 It's going to be a tough time for many of us being out of routine for a portion of it over the holidays and maybe spending too much time maybe on our own or eating too much or the whole just having to be happy when maybe you're anything but and you've got to pretend but there was a campaign that started in Dublin over ten years ago to use the first weeks in January each year to challenge the whole stigma around mental health through arts and culture and the the festival is called first fortnight it celebrates the arts and as a as a catalyst really for having conversations around mental ill health and challenging any stigma that's associated with it as part of the this year's festival there's a number of events happening here in Dunnegull one of them is a big variety concert it's in a green in theatre in letter Kenny this Thursday is called head heart and soul features some speakers and some music we'll get to them shortly but one of the speakers is a renowned author and psychotherapist and TEDx speaker Petra Velsibor and Petra was actually born into a cult and traveled around the world and was raised to believe that actually the world was about to end and let a double life for years but we'll be at the event on Thursday and I'm glad to say it now joins us on the line if I can just do one more thing so we can hear Petra correctly it's a one little thing to catch a shot but now Petra's there and joining us in vision as well as as on the radio Petra good afternoon hi there thanks so much for having me okay you're gonna talk at this event on on Thursday and you're you're upbringing by the sound of things was far from conventional absolutely you could say that I think I grew up in lots of countries lots of places lots of cultures and if there were some good bits it's funny when I tell people that I grew up in a commune they get quite excited these days because people are lonelier than ever and are struggling in different ways but then there was a dark side so then you've got the cult element which is coercive control religious thinking you know stuff that that was less good mental health and you say it traveled a lot but then eventually I don't know whether it was down to travel or not but eventually you you get out of it and we're able to sort of start your own life absolutely so I was 22 I was leading a double life as you said so I actually was dating somebody who was outside of the cult which you weren't supposed to do I fell pregnant with my son who is now 20 years old which is pretty amazing and but that led me to London to kind of moving here not knowing anyone cutting all ties and I didn't go to school as a kid which meant I now have this kid I'm in a new city I don't know anyone I don't know the rules for life and kind of have to start from scratch I don't want to brush over you there's a lot to squeeze in but and I don't want to brush over your time spent in commune but it must be incredibly hard to sever ties and to to get away it is like often when I do keynotes people the first question people ask me is how did you escape and they sort of have this image of you know a prison like walls and you have to you know a plan an escape but of course it's much more complex than that because there are no walls right it's really the the walls are up in your head they they're about how you think about yourself and how you view the world and so it really can take a long time and for many of us lots of mental health crash points before figuring out how to move forward well you did figure out a way to move forward and and then you had a boy on the surface things were going great because you're the boyfriend who was offered work you were able to stay at home and look after two children yeah yeah I had my daughter as well but it's it's on the side of that was on the surface behind the scenes of a different story well and you started this by talking about Christmas and holiday season and I think a lot of people can relate to like what looks what it looks like on the outside might not be what it feels like on the inside so for me I started descending into depression alcohol addiction and really the extremes of suicidal thoughts and just thinking I don't want to be here anymore and I don't think I'm worth anything is where it got me to and yeah unusually you set yourself a one year deadline to take your own life not the smartest of approaches it has to be said a very unusual not one that we would encourage by any means but nonetheless it brought things into focus for you yeah and I'm glad you said that because as a psychotherapist I would never advise somebody to do that but certainly for me it gave me this window of opportunity because I thought okay I've I've hit sort of my end point I've got nothing else to lose why don't I experiment with all of the tools people said were good for your mental health because before that I thought well they're not going to work for me I've tried everything was kind of stuck in a victim mindset based on my past and this sort of freed me up to experiment and so when it comes to mental health I encourage people to not just think it's a one-size-fits-all follow the three-step thing on Instagram or whatever it might be but really reflect and experiment on what works for you at different phases of your life okay you found yourself back in the in the workforce and in a way experiencing feelings like you'd almost left one cult in your you're in another one it just wasn't working it's just strange how I thought that once I left that I would be free and everything would just be straightforward but it turns out there's little cults everywhere which is what I mean by that is power greed people kind of making people work and think and do things that maybe aren't good for their mental health so I'm very grateful for the work experience and the career that I've had but I started my own business because I got a little bit fed up that where I was working people would say the right thing even in the mental health space but be doing something very different so for me leading a double life led to very poor mental health and I had to integrate and just be myself in what I do so you wanted to talk it and walk it all of the above it's just the only way to be now yeah yeah and tell us what your own company does PVL yeah PVL so we're a strategy and training company working with workplaces to think about the culture piece so it's not just what do you do when people have ill mental health right or when they're struggling it's kind of late by then right how do we actually create cultures that normalize conversations about good mental health about happiness performance productivity these sorts of things long before we get to to those extremes so your advice to companies will be to be proactive rather than reactive absolutely yeah okay listen that's just a synopsis of your story it will be fleshed out on Thursday and they'll be presumed more advice in there as well and people are just going to have to go along to the event to find out more Petra thank you very much for sharing a little snippet and we look forward to it on Thursday I'll let you go thank you thank you also joined in the studio by Bill Vaughan of a mental health Ireland and Bill you you've pretty much organized this event and great to hear from Petra there she is going to be talking at it and by the sound of things you know an inspired choice as a speaker but there's another there's another speaker as well a very a very interesting woman by by the looks of things tell us a little bit about her yes Jacinta Kitt Jacinta used to be a national school teacher and then she went she went she retired from national school teaching and went into the mental health field and she now part-time lecture with Trinity College and also then goes around giving talks as well a wee bit like Petra and the the mental health in the work field but I saw her recently down in Galway at Galway Mental Health Association we're having I think their 20th year anniversary and Jacinta was speaking absolutely brilliant you were impressed enough to sign her up for this oh I I wasn't sure would she be able to come up you know so I got the number I got a contact number I was delighted then because she's so down to earth and she's one of these people that you know it just talks common sense common sense and you leave feeling better after hearing people can relate to what she's yeah yeah and then with so that's the two speakers on the night yes but I'll talk talk yeah and it shouldn't be either because you know with that length of a concert you need you need to kind of you need a breaks so I have two bands well one band which is the Fades they're young local band of I know they've been up they've been up in Highland a few times I think so they're opening a show and then after the break we have Matt McGrenan accompanied by Denise Roper Matt on the fiddle most people no matter absolutely renowned fiddle player fantastic I went to see him at a it was towards the end of the Ericka Large Festival himself and Denise were doing a show and it's actually coming in February again to and green but it was fantastic and I remember leaving that show thinking he that could be get if I got him well it'll be good yeah yeah so it's great that you've secured Matt and and also Denise backing the keyboard so yeah I mean a variety in a way it's a variety concert in the true sense of the word so you have a couple of guest speakers and it's a great musical acts as well and also John too like as part of the week two here in the Northwest for the first night first fortnight festival the wellness cafes are doing writing workshops I think what I'm doing and that I kind of doing a music workshop so details of all this can be got on the first fortnight website so this means that if you go along to one of the wellness cafes it's a chance to learn a bit more about creative writing is it yes in a very casual way you know it's it's like the usual cafe a chat and cup of tea coffee but there'll be people that are kind of just explaining what creative writing is all about and things like that workshops as well there's also a show on Friday called ghosts in the in the theater as well and that's part of the part of the festival to as well as there's a kind of exercise event a walk basically in the park on Friday as well so there's lots happening yeah there is and and these are things that are meant to entertain and to stimulate and maybe just start and to overcome and stigma that's attached with mental health illness and and in many ways to start a conversation and as you say at the wellness cafes it's just a casual conversation with but who knows where it could lead to yeah yeah I I will go down to the Thursday one and green in the cafe down below and it's just a great atmosphere great get together people just getting together have a chat you know and it's particularly great for people who are struggling with their mental health yeah and it could be this week or this month or this year but if it's the here and now then by all means go along or or even if you're not go along and have a chat with somebody maybe that is yeah yeah like this is the the talk about blue blue Monday isn't it the saddest day of the year I was looking to see what is it it's the down here summer 16th of January 16th 16 so this will that's when the bills start coming in isn't it yeah yeah yeah and that we stretch before if you're paid monthly the we stretch before you get paid and you're you're running on empty okay feeling the pressure alright so we're a week away from that on the yeah in the meantime it's this Thursday it's an ingredient theater in a letter Kenny for that event but there's other other things started around through the week as part of the festival and it's a first fortnight dot IE yeah yeah they'll get all the events there Bill best look with best look with the week thanks for coming in thanks a million John thank you get with the best virgin media Ireland's best broadband with full fiber and speeds of two gig is now available in Donegal check your area on virgin media dot IE it's play time