 Impostor syndrome, I can probably hear your inner monologue around it. Yeah, like I just said, I feel lucky, yeah, but you also feel like, why me? Like, there was some kids that were super talented in high school that went to school for acting and did all the things and they did everything and you're like, wait, you're doing all this. Are you really good? Right, but you know, I'm sure you've learned or figured out by now, a lot of it's just your face and body. Yes, very true. Talent's fine. It's so true. If you want to have the same amount of talent and I look like this and you look like that, you're going to book Camacho and you're just going to book more shit because you, as when I direct, it's like when I cut to someone, the audience needs to feel a certain way in a split second. Yeah. With you, they're like, if I'm low-angle, he's menacing, he's mean, he's silly, he's whatever. Yeah. Yeah, you cut to me like, I don't know. So a lot of it is, so it's impostor syndrome, but have you ever cast anything? No, no. What's interesting is, I almost would, it would be an interesting exercise. I always want people to come, if I'm just casting a commercial and I'll go, come watch, come watch these 90 people. Wow. And you just go, nope, nope, okay. Nope. It's all a feeling. It's a feeling they give you. But it's mostly just physical. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of it's just kind of modeling in a weird way. Yeah, but you're saying it's too much put on talent. You have to be talented. Right. But when people say, I know I'm talented, you can know you're, I'm talented. I look like what I look like. You're not going to, you're going to cast me as a jerk or a boss or a drug addict. That's just what it is, guys. Wow. You know what I mean? Dude, first of all, butt cheek buoy. Right there. The Neil Brandt butt cheek system. And it's just, most of it's physical. Dude, I, you're not going to be cast as a 22 year old. But see, this is the thing I remember. This is, I had a crisis and this was bad. Oh, everybody hates Chris while we were shooting this whole thing. And I remember saying the lines and I was just like, I don't, I'm not believable. Dude, I doubted everything I was doing. It was around a third season and we only did four, but around the beginning of the third, I was like, you know how there were things where I could, when I did the movie White Chicks, I felt every word. I knew I was like, it was knocking it out the park. You also worship white women. We all know that. That's why the part worked. It was, it was, it was excellent. Okay. I knew it. But at the same time, when I was doing that first two years, I was like, okay, I'm getting better. But then there was a moment I was just going, I don't, I'm not, I'm not good. I'm not good at this. And I was horrified. Like, I thought everybody was going to see it. I thought everyone was going to notice. I remember asking my wife, she was like, no, it looks great. What are you talking about? But I was like, I don't believe it. I thought she was lying. And then you start to feel like everyone is just pandering. And it was like that for a long time. And that imposter syndrome is a big, big block. I mean, even now, I'm hosting America's Got Talent and I'm out there and it's live and the whole thing. But, you know, I'm big. I'm a big personality. And I like being like, hello, everybody. I love that. I like walking in a room. What's up? Hey, because this is the thing. Attention is the hardest thing to get. Like, you know, if I walk in like, hey, everybody, how you doing? Some people can do that. I can't do that. Because people are like, they're still doing their crosswords. They're still looking over here and they're still doing it. I'm like, yo, I want that. If that's what the mission is, you know, I want to get that. But then I get, you know, you look and maybe look at some tweet or something like, he's so loud. It's too loud. And why is he yelling? You have a mic and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm yelling. I'm yelling too much. And maybe I never was supposed to do this. And it's so crazy how it'll creep up. And I've been doing it for five years. Yeah. I mean, it's the only, I say it's the only talent where you wake up and go, I don't think I can do it. And I don't think airline pilots would go like, I can't fly planes. I can't. I don't understand. I'm a doctor. I don't even know what a scalpel is. That is exactly. You go and it's like every time you do it, you're starting from the beginning. Yeah. Get back in line. Get back in line. Great. Get back in line. That's exactly it. And you feel like it's the first time you've ever done it. And you go, why can't these lines? Why did I say that? And then you start redoing what, you know, what you did or the audition process or whatever. And you're like, you know, there's times I've totally mucked up an audition. And then I go in the car after the audition is over and do the thing for like two hours by myself. Yep. Just so I can do it. It's sad I can do it. But it's, it's a waste of time. And it's so ridiculous. But this is the stuff we go through. But I feel like I, again, I could be did wrong. I feel like you prepare a lot. I do. That, which I, that to me is the best. It's the antidote for kind of every malady that we face as performers. Cause like, if you prepare, you're not, you're, you're not going to be nervous. You're just going to be like, no, I'm just going to run this system that I've been preparing. I prepare so much, you know, that my wife, she told me, I think you have a learning disability. Because what I would do is write my lines. Shout out to wives. Yeah. She, yeah. This is one reason why I'm so messed up. But she said, I think you have a learning disability. I mean, cause I would fill notebooks. I mean, with just my lines and I would rewrite them so I knew them and I could rewrite them. I had the same system. Use it. And I mean, fill pack. It looks like little really like a Jack Nicholson and the whole thing. Like it's just all work. I know a boy makes Jack a little boy and I have full of old lines and it just gets, and she's like, something's wrong here. You did all of it. I can't be unprepared. I can't feel like nothing worse than walking on set and feeling like you don't know what's happening. Yeah. And you, and you're the problem. Yeah. I don't want to do that. And that's another thing as I've realized, I can't wing it. I can't wing it. And I don't know if I've said this on, I might have said it on Keenan Thompson's podcast, but when there was a Mark Twain tribute for Chappelle, right? And it's like John Stewart and, and Aziz and heavy hitters, right? Sarah Silverman and most definitely all these people. Wow. And, and I did and Joest and Che and Keenan and all these guys and I did arguably the best. And when I got off Keenan goes, how did you do that? And I go, I tried. And it was the first time I ever really like prepped it. Yeah. Had a thing prepped, prepped, prepped, prepped in my, they're all doing stuff. I'm literally going over a teleprompter on my computer. Yep. Like kind of rudimentary shit. Yeah. And I think a lot of people wanted to be cool because Dave's cool. And I'm like, I've been around Dave long enough to know like it's a different system. Yep. He is cool. He can wing it. He's the only one. Yeah. I really, it's like not like someone's like he just can do it. I can't. So I'm not going to pretend I can and I can just smell that on you like all over like just over prepped over. Yep. And then prep on top of that. Oh wait. And you know what the nightmare is working with somebody who's like loosey-goosey. Yep. I'm like, I had this whole thing prepared and you're a square. You're a bitch in a square. Oh dude, I come in and be like, please say, say the line like it's supposed to be said because you just said something totally different. Yep. And I'm going, will the director come in and tell this guy to say a shit? Yeah. And I'm, and that's the point where you get too into everyone else. Yep. And that's where that imposter syndrome is. Why do I need to study so much? What's wrong with me? Do, is my wife correct? The person who knows me in the most of the world. Oh no. Do I have a learning disability? I don't. Should I quit? And did I get mad? Because I tell her. I'm like, I don't. I just like to be prepared. She's like, no, no. There's something wrong with you. Fine. I'm a learning disability. What's embarrassing for me is I'm just starting to understand that I need to do it. Like I did, I have a new show, did it in New York and wasn't prepared enough. And it was good. But I really, I had taken three weeks off. I hadn't done the show in three weeks and I was like, no, it's in me. And then it was like, I spent the whole time trying to remember it. And I was like, I have to spit, take two hours. Anytime I do a show, at least two that day to just memorize it. We're brothers. Yeah. Because I'm trying to tell you that's, that's me. I can't. I just started Terry. Terry, I'm talking about it's August this or it's September. This is in like June where I'm like idiot. Take the lesson from Twain. Take the lesson from it. So I take, I get my fucking crazy notebook. Yep. And I, and I imagine it yesterday. So I do a show Saturday and at the comedy store had a new joke that I didn't try because it wasn't memorized enough. And then I'm going to do it tomorrow. Today's Monday. Long story short, I spent 20 minutes yesterday just writing, memorizing it. There you go. Just like in a down moment on a Sunday, cool people are smoking weed. Right. Party and swimming. Amen. I never got these people on set. They're talking. Yeah. Like what are you doing? So what are you doing tomorrow? I'm going to do I am studying my freaking line. Yeah. Listen, this is so weird. I have to have my sides in my pocket to say my lines correctly. It's weird. If my sides aren't in my pocket, I feel like I don't know them. Yeah. And it's strange because I'm not looking at them, but I just have to know they're on me. Yeah. And all of a sudden I can, I can vision the lines and vision the other thing, but if the sides are somewhere I don't have them on me, I don't know the seat. Well, I'm also talking about meeting yourself where you are. Yeah. Like, all right. So, so what? See, I need the sides. Yeah. So. Yes. But it's hard to do. It's hard to accept like and you feel like am I, do I have OCD? Do I have you start judging what you have? I've been doing this 20 over 25 years. I should be able to wing everything right now. Yeah. And you see actors that have been doing it and they can just look at a script once and toss it. I've seen that. Can't not do it. Not who I am. Not me. I've heard stories like Sam Jackson just doing whole monologues. Just like, got it. Yeah. Oh, why can't I do that? I can't do this. I can't. I'm not that dude. I got to spend like two weeks with it and have the whole thing open for it. I what I do is keep scripts open and leave it there for a month and just kind of open. You know, if it's a movie or whatever and I just go and just constantly look at it over and over and over. Then I'll be able to write it without even looking and I know what's going on to this. I'm not. Yeah, but it's your love that you have to accept that that's your system. But but that's where that imposter syndrome. Yeah. But and then once you learn it, then I can improvise. Yeah. Yeah. Then I can like have fun. But I don't I'm going to be somebody one time said I think Bill William H Macy told a buddy money is like when you see actors like taking serious moments, a lot of times they're just trying to remember what they're supposed to say. That sounds really good. And like I'm not trying to be like and me, whether it's stand up or whatever, I just have to accept what my body and brain need to do. I love that about you, Neil. This is good. Thanks to her. No, we're brothers. Thanks so much. This is good. Tell me about your imposter syndrome. My experience of you it's you earned. You didn't get any breaks that I'm aware of steps. Yeah. Yeah. So why the imposter syndrome? Because I mean, you know, you be around your heroes. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like you're handling it pretty well. Two specials changed the game. That's true though. Like you like somebody like you, you know, y'all you created the pal show. You know what I mean? Like so it's like you never quite feel like you fit in until you have conversations with people like yourself or other people that I admire. And they've never quite fit in either. You know what I mean? Well, that's the other thing is your like appeal is they were baseball year like a knuckleball thrower. Explain. I hate me. I used to love it better when everybody was throwing. You're like if there was a lineup of people, I wouldn't go yellow. He'll be the most successful black radio person. Got you. I just just I just be like, I don't know. Like maybe him, I'd be on your BMI list of like because you're funny, but you don't lead with it. You're smart, but you don't leave it. It's everything sneaky. You know what I mean? You're like it's like everything sort of off speed and kind of like, oh, by the way, like I'm sure when you started getting a lot of hits on YouTube, I'm sure the radio station was like, I never paid enough. It's a crazy part is I never I always knew that I always said I want to be one of the biggest radio personality in the country. When I started in 1998, that was my mindset. I want to be the big one of the biggest radio personality in the country compared to the Howard Stearns, the Angie Martinez, Wendy Williams, the people, you know, Tom Joyner, Doug Banks, God bless the dead, like those individuals. I knew I wanted to be in that realm. When we started Breakfast Club, I told him being Angela, we're going to be syndicated, right? I knew that, but I've always been the type person just to bury my head in the work. Like I don't pay attention to any of it. So when I do peek my head out and realize like what's going on, it's like, oh, shit. Well, okay, how do you how can you kind of will something like that and have imposter syndrome? I just knew, but that doesn't mean be. Why did you think you would be the chemistry or like? Well, no, but think of the difference, right? Knowing that you're going to be successful at something still doesn't mean you feel like you deserve to have it or you belong in that position. You just know. But sometimes you can get in those positions and be like, I don't deserve none of this shit, Joe. If these motherfuckers only knew, you know, what did you see coming? Do you know what I mean? Like when you said we're going to be syndicated, tell me why you thought that. I just knew. I knew the success I was having in radio, you know, I can't even call it success. I got fired four times. Right, that's what I'm saying. You know what I'm saying? I had gotten fired four times, but every time I got fired, I got, I got, I failed up. Like I got put in a better position. So on this fourth time I got fired from radio in Philadelphia doing mornings back home, living with my mom. When I got the gig for breakfast club, I knew we were going to be successful because I had been watching Envy, you know, online with, when he was at Hot 97 and Power 105 and on Shade 45. Same thing with Angelie. I was watching her on Shade 45. I had guest co-hosted on Angelie Shade 45 show. So I just knew us three together. If we did what we always have done and what we all were co-host, so I knew that would work. And if we utilized the internet the way that, you know, we all were individually, we would have some type of success. And I just was looking at the game. I'm like, yo, there's no, this lane is wide open. Yeah. Well, that's, it was definitely wide open. Like if we're not, if it's not us, that's going to end up being syndicated than who? Yeah. You know, because at the time there was no, you guys seem like younger than everybody. And that too. That's very true. Cause I mean, at the time, Tom Joyner was kind of making his transition, you know, and there really was nothing. The lane was wide open. It was just there for the taking. So I just knew what we were supposed to do. We were going to have success. And so then it becomes being with I heart, being that I heart likes to syndicate shows. When you got fired. Did you think like, yeah, I deserve that. You were right to fire me. Yeah. No. Yeah. I never thought about it. It was just like, damn, again. Like I thought that was the way, you know who used to say that shit? Don L. Ross. Don L. Rollins used to say, if you've been fired three times in radio, you're a star. He's kind of right. Yeah. Yeah. So when it happened the first time, I didn't, I didn't know of Don Elton. It happened the second time. I didn't know of non Elton. When it happened the third time with Wendy, you know, I had started to know Don L. And I remember him saying that because he was doing his radio thing. Yeah. And I remember saying like, damn, but when the start, I'm going to happen. So when I got fired the fourth time, I'm like, well, shit, I must have been fired twice. I was like, man, I must be way, way overdue. And then I remember going to see him when we first started doing brothers club. He was at Caroline's and he said that on stage. He said he had a whole joke about when you've been fired three times from radio, you become a star. And he was like, man, when they fired you from radio, you know, you just gone. It go from power to five one. I mean, God, Angela E. DJ Envy to power to five one. DJ Envy, Angela E. And it's like it is. They just erased you. And actually it was funny, but he was right. Yeah. You know. So I forgot the question. Yeah. Okay. Well, here's the here. I'll rephrase the question. What do you think your shortcomings are? When you are, when you are. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. What do you, I started realizing imposter syndrome after I started going to therapy and then I started backtracking and then that made me realize why I felt the way I felt in so many moments. You know what I mean? Like when people talk about a over compensation, you know what I mean? I can go back and look at certain moments where I was acting a certain way, being a certain way because I was over compensating for my shortcomings and creating the whole character of a shalameen, you know, the God, creating that character was to deflect from Lennard. You know what I mean? Maybe if I'm over here. You're really in Lennard, McKellie. That's right. So maybe if I'm over here being this big boisterous loud, I don't give a fuck personality that nobody will pay attention to. What's funny is you're not that big and boisterous and loud. Yeah. Well back then people might say otherwise. You know what I mean? But back then it's like, let me protect them from this person that inside of me is shrinking in the corner. Got it. You know what I mean? That's why you never used to go nowhere. I've historically never gone anywhere. Yeah. You know what I mean? Back then we would, you know, go to the clubs and stuff, but should I have to get licked up and high out of my mind? You know what I mean? To show up. Just to get over the anxiety of it? Absolutely. And so it's like take that lifestyle, getting up, getting drunk, getting high, going out every night, then going right on the radio in the morning. So it's like all that wild shit. Not blaming it all on that. But a lot of that wild shit was because we was really living that lifestyle. All of us were. Me and me and Angela. We was all drunk high out of our minds, coming on the air, saying whatever, doing whatever, you know, talking to people, however. Okay. How did you get over the imposter syndrome? Oh man. Now that's interesting. I thought, like I said, I started therapy in 2016. I don't think I got over imposter syndrome until December of 2019. But how do you know the dates so well? Cause you know, when you, when you start realizing it's when you, this is when you brought COVID-19 from China, America, and you finally got over here. I do have a lot of a, I guess, imposter syndrome. No, yeah, I haven't even gotten to the block shit. Are those words behind my head? Yes. Yeah, there they are. Hit it. Hit it well. This guy's got, first of all, give them a weird, just give them ding weird. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. And then give them, let's start with imposter syndrome cause that is, that's one of your blocks and I can, I, not like, I believe it, you should, but it's a, it's like a niche that not a lot of people. Really? Cause I kind of feel like most people, particularly in entertainment, with the exception of Kanye, have it at some point or another. You know, I just kind of imagine, maybe, maybe I'm, I'm projecting my anxiety on everybody else. But I really feel like, you know, it's not, I'm, and this is not false humility. I don't want to say that I think I'm talented or I'm not funny, but there are a lot of talented, funny people in the world and why me? You know, I've, I've, you know, like we talked about, I was a nerdy kid with an accordion. By all accounts, I should not have had the life and career that I've had. I feel very fortunate and blessed, but it just feels very, very odd to me that, you know, every morning I wake up in a beautiful house with a beautiful wife. I'm doing David Burnler lyrics now, but you get, you get the point. So what do you, what do you make of it? Do you just think it's like the songs are funny? Like the songs are unequivocally funny, but the, is it just like you got in a jet stream, you providing a service culturally and no one really replaced you? Even, even people like Lonely Island or like they did, they, they don't do parodies. I guess they kind of did a few parodies. Kind of like genre parodies, things like that. But I feel like you were doing specific song parodies, which did that exist in much before you? Well, I mean, I certainly didn't invent it. I mean, our national anthem was a song parody. Is it really? It is. Yeah. And, you know, Alan Sherman, who I was one of my all-time heroes, he of course did a lot of song parodies, although most of his parodies were public domain and old folk songs like that. So, you know, I just came in at a good time. I guess I'd be what Malcolm Gladwell would call an outlier because they just struck it exactly the right time. I, I got signed like right when MTV started. They needed content. They didn't have any funny videos and all of a sudden there was this guy that was making these low budget comedy parodies and like that fed their content stream. And do you, do you feel like you have a good showbiz sense? Cause you always had a look. You always were like. It's not being meditated though. It's not calculated. It's not like, oh, I'll wear Hawaiian shirts and glasses on a mustache and that's going to be like the iconic look, you know. Yeah, but you were either weird enough or confident enough to not try to change yourself. Yeah. Cause I was so out of the box anyway. I mean, it's like, you know, I just had to go with my gut and just go with my actual personality instead of trying to fit some kind of mold because like from the, from the get go, I wasn't fitting any mold whatsoever. So I figured why bother you wore Hawaiian shirts. Yeah. I like, I like loud shirts, ridiculous shirts and, you know, one tour early on, I figured that I should have one ridiculous request on my backstage writer, like, you know, the renum and ms or whatever. And I said, give me one like garish, loud Hawaiian shirt for every show that I do. And they did like 200 shows that year. So I all of a sudden I had a closet full of Hawaiian shirts. Have you bought, do you now people probably send them to you? Yeah, I get them, you know, from, from fans and I just, you know, they just appear on my doorstep. Great. Wonderful. Must be nice. Yeah, it is. Um, all right. So the imposter syndrome, what's nice about getting to a point in your career, I'm getting to the point where I'm like, I can just about get the fuck out of here. Mm hmm. Like the imposter syndrome, I can be like, okay, I was an imposter and I got away with it. Like, I feel like when you get to a point where you could just be like, I'm retiring or something and you don't need to worry about being, yeah, you don't need, yes, you don't need to worry about being an imposter. I'm approaching the finish line now. You're getting away with the jewels. Yeah. On your, on your speedboat. So what I'm saying is retire. Um, no, but what I'm, do you know what I mean? Like, even to this day, like, you know, I, I have moments in my life where I really, I told a story on, on Seth's show, but uh, Seth Myers, uh, but I told about, like on this last chore, uh, I played Carnegie Hall, which I'd never played before in my life. And it was a big deal for me. I mean, you know, Carnegie Hall. Uh, and, uh, you know, I, I talked myself, uh, into not being nervous about it because, you know, something I'd wanted to do my whole life and, uh, I, it was the end of a long six month tour and was like, it's just I would like to interrupt and say that someone I know saw your show in the nineties and said it was one of the best shows you ever saw. Oh, nice. Yes. Heath Seifert was his name and he said, he saw you at, at Universal in Orlando. Nice. There was like a adult island and that you didn't show that paradise something so no longer there, I'm sure. Yes. No, don't look for it. Okay. Um, yeah. So great show anyway. So yeah. So, um, so I finally show up at Carnegie Hall and I'm trying not to be nervous about it. Just another show, just another show and I walked on the hall and there's like Florida ceiling pictures of, you know, thanks to Nautra and Judy Garland and the Beatles and I'm thinking, okay, I don't belong here. What am I doing here? But you know, some of them didn't either. Well, you don't think? Well, not, you know, I don't, I don't even feel, I don't even feel like I deserve to be on this show honestly because I looked at some people that you've had on and even to be mentioned the same breath as stevo. I mean, it really. I mean, what an honor. It really is. Am I right folks? Um, good. I didn't know who you were going to say and you, you picked a funny one. Thank you. Yeah. But I guess it's you did it is how I feel is like, I don't know, man. Are we done? Can we do this? No, Steve, Steve, please. Um, you must have, you must have done something is would, would be my argument with the imposter syndrome in your head. I must have done something. You must have done something yet. Right. Yeah. Like, like, like I said, I'm not saying that like, you know, I, I entirely don't deserve it because I do feel like, you know, I bring joy to some people. Yeah. And uh, some, some, not all, I, I'm on social media. I know I don't bring joy to all people. You're no Steve. Oh, I know. Go ahead. Um, but no, I mean, um, yeah, I've done a few things right in my life, but again, uh, I'm just very grateful because I kind of deep down aside, I kind of feel like I just kind of don't deserve the life that I've been lucky enough to have. Hey, did you like that? Did you like that? Yeah. Did you like it though? You want more don't want to work would rather watch videos of me grab acid with people. First of all, go up here to subscribe and then go up here to watch more clips. This is like when the weatherman says there's a high pressure system coming in a little. I'm not really used to the green screen.