 The Grape Nuts and Grape Nuts Flakes program, starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, Rochester, and yours truly, Don Wilson. Have you ever meet the kind of guy I did the other day who cried proudly? Breakfast, never touch it. Oh well, a cup of coffee maybe. I actually saw him boasting about it, you know. What does he think he is anyway, a hummingbird? So I said, why don't you eat breakfast? And he said, all food doesn't look good to me at that hour. Right there I did my good deed for the day by telling him about Grape Nuts and Grape Nuts Flakes. Because that's what these two cereals are made for, to tempt morning appetites with their crisp appetizing texture and swell, molly-rich flavor. And boy do they do the trick. Why a bowl of Grape Nuts or Grape Nuts Flakes brimming with rich milk puts you right on top of the world. But with all their brisk light-heartedness, both are basic seven foods. So their all-around whole grain nourishment helps make any breakfast an adequate breakfast. And that's the kind of breakfast doctors and dietitians tell us we all need every day. No doubt about it friends, eat a good breakfast and you'll do a better job. And for a rousing, swell-tasting breakfast treat, make it Grape Nuts Flakes. Hospital and the 21st Air Fairy Command. So we take you back a few hours and pick up Jack and the gang who are on their way here by plane. They're now 5,000 feet in the air headed for Palm Springs. Gee, it's great to be in a plane like this, isn't it, Mary? Yeah. First one I was ever in where you can open the windows. Yeah. Oh boy, look at those mountains down below us. Are you nervous, Jack? Of course not. Are you, Mary? Of course not. How about you, Dennis? Of course not. Are you nervous, Don? Of course not. When it gets to me, it's gonna hear some new words. Rochester, there's nothing to be worried about. It's a nice smooth trip. And we're in a very modern plane. So you have absolutely no reason to be frightened. What are you honking about? I can't talk with this rabbit's foot in my mouth. Well, that's ridiculous. Now take that rabbit's foot out of your mouth. I gotta take out the horseshoe first. Rabbit's foot in a horseshoe. Rochester, take them both and throw them out the window. Okay. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Well, did you throw them out? Yes, boss, and now there's nothing to hold this plane up with the wings. Rochester, take it easy, will ya? Everybody else is relaxed. Just look at Dennis. Dennis, pull your head in out of that window. Dennis! Jack, you can't hear you with those motors roaring out there. Hey, Mary, watch. I'm gonna have some fun with that kid. I'll put my head out of this front window and make faces at him. Get this. Hey, kid! Jack! Jack, you're too paid! My what? You're too... All of a sudden, I need a shave. You got it too far over your left ear. I want it like that. I feel sporty today. Then turn it around, the laundry mark shows. Oh, Mary, for heaven's sake, everybody gets a shampoo once in a while. Yeah, but they're there when they get us. Oh, quiet. Well, Rochester, how are ya? You getting accustomed to the plane trip? Boss, I don't know how I can be so high and feel so low. I don't know why you act that way, Rochester. So beautiful up here, soaring above the fleecy clouds, with the sun reflecting its golden rays across the horizon, and mountain peaks in the distance, holding their proud heads up to the sky. And the blue... It's no use, boss. My heart just ain't in it. Well, then just sit there and wait till we get to Palm Springs. It's the last time I'll take you on a plane. Thanks, boss. Say, Jack, I wonder what our altitude is now. I don't know, Don. I'm going up front and find out. Don, will you please warn the pilot when you shift your cargo? Not big enough to affect the flight of a plane. Not big enough? Don, Mount Wilson was not only named after you, but there's a family resemblance. You're both bulls at the base. Now, Don, go back and sit in your seats. Please. Oh, Mr. Benny. Huh? Mr. Benny. What is it, Dennis? Well, we took off. I think we forgot somebody. Forgot somebody? I wish it was me. Rochester. All right. I wish it was I. Never mind. Oh, I know. It's Mr. Harris. We didn't forget him filling his orchestra coming up later. Hope he gets to the broadcast on time. Pilot to Don Wilson. Pilot to Don Wilson. Lean to the left. I'm banking for a turn. Don, do as he says. Wilson to pilot. I'm leaning. Pilot to Wilson. I'm banking. To whom it may concern, I'm painting. Rochester, cut that out. Don, you're doing a very good job. Don't let your stomach get off the beam. Say, Mary, hey, where's Mary? She went up front to talk to the pilot. Oh. Say, pilot. Yes? How long before we arrive in Palm Springs? Palm Springs. Well, it's about time somebody told me where we were going. Uh, you mean you didn't know? Oh, nobody tells me anything. They just put me in a plane and point. No kidding. Once they had a dispatcher with a crooked finger and I flew around in circles for three days. Oh, for heaven's sake. I passed Mrs. Roosevelt twice. Where are all those different gadgets there? Well, this is the altimeter. This is the oil pressure gauge. That's the tachometer. This is the airspeed indicator. Uh-oh, don't turn that one. Why, what is it? I don't know, but every time I turn it, I fall out. Well, I never heard of that before. By the way, Miss Livingston, I meant to ask you something. Is Jack Benny your boyfriend? Well... Well, is he? Oh, in a way he is. Oh, he is, huh? Well, there's a war on, you know. Oh, say, pilot. Uh, when we get to Palm Springs, I wish you'd tell me a good place to eat, because I have many. No kidding, Mr. Benny. Did they really let you fly a plane when you were in Africa? Oh, sure, Dennis. I can fly. I handled a plane like I was born in it. Gosh, were they invented then? Certainly. Of course they were. I'm only 20, 39. That's all. Gee, when I'm 39 like you are, I hope I look like 39 like other people do. I figured that out in my own little mind. Well, just figure out what song you're supposed to sing when we get... Hey, Mary, where were you? I was up front talking to the pilot. He asked me if you were my boyfriend. Oh, really? Why'd you tell him? I told him I was kind of nuts about you, but you were the blaze type that didn't show much affection. Uh-huh. And I also told him I was in love with you, because you were a combination of Charles Boyer, Gary Cooper and Robert Taylor. Oh, how could you, Mary? I mean, Cooper is much taller than I am. I mean, what else did you say? Uh, then I told him you had more sex appeal than Clark Gable. Oh, that's sweet. And did he believe you? Oh, sure. You ought to meet him, Jack. He's nuts. He is not. He's one of the nicest... Pilot to Wilson. Pilot to Wilson. Please inhale. I'm trying to climb. Go ahead, Don. Use both lungs, Mr. Wilson. Please! Oh, Rochester, stop worrying. What are you, a man or a mouse? Boys, can you hear me? Yes. Then shake the paw of a token mouse. Oh, for goodness' sake. The next time we... Pilot to control tower. Pilot to control tower. Coming in for a landing. Control tower to pilot. Control tower to pilot. Everything okay? Rochester to Mother Earth! Rochester to Mother Earth! Here comes your boy! And you thought you needed that rabbit's foot and horseshoe. Well, here we are, fellas. Palm Springs. Sometimes I feel so very certain that you care. And there are times I feel we don't belong. The more I fall for you, the more I must beware. It's plain trip we had, wasn't it, kid? It sure was, Mr. Benny. Say, is Rochester really a mouse? I'll say it is. Then I better keep my trap shut. Then stop guessing at jokes. Say, Jack, you didn't have a chance to eat before the show, did you? To eat? Oh, sure, Don. Remember, when you came straight to the theater, Mary, Dennis, and I stopped off at a restaurant. You know, the one down here in the corner. I wonder what's good to eat. Mary, let me see your menu. Here you are, Jack. What do you want to take a chance on? What do you mean, take a chance on? They didn't print the prices. I never quibble about prices. Now, let's see. What do I want? I'm going to have a hot fudge sundae on whole wheat toast. I've heard everything now. Here comes the waiter. Oh, yes. Your orders, please. How much in coffee? I want breakfast, some fruit and cereal. Oh, we have orange juice, tomato juice, grape nuts, and grape nuts flakes. Oh, good. I don't know which to have. Grape nuts or grape nuts flakes? They're both delightful. And you get one delicious flavor in two distinctive forms. Well... You like them. They're multi-witch, sweet as a nut, and new twishes. Well... Okay, I'll have some grape nuts flakes. With cream? Of course. Of course. Hurry it up, will ya? Certainly. Say, Mary, isn't that waiter peculiar? Oh, just a whittle. You can stop with that. Say, look who's here. Hiya, Jackson. I just got in. Oh, you finally made it, eh, Phil? Yeah, and you know what, Jackson? I was driving along and just outside of Pomona, I saw a rabbit's foot on the road, so I stopped to pick it up. Yeah? And while I was bending over, I got hit on the head with a horseshoe. No kidding. That was Mr. Benny's fault. He made rockets. Dennis! Say, Phil, did you bring all your boys with ya? Yeah, all except Wilbur, my trombone player. You know, Jackson, I had to fire that guy. Why? He drinks. Oh, fine. You're certainly the right guy to fire anybody because he drinks. Well, that stuff's too scarce. I can always get a trombone player. Oh, I see. Well, I knew you had a good reason. Well, Phil, now that you're here, you better go over to the theater and set up your band number. What are you gonna play? Oh, I don't know. I'll either play Schubert's Unfinished Symphony or Pistol Packin' Mama. I see. Because I can finish Pistol Packin' Mama. You can finish any song. Now go over and rehearse it. Okay, Jackson, see you later. Here comes the food. I'm sorry for the duet, folks. Here's your steak sandwich, Miss. And here's your grape nut flakes. Thank you. And here, little man, here's your hot fudge sundae on whole wheat toast. Oh, boy. Hmm, Dennis, I hate to tell you this, but only a jerk would eat a hot fudge sundae on toast. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, you're not getting any of mine. Oh, what's the use? Come on, Mary. We better hurry and eat. I want to get back by the time Phil gets through rehearsing his number. Uh, what did he say he's gonna play? Schubert's Pistol Packin' Mama I don't know something about that. Say, waiter, those grape nut flakes were good. They're crunchy, too. Now, come on, kids. Goodbye, waiter. Goodbye. Ha, ha, ha. Oh, blood and guts. Why isn't that cute? He knows me. Come on, Jack. Let's go. Pardon me, stranger. Yes? My name is Slim Barton. I'm a reporter on The Desert Sun. I see. Is this your first time in Palm Springs? No, I've been coming here for years. Well, it's a nice place to come to. This is one spot where the sun shines 365 days a year. It does? Well, it was a little cloudy this morning. Smile when you say that, partner. I'm sorry. Where do you hail from, stranger? I come from Los Angeles. From Los Angeles, eh? Who helped you break trail? No one. I walk behind a greyhound bus. Well, tell me, stranger, have you seen anything? Have you been getting around this here town much? Well, I've been to the colonial house, The Desert Inn, Deep Well Ranch, 139 Club, The Dell Tokwits. Have you been to Desmond's? Yes. Bullocks? Bullocks, yes. I like to rough it now and then. Have you been to the Lone Palm? What did you say, mister? I said, have you been to the Lone Palm? Have I been to the Lone Palm? Let me tell you a story, young man. Come closer. This may be interesting. Very interesting. Palm Springs in 49. Wine, women's saloons. All centered around the mad scramble for gold. The scene is the Lone Palm Cafe in the days of the gold rush. Run by Pistol Pack and Mary. Also known as Livy the Leech. The scene opens, we find her talking to Curly Harris. Her front man and bouncer. Well, how does it look, Curly? Oh, everything's all right, Livy. The suckers are at it again. Good. How's the roulette wheel doing? Okay. Dead Eye Pete lost 15,000, Grubstay Gallagher lost 18, and Mervin the Mug just dropped 22,000. That's funny. Them guys all work for the house. Yeah, the wheels so crooked, even the shills are losing. That's right, Liv. Who's the character, Livy? That's rattlesnake Benny, the prospector. He must have struck gold. Stand aside, everybody. For 21 days I've been out on that hot desert. I drinkin' water out of a rusty tin can. I drinkin' water out of an old hat. I drinkin' water out of my dirty hands. Now let me at that bar. What'll it be, partner? Give me some water and a glass. A mascara mouth mini. I've been out on that scorchin' desert a long time. Mini, so give me a kiss. Okay, rattlesnake. Well, come on, gal. Let's sit down. Say, Curly, now that rattlesnake has struck it rich, we ought to go to work on him. That's right, Livy. We ought to stir him over to that wheel of fortune. Okay. Hey, rattlesnake, you've been pretty lucky lately. How'd you like to take a chance on the wheel? Okay, Livy, don't mind if I do. 28 has always been my lucky number. Okay, Chance, get your bets down and your hands up. 15,000 bucks on 28. 13, you lose. Hmm, 28's my lucky number. Another 15,000 on 28. 13, you lose. Hmm, I'll try it once more. 15,000 on 28. Is 20? 13, you lose. I wouldn't exactly say that wheel is crooked, but it ad-libs a lot. Well, I ain't gonna gamble anymore. Say, Curly, rattlesnake's still got a big pile left. What are we gonna do? Well, there's only one man that can work on him. Who? Dennis the Shell. Okay, I'll, here he comes now. Hello, Dennis. Hello, Livy. Pour me some iron's juice and blow the seeds off. Now listen, Dennis, rattlesnake Benny's over at the bar and he's loaded with gold. Take care of him, will ya? Yeah, you know like you always do. Okay, leave it to me. Hello, rattlesnake. Hello, kid. Have a drink on me. No, thanks. I gotta stay sober so I can clip you. Hmm. Wanna play poker? Sure, you look like an honest man. Shake hands. Not so hard. You're shaking the cards out of my sleeve. Well, let's sit down and start with a clean deck. Okay? I'll play a no-draw hand for a thousand bucks. Shuffle them, partner. All right, now deal them. I can't. My fingers are stuck in the cards. Never mind your fingers. Just deal them. Now quiet, everybody. There's a big game on here. What have you got? Pour deuces. There you are. Pour tunes. You win. I got four lousy ones. I'm coming, Dennis. I'm a cheatin', but he's a-winnin'. That's not right. Is it, Miss Livingston? Hey, what's goin' on here? If I'll be in fleece, Libby, I'm gonna wreck this joint. Hey, Curly. Come on over. There's trouble here. I'll say there's trouble. I'll listen, kid. You try to double-cross me, so reach for your gun. Okay, rattlesnake. But give me a chance. I got a zipper on my holster. I'll give you a chance. Get up on your feet. We'll count three and fire. One. Two. Three. We got the bartender and Curly. Let's try it again. Okay. One. Two. We got Minnie and Libby. Yeah. Let's try it again. Why not? We're perfectly safe. Now let's face each other. One. We got each other that time. Say, friends, ever notice how often it happens that when you do a good turn for someone else, the tumor hangs right back and helps you, too. Well, that's where we all stand with Uncle Sam's new food program, Food Fights for Freedom. By helping Uncle Sam, we help ourselves. And here's how. One of the things we're asked to do is buy more foods that are plentiful. Serials with whole grain nourishment, for instance, like grape nuts and grape nut flakes. Well, you can't do a better turn for yourselves, folks, than to get even better acquainted with these two delicious, malty-rich breakfast treats. Sure, they're good to eat. I guess you all know that. But there's a whole lot more to the story than just their swell taste. Both grape nuts and grape nut flakes are basic seven foods, crammed full of energy-giving, whole grain nourishment. And, ladies, you just can't think up a thriftier buy than those two famous breakfast cereals. So help yourselves, help your budget, and help Uncle Sam buy foods that are plentiful and for downright good-eating by Grape Nuts and Grape Nuts Flakes. Well, folks, it's been a privilege to broadcast here for the personnel of the Air Fairy Command and the Turney Military Hospital. And we're with you again next Sunday night at the same time. Good night, everybody.