 Dedicated to the strength of the nation, now heard on 1,000 radio stations, proudly we hail. Starring Helen Walker in No Room for Divorce, a United States Army and United States Air Force presentation. And now here is your host, the well-known Hollywood showman, C.P. McGregor. Greetings from Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome once again to your theater of stars, Proudly We Hail. Our star today, Helen Walker, has already won her spurs as one of the fine young dramatic actresses of Hollywood. But here on Proudly We Hail, we approve of Miss Walker's versatility as we present her in a gay comedy, No Room for Divorce. Miss Walker plays the role of Barbara Dempsey, a young woman who can't overlook the shortcomings of her husband until she comes face to face with the shortcomings of her friends. The curtain for act one in a moment, but first, these brief words from Wendell Niles. Mr. and Mrs. America, let's think about your regular army and U.S. Air Force for a minute. Your soldiers and airmen are above average, intelligent young Americans. They're ambitious. They're anxious for and receiving a rounded education. They're taking vocational training and they're engaged in a worthy career, that of making the world a safe place to live in for themselves and for you. Give them your support. Now once again, it's a microphone or producer. And now, act one of No Room for Divorce starring Helen Walker as Barbara Dempsey. The story of Barbara and Bill Dempsey. When Bill finished his job in service, he found Barbara waiting for him just outside the separation center. And according to Barbara, she spent the next 18 months waiting for Bill to get time off from his next job, building houses without materials. But Bill didn't get time off. So now they're in another separation center, the Divorce Court. Next case. Dempsey versus Dempsey. Are they here? I'm here, Your Honor. So am I, Your Honor. But this whole thing is ridiculous. There's absolutely no reason why Barbara, that is, Mrs. Dempsey and I should be in a divorce court. This certainly is, Your Honor. There is not. This is! Remember me, the judge? Naturally, Your Honor. Good. Because I'm the one who's going to decide whether or not you should be in a divorce court. Now, just why do you think you should have a divorce, Mrs. Dempsey? Because Bill, that Mr. Dempsey, doesn't love me anymore. He's out of her mind, Your Honor. I'm crazy about him. Then why doesn't he ever ask like it, Your Honor? Why doesn't he ever take me anywhere? Is he ashamed of me? Why don't you ever take Mrs. Dempsey anywhere, Mr. Dempsey? Because I don't have the time, Your Honor. After I get through looking for materials and then go to the office and do some figuring, it's too late to go anywhere. So we just sit. I don't mind it. What business are you in, Mr. Dempsey? I'm a building contractor, Your Honor. Did you say building contractor? That's right, Your Honor. You know where I can get a house. Well, not right at the moment, but, uh... Well, every once in a while, I run into something. See, Your Honor, is this a divorce court or a real estate office? Hmm? Now, see here, young woman, don't tell me how to run my business. I'm sorry, Your Honor. Eh, you ought to be. Is this a divorce court or a real estate office? If this was a real estate office, do you think I'd be sleeping in the cell block? You're sleeping in the cell block, Your Honor. You heard me. I had to suspend three sentences last week to keep from getting crowded out of my cell. This is all very interesting, Your Honor, but I'd rather talk about my divorce. When do I get it? Not for 30 days at least. I don't believe in divorces myself, and that'll give you a chance to patch things up. I'm not interested in patching things up. Well, I am. And so am I. And that's a court order, Mrs. Dempsey. Oh. Well, do I get the apartment while we're waiting? Certainly. It's customary for the woman to... Oh, not Judge. If Mrs. Dempsey gets the apartment, where will I live? You can stay in the cell block with the judge. I'm afraid that's impossible, Mrs. Dempsey. I've got two bailiffs in a court report are rooming with me now. Anyway, Judge, if I have to leave the apartment, how are Mrs. Dempsey and I going to patch things up? You're absolutely right. I'm going to reverse myself, Mrs. Dempsey. Mr. Dempsey can use the apartment, too. But, Your Honor... That's another court order, Mrs. Dempsey. Judgment withheld for 30 days. Try and make up. Gosh, baby, you had me worried when you tried to get the judge to kick me out of the apartment. Well, I hope you'll be very happy here. Well, I'll be happy any place is your with me. Well, then get happy in a hurry, because I won't be with you long. Uh-huh. Oh, now, Barbara, you... Judge didn't order me to stay in the apartment with you, and I'm not going to. I'm going to stay with Ellen and Jack Janis. Well, who are they? She's my best friend. But, of course, you wouldn't know any of my friends. Oh, now that isn't fair, Barbara. Hey, wait a minute. I want to talk to you. Well, then talk to me while I'm patching. Packing? Oh, you're not serious about this? About leaving right now? I was never so serious about anything in my life. Look, baby, if you'll just relax, I promise I'll do anything. I promise. When we were married, you promised to love me. I adore you. Oh, no, you don't. Stand there. Help me close this bag. Please, Barbara, listen to me. I don't want you to go. I love you. I need you. Will you please get out of my way? Barbara, darling. Can't you see I'm trying to use the phone? Hello? Will you please call a taxi for apartment 307? Thank you. Please, Barbara, forget this, won't you? No, Bill. My mind's made up and nothing in the world will stop me from going to live with Ellen. That must be the taxi now. Oh, not this fast. Come on out, please. Oh, this telegram. It isn't for me. It's for you, from your friend Ellen, the guy you were going to live with. What do you mean, the girl I was going to live with? Well, listen to this. Mrs. William Dentley is over. Landlord has sold our house, being evicted today. Jack and I are coming to live with you until we can find another house. I do the same for you. Love, Ellen. Brother Dentley, that certainly loses up your plans. Not particularly. I was only leaving because I refused to live alone with you for the next 30 days. With Jack and Ellen here, I'll have plenty of company. In fact, you may wish I'd gone to live with them instead. You know, Barbara, I've been doing a lot of things. Well, when do you expect your friend and her husband to arrive? Probably tomorrow. Well, maybe I could find a room for them somewhere and we could go right. You can find a room for them. You can find a room for yourself. And I'll go right back to the judge and tell him so. He was going to give me the apartment in the first place, you know. Yeah, it's kind of the awfully crowded. Four adults in one bedroom apart in half. Ellen and her husband and I won't mind. We usually see eye to eye on things. Well, that's what I had in mind. If any argument comes up, it'll be ducky. Three to one. I thought of that. Well, if they're going to move in on us, they'll have to pay their share of everything. They will not. They're my guests. Yes. They send you a wire saying they're moving in and their guests. I was going to move in on them. But you didn't. Well, I intended to. Hello, Reggie. Harry Randolph. Where are you? Well, come on up. I have apartment 307. Yeah, boy, will I be glad to see you. Who is that? Harry Randolph. A guy flew within Europe. Oh, what a guy. Where was he calling from? He's in the lobby. He'll be right up. Oh, yes, I almost slipped my mind. He'll be staying with us for a few days. Don't be idiotic. Where could we possibly put him? Well, I don't know. But if there's room for four, there must be room for five. Besides, it'll make three to two. Well, why can't he stay at a hotel or a motel or something? Oh, why can't you operate? Because, well, because they're my friends. But that's no reason why you... Well, it's a good enough reason for me. Anyway, you'll like Harry. Women are nuts, huh, boy? Really? Yeah, English, French, Belgian, Dutch. Well, when I could have set up a harem with just his overflow. Well, if I hadn't been married, of course. Of course. Did you say his name is? Harry. Harry Randolph. Nice name. Hey, what are you up to now? Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if maybe I couldn't change your odds from three to two to four to one. Oh, now look, Barbara, don't get any funny ideas about Harry. He's dynamite. Sounds more interesting every minute. Maybe I can be his little fuse. Come, please, Barbara. Now, look, he's my friend and all that, but just the same. I don't want you to... You'd better answer the door before your friend breaks it down. What did you promise? I'll promise nothing. Open the door, Bill. Dear. Oh, Bill, you're a lifesaver. Yeah. Come on in, Harry. Oh, gosh, I was really snare food until I thought of you. I've tried every hotel in this town... Is this your wife? Uh-huh. Uh, it's Barbara. This is Harry Randolph. How do you do, Mr. Randolph? Oh, please call me Harry. All right. Harry. That's better. I, uh, wanted to think of you as Barbara, not as Mrs. Bill Densey. Oh, that's an interesting thought. Yeah, I can see now why Bill always stayed in his quarters at night instead of going out on the town with the rest of it. Oh, did he? Look, Harry, wouldn't you like some wine or something? Oh, later, maybe, Bill. Right now, I'll get enough stimulation just, uh, looking at Barbara. Why, Harry... Bill doesn't ever say nice things till I say it to me, do you, Bill? You wouldn't believe him if I did. Oh, uh, how long are you planning on staying, Harry? Bill, what a thing to ask. Harry just got here, and... Well, I hope he'll be staying with us for some time. Wild horses couldn't drag me away, Barbara. As a matter of fact, I was only planning on staying over night, but, uh, now that I've seen the attractions, I think I'll stay for a few days, anyway. Well, isn't that wonderful, Bill? Yeah, just dandy. Oh, you're a lucky dog, Bill. A good job in apartment, happily married, and... Bill, what's the matter, Bill? What are you choking about? Oh, no, no, nothing. I was just thinking the same thing. Oh, home of your own. A little love nest where you can get away from the world, lock the doors, and find the world's moved in with you. Don't mind, Bill, Harry. He has a lot on his mind these days. Oh. In fact, we haven't had a chance to go out together for six months. That isn't till this morning. Well, I've been awfully busy, Harry. You know how it is. When a job has to be done, it has to be done. As a consequence, I haven't been able to vote as much time to Barbara as I'd like to, and... Oh, I know. I thought you'd understand. Perfectly. Well, maybe my coming here was a favor to you after all. What do you mean? Well, when you're out on a job or having to work late at the office, I can squire Barbara around and take that responsibility off your hand. What do you say, Barbara? Well, it sounds like dynamite to me. What do you think, Bill? Oh. We keep from our story no room for divorce, starring Helen Walker to bring you an important message. Veterans, do you ever have a yearning to be back with your old outfit? If you have, here's your chance. Eight well-known Army units now in the United States have come from men with previous military experience, men of all branches. If you have served abroad since September 1, 1945, you can enlist directly for one of the following outfits, the 2nd, 4th, 5th, and 9th Infantry Division, the 2nd and 3rd Armored, the 82nd Airborne, and the 2nd Engineer Special Brigade. Yes, sir, yours for the asking, and a good soldier will be guaranteed at least three years where the unity is chosen. Let me give you those names again. 4th, 5th, and 9th Infantry Division, 2nd and 3rd Armored, 82nd Airborne, and the 2nd Engineer Special Brigade. There's a good chance you can enlist in non-commission grade, too. Stop by at your local Army recruiting station tomorrow for the details. And now, act two of No Room for Divorce, starring Helen Walker as Barbara Dempsey. It's a week later in the lives of Barbara and Bill Dempsey, a week spent sleeping on the floor while their three uninvited guests occupy their bedroom and the apartment's lone-day bed. Right now, Bill and Barbara are closeted in the kitchen, where they can privately discuss the situation, which has, temporarily at least, made them forget their quarrel. Don't help me, Barbara. I'm getting so that I hate this sort of bedtime. You aren't telling me a thing. I'm probably the only woman in the world who has housemaid's knee all over. I wake up in the morning feeling worse than I did when I went to sleep. I know. I love Ellen dearly, but I do think she and Jack should let us have an occasional night's sleep in our own bed. She could sleep on the day bed and let Harry try the floor for a change. I wish I knew how to broach the subject. Of course we could come right out and tell them that we'd like our beds back. Well, maybe we could hint at it. I wouldn't want to do anything that seemed inhospitable or that might hurt Ellen's feelings. You know, she's terribly sensitive. Yeah, I've noticed that. Well, come on, let's try. Let's be careful of Ellen's feelings. Hello, Ellen. Hello. And here I have a little love bird. What little surprise you sought up for us now. Well, it isn't exactly a surprise, Ellen. Oh. Oh, I was hoping that you might have thought of a new place to take us. I'm really getting awfully tired of this apartment. Well, great. I mean, you are? Are you thinking of leaving? That is, have you found an apartment? Oh, goodness, no. There's really no point in looking, is there, Dad? Huh? Oh, sorry, I was reading the paper. I said there was no point in looking for another apartment. Oh, gosh, no. Matter of fact, I kind of like it here. We're certainly glad to hear that, aren't we, Barbara? Yeah. Um, Ellen. Yeah? Well, Bill and I were just talking about the sleeping arrangements, and we were wondering if... Oh, set your mind at ease, dear. Those beds aren't the most comfortable in the world, but Jack and I feel that under the circumstances we shouldn't complain. Oh. Well, that isn't exactly what Barbara meant, Ellen. She and I have been sleeping on the floor. Oh, I know. I know. Doctors say it's so good for the spine. I wish I could do it. Oh, well, wouldn't you like to try? Oh, goodness, no. Well, I'd probably get so stiff I couldn't get up in the morning. Anyway, if I slept on the floor, Jack would have to sleep on the floor, and he'd never consent to that, would you, Jack? Huh? Oh, sorry, I was reading the paper. I said you'd never consent to sleeping on the floor, would you? Certainly not. Nobody but an idiot would sleep on the floor. Bill and I have been doing it for a week. Sure, and look at you. You both look as though you've been run through a wringer. No, thanks. I'll take my sleep in bed. Look, there seems to be some misunderstanding here. I can see right now that you're both very sensitive, and I wouldn't want to say anything that might injure your delicate sensibility. Barbara and I are trying to hint that maybe it would be a little fairer if she and I get a chance to sleep in our own bed. Every other night? Why, Barbara didn't see that. Huh? Sorry, I was reading the paper. Barbara wants to make you sleep on the floor. No. Oh, really, Barbara? If I had done this with my own ears, I'd never believed it. How can you be so inhospitable to me? Now, please, Ellen, we didn't mean to be inhospitable. Well, if you have to have a bed, I wanted to make Phil's no good friend and give up the day bed. Oh, by the way, where is Harry? He went out to get a set for it. Oh, please, Ellen, I was trying to explain. You see, Phil has to go to work every day, and I have to get up and get his breakfast, and, well, we need a little sleep. I'll sleep out here with you and Phil while I dig around early in the morning. You know the daggers like to get up before noon, do you, Dag? Huh? Sorry, I was reading the paper. I said you'd like to get up before noon, do you? Heck, no. Why should I? Are you working? Yeah, you see, Barbara? What? Well, it's absolutely impossible for us to move out of the bedroom. Well, you've all the brass pounds, double it all. Phil, decide. If you two were fighting the day bed would be plenty big enough for you. Jack and I didn't need twin beds when we were... Oh, Phil, Phil, Phil, Phil, whatever you were thinking of doing, don't we cut it for the lawsuit? I wouldn't hurt him much. Come on back in the kitchen. I want to talk to you. Hi, Harry. Where's our host and hostess? In the kitchen. They've been there for hours. Oh, what's up? You two don't look very happy. We've been in thousands. Barbara and Bill want us to sleep in the floor and let them sleep in the twin bed. Oh, is that what they're talking about out in the kitchen? I don't know. They're so sneaky, they won't talk loud enough for me to hear, even with my ear against Keyhole. I think they're cooking up a deal to throw us all out. Oh, Bill wouldn't do anything like that. Oh, wouldn't he? If Barbara hadn't hauled them into the kitchen when she did, I'm afraid he'd try to throw us all out bodily. Of course, he couldn't have done it. He couldn't have. Don't kid yourself, Jackson. I've seen my little playmate get mad before. If he's in that kind of a mood, we're all going to find ourselves out in the street. Barbara, we have no place else to go. Well, you might call them in here and tell them that you've thought it over and decided to give them back their bed. Oh, never. Guess those beds right for the blonde guy. And I don't intend to sacrifice my principles just because some bully wants a bed bed. Well, uh, I have an idea that might work. Well, I'll try anything, except for Mr. Jack and me to keep our beds. Well, you know, when I arrived here, it seemed to me that Bill and Barbara had been fighting. They had. Barbara was already divorced, Bill. Oh, and now they're on good terms again, huh? Yeah. All right, now if we could split them up again, they'd probably be so busy fighting with each other, they'd forget all about us. Oh, Harry. You darling boy. Oh, that's a wonderful idea. Oh, Jack. Why don't you ever think of things like that? Huh? Oh, I'm sorry I was reading the paper. We're going to split up Bob and Bill, and we won't have to give up our beds. Hey, that's a good idea. What do you want me to do? Well, if we can make Bill act jealous about some perfectly innocent things, Barbara will never forgive us. Yeah? We'll do it this way. Now tomorrow, after Bill is going to work, I'll take Barbara out for a ride in Bill's car. Yeah. And you call him at his office. Hello, Dempsey Construction Company. We can't get any materials. Bill? What's wrong now? Find a lump in your mashed potatoes? What do you want, Ellen? I'm busy. You see a chance to cut our throat so you will. I'm not interested in any gossip, Ellen. Oh, yeah. What was that? I warned Barbara about that wolf. Well, I don't know yet, but I'll think of something before I get home. I couldn't concentrate on anything after you call. Oh, by the way, Bill, I've been meaning to give you this money. Money? What? Well, call it rent. After all, we have taken your bedroom and... Well, here. Well, let's talk about it some other time, Jack. Right now, I have something a lot more important than money on my mind. Well, just give me a receipt for this. I've made it out. All you have to do is sign it. Oh, OK. But I really don't care at this time. There. Does that make you happy? More than you know, Bill. More than you know. Look, when Barbara and Harry return, Jack, I wish that you and Ellen will offer a few minutes. There's going to be an awful blow-up, and I don't want any innocent bystanders getting hurt. I don't blame you, Bill. Barbara's my very best friend, and any wife who would do such a thing. Oh, my God. Oh, Barbara. Don't you still come home? I'm going to tell him. You don't need to tell me. I'm here, and I know all about it. Bill, Bill, no, you don't, Bill. Listen, Harry asked me to go on a picnic with him today. I know that. I didn't want to go because you told me it was such a wolf, but Ellen and Jack insisted that it be perfectly all right, and then... What was that about Ellen and Jack? Well, they insisted it be perfectly all right after all, Harry's a friend of yours, and I... Oh, Ellen. Oh, I didn't know something. You insisted that Barbara go out with Harry and told me up and told me she was sneaking off with him. Bill, he didn't. Yes, I did. And now, Barbara, if you'll just step back out of the way, I'm going to throw them out of here so hard they'll bounce. Don't forget, Harry. He tried to kiss me. Don't worry about me. I'm on my way. But don't get funny with me, Bill. You can't throw me out of here. I can't, Harry. We'll see about that. If you do, I'll get a court order and come right back. A court order to come back in my home? Our home. I was afraid you might get a little excited if things didn't work out just right. So just to be on the safe side, I paid you my share of the rent and got a receipt. So what? So, the law governing housing won't let you throw me out. We're here for at least three months. I hadn't heard from you folks in over a year. Oh, but, Judge, won't you come in? Thanks. I don't mind if I do. Mr. Dempsey'll be out in a minute. I hadn't heard from you folks in over a year, so I figured you'd patch things up all right. But I just wanted to check up and make sure. Well, thank you, Judge. Everything's wonderful now, although it was pretty hectic a few months ago. Has Mr. Dempsey been able to find a house for me yet? Had a jailbreak the other night, and that cell block's drafty as the dick is. Oh, I can imagine. Ah, nice little place you've got here. Don't suppose you'd consider taking in a rumor, would you? I'm afraid not, Judge. As a matter of fact, there are two more living here now than there were when we went to court. Friends? Well, in a way. What's the matter? I put the twins down on our beds to change them. Yes? We're going to have to sleep on the floor again tonight. That's the no room for the boys. Our star Helen Walker will return for a curtain call after this timely message from Wendell Niles. There is plenty of opportunity for you high school graduates these days. And here is one of the best offers you'll have. I mean the Air Force Aviation Career Plan, through which you can choose the type of aviation training you want. Yes, I said choose. You can select one of more than 40 different pages of Air Force training, and if you qualify, you're guaranteed that training. You'll receive high pay, too, even at the beginning while you're learning. Also, if you're one of those fellows who want to get ahead, you'll find lots of chances for advancement. An Air Force career is the career of the future. So take a tip from me, high school graduates. Drop in at your local U.S. Air Force recruiting station first thing tomorrow morning. Look over the list of schools you can select. Then choose your career in the Air Force. Now once again, at the microphone, our star Helen Walker and our producer. A curtain call is certainly a must for our lovely and talented star Helen Walker. Helen, after the drama of Nightmare Alley, wasn't it a welcome change to do a show for laughs? It really was, C.P. Lots of fun and thanks. You know, Helen, we're all waiting for your performance with Jimmy Stewart in that much-ly heralded motion picture called Northside 777. Keeping you busy these days, aren't they? Well, no more than anyone else, C.P. What do you do in between times? Oh, I like to ride a swim or play tennis. Oh, I didn't know you were so interested in sports. I love them. Well, I take a horseback ride, look at the countryside, and start living again. Well, me, Helen, I play golf. Look at my scorecard and die. I've heard differently about that. Oh, who told you? But seriously, Helen, thanks again for one of the most delightful performances we've ever had on proudly we hail. I enjoyed it, C.P., and believe me, it was a privilege to appear for such a timely sponsor as Army Recruiting. These days, we only need a glance at a headline to make us all aware of the importance of Uncle Sam's army. But now before I get away, C.P., what's your play bill going to feature for next time? Our story next week on proudly we hail is called Santana. It's the exciting and dramatic story of a woman whose marriage brings her everything she dreamed of, home, security, position, everything except happiness. How she discovers that happiness makes for drama you won't want to miss. And we're delighted to announce that our star will be that splendid actress of motion pictures, Dane Wyman. That's for me, I'll be listening. Now, goodbye. Goodbye, Helen Walker. Goodbye. We will welcome you next week, ladies and gentlemen, when your theatre of stars presents Dane Wyman, the dramatic story of a woman in love, titled Santana. Until next week, this is C.P. McGregor saying thanks for listening and carry on from Hollywood. Helen Walker appears to the courtesy of the Hollywood Coordination Committee which arranges for the appearance of all stars on this program. Ladies and gentlemen, Dane Wyman and Dane Hampton with the orchestra under the direction of Eddie Stravani. Partly we hail his transcribes in Hollywood for releases this time. Wendell Niles speaking.