 So do you know what the problem with the dating marketplace these days? I think one of the significant problems in the dating mating and relating realm, if you will, these days is an actual devaluing of women. I'm gonna repeat that. I believe a significant percentage of men devalue women. And while this is just one of the many problems with the mating process today, I think because of pornography, I believe because of social media and quite frankly, I also believe a lack of boundaries by women have caused men to actually devalue women. And this doesn't bode well. I know a lot of you will feel upset hearing this, but this is the observation I see today as a dating and relationship coach for women. In fact as a coach I continually come across women who want to sign up for coaching with me. And when I hear the stories of the way men operate, there's an actual lack of care from so many men. And it's rather distressing. It's rather disturbing. You know, and when I mean by a lack of care, is there these men are more preoccupied with getting their own needs met? And let me just be clear, women can be equally as selfish as men. But most of it because they, because of the ease of sex these days, it's so easy for the most part. It's relatively easy for men to get sex these days that it's actually devalued women. And as I said earlier, pornography hasn't helped and social media hasn't helped. Instagram accounts where women are practically flaunting themselves. There's this plethora of available sexual titillation that's caused men to devalue women. Now look, I've always said to you, I'm your big brother. If I could be there on a first date, I'd have the shotgun pointed at the guy's head saying, what's your intentions with my little sister? You know, because there's a level of respect when you know that there's a consequence of devaluing somebody that you might already know. And what I mean by know is, you know, when you think back 50, 60, 70 years ago, you know, I was watching the movie Pleasantville the other day and I was just thinking, well, listen, men have been horny bastards since the dawn of time. You know, men haven't changed. What I think has changed is certainly in the last 50 or 60 years and it's it's partially, I said earlier, women's boundaries have dropped. Now look, I'm all in favor of sexual freedom. And I'm here to say if a woman wants to have sex with a man on the first, second, or third date, you know, that's their choice. We, you get the choice, okay? But there's a consequence to easy sex. And I think that consequence is devaluing women. So you might be wondering, well, what does this have to do with the topic about how do a man know she's a one? Well, I think it's first really important to understand the mating process because it doesn't, what was in the past doesn't apply today. It barely applies today. And what I mean by the past is there was a level of valuing women, you know, like even when I got married 30 years ago, and I think I met my now ex-wife 32 years ago, you know, there was a level of respect then that existed that I'm going to tell you today doesn't exist in the same level. In fact, I had a friend of mine do a survey in his men's group. He has over a million followers on his YouTube channel and he did a survey. At what point would you lose interest in a woman if you didn't have sex with her? Would it be the first or second date? Would it be the third or fourth date? Would it be the fifth or sixth date? No, I think he said it would be the first or second, second or third, fourth or fifth or sixth or seventh or eighth and beyond. And do you know the vast majority of men click the button that if they didn't have sex by the fourth or fifth date, they'd be gone? I mean, that really saddens me that men, especially when I listen to some of the rhetoric from the women who are wanting to work with me, tell me how these men say you can trust me. I'm trustworthy. I care about your feelings and yet they'll dump you in a hot potato if they haven't had sex by the fourth, fifth or sixth date. Listen, like I said before, I'm not here to judge the timing of when I have sex, but it's really a lack of valuing and it's always been the following. Women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment. And think about that. In the past, if a man wanted to get laid, he'd have to make the ultimate commitment. He'd have to marry you. Now, little or no commitment is needed to have sex these days because at a swipe away, there's a plethora of women that will have sex with men they barely know. Think about that. You barely know. Today, we're meeting total strangers. And the problem is many of you have adopted the fantasy that if we have amazing chemistry with each other, it'll just magically work out. And all I have to do is sit in my feminine energy to let that guy claim me. Listen, if you're not familiar with my relationship iceberg, I'm going to introduce it to you today if it's the first time. I want you to see the word attraction and you see the tip of the iceberg. It says chemistry, but true compatibility or relationship requires shared values, blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity. And we are in a dysfunctional world of human beings. We have such dysfunctionality for so many human beings. And it is absolutely naive not to approach the process from the perspective of men are the leaders of the relationship because ladies, I'm telling you, you're giving the job to the wrong person. You are in charge of your relationship, destiny, not a guy. This is why lately I've been recommending this book. I highly I've been reading this highly recommend the book why men love bitches, why men love bitches. Bits stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes. And what that means is a man a man who's a user or a time waster spender, he's going to lose interest in an empowered woman. He's going to lose interest really fast and empowered woman. But the benefit of him losing interest really fast in you is you will be choosing a man who might be a user or a spender. And if you're not familiar with this chart, highly recommend by the way, this is not a fact. It's an opinion. It's the three types of people dating today. There are either users, spenders or growers and builders and users of the love bombers. They're the players. They're the gold diggers. They're the entitled people. They're just in it for themselves. They're just using you because they're takers. And then the spenders are the people who want companionship. They want connection. They want sex. But they have no intentionality, no direction, no really comprehension. They oftentimes their life is in chaos. They're going through a contentious divorce. Maybe they have a contentious X. Maybe they've got issues with their children. Maybe they pamper their children. How many of you women have been with men who literally pamper their daughters and their daughters have been the gatekeepers of the relationship for you? I hear this continually over and over again. And then maybe they have work issues. Those are the spenders. And what I mean is if a man's life, if the foundation of underneath them doesn't feel solid, it's going to be very difficult for him to actually lean in to see that you are the one, to see that you're worthy. And then lastly is the growers and the builders over here, the growers and the builders. These are the people that got their act together. They genuinely want commitment. They want long-term relationship. They look at everything from a we perspective, and most people who are users or spenders, they're dysfunctional. Their relationship skills are mediocre at best. Their emotional maturity is mediocre at best. This is why women come to me for private coaching because my job is to teach you which questions to ask a man to deter based on your personality, determine if he's the right fit for you. By the way, there's a link below to schedule a discovery call with me. It's in the description and it'll be the first comment listed as well. If you want to schedule a call with me so you can learn the skills so you don't waste your time with those users and spenders and you can find those actual men who are growers and builders.