, you got to have that conversation. You have to show the balance I don't want to give a specific like a one one size fits all rule for these very difficult situations Because it really depends on on a lot of factors Sometimes, you know, sometimes it depends on a lot of factors and these can be you can have gray areas here Uh, I think so that would be my even depending. Why why is the um, Why are they outside of the church? Did they grow up outside? You know, like you grow up without the church and the parent is at a conversion later on or You know, have they did they have a trauma in the church? Did they just leave? Do they know? Do they you know really know? So yeah, it's definitely um hard so um Kind of I don't know if these are the same questions one that just came in and I know we're nearing time But there was one over That someone had sent in prior To the webinar I wanted to get to but the question is basically what stops us from completely giving ourselves over to god And they have a firm resolve to do daily realty daily mass weekly confession They have the freedom to do these things, but they can't seem to do them. It kind of reminds me of, you know, st Paul and the scriptures They they want to break the chain that holds them back what would you what would you recommend and then uh For someone doing that and is that is that connected to becoming a missionary disciple and and When you're done with that, maybe would you just talk about that book and and You know, I don't know if these two are related, but could you read the first sentence of the question again? What stops us from completely giving ourselves over to god? Yeah, okay um Yeah Well, it's actually it's a question. It's a very deep question if you think about it. Um, really We give we give ourselves over to god completely A fresh every day And we give ourselves completely And the completion the completely is relative To our own level of spiritual maturity A five-year-old child um Who meets christ a six-year-old child who meets christ? Uh, who loves christ with a six-year-old mind and a six-year-old heart Can give themselves to christ completely at first communion complete gift of self With their six-year-old mind and six-year-old heart Uh, and then a 17-year-old who Feels the call to consecrate their life completely to god in religious life Gives themselves completely on the day of their profession 17 18-year-old Completely like they're holding nothing back But the completion is the 17-year-old level of self knowledge the 17-year-old level of self possession And then when they're 37 After 20 more years of life spiritual life emotional life relational life apostolic life There they have discovered more about themselves. They've grown And so they renew that total gift of self On you know when they renew their profession 20 years later And it's still a complete gift of self But it's in accordance with my 37-year-old possession and knowledge of myself So this question coming into the person. It's not a question of certain practices that I do are Those are those are the the way That I that I express my gift of self But I can offer my heart you can offer your heart completely yourself completely to god right now We finish this webinar you kneel down in front of your crucifix and you say lord All that I know of myself all that I possess of myself I give it to you and I want to follow you completely And then that gift Continues to you continue to you renew it the next day and you continue to live it out And here's the thing here's where I think there is a connection with Concept of being a missionary disciple Disciple is a follower And as long as we're still in this pilgrimage Through our our lives on earth. We're following christ. We're journeying We're not in the fact. We're not at the father's home You know that comes on the other side And so the gift is constantly renewed We never done giving it I was just reading an article where they quoted I was a Jesuit priest from the last century talked about the only thing we really have to look forward to is death Because that's one that's the only time we can complete in the existential sense the gift of ourselves to god When our life is complete. So the the complete gift is renewed each day now. I hope That if you reflect on that that will help take the pressure off because I'm hearing in that question Some pressure as if I've got to finish it now. I've got to know it's a journey It's it's a daily journey together with the lord and a joyful journey So if you're feeling a pressure and an anxiety Um as if you have to be perfect in the gift already Um, I would say there's something there. Hey relax give yourself completely and then be a missionary disciple today, which means Um a missionary disciple disciples a follower. I obey god I give what he asks I receive what he gives and part of that is always Being a messenger of christ to others and that can take so many different forms. That's the missionary parts I'm like a missile sent out by god and I encounter people and I encounter groups of people And I I explode with the grace of god and and I become a messenger a missionary. So those are two Integral dimensions of what it means to be a christian a christian We continue to follow christ obey him imitate his virtues get to know him grow in our intimacy with him And part of that obedience is we also share with others the discovery of christ So that they too can become all that god created them to be And this book 60 days to becoming a missionary disciple is just 60 short chapters Which kind of break down the two great commandments how to love god with all your heart soul mind and strength And how to love your neighbor as yourself as those two dimensions Disciple and missionary so I have short chapters that can help Kind of educate and stimulate reflection so you can kind of discover where god is inviting you to go deeper in both those dimensions of your identity as a christian Yeah, what I love about all of that too is like the completely giving yourself over to god every day Is it's almost the same? It's the same thing we do with mental prayer every morning It's not about it's it's just about showing up every single day And if we fail that day you just try it again the next day, but if there is a You know, we have to grow in that self-knowledge because in between giving yourself over If we don't understand the gift that we are And don't allow ourselves to receive god's love that like you said all those things are expressions of the way that we're showing love to god Well, we might not believe that we're worthy of his love Deep down So it might be hard to You know do we might have this pressure that you're saying to do all these things for him because we want to express our love We want so badly to be loved by him But at the same time where maybe there's that fear there That's not letting him in because that's that's it might be um, it just might be really scary for us to Understand that we're just loved Without having to do or having to you know, take care of things or be Hyper responsible for others or you know Be perfect these constructs like we said in the very beginning of the things we've built in our In our minds the way that we're supposed to be so Yeah, I just I love that and I I even think you know, we should all just wake up every morning In our beds like I give myself completely to you god, but I think that's great Yeah, thank you so much for sharing that because that that does tie in another theme that came up the trust So going back to the very first line of this question. What is it that holds us back from giving ourselves completely? You could rephrase the question What is keeping me from living a deeper communion with god right now? And it always ends up going back to to area where I can trust more And that trust depends on my experience of being loved by him Of receiving the gift of myself from him over and over again more and more deeply more and more completely Thanks for sharing those thoughts. Yeah Yeah, and then it even ties back to the very first thing about being quiet in prayer because God loves me and we got this great relationship and all of a sudden he's not there and it's like Am I still loved like where are you? You know, it's just yeah, it's great. Um one other last question if you have just a moment I think I know the answer but is there a problem with the mass if the priest's host is not touched during the consecration It was just laid on the patent and the patent was elevated the host was never taken into his hands during the consecration Hmm. Hmm Yeah, uh, it's hard. It's hard for me to answer that I'd want to see the instant replay, you know, see if what he actually did um, I think in general however um If you go to mass and there's nothing that's clearly and obviously an abuse of the right of the church Then then you can trust that god is going to act Uh through the mass and your attendance at the mass In the way that he intends through the mass Even if the priest might do, you know, a couple things that you don't like or you don't understand But you know if he's using the right matter He's not using coke and pizza, you know, and he's basically following the prayers and the rubrics You can be assured that god's going to honor that um, the rubric in that particular case does instruct the priest to Hold the host The non-conspirator host over the altar, which means you pick it up from the patent Now I'd want as I said, I'd want to see the instant replay and I'd want to hear what the priest said Why he didn't do that, you know, especially if he doesn't do it on a regular basis There might be a reason you might have a dispensation the rubric says that if you Um, if you don't remember the rubric or if you've become a little sloppy on the rubric It wouldn't make the I don't think it would make the mass invalid. I don't think so I think it'd still be a valid mass, but maybe not maybe not illicit Consecration but a valid one. That's that but I again, I'd want to see the replay Thanks for the motion, you know the slow motion replay and see what was going on there Great Well, miss Stephanie just uh, Stephanie Burke just wrote great Web and I great to see you God's wisdom through you father praying you can find time to rest at the retreat center with us soon Oh, yes, I haven't been to the retreat center. I keep putting it on my calendar, but it keeps getting pushed out So well and you just said are you're in Georgia? I'm in Georgia. I know I have no excuse drive, right? I'm gonna get out there. I'm gonna get out there Awesome. Well, thank you so much. Thank you everyone if you You know want to say bye in the chat box? You will wrap it up father. Would you give us a blessing as we depart here? sure Heavenly father, I invoke your blessing upon all of the participants in this webinar and their families You know their needs and their hopes and the desires of their heart I ask you to pour out your holy spirit upon them And the special outpouring of the gift of wisdom so that they can know your goodness in a fresh way every every day And holy mary, I invoke your intercession on these beloved children of yours and your brothers and sisters Intercede for them and may the rays of grace that have been entrusted to you not be wasted But penetrate their hearts and their minds and their bodies for the glory of god and the imbents of christ kingdom The lord be with you with your spirit May all almighty god bless you the father and the son and the holy spirit Amen, amen. Thank you so much father. This was a blessing for us. Thank you