 So upon returning to my house today to start moving more, I slipped and fell on the stairs because my prosthetic leg didn't fully get up on the stairs, so I crashed down, twisted my leg in the process, bashed my jaw on the railing, bruised my cheek. We are off to a good start, folks. Let's set up the opening moving shot. Step one, leg off, because I'm not gonna fit in this moving box with it on. How am I supposed to step in the moving box without a leg? We improvised, that's how. That'll work. Hello there, my beautiful, lovely night friends. Welcome back to my channel. For the fourth time in the last year and a half, I am going to have to move, and I wanna talk about why. I also wanna give you guys a little home tour and bring you along for some of it because this is not something that I had planned long in advance. It is also something that is very difficult given my physical situation. My physical situation. I love implying it like it's not just vastly obvious. What am I doing? What am I doing with my life? All right, let's talk about it. But first, a quick word from our lovely sponsor. Hi, sorry, didn't mean to interrupt, but I need to for just a moment because I wanted to give a big thank you to our sponsor today, Thread Up. The season of pumpkin spice lattes and cozy sweaters is upon us, and I'm very excited to share with you some new wardrobe pieces from Thread Up, which is an online consignment and thrift store. So before Thread Up reached out to me, I had never personally used them before, but I knew friends who had recommended it to me, so I tried them out. I absolutely love them. I got these five different outfits for the colder weather, except for one really pretty dress that I just had to buy. So these are three of the sweaters that I got through Thread Up. I absolutely love the style and quality of each of these. This delightful pink sparkly one is from White House Black Market. I got it for $15.60, which is crazy affordable compared to what you're gonna see in stores. I also got this Club Monaco sweater. Same color, I actually didn't mean to do that. Apparently I love this color. This was just $32.50. This minty green Ralph Lauren sweater, I got for just $19.50. And oh my gosh, I absolutely adore this dress. It makes me feel so classy and pretty, I actually wore it recently on a date that I went to at a museum. I just felt like, you know, I felt like a classy museum lady. That's what classy museum ladies wear. Don't question me on that. And okay, this pattern is not one that I would normally wear, but I saw it online. The dress was literally under $10. So I thought, what the heck, let me give it a shot. Absolutely loved it. I wore it out on a night with friends recently and felt so fancy and different because I don't usually do bold colors or patterns, but this was super fun to wear. For me, it was kind of fun to experiment with different styles, things I might not normally purchase, but wanted to give a shot. And this is a website I will definitely be using in the future for clothing shopping because A, I found amazing things there, but B, it's a much more sustainable way to shop than buying new, fast fashion or anything like that. They have all different kinds of clothing styles. You name it, they probably happen. So check it out. If you use the code JOE at checkout, you will get 40, 40% off your first order. A huge thank you to Thread Up. You can check out these picks and similar ones. Make sure that you are using code JOE for 40% off your first order and let's get back into it. Are you ready to make another trip up? Don't go for a drive? Get care. Let's take a little moving break for a second here. Get cozy. I forgot my coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee. You know, I said I don't have a thing for this color in the ad read, but everything in my new house is this color. Maybe I'm just lying to myself. I just realized that this is the first time I sat down to like condense and talk about, hey, here's why I'm moving, but it's actually, it's really good, but it's been a very difficult thing for me. I've lived in the same city with a break of about 13, 14 months. Since I was 10 years old, I don't think of Colorado Springs as like my hometown or anything like that. I had a lot of negative associations with the place for a very long time, but it has been home. And I talked about leaving a lot, but I never pulled the trigger on it. And I finally did. So why did I have to move? A few months ago, I realized that I was very unhappy pretty much everything in my life. Not like drowning in despair, but I just felt so stuck and frustrated with what I was doing for work, the things that I was doing daily. Even people I didn't have a reason to be frustrated with. I was just so done and grumpy and angry and stuck. And I spent some time trying to dive in and think about that. And it didn't take long for me to come to the realization that I needed a real change. About a year and a half ago, I got divorced. And I had been in that relationship for the majority of my adult life since I was 21. So everything in that city and a lot of the people that I knew, a lot of the relationships, the places that I would go just memories in general were all in that place, right? And I toughed it out for a year and a half, but in all honesty, it is hard. God divorce is hard. Different video for a different time, right? The fracturing of those memories of some of those friendships and relationships and just that place in general really wore me down and has been wearing on me for quite some time. But why would I leave, right? You can get over bad unpleasant memories. And yes, you absolutely can. But I realized I had the option to be able to move to a completely different city I have never lived in before. And the timing was kind of like, why wouldn't I write? The only reason would be fear of the unknown change. Very legitimate concerns, by the way. And I was very scared to move somewhere as a single disabled woman with two big dogs. I kind of have a system for everything at my old place and my old life. I have people in place and services in place and all of that. And here I don't have the vast majority. Also, as a side note, I'm not gonna talk about where I moved in Colorado, but I am still in state. It's funny because I'm gonna go off on a little philosophical ramble here for a moment, but as long as I have lived in the springs past the age of about 20, I've wanted to leave the place. There were so many bad things that occurred to me there. A lot of trauma, a lot of bad memories. I'm even talking like outside the major relationship that I was in. There was a lot of stuff that occurred there that was just hard to have the weight of around all the time. And you can absolutely live with that. You can rewrite the story. You can make the place your own. And I did that in so many ways. But I reached a point where it just felt so heavy all of the time and was seeping into everything. And I kind of thought if I don't leave now, it's not that I never would. But I almost wonder if I would just stay comfortable even if it wasn't something that was good for me. And as I have done with many decisions, and I'll talk about this more in the next video, next week where I'm talking about making like life-changing hard decisions, like cutting my leg off or moving cities, things like that. When I am faced with something major like that, I usually agonize about it for quite some time and then just make a decision and I stick with that decision. And that's what I did here. I had one conversation with a close person in my life and was like, I think it's the place I live. I don't wanna be here anymore and I haven't wanted to be here for a while and it's complicating things and I just don't feel good. But I wouldn't leave because of this, this and that and realizing that the reasons I had to stay, the reasons that I was scared to leave were all things that could be dealt with, that could be addressed. I said, okay, I'm gonna do it. I told it to one person. I found a place to live, signed the lease and started the process of leaving. Sometimes I still struggle to talk about this aspect of it because it feels vulnerable and weird, especially in the last few years, in the last year. I've realized how very difficult it is to live life as an amputee. I'm not like pity farming there, but there are facets of my life that are very exhausting that take a lot more energy, that cause a lot of physical pain, that are just difficult to live with and I'm good. I can handle it, but sometimes it's a lot and there's also a lot of fear. Living in a society that's not really built for me, understanding that I will always need a little bit more help than the average person. It's really freaky to think that I can do this on my own. Maybe I won't be able to forever, but right now I can and so why not try it? I don't want to let fear of all the what ifs paralyze me from making a decision that would be better for my mental health. And two nights ago was the first night I spent up here and I went to go get stuff from the grocery store and I was almost in tears that like I'm not, I'm not driving past so many places that are like stocked with memories. I'm not running into the same people though they're lovely people, right? Like I'm, it's different. I actually did this. I'm actually taking a step in my life that's good for me. I don't wanna make moving sound like a bigger emotional thing that it is, it feels like a lot to me. I think it's a lot to a lot of people, but here I am. I have moved in to a tiny, tiny little home that has a big backyard for the dogs, which is why I rented it. Prices are just, has anyone been trying to rent lately in any state? It's so very expensive, but I sold a bunch of stuff. I donated a lot more stuff because this is crazy downsizing. And now I get to live in what I'm pretty sure is a converted garage. I'm pretty sure. I didn't say that in the listing, but looking at the layout, pretty sure. And I'll give you guys a quick tour in just a second. It's not moved in, but you can get the general layout. It's a new little adventure, right? It's something different. It works well enough for accessibility. All the major doorways, except for like the bathroom I can access with my wheelchair on days when it is painful to walk. It is entirely one level where the other house I had, I still had to deal with stairs. And the thought of not having to walk up and down stairs every time coming home, oh my God is amazing. It's one of those things that's just, it's just painful enough and just uncomfortable enough and just enough like extra energy on bad leg days that I am thrilled to just be on one level. And now I get to start a new life, right? Not like a brand new life. I'm still the same person. I still will maintain the same friendships, all of that. But I have a chance to build something different. And I am very excited about that. Also a little scared. I'm pretty sure that once I'm done with all the busy work of moving, I'm gonna have at least a couple days of like let down, maybe treat myself to an emotional breakdown. And by that, I mean just like cry because it is a lot of change and there is a lot of letting things go, but it feels right. So why not? I'm gonna give it a shot. Hope that it goes well. Okay, so let's take a quick home tour. I just realized in reviewing the footage that as I was sitting here, I didn't straighten this out. If anyone clicked off the video because of that, I understand. So the main moving day hasn't come yet, but I still have gotten pretty settled in. I feel like there are two different kinds of people when it comes to moving. Some people have boxes in their garage in their house for a very long time. Awesome. I can't stand that for me personally. I cannot stand seeing things that are like undone. So I get settled the second I get here Sophie's been a big help except, except I do wanna expose one crime. And when I left for about an hour, she did something she has never done, ever. Took a little nibble on the door frame. This beautiful baby girl gets a little anxious sometimes. Do you get anxious? Yeah. Which is strange because even as a puppy, she never destroyed things. I think she's felt a lot like the stress. It happens. I too went to chew on walls sometimes. Welcome to the bathroom. You will find bathroom here. Yeah, I used to be a real estate agent. You could say I'm pretty good at home tours. It's, yeah, it's a bathroom. Also, I tried something new and I think it looks a little weird. I painted my wall because it's like, oh, this is cool and different and matches all the pink that I have over here. But it just looks a little odd. I'm gonna put, I'm gonna put paintings up, get my dining room moved in and see what I think. I have a little office-y area. Obviously not moved in just yet. And then the bedroom, which I also painted. I actually really, I really like this. I was at Home Depot and kind of bored and I was like, let me, let me try something new. I think it's kind of fun and different and my bed spread is green, so it matches. And that is the full home tour, guys. It's pretty tiny. It's like 700 square feet. But honestly, I'm kind of excited about that. Like I said, it's forced me to get rid of literally everything I do not absolutely want and need. I think it'll be very cozy for the three of us. Also, Leo is at his foster parents. He is still a puppy and takes a lot more attention and kind of training than Sophie does. So she's chilling with me. He's having a grand time chilling with some friends at his foster parents' house. And in a couple of days, I'll pick him up and we'll get settled here. I'm really excited to be here and see what life brings when I'm here and process some of the emotions that I'm sure are coming. I will say that moving has physically been so, so very demanding. Leg pain is very high, but I've kind of just decided to deal with it until I'm actually here and then I'll spend some time resting, being off of it, but it's kind of, it's very difficult to move on crutches or in a wheelchair when you're doing a lot of moving yourself. Thank you again to Thread Up for sponsoring today's video. Check out the link down below for 40% off your first order. I will be living in the sweater any chance I get. And with that, friends, I'm gonna keep packing and keep moving for the rest of the day. Thank you so much for taking a few minutes out of your day to watch the video. A big thank you as always to my beautiful patron members. Thank you for your generosity and to you watching this video right now. Thank you for spending a few minutes out of your day here with me today. Checking out my new little place. You could be anywhere else in the world doing anything else, but you chose to hang out with me for a few minutes and I really appreciate that. I love you, I'm thinking about you guys and I will see you in the next video. Bye guys. Let me say bye. There she is. Talking to the microphone. Oh no, she just wants cuddles. She just wants cuddles, that's okay. That's okay. She has become so clingy and so needy, which I don't mind. I love shepherds because they're so clingy, but this is at an all time high because she's dressed out. So I'm giving her lots of love and lots of attention. You want to say bye? Bye guys. Yeah.