 Lee Roy, where's Uncle Mort? He's hiding. Well, I'm looking for him. Yeah, that's why he's hiding. Somebody looking for Mr. Gilles' Leave? He's in the basement. Oh, for corn's sake. Tonight, in the second of a new fall and winter series of Wednesday evening broadcasts, the Kraft Foods Company presents Willard Waterman as the great Gilder Sleeve. The Great Gilder Sleeve is brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of Parquet Margarine and all those other wonderful Kraft quality foods. Listen to this really marvelous news about Parquet Margarine. In every state where the law permits the sale of yellow margarine, you can now buy yellow Parquet Margarine wrapped in a wonderful new flavor saver foil and at the lowest price in his Parquet history. Yes, the margarine that always tastes so good because it's always fresh now comes fresher, stays fresher longer than ever. Each golden quarter pound in the new Parquet package is individually wrapped in a flavor saver aluminum foil to seal flavor and freshness in, keep staleness and odors out. And since the repeal of the federal tax on colored margarines, your grocer can now sell yellow Parquet at the lowest price in history. If you live where yellow margarine is sold, get yellow Parquet in its new flavor saver foil. Elsewhere, get Parquet in the handy color quick bag or regular package. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by Kraft. It's Sunday in the Great Gilded Sleeves Town of Summerfield and Sunday afternoon, it's customary for families to get in the car and go calling on relatives. Of course, there's always somebody who tries to get out of going, especially to visit in-laws. Guess who's trying to get out of going? No, Marjorie. Well, I know how you feel about the Thompson's, Anki, but now that Bronco and I are expecting the baby, Mother Thompson thinks the family should get together more often. Well, Marjorie, I'm tired. I passed the collection play to church this morning. Those Nicholson dimes are heavy. I can't go visiting either. Look, I've already got my tie off. Leroy, untie the knot. Don't pull it off over your head. Tie it again. Oh. Well, tie it again right now, Leroy. We're all going to the Thompson's. Anki, Mother Thompson especially wants you to come to meet her sister. Her sister? You mean there's another one like Mrs. Thompson? Quiet, Leroy. Anki, she's Broncos and Victoria. And Victoria? She is married. Well, if she's Mrs. Thompson's sister, that doesn't surprise me. Oh, Anki. By George, if Mrs. Thompson thinks she can use me to entertain her sister, she has another thing coming. All right. We don't go then, huh, Anki? Marjorie, tell her Leroy and I can't make it. Oh, boy, what a keen uncle. Now, just a minute, Uncle Mort. I'm not covering up for you this time. If you are not going, you can just call her yourself. Well, I'll get a good, strong cigar and call her from Peavey's. Uncle Mort, you haven't been to the Thompson since they moved to Summerfield. Well, I haven't been to the glue factory since it moved to Summerfield either. Have a good time, my dear. It's fine Sunday afternoon. Give me a big black cigar. A big black one? I don't seem to have one of those. How about a big dark brown one that gives off black smoke? Sounds great, Peavey. And give me a cup of coffee, too. A black or a dark brown? Care to have your coffee on a flying saucer, Mr. Gilderfield? Flying saucer? I've been reading Little Abner. Oh, yes. Seems flying saucers are coming to Dogpatch. Yes, I read him at the breakfast table, Peavey. Oh. Well, I never read the funnest at the breakfast table. House rule, Peavey? No, but when Mrs. Peavey comes to the table in Curler's, nothing seems very funny. Oh, attractive woman. Here's your coffee, Mr. Gilderfield. Thank you, Peavey. Who's that? Looks like Judge Hooker and his new car. Well, the old goat's been talking about getting a new car. From now on, it looks like the car is going to do the talking for him by the car. Yeah, sharp truth. How can the judge afford a car like that? He must have given up his K-like water. I got a new car. Yeah, it's always... What do you think of it? It looks like a wonderful car, Judge, but who picked the color? I did. And I think I made a wonderful choice. Don't you, Peavey? Well, it matches your tie. It matches Gilder's face, too. What's this, Judge? You can't hide it, Gilder. You're a positively sharp truce with envy. And 30 horsepower, Gilder. My, my. Isn't that dangerous? Well, the only danger is when I stop the car. Oh? When I open the door, all the pretty girls try to jump in. Oh, my gosh. But since I don't have a pretty girl, how do you like to take a spin, Gilder? Oh, I'd like to, Judge. I'm not doing anything this afternoon. Splendid. I'd like to show you how it works. It has no clutch pedal and no gears to shift. Of course, that costs extra. If it doesn't have any gears, why does it cost extra? Well, it has gears, Peavey. You just don't have to shift them. Oh, oh. Are you ready, Gilder? Well, I have to make a phone call to the Thompson's first. Oh, are you hobnobbing with your in-laws these days? That's the one thing I'm trying to avoid, Judge. Mrs. Thompson spins their sisters in town and she's trying to hook me into entertaining at her. Well, that shouldn't be difficulty for you, Gilder. You're a big hit with elderly ladies. All right, Judge. If you'd care to take her a gift from the pharmacy, I have some nice heating pads. I'm not getting involved with the old crow. Well, let's go, Gilder. I'll be with you since I make the phone call, Judge. I just can't wait to get out on the open road and put my foot down on the accelerator. Yeah. I may as well go for a ride with the Judge. Mrs. Thompson won't mind if I don't show up. Oh, Mrs. Thompson, this is Mr. Gilder's leave. About this afternoon, I'm just dying to come over, but I can't make it. A little matter has come up. Legal. Sorry. Just a moment. I'll call her to the phone. Call who? Mrs. Thompson. You want to speak to her? Hey, wait a minute. I'm not so sure I do. Who are you? I'm Mrs. Thompson's sister. You? And Victoria? Well, who know me call me Vicki. What a voice. He said if I didn't come over, I'd be a chump. Oh, I said I'm dying to come. Well, I'll tell Mrs. Thompson. Goodbye. Wait. You sound quite a little younger than Mrs. Thompson. You are, aren't you? To dash home and rush over and entertain Mrs. Thompson's sister. But you'll be. I thought you weren't going over there. Judge. I'm not a man to ignore family obligations. My, my. Pee-pee, a moment ago, he didn't want to go and entertain the little old lady. Now he just can't wait to get over there. He'll there's a hard man to understand. Right now I wouldn't say that. It's indeed, my boy. But you said... Well, I got to thinking it over. And after all, Mrs. Thompson is Marjorie's mother-in-law. We all are something. Yeah? And enough to invite us over, the least we can do is accept and be gracious about it. But Margin Bronco have gone already. Well, we'll meet them over there. Now, get your hair combed and put on a clean shirt. We want to look nice for Aunt Victoria. How old is she, Yank? Well... Do you think she came across the planes with a covered wagon? I doubt it. How do you know? Well, I... There's something funny going on here. What made you change your mind about going on? Nothing. I simply... Leroy. Go change your shirt. We're in a hurry. I'll be downstairs. Okay. When I'm calling you... When I decided to go to the Thompson's after all, Bertie. How do I look? Mr. Gill-Sleeve, you don't look like a man calling on your in-laws. You look like a man trying to get in-laws. Mr. Gill-Sleeve, I'm sure I'm glad you changed your mind about going. Well, good. What made you change your mind about going? Well, Bertie, I've been thinking this thing over. Yes, sir? It's a pretty good idea for in-laws to visit each other. Yes, sir. In fact, I am tensing a great deal more of the Thompson family in the future. Yes, sir. So, I went to the phone and called the Thompson and told Vicki I'd be over. Vicki? Broncos and Victoria. Yes, sir. So what's she laughing at? Sleeve returns in just a moment. It's fresh. Fresh. Really fresh. Fresh. Always fresh. Fresh. That's why it tastes so good. It's parquet margarine made by craft. Every woman knows that freshness in a margarine is like style in a hat. It's an intangible value that can't be weighed or measured, but it makes the difference between something that's merely good and something that's truly wonderful. Parquet margarine is fresh. Really fresh. Always fresh. Parquet is blended fresh from top-grade American farm products. It's rushed fresh by truck to your store, sold fresh by your grocer. Every pound of car parquet is flavor-dated. Dealer stocks are regularly inspected by craftmen. That's why craft can positively guarantee to you that wherever or whenever you buy parquet margarine, it will be fresh. Really fresh. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine made by craft. Where colored margarine is sold, get yellow parquet in its new aluminum foil wrap. Elsewhere, get parquet in the handy color-quick bag or regular package. Let's get back to the great gilder sleeve. Our KG Water Commissioner didn't plan to drive over to visit the Thompson's this afternoon until he called to express regrets and heard the voice of Mrs. Thompson's sister and Victoria. People who know me call me Vicky. Watch it! I'll get running into the curb! Oops! Sorry, Vicky. I mean Leroy. Now, let's see. The house should be along here somewhere. There it is, out number one first street. Number one first street. I guess Bronco's absent-minded father picked the address. It's the number he can remember. Curtin's moving. Well, I guess they're anxious to see us. I wish I could drive up on a snappy car like the judges. Mr. Gilder sleeve? No, it must be the gardener. It looks like his car. Yeah, let me see. Oh, Edward, that's Mr. Gilder sleeve. It is? Must be Gilder sleeve in the gardener's car. Let's prepare for a very dull afternoon, but since Victoria's here, I had to invite him. Answer the door, Edward. Yes, Martha. I wonder why he came to the front door. Well, good afternoon, Mr. Thompson. Well, hello. Martha isn't the gardener. It's Mr. Gilder sleeve. Good afternoon, Mr. Gilder sleeve. Hello, Mr. Thompson. And little Leroy. Little, I've been growing. Happy occasion. I've always said that families should get together more often. Victoria. Victoria? Yeah. I've been missing. Well, let's everybody sit down and talk. Uh, Bronco went for some ice cream. Oh, boy, did he know I was going to be planty, Leroy. I think I'll go outside and wait for him. Stay in the yard, my boy. Okay. By the way, Mrs. Thompson, I can't help noticing that your sister Vicki, uh, I mean Victoria, isn't here. She's awfully attractive, Unkie. I imagine. Where is she? Oh, she'll be back in time for dinner. Good. Has a date, has she? Well, if she has, she didn't tell us about it. Of course, it's hard to keep track of Victoria. Oh. Fascinating woman, Victoria. Edward. Well, like Martha. You sneaked out of that one. Uh, if you'd excuse me now, I'd go and see you about dinner. Marjorie, would you like to help? Of course, Mother Thompson. See you later, Unkie. Yes, ta-ta. Well, Mr. Thompson, the ladies have left us. Uh, yes, we'll have to amuse ourselves. Yes. Uh, let's talk, Gildersleeve. Good idea. Nice Sunday, isn't it? Sunday? Oh, yes. Uh, Saturday was nice, too. Yeah, nice. But then, uh, so was Friday, Gildersleeve. You know, Mr. Thompson, have you any idea where Victoria went? Uh, not that this isn't an interesting conversation. She is very interesting. You are? Victoria. Gildersleeve, I can't understand why you're not more interested in Victoria. Me? I am. You are? Well, only because she's Bronco's aunt. And your wife's sister. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, brother, he's on to me. Gildersleeve, there is a woman. Oh, well, tell me more. I mean, I guess you know her quite well. Oh, yes. I met her at our wedding. Strange thing, Gildersleeve, when I was courting my wife, Victoria was around the house someplace. But Martha didn't let me see her until after we were married. She must be quite a woman. Where did you say she was, Mr. Thompson? Huh? After all, Mrs. Thompson invited me over to meet her. I'm here to entertain her. Where is she? Well, Victoria didn't think it was very exciting around here, so she took a walk in the park. Restless girl. Oh, I think I'll take a walk in the park. I'm a little restless myself. By the way, Mr. Thompson, what's Victoria's last name? Chase. Chase? Hmm. Which way she went? Quite a few women out here. I don't even know what Vicki looks like. All I know is she's quite a woman. Say, there's an attractive woman walking up ahead. Oh, but that's Vicki. Victoria? Say, big your pardon. Oops, sorry. Looks more like a Victorian tin type. Be more careful. Any pretty girl could be Victoria. Say, I talk to her on the phone. I can tell by that voice. Oh, here comes a pretty girl. Pardon me, Miss. Oh, just a minute, you. You, officer. Didn't see you standing behind that tree. I know you didn't. I had my eye on you. Yeah? What do you mean talking to every lady that passes? No, officer. You've got me all wrong. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I'm looking for a friend. You can't look on my beat, Johnny. Johnny, now see here. I'm city water chemistry. Yeah? Well, I'm Harry Truman. And if I catch you talking any more ladies, I'll call out the Marines. I've looked all over the park, and I can't find him. Wonder if she did have a date. We're on the other side of the statue and sit down. Not going back to the Thompson's little time for dinner. Retractive woman feeding him peanuts. Blah, and two. That's all the peanuts you can have now. Come back later. Look at the little monkey tip his hat. Goodbye, you little cutie. Lucky monkey. Say, that voice. It's Vicki. Boy, will she be glad to see me. Wonder if she'll recognize my voice, too. Hello. Oh, hello. Hey, mind if I sit over here? No, not at all. Well, I was sitting over there. But I hate to sit in front of a general ground on a running horse, even if it is a statue. Yes, he does look dangerous. Yep. She doesn't recognize my voice. I'll give her a little clue. Uh, happened to know anybody in the water department? No, but it's strange you should ask me that. It is? Because that's why I'm out here in the park. Oh? Don't tell anybody, but I'm avoiding the water commission. Oh. I suppose it's all right to talk to you like this here in the park. You look harmless. You see, I'm visiting my sister and she wanted me to meet him because he's sort of in the family, you know. But her description of him frightened me a little. You did? She can't stand him, you know. Of course, I don't know anybody here and I'm lonely. You are? Yes, but I'm not that lonely. I don't have to scrape the bottom of the barrel. Well, I better be going. Goodbye, Miss Chase. Oh, you know my name? Wait a minute. Who are you? I'm the bottom of the barrel. Hello, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve, the water commissioner? Well, I may as well admit it. You'd find it out sometime. Well, hello, Mr. Gilder-Sleeve. You came to find me in the park. You darling. Sister could ever think you were unattractive. Well, I've never been able to figure that out either. Come on over here and sit down. Why, this is the best thing that's happened to me since I've been here. Well, whoops. It's that little close. Anybody mind? Well, I'm sure General Grant won't. No, it's after 5 o'clock and he's a union man. Mr. Gilder-Sleeve, I just can't understand that sister of mine. You can't? You know, of course, I've always considered her a little dull and conventional. And I suspect she considers me a little flirt. I don't know why. Let me look at you. You're handsome. What? Long picture of you. Oh, let Vicki flick the lint off your lapel. There. And to think I doubted you. I never had any doubts about you. You didn't? What did you think Broncos and Victoria would be like? Well, I knew you'd be blonde. Beautiful. The most attractive. Gilder. Oh, Judge Hooker. Well, I see you got out of your obligation this afternoon. Yes, Judge. I thought you'd be entertaining Broncos' terrible old aunt. Judge! I didn't say anything about her being terrible. You did, too. You said she was an old crow. Oh, my goodness. Judge, you've ruined everything. Ruined what? Gilder. Aren't you going to introduce me to your attractive friend? You don't want to meet me, Judge. I'm not your friend. You don't want to meet me, Judge. I'm the old crow. Oh, pardon me. I was only quoting Gilder. Sure, sure. Miss Chase? This is Judge Hooker. How do you do? Well, I'd better be going. Good idea, Judge. Oh, Judge, is that beautiful car yours? Yes. It's brand new. Chartreuse, my favorite color. It does something for a blonde. What's going on here? Well, I see no reason why a superior court judge shouldn't indulge in a little color. Oh, are you a superior court judge? Very superior. Hey, why don't we all go for a drive? No, Judge. Oh, I'd love to. I've never been out with a real judge. What a flirt. You're coming, aren't you, Gilder? No, thanks. Vicki, we should be getting back to dinner. Oh, well, if I don't make it my sister will understand. Yeah, I guess she will. Oh, what an adorable car. Look, no shift. There she goes. Into my life and right out, without shifting. I don't care. Ma'am! Oh. I'll get you. Where's that Victorian? Well, Leroy. Was that hunch? Yes. Yes, it was. Oh, I'll sit down beside you and cheer you up. Now, Leroy, I don't need cheering up. Yeah, I understand. Gosh, the only reason you came over was to be with her and she drives off with your best friend. Leroy, the judge is just showing her how the car operates. Ha! She was feeding a monkey. Then she ran off with an old goat. I'll feed the penis to the monkey. That'll be a good way to forget her. Leroy, there's nothing to forget. She doesn't mean a thing to me. Not a thing. Oh, boy, young. Boy, is it loaded with perfumes. Let me see. I wonder if she'll be back for dinner. What a monkey she's making out of him. Here, Uncle, you eat the penis. Leroy! Lee will be right back. Don't forget, the margarine that tastes so good because it's always fresh is parquet margarine, made by Kraft. In states where the law permits, you can get yellow parquet margarine in its new aluminum foil flavor saver wrap at the lowest price in history. Elsewhere, get parquet in the handy color-quick bag or regular package. In any package, parquet is the margarine that tastes so good because it's always fresh. That's P-A-R-K-A-Y. Parquet margarine, made by Kraft. Just for a little walk, my boy. Down to the drugstore, maybe. You know why I should be upset about Picky? I only went over there because I had nothing else to do. And the judge. The way he melted when she smiled. Silly old goat. Anybody could see she only went with him because he had that new car. Well, she's not fooling me. I have my eyes wide open. Those silky little bonds are going to wind me around the finger. I wasn't born yesterday. No, sir. Oh, Mr. Gildiff, please. Who said that? Hello. Vicky. I'll bet you were on your way over to my house to return my handkerchief. Well... You aren't angry because Vicky ran away this afternoon. Who are you? You're a darling. I knew she'd come back. Great Gildiff's Leave, you have a way with women. Great Gildiff's Leave is played by Willard Waterman. The show is written by Paul West, John Elliott and Andy White with music by Robert Armbruster. Included in the cast are Walter Tetley, Mary Lee Robb, Lillian Randolph, Earl Ross and Richard LeGrand. This is John Heaston saying good night for the Kraft Foods Company, makers of the famous line of Kraft quality food products. Be sure to listen in next Wednesday and every Wednesday for the further adventures of the Great Gildiff's Leave. Here's a quick, pleasant way to make leftovers more delicious. Just add a little Kraft prepared mustard and you'll add a lot of tang. Hidden flavors in boiled ham, sausage, most any meat, pop right out. Every bite tastes better. Now you can get two kinds of Kraft mustard. Salad mustard delicately spiced for those who prefer a milder flavor and Kraft mustard with snappy horseradish added. Have both kinds in your pantry. Every meat dish, hot or cold, just add a little mustard and you'll add a lot of tang. Kraft prepared mustard.