 Well, whether you're a man or a woman the idea of getting played by someone can really suck Let's face it. The idea of being played. What does that mean to be played by someone? That means that they probably we well I think we perceive it as an intentional taking advantage of you as an intentional taking advantage of you and As I really think about the idea of being played I think there are definitely people who will genuinely take advantage of other people and Then I think there are people that unintentionally take advantage and what I mean by take advantage. I'm really talking about their Interests in themselves matter more than their interest in you. I repeat that their interest in themselves Matter more than their interest in you and to some degree human beings operate from a selfish place I mean, I think that we are we are indoctrinated in this at birth I mean when you think about babies actually are literally a hundred percent dependent upon some caretaker and probably on a Psychological level with creates a level of selfishness believing that you're God to some degree because you're being cared for now I'm only speculating here just based on my own observations Maybe that's where the root of this starts and I'm certainly sure that there are childhood wounds and traumas and adult traumas That makes individuals rather selfish and when we really think about being played It's because somebody cares again more about their own needs and wants than your needs and wants So why does this happen? Why do why does this happen so often? And this isn't singular to women. Okay, that they get played men get played as well, too women, you know, I think oftentimes on my channel a lot of women forget that men are It was about to use the word victims, but I didn't want to go down that road But men experience bad behavior from women just like women experience bad behavior from men and the reality is is while there are a lot of people who are quite frankly toxic the vast majority of people are either rather confused or They're genuinely caring people and it doesn't matter their gender and I want to show you a new chart that I came up with This says inner personalities and behaviors So I'm just gonna post this up and by the way, this is not a fact It's an opinion, but I roughly do believe about 20% of people have toxic behaviors That's whether they are sociopathic or true Narcissist personality disorder disorder and I'm just making up this number and while I say over here 20% are caring people. By the way, I'm talking about men and women alike I believe the vast majority of people are confused. They are going through a level of confusion in their life This is why if you follow my channel, you know, I talk about Significantly about dysfunctional human beings and dysfunctional human beings along with toxic human beings Are people that have childhood wounds and traumas or adult traumas that have gone unhealed I'm repeat that it's gone unhealed and the vast majority of the dating Population are dating with unhealed people. We have a lot of people that are unhealed bouncing off of one another and No wonder it's a mess out there No wonder the dating marketplace is a mess and then oftentimes what happens particularly for women I believe I'm not saying this is a fact. I think oftentimes they revert to some victim consciousness Some victim consciousness if they've had one bad experience with a man after another bad experience with a man after another bad experience with a man What I mean by victim consciousness, maybe I should retract that they become oftentimes bitter and jaded and walled up So if this experience has happened to you where you feel like you've been played Maybe sharing what I'm about to share today might give you some insight of what may have caused that or may let me reframe that Contributed to that feeling of getting played and then we're going to talk about how to overcome this going forward So you don't ever feel like going forward in the dating process You can get played by a guy because let me just say this and I said this a moment ago Most human beings deep down are good people They're just dealing with a lot of emotional stuff in their life a lot of dysfunctionality and while there are genuinely Caring people out there men and women alike caring people that want to grow in a relationship I think the hardest thing for women in particular is to vet those men Which is why I created a coaching program around that so if you need some support with that Check out the link to a free discovery call with me to see if working with a coach is right for you Because my whole harry of expertise is teach you how to pick the men who are more apt to be what I call Grower and builders versus those guys that are going to just spend time with you those guys that are genuinely confused or worse their toxic people so Why do women get played I think and then I'm going to get into the the four examples I think women inherently and this is just my speculation because you literally From thousands and thousands of hundreds of thousands of years you've been Predominantly dependent upon men for survival reasons and I want you to think about this It literally wasn't up until about 50 or 60 years ago that women had any capacity to fully support themselves financially, so if it's been Engrained to be dependent upon men then I often times believe women give their power away to men in the early States of dating because the early states of dating is set up for you to give your power away because you're just simply told to Lean back in your feminine energy and let the guy lead and if you follow my channel You know you're giving the job to the wrong person You are in charge of your relationship destiny, which starts from a level of individual empowerment for yourself This is why when I wrote my book what the heck a self-love anyway a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work There's a link below to get the book why I wrote this book Chapter one is all about being in your empowerment to speak your truth and do it from a kind place and Ladies I witness you oh repeatedly Repeatedly repeatedly Stifle your voice and I'm here to suggest them to Invite you to be more empowered in the process so you don't get played and Look at the contributing factors that might cause someone to get played. All right, so let's lean into my notes bump bump bump So oh And the other thing I'm gonna share this is me going off loan one of my tangents I know everybody complains I don't get to the point I go off on tangents But I'd like to think from the beginning I shoot my video I provide a lot of good content to be aware of and then I get to the content itself that was listed in the title But I believe one of the things is I believe women tend to give their power away to men And I also believe men women more so than men have a fantasy of the way Relationship should be like instead of genuinely leaning into the reality of a relationship I repeat that women tend to have a fantasy of the way relationship should be like not I'm just saying more so than men Let's just say it's 60 40 because I'm sure men have their own fantasies of what relationship should look like All right, so and in a moment, I'll talk about what empowerment looks like So let's talk about the four types of women who keep getting played number one She believes he has good character. She believes he has good character now I want to give you a couple examples that cross my mind here Now one example. I was thinking of is particularly the men that you think have a great work ethic a great worth I think you might think oh my god, this guy has a great work ethic He might think wow what great character he has But here's the challenge with a intense work ethic Oftentimes these individuals lack balance in their life and they put their work or their money as the priority in the relationship And not actually you so while you might proceed. They have good character Do they actually have that same character to lean into the relationship himself? And I also recently shared this in a previous video. I talked to a woman who When she was beginning to date this man, she saw how devoted he was to his Daughter, excuse me how amazingly devoted he was to his daughter She thought wow what a man of character. What a deep character. He's fully devoted to his kids Do you know what caused the demise of the relationship? He put his daughter ahead of her in every situation and was continually Criticizing her for not accepting the daughter now I'm not certain if she might have had issues going into it But when we create these perceived perceptions about someone's character with limited information I think it's very dangerous to Because you could be setting yourself up By the way, and I use the term play but you could be setting yourself up really just for a relationship failure because there is Listen, if we look at ourselves as victims as we've been played as it's something happened to us Instead of looking at everything as an opportunity to working for us might just be a different I'm just offering a different way to perceive it. Okay number two He folk. Oh She focuses on his potential and not the reality Now I see this frequently with women. Oh my god women who I mean, I can't believe how many women date Married men and you think oh my god, there's potential. There's you know He's he's you're focusing on his potential of leaving his wife Maybe he's gone through a divorce and all he talks about is his ex-spouse and you're thinking well He's talking about his ex-spouse and if I just sit tight long enough. He'll start talking about me or worse He's a guy who has money issues or other issues in his life and you think well, he's trying to grow out of these money issues I'm just gonna focus on his potential Focusing on a person's potential can set you up for relationship endings I was about to say failures, but again, I want to say is if everything's happening for you They're not relationship failures. They're relationship ending and again being played as a perception You might choose to view it from instead of going what how did I react in these situations? That caused me to be in these situations because that's the empowered way of looking at things number three She thinks sex leads to relationship success She thinks success sex leads to relationship success and I got to tell you something You're not gonna like what I'm about to say But I scroll through dating apps and I see significant amount of women that want their body in a sexual way To tantalize or tantalize a guy and then they wonder why they get played over and over and over again I call these women and you're not gonna like this. I call them low-hanging fruit. They basically literally lead with their sexuality In oftentimes very not just overly provocative ways and sleazy provocative ways But sometimes thinking listen if you have to show off your body and your sensuality in a dating app You're literally inviting men who only just want to fuck you and don't want to relationship with you So if you're operating as low-hanging fruit, you have a greater chance of getting played Over and over and over again again I don't like being played. You have a chance of having men only seek you from a sexual perspective and not from a heart-centered or Intellectual perspective and I see this frequently and last but not least And this is the one I think is probably the most She needs outside validation from men These women are susceptible to love bombers these women are susceptible to the men who who talk about how Amazing the relationship and how amazing you are and how amazing you're just so you're just so amazing You're just amazing you're amazing our relationship is so as amazing blah blah blah blah blah and then you wonder where this guy go I Talked about how amazing I was and how amazing our relationship was if you're need Validation to actually lean into the relationship And you got to keep in mind if you need this and it's coming from a stranger someone who you just Genuinely can't trust you could be setting yourself up for relationship endings and This is the toughest part because I Think here in the United States. We are suckling on the nipple of I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself I need you to love me so I can feel good about myself and we are suckling on that nipple both men and women alike because Deep down humans are thirsty for connection and true companionship It's the confused dysfunctional people out there, which probably represents well over 80% of the dating population today Men and women equally equally are dysfunctional and It's no wonder it's a cluster fuck out there. This is why I continually Repeat over and over again read the books. I recommend by the way There's a link below to Jonathan recommend books whether it's the Hoffman process whether it's eight dates whether it's nonviolent Communication how to be an adult in relationship the untethered soul. I Recommend all these books because when you begin to do the work You are less likely to get sucked in by people who are only in it for the short run Or have no capacity to be in a relationship I'm gonna repeat that You could have chemistry you could have you could have chemistry shared values One of the lifestyles and the person could be even emotionally mature and yet They're not capable of leaning into the relationship because they still have Unresolved issues in their lives doesn't make them bad people. It just happens to be the vast majority of human beings So what's the solution all this? There's two things I want for all of the ladies to think about by the way I Recently had a woman reach out to me for a coaching session. I said I'm not your coach I'm here to teach you a specific area of how to choose men much better than you ever had before And with some empowerment with some law of attraction exercises But if you are really a wounded bird out there if you've got a lot of if you don't have real trust in yourself Then I highly recommend two books. I want to recommend a new book. I haven't talked about in a while Or a book I haven't talked about while breaking the habit of being yourself by dr. Joe dispensa Now this ain't this is a thick book. This could take you a while to read Okay, but there is some really good shit in this book to help you break that habit of The definition of insanity doing the same things over and over again expecting different results And then here's a book I've been talking about frequently. I highly recommend why men love bitches Bitch stands for babe in total control of herself. Yes Folks if you want to change the narrative in your life Then you have to start from the inside out because you can watch videos from my contemporaries The five ways to get your ex back the five things to say that'll make him drop his drawers for you By the way, that's all you have to say is I want to suck. I want to suck your dick or whatever seven things Um, and that'll drop his drawers But what I'm saying is to the five things to say to man to fully commit all that's garbage Even my video titles sometimes are just to get you to click so I can get you Thinking in a different Listen, I'm the wake-up call for many of you to begin a journey of personal development self-help and spiritual work That's why I'm here on the planet I use dating as the vehicle because the number one emotional health issue for people is I'm not good enough I'm not lovable and I'm not likable And dating triggers this like nobody's business So I invite you all to begin a journey to heal from the inside out And then utilizing my expertise into helping you pick the guys who are also in the same place Because I all want you to attract an amazing relationship in your life and I invite you with this prayer Dear god universe spirit. I invite deep love in my life romantic love where we have shared chemistry with one another And we have amazing communication with one another and we can banter for hours and hours at a time And our lives are blendable and compatible with one another And we share the same values and have the emotional maturity so we can build the deep roots of trust Through social activities hobbies mutual interests through our our mutual expression of the five love languages And the fact that we even get along financially together And that we have reserved intimate sexual practice with one another and we spend time Truly devoted to growing this relationship. That's what I invite you all to have in your life God universe and spirit and I invite that prayer for all of you as well Are you with me? Give me an amen All right, the four types of women get played and if you want to shift that narrative then choose Empowerment going forward Um Sorry All right. Well, I think this will be a great time to lean into hold on one second everybody. Um This will be a great time to lean into our q&a section of our talk for those who are familiar with my work familiar with my My my channel my podcast everything. This is time for q&a. This is your chance to ask me questions directly Uh simply write the word question then post the question there after or you can purchase a super sticker super chat There's a little dollar sign the chat box All the monies go from the super sticker super chat goes to a scholarship fund in the name of my son Conor Asley That's a picture of him right there. And that's one of them right there He's my son who passed away almost four years ago And in his honor, I've started a scholarship fund To help to free to to promote things like the Hoffman process Insight seminars and also to help defray the cost of personal development for those in need So before I take questions and I see we already have a few that come in I have a personal share with everyone and that is um recently I had a Someone posted a comment Um on one of my videos And they said Jonathan your personal life is not exactly a role model for relationship nirvana And I posted this on my community page and I wanted to share with my response because I had I also wanted to share with you a personal reflection on this But here's my response to this person How much of my personal life do you really know? With that said I'm here with that said I'm here to say that the dating marketplace is a mess And I'm experiencing many of the frustration all folks experience This makes me human And that's why and that's what I'm modeling being a human Plus I encourage personal development self-help and spiritual work as an antidote for the chaos And I do my best to live my life from a spiritual perspective And let me say this I'm not even close to perfect And some days I'm cynical Some days I'm upbeat Some days I'm downright righteous While I'm not perfect I know my mission is to be a wake-up call for many humans in the dating realm At the same time I have amazing relationships with so many people And I do my best to be happy to be a happy and fun person in my personal life And for the record I feel like I live a blessed life which feels like nirvana to me Well, I wanted to share that with you everybody is in the days after posting that I had an interesting awareness And I wanted to share this with you role modeling what I believe some of you might be experiencing And you can let me know in the comments if that's the case So I got married in my 20s Followed the blueprint I was supposed to follow was married for 12 years Newer, I think a total of 15 years and we got a divorce And after the divorce I was ridiculously dysfunctional because I'd lost my quarter million-dollar-year job And I got wiped out in the market crash of 2008 and nine And my life for the next decade half decade was absolutely dysfunctional Oh Not quite half half decade, but for at least two or three years before I found my passion being a dating a relationship coach And a few years later after beginning my journey in this profession. I met a woman And uh, we went on to have a six year on again off again a relationship I'm not proud of the fact. We were on again off again I do believe we came into our lives to each other to heal one another and I was she accepted me In one of my darkest deepest places in my life. I fact ladies I wouldn't recommend what she did and that was to choose me because I wasn't in a good place In fact, I was so desk. I was so depressed and financially You know bankrupt That I was actually living with my mom and dad in a retirement community at age 40 And this was after living in a two million dollar home prior to my divorce So I'm sharing this with you is that relationship Wasn't a role model of anything other than just me being human And that relationship ended In 2017 And as I've reflected on the five or six years the five years since then Why haven't I been able to attract a relationship? And I want to share with you all publicly Because what I'm doing my best to role model is vulnerability authenticity and transparency So six months after she My relationship ended. I lost my mother to cancer. She was 88 years old And while that didn't overly affect me that certainly was You know partially I was a bit emotionally consumed by that And then six months later I lost my 19 year old son to an accident And that brought me to my knees on so many levels And the idea of being in a relationship while I wanted companionship while I wanted connection while I wanted sex I certainly wasn't in a position to do that because I was and I was also I didn't even feel like working in 2018 and 19 I was probably at a low point my professional life of still helping people in the dating mating and relating realm, but emotionally I was going through chaos And so I put my attention to writing a book two months after connor passed away again My book what the heck itself love anyway And I immersed myself in this book As a way to heal myself and during that time I'd done the Hoffman process during that time I'd done insight seminars in the last five years what I also realized Is that what was happening here in the united states was highly affecting me From my ability to really lean into a relationship with anybody And we were we are divided here in the country from a political perspective And that divide hurts me deeply And I'll be just be candid with you I cannot stand ideologies that are are are separate from one another Whether you're on the right whether you're on the left Whether you're vaccine or no vaccine whether you're a mask or no mask the last Four years in particular and with the with the covet as well It's made me very difficult to feel safe with human beings because there's so much rigid ideologies political politics identity politics People that are so overly sensitive that god forbid you didn't call them the right pronouns you lose your job over it And this hurts me deeply And it's made it very difficult to want to lean into trusting another human being On an emotional level And I suspect I'm not alone with this I feel like I am definitely not alone with this because folks I'm a I'm a I'm a centrist or I'm moderate or whatever it is I I just believe we should do our best to try to find solutions rather than sticking to our individual Ideologies, that's just how I operate because that's what love would do and that's how love would respond And yet the same time I've created a very small world for myself meaning I even people that are close friends of mine have had difficulties Wanting to connect with them because the ideologies are so rigid to one side or the other And this has made me very nervous Putting myself in the dating realm because there are people that their ideologies are very very clearly stated on the dating apps And I just don't know if I want to go down that road So why am I not in a relationship? I certainly believe the last four years of my life between between losing my mother losing connor and what's happened here in the united states and And certainly globally has made me less trusting of people And I don't like that. I don't like that. I'm not feeling trusting of people I know this is my own issue, but if I really looked in the mirror after reading that comment It's because It doesn't feel safe anymore. There's no real tribe it didn't you know It would someone once said it takes a village and I don't believe If it feels like whether we're in the tribe our village our community It feels so isolated these days And it's certainly covet didn't help that for so many of us that were you know that worked from home by ourselves And so I only share this just as simply to state That no human being is perfect and the minute we put any Individual out there who has a public platform like I do and some capacity of being perfect You're setting me up for failure because I can never live up to perfection. I am ridiculously Imperfect my communication my speech sometimes my my thinking my thoughts my judgments my resentments my guilt my shame I am riddled with flaws I'm not even perfect in the dating realm And so all I can do is have love and compassion for myself Because I do my best to live under the the four agreements if you're not familiar with the four agreements I'm pulling out this book right now. Do your best be impeccable with your world word don't make assumptions and projections of others is Perceptions of people of others is just they're merely projections of you And so I invite you all the reason why I recommend all these books over and over again because Look at you may not be as fucked up as I am believe me I have got shit in my childhood that I mean has put up walls and armor and even in my adult life that has walls and armor And hopefully you're not as messed up as I am But I spend every day peeling the onion every day to try to be the best version of myself And that's my invitation for everyone because we cannot be dependent upon romantic relationships to solve our individual desire To want others to love us for us to feel good about ourselves. Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know. I'll come back and read the comments later All right. Now it's time for q&a And if you're listening to the lives or the audio you won't be able to see any of this Is this making sense everyone? Thank you Oh, I see a lot of beautiful comments here. Thank you so much um I just hope that I can find a gentleman who knows how to have a conversation with me without sex right off the bat No, love bombing. Why do men love bomb? Why do they look at I'm guilty of love bombing I'm guilty of being Fucking my brain. By the way folks I'm going to tell you I am guilty habitually guilty of the penis doing the thinking Ladies men of the gas. You're the brakes. Okay Okay, I mean even I listen is is evolved as I might be that you might perceive me to be I'm that guy too It's just some you know the thing is as much as it doesn't mean we're bad people It's just a human thing All right. Thank you so much for that one ah Laura writes Question, how do you trust when you open your heart and people don't care about feeling? Wait, p and let me repeat that again. How do you trust when you open your heart and people don't care about your feelings? just their own So That's a good question So I think we have to you know what I operate from the premise that everybody is selfish Okay, let me just start from that. I look at women is selfish. Men is selfish. I look at everybody is selfish. Okay, so I also can have a capacity to keep my heart wide open Recognizing that what I'm looking for is selfless behavior And the more selfless behavior I witness the more I trust this person But first I trust myself and I trust myself with this one narrative Okay Everything is going to be okay Everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay So no matter what path I go down in life with some other human being I operate from the premise that I'm going to be okay And that everything is happening for me and not to me because anything less than that is usually victim consciousness And so I start by trusting myself And I trust that god universe spirit puts people in my path Help me to grow and love myself or they help me grow Or they teach me a lesson to help me grow or love myself And that's how I operate Is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know laura. Thank you so much for that question Okay Let's see what we got here. Looks like we have a $10. Oh, I want to thank jade cancer for the $10 super sticker Thank you so much for this connor scholarship fund. I appreciate that uh We are all feeling that way. Thank you so much um Yes, work at home. Oh jonathan. Sorry to hear I think everything is better It's people that are panicking for nothing I had covet from the beginning and i'm not afraid to talk to people. Love is indeed this world. Amen. Love is indeed in this world All right, um bear with me everyone. Let's keep swimming lily Talia says jonathan honestly a role model to me as a person who's willing to pick themselves up every time life kicks them down And for being this model. I thank you talia from canada. Thank you so much And if I butchered your name, I apologize um Oh, alexandra says you're a person to follow. It's because you're transparent and honest and real. Thank you so much. I appreciate that Brenda says that's all we can do is peel our onions exactly You know folks. I I encourage you all to introspectively look inward and go what can I do? This is what I do is like when I Listen, my my barometer is really simple I'm either feeling good or I don't feel good now. Sometimes my feelings are affected by the weather because I'm highly affected by the weather So it's a gloomy day outside. I tend to be gloomy. I could never imagine living in seattle Or any place that's raining all the time. So that's one thing But then when it comes to interpersonal I ask myself Do I feel good or I don't feel good and when I don't feel good? I always ask myself the question What's inside of me That's causing this in other words. I don't look at the other person. I look at myself I go to the mirror and go what inside of me is causing this That's the question. I ask myself I I don't I do my best not to go into victim consciousness and blaming and as I said before we are suckling on the nipple of victim Consciousness here in the united states and I'm certainly guilty of that in many ways so Anyways, I went off on a tangent there. So thank you. Oh, we got another nine dollar super sticker. Thank you, renai. I appreciate Susan says love By self at least 80 percent before letting others love you if you know what I mean I hope I'm at 80 percent. I don't know but I'm getting there. I hope I'm there, but I'm getting there Tanya says Jonathan you're adorable. I love your honesty. It's inspiring. Thanks a bunch. I appreciate that all right Here's another one love bombing it stinks But the real question to me is why do we allow it or even entertain it? There is responsibility on our part for what we allow and accept. Oh my god. I'm so happy you said this Thank you so much It's interesting. I was listening to jordan peterson earlier today. Some of you might not like him I find him to be a fascinating intellectual and he was talking about individual responsibility today and I was riveted to this talk because I think humans these days lack a level of self-discipline And a level of responsibility It's we we've almost become a society at least here in the united states that There's a pandering to everybody's Marginalized feelings Instead of just Recognizing that sometimes sticks and stones may break our bones, but names will never hurt us number one And number two, we are in charge of our emotional destiny We don't have to give it to someone to give ourselves give someone else our power whenever we say you triggered me You triggered me. Well, then fucking work on the trigger shit So the next time somebody says a bonehead move you don't have to feel Bad about it You know, we are like we are literally suckling on such victimness here And i'm guilty of this myself So anyway Taking responsibility of our lives is what gives us the opportunity to have real meaning in our lives At least that's my perception anyway Ah, thank you so much for that. I appreciate it All right If you have a question for me write the word question post the question thereafter If you post a question earlier find it and post it again because there's a lot of content here for me to scroll through here So thank you so much All right, let's keep swimming just keep swimming a little bit dory. Let's see Um Sorry, okay, here we go. Oh kimberley. Hey, sweetheart question Our men that are true narcissists even capable of having an emotionally stable healthy relationship Or are they truly not worthy of my time? So You know narcissists also can come to the table with a lot of benefits. I know a lot of Financially successful people men and women alike who are narcissistic and they're great caretakers of their partner Financial caretakers because for them everything is about how they look in their image. So I wouldn't completely discount I mean a narcissist um As being incapable of being in a relationship And I've known many women who have been with narcissists that are Taking care of they just learn to navigate their partner Because there's a trade-off going on. So you have to ask yourself What do you really want and what are you willing to trade off? If you're going to choose to be with the narcissist and by the way We are definitely seeing a huge rise in narcissism these days a huge rise in this men and women alike um, and so It's it's really about selfishness versus selflessness And it's difficult by the way ladies you are not role models of being Virtuous, okay You there are just as many gold diggers and women take advantage of men every time someone Complains every time I I recommend taking turns in the dating process and a woman says I deserve to be financially taken care of By a guy. Well, that's narcissistic I'm not saying it's narcissism. It's narcissistic to believe that you are better than someone else And we are suckling on the nipple for a lot of human beings of thinking that they're better than other people Instead of saying we are all on this planet doing the best we can So anyway You can't have a relationship with a narcissist. It's absolutely possible. Are you going to be happy? And we are swimming in a sea of selfishness out there This is why when I created my coaching program, it's designed to ferret out to find the needle in the haystack Of the pool that we're in and by the way the dating marketplace is so fucked up because of dating apps And yet we're stuck because meeting people organically is almost becoming a thing of the past So I don't think I have a solution for you I I I put myself out on the dating apps because I look at them as just a spoke in the wheel But I'm also put myself out there in the real world as well And it's becoming increasingly harder when your world starts shrinking and you're no longer out with single eligible people So maybe some of us many of us have to resign ourselves of look We may not find that romantic partner in our life That may not be in your cards And recognizing that if that's the case That's okay too Because love wants you to love on yourself from first and foremost And if god universe spirit invites in a romantic partner in your life Then be fucking grateful And by the way, that's another thing I see so lacking is genuine gratitude We are such a selfish society instead of look at here in the united states We literally don't have to worry about too much. We don't have to worry about I mean if you've got a job You've got a roof and you've got food in your fridge. You literally have 80 percent more than 80 percent of the population out there, but Americans are so fucking ungrateful many of them not all But so many of them are ungrateful. Why don't you spend some time in india? Why don't you spend some time in ukraine right now and go? You know what maybe I should be grateful for all I have and the worst thing I don't have is a man in my life or a woman in my life So fucking what you've got a roof over your head and food in the fridge. Oops. I'm going off on a rant My rant is because what's missing today is genuine gratitude if you really want to change your life today Everybody please read this book The untethered soul by michael singer It teaches you how to talk to the voice in your head. This is my bible if there was such a thing This will change your fucking life. By the way only read one chapter at one sitting Never more than two chapters in a day and not one only one chapter at a time one chapter a day 19 days It'll take you about four chapters to figure the fucking book out and then you'll be thanking me Purchase the book on tethered soul by michael singer. All right Thank you kimberley big hugs all right Brenda says the political correctness is killing us all off indeed. Thank you Uh, bump bump bump. Oh, we got a 20 dollar super sticker. Thank you. Who do we have? Oh, we got another spammer here. Sorry Uh, where's that? Excuse me everybody All right din writes by the way, thank you for the 20 dollar super sticker I believe this became acceptable a decade ago with the me generation now. It's an epidemic. She's so fucking right This whole me me me me me. We're by the way, I and I by the way I I witness listen ladies you guys act like a lot of times you're above it all but I Witness women being just as bad as this shit as men But selfishness is not a gender thing It's a human thing You know, how many people actually go and genuinely volunteer? Once a month once a week once a year how many people actually are in service to others You know, believe it or not my channel is my method of being of service to humanity What are you doing for in service to humanity? What are you doing post it? I want to read what do you do to be in service outside of your own world? What do you do to help others? Because that's that's how we can shift this narrative from outside of me And either way, how many of you go to impoverished neighborhoods and see how people live and then actually say to yourself fuck I am so grateful Folks, I went to a workshop some years ago. It was 50 men 50 men sat in a circle For one day for hours sharing Their individual experiences and I'm listening to some men who are molested by their by their teachers. They're molested by their Priests they were molested by their parents sexually abused Physically abused by their parents ridiculed as children One poor guy. He was so ridiculed because he said he had the smallest penis on the planet He was so ridiculed And i'm sitting in this room going god I am so grateful that well my parents fucked me up in so many ways. I didn't experience the worst in life Gratitude will shift the narrative and that's my invitation for many of you. All right. Thank you Here's alexander says gratitude versus generosity gratitude is important But if we focus on generosity, we're spreading so much love and goodwill A fucking man way to go there alexander. I appreciate it. They're here on memorial day way to go Um, jennifer says thank you for your humanity jonathan. We appreciate your wisdom and transparency. Thank you so much And I do believe what susan susan says gratitude reverses negativity All right for the last few minutes I'm going to answer any personal question you have of me before we wrap up for on this uh memorial day If you have a personal question, write the word personal question and then post the question you have of me If you have want to ask me a personal question. I'm going to do my best to respond Mary lin says I spend time once a month doing service through my church group Mary lin big hugs to you sweet art big gigantic shot them bear hugs to you All right debbie says I want all the books um Renee says I love I love going to nickerogg after many trips They're sponsoring a little girl for the past 10 years way to go It made us such a huge picnic pack on my views in my heart way to go I love reading this Grace says no parent Can fulfill every need to their children no matter how educated or experienced. They are harvell hindricks exactly all right How's your personal question? How's your new relationship going? So, um So i'm going to wrap up on this everybody Thank you mentioned everybody that I met someone during a trip to chicago. I live in los angeles She's actually in town here visiting her Daughter and her son and we're going to see each other on wednesday or thursday, I believe Uh and spend a few days together. We're going out to Dinner with my good friends You know, this is a challenging thing when you do a long-distance relationship and while we're having many talks with each other from a very Grounded emotionally mature place It's still a logistic Challenge and while I don't know if this is going to work out. I don't know if it's even going to I'm going to see her After this trip. I have no idea All I know is I'm learning a lot about myself in this experience. I'm learning not to get I have a propensity to get needy I have a propensity to get impatient and i'm learning and our communication styles are quite a bit different with one another So i'm learning um And I think our love languages are different than one other So i'm learning to witness how I feel In this dynamic without getting attached to the outcome So i'm operating from a place of being as open and receptive as possible and not attached to the outcome And so while i'm not a big proponent of living purely in the moment of having Looking downstream what we both agreed to with each other is to just experience this for what's happening this week And then take it from there Again, we might not ever see each other. That's a strong possibility or it might turn into something I will say logistically. It is a complicated situation and i'm not so certain that that might not be the downfall But the same time whether it works out with her or not What matters most is life is a journey. It's not a destination And so the only all I can do is be vulnerable authentic and transparent and most importantly transparent with her Um, I don't have to be overly vulnerable But I want to be as authentic and transparent with her as possible because that's at least in my purview what matters most And so to answer your question, I think that'll do it. Uh, so thank you so much for that. Um, By the way, we've got a spammer here. So I'm trying to block this person. Uh, all right Jade asked the same question personal question relationship for dating. How long does one date before it's called a relationship and at what point? um I'll end on this note By the way, the coffee mug says let that shit go um personally, I believe when two people decide to Have sex on a regular basis with each other. Well, we'll go through my dating vows This would be a perfect example when two people decide to have sex with one another I've said this my dating vows. I'll post it in the description when I wrap up Have you ever heard the saying women are the gatekeepers of sex and men are the gatekeepers of commitment? The dating vow is an agreement two people say to one another So if you're going to have sex with one another before you have sex you agree To explore the process of getting to know each other with the intent to declare something serious within three to six months It agrees to be monogamous while sex while being sexual with one another if you're having regular sex together It's an agreement to not actively seek or meet others While you're in the dating process include taking down your profiles Again, if you're going to explore a sexual relationship, then these are some of the things It's an agreement to speak up if it isn't working Versus pulling back ghosting or disappearing and lastly It's an agreement to Invest regular time in the process of getting to know one another Now 90 percent of men will most likely reject this because they're more interested in the sexual piece than the romantic piece but ultimately if you're making this agreement It's with the idea that you're exploring a relationship And that's my invitation for everyone. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating? Please let me know Post a comment. If you love hey, if you like the content from this video, please like this video right now Please share this with your friends. If you haven't subscribed yet, please subscribe to my channel If you want some support check out the links to my group called midlife love mastery Follow me on instagram Schedule a discovery call with me purchase the books. I recommend because these the things I recommend hopefully are changing your life Gail ask what's your age? I'm you know what I identify with 49 This is my I don't have pronouns. I just identify with being 49 All right Glenn says amen. Talia says amen Um Renee says be your own person of your own dreams. If you love yourself and your company, he will seek you to no chasing amen Jade says already liked Glenn says we rub you. Thank you so much. All right. I think this would be a great place to wrap up today Folks from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for the love and support. I really appreciate you I hope I'm making a difference in your life I invite you all to spread the word of all the books I recommend and if my channel If you think it can make a difference in someone's life, then please recommend this video to someone I'm hoping that I can open up consciousness in a way to Individually empower people to take responsibility of their own lives and be in charge of their relationship destiny All right, I'm going to sign off this video as I always do first off give myself a big gigantic jothen barack of self love I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm going to ask you to turn to someone a pet a teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives I want to thank glenn and kelly and rebecca and debbie and andrea and angie and mary t and uh Rename am and renee jay and grace and uh talia and gale and uh mary t and uh, alexandra and uh Laurie everyone. Thank you so much wishing you a fabulous day. Take care. Bye now