 The panel, the discussion, an objective and impartial view of the issues of interest to you. Nation Beat is on now. Hi and welcome to Nation Beat, a production of the Government Information Service and NTN. I am your host Kendall Eugene. So today we have the pleasure of sitting with the three-time Queen's Commonwealth Essay Competition National Awardee. Cadizia Holliday, good afternoon. Good afternoon. And Cadizia is currently studying clinical psychology and her essays, which we are going to listen to in a few minutes, have earned her and our beautiful island cold awards. Cadizia, welcome. Thank you. Let's chat a little bit about you before we get into the essays, which I am sure a lot of our listeners and viewers will be most interested in not only listening to but hearing how you recite your spoken word. And I really call it a talent to be able to write, but not only write, but recite what is written in a powerful way to get a reaction from your reader, your listener. It's a massive talent, but we'll come to that in a while. Who is Cadizia Holliday? Well, I'm currently 21 years old. I'm studying in the U.S. right now in Oberlin College, which is a small liberal arts college. I'm studying in addition to psychology, creative writing as well. My hopes are that I will become a clinical psychologist in the future and a professional writer. But my writing journey began at a very young age. I usually begin a lot of interviews when people ask me, how did I begin with the small anecdote that I began writing at a very, very young age. I fell in love with woods at a very, very young age. My childhood years were spent going to school for eight hours and then coming home to read for another eight. And after reading book after book, I had the epiphany that I didn't need to always be the one being inspired. I could be the one doing the inspiring. I was a very interesting child. I had a lot of tangible collections. But one of the collections that I, I guess, rarely speak about because it's not so tangible was my collection of woods. I've always had like this extreme, I would say, very peculiar fascination with woods. I loved adding words to my vocabulary. I love sounding out loud advanced words for my age. And that was not a collection or an obsession. I would say that left whilst I was in primary school, a secondary school that still continues to this day. I have a very strange relationship with woods. And I think that that is something that does continue to fuel my passion for writing today. Kalizha, in all my years interviewing, this is the first time someone has told me they have a strange collection of woods. It's like a fascination of learning a new word every day. I would get half a collection of poems and a collection of books, but never a collection of woods. That book you started writing in, do you still have it to this day? I have, yeah, I have all of my books. Oh, books? Yeah. Yeah, I have several journals and notebooks at home. I've never thrown out a book that I've used for writing. Why do you think you have such a fascination with learning new woods? I'm not too sure. I haven't been the most neurotypical child, neurotypical person on a whole actually. But there's this phenomenon called synesthesia where people actually... It's a very strange thing to describe. I'm probably not doing it justice here, but people experience other additional sensations when they're doing something that is not necessarily connected to it. So for example, some people might have a color associated with a specific word or a taste associated with something else. So for me, I don't know how it started, but I've had this sort of taste since I was very young, associated with sounding out different words and sounding out different vowels. So words like... I'll give you an example. Please. One of my favorite words is enigmatic. Not just because it's a fancy word, I don't know how else to describe it, but it just feels right to me. Another word is surreptitious. Excuse me? Surreptitious. Surreptitious. Yes, so clandestine. So I would just pronounce words growing up just for the fun of it. And right now, I do engage in so many different types of creative writing, but my favorite is spoken wood. And spoken wood incorporates actually paying attention to rhythm and sound and actual performance. And that is my favorite avenue of creative writing for an array of different reasons, but that particularly is one of those reasons. I get to be in a space where I'm doing what I love, but I'm also not just doing what I love because of any aim of inspiring, but also because I just love pronouncing words and articulating my words in addition to connecting with people. I saw that in your very first video that you presented for the essay competition, the Queen's Commonwealth Essay Competition. And when you read out your essay, before that I was used to individuals reading out poems. And when I heard she has essays, I was like, oh cool, let me listen to her. And when you read it out, it's almost like you were reading a poem, but you enjoyed it. You enjoyed bringing it out to the listening and viewing public. Is that what you mean when you say you like sounding out your words and you fall in love with what you do? Yes, definitely. If you were to ask anybody I went to school with to describe me, people probably say I'm a writer, but most people would say quiet, which is very true. I'm a very, very introverted person. Very, very reserved to a very extreme, but that has strangely enough never affected me performing my poetry on stage. It has not affected my spoken word performance because when I get on stage, actually the moment from me leaving the audience to walking onto the stage, I feel like anxiety and nervousness, but from the moment I begin my poem to the moment I end my poem within that space, it's almost like I'm inhabiting the words that I'm performing, I'm speaking, I'm connecting with, like, I embody the message, the sounds that I am speaking. So, yeah, that definitely is some of it. All right. Well, I think it's time we allow our viewers to at least listen to your first poem. Okay. Now, before I ask you anything about that first poem, we are going to all watch it together. We're going to listen and then we'll talk about it. Is that okay? Yes. That's all right. Okay. So, let's check out her very first poem, the one that brought her her first gold award in the Queens Commonwealth Essay Competition. Hello, my name is Khadija Haldi and this is the piece that I submitted for the 2018 Queens Commonwealth Essay Competition. The title is The Road to a Safer Future. I believe that The Road to a Safer Future is not paved with pretentious pronouncements. Neither is it laid by the passing of new laws, nor the skyscraping of highways of new leaders cemented in public pretenses. I believe that we have spent centuries cruising along the sidewalk to the road that leads to a safer future. Pulverizing innocent pebbles, cup-sizing free-thinking flower pots, yelling antagonistic apologies for the dirt left behind. I believe that on The Road to a Safer Future it is ironic increasingly so that we focus the majority of our energy on the external commotion of traffic. The colours of the paints that colour each vehicle continuously choosing to disregard the blatant fact that we all innately carry the exact same fuel. I believe that the lone pedestrians trudging along at the edge of The Road to a Safer Future are judged by their poverty and seldom by the vehicles that we rob from them by our reluctance to offer a ride. I believe that we religiously regard the tracks of white and yellow marks positioned strategically along The Road, not recalling it seems to erase umbilical blueprints from past constructors and trace into The Road our own. I believe that these are the century-old propensities that protect the erroneous allegation of the unattainability of a safer future. Evidently, it shows that the issue in fact is not inconsistency, but precisely its exact opposite, consistency. A repeated repetition of the exact same concession along The Road. I believe with utmost conviction that the renovation of our routine sensitive mindsets is the only avenue to gaining ground on The Road to a Safer Future. Habitually, we address the carelessness of the drivers and seldom the stained windshields from which they look through. Mind you, on a day-to-day basis, generations of mentalities are premolded and marred in advance as per fault of the routine-based confines of the past. The Road to a Safer Future? I believe that we misinterpret the signs at its sides. For instance, the ones that read stop we completely crop out of our vision because we automatically associate stop with the direction for permanent delay when all it really is is a prompt for a moment of reflection so that we can learn from our ways. I believe that we readily embrace the word shortcut because we refuse to grasp that it's just an illusion, directly deceiving. And in the end, when we finally see it for what it really is, we take no blame and incriminate an innocent road for the dismal products of our own poor decision-making. I believe that the accidents and collisions that we get into along The Road to a Safer Future are too hastily cleaned up preventing us from absorbing the implications of the acts of speeding and disobedience and overtaking. I believe that the thousands of tragedies about aren't mere coincidences because it's at these roundabouts that we all exit from varying backgrounds and experiences and situations and we've never been sufficiently taught to exhibit patience and understanding at such intimate intersections. I believe that we seldom adhere to the rules of The Road because no one has ever sat us down and embedded the magnitudes of the fines issued as a result of rebellion and deviation. I believe that we crash into lampposts and tumbling to traffic lights because we harbor the innate, toddler-like tendency to topple off-course even in the presence of light and clear direction. I believe that the most glaring and underrated sources of lights are the lampposts located at the very beginning of The Road to a Safer Future in the form of innocence and curiosity and hope. I believe that these lights are the lights that we shield our eyes to because we've all been darkened by the tar-coating this road and the introduction of light to darkness now would be scary and unfamiliar and frightening. I believe that the real reason we fly nuclear obscenities out through the windows of our vehicles is not because we harbor hate for our fellow drivers, but because we aim to conceal the insecurity and lack of control we feel over the wheel. I believe that the real reason we wind our windows down to patronised passing drivers is not because they have persecuted us in any way but because we all have this quiet embedded fare that by the time we find The Safer Future our engines will be empty and our tanks bear. I believe that we each grow up promising to change things when we're old enough to reach the wheel and that finally when we are old enough we forget those past dreams. I believe that the scratches and nicks we receive taint us more than we can see and that no amount of paint can erase them but at least we can still believe. I believe that on this road, on this journey to safety, we are never going to simply agree. I believe that we will always drive at different speeds but I believe that the racial irrespective of individual belief or hierarchical seat or driving speed is eternally equivalent to potential and promise. I believe that the way we process the tickets we receive mentally is the key to driving more patiently in the future. I believe most of all that we can't all expect to fit into one lane. Logically it's impossible that eventually all individual lanes will lead to one junction called a safer future. The road to a safer future. 2018 Gold Award tell us about your creative space when you were writing that essay. Interestingly enough I don't remember the details but I don't really think that that's necessarily because of the distance of time but this poem was actually an interesting poem in the sense that if you listen to it, it's very, very literary and iridite language but I do remember the writing process being ironically not as difficult as it may seem once I finalized, once I decided on the concept that I wanted for it because this was the first time that I had entered the Queens Commonwealth essay competition and I remember looking at the title the title was connected to something about the road to a safer future and I just stared at that phrase the road to a safer future trying to figure out how I could make this piece creative and it just hit me to just read it at face value, the road to a safer future because I mean from at face value that prompt is calling for you to look at something more larger but I thought okay, what if I actually keep it at face value and then expand on it so for my piece I decided to look at a literal road to think about our future or at least the distance from the present to the future at a literal road and to identify various elements and signage and just aspects on a literal road like lamps and street lights and speed bumps and to sort of parallel them with more abstract things and yeah that's how that piece was born once I realized that that's the direction I wanted to go with it everything else kind of flowed out how long did it take you to get into that creative drive like get everything flowing yeah I'd like to say that there's a clear cut answer for that but there really isn't it it really depends on the type of day the time of day the state of mind for that piece ironically I would say that it's actually getting more difficult to write nowadays but I don't think that's because of the writing process itself so much as it is just life being hectic and busy and you know shrouded with life being life but I always like when I'm experiencing writer's block I'm not somebody who forces myself to sit down and make sure I get the words out I allow myself to take the break that I need and come back how important and I'm so happy you mentioned that is it for a writer to take breaks in between a project because I have a feeling that a lot of our young creatives believe that they should be churning out work and churning out work and not thinking that maybe I need to take at least a break or two how important is it I spoke to this recently in a keynote speech that I did and even like right now in creative writing I feel like there's this atmosphere in the literary world and not just an atmosphere this is what a lot of professors will tell you and writing professionals that you should have a writing journal every day you should make sure you're writing it every single day you should not let the sunset without having written at least something and if that works for some people I think that's great but personally for me that hasn't worked because with each day there are just different challenges I don't always have the same energy I don't always have the same motivation and I find that forcing myself or beating down on myself or not extending myself that grace and that compassion to allow for rest ends up doing more harm than good so personally I would advise to take a break when you need to take a rest but always return so it's not that I'm saying it's okay to give up but I'm saying it's okay to rest it's okay to take a pause but at the end of the day return to your work and see what comes out so important that you're saying that especially with how influences have taken over the social media space and most of them would give their advice and I have heard quite a few give the advice of if you sleep you lose out on life if you sleep you miss out on this and that but not remembering that sleep is actually you resetting your body you're getting that recharge that you so richly deserve we have two more essays to listen to and we're going to do that right after the break and when we come back we're going to find out a little bit more about your inspirations I'm very curious to know who inspires you as the creators so after the break we'll come back we'll have a chat with Cadizia she is of course the three time queen she is a common world essay competition a national awardee and today we are very pleased to have her in our presence this is Nation Beat we'll be back after this oi you have realized you step on my toe we'll do something about it gasai bussindaman hola if somebody try to cross you and a matting start to take you no need for our all violence cause the police is there to help you if our troubles start in this session hola it is so strange seeing my cartoon form in a commercial and that's what I just saw a while ago looking at me be like oh look it's me I'm here with the Cadizia holiday welcome back to Nation Beat production of the government information service and NTN Cadizia is our three time queen's common world essay competition national awardee when she told me her the title I had to applaud her because I am still practicing remembering that mouthful and you've done you do it like it's clockwork Cadizia I don't think I said congratulations no that's bad that's horrible congratulations on winning and making our island also proud and we enjoy boosting our awardees any time we get ok however we hardly know who inspires our winners who inspires the awardees and how do they get to where they are so tell us a little bit about your inspiration before we jump into our second essay ok well despite the obsession that I told you about with Woods with Woods there was also I think a lot of writers turned to writing for self expression which is valid and makes sense but for me also writing helped me escape a deep pit that I thought I wouldn't be able to come out mentally when I was younger so I turned to writing sort of as an escape a means of catharsis some of most of the spoken word that I do is actually centered about mental health advocacy which is something else that I'm very passionate about so I merge my writing, my creative writing with my mental health advocacy which birthed the creation of a vision of myself online called Ash Speaks I have a YouTube channel which is dedicated to that I guess in general I would say emotion but I'm a very introverted person so despite my own journey with mental illness and mental health struggles I'm somebody who's very observant and very very sensitive and I found myself from a very young child observing and being the one that was listening rather than talking so there was a lot that I picked up on or thought that I picked up on and interpreted and being someone who was not very easily comfortable with people in social settings and I didn't have the largest pool of friends I would turn to my own journals as a means of processing what I was seeing or what I was interpreting or what I was feeling and that continues to be definitely continues to be something today I do continue to use my writing particularly on Instagram I use my Instagram page sort of as this diary that I allow the public to see and my idea with that is I'm not really sure how to put it into words but I've always found it very freeing to be vulnerable in a public space once my words will package in some form of creative writing so I like to say that Ash which is Ash Speaks is the unmasked version of Cadizia Holiday because Ash Speaks allows me to write creatively but in a public space and yeah just generally the idea of connecting with people because connection is something that I'm very passionate about but it's kind of been hard for me as someone who's been very introverted but I find that people of course welcome vulnerability and for me vulnerability is only possible when I'm writing so having this sort of online space this online platform that allows me to be vulnerable, allows me to connect allows me to focus and and advocate for healing and in advocating for my own healing I also advocate for others healing and well that's one of the primary reasons that I want to be a clinical psychologist I want to continue this sort of work but more in a professional sense now alright we're going to listen to your second essay now Family, Community, Nation, Commonwealth that one I had to listen to it twice okay I can honestly say if they ask me to choose which one I really like the most or put a favorite I'll not put it 1, 2, 3 but I'll say yeah this one is a facelift of mine alright just because of the character I met in that essay so let's take a listen to that one and like we did with the first we'll come back and chat a little bit about it Hello my name is Khadija Halliday and I attend Sir Arthur Lewis Community College this piece that I'm about to perform was the piece that I submitted to last year's 2019 annual International Queens Essay Commonwealth Competition the topic that I chose was Family, Community, Nation, Commonwealth what are our opportunities for shared sustainable growth the title of my piece is I am Tiny but I am Hope Hope, get down from there I startle and look up at momma for a bit merely grinning toothily I decide to not listen I continue in my attempts to climb the mountainous front desk my hands making somewhat of a sticky mess on the walls of the desk as I do so this most definitely isn't the first time that I am attempting to climb this front desk we'll visit the hospital frequently and yes each time I giggle as the desk groans upon my arrival but I don't think it really mines the lady at the front desk sure doesn't neither does momma she stops me when she realizes that I'm about to hurt myself usually that is sometimes when she's busy filling out piles of papers or talking to the lady at the front desk or arguing in hush tones over the phone I fall but I'm learning and all consequences have actions that's what momma says as she hurriedly with a protective gentleness puts me off and blows a raspberry on my cheek I don't mind the learning even in those moments when salty rivulets are trickling down the rise of my cheeks I am tiny but I am big and that's why I continue to climb hope commonwealth this however brings me to a halt commonwealth is my second name but momma only uses it when she needs me to listen momma doesn't wait for me to get down on my own she swoops in and carries me away from whatever danger she believes I was in the sudden whooshing movement tickles my insides and escapes in the happy form of bubbles of laughter momma looks down sternly at me but her right side of her face too tickles with young laughter that's enough learning for today she decides but not with any harshness I am not upset I understand that momma wants the best for me and that momma has to protect me and that momma named me hope first because that is what I am first to her hope misnation the lady at the desk calls momma immediately looks up to her name and gives the lady with a smile as we are given the indication to head on momma's soft smile probably seems soothing to the lady but I feel the strain of it momma takes my sticky hand in hers completely unbothered by the sticky mess I'm making together we walk by now my own two feet know the path by heart but momma never lets go of my hand momma never lets go mom momma greets quietly as we meet grandma in the next waiting room I can feel my face stretching to beam as grandma opens her large beckoning arms wide for me I rush in eagerly albeit clumsily but she stabilizes me grandma stabilizes me despite having taken my first steps a few years ago grandma insists that I'm still learning to walk momma agrees with her I want to as well but I'm still understanding grandma hugs like a community that's what momma says and momma's smart real smart she has her own stethoscope and it's real not like the toy ones I have I swear but momma says that none of her smartness matters in fact momma says that sometimes she doesn't feel so smart in less kind words when she's speaking to grandma alone and thinks that I can't hear it doesn't matter that she's doctor nation at her fancy meetings the ones in which she dresses up in her fancy suits that she lets me wear sometimes for fun momma says that none of that matters her true safety net is her mom and grandma hugs like a community so it makes sense to me I love momma her smartness and her protect me but I also love and need what momma got grandma the warm yummy feeling that her hugs give I need that feeling as we approach the familiar giant door grandma pauses for the tiniest bit before touching the door note it's tiny but I notice it I'm tiny but I notice things grandma looks at me and softens her face teasingly sticking out her tongue at me I giggle and stick my own out but behind me momma's shallow breathing reminds me of what grandma is trying to distract me from they think they're protecting me they don't want to expose me to the scary monsters of the world I'm tiny but I think and I think that I need to meet the scary monsters now so that I can grow up understanding what I need to kill I'm tiny but I think we enter and we see her family when I was even tinier than I am now momma had tried to explain the concept of a great grandmother momma tried so hard to explain how she fit in the family her in that word repeated so often I called her just that family and yes I'm old enough now but family is what I've always known momma and grandma used to be amused by this but now they too sometimes slip and call her family I'm frightened as I gaze at her body connected to the machines that I don't know any of the names to and there's a lot I look at momma but she turns away realizing that I'm staring at the lone rivulet trickling down her face I wish she wouldn't I'm tiny but I need to know I look at grandma I don't even know I tried to tell her I need to know the pain of all the generations that gave birth to me she understands a bit more than momma she allows me to gaze at her own rivulets of tears before she crumples and has to turn away I'm tiny but I'm beginning to understand looking back at the bed I approach family I stare at her barely their hands I've seen them with my eyes but I know grandma has albums family used to be big not chubby like me, massive her hands are barely there now and her body is still but her hands are shaking her hands occasionally twitch as she attempts to stop the shaking her attempts are familiar I'm tiny but I too shake sometimes for example when momma's busy when she's looking I want to make her proud I want to make grandma proud too I'm the hope but I too shake sometimes I'm tiny but I'm strong family's now tiny too but no longer strong my still somewhat sticky hands hug her her hand hugs closer some of my quiet shaking becomes louder while some of her is quiet are we both now shaking or are we sharing her hand hugs tighter my hands do too the sticky mess of my hand doesn't bother her she's family and we need family momma says I'm tiny but I am the future maybe but we need family for the future I can't let family die I'm tiny but without families my name means nothing there are no opportunities for shared growth I won't let family die her eyes open and immediately mind play hide and seek because I'm tiny but all of a sudden I'm heavy heavy by the hurt I see swarming through the broken irises of family stories of the past stories happening I see mothers leaving and fathers drinking and children coping I see pain I see a lifetime of families breaking I see a century of families losing families I see families ending I see how my family is ending her hand tightens around my hand I thought we had shared all that we could but I was wrong I am tiny and I am wrong I can't know all the pain of yesterday even though I try I want to make tomorrow better but there's too much history is mama right to turn away when she cries is grandma curing us a little when she hugs family doesn't know neither do I but this lack of answers is something we share this search for answers is what we share families hooting and I'm not deaf to the stifles sobs from behind me and I'm not ignorant to my innocence but though I'm tiny I hoot I gaze into family's eyes her broken irises are coming together again they're reflecting something they don't have their own light they're borrowing a light what are you reflecting family hope she whispers this is all I think about as we leave mama holding tightly onto my hand as the lady at the desk says have a good day Miss Nation and grandma hugging me like a community as we pass it I look back at the tall but no longer formidable height of the counter I know I'll be back and our family knows it too I will climb again I'm tiny but I'm hope mama smiles softly down at me herring me mumble my name sleepily hope will be common hope I can tell you now that's my favorite character because when I heard the essay I immediately remembered my niece running up and down when she was a toddler and my mom who would equally try to get her under control and say hey no don't do that, hey don't do that but the manager say hey no don't do that should be doing the exact same thing so basically your pieces compels the reader or the listener to put themselves in the shoes of your character alright and again when I heard the name hope it basically had me thinking yes I know she's already thinking about a human being but I can't help but just imagine a little girl being that child in hope tell us about that essay why the name hope well it's interesting rewatching it now I'm trying to remember like what my thought process was when I wrote the piece and although I can't connect with again the details I do know that a lot of my pieces begin first with the emotion that I'm trying to convey and then the sort of setting and the characters kind of flesh themselves out for this essay the prompt was what are our what are the realities for shared growth something like that and I just had the idea to personify four different entities so the commonwealth nations family and hope and in doing that and making each of these persons related by great grandmother grandmother mother and then daughter I'm kind of implying that there is a connection between these like there is an inherent connection between all of these entities and that hope is the most integral her being the youngest but also connected to what you were saying about your niece I've always been very fascinated with hope as a concept I did this documentary a while back about my own relationship with hope I say documentary but it was very self directed just by myself but your documentary yeah so it was called assassinating hope so it was about me essentially realizing I don't know I was as I said I was a very strange kid I came up with this formula when I was younger that I didn't like feeling disappointment and all of the sadness and neuroticism that comes with disappointment so I realized that whenever I hoped for something that's when I would feel disappointed so in order for me to get disappointment and all those negative feelings I would have to get rid of hope so I went on this journey of yeah trying to kill hope so like never have any hope in any situation whatsoever and I realized in doing so that I was essentially killing myself in the very most succinct way to put it and then yeah I came up with this other this other formula where it was me hope disappointment that's just life and I think that hope is something that's just very integral in any question about our opportunities for shared growth as a nation as a commonwealth as any sort of entity for the future because hope is something that as much as you try to tame them like you were saying with your me so as much as you try to assassinate it like my documentary said as much as you try to yeah minimize it like it doesn't die it doesn't go away hope is always there as yeah like hope is always there and even if it does die always resurrects and just like thinking about that resilience that comes with hope that natural indomitable human spirit that comes with the idea of hope I wanted to really make that come through in this piece so in the final scene where we're seeing the great grandmother on the bed although she's dying there's this sort of internal monologue regarding just the connection of all entities so the family's dying and underneath that so it just keeps it's supposed to be this sort of generational cyclical nature but hope is supposed to make the decision that she's not going to watch or she's not going to repeat the same mistakes as her predecessors so yeah that was the kind of idea that I had with the piece but I was mainly thinking I felt what I wanted the piece to convey and then I worked backwards on fleshing out everything else yeah going backwards and fleshing out everything else this is what you had me doing with your third piece thank you very much for giving me that headache when you gave us the intro and you guys inherited just a little while she deliberately said I'm going to do it in one way it's going to have one meaning and I'm paraphrasing here and in another way it's going to have a different meaning and I was like now I have a whole assignment to go and do and that is that's going to take us into our next viewing for your to the final award winning essay it had to do with planet concept and I thought to myself if she going to speak on climate change if she going to speak on our current situations happening how we're not taking care of the earth and what do we need to do and it had me very interested and very intrigued so we're going to listen to the third essay right now and then we're going to find out just how did you even think to come up with that ladder for concept you have taken a good one My name is Khadija Halideh I am a recensor author the topic that I chose for this year's competition was there is no planet B how will climate change affect you and your community the title of my piece is our only planet B is a failed planet A this piece is a reverse poem which means when I read it the first way and then when I reverse it and read it the other way around line by line it will have a completely different meaning so please pay attention to the end is a failed planet A our only planet B the simple truth is that climate change is not a real issue for today only the delusional dare to declare that we absolutely have to change the way we live now such falsehoods are nothing more than fairy tales the fate of the future primarily depends on only the people of the future no blame belongs to the people of the present it is completely unacceptable to say the opposite without an unwavering doubt it is far more worthwhile doing the following that is just focusing on the problems we cause only if they affect us today and just trusting that our children will handle the residue of our decisions all by themselves tomorrow imagine the sheer cruelty of depriving ourselves of maximum wealth for the sake of the maximum health of other lives that divides our own we should be thinking realistically for the sake of the maximum quality of life for our humanity it is imperative we understand that survival is selfishness or in other words to survive is to be selfish how can one think that a garden of Eden can be possible without the exile of half of Adam and Eve of course not tell me is it misguided to believe that everything must come at a cost and that in this particular case has to be that cost and that this is simply the way the rule works in spite of this known truth the stubborn will still contest this by insisting that some rules are meant to be broken but it's too bad for them that everything coming at a cost is the superior rule of life not one person can counter otherwise experts say that there will come a time some islands will not survive the increased sea levels some species will not survive the increased global warming and some people will not survive the increased epidemic occurrence sadly but certainly significant success is never without significant sacrifice significant expansion is never without significant annihilation if you are not going to comprehend this and contemplate the bigger picture it is just plain ignorant for you to insist that for absolutely no good reason entire ecosystems and biomes and habitats are suffering without worthy cause and without noble purpose and without clear intention how could anyone agree to such nonsense isn't our ideal standard of living the result of all this destruction it is frustrating that there is still so much resistance to this obvious truth be part of the right revolution we shouldn't fight for the animals like they are equals and fight for the trees like they won't grow back and fight for the unborn like they are already born blind dreamers not big dreamers dare to believe wholeheartedly that preservation of the environment is preservation of all humanity this is just naivety not hope but hopelessness it is impractical to trust in our capacity for change too many of us keep miscalculating the trauma we ensue in the name of advancement while severely understating our planet's ability to heal itself we put too much unrealistic trust in our conscience and our morals and our humanity we must never compromise maximum advancement for our race we should not be in any kind of confusion about this why is there still so much ignorance we need to forget about being sustainable and concede to the principle survival of the fittest it is mindless to say things like to remember we are not the only human is to ensure that we stay human progress always trumps collateral especially collateral means the fate of people who don't yet exist undoubtedly it is just absurd to believe that the term humanity incorporates everyone including those who are not yet born this is the simple truth now I shall read the poem the other way around and it will have a completely different meaning this is the simple truth the term humanity incorporates everyone including those who are not yet born undoubtedly it is just absurd to believe that progress always trumps collateral especially collateral means the fate of people who don't yet exist to remember we are not the only human is to ensure that we stay human it is mindless to say things like we need to forget about being sustainable and concede to the principle survival of the fittest so much ignorance why is there still confusion about this we should not be in any kind of race for maximum advancement we must never compromise our conscience and our morals and our humanity we put too much unrealistic trust in our planet's ability to just heal itself what severely understating the trauma we ensue in the name of advancement too many of us keep miscalculating our capacity for change it is impractical to trust in hopelessness but not hope this is just naivety big dreamers not blind dreamers dare to believe wholeheartedly that preservation of the environment is preservation of all humanity shouldn't we fight for the animals like they are equals and fight for the trees like they won't grow back and fight for the unborn like they are already born be part of the right revolution it is frustrating that there is still so much resistance this obvious truth the result of all this destruction is not our ideal standard of living how could anyone agree to such nonsense without clear intention and without noble purpose and without worthy cause entire ecosystems and biomes and habitats are suffering for absolutely no good reason if you are not going to comprehend this and contemplate the bigger picture it is just plain ignorant for you to insist that significant success is never without significant sacrifice and that significant expansion is never without significant annihilation sadly but certainly there will come a time some islands will not survive the increased sea levels some species will not survive the increased global warming and some people will not survive the increased epidemic occurrence experts say that everything coming at a cost is the superior rule of life not one person can counter otherwise well it's too bad for them that some rules are meant to be broken in spite of this known truth the stubborn will still contest this by insisting that everything must come at a cost and that in this particular case the earth just has to be that cost and that this is simply the way the rule works tell me is it misguided to believe that a garden of Eden can be possible without the exile of half of Adam and Eve of course not how can one think that to survive is to be selfish or in other words survival is selfishness thinking realistically for the sake of the maximum quality of life for our humanity it is imperative we understand that we should be depriving ourselves of maximum wealth for the sake of the maximum health of other lives besides our own imagine the sheer cruelty of just trusting that our children will handle the residue of our decisions all by themselves tomorrow and just focusing on the problems we cause only if they affect us today without an unwavering doubt it is far more worthwhile doing the following that is the opposite it is completely unacceptable to say no blame belongs to the people of the present only the people of the future such falsehoods are nothing more than fairy tales the fate of the future primarily depends on the way we live now we absolutely have to change only the delusional dare to declare that climate change is not a real issue for today the simple truth is that our only planet b is a failed planet a planet b is a our only planet b is a failed planet a brilliant brilliant because you never need a plan b if your plan a is solid but we don't take care of planet a you give us a ladder to deal with we go up then we come back down why did you choose that format well we know that climate change exists but there is still a host of people who don't believe that it does and I was just really focused on that binary when I was writing the piece and I kept thinking our only planet b is a failed planet a for some reason I switched it around I was like what if I was to write the piece and switch around the entire piece to have the other perspective so I have the piece being read one way as coming from someone who does not believe in climate change and then when I read the piece the other way what if I have the piece reading as somebody who does believe in climate change so yeah that was that was the thought process behind that piece it's called a reverse poem I've read them before in my literature journey I've never tried one it was extremely taxing it was like I had to like write each line on a paper it's kind of hard to describe you'd have to actually try to write it to see how difficult it is but you'd have to write each line not each line like each phrase on a paper and then you have to spread it out on the floor and like jigsaw each piece until like you could read it one way and then backwards the other way in the working sense it was it became a sort of arts and crafts project but yeah it was it was an interesting piece it was it really was and when I listened to it I thought to myself if she was my English A teacher I would struggle to get at least 89% in her class not even 89% because she would be challenging me every day and you challenge her for every day don't you yes I would like to think so what take away would you have loved for individuals who have obtained from your especially the last one you just listened to the last essay the planet B and the planet A I guess in general this is kind of more generalized advice as I said one of my main aims with writing all of my pieces is connecting with someone and as someone who's tried to like bring my my writing to a public space with Ash Speaks and just Khadija in general with sharing your work there's always this sort of worry and doubt that comes with reaching as many people as because ideally you want to reach more than one person but I think the encouragement that I would give to a lot of writers is that is to not negate or to not minimize or discount connecting with one person because one human being is like an entire system of idiosyncrasies and personality and quirks and hobbies and tendencies and history so to connect with even something singular something so vast is a major feat it's a major accomplishment so I would just encourage people to especially like when you're performing connect with one person from up on stage and even when you're writing write with the audience of one in mind try to get to that one person I think that I think that that's what I would um that's a take away before we take ourselves away I would like you to just give us a small treat today now that one was totally off script alright folks when we saw her poems her essays we immediately thought to ourselves she's reading this off the top of her head spoken with artists normally do that and I'm sure you have a poem or two in your head you can recite at will to give us just a little snippet of something you're working on yes I have a piece coming out regarding colorism my experience as a dark skinned woman growing up in St. Lucia like Caribbean but also very much inspired by my younger sisters who are also dark skinned and just sisters in a more general sense just dark skinned friends dark skinned relatives dark skinned people I don't even know so the piece is entitled Black Skin it's supposed to premiere before the month ends so watch out for that on Ash Speaks and Calivash TV so I'm just going to I'm just going to perform a few lines from it thank you this is a poem about growing up with black skin no not brown skin not fair skin not the lightness belonging to a I'm talking dark rich, melanated glistening skin that ignited itself in the sun that in spite of me trying to inspire myself to overcome I cannot expunge myself loathing for it this is not a poem about self love this is a poem about the psychological displacement self hatred which started in school with me witnessing kids with skin the same color as mine gets shredded by bullying whilst I stood by and did nothing out of terror of being identified as even uglier than I had already thought that I was I had already been taught that I was I did nothing this is a poem about that time in third form that that girl looked me dead in the eyes as I walked past her she said to me with the familiar conviction of a pentecostal pastor you you look like a neg our word donkey and I was merely walking to class you see this is not a poem about growing up black this is a poem about growing up with black skin which is a different thing this is a different thing for me it was everything as a kid it was insecurity and insanity all at once it was me quickly getting used to being the dark ugly duckling in every friend setting it was those same friends being terrified to look like me it was my obsession with overpriced lightning creams it was me giving up an entire tennis scholarship because sports would mean sun and sun would mean rays and rays would mean me risking more blackness shit this is a poem about some serious pain this is a and I'll leave it oh oh ladies and gentlemen our three-time Queen's Commonwealth Essay Competition National Awardee Cadizia Halliday thank you so much for joining Nation Beat today thank you for having me wish you all the best especially in your studies thank you and we hope to hear a lot more from you in the coming weeks thank you okay this has been Nation Beat I am your host Kendall Eugene production of the Internet Information Service and NTN you have a good day the panel the discussion an objective an impartial view of the issues of interest to you Nation Beat is on now