 The word narcissist typically brings to mind someone who loudly brags about themselves and craves attention. But did you know that there's another kind of narcissist who's just as manipulative and arrogant, but harder to spot? They're called covert narcissists. Unlike the more obvious and grandiose type of narcissist who flaunts their ego openly, covert narcissists do it in a subtle and sneaky way. They hide their self-absorption and superiority complex behind a facade of humility, shyness, or even victimhood. So we created a video to help you identify covert narcissistic behaviors, so you can be more aware and handle them better. Now let's delve into some of the things that covert narcissists always do. The thinnest skin of all. How do you respond when someone criticizes you? You may feel hurt, rejected, and embarrassed, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong in feeling that way, and sometimes the negative feedback isn't true at all and is purposefully delivered to shatter your sense of self-worth. However, there is something amiss when you're extremely sensitive to criticism. According to psychiatrist Glenn Gabbard, in comparison with their grandiose counterparts, covert narcissists tend to possess the thinnest skin and are super sensitive. They are easily triggered and feel offended whenever they receive real or perceived criticism. Criticism pushes covert narcissists to either be defensive with a growing sentiment of quiet superiority or withdrawal with sulkiness. They believe they are perfect and cannot understand that someone does not view them in the same light. Covert narcissists truly feel that they are the center of the universe, and they conceal how affected they are by negative feedback by not showing it as much as an extroverted narcissist. Silent smugness. Research published in the American Journal of Psychiatry explains that grandiose narcissists are easier to spot than covert narcissists due to their obvious boasting and attention-seeking behaviors. Covert narcissists display more subtle superiority as they are inclined to scrutinize and judge their environment silently while listening disinterestedly with no meaningful contribution to the conversation. When you're around them, you feel they're acting aloof rather than brazenly showing their negativity. They prefer to avoid situations that may threaten their sense of superiority. Impolite gestures. Have you ever recounted an exciting travel story that the person in front of you suddenly fakes a yawn? Licensed marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer says this is a typical behavior displayed by covert narcissists as they are taking delight in discreetly evaluating and judging other people. Besides that, these are also often manifested outwardly with eye-rolling when they want to discard people's opinions, frequently sighing and feeling irritated and groaning to convey their disapproval. Fish out sympathy. Psychologist Dr. Susan Albers explains that covert narcissists often voice their negative self-talk to fish for sympathy from people. They may say, Psy, I look old. But in reality, they want others to come to their rescue and shower them with statements to negate their self-deprecation. By downplaying their strength, the covert narcissist has found a sneaky way to make others compliment them so that they feel good about themselves. They are most likely unaware that the underlying reason they're behaving like this is because of their need for positive attention. Passive-aggressive behavior. So you get a feeling that your friend is mad at you. When asked, what's the matter, he scowls and answers, I'm fine. But you know there's clearly something wrong because he continues to act coldly towards you. Licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Matthew Boland notes that covert narcissists typically act passive-aggressively when frustrated to demonstrate their superiority. They can give you this silent treatment, mock you but disguise it as a joke or shift the blame to make you feel bad. These behaviors are rooted in their belief that they are special, making them feel that they deserve to get whatever their hearts desire. Self-serving empathy. What do you feel when your friend starts crying and tells you she just got fired? Can you put yourself in her shoes and understand why she would feel sad and disappointed? Or when you see her crying, her sadness makes you feel sad too? The first reaction shows that you have cognitive empathy, while the second one demonstrates that you possess emotional empathy. In a study, researcher Ranislav Rogosa and colleagues concluded that covert narcissists can empathize with other people but with the underlying motivation to get the approval of others. In other words, they have cognitive empathy and understand what other people are feeling and thinking, but they're unable to develop emotional empathy. On the surface, people with covert narcissism may seem to be compassionate and generous, but on a deeper level, their kind behavior is self-serving. As they do it to be seen as the good guy and praised by the people around them. If these behaviors are not admired, the covert narcissists will be resentful. No matter what type of narcissist you have met in your life, overt or covert, close and frequent interactions with them may leave you feeling weary and demoralized. So if you suspect that you have a covert narcissist in your life, it's a good idea to seek professional support where you can learn more about the disorder and start your healing journey. 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