 We're back. We're live. I'm Jay Fidel. This is Think Tech. It's Wednesday at 5 p.m. And that means it's the movie show with George Kaysen. George and I talk about movies. We review one movie every week and And we go from there and it's really a potpourri of movies. It's very diverse what we do And this movie is a very interesting movie. The movie we're going to review today. It's called the tender bar And it's about I guess a family love story. I mean, it's not just romantic love In fact, I don't think it is romantic love. It's family love and it goes through just it's epical It goes through, you know 20 30 years of family and it's it touches you Doesn't it touches you doesn't it George? Yes, it's a very touching movie about a young kid and coming of age So we'll talk about it. Yeah. Yeah, so let's talk about, you know, who put it together George Clooney directed it And I have a great regard for him the way he did this because this is a sort of an elegant movie. It's a simple movie but it's an elegantly simple movie and My hero is Ben Affleck. Ben Affleck has been in a number of movies lately Um, and you know, he's much more than what you might have thought he was He's a good actor and he can portray complex roles and situations And and uh more than any one of the movie he touches you And he is he is the tender bar but George, what is the tender bar anyway? Tender bar is a bar that's run owned and run by his maternal uncle charlie And it's just a few doors away from from where he's living with his grandfather and grandmother and a lot of the kids of those two Are back at home because of financial reasons including his mother and himself and His father is sort of famous a disc jockey on wrfm well known has a stage name as well but is absent because when he was Seven years old the seven months old the father absconded and they got divorced So he really doesn't know his father He only hears his father on the radio at night and he knows that's his father's From what I read his father had a beautiful voice, right? So everybody The public really liked him, you know this disc jockey. So this is this how the story starts and his Uncle charlie becomes like a surrogate father to him And also his grandfather And what we can get into that his grandfather takes has taken the place at school and at the school event for for the for his father who's absent and just Once or twice his father comes around, you know, and When the kid's doing well doing well or something he comes around But sort of absent father and we can get into I want to get into it's really a very good Acting by ben afleck all the players played really good. It's very it gets to your heart How this little kid finally it doesn't quite get to the law school that his mother wanted him to do But he becomes a writer he gets into yell and she didn't have much money. She was just a secretary, right? And she lived in different places and I'll get into that too You know, she she didn't have a lot of money, but they were all back at the grandfather's house and So I'll let I'll give it I'll hand it over to you j but I have more to say about the locations Yeah, okay. Well, we talk about the locations, but I want to talk about You know the dynamic of the characters Yeah, you know, you can tell good art and for that matter good movies When the characters evolve that they're they're not static. They're not flat They change right in front of you and in this case the young boy and this one actor plays the young boy Uh, then the the older boy, uh, who was you know jump ahead what 10 or 15 years? And um, he's another actor And of course, you know, there's a change there and his You know trajectory is he goes from being a a really smart kid to a really smart student And his mother wants him to go to Yale which would take him out of this this, you know Sort of crummy kooky life. They lead And into another world. She wants to go to Yale. She wants to go to law school too Um, and so you see the dynamic of the kid trying to find himself And he's the he's the center of the movie And you you love him because he's trying to find himself and he's he's an he's an honest individual And you love ben afleck the uncle because ben afleck is so Tender hearted. Maybe that's why they call the the bar the tender bar because ben afleck plays this wonderful role Of the uncle who cares so much about this boy and then this man And uh, he he plays as you said, he he becomes the father And he gives the the kid more than a father could give I mean an uncle can be very close to you. This is a study of uncles It's a study of um of how much sacrifice he made for the boy How much he taught the boy how much the boy depended on him, uh, you know, even in stressful times And and ben afleck was the owner of the bar and you know financial issues about the bar and um You know, he grew in the movie He grew from just an ordinary bartender type of guy to a fellow who was the center of the little community You know, they're little families so to speak and the people in the bar were all part of that family So, um, you know, you see a dynamic with ben afleck at the end of the movie He has he has this car on this ridiculous Great big cruiser Convertible car that he had like all his life And he gives the keys to the boy This is a symbolic act of of a great profundity Um, so you watch the car you watch this movie You gotta you gotta watch the car and then his grandfather, uh, forget the name of the actor But this guy is something Lloyd. Yeah, he's like out of his mind um And back to the future is where he made his his bones Then he plays the role of the grandfather who lets all these people come into his house And they don't have another place to go and he owns the house and He acts as their Oh, I don't know their their landlord in a sense, uh, you know that he's he's the boss of the family But he's out of his mind and a very kooky guy and what's interesting is that he also evolves He's not static either He changes he understands that he needs to be involved. He needs to help the boy He needs to be more than just a kooky guy And he actually becomes more reasonable more of a member of the family more of a Loving member of the family with the boy and the boy, you know, the boy needs that and he provides it So it's a very dynamic role also They all have dynamics. So that's you know, the example of a good writing and good directing So the movie, you know, it just seems like a simple movie, but it's not a simple movie at all And Ben Affleck is it seems like a simple character bartender big deal, but it's not simple at all We're talking about honest feelings here But if you want if you want and I'll stop in a minute But you know the most interesting part of the movie I think is when he goes to Yale and early on he runs into this African-american Hapa African-american woman Who is as classy as it gets? Yep. She is so beautiful and classy And he falls head over heels for her and he he's willing to do anything for her to vote his life for her And you know, you can understand that because how beautiful and classy she was But it doesn't work and it's such it It's so painful to watch her dump on him over and over and over again And you want them to get together you want there to be a real romance here. He just can't pull it off My favorite scene of the movie though, and I'll stop after this Is when uh said I had to use this in a in a family show But she says to him on their date She says to him At the end of their date, you know That part of the day we're supposed to you know kiss your date and all that and leave her at the doorstep He says she says to him. Have you ever? effed In a Volvo Where on where upon they have sex in the Volvo now later on He has a dinner with her fancy family in their fancy house. Yes, the father is a Hawley architect The mother is a black architect, and they're both very snooty both of them They're having this dinner and you remember It's an amazing scene And and you know they are dumping on him because he doesn't come from a big name family You know your crazy family although he's at Yale. They should have given him recognition for that And at the end of this dinner he closes the dinner by saying, you know, mr. What's your name? Have you have you ever effed in a Volvo? Indicating that he and his daughter The man's daughter have have done exactly that I mean it is a real show stuff And you know and that brings me to the point There's a lot of very funny lines in this in the show, but that doesn't make it any less profound your thoughts Yeah, you know not to get it I did have a similar issue where I was dating an African-American woman But I won't get into it from a very wealthy family. So but that was a different story. But bottom line is The storyline is wonderful It's heart-wrenching that that how this kid You know doesn't get to the law school, but he does get to Yale But I have issues like you alluded to in the in the in the Thing the introduction to the show It's man has it it's not lowl massachusetts It the the bar was just four doors or five doors away And it the bar the bar they show is in Beverly massachusetts So and the people that played the roles right their acting was good But it wasn't this this wasn't that an act an Accurate depiction of man has it of the bar of the grandparents house Or of the people, you know, so Max, can you bring up? The first link that I I I I sent you though. Yeah now here's the the real face And the the real face and go down the first one as you scroll down The first one is is the kid. It was jr mo ranger mo ranger Who is the author of the of the book that they oh, that's right? You must you must tell our audience, uh, how real this is this is based on on memoirs Yes, that were written up of this, uh, you know, this person's mo mo ranger, is it? Marge right exactly. He wrote a book. He wrote a book of his own life And it was his memoirs and this movie is taken off The his life has expressed in that book. So in a sense, it's it's you know, it's it's a it's a movie about him autobiographical movie. That's what it that's what it's based Obstensibly that's it and then you have the next face is is mo ranger and his teenage years and then go down And then the woman who played lily rabe who plays the the mother role and then the real picture of the mother And then the guy who pays the bad father and then the real picture of johnny michael's who was the dj Right, and then I think that's yeah, and and then scroll down. That's that's basically The real jr mo ranger as a young kid and then the picture of the actor who plays the the older jr Okay next Max if you could just bring up the first photo the first picture of that bar in in What's it? Beverly, messachusetts This is the bar that was shown in the movie the dickens bar, right? Take a look at that picture's worth a thousand words, right? that's in Beverly messachusetts probably you can tell sort of a poor community Max show the next slide, please This is the publicans bar in manhasset, which was just a few doors away from the house Where the maguire's lived the grandfather and grandmother and this is the publicans bar This is in manhasset, which I know very well because I was dating a woman in the 70s This was based in 70s in manhasset. This is on planned home road 550 planned home road in manhasset. That's the bar in an affluent community that max the next one, please Oh, yeah. Now. This is the 27 Parkview road in Lowell, massachusetts where the filming was of the ramshackle house, right where this was filmed Now then show the next max go to the next slide This is the grandparents house that it might have not been in this shape in 1970s But this is it's on planned home road in manhasset. That's the house now, you know That's pretty spiffy. It's a small house, but it's it's not right run down and I know that neighborhood very affluent neighborhood Okay, so so then go go go go to the next Yeah, this is the real uncle charlie, right? Not a real, you know, this is the real uncle charlie Charles maguire the uncle right sort of different than the one that they show the guy that portrayed it And I think that's the is that the last slide I max that I I think the other two. Yeah That's the last slide. Okay. So bottom line storyline wonderful heart wrenching wonderful but manhasset I mean this jr. Marenji probably went to grade school in manhasset, which has very very high Schools, you know Really trains those kids good and then they moved to arizona. I think they were in scott stale arizona His mother was alone, you know, she was she was a single mother now. She had been a secretary and I think I looked her up darothy marenj here and she lived in a cheap apartment in farmingdale Which is a where I grew up as a poor neighbor poorer neighborhood And maybe either as a single woman or just with the kid, right? So she moved back into her dad and mom's place in manhasset But this is depicted You know, they say a picture is worth a thousand words What they're showing is the bar and what they're showing is the ramshackle house Really there's a little bit of lack of truth there and he didn't grow up completely in manhasset He went they went to arizona He went to high school in arizona jr. Marenji and then he moved to berkeley and you know became famous as a writer Worked orange county registry went to yeah after he went to yeah now the thing is The scenes of with that That is classy african-american woman Very very real because I mean even in when I lived in LA Baldwin Hills wealthy blacks, you know wealthy I knew I had friends from that neighborhood in Baldwin Hills, which is a very affluent black neighborhood So that was very accurate and Connecticut where it was filmed. That's really accurate. That's very affluent. So location-wise issues but not Connecticut So so that's pretty much now if you get into the storyline a little more and I'll just a little more time Let me stop you for a minute. Sure. I have a theory about this. Yeah, okay They they could have made the movie in manhasset, but they chose not to And I think there's two reasons for that So they went to massachusetts for maybe a lower-scale neighborhood than manhasset as you showed in the photos But I think there's two possible reasons for that one is that we're talking about the 70s really When he was a kid when when they were living in that house together And that might have been manhasset in those days Manhasset now is a better neighborhood. I mean a lot of neighborhoods Now don't you think a lot of neighborhoods in mornig island north shore mornig island got to be better neighborhoods From then till now. I mean the money came in the jobs in manhattan. You know the classic commuter Manhasset was not a bad place if you roll it back. Maybe it was not quite as good a place The other thing is okay. Maybe they went to you know, massachusetts because he was he was trying to that is George Clooney was trying to establish the essence Of the family the essence of the house And he wanted you to see it as a kooky You know Down down down home kind of place Uh, and what he was saying, I think I'm sure what he was saying is you know, this location that I found this venue that I found in massachusetts is more accurate For the way these people live Then a current view a current movie maker view of the town of manhasset And I want to show a certain gestalt about the way they lived in his house I want to show a certain gestalt about the bar and the way they interacted, you know, with their patrons and friends in the bar So i'm going to show you what I think truly represents the memoirs Rather than the physical place. I'm taking you on a journey. I feel is more accurate I don't think they're trying to deceive us I think they're trying to give us the you know, call it poetic license The license of the filmmaker the license of the author. That's what Yeah, the the reason that I from or what I read is ben afleck is from the massachusetts boston area, right And maybe cluty because afleck was the number one star He he filmed it there because afleck would feel comfortable with those neighborhoods. He he knew those neighborhoods He had an affiliation of you know With those neighborhoods and it was like going back for him So he would be a better actor in those neighborhoods. So that might be part of it but Not to disagree with you I was going with this woman april in masset in manhasset and I used to drive up plan dome road and be even back in the Seven because I left for california in 78. This was in the middle 70s and even then manhasset was It was and even then was very wealthy. We're talking One of the most affluent neighborhoods on long island The whole north shore was a whole great name any number of towns like manhasset and and I lived in queens and You know any one of them was really uh to aspire to Oh, yeah, it lives on the north shore a big deal. Yeah, but I mean, yeah I mean the the what the thing that was pictured in lull that house was more hicksville or downtown farming dale or someplace like that You know more of a less affluent, but I knew plan dome road and it was 646 plan dome road was the house 550 plan dome road was the bar was like 142 steps between the bar and the house so the kid could go to the bar and those guys in the bar like you said For the gestalt I don't think that many got that those kind of guys were at that bar I think it was a more upscale kind of clientele Unless unless they were drawing clientele from other parts of long island But you know, there's no I was talking to my wife about that, you know, and we know that ben afleck is a kind of irishman Yeah, only I think is the same And you know, boston is irish and and if you if you looked at some of Some of ben afleck's other movies Um, you know, I saw one last night called town He plays the role of um, you know an irish An irish gang guy, but he does wonderful work with that the irish the whole boston thing Ben afleck has it and so I think they were trying to capture that And I and I think that they successfully did so the people in the bar, you know, it's like You think of a bar a dark bar, right a bar where people drink too much a bar where they spend too much time And that's he was trying to demonstrate that but at the same time They were trying to demonstrate a bar where everyone knew each other. It was the proverbial, you know, boston Um neighborhood bar. It was like a pub Everybody was acquainted with everybody and um, there were there were no It was nothing wrong happening there. Uh, it was just an extension of uh of their lives And getting back to the relationship between the kid and the uncle, right He was giving them a him a lot of knowledge about how to treat women How did how to run your life? How to study how to do this how to do that all the things that normally a father would do that with this absent, you know disc jockey, so so He's filling him in and that he all that training helped him when he went to the to the new york times To beat he went for a job there, you know and initially They rejected him because all initially and finally also They ultimately fired him fired him Because they said too many of his he was too green, you know, and and and it's too You know and and all his stories were about bars But eventually when he wrote this memoir that the book that this movie is about That was his claim to fame even though he had been a reporter for a few newspapers in l.a But that was his claim to fame that he wrote this this this memoir and that made him famous because it was turned into a Into a movie a screenplay in a movie. So Um, I agree with you that for the gestalt right massachusetts Bar the bar they filmed it and the house they filmed it was the basic feelings that that that jr. Muringer had expressed But I think he wasn't really being realistic, you know, you know, I think what it was You know, we this is an interesting experience and we want to mention it, you know So if you were to sit down george or if I were to sit down You know at our age and look back and write memoirs about how life was in the form of years in school with family and all the stress and strain family and And having uncles, you know, most of us have uncles of one kind or another How do we get along with them? How do they compete with our parents? Who is providing the nutrition and who wasn't I mean families are very complicated animals Um, you know, we might see it differently than the actual physical properties We might we might see it, uh, you know Different and and that's I think what they were trying to achieve that he was trying to achieve He had, you know, if you looked at your if your life You would pick a place that was somehow In your mind's eye Your recollection may be different than the actual place you were at To better capture, you know, your experience of growing up The other the other thing about growing up is that You know, he was not his own man. He was very smart He had intuitive skills He was brilliant as a kid Um, but it wasn't helping him much And he was getting advice from all these people as you say from his uncle And from his mother who was very motivated. It was a great scene about the letter that he got from Yale His uncle had the letter nobody wanted to open the letter Carefully opened the letter Carefully, you know unfolded it and read it ever so slowly And it said is with great pleasure that we advise you you have been accepted in the class of what 1986 As a as a you know a student at Yale and we'll pay your way too. Um, there was it was the kind of letter you love to get So I guess what I'm saying is uh, these are the high points of his memoirs If you were to write your memoirs, they wouldn't be exactly accurate It would be through the lens of time and history and everything that has taken place in your life since then And it would be different. It wouldn't be the same It would be with the benefit of all that you've learned then and since then So and I know I would have the same experience It would be it would be colored by my entire life experience And I think that's what we have here. So I think, um, you know, he's trying to tell us more than just a photographic look At at at this kid the other the other part is I said, um, he you know He was being pulled this way and that way didn't really have the kind of family structure You'd like to see without his uncle. He would have been in bad shape actually Um with his uncle better, but not complete and his mother had this thing about sending him to Yale no matter what And then requiring that he go to law school no matter what And so the big crunch point was he gave her Yale But he didn't give her law school at at some point He managed to live without without this Love interest At some point he managed to say to his mother. I'm not going to law school You know, I'm not going to do it. Sorry. I'm not going to do it And this was the emergence of the complete individual This is the emergence of the fellow who knew where he was and where he was going in And and and we all we all learned from that. Yeah Yeah so true that He knew he knew who he was and he didn't have to go to law school. I mean that was he found himself, you know But it was it was the formative years with his uncle and his mother and his grandparents That really did it and a lot of kids who grew up without a father My dad grew up without a father There's sort of a big hole there, you know, his my dad's uncle sort of took the place, you know But maternal uncle so yeah, so I I told his father and this and this the memoirs that in the movie was really a bum He was he he they went to a restaurant together and his father said I've gotten off alcohol And then his father wound up drinking up a storm without eating in the restaurant And then he says to his son. He says Let's go home so I can introduce you to my latest punteng And my wife said what's that mean? Well It means that he didn't think too much of his girlfriend Right And then they got into this a ridiculous fight Where where upon the son called the police on his father, right? I haven't come down and arrest his father and then he left And you know, it tells you the nature of his relationship with his father was very damaged Chris's father was a damaged human being was a chunky. Yeah, not a bad a bad guy. Yeah Yeah So what would you say, you know, you carried away from this movie? I mean to me, I think it's a movie about love Love in a family not having that available to you not having a father really Having having people who support you and want you to succeed And and then somehow you you deal with all these You know different stresses and strains and and you find yourself. This is not easy to write about And you know, even if it's first person and it's not easy to make a movie about it But I think I think we learned something from this about how to how to cope With life decisions how to cope with family sometimes very kooky sometimes really off the wall But but but there's enough love at least from his uncle That gives him a sustenance that makes him a real person. It's tolerance. It's understanding It's um, it's uh, you know, it's unconditional. That's what this movie is about Yes, how true Very hard-warming story. Yeah, I like I like the storyline. I I liked everything about it, you know Ben Affleck acting really good fully actors and actresses were You know par excellence. They were really good. So it's Leaves you with a good feeling at the end. I mean, I felt a little That I wish he had got a law school, but that's from my own perspective. I wish he had gotten the girl That was so tragic He tried so hard And uh, she was really a wonderful wonderful girl But but he just didn't have it and every time he returned to try to capture her She was dating someone else and it was somebody her parents wanted her to date Was really too bad. You know, we've all been through that haven't we This it's not like, uh, you know, he's the only one who had that kind of issue Um, and this shows you that you yes, you can you can get by anyway It's all right You can you can uh, you can move on move on, right? Yeah So there's a new genre for me. It's a new genre for certainly about Ben Affleck It's a new genre about, you know, personal stories That was and this this is very important. There was no violence and no vengeance That was there was no dark 1947 kind of gangster thing in this movie at all This was just ordinary people living ordinary lives and teaching you about their lives As opposed to so many other movies that are on netflix and prime That are just filled with violence and vengeance So in that sense, it was very refreshing. Don't you think? Definitely something light after all the other ones we've been Movies, you know, the Ukraine situation all the people getting killed and all the other ones we were doing World events that were really sad. This is sort of uplifting A nice break from all that, you know, because it gets I mean, we have to deal with all these horrible things in the world and this was just sort of something that was Uplifting, you know, in a way so it it helps to have that break Definitely, definitely so so What do you think of what would you give this from a one to 10? I'd give it a nine How about you? I I liked it even more. I would give it a 10. Well, wow, george. I didn't realize. Okay. Good I mean even though even though that I have that issue with the You know a lot of wealthy people like you said they look back He was looking back from success and living in berkeley and all his success to where he grew up But it's it's all for a matter of perspective, you know, because from me going up in farmingdale Manhasset was so I mean from my perspective he grew up in a fancy neighborhood, you know Even the house might have been a little run down, right? But the schools were phenomenal in manhasset and and I mean from dating that woman and then I knew I mean, it wasn't that house was nothing compared to theirs. I mean Plando, you know, that's Filthy rich flower hill. So I so it's a perspective looking back from when he was writing Where he grew up was sort of maybe as you said His perspective was different You know, so he looked at it as poverty But I don't think it was that I mean his mother was a secretary She probably had a cheap apartment in farmingdale even when she was single or before she moved back into her father's place, but but his perceptions In success with and a lot of wealthy people look back to their to their earlier life And and successful people and I think their perceptions are a little distorted that it really wasn't that bad So leave it at that, but I like this movie leave it at that. So you gave it a nine. I'll give it a 10 Okay, I want to add one other thing and if you ask me what this movie teaches me why I I liked it as much as I did Um, maybe you have a different answer, but I think it tells us that Our lives your life my life Are unique They belong to us. They're not perfect. Nobody has a perfect life Um, and you have a duty to yourself to see your life As your special property However, it worked out you were alive You learn stuff you met people you have relationships You know, uh, all of that and you have to see that as a valuable asset that is unique to you And you also have to look back down the road You know and and not regret any of it Because it is unique to you and I think everybody should do that everybody should look back down the road and Do memoirs whether he was ultimately whether the writer of the memoirs was ultimately Uh successful or not he didn't strike me as a guy who was immodest in any way I think you know, this view of his life is a very modest view It's a it's an attempt to be honest and all that. Um, but I think we all should do that And we all should write our own memoirs Whether we publish them or make a movie about them or not We should write them in our minds. We should write them even down on paper And examine why we have just as good just an interesting family Just as good as set relationships as this guy had definitely I I'm gonna write my memoirs I think it'd be a blockbuster movie a really interesting life We'll get into it sometime. Yeah, so it was it was it was good. Jay. You're always really on right on the ball You know, you understand these things deep understandings. Yeah Okay, well, we don't know what we're gonna cover next time george, but we will find out And so will our audience find out and it will be something unusual something different It will not be I assure you it will not be violence inventions Great enough enough enough sadness in this world Gets worse every every year George kason and I trying to find value in in ongoing And I'm going art form. There was an article in the Times recently about how movies Are losing it to cable and so when we talk about Netflix or Prime or any of the other Cables subscription services. We're talking about the future of movies. That's where it's at Not in the theaters. I'm sorry to say We're in a new genre now and george and I gonna Explore that in great detail going forward. Thank you so much george. Thank you. Jay. Thank you again Thanks for your insights Thank you so much for watching think tech hawaii If you like what we do, please like us and click the subscribe button on youtube and the follow button on vimeo You can also follow us on facebook instagram twitter and linked in and donate to us at think tech hawaii dot com Mahalo