 When the narcissist realises what they've done. When the narcissist becomes aware of a fault or mistake that they have made. When they understand clearly what they have done. While it is true that narcissists lack self-awareness. While it is true that they lack conscious knowledge of their own character and feelings. There are experiences or situations. Where the narcissist does develop some level of awareness over what they have done. They may not develop an understanding of this at the time that they did something wrong. But at some point they may come to this realisation. They may become aware and understand that what they did was not right. When this happens they will feel shame. They will feel like they are a bad person. They will experience a painful feeling of humiliation or distress. Caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behaviour. And this will be followed by them trying to focus on something else. Or trying to distract themselves with an activity or a source of supply. They are not going to entertain this for long periods of time. There may be brief windows where they do realise what they have done. But this feeling quickly subsides. It quickly becomes less intense or severe. If they were to entertain these thoughts over a long period of time. They wouldn't be able to function as a narcissist. Or they would develop into a narcissist that is self-aware. This level of awareness would change the way they think, feel, act and behave. The reason why the narcissist has managed to operate in this way for such a long period of time is either by having a enabler who lets them get away with doing whatever they like. Or by denying their actions. Projecting their insecurities onto someone else. Shifting the blame onto someone else. Or using gaslighting. This is how the narcissist manages to avoid accountability for their actions. But what activates this process, what triggers them to react in this way is that small window where they realise what they've done. That small window where they experience shame. When the narcissist feels shame. It triggers a narcissistic injury. They feel as though you are attacking them. In that moment it causes the false self to collapse. Because it is no longer being supported. It is no longer being validated. So the survival of the false self is at risk. And that is why in that moment they experience narcissistic rage. Because they feel like they are in a fight for their lives. They are doing everything they can to defend the false self. But for them to react in this way. There must have been a brief moment where they realised what they did. Where they realised they're not perfect. Where they realised their false self doesn't even exist. They become so angry towards you. Because they're doing everything they can to protect and defend their false self. Their disorder is programmed to block and deny the very things that they need the most. The very things that could cure them from this illness. Because it's focused on survival. They became narcissists in order to survive. In order to protect themselves. Because deep down they feel like they're constantly at risk of danger or harm. They feel like people are constantly out to get them. But there's really nothing you can do to get them to see what they've done. They're already aware of what they've done at some level. But they're not going to entertain those thoughts and ideas for long periods of time. They will do whatever it takes to push it away. They will do whatever it takes to distract themselves. So that the false self can continue to exist. Everything the narcissist engages in is a distraction from reality. Everything they do is escapism. They have a tendency to seek distraction and relief from their unpleasant reality. Often by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy. They reside in a fantasy world. And the only way you can communicate with them without making them angry is by entering this world. You cannot pull them into reality without triggering a narcissistic injury. Because the false self cannot exist in reality. As soon as you question their delusional sense of entitlement or superiority. In that moment you are pulling them into reality. It makes them feel like their false self is under attack. So they will defend their false self. They will become very aggressive towards you. It will seem like they are trying to attack you. When all they are really trying to do is protect and defend their false self. And this is what happens when the narcissist realises what they've done. They do whatever they can to protect their false self. They deny. Project. Blameshift. Or gaslight. Whatever it takes to get the heat off of them. So that their false self can continue to exist. But that does not mean they don't realise what they've done. They are consciously aware of what they have done to you. Although some narcissists may lack conscious awareness of their own character and feelings. They know what they're doing. And there are brief moments where they might experience shame. There are brief moments where they might experience humiliation and distress. As a result of their actions. And that is when they will seek distraction and relief. From their unpleasant reality. They will avoid talking about the truth and reality of the situation. They will be more attuned into their false self. Because the narcissist would rather live a lie. Than to entertain the fact that they did something wrong. Than to entertain how they really feel about themselves. And that is why they are so out of touch with reality. Because they're doing everything they can. To avoid reflecting on the fact that they're not perfect. To avoid reflecting on a fault or mistake that they have made. And that is why you cannot get through to them. Than not even in there anymore. Because reality was just too painful for them to deal with. Thank you for watching. I hope this video has made it with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. Check out the new Narc Survival website at www.narcsurviver.uk Where you can read my blog posts, book coaching sessions and join a support forum. If you'd like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching inquiries, you can email me at coaching at narcsurviver.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.