 The Kraft Foods Company presents the Great Gildersleeve. It's the Great Gildersleeve starring Harold Perry, brought to you by the Kraft Foods Company, makers of parquet margarine and a complete line of famous quality food products. Now let's join the Great Gildersleeve. Continued cold westerly winds, possible snow. Which winter was over? Russ, British, Rao in UNO meat. Rao, Rao, Rao. Why can't those fellas learn to get along? By George, if I was there. Bevin hollering at Vashinsky, Vashinsky hollering at Bevin. Call themselves diplomats. I wonder what good it does for two fellas to holler at each other in different languages. No thank you, Leroy. Then there's nothing for me to do. Gosh, it might as well not be Saturday. Isn't there somebody you can play with besides Piggy? No. What about Ralph? He's got the flu. What about Everett? His mother's making him work. Not a bad idea. What about Sylvester? He wanted to build a fort at his house. Then why not go over and help him? I wouldn't hardly get any use out of it myself. Leroy, that's no way to approach this thing. Sit down here for a minute. Where? Uh, anywhere. I want to talk to you. Now, did you read the morning paper? Sure. Good. Then no doubt you read about the difficulties the United Nations seemed to be having over in London. I sort of skimmed over the front page. Yes. To the funnies, I suppose. Oh no, I read the sports, too. Sports and comics. We're living in an atomic age, my boy. The problems of the atomic age will not be solved by Dick Tracy. I'd like to know who will have a better chance. Seems to me you're old enough to be taking an active interest in the world, my boy. You ought to know what's going on. Going on where? In the world. There's trouble going on over in Greece. And the British think one way about it, and the Russians think another way. There's a devil to pay over the whole business. So what? So they'll never get along if they don't stop hollering. Like you and your little friends. How? Because you won't listen to reason. You want to settle everything your own way. Shouting it piggy just now. That's disgraceful. I've spoken to that before. You have? Repeatedly. You talk to your friends so rudely it's a wonder you have any. You ought to hear the way they talk to me. Well, that's no excuse. I think if you try to practice a little graciousness, you might find yourself more popular. I am popular. I was voted the 10th most popular kid in 7B. Well, we needn't go into that. But if you'll try to remember, my boy. You got a minute. Of course, Bernie. Try to remember, Leroy. Okay. Well, what is it, Bernie? I'm trying to lay out my schedule for tomorrow, Mr. Gillespie. You want Sunday dinner at noon or in the evening? Doesn't really matter, Bernie. Have it either time and I'll guarantee you to do it justice. Then I'll have it in the evening. All right. Say, Bernie, I was just thinking. It's been quite a while since we had one of your remarkable lemon pies. You know what I think of your remarkable lemon pies, Bernie? I ought to, Mr. Gillespie. Yeah. Mirror words can't express the way I feel about your lemon pie, Bernie. And do you think possibly... I'll make one for tomorrow night if you like. Is that soon enough? I shall possess my soul and patience, Bernie. Your pie will make a beautiful end to a beautiful day. Beautiful pie, beautiful pie. Lemon meringue or lemon chiffon. Well, I guess they're both the same. Yeah. Yeah. Doorbell. I heard it. I think maybe you go upstairs. Yes, you did go upstairs. Hello, Craig. I want Leroy to play with me. Well, he should... The house isn't falling down. Here he comes if you ask him. Do you remember what I told you? No, Fort Craig. Okay. Atta boy. Come on, I've got it started already. If we really work... Okay. Hey, I'm putting my sweater. I had it just a minute ago. Sweater on the sofa, Leroy, right where you threw it. Oh, yeah. Then when we get it finished, we can have all kinds of fun. I'll be the colonel and you can be the sergeant, okay? Is the sergeant higher than the colonel? The colonel gives the orders. Why don't I leave my gloves on? They're probably under the sofa. Well, can we build a fort? Can we have a snowball pie? Sure, Craig. Anything you want. We'll take turns defending it. I bags first. Okay, I bag second. I'll go on. Not soon. I decided I'd rather build a snow fort. And besides, this snow is no good for skiing. It's perfect for building a fort. Hiya, Mr. Gildersleeve. Hiya, Piggy. Hi, Craig. Hi. Come on, let's build a fort. Yeah, let's go. Say, Craig, you better go home. We won't need you. Well, I'll be... Why not? You're too little. Come on, Piggy. Let's get going. Leroy, come here to me. Craig, you and Piggy go outside and start building the snow fort. Both of you, understand? Okay. But isn't Leroy... I want to have a word with Leroy. You go outside and start the fort, Piggy, or else go home. Is that clear? With Craig. Okay. Gosh, what did I do? Come on, Craig. Leroy, you listen to me. A few minutes ago, you had no one to play with. Craig came over. You decided he was better than nobody. Okay, okay. I'll let him play. Let me finish. Your rudeness, your ingratitude, trying to shoot Craig away as soon as Piggy walks in the door. That's disgusting. By five minutes ago, you thought Piggy was terrible. What's the matter with you? I don't know. I know. The trouble with you is your selfish. You think only of your fun, the dickens with everybody else. If you try to think how to give Craig a pleasant morning, you might wind up having a nicer time yourself. Do you understand what I'm trying to say? I guess so. Then see if you can go out and have a pleasant time. Just three boys playing happily together. Now, will you try? Yeah, I'll try. Where's my hat? Behind the chair over there. Oh, yeah. Thanks, Long. Come on. I will, my boy. Tell me I don't know how to handle kids. Yes, sir. And if I was in London... Why should I be feeling hungry? Wonder if I eat more than I used to. Well, if I do, it's because I need it. Especially in the winter. Lee Roy, I've asked you not to slam that door. It's not Lee Roy. It's me. Marjorie, I'm surprised, my dear. I slammed it because I was running. Lee Roy and Piggy were throwing snowballs at me. Isn't Craig with them? Oh, yes, they're having some terrific battle or something. Hostility ceased so they could all take a shot at me. Just give those kids a couple more years and they'll know better. I'm not so sure about Lee Roy, whether he'll ever grow up, I mean. Don't worry, my dear. In the meantime, boys will be boys. That's their way of having fun. For goodness' sake, now what's the matter? Let me see it. Call Lee Roy in here. Will you please, Marjorie? Okay. Craig, if you'll take your hand off your eye so I can look... It hurts! Marjorie, get me a pan of hot water, will you please? It's cold water. It's probably contusion. You're right. Contusion. Cold water, bud. Lee Roy for the snowball. Is that true? It's my name. People in a rock... I'll settle your hash later, young man. Yay! Now, Craig, let's be brave, my boy, shall we? Let's have a look at the eye. Well, now that doesn't look so bad. Here, blow your little nose. I don't want it. Oh, for a corn. Here's the cold water. Good. Now, Craig, if you just let me soak a little cold water on your eye... I want to go home! Well, this'll help, but Craig... I want to go home! Maybe you're better at that. Take him across the street, my dear, will you? But Craig, watch him, my dear. Make sure he gets there. Okay, come on, Craig. Maybe a little. Never mind that. What's this about a rock and a snowball? I never... Craig couldn't have been doing all that yelling, just from a nice, soft, handful of snow. Who said that was soft? Look at him, but God... I sent you out there to play happily with Craig and Piggy. I should think you could manage to play for an hour or so without making somebody cry. It was an accident, and I swear it was an accident. Was the rock an accident? It wasn't any rock. Leroy, the weight of the evidence is against you. Craig is obviously suffering real pain. Oh! I regret, young man, that I'm going to have to punish you. In a way, you're not going to enjoy, but a rock and a snowball is a serious matter. It might have changed... Anki, how wonky? Did Craig get home all right? Yes, but now Mr. Bullard's tearing over here. He didn't even wait to put on a hat. Oh, well, show him in. You stay right here, Leroy. Yeah, right in here, Bullard. Tell the sleeve I want... Oh, there's the young scoundrel. Aren't you ashamed of yourself? I'm just talking it over with Leroy, Mr. Bullard. Oh, you were! Well, let me tell you, tell the sleeve this is no time for talk. What this boy needs is a punishment he'll remember. Now, just a minute. Don't interrupt. Putting a rock and a snowball is a criminal offence. And a boy who'll do a thing like that will soon be doing worse if you don't nip it in the bud. Now, are you going to give him a good found thrashing? No, I'm not. And why not, may I ask? Bullard is none of your business. I can raise my nephew without your advice. Well, when your nephew runs around like a young criminal endangering the lives of smaller children, somebody ought to do something. And if you're unable to handle it... I can handle him very well. But in the future, you keep that little crybaby of yours at home where he belongs. Don't call my son a crybaby. Your nephew is a big bully. Oh, he is not. He's a fine boy. Now get out of here, you. Get off the property. Don't worry. And keep your family off the property. All right. And you keep yours on fire. Marjorie, Lee Roy, from now on, there'll be no communication whatsoever with the Bullard family. Yes, Auntie. Then I'll meet it. Now, while the feud simmer's and gilder sleeve boils, here's something else that will interest you. Mr. Lang, I happened to be in the store the other day when my grocer got in a supply of parquet margarine. I never saw anything grabbed up so fast. By the time my friends got there, all the parquet had been sold. Well, we're sorry that supplies are so short, but you see, even though the Kraft Foods Company is making all the parquet margarine as possibly can with limited supplies, there still isn't enough to meet the big demand. Well, I certainly hope there'll be more parquet soon, because it's my family's favorite spread. It's the favorite spread of millions. And that's why Kraft is doing its best to distribute parquet so that everyone gets a fair share. Well, that's just what my dealer said. And did you buy any chance? Notice something different on that package of parquet you bought? Different. Oh, it said they're adding more vitamin A to parquet margarine. That's right. Every pound of parquet margarine now being made contains 15,000 units of important vitamin A, making this delicious spread and even more valuable food in your family's daily diet. So be sure to look for parquet margarine. And if you can't always find it, please be patient. The Kraft Foods Company and your dealer appreciate your cooperation during the period of temporary shortage. Now back to the great Gildersleeve. Sunday noon finds him with his niece and nephew just coming out of church. Find sermon, Dr. Needham. Find sermon. Bye, George. It's a glorious day out. Brisk but sunny. Good morning, Mrs. Carrington. My goodness, you're looking younger every day. I'm sure Roy used your handkerchief. Yes, indeed, a fine sermon. Hello, Rockmore. Lila. Mind if I walk home with y'all? The shoe is on the other foot, Lila. Do you mind if we walk home with you? Rockmore and I declare, I believe you sweet talk every woman you see. That's not so, Lila. Oh, why did you bear with old Mrs. Carrington telling her she was getting younger? Well, she couldn't get any older. I'll never again believe a single nice thing you say to me. You children walk on ahead, will you? Lila, Leroy no more snowballs. Leroy dropped that snowball. Where do you suppose Mrs. Bullard is? Out of town again? If she is, I don't blame her married to that guy. I do hope she isn't sick. Call to him, Rockmore, and you who? Lila, don't. He didn't hear me. You call. Don't speak to him, Lila. Why not for goodness sake? Because I'm mad at him. Well, that's the silliest thing I ever had. I'm certainly not going to let that stop me. You who, Mr. Bullard? It's him or me, Lila, if you talk to him. Oh, he sees us now. Excuse me, Rockmore. Now, I'll just run over and inquire about his wife. All right, go ahead. That's women for you. Come on, Marjorie. Come on, Leroy. Hey, wait. Don't tell me this is our dessert, Bertie. Well, this is only lunch, Mr. Guilfrey. You've got a whole big dinner coming tonight, with lemon pie, remember? I know, but proof. Yeah. Well, I'm sorry, Mr. Guilfrey, but that's the way you said you wanted it, lunch in the middle of the day and dinner at night. Very well, Bertie. We'll eat our proof. Oh, so I have to. Eat them, Leroy. They're delicious. Yeah. Yes, by the way, Bertie. Yes, sir. Why the overcoat? Is the house so cold you have to wait on table in your mittens? No, sir. I'll just go run across the street for a minute. Across what street? Where? Over to the bullet to borrow some lemons, some lily seeds. I got my pie crust already, and I found I didn't have no lemons. Bertie, under no circumstances, at any time whatsoever, are you to go to the bullets for anything? Whatsoever. Do you understand that? Yes, sir. But lily bee ain't the bullet. She's associated with them in a business way. Well, if you're going to make lemon pie, you've got to have lemons at least the way I make it. I don't see what a harm it is to do if I just sneak around to the back door. Bertie, I would rather crawl on my hands and knees from here to Nome, Alaska, for lemons, and accept one as a favor from Rumson Bullard. But on town and buy some lemons, myself, on foot, right now, I won't even finish my dessert. Ha! You will finish them, my boy. Ha! Oh, Mr. Geller, clear? If it isn't the great Geller sleep. Gentlemen, gentlemen. I'll be right with you. I'm just waiting on the judge here. Go right ahead, Pee-Vee. No hurry. I'm just here on a matter of life and death. That's all. Well, thank you. Now, Judge, what can I... Well, I'd like three bottles of K-Lac water, my friend. Three bottles of K-Lac water? And I'm returning these three empty. Don't forget the deposit. There we are. Three bottles of K-Lac water. The deposit, Pee-Vee. Don't forget about the deposit. The judge is worried about his deposit, Pee-Vee. Got a big investment there, 15 cents. Well, if it's agreeable to you and Judge, we can apply the deposit to you on the old bottles against the deposit I'd have to ask you for on the new one. Well, that arrangement would be perfectly satisfactory to me. Of course. I could pay you the money that's coming to you on these bottles. That's three bottles. That's five cents, Pee-Vee. That's 15 cents. But then I'd have to turn right around and ask you to pay a deposit on these bottles, which would also be 15 cents, you see? Fellows, I am waiting. I understand. I understand, Pee-Vee. I think the other arrangement would be simpler. I just didn't want you to think I was putting anything over on it. I quite understand. Just take it out of that, will you? Five dollars. There you are. Thank you very much. And call again. Now, Pee-Vee, have you got any... I'm trying. Yes? I'm trying to say one of these bottles you return doesn't appear to be a K-Lac bottle. But, Judge A, pulling a fast one? Certainly not. Judging by the smell, I'd say there's a turpentine bottle. Well, I may have had turpentine in it, but it was originally a root beer bottle, party size. Horace, aren't you ashamed? The deposit on it was five cents exactly the same as the K-Lac water. I know, but I don't handle root beer, Judge. Well, I thought as an old customer you might at least do me the simple service of returning the bottle for me, thereby saving me the trouble of going all the way to one market, which isn't open today anyway. It's open tomorrow. I'm sure if you were to go there tomorrow... This is my day for returning bottles. Fellows. I'm waiting here while you argue over a nickel. All right, keep the bottles, tell it, smash it. Do anything with it. Don't misunderstand, Judge. I'd rather take the loss. Oh, don't be an old sore-head, Horace. You're asking Pee-Vee to do something that's not his business. Pee-Vee's a drugist. You want to cash in on your precious bottle? When I want any advice from you, my friend, I shall call on you. Well, don't call before 9 o'clock. Pee-Vee, if I can get a word in here, edgewise... Yes, Mr. Gary Steeves, what can I do for you? Have you got any lemons? Lemon? No, Mr. Gary Steeves, I haven't. No lemons? Well, I've got to have lemons. What am I going to do? I'm sorry, Mr. Gary Steeves, but I don't carry produce of any kind. You don't have to tell me that, but it's Sunday. I thought as a good customer and an old friend if you had any lemons around. Lemons go to the greengrocer. Where have I been? Where do you think I've been? I've been all over town looking for those confounded lemons. Of course, I had to stop and talk to a few people on the way. The lucky thing, I didn't wait for you to bring them. The pies are already out of the oven and cooling on the shelf. You got some lemons? Yes, I bought them from Mrs. Vance. A fine thing. I went all the way downtown after those lemons. Mom, did you get the ink for me? The what? The ink. Ink? No, did you ask me to get ink? Oh, my goodness. Now, how can I finish my letter? Letter? Just a minute. Who are you writing to all of a sudden? I don't see what difference that makes. Mm-hmm. I thought so. It's that Marshall Bullard kid. I didn't say who it was. You don't have to. I can put two and two together. Marjorie, I absolutely forbid you to write to Marshall Bullard to have anything to do with it. You understand? Him or any member of his family? I don't see why. Leroy's been playing with his brother all afternoon. Craig? They're up in Leroy's room right now. The dinner. With movies. Craig brought over his projector. Admission's only five cents. We're gonna... Just one minute. What? Stay right up there a minute, Craig. Leroy, why don't I tell you about playing with Craig? Answer the door. Will you, Birdie? Yes, sir. Well, young man, what about it? Gosh, Uncle forgot. You forgot a likely story. Well, he started, didn't he? Is Craig here? Well, I know Don Welley's here. Tell him his father wants him to come home this minute. He has no business over here. Oh, let him stay, please. Please, Pa, let me stay. Will you please? We're gonna give a show. Yeah, a show. With movies, Mickey Mouse. Mickey Mouse. And everybody will pay a nickel. A nickel. It'll be swell. Swell. Super. Super. Will you help, please? Please, Pa, please. Nothing doing. Come along, Craig. Come, Leroy. Aw, we won't fight, will we, Craig? No. Honest, Mr. Bullard, I didn't put a rock in that snowball. Did I, Craig? Tell him. Tell him the truth. Well? You won't have a show, don't you, Craigie? Tell him. Let's get to the bottom of this. You mind if I come in for a minute and kill the sleeve? No, please do. Now, what are the facts about this snowball, young man? Was there or was there not a rock in it? There wasn't a thing in it, was there, Craig? No prompting, Leroy. Well, Craig? Why, you are a brave ghost so long, Daddy. Answer my question. Was there a rock in it? No, there was. There was no rock in this snowball? Then why did you tell me there was? Well, you shouldn't be too tough on a, Mr. Bullard. Little kids get that way. Yes. It just comes over them. Well, I remember when I was a little kid, I used to tell the worst lies. Leroy, you keep out of it. Now, hold on now. I think that's pretty nice of Leroy trying to protect Craig like that. I can do all the time to protect him, don't I, Craigie? Yep. Oh, brother. You know, Gilda Sleeve, I have the feeling some apologies are in order here. I guess I've been something of a fool. Now, since I've been the fool, I didn't even believe my own nephew. I don't know that I even believe him now. That sounds kind of cool. But if you're willing to let bygones be bygones, too. Absolutely. And I want to apologize for Craig, too. Oh, you don't need to apologize for Craig. He's a fine young boy, aren't you, Craig? Yes, sir. Put up your dukes, there, young fella. Yes, yes. He'll be a man one of these days. Fine lad, fine lad. Oh, Miss Guppy. Yes, Bertie? Excuse me, but it's on the table and it's getting cold. What? Oh, say, Bullard. I understand Mrs. Bullard's out of town. Why don't you and Craig stay and have dinner with us? Well, that's mighty nice of you, but... Plenty for everybody if you're willing to take potluck. We're having lemon pie for dessert. Well, I... Sure you will. Bertie, two more places for dinner. Oh, boy, then we can have a movie show after, hey, Craig? Oh, boy. Go wash your hands for dinner, not Leroy. You too, Craig. Leroy, show Craig up to the bathroom. Last one after rotten eggs! Yeah. Boys will be boys. Call your sister, Leroy. Yes, Bullard, these little squabbles, they're all ridiculous. Just as I was saying the other day, if neighbors like you and I can't get along together, what chance is there for Great Britain and Russia? Fight under Gildersleeve. You talk sense. Yeah. Well, Mr. Bevin, shall we go into dinner? After you, Mr. Vyshinsky. Now, wait a minute. Okay, I'm Vyshinsky. Let's go in-ski. The Great Gildersleeve will be back in just a few moments. And now here's a special message from Kraft to the millions of American families who are regular users of Parquet Margarine. Many of you women have written to tell us that it's often hard to get Parquet. And dealers from coast to coast say that supplies have been moving out of their stores so fast they've had to disappoint many customers. Now, we assure you that Kraft is producing as much Parquet Margarine as available supplies permit. Right now, every Kraft food dealer is getting a fair share of all the Parquet Margarine that's being made. He's trying to serve you as best he can. Both the Kraft Foods Company and your dealer appreciate your patience during this period of temporary shortage. Buy Parquet when you can. And as soon as conditions permit, Kraft will again be making enough Parquet Margarine for everyone. Just a reminder, ladies and gentlemen, if you have any old clothes you can possibly spare, give them to the Victory Clothing Drive. Take them to any police station, firehouse, or post office. They'll be sent to people in Europe and Asia who need them desperately. Good night, everybody. The Great Gilder Sleeve is played by Harold Perry. It is written by John Whedon and Sam Moore. The music is by Jack Meakin. This is John Lang speaking for the Kraft Foods Company and inviting you to listen in again next week for the further adventures of The Great Gilder Sleeve. And now here's a bright spot in the food picture. There's plenty of tangy, golden Kraft salad mustard in your favorite food store. So, pep up those sausage meats and those egg and cheese dishes you often serve these days with a taste-tingling tang of Kraft salad mustard. And to please sharper taste, you also want a jar of Kraft mustard with horseradish added. Both of these delicious mustards are made to Kraft's own special recipe. They're just what you need for pepping up meals. So, be sure to buy both kinds. Kraft salad mustard and Kraft horseradish mustard. This is NBC, the national broadcasting company.